Puns n Puns
Chapter 1: They Meet
It's a beautiful day at the Loud House; and on this fine day a very unexpected guest ran up straight to the door. His heavy breath from exhaustion forced him to rest before ringing the doorbell.
"I …. I must ….. find help ….." the person took a long deep breath before he starts banging on the door like a mad man. "Help! I need help to stop a great catastrophe!"
Inside the house, a white-haired boy was speaking to oxygen before being interrupted. "Living in the Loud House can be tiring, but it's never a dull day-huh?" the boy heard the loud banging from the door. He rushed toward the knob thinking it was an emergency, but stopped himself when he recalled a life lesson from his parents.
A thought cloud appeared above his head, showing his parents, below the heads.
"Remember son, always look out the window before answering the door."
The boy ran to the window and saw a very particular man who's very skinny. Very veeeery skinny. As if it's a talking…..
"Sk-sk-skeleton!" the boy cried out. "There's a skeleton on the front porch!"
"WHAT?!" then nine girls, ranging from the ages 1-17, rushed down the steps (with the baby being carried).
"There's a corpse in front of our house!?" shouted the oldest looking one, a blonde girl with her cellphone out. "Bobby! There's been a murder!"
A small glasses wearing girl looked out the window and was quite surprised. "It appears that it's no corpse, but an animated skeleton, which is scientifically impossible due to the laws of-"
"He's with me." said a goth girl who just popped out of nowhere, scaring the group. "Lincoln, step away from the door. That's the Grim Reaper."
The boy named Lincoln, and the other girls gave the girl a shocked and horrified look.
"I am not dead. I just entered a contest to have a dinner date with him."
"But Lucy, you're only 8." Lincoln said to his little sister.
Lucy shrugged and answered the door, only to be disappointed by the not so threatening skeleton kneeling down in agony. "Dang it! I lost the contest after all!"
The skeleton man looked up with his gloomy eyes that quickly turned to sparkles. "We're saved!" He leaped right in and tackled Lincoln to the ground. "You must help me, human, stop the end of the world!"
Without warning, the 16 year old girl dressed in rock clothes threw the skeleton off her brother. "Hands off my little bro you creep!" She and the other sisters gathered around the skeleton and started beating him up in a dust cloud.
The skeleton stuck his head out to catch his breath, only for the 1 year old to crawl to him to whack him repeatedly with her rattle. "Poo Poo!"
"You ow don't ow understand!" With great strength saved for a rainy day, the skeleton threw the kids off him. "There is a misunderstand. I, the great Papyrus, have come with gruesome news from the future!"
"The future?" Lincoln asked the possible time travel. "and what might this news be?"
"Have I developed into a psychotic woman in the future and used my genius to disrupt the balance of the world just to experience the feeling of joy?" the 4 year old genius asked.
"I doubt it, Lisa." A 6 year old said, dressed in a princess outfit. "I bet he's going to tell us that I lose the beauty pageant."
"Naw, I bet its' about a reptile hunter eating all the lizards!" shouted a tomboy version of the girl. "I'll chew his feet right up!"
The skeleton named Papyrus gasped. "You would do that! You all must be savage heroes!"
"Or just another family defending themselves from an intruder, like all the others houses you broke into." Then another skeleton man showed up, only shorter than Papyrus and with a huge grin.
"Sorry for the mess. He received one of those fortune cards from some robot genie at the carnival and been looking for help up until now." The shorter skeleton walked over to the boy and held out his hand. "The name's Sans."
Lincoln, out of nervousness, shook the hand, only to be greeted by a fart noise.
"Heh, whoopee cushion, gets them everyone time." The majority of the kids groaned, even Papyrus.
"Sans brother, this is not the time to be lollygagging. This card here says it's the end of the world as we know it! We must-"
He was stopped when a 14 girl with braces started cracking up. "Oh boy, you can't beat the classic, am I right?"
Papyrus's pupils shrank as Sans chuckled. "Not unless you named an egg 'classic'. Which would be an 'egg'cellent name."
The two shared a great big laugh as the family looked at them. "Great, another Luan." Lincoln and the others side.
"Hey Lisa, how long will this last?" asked a sport-loving girl at the age of 13.
"Well Lynn; by my calculations it will last until they feel tired of their fun." The 4 year old named Lisa answered. "Which would be an impossible outcome."
Sans overheard Lisa and chuckled. "Well for your information, I find it hard to stop since my puns are a skele-ton of fun."
Everyone groaned again, but Papyrus however was shivering in his boot. "No, this cannot be!" Papyrus then wrapped the kids with his arms and ran out the door.
"Hey, where are they in a rush for?" asked Luan. "This isn't Russia."
"Eh, don't worry about my bro there. He's a real softy on the inside, minus the organs."
In the Back Yard
Papyrus dropped the kids in one spot, set up some cardboard around them, placed an empty kiddy pool on top, and crawled in through the entrance. "This will be a great fort to keep us safe from Armageddon. Now if only we have spaghetti."
The eldest sister had enough of this and stood right up, destroying Papyrus's safe house. "I do not know what is going on, but I'll have Bobby come over and beat the stuffing out of you, right after I turn you into a pretzel!"
"WIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" Papyrus shouted in fear and ran behind a tree.
"Lori, I think he's just scared." The second oldest one spoke to the older one. "Come here, don't be shy. My name's Leni, but you can call me Leni."
Papyrus, acting like scared and cute animal, slowly approached the family. "H-humans. I believe that my brother and your sister will destroy the cloth of empty room and watches."
Leni gasped in fear, Leni only. "Why?"
"Don't you see it? My brother loves bad puns." Papyrus and the others walked back into the living room to see the two telling jokes."
"So why did the chicken cross the road?" asked Luan.
"Because he felt like it. Mind your own beeswax." Sans said as Luan laughed.
"With their terrible puns, the world will give up and explode into a million pieces!" Papyrus said as Leni gasped.
"I hope there's no more bad news, I don't think I can breathe and gasp like this."
"Oh it will get worse!" Papyrus shouted. "No world means no The Great Papyrus, no Big Brother Sans, no Sisters, no Frisk, No Undyne, no Alphys, no Mettaton, no King Asgor, no King Asgore Clone, and worst of all, No spaghetti!"
Leni inhale so much that she collapsed out of lack of air. Lisa was quick to get air support, but she kept her emotionless tone. "I fail to see how this will tear the fabric of space and time. I suggest we continue our daily activities."
One by one, all the kids left the poor skeleton, minus Lincoln and Leni.
"Curses!" shouted Papyrus. "They must have realized all the good stuff that destroying the world will bring! Like no more war, no more pollution, no more death, and no more burglar who stole Frisk's bike that she saved all our allowance to buy!" Papyrus then shouted up into the heavens. "I'll find you burglar! I'll find yooooooooooou!"
Lincoln helped his sister up after she caught her breath. "Look, I think it's cool to save the world too, but I'll stick to things that will actually happen."
Leni heard Lincoln and gasped. "…. O.K., I caught my breath again." Leni took a breather and spoke with her brother. "Lincoln, how could you decide to do nothing to save the world?"
Lincoln sighed with annoyance. "Fine, I'll go with whatever this guy's saying, but I'm just making sure you won't get hurt."
"Awwwww." Leni gushed at her protective little brother. "Don't worry about me. I'm like, so ready to save the world."
"Yes, she is filled with determination just like that floating rectangle says that always follows Frisk around." Papyrus said before grabbing the kids hands and ran off. "Now let's goooooooooo!"
.
.
.
"What were they talking about?" Luan asked Sans who were still standing in the living room, which was the same place the group were in a few moments ago.
"Eeh, just keep making puns, kid. They'll be back."
End of Chapter