n e v e r h a v e [h e r]
.
five boys
&
one girl
.
~"it's like glimmering liquid gold. you reach out to grasp it only to have it slip through you're finger. realization dawning, that you never really had it."~
.
Cameron Fisher:
{because cam fisher will always see her.}
He saw her first. He loved her first. He had her first. Cameron Fisher would always be Massie Block's first love. He lost her first though, and for that he would never claim the title that Derrick Harrington could. He could never claim to be her first boyfriend, or any of her boyfriends for that matter.
Cameron Fisher was a coward. He was the one who loved her first, but he was also the first to let her go. He loved her from the moment they shared their first dance at one of her mother's charity galas, but he was too afraid to ever tell her. He knew that his best friend loved her too, and in fear of being rejected for Derrick, Cam gave up his first chance to be with her. And when Claire moved into the Block's guesthouse Cam was captivated with her. The Florida charm and innocence took his attention. But his heart had already stolen by Massie.
Cam first became friends with Massie after exchanging some jokes at another gala. He was the first guy to really see her. To see that there was a real person behind her perfect façade. Cam saw that she had fears and was afraid to be hurt. But he also saw how brave see was when she faced all her fears. Out of every guy in BOCD, he was the first and only one who saw her when it mattered. He was the only one to see her cry. Because Cameron Fisher always saw Massie Block.
Yet, Cam ignored Massie's long glazes at him, flirty emails, and those god- damn smiles and asked out Claire Lyons instead. All because he wasn't positive of Massie's true feelings; Because it wasn't spelled out in black and white, but outlined in gray. He gave up the alpha of BOCD and settled for the girl who simply was the exact opposite of Massie in order to move on and forget her. Cam Fisher was such a coward he gave her up before he even tried.
And Cam Fisher would never forget the day he asked Claire Lyons out. He would never forget the look in Massie's eyes as Claire squealed and told her the news. Cam would never forget how her amber eyes were filled with betrayal and hurt when she turned to him and their gaze connected. He would never forget the moment he realized and really knew that Massie had loved him too, but he had been too afraid to see it. But even more so Cameron Fisher would never forget the twisted pain in his gut when he found out that Massie was dating Derrick two weeks later.
He had his chances to make up for letting her go whenever he and Claire broke up. He could have taken Massie back when he and Claire had broken up for the last and most official time, but he didn't. Because Cam Fisher saw Massie and he knew that if the way one thing Massie never was, it was a coward. Because even though she was scared, she opened herself to the hurt of love, even when the chances seemed slim. Something Cameron Fisher would never do even as he learned that Derrick Harrington had too lost the most perfect girl in Westchester.