Author's Note: This is my first fan-fiction. I am using this site and others like it as a teaching project for a literary criticism course I am teaching. Basically, I am seeing if I can practice what I preach. I truly would like your feedback and comments, good or bad. I realize this topic is over done. Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, its characters, or related materials. All credits go to Veronica Roth. Some dialogue and scene usage are quoted from her published works, as there was no way to improve on perfection.
Sweat flies from my knuckles as my fist strikes the bag. Inhale. Exhale. Strike. My blood flows white-hot in my veins and my heart races. Smack. I strike the bag again, my raw and bloody knuckles stinging with every punch. My flesh pounding against the bags smooth leather surface remind me of the sound of the belt tearing through the air. With every punch, every kick, I can feel its sting, razor sharp in my mind. I concentrate harder and my body becomes a blur of fists and feet. Knees and elbows colliding with the bag. I imagine it is him standing in front of me. I can hear his ever reserved voice taunting me. The memory sickens me, coursing through every inch of me until I am consumed by rage. I feel the need to drive all the cowardice and weakness from my body. I will not allow myself to be that weak, vulnerable child from Abnegation again.
I continue to rage against the bag, until the chain snaps and the bag goes crashing to the concrete floor of the training room. I stand over it, looking down at it in disgust. I imagine it is his broken body lying on the floor in front of me. I give the bag one final kick before leaving the room.
I look at the clock on the wall as I leave the training room. Shit. Seven thirty already? They will be here soon enough and I still have to get the net ready, but if I hurry I should have enough time. I run from the training room towards the fear landscape room. I pass Zeke on his way to the cafeteria and he yells in my direction as I run by.
" Shit man, you ever give it a rest?" I ignore him and continue on my way. I wipe my face with my T-shirt to clear the sweat that is now stinging in my eyes. _
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? Words from my childhood in Abnegation. I can remember my mother repeating them over and over again before my father would get home at night. They play through my mind as I plunge the needle into my neck. Soon I feel the pain of the serum spread down my shoulder. I glance at the clock on the wall. Seven forty-five. Then the floor beneath my feet begins to rise.
I look down the 100 story building to the ground below and I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. My head begins to spin at what I know I have to do. Every time it is the same. I close my eyes and count my breaths. 1,2,3,4,5...I jump. Its never the jump that I fear. It is the falling.
My heart races. I can feel the pounding in my ears over my entire body. Suddenly, I feel my feet slam into the ground below. I try to stand up quickly, but it is too late. The walls begin to close around me. The ceiling of the box forcing me into a crouch. I claw at the walls, feeding into my panic. I can feel the walls suffocating me, like rubber bands strapped tightly around my chest. Sweat pours from my body. I draw myself into a tight ball in the attempt to make the shrinking box feel bigger. I hug my knees to my chest. Just when I know the box will crush me, I hear a voice inside my head. This isn't real.
When I open my eyes, the box is gone. I stand able to breathe once more. I gulp cool air and my chest burns with relief. The rubber bands that were strapped so tightly around it begin to fall away. I turn around and know that I will see her. A young woman sits in a chair. Her hands are bound behind her, a single spotlight shines on her. Her head is hanging and blonde hair falls forward in a golden halo obscuring her face. I wait a moment and then I hear the voice.
"Shoot her." I peer into the darkness, searching for the voice, knowing I won't find it.
"Who is she?" I demand. "What are her crimes?"
"Shoot her."
I look at the young girl. "Show me your face." I demand.
The girl slumps lower in char, without looking at me she says, "You could save me...if you wanted to. Be selfless. Be brave." There is something familiar about her.
"Shoot her or I will shoot you."
I hear a gun cock behind me and know that I cannot save her. Every time the same. I pick up the gun from the table in front of me. I am not selfless. I am not brave. I aim at her head and fire. I close my eyes as soon as I pull the trigger. I can never look at her. I drop the gun letting my hand hang limp by my side.
I open my eyes. I am standing in my old room in the Abnegation section of the city. I look around for a moment and then hear his voice behind me. He is already taking off his belt when I turn around to face him. My father stands sneering down at me. All at once I am a child again. I immediately put my arms up to cover my face. As the belt slices through the air, I hear him say "This is for your own good, Tobias."
I feel the sting of the belt on my arms and back. Over and over it lashes me. I become smaller and weaker with every strike. I close my eyes, take five deep breaths. This isn't real. _
When i open my eyes again, I am standing in the middle of the fear landscape room. I am still slightly shaking and covered in sweat when I look at the clock again. Eight ten. Those last two took longer than expected.
I am heading to my apartment to shower when Zeke stops me. "Just a heads up Bro...Max and Eric are looking for you. I told them you were reliving your nightmares." I nod at him. "See you at the net, Bro. Hopefully nobody misses this year." He walks away grinning and making gagging faces, contorting his limbs to make it look as if he is a body on the pavement.
I reach my apartment to find Max and Eric waiting for me. I resolve myself to the conversation I know is about to ensue. "Max. Eric. Can I help you?" I try to act surprised they are here, but the truth is I have been avoiding them for days now. Our last conversation had ended rather pointedly. Eric scoffs and rolls his eyes, his many facial piercings glinting in the dim hallway security lights. Max clears his throat. "Four, we would like for you to ...uh...reconsider our previous offer."
"I told you last week and the week before that...I'm perfectly happy in my current position." It was an honest answer. There is something very satisfying with scaring the living hell out of initiates. There is a finality to my tone indicating that the subject is no longer open for discussion.
Eric sneers at me and pulls himself up off the wall he was leaning against. "I don't think you are truly considering your best interests or the interests of your faction here, Four. I would hate for one of your initiates to suffer because of your judgement." Eric's tone is menacing.
"What exactly are you implying Eric?" My voice is calm but my demeanor is starting to mimic his. Max intervenes before Eric has a chance to answer.
"Look Four. We all know relationships between the factions are strained right now. We could use someone on our leadership team with your diplomatic skills." I can tell Max's last words hit a nerve in Eric. I watch as Eric's eyes narrow and grow cold and threatening. Every inch of his body tightens and he looks like a tiger about to pounce on its prey. He knows he can't beat me however, and thinks better of it. I smile slightly at him. Coward.
"Think it over during initiation. We could really use you." Max nods his head at me and walks toward the Pit. Eric stalks away after him bumping into my shoulder hard as he passes. I enter my sparse apartment and collapse on to the bed. The words "Fear God Alone" stare back at me from the wall opposite my bed. Taking the position Max offered me would mean seeing my father, an Abnegation leader, again. But if I refuse again, I will be forced to tell Max and Eric why I keep turning them down, forcing me to admit my cowardice in front of them. Neither choice is one I am particularly fond of. _
I stand at the bottom of the net checking to make sure all the rigging is secure. Lauren and Zeke enter trailed by other Dauntless. The net is a good 10 feet above the floor, but it looks much higher cast in the light of the gaping hole above, the only light in the vast cavern we are standing in. I turn to face the now forming crowd. Max steps up, followed by Eric, and yells "Hey! Shut it!" Everyone falls quiet as he begins to speak.
"Soon we will welcome a new group of members to our ranks." Fists begin to pump wildly in the air and shouts and cheers ring out from the growing crowd. Max puts his hands up and the crowd becomes quiet once more. "As we all know, it will not be easy and a few will not make it. But, Dauntless is not something you can earn or be taught, like the knowledge of Erudite or the selflessness of Abnegation. Dauntless is something you are born with." His voice grows louder with the last few words and the crowd begins to cheer and pump their fists once more. With that, Max turns and heads for the roof. Eric not far behind him, as usual.
I return to my position beside the net. I stand with my arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, trying to get into my intimidating instructor mode. I am lost in my thoughts of what Eric said earlier about the initiates. His threatening tone playing over and over in my head and I know that I will need to be extra careful not to piss him off this year.
"God Four. What are you trying to do make them all want to crawl back up?" Lauren says sarcastically. This breaks me from my thoughts and I realize she may be right. I don't need to go too harsh on them just yet. I can at least learn their names first.
Before I can make a comment back, I catch a familiar form in the sky above the net. I listen for the scream, but it never comes. The body slams into the net, a tangle of blonde hair and grey clothes. I see her put her hands up to her face and a small giggle escapes her mouth. Did she really just laugh about jumping off the roof of a 10 story building? I reach my hand out to help her down. She is still shaking and crawls across the net towards me a little too enthusiastically. I can see her blue-grey eyes have an almost manic look in them. She reaches the edge of the net and I have to catch her to keep her from falling on to the wooden floor below. She feels tiny and fragile in my arms, like a bird.
"Thank you." She says looking around the cavern.
"A Stiff, the first jumper? Unheard of." Lauren smirks at her. I can tell Lauren is actually impressed, but her appearance is a little intimidating if you aren't used to Dauntless women. The girl looks taken aback by her comment and I see the Abnegation begin to show in her.
"There's a reason she left Lauren." I turn my eyes back to the Abnegation girl, still gripping her arm where I caught her before she fell. "What's your name?"
"Um..." she stammers, unsure of herself after Lauren's comment. The spark, so bright a moment ago, gone.
I give her a slight smile and lean in close to her ear, so that only she can hear me. "Think about it. You don't get to pick again."
I see thoughts play out across her face and then that wild spark reignited in her eyes. "Tris." She says firmly.
"Tris." Lauren repeats, grinning. "Make the announcement, Four."
I look over my shoulder and shout, "First jumper - Tris!" The awaiting Dauntless begin to cheer. Just then I hear a scream from behind us as another jumper lands in the net. I let go of her arm and place my hand on her back leading her out of the way of the net.
"Welcome to Dauntless." Her wild eyes flash at me once more, before she is swept away into the welcoming crowd.