Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gainax does. I don't own the song Attack or the band 30 Seconds to Mars, they are the creative property of Jared Leto. I also have no intention of making any money off of this piece of fan-fiction.
"Attack"
"An accident in Matsushiro?!" I'm incredulous. "No way!" I'm in disbelief. "What happened to Misato?" I'm worried. It all shows in my voice but… I can't help it. And Rei's response does little to bring me comfort.
"Contact hasn't been restored yet." Her monotone voice conveying even less emotion over the communications channel than it does in person.
"But, then, what will we do?" I'm confused and I'm scared. Misato's always been there for me and now that she isn't I'm not sure of what to do or how to act.
Asuka's face appears on my HUD, the scowl she always looks at me with on her face and the usual scorn in her voice, "Stop whining! There's nothing else we can do now!"
I'm still confused though, "But how can we fight the Angel by ourselves?"
As Asuka grimaces at me, her face stating clearly just how stupid she thinks I am Rei appears on my HUD as well, looking back at me from over her shoulder. "Commander Ikari will take command now."
"My father will…" And deep inside, so deep that I can't express it, so deep that I only barely know that it's there a silent pool of dread begins to form.
I wait, trying to keep my mind empty, trying not to worry about Misato, when the voice of one of the bridge techs draws me from my near trance. "Target is approaching."
I look up just as one of the others gives additional status reports, "All units for ground combat." At first it's hard to see the enemy; it's coming around a hill with the sun at its back, glaring in my eyes, but then…
I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing, or give up what I
Started and stopped it, from end to beginning
A new day is coming, and I am finally free
My eyes widen as I recognize it. "No way! An Angel? Is this an Angel?"
It's my father's cold voice that responds, "Correct, this is the target."
"You said that this is the target, but this is an Eva, isn't it?" I can't believe it! I won't!
Even Asuka sounds uncertain, "But that's… How could it have been possessed by an Angel?"
I wonder… "Is it piloted by a human too, a child like us?"
Asuka's face pops back up, incredulous and angry again, "You still don't know?! The pilot of Unit 03 is…" Her transmission goes to static.
Worried, I look at the static screen, "Asuka?" but the only response I get is her scream of pain and the sound of an Eva's armor being rent asunder before the screen disappears altogether. "Asuka?!"
More status reports…
"Eva Unit 02 has gone silent!"
"The pilot has ejected. Recovery squad is heading for retrieval."
"Target is moving towards Unit 00!"
My father's voice, "Rei, avoid close range combat and stop the target. I'm sending Unit 01 in now."
"Roger." She's always so calm… "He's the pilot." But what does she mean by that?
The comm. goes silent for a moment before Rei's gasp of shock and anguished cry come over the channel.
"The Angel is invading Unit 00's left arm. The nerve systems are being corrupted."
"Cut off the left arm. Immediately." Did my father just…?
"But you've got to sever the neural connection first!"
"Cut it off." He did! That bastard!
"Yes, sir."
Rei cries out in sudden pain as Unit 00's left arm is blown off entirely, her neural connection to her Eva making her feel the same pain. I can hear her… hear her fighting the pain and the shock… hear her shivering.
"Unit 00 is severely damaged. The pilot is wounded."
I nearly snap… But I don't… I don't have that kind of courage… "No way…"
"The target is approaching you. It will contact you in T-minus 20. You must destroy it."
"But this target is… Operated by a person, isn't it? Another child my own age."
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA
Suddenly it roars! It leaps at me, kicking me and knocking me down! But when I look at it, crouching for it's next attack I see it… "An entry plug! There is a person in there, just as I thought."
I make my Eva stand to face this… this thing… but it's hands lash out, one after the other, arms growing to incredible lengths so that it's hands can wrap around my Eva's throat! Around my throat! It slams me against a hillside, never letting go of its choking grip. The pain is unbearable! It hurts! I can't breathe!
"Life support is breaking down."
"The pilot's life is in danger!"
"No! Cut the synch ratio to 60%!"
"Wait!"
I would have kept you, forever, but we had to sever
It ended for both of us, faster than a
Kill off this thinking, it's starting to sink in
I'm losing control now, and without you I can finally see
"But Ikari, the pilot could be killed."
"Shinji, why don't you fight?"
I gasp weakly, the hold on my neck painfully tightening, "There's a person in there, Father!"
"Irrelevant! It is an Angel! Our enemy!"
The pain just gets worse, I know that if I do nothing that I'm going to die… "But… but I can't! I must help him! I can't kill!"
"If you don't, you will die."
"I'd rather die!" I don't want to kill anyone… I don't want to hurt anyone like I hurt Touji's sister… I won't kill… I won't!
"Cut all synchronization between the pilot and Unit 01. Do it now."
"Cut it?"
"Correct. Switch the control circuit to the dummy plug." I almost wonder what he's talking about…
"But the dummy plug still isn't functioning properly. Without Dr. Akagi's approval…"
"It's still better than the pilot. Do it!"
"Yes, sir" And suddenly it all stops.
But then… The Eva powers back up. It doesn't connect with me. It synchronizes with something else… "What is this?"
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA
And suddenly I just know rage! "What the hell are you doing, Father?!" Unit 01's arms reach up, without me making them! It's hands wrap around the other Eva's throat, without me making them! They squeeze, without me making them! And suddenly there's a pop and I know that the other Eva's neck is broken.
My Eva throws it on the ground. My Eva's fist slams into its head, turning it into a giant, bloody, pulped mess. My Eva rips off its armor. Its limbs.
"Stop this! Father, no! Stop doing this now!" I fight the controls, willing them to obey me. "Damn! Stop!"
"Stop it!. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" My Eva is pounding the thing on the ground, each punch sending even more of the giant's blood to cover the city.
And suddenly its holding the entry plug in its grasp… "Stop!" But it doesn't listen to me. It just squeezes, shattering the fragile cylinder and the fragile life inside of it.
"Stop!" I scream and for a moment I'm not sure which is more frightening, my voice or the continuing sounds of carnage.
Your promises, they look like lies
Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife (knife)
I promise you (promise you)
I promise you (promise you)
And I am finally free
Hours later and I'm still in my entry plug… Still crying… The Eva has gone silent.
Even Misato's voice doesn't bring me much comfort… "Shinji…"
"Misato, so you're safe?"
"I… I'm sorry…" She sounds hurt, almost afraid, and I can hear tears in her voice that almost match the tears in my own. "I had something important to tell you but… I'm sorry."
"Misato, I… I killed… My father forced me to… I begged him, but…"
"Shinji, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Report from the entry plug recovery team. The pilot's life signs are confirmed."
"He's alive?!"
Misato's voice still struggles… "The pilot of Unit 03 is…" She's still trying to say something but… "The Fourth Child is…" I'm trying to see who the pilot…
I magnify one of my external cameras and I see him. "Touji?"
"Shinji?" It's… "Shinji?" It can't be… "Shinji?!" There's no way… "Shinji?!" But it is. "Shinji?!"
My scream fills the channels. And I finally gain the courage to snap.
Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll attack, I will attack
I feel my Eva go berserk. I hear the bridge fly into a panic as they try to regain control. I see the timer pop up when they eject my umbilical cable. But none of it matters… None of it is real.
There is only one real thing right now. "Father! I'll kill you!"
My Eva runs. It runs back to the city. It smashes through the barricades and the gates, forcing its way down the catapult tubes. They try to stop it. Platform after platform smashes against my AT Field, each one doing little but slow me down as they shatter against that neigh-impenetrable barrier, forcing me to scrape away their debris to continue on my hunt.
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away (Run away), I'll attack (I'll attack)
I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA
Your promises
(promises, promises)
I promise you
(promise you)
I promise you
(promise you, promise you)