Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A/N: CRACK PAIRINGS FTW. Also, although Poww is rather arrogant and boastful, this is more of in Lilynette POV, so she doesn't know. I apologize for any OOCness.

I CAN ONLY REALLY SEEM TO BE ABLE TO WRITE SHORT STUFF RIGHT NOW. I'M VERY SORRY. DX

I'm in a bit of a rut right now, so it'll take a while before I get better, and longer, ideas to write about...

Out of all of Barragan's fraccion, Lilynette found Choe Neng Poww to be the most mysterious in terms of personality. He hardly ever spoke, and when he did, it was usually while making his daily prayers to his lord and god, Barragan-sama. He found it much more entertaining to simply sit in his room and read than participate in any activities with his fellow fraccion. He wasn't exactly rowdy like Avirama, arrogant like Findor, bullish like Nirgge, boastful like Ggio or sultry like Charlotte. He was just...Poww. As long as his praying goes uninterrupted, he wouldn't even hurt a fly.

Aside from his somewhat vacant personality, Lilynette was also drawn to him by his sheer size, as he towered over all of the other arrancar in Las Noches by several feet. He became even larger when he unleashed his zanpakuto, so large in fact that he had to be given special instructions to only activate it when outside of the base. He was a bit too loyal to Barragan sometimes, and he ate almost as much as Yammy, but those were his only faults in Lilynette's eyes. He dragged his knuckles alot, too, and that left marks in the floor, but the only person who ever got upset about that was that neatfreak Tousen.

Poww was the only one who ever listened to Lilynette's problems, too. He even gave her sage-like advice every so often on how to live life properly as a fraccion. In a way, Poww was almost as important to her as Starrk was, which is definitely saying something. He was her secret crush...

As usual, Poww was sitting in his room, his large hands holding a tiny paperback novel close to her face as he skimmed over the pages with lightning-fast speed. Suddenly, the bedroom door flung open, and Lilynette came charging in with tears in her big eyes.

"Hey, Poww! Starrk was being a big jerk again today...!!" Lilynette cried.

Poww grunted. "...Yeah? How so?"

"I'll tell ya! He called me a 'shorty' and 'pain in the ass' and lots of other really mean stuff! He's so mean to me sometimes!! I mean...I'm his other half, for Aizen's sake! He shouldn't be insulting me! Doesn't that imply that he's self-loathing or something?!"

Poww shrugged. "Starrk just says those things to you because he secretly cares..." he replied.

"...R-Really?"

"Yes, really. He shows his love for you by using harsh insults and beating you over the head with a rock. It's all common sense. Barragan-sama treated me the same way for many years, and he still does now, but I've grown used to it...you should do the same. Just shrug it off."

"Wow...I think you might be right, Poww! I don't know how, and I'm a bit concerned that you get hit with rocks, but...you're right!! You're totally right, just like always!!"

"Of course I'm right...I'm one of Barragan-sama's esteemed followers, after all."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! IF I WASN'T ACTUALLY THE FEMININE LOLI COUNTERPART OF A MAN WITH A GOATEE, I'D KISS YOU...!!"

"...I'll keep that in mind..."

Not once did Poww even glance up from his book during that entire conversation. In fact, he looked totally uninterested in what the girl was saying that whole time. When she finally did leave the room, though, Poww looked away from his novel, and a single query entered his tiny brain:

'...Who was that annoying chick? Do I know her? Why does she have the key to my room, anyway?'