Title: Twisted like Taffy

Rating: M

Pairing: Leah/Edward, Leah/Jacob, Leah/Jacob/Edward

Summary: My mother always told me I was messed and now I am starting to believe she was on to something. I was twisted, wrong, but I wasn't alone.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!

AN: This is the Christmas gift one-shot for 4CullensandaBlack and I really hope that she likes it. The second half will be up in a few days. This was basically just explaining everything and there will be actual interaction in the second part.

When I was a little girl I always knew I wasn't like other children my age. Something inside of me was wrong and to this day I still cannot pinpoint the exact age I was when I realized that. Other children my age would play tag, color rainbows and puppies, sing happy songs meant to inspire, and dream of being an astronaut or a princess. Me, on the other hand, I didn't do any of that. The only songs I sang were dirty nursery songs my older cousin Paul taught me which got me suspended three times during first grade. My pictures tended to include lots of blood and gore, but after about the third meeting with school counselor I started hiding those pictures and paid my younger brother Seth to draw me some more socially accepted pictures with people laughing and happy families; they don't hold meetings about stuff like that.

As for trying to make friends with other students? I would have rather hung myself. I may have only been a kid at the time, but I felt like an old soul who knew more than they could ever dream of knowing. Plus, the one time I did try to make friends with some of my classmates I had suggested we play 'Salem witch trials' and at first they seemed to enjoy the game with the pretend trial and jury, but as soon as I pulled the matches from my pocket, they didn't want to be friends anymore. I didn't really care anyways, the dark recesses of my mind was more than enough company for me.

High school didn't end up being any better. I was still an outsider, still a freak, and yet it worked for me because as it turns out I was not the only freak. I quickly came to realize that there were others who were defined as different, like me, and a few of us bonded over time. I can't we were friends, no it went deeper than that. We had this bond nobody else on earth could understand because we understood each other on a whole different level. We may not have been friends, but if one of us were in trouble we would all bind together to help them. That's actually how I met him, Edward Cullen, with an evil demon that rivaled the demon inside of me. Edward was the devil to whatever good side I may have and he often told me I was the dark angel that helped keep him tied to the grounds of reality.

I met him officially when I was a sophomore in high school, though I had seen him in the halls quite frequently. I'd heard about him from rumors and his sister Alice, who I spent a lot of time with. Alice was pretty cool from my perspective and saying that should tell you how twisted she must have been for me to think she was cool. Alice was four foot nine inches with spiky black hair to match her all black wardrobe, dark eyes the color of burning embers, and an even darker personality to match. Alice was a cutter, the scars all over her body were proof enough, but she didn't cut herself because she was depressed, but rather because it brought her pleasure in ways I couldn't understand, but she and her boyfriend Jasper, he was a cutter as well and was the one who had gotten her in to it from what I had been told, seemed happy enough with the arrangement so I didn't really see any reason to intervene; my policy was to each their own as long as it had no effect on me.

Anyways, that's how I was introduced to Edward Cullen. He was a year older than me with hair like burned copper, eyes a deep forest green, skin so white it rivaled that of the moon on a clear night, and that smile, his twisted, sick, manipulative smile that caused shivers to run down my spine every single time it was aimed at me. To this day I still can't seem to pull myself from his web, not that I wanted to even if I could. He had helped me to embrace my darker side and I could never thank him enough for that. He was my lover, my teacher, my master, he was my everything and he knew it, but I was all of that to him as well and we needed each other to be whole. Our connection wasn't one we could explain to others, but we didn't have to explain anything because we were exactly how we wanted to be and felt no need to defend ourselves.

Like I was saying, Edward had helped me embrace who I was and understand. Edward was a vampire, not the burning up in the sun and allergic to holy water kind since they did not exist, but he liked to drink the blood of his 'pets and I craved the feeling of his teeth breaking my skin and stealing my life escense; it wasn't love, no, it went deeper than that. He took my blood and in return gave me what no other could. He gave me the pleasure of pain. We all have our addictions, blood was his and pain was mine. We were the perfect masochist and sadist couple and the scars he left on me proved it.

Some people would call me crazy for allowing him to do the things he did to me, but that is only because they lacked the capacity to understand. I wasn't like they were and therefore I showed my emotions differently as did Edward. Others thought we were sick and lacked the ability to love, yet that was so far from the truth it was laughable. Our life style was our way of expressing our love for one another. We weren't doing anything to effect the people around us and I saw no reason to try and change. That was the problem with the world today; society didn't want to accept what they saw as different so my lover and master along with myself had created our own world and we were content to stay in it forever with no regrets whatsoever.

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It was during my freshmen year of college that I meant Jacob Black. If Edward was the devil to my devil then Jacob was the angel to my angel, if I had one that is and according to him I did. It was funny if you think about and I did think about it, a lot. Edward had the face of an angel, but it was just a mask to conceal his demon. Jacob on the other hand looked all tough, but he had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever met. He was so sweet and for some reason that drew me to him like a moth to a flame and I had no idea why. Nice people usually annoyed me and yet Jacob did not. No matter how sickly sweet he was, I just couldn't break the spell he had put me under. I wanted to understand him.

At first I didn't tell Edward for fear of losing him. We belonged to each other and if he knew I was developing feelings for someone else, it might just send him over the edge and not in the way I liked, but as it turned out, I did not have to tell him anything. He knew from the very get go what was happening and he told me that as long as he was the only one who was my master, who I let drink from me then he was fine with it. It's funny because Edward accepted it easier and quicker than I did. Of course he was more possessive for a while, but I liked it so no big deal.

Jacob took a little more convincing. You see he thought that Edward was threatening me to stay with him, I mean I was covered in scars so I cannot really blame him for jumping to that conclussion. He actually tracked Edward down and they got in to a hell of a fist fight before Alice and I arrived and split them up. For two weeks I hadn't spoken to either of them and both reacted in very different ways. Edward finally got fed up with being ignored and actually kidnapped me out of class one day, which I found very sexy and it played a big part in my forgiving him, and locked me in our 'special' room for three days until I gave in and promised to no longer ignore him. I never told him this, but a part of the reason I ignored him for so long was because I knew without a doubt the pleasure his anger would give me and i had been right.

Jacob had reacted a little differently than Edward. He had come full of apologies with roses in hand. It was something I wasn't used to and I think that was the moment I realized I cared about him as more than just a crush like I had first thought. With Edward I could be who I was without fear of being judged and with Jake I could be what the world expected me to be and it was strange but I liked being both sides. I was much like a coin, I couldn't only be one Leah since two of me existed. I need to be whole and in order to do that I had to be free to be both of my sides and Edward had no problem with that as long as our relationship, our twisted love, remained between the two of us. Surprisingly Jacob was willing to consider it and for two months we took things slow first as friends, going to the movies, taking strolls in the park, even going to the local carnival together and eating cotton candy and caramel apples. With Jake I had fun, no blood, no pleasurable pain, normal fun. It was a new experience for me.

Deep down I think I always knew someday I may have to make a choice. I haven't been put in that position yet, but I always have this fear it will happen at any day and honestly I don't think I could choose. How does one choose between two halves of a whole? I wanted to keep things the way they were, yet already I could feel them changing. Edward had been talking about taking our relationship to a deeper level and Jake was always talking about how he wanted a family some day. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask for everything, not fair to Jacob or to Edward, but how could I commit to only one of them and not feel as if half of me had died? For all I know one of the guys could end up changing their mind and the decision would be made for me. Hopefully that was not the way it would play out, but if it did there wasn't anything I could do about it. For right now all I could do was enjoy the time I had with my boys and try not to think of what may come in the future.

TBC...

Please R&R like always!