Hey, everyone! I know, I know: I should be working on 'The Legacy' or 'Stuck In a Moment', but I've got the biggest writer's block in the history of fanfiction. However, I expect to attain a full recovery in about a week, two at most.
Anyway, this little fic was inspired by Moshi Moshi Queen's numerous (and great) Sakura-gets-pregnant fics. I just wanted to give this a try. It's told in Sakura's kid's point of view. And, I admit, I couldn't resist making this a little Syaoran-centered. Well, what did you expect!?!?
Also we'll have to pretend a little, okay? Let's pretend Fujitaka is not so… Fujitaka-ish, but rather Gendo-ish (as Evangelion's Shinjii's Father). Please? Thanks!
Oh, and for the slow people, when he says 'Mother', he means Sakura.
Disclaimer: If I could own three things, I would own Syaoran, Will, and Landen. I don't. I don't own anything important. Yet.
*****
I've known Syaoran forever. Since the day I was born, which was like, what, thirteen years ago?
It's an interesting story, actually. Mother met Syaoran some centuries ago, when they where both ten and he had come to Tomoeda in search of the Clow Cards. You know the story, don't you? About how Syaoran tried to take the cards from her, but she had been picked by the fur ball so she wouldn't give in? Aunt Tomoyo swears that she knew, from that moment, that they were meant to be together.
Of course, Aunt Tomoyo also says that Bjork looked cute in that swan dress of her.
Anyway, they fell in love (more like pushed into it, really). But then, when they were twelve, Syaoran had to leave for Hong Kong, and Mother told him that she'd wait for him. Syaoran, however, took a little longer than Mother expected.
At first, she was content with waiting, e-mailing, and the long phone conversations every two weeks. But then, everyone around her started growing up, and there were dances and dating and stuff. By the time she was sixteen, all her friends, even Aunt Naoko, had someone, and she hadn't even been on a date. Eventually, she got tired of sitting in the sidelines while everyone else danced and kissed and shared ice creams and cappuccinos.
So one day, Mother called Syaoran, and they had a very long chat. By the time it was over, Aunt Tomoyo says, Mother's room had a new, used tissue carpet and Aunt Meiling guarantees that Syaoran's wall had several dents on it.
But Mother swore it was for the best. Of both of them. They decided to stay friends, but start seeing other people. And so they did.
Supposedly, Mother got right to it. Uncle Eriol says that it was because she didn't want to have time to regret her decision. I say it was because she hoped that, the faster she looked, the faster she would find someone enough like Syaoran. For a long time, she dated guy after guy , hardly having more than two dates with each one.
Until she found him. The guy called Ryuren. Mother said he was sweet, and caring, and handsome, and clever, and maybe a little too serious. Aunt Tomoyo, however, says he was cute, but a little too slow, that he cared too much about looks, and that he wasn't good enough for 'kawaii Sakura-chan'. I'm not sure which one to believe. You see, I've never met the guy, even though he's, technically, my Father.
Common sense, however, leads me to believe in Aunt Tomoyo's words. He did, after all, abandon Mother. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, when Mother was seventeen, Syaoran came back. Back then, Mother was with Ryuren. Now, I know, for a fact, and because I know Syaoran, that he must've been really jealous, even though he didn't show it.
Aunt Tomoyo tells me that that time was really hard for Syaoran. He, too, dated a lot, but Aunt Tomoyo says that he didn't really enjoy it. Uncle Eriol says that he only did it to keep up with Sakura, either as a sort of vengeance, or just to feel better about himself.
I should probably mention that Uncle Eriol is a shrink. A really good, costly one which only really rich, desperate people can afford.
Anyway, Syaoran and Mother sort of… drifted apart. I mean, they still hung out together and talked and stuff, but it wasn't as personal, or as deep, as before. Then, one very dark, stormy, clichéd night, Syaoran answered his door just to find Mother standing there, drenched from head to toe and sobbing recklessly.
Syaoran says that she immediately threw herself at him, and he couldn't do anything but hold her, as she cried and cried and cried. Then, she looked up and said, in this little, sob-broken voice "I'm pregnant."
For a minute or two, he was speechless. Then, he hugged her and congratulated her and told her how great it was and how happy he was for her. And all that time, she stood there, quiet and staring, until Syaoran stopped talking and asked her, very seriously and Syaoran-like: "You've told Ryuren, right?"
That set Mother off again. In between sobs and hiccups, she told Syaoran about her meeting with Ryuren, about how he had freaked out when she told him, and how he had demanded she get rid of 'it' (yes, I was an 'it' to him). And she had said that there was no way she would get rid of him, that 'it' was their baby and she loved him or her. She also told Ryuren that if he didn't loved the baby, then maybe he should just go.
At that, he was quiet, and Mother dared hope, for an instant of two, that Ryuren did love the baby, and did love her, and that he would apologize and they would get married and raise me and be a family.
Mother was always a dreamer.
Ryuren didn't do any of those things. He just stood up and walked away, leaving Mother alone. After telling Syaoran of this, Mother was overcome by tears once again. After she calmed down, she told Syaoran of how Grandpa had reacted to the news. She said that he had started yelling, freaking out about the fact that she was no longer a virgin. But then, the pregnancy part dawned on him, and he yelled some more. She was crying all the while, she said. Then, Grandpa stopped yelling, and turned to Mother. He apologized for yelling, and hugged her, and comforted her.
And then he suggested an abortion. He said that it was the best thing to do, that she still had her future ahead of her, that she couldn't be willing to forfeit all that just for the sake of me. Mother wouldn't hear of it. She told Grandpa that if he wouldn't support her, then she would just have to raise the baby on her own. She stormed off, not caring about the rain that poured heavily outside.
Then, Mother looked at Syaoran, and asked him if he, too, thought she should get rid of me. Syaoran answered that he thought she should do whatever she thought was best, and that he'd support her in whatever she decided. She, of course, told him that she was going to keep the baby, even if it meant she wouldn't be going back home. So, Syaoran suggested that she stay in his apartment.
And that's how Mother and Syaoran ended up living together. But Mother still had her pride, so she refused to let anyone else know about her pregnancy. She didn't want anyone to know she had fallen for Ryuren's charm, or that he had left her. She didn't even tell Aunt Tomoyo.
Of course, Aunt Tomoyo guessed something was wrong. Within three months, she and the rest of Mother's friends knew what had happened. Although, Uncle Eriol claims he knew all the time. But he's just weird like that.
Aunt Tomoyo always tells me how happy Mother was during that time. Even thought both Syaoran and Mother denied that there was anything but friendship between them (they actually believed that!), Aunt Tomoyo and Uncle Eriol knew better. I know better too. You know how people always talk to unborn babies? That's because they can hear you. What they can't, though, is understand you. But, Uncle Eriol took care of that some two years ago, when he was practicing his hypnotism, using me as a guinea pig. Made me remember some of the stuff I heard back then.
Oh, they were in love alright. The talks they had, the tone of voice they used… Had they not been two of the most painfully clueless persons to ever walk on the face of the Earth, they would have married. That bad it was.
At the start of her third trimester, Mother stopped going to school. Oh, she didn't drop out or anything. She planned to go back as soon as I was old enough to stay with someone else. Syaoran took an afternoon job as a martial arts sensei, and Mother babysat fro the twins in the apartment two doors from their own. The money they made was enough to buy the stuff I would need, and to take care of any extras.
When Mother attended Lamaze class, she took Syaoran with her. Of course, as Uncle Eriol loves to remind him, being Syaoran, he could hardly keep consciousness through any of the videos. During the last two or three weeks, Syaoran, too, stopped going to school, arguing that Mother might need him any minute. Mother disliked that, saying that she didn't want Syaoran to sacrifice anything for her, but she was ignored.
And then, it happened. Uncle Eriol really likes telling this story, of how he and Aunt Tomoyo were just sitting in Math class, when his cell phone rang. Despite the teacher's glare, he answered it. It was Syaoran, right in the middle of a nervous breakdown, saying that it was time, and that he and Mother were on their way to the hospital.
Uncle Eriol turned to Aunt Tomoyo. "Is it time?" she asked. He nodded in response. With a squeal of excitement, Aunt Tomoyo took grabbed her satchel and ran out of the room, with Uncle Eriol right behind her, both deaf to the teacher's protests.
They we suspended for a week after that, in case you're wandering.
Supposedly, Mother was in labor for around 21 hours. Aunt Tomoyo says that she was asleep when Syaoran finally came out, carrying me in his arms and announcing happily: "It's a boy!" She says that even though I had only been alive for a few hours, I had my eyes open and stared at the camera. My eyes are green, like Mother's were.
I've seen the tape of when Aunt Tomoyo and Uncle Eriol entered the hospital room. Mom was lying in the bed, pale, but radiant. Her hands reached out when she saw Syaoran. He approached her with a smile, and handed me to her. She held me to her chest, hugging me close, while Syaoran sat beside her, one arm around her shoulders, the other hand caressing my cheek.
Something had changed between Mother and Syaoran, something Aunt Tomoyo and even Uncle Eriol didn't know about. We looked like a family. A happy, loving family.
Soon after seeing that video, I asked Syaoran about it.
"I loved Sakura." He confessed. "I never stopped loving her, not even after we broke up. Neither did she. I think we just wanted to experience things. At least, that's how I felt. Deep down inside, I knew that, sooner or later, we would end up together, and, before that happened, it would be nice to experience other relationships, other people, instead of just being with the same person all my life." I thought that was stupid, and told him so. "Maybe it was." He answered. "But our stupidness paid off, didn't it?" Seeing my puzzled face he answered. "We got you. And at the end," he added "it was you who brought us back together. Right after you were born, I was watching Sakura as she held you, and… I don't know what happened…" I could tell Syaoran had forgotten that I was listening "I just had this urge to kiss her. And I did." He looked at me. "We were together since then."
My first four years of life were very happy ones. Grandpa and Mother made up, and he visited us often. Mother, Syaoran, and I lived like a family. I remember that we would all sit in the big couch in the living room, with me in Mother's lap and she in Syaoran's and they took turns reading aloud from children's books. Our favorite was one about a second-grade class that had to make a lot of money so they could all visit the Statue of Liberty, in New York. Mother used to say that, as soon as I was big enough, we would all go there together.
We had picnics in Penguin Park, and went to the matinee every Sunday. On Saturday mornings, Syaoran would always make pancakes for me and Mother and then we would all build castles and stuff out of Lego. In the mornings, I would stay with Grandpa, and Mother and Syaoran would pick me up after school. We were such a happy family!
After they were done with high school, Mother and Syaoran married. It was a little ceremony, with only them, Aunt Tomoyo, Uncle Eriol, Grandpa, Uncle Touya, Uncle Yukito, Aunt Meiling, and me.
When Mother and Syaoran went to college, I went with them. They went to a foreign university, and rented an apartment. Normally, one of them would be with me while the other went to class. But when neither could take care of me, the people at the sorority house were delighted to baby sit me.
But then, Mother died. I'm not completely sure what happened. Whenever I ask Syaoran, he gets really, really sad. Still, he told me that Mother ha never fully recovered after I was born. The doctors said she had been too young, her body too small, so my birth had been hard on her body. After my birth, she kept having some sort of internal bleeding, which the doctors were barely able to contain. Over the next two years, it kept coming back, until the doctors couldn't fix it anymore, and she died.
I only remember bits and pieces of the months that followed. I remember, though, how crushed Syaoran was. Still, he didn't leave me alone. He kept playing with me, telling me stories, taking me to the park… like we used to do with Mother. But occasionally, at night, when he thought I couldn't see him, he would sit and watch the tapes that Aunt Tomoyo had made. He would even cry sometimes.
A year passed, and Syaoran got better. He still loved Mother, but now he would smile instead of cry when he remembered her. As soon as he was well, Grandpa said that perhaps it would be better if he took care of me. He used the same argument he had given Mother all those years ago: That Syaoran shouldn't have to have a kid to pull him back from doing all the stuff he wanted to do.
Syaoran, however, didn't give me away. He said that I wasn't in any way a bother to him, that he loved me, and wouldn't ever give my away. Still, Grandpa insisted, and even threatened to take the situation to court. Syaoran then showed him some of the documents he and Mother had kept, the ones that declared him my legal father, the ones in which he gave me his last name.
Grandpa couldn't argue with that.
And so we've lived since: just Syaoran and me, still eating pancakes every Saturday, and reading together in the evenings, even though he's thirty-one, and I'm thirteen. He tells me of Mother, and their years together. He tells me of my antics as a kid, and of his.
I'm really lucky. I've got a whole bunch of people who love me. I've got Aunt Tomoyo and Uncle Eriol, who freak me out, yet always get the best presents. I've got Grandpa, Uncle Touya, and Uncle Yukito, with whom we have family dinner every Sunday.
I've got Mother, who loved me enough to die, not because of me, but for me. Mother, who told me stories, and hugged me when I couldn't sleep at night. Mother, who left me the Clow Cards. Mother, who visits sometimes, even though only I can see her. Mother, who was cheerful, and kind, and funny, and all the things I wish I were. Mother, whom I miss with all my heart. Mother, whom I love so much.
I've got Syaoran, whom I only called by his name for the sake of this story. I've got Syaoran, whom I not only call Father, but who is my real—and only—Father. Syaoran, who cares enough to lecture me when I don't get good enough grades. Syaoran, who thought me how to make all of Mother's favorite dishes. Syaoran, who frets over me when I get sick. Syaoran, who takes me to the park every Saturday afternoon. Syaoran, who teaches me martial arts. Syaoran, who took me to New York to see the Statue of Liberty. Syaoran, who loves me like his own son.
Yes, I'm really lucky.
******* The End************
Yay! So, how did you like it? Please, please, please: review! Please!
--Kirjava-chan
