Loving Her
Author: Gabrielle MoonBeam
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (Not mine, CLAMP's)
Archives: FF.net, my page. If you want it, ask.
Warnings: Shoujo ai, musings, shortness (Tomoyo/Sakura)
Notes: I wrote this on a whim when I felt like writing about Tomoyo's feelings for Sakura. It's not that good, since I wrote it down in fifteen minutes.
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You know, sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to end up like my mother. Missing, longing for something I can't have, for something so far out of my reach.
But since Sakura isn't dead, I think I still have a little hope left.
Oh, sorry! I forgot to tell you who I am, right? My name's Daidouji Tomoyo, and I'm in love with my best friend. My best friend who captures Clow Cards and looks amazingly cute in the little outfits I design for her.
Yes, I am in love with Sakura, that adorable little girl. And yeah, I think I haven't got a chance with her since that Syaroan kid came into the picture. But, hey! All I've ever wished for Sakura is happiness, and if that happiness is loving Syaroan, so be it.
It doesn't mean I can't be jealous though.
I sigh a little, resting my cheek against one palm, my gaze fixed upon the huge TV screen portraying Sakura's latest Card catch. I smile, a little bittersweet, at the image she presents, all innocence and purity.
I think she doesn't even know how I feel about her. I did tell her once, but she... My Sakura didn't understand what I tried to say. She's blind towards my emotions, blind towards the attention I give her.
I pout a little, wishing she was here with me in this huge palace my mom likes to call our home. It gets so lonely without anyone to keep me company during the business trips of my mother.
With a small smile, I tilt my head to the side, playing with the long locks of my bluish black hair. Sakura...
It's not as though she's deliberately ignoring me, I know, but sometimes it really gets on my nerves not to be able to get through to her. How can she be so naive?
And sometimes I wish it had been me who danced with her that day I confessed I loved her, not the Flower-card. Sometimes I even dream it's me who's holding her near, who's cooing into her ear and petting her hair.
But dreams never do accomplish anything, now do they?
I mean, just look at my mother, Sonomi. She's so unhappy, so depressed because of what happened to the only person (besides me, of course) she's ever loved. Nadeshiko was the only one she'll ever love. And sometimes I'm so afraid I'll turn into my mother.
I still have many long years to go through at the local schools, so many years of loving Sakura. And I'm willing to bet she'll end up with Syaroan. But still, when my school ends and I'm free to pursue further education, I think it's time to break my promise to Sakura about staying together forever. She never valued that promise as much as I did and still do.
Yes, I think I'll leave. Leave to find love somewhere else. And forget about Sakura.
But I don't think it'll be that easy. Not by a long shot.
The lights flicker closed in the video hall as I leave, heading for bed and another day of loving my best friend.
And I'll wait for the time I'll leave her, the time I'll be free of loving her.
Even though I think that time will never come.
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Author: Gabrielle MoonBeam
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (Not mine, CLAMP's)
Archives: FF.net, my page. If you want it, ask.
Warnings: Shoujo ai, musings, shortness (Tomoyo/Sakura)
Notes: I wrote this on a whim when I felt like writing about Tomoyo's feelings for Sakura. It's not that good, since I wrote it down in fifteen minutes.
-------------
You know, sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to end up like my mother. Missing, longing for something I can't have, for something so far out of my reach.
But since Sakura isn't dead, I think I still have a little hope left.
Oh, sorry! I forgot to tell you who I am, right? My name's Daidouji Tomoyo, and I'm in love with my best friend. My best friend who captures Clow Cards and looks amazingly cute in the little outfits I design for her.
Yes, I am in love with Sakura, that adorable little girl. And yeah, I think I haven't got a chance with her since that Syaroan kid came into the picture. But, hey! All I've ever wished for Sakura is happiness, and if that happiness is loving Syaroan, so be it.
It doesn't mean I can't be jealous though.
I sigh a little, resting my cheek against one palm, my gaze fixed upon the huge TV screen portraying Sakura's latest Card catch. I smile, a little bittersweet, at the image she presents, all innocence and purity.
I think she doesn't even know how I feel about her. I did tell her once, but she... My Sakura didn't understand what I tried to say. She's blind towards my emotions, blind towards the attention I give her.
I pout a little, wishing she was here with me in this huge palace my mom likes to call our home. It gets so lonely without anyone to keep me company during the business trips of my mother.
With a small smile, I tilt my head to the side, playing with the long locks of my bluish black hair. Sakura...
It's not as though she's deliberately ignoring me, I know, but sometimes it really gets on my nerves not to be able to get through to her. How can she be so naive?
And sometimes I wish it had been me who danced with her that day I confessed I loved her, not the Flower-card. Sometimes I even dream it's me who's holding her near, who's cooing into her ear and petting her hair.
But dreams never do accomplish anything, now do they?
I mean, just look at my mother, Sonomi. She's so unhappy, so depressed because of what happened to the only person (besides me, of course) she's ever loved. Nadeshiko was the only one she'll ever love. And sometimes I'm so afraid I'll turn into my mother.
I still have many long years to go through at the local schools, so many years of loving Sakura. And I'm willing to bet she'll end up with Syaroan. But still, when my school ends and I'm free to pursue further education, I think it's time to break my promise to Sakura about staying together forever. She never valued that promise as much as I did and still do.
Yes, I think I'll leave. Leave to find love somewhere else. And forget about Sakura.
But I don't think it'll be that easy. Not by a long shot.
The lights flicker closed in the video hall as I leave, heading for bed and another day of loving my best friend.
And I'll wait for the time I'll leave her, the time I'll be free of loving her.
Even though I think that time will never come.
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