After an almost death experience McKay decides to have a change of heart towards Sam.

Pairing Sam/McKay friendship S/J

Spoilers Season Eight, Nine and Stargate Atlantis Grace under Pressure

Disclaimer: Not mine wish they were but oh well don't sue don't have anything anyway.

Sam had a tough week. First she had to chase Baal on earth for crying out loud, wasn't he supposed to be gone with the rest of the Goa'uld? Then she had to figure out a way to beam a Naquada building into space. To top it off she also had to deal with Barrett asking about her social life. " Are you single then, referring to the fact that she was no longer engaged to Pete. Why was her social life or lack there of his business anyway? He was probably just trying to make conversation, yeah right , she believed that. Not sure of how to answer him because she didn't know herself, she replied, not exactly.

That pretty much summed up the relationship Lt Col. Sam Carter had or didn't have with her ex-commanding officer one General Jack O'Neill. Boy, even saying ex-commanding officer seemed weird to her. Not exactly just friends, wanting so much more but not knowing how to stop thinking of him as just Jack instead of the General was difficult to say the least. It was complicated. With the regs no longer in the way they were free to have a relationship but real life kept getting in the way. Wanting to have a relationship and more but not exactly being able to make it happen.

She got transferred to Area 51 Research and Development while he started a new job as head of Home World Security. They barely had time to talk to each other and every time they tried to get together something would prevent one or the other from visiting. Sam was beginning to think her dream of a life with Jack and a real relationship was just that a dream. Her time at the cabin was filled with good memories of their time together and they both let go of some of their insecurities and enjoyed themselves. Maybe a little too much because lately it was all Sam could think about and she was distracted and she hated to admit it, lonely and missing Jack.

The unthinkable happened and Col. Carter found herself under the General's command once again when she was asked no begged to rejoin the SGC due to the threat of the Ori.

Even though he was not directly in her chain of command he was indirectly in charge of the SGC and there fore the pesky regs were an issue again.

Sighing deeply she began to check her email and catch up on the multitude of memos and other information in her inbox. She scanned through her list of emails and noticed a familiar if not entirely welcome name Rodney McKay. Wasn't he in Atlantis and what in the world was he doing emailing her?

McKay and Sam weren't exactly friends and truth be told she really didn't care for the crass, egotistical, self-centered scientist who actually thought he was smarter than her and called her the dumb blonde. Pleeaase

Oh well it couldn't hurt to read what he had written.

Sam, or should I say Carter,

Thank you so much for saving me and I will be sending you a private message later today when Atlantis sends its weekly reports. I appreciate everything you did for me and I am going to follow your advice that you gave me.

Your friend,

Rodney McKay

What the hell? Sam was confused she hadn't talked to Rodney since he left for Atlantis and she certainly didn't give him any advice. How did she save him and what private message could he possibly be sending her anyway?

Curiosity got the better of her and she went down to the gate room to see if she had any private message in the reports sent by Atlantis. Scrolling down she came across an encrypted file. For Sam's eyes only.

She quickly downloaded the file to her laptop and went to her lab to read the important message.

Sam,

I can't thank you enough for helping me during my crisis and in return I would like to give you some advice. Since you are probably confused why I wrote you I will try and explain it to you in simple terms just kidding. I know you are really intelligent Sam and I never meant to hurt you with the dumb blonde remark.

Almost dying helped me gain some perspective on a lot of things and I realize that some of the problems I have you also share. While we are two of the brightest people on the planet, sometimes our interpersonal relationships suffer due to our insecurities.

You saved my life while I was submerged under the water in a sinking puddle jumper. You helped me focus, remain calm and supported even when I was ready to give up and just let myself drown. Even though rationally I know you were just a figment of my imagination, emotionally you were very real and did I mention very hot. I know that you don't think of yourself in this way but you are very attractive. Especially when you are kissing me and trying to seduce me. Don't laugh you did kiss me.

But the thing I remember most about the kiss and subsequent seduction was that your heart was not in it.

All I had to do was look into your eyes and I could see that you did not really want to kiss me but someone else. Before you disagree with me, look into your heart and don't over analyze it. For once do what you feel without letting your brain talk you out of it. I know that you care for a certain grey haired general but for some reason you are letting circumstances prevent you from being happy again. Do we sense a pattern here? I realize my track record isn't that great either but I am trying to change and this letter is about you not me so to continue.

You told me that I push people away and I am arrogant and selfish. That is true. I admit it. Now I want you to actually realize that you are pushing Jack away. You may not realize it but by not taking a chance you are ensuring your failure. Relationships take effort and commitment to work. You are a workaholic and you need to quit cold turkey. Take the time and make the effort to build your relationship. You guys already have a great foundation of friendship that has stood despite hurt and betrayal by both of you. Don't wait because you never know when it's your time to go and don't waste time arguing or being hateful to each other. Long distance relationships are hard but communication is the key. Keep each other up to date on what is happening in your life. Share your lives even if you don't share a house or bed all the time. Spend as much time together as possible. Don't let your past influence your future. Jonas hurt you and made it difficult for you to trust men and their intentions. Jack needs you and you need him as well. Oh my God do I sound like a hallmark card or what?

Well on to the good news, I have arranged for General Landry to give you six days of leave plenty of time to go to Washington to visit Jack and put my advice to work. To give you a push in the right direction I also emailed Jack and told him about our shared kiss and time together you can thank me later.

Oh my God oh my god he didn't, she was going to kill him when she saw him again. Sam didn't have time to react further because her cell phone was ringing and it was General O'Neill.

In Washington (Jack is in his office checking his email)

To: General O'Neill

From: McKay SGA.gov

Wasn't that guy in Atlantis? I wonder what he wants.

Dear Jack,

I hope you don't mind me using your first name since I am a civilian. Recently I have had a near death experience which Carter helped me though.

What the heck does that mean? How could Carter have helped him, she was at the SGC the whole time wasn't she? Curious to find out more, he kept reading.

I realize that we haven't been the best of friends, but I wanted to no, needed to tell you what happened to me while I was on board the puddle jumper.

Suddenly Jack remembered something, oh yeah the puddle jumper submerged but they were able to find and retrieve Dr. McKay but the other person aboard the jumper drowned. I wonder what this has to do with me and Carter. Even in his thoughts he could not seem to call her Sam.

At first I thought that I could figure things out and everything would be okay but a serious head injury made me hallucinate Dr. Samantha Carter. She helped me realize what I had been planning to do was foolish and could even result in my death. I was nothing but determined and it took her seducing me and kissing me to help me see reason. Yes, she kissed me on the mouth and with tongue and yes it was pretty great too.

Jack thought back to the time at the cabin and sighed deeply.

She also took off her shirt and was wearing only a blue bra. We were wet and she said something about since she was my fantasy I should at least get some.

Ah before you kill me, we didn't and I would never but not to say I haven't thought about it anyway…Here she was looking hot and sexy but when I looked into her eyes, I saw regret and sadness not happiness. I was feeling happy after we kissed but she… well she was feeling something else and it definitely wasn't happy. I soon realized that the only reason that she kissed was to distract me in order to waste some time so I couldn't complete my plan.

After that intimate moment she appeared redressed and helped me focus and stay alive until I was rescued. I can never repay her for what she did for me but I can do my best to ensure that you two quit playing games with each other and learn to trust each other. I know you trust one another with your lives but your hearts are a different matter entirely.

My brain tells me it wasn't really Sam who saved me or was there or who I kissed but my heart feels differently. I believe that fate gave me a second chance and I want to make sure that the person who made that possible is happy as well. I know it's out of character for me to care about anyone but let's just say dying has a way of putting things in perspective. So no I don't have any ulterior motive other than to see Sam happy and I know deep down where you can't admit it to yourself yet you want that too. Heck if you didn't you would never have stood by while she crushed your heart and dated Pete.

No I guess not but it still hurts even though I thought I had gotten over that

Here is your chance to make amends with Sam and bring your relationship to the next level. Don't screw it up. I have arranged for Sam to have some leave time and you as well. Well what are you waiting for, call her already .Do I have to do everything, oh of course I do.

Back at Sam's Lab in the SGC

Hello Sir,

What did you need? You received an email from Rodney McKay? Yes, I received one too.

No, I don't know what is going on with him. No I can't believe his imagination well he did have a head injury. No, I can't imagine why he thought of me. You are jealous really why? Oh I see well I don't know what to say because it wasn't really me and of course I wouldn't really do that . He thinks I'm hot and you agree?

Well that's shocking NO he left out the part about me undressing when he told me the story. The kiss was bad enough Holy Hannah. Thank God because I am so embarrassed and it wasn't even me, this is so confusing.

You want me to come to Washington? Rodney arranged for leave? Yes I'll start packing now. No I don't want to waste this chance we have been given.

I never in my life thought I would be thankful to Rodney for anything but I am.

Yes I agree we need to talk.

I just hope that's not all we do.

See you soon sir, yes I'll start calling you Jack for cry 'in out loud but only if you call me Sam.

Bye Sam

Bye Jack

Part II the Weekend coming soon