This is my first ever Lewis fic so it is fair to say I'm more than a little nervous about this! It is also the first fic I have written in this style. This was based on Jen's challenge to include the numbers 5, 4, 154, 26, 876. I hope you enjoy.
It is 4 o'clock and I've been sat here at my desk since lunch time doing the paperwork from this morning's arrest. Well I've been trying to anyway. Every time I remotely begin to concentrate my mind drifts off to her. The woman I want more than anything. The woman who I spend most of my waking and sleeping hours thinking about. My Chief Superintendent. My boss. But not my Jean.
I would do anything just to be able to tell her how I feel, how much I want her, how right we'd be together. But I know I never could. There are so many reasons why it would never work; she's my boss, she's married; in fact there are 154 reasons to date that I have thought of. I try to remind myself of a few of them throughout times like this, when I just need to be able to concentrate so I can get away from here and into the safety of my own home.
As I look up I see Jean stroll so elegantly through the outer office and I know she's heading in this direction, and in that second I know I'll forget every single one of those reasons that I had running around my head. As she walks towards mine and Inspector Lewis' office, I count approximately 26 people in the office who have turned to look at her. The men stare because they lust after their boss; the women stare because they admire her and want to be just as gorgeous and desired as she is; something she never seems to notice.
The object of my affections has been in the office for no longer than 5 minutes and she has already affected me in ways I'm sure she'd be horrified by if she knew. One of those witty comments she so frequently makes at our expense that make me fall in love even more and she's gone. Just her presence in the room for such little time has made my day complete again and I'd give anything to tell her know just how magical she is.
As Jean leaves the pub later that evening after joining me and Robbie for a while, I realise that it's been 876 minutes since I first saw her this morning. If she knew that I was able to work that out she'd either make some humorous comment about me being too clever for my own good, or she'd be marching me out of the station with some sort of restraining order. But either way, having spent another day trying to do anything but think about the amazing woman who is now walking away from the pub and back to her home, to her husband, I know that I can't go another 24 hours without telling her how much I love her. Tomorrow has to be the day when I finally get to say what I have waited years to tell her.
But deep in my heart I know that tomorrow will be the exact repeat of today, and that forever on it will be a groundhog day. One day I will find the courage to tell her, but until then this excruciatingly painful and magnificent secret of mine will have to stay embedded within my heart.
I hope you enjoyed this.
Ellie :-)