"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
"There's so much I want to tell you. So many things that you didn't get to see."
He felt stupid sitting there, his jeans getting damp from the early morning mist on the grass, pouring his heart out.
"Spencer and Wren are getting married next year. He finally worked up the courage to ask her. I helped him pick out the ring, it was beautiful – not your style though, yours should have been an antique. Wren and I we – he was really there for me. We've become quite the friends over the last year."
He looked around and breathed out a sigh of relief. Nobody was here this early in the morning – 6:33 am.
He had woken up early by a heavy pain in his chest, knowing today would be one of those days were the grief seemed almost paralyzing.
"Hanna finally got some of her designs sold to a few stores in new york – she's been working so hard on them, she deserved it. Caleb and her are looking at some apartments there, but they still haven't found 'the one' – you know how stubborn Hanna can be. She sometimes calls me in the middle of the night, just wanting to hear about you. She even still have some inappropriate student/teacher jokes to tell, you would think she had used them all up by now."
He reached out and removed a small orange leaf that had landed in front of the marble stone with unique silver engraving. He let his fingers linger just above the latest date written on it, his eyes watering as he remembered how that day had changed his and so many others life.
"Emily's still swimming. She took a long break from it after the accident but just a few months ago she started up again. She has started swimming in the national competitions by now, but she has yet to win one. Im sure she would have won already if you had been sitting on the line cheering your lungs out for her."
It was no longer possible for him to keep his tears at bay and he let them slide freely down his stubbled cheeks and under his chin before they soaked the collar of his jacket.
"Mike is settling in good at college – he choose Hollis to stay closer to everyone. He's starting to open up more to me, letting me know just how wonderful a sister you were. Hes struggling – a lot. But I'll make sure he'll be okay though, just like you always did."
He felt his chest tightening when Byron and Ella crossed his mind. His left hand made its way to the back of his neck and rubbed the small birthmark there, a thing he did whenever he was uncomfortable.
"Ella and Byron they- we didn't have to hide all that time. The secrecy and the lying, it wasn't necessary. They already- your father knew about us and I think your mother did too. They were just waiting for us to come to them. When I heard what had happened to you, I knew I had to do it without you - tell them exactly how much I loved you. They accepted it and honestly, they've been amazing to me ever since. They invite me over every once in a while just to talk – Ella even showed me the baby pictures you so desperately tried to hide from me the first time I was at your house."
He took a deep breath and choose his next words carefully.
"They forgive you. I know how much you worried about them and how they would feel when we told them. You didn't let them down and your father is not ashamed of how his little girl turned out – the one thing you were sure he would be. They forgive you, they love you."
He whipped away a few tears before running his hand through his messy black hair. He was sad yes, but frustrated even more.
"I don't understand how this happened. You had a whole life ahead of you – a life that had barely begun! A life you should have shared with your family, friends and me. Your dreams of writing a novel, going to college, traveling the world – those should have come true!"
Birds started to sing in a nearby three, stoping his ranting for just a few seconds while he tried to calm himself down.
"You were intelligent and passionate. You had hope and saw the bright side of everything. You were beautiful and you had the ability to love unconditional and most importantly; you loved me!"
A small sob escaped his lips. Behind him he heard faint voices and the sound of shoes against gravel, someone was probably visiting a loved one just like him.
"Im still writing. Honestly, I have never written as much as I do now. You've inspired me in so many ways. Im writing down our story – from start to finish. I want everything to be remembered. How you were slightly hesitant to talk to me that first day in the bar, the way you put your pinkie finger next to mine on my desk at rosewood high – I've even written down how your eyes shone with happiness when I woke you up at midnight on your birthday with a lit cupcake just for you. I want your friends and family – our friends and family – to know how much I adored you and everything you wanted in life."
He intertwined his own fingers, pretending for just a second that she was there with him. He stared at the many flowers and candles in front of him – a prove that the woman he loved had been loved by so many else.
"Im still trying to get my writing published. My short stories I wrote about you – us. The ones you read over and over again as we cuddled up on my small couch. I want to do it for you, you know? You wanted something of your own to be published and since that wont happen now, I want to at least have something out there published about you."
He glanced down at his silver watch, 7:04. He had to leave soon so he could go home and clean himself up before going to work.
"I need you to remember, Aria Montgomery, that no matter where you are now I will always love you. You'll always be the one."
With his last words of love, he dried away the remaining tears and got up. He kissed the tips of his fingers and touched her name engraved in the marble stone. He walked away, leaving his heart with her.