chapter thirteen (Marie) Josh and I rushed back to my room, almost trampling Carla and Jeff in the process. Carla and I hugged quickly before we entered our rooms. "Be careful," Carla told me. "You too. Yell if you need anything." She followed Jeff into her room and closed the door behind her. I went into my room, where Josh was already studying our copy of the floor plan. I got the key out of my purse, where I had put it for safe-keeping. "What do we do first?" I wondered aloud. I was tingling all over with nervousness and excitement. "I'm not sure. I wish I had some clue as to who or what we were looking for. Maybe we should start with your room and work our way down the hall." "There are no doors here that this key belongs to," I thought aloud. "There's just the bathroom and the closet, which is where I put my suitcase and where I found the dress I wore earlier. I didn't notice anything unusual besides that." "All the same, let's take another look in the closet." We went over and opened the door but all we saw was my suitcase and the dress, neatly returned to the hanger. Josh stepped into the closet and tapped the walls tentatively. He pushed at the back and side panels of the closet and finally shook his head. "Nothing. Okay, so the closet is a dead end. What about the dresser drawers, or the vanity table?" he asked me. I searched the single drawer of the vanity table while he poked around in the three dresser drawers. "Nothing again," he announced. "These are all empty." "Same here," I sat on the chair in front of the vanity table for a moment. Josh got down on all fours and looked under the bed. "Nothing but dust," he said, standing up. "So far, we've found a whole lot of nothing." "Maybe Great Uncle Marlon's greatest treasure was having space." "In that case, this room is loaded with treasure," Josh shrugged. I stood up and pulled the vanity table away from the wall, but there was nothing behind it. Josh did the same with the dresser. Then he took a quick look in the bathroom. When he came out I was standing in front of the beautiful, old full length mirror. "This thing must be ancient. I wonder if Uncle Marlon invested his money in antiques." I swung the mirror upside down to see if anything was attached to the back. At the same time, I was stunned to see a panel in the wall behind the mirror slide open. "Josh! Look!" Before he could say anything I stepped through the panel. "Marie, hold on a sec-" To my horror, his sentence was cut off by the panel sliding shut. I let out an involuntary shriek. "Josh!! Can you hear me?" I banged on the door. "Yes," he answered, his voice muffled. "Can you open that panel?" I tried without success to slide it back open again. "Not from this side. Use the mirror to open it." I waited a moment and then the panel slid open again and Josh stepped through. "Thank goodness," I breathed - and then the panel shut behind us. "Huh," was all Josh said as we stood there staring at it. "You know - when I said 'use the mirror' I meant it as in, 'use the mirror to get me out of here,' not 'come in with me,'" I commented. "I'm sorry," Josh said sheepishly. "I was just kind of excited about finding a secret door. If it's any consolation, I remembered this," he said, holding up the floor plan. "I forgive you," I said with some relief. "What is this place?" We were standing at the top of a broad stone step leading down to a candlelit stone staircase. It seemed to go on for quite a while and all we could see at the bottom was more dimly lit darkness. "At least there are candles." I hoped I sounded more positive than I felt. "So if there are any creepy, crawly things or more fake dead bodies, we'll see them." "Is that really a good thing?" Josh said with a little smile. "Aren't there some things you'd rather not know?" "If there's a giant spider crawling up behind me, I want to know about it," I said firmly. We looked at each other and then we both turned and looked behind us. "No spider. Shall we?" Josh held out his hand and I took it. "Here goes nothing," I took a deep breath as we started slowly down the steps ...******************** chapter fourteen (Dee) "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" "I'm making myself a sandwich." I looked up from my position on the kitchen floor, where I had been searching a cupboard. "Romeo," otherwise known as Joey, was just putting the final slice of bread on a sandwich that would have been worthy of Dagwood Bumstead, or possibly Shaggy from "Scooby Doo." "Why are you quoting Shakespeare?" he asked as he finished with a flourish. "It was written on the cupboard door." I held it open so he could see it. "How can you think about your stomach at a time like this?" I got to my feet. "We only have a few hours until morning. How are we going to find out who killed 'Evi Stomar' if we waste time eating?" "I can't possibly search for anything on an empty stomach," Joey insisted and took a big bite of his sandwich. "Mmmm," he said as he chewed and grinned at me. He swallowed and said, "You should probably have one, too." I glowered at him and started searching another cupboard. "I'm busy." Joey started opening cupboards as he ate. "What are we looking for?" "I have no idea. This is really unfair! We don't even have a clue where to look," I glowered at the abandoned dummy still lying on the floor. "Plus we're stuck with her," I nodded in its direction. "You know, I could swear that thing winked at me," Joey said, peering at it. "Don't be a jerk," I snapped at him. "That's not funny." "Aw, don't worry, honey," Joey picked up his sandwich in one hand and came over and hugged me with his free arm. "I'll protect you." "Oh? With what?" "My Brooklyn attitude." "As I hear they say in Brooklyn, that and a token will get you on the subway." I pulled away, only slightly irritated, and started glancing through another cupboard. As far as I could see, there was nothing unusual or original about the kitchen whatsoever. It was clean almost to the point of being sterile. Everything was neatly organized, from canned goods to boxed items, right down to everything in the refrigerator - at least, until Joey had gotten to it. "Don't move - I have a broomstick!" I turned and saw Joey waving a broomstick - minus the broom. "What are you doing?" "Looking for weapons to protect us with," he answered and then took another bite of his sandwich. "You're in a kitchen and that's the only thing you could think of? Great. If we get attacked, we're doomed." I rolled my eyes and shut the last cupboard door with a bang. Joey was unfazed. He opened a nearby drawer and bellowed, "Aha!" A second later, he whipped something out and held it up so I could see it. "I found a knife!" I looked at him for a long, cold moment. "Are you sure you're from Brooklyn?" I finally asked him. "Positive. Why?" "You're from Brooklyn, New York, and you call that a knife?" "Well, a knife of sorts." "Joey. That's a butter knife." "It can still be used as a weapon," he told me defiantly. "If anyone comes after you, I'll -" "Spread him to death?" I finished for him. "Put him on toast? Finish your sandwich, and then quit fooling around and help me look. It's hard enough doing this without knowing what to look for. I'm certainly not doing it by myself." "Okay," Joey said repentantly. He quickly ate the last of his sandwich, washed it down with some milk and together we finished our search of the kitchen, only to find ... nothing. "Now what?" Joey looked around blankly. "I don't know. I guess it's on to the next room." I sighed. "I just wish I had a clue as to what to do next." I picked up the broomstick with the intention of returning it to the broom closet while Joey put his dirty dishes in the sink and wiped up the crumbs. I tossed the stick in the over-crowded closet, and to my irritation several things fell out. When I tried to shove them back in, more odds and ends slipped out, until finally everything fell out with a crash. "ARGHGGHH!" I shrieked in frustration. "Look at this crap! Why is all this in here?" I shoved a paint can and some old scrub brushes aside with my foot. "Just what we needed, to waste more time cleaning up!" "Let's just shove it back in. It doesn't have to be neat, right?" Joey quickly started stuffing things back into the closet. In his enthusiasm, he tossed a paint can inside just a bit too hard. I heard a cracking noise as it smacked against the back of the closet and winced, closing my eyes as I heard something else crash. "What happened? Have we wrecked my uncle's house? I can't bear to look," I wailed without opening my eyes. "Look anyway," Joey told me and I heard excitement in his voice. Opening my eyes, I realized that the hurled paint can had hit and broken open the thin wall that had been the back of the closet, revealing a dark passageway. "We found a tunnel!" Joey jumped around happily. "I don't believe it! We did - we found a secret passageway!" I pulled our copy of the floor plan out and studied it briefly. "It's not on here. I wonder how many of these there are!" "Well this one's ours. Come, on, let's check it out!" Joey started to step through, but I grabbed his arm. "Aren't you forgetting something?" "We can clean up this mess later. Come on!" "I mean this," I held up the candle. "It's dark down there." "Oh, right," Joey grinned sheepishly and took the candle, then took my arm. "Ready?" "Ready," I finally grinned back at him, and we took our first few steps down the dark passage ...*********************** chapter fifteen (Lucia) After leaving the rest of the "downstairs group" (as Ben jokingly named us), Paul and I made our way to a room on the floor plan marked only as "miscellaneous." It took us at least ten minutes to find it. When we did, we found the huge wooden doors locked, and I felt like kicking them. Fortunately, Paul thought to try my key - and it worked. Even more fortunately, just as we were preparing to enter and explore the room by candlelight, the lights came back on again. I unlocked the door and Paul went in first to find the light switch. We found ourselves in a room full of what looked like furniture draped in sheets. "What is all this?" Paul tugged at a sheet covering something nearest him. It slipped off, revealing a broken chair. "My first guess is that this is a storage room. Maybe he just left things here that he didn't particularly want." I started making my way around, lifting the sheets and glancing under them. "Although, I always thought storage rooms were in the basements or attics of huge houses like this one." "I think it's been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that your great uncle was eccentric. I wouldn't be surprised now if the basement WAS the attic and the attic was the basement." Paul had discovered a trunk underneath one of the sheets. He opened it, glanced inside, and closed it again. "Do you think it's worth it to look more closely at any of this stuff, or should we just move on?" I shrugged. I wasn't terribly enthusiastic about spending a lot of time looking at broken down, dusty old furniture. "Well ... Uncle Marlon did say in his instructions that what was a treasure to him might not be a treasure to us. Maybe there's something here he valued." We were both quiet for a while as we checked each draped object briefly. When we found drawers or cabinets, we opened them, but they revealed nothing. "Lucy," Paul suddenly called me from across the room, where he'd been studying a clock. "Come look at this." I hurried across the room and joined him in front of the clock. "What?" There was nothing special about it that I could see except for the fact that it was definitely old. Paul kneeled down in front of it and pulled at a little knob at the bottom of the clock. It opened to reveal a tiny cabinet, which was empty. "There's nothing there," I said gently, trying not to sound too disappointed. "So it appears," Paul said thoughtfully. He began fiddling with the back panel of the cabinet. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I saw this in a very old movie once," he told me absently. He continued fiddling with the panel and then I heard a soft click. The panel swung open to reveal something hidden at the back. Paul reached in and, to my horror, pulled out an ancient-looking shotgun. "Yikes," I squeaked. "There's something you don't expect to see in a clock." It was vaguely familiar for some reason, but I couldn't put my finger on why. Paul managed to open it and check the barrels. "It's not loaded. It's ancient. It probably wouldn't fire even if it WAS loaded." "Well don't fiddle with it," I told him nervously. "I don't want you accidentally shooting yourself in the foot." "It would be difficult to shoot anything with an unloaded gun," Paul grinned at me and I gave him a look. "YOU know what I mean," I told him although I felt silly. I kissed the tip of his nose and patted his shoulder. As he went to return the gun to the cabinet in the clock, I stepped away to look at something and bumped into a sheet-covered object I hadn't noticed before. It fell over with a slam that startled both of us. Paul leaped away from the clock in surprise. We looked at each other and then burst out laughing. "For one awful second I thought I HAD shot myself," Paul gasped. "What IS this thing I've managed to knock over?" I started to pick it up but it was much heavier than I'd anticipated and awkwardly shaped. Paul reached down to help me. We balanced it against the clock and then pulled the sheet off, revealing a painted portrait of a beautiful woman. "Look at that!" Paul said excitedly. "Evi Stomar?" I burst out laughing. "Oh, baby, no. That's Gene Tierney." "Who?" "Gene Tierney. She was a very famous movie actress back in the 40's and 50's. I think her most famous film was a mystery called 'Laura.' I remember that movie - " I broke off as I remembered something. "Paul ... that clock was in the movie!" "This exact one?" "Maybe! I thought that clock was familiar! Now I remember why. In the movie, Laura is thought to have been murdered, with a gun like that, which turns out to have been hidden in that exact clock!" I ran my fingertips along the side of it. "Isn't that funny. I wonder where Uncle Marlon got these things. They look like the original props used in the movie." I looked around the room. "I wonder if everything in here was a movie prop?" "Do you remember every piece of furniture from that movie?" Paul asked skeptically. "No, of course not. I wonder if it's even significant." "Aside from what we've found here, nothing seems to be what we're looking for," Paul said. Almost automatically, he pulled the clock towards him so he could look behind it. Across the room we heard a noise and both of us turned to look. There, in one of the walls, a panel had slid open. "Where did that come from?" I gasped. "Paul, push the clock back." He did, and the panel slid closed again. Then he pulled it towards him again harder than before and the panel slid all the way open. "I don't believe it. We've found a secret passage!" We hurried over to it and looked inside. "It's got those candle-things - what do you call them? All along the walls," Paul pointed out. "Candelebra. I think that's the word you mean, anyway. Should we check it out?" "Of course," Paul was grinning from ear-to-ear. He offered me his arm. "Here goes ..."***************** chapter sixteen (Marie) Josh and I made our way down the stairs and down another long passage. After about five minutes of walking, we heard a soft lapping sound coming from directly in front of us. "That sounds like water," Josh said. "Do you think the rain is causing flooding?" I stopped in my tracks. "I guess it's a possibility." Josh started forward again and I followed him, trying not to show how nervous I was. Finally we reached the end of the passage and found ourselves in the strangest place I'd ever seen. "This is amazing," I whispered in awe. We were standing at the edge of what I could only describe as a lake, or even a small river. Each side was lit with the gold candle holders that also illuminated the passage behind us. The water continued as far down as we could see to our right and to our left, and there was a small boat tied to a post right in front of us. There was no walkway; the only way to go any further was to take the boat. "Do we get in the boat, or do we go back the way we came?" Josh asked me. "I wish I could say let's go back, but then I'd just hate myself for being a big chicken. Let's get in the boat." Josh got in the boat first and then helped me in after him. I've never cared for boats of any size, and all I could do was hope the water wasn't too deep in case I fell in. I've never been the greatest swimmer and the last thing I wanted was to end up having to be rescued - although, as I reflected on it, the idea of Josh giving me CPR was not without its merits. We started rowing slowly, although it was hardly necessary. As soon as we'd untied the boat, it started to float downstream immediately. After a minute we let the oars go and floated along, looking around us. Except for the candles, there was nothing on the stone walls. "No rats," Josh commented suddenly. "Pardon?" "No rats," he gestured around us. "You'd expect to see - I don't know, rats or dust or dirt or something down here. But it's all so clean." "That's fine with me," I said quickly and he grinned. "I'm just glad I'm not down here alone." "Me too. I never did like horror movies." "Weren't you in one?" Josh gave a little shrug and replied, "Yeah, but it gave me nightmares. For weeks afterwards I was convinced someone was out to get me. Of course, staying by myself in a cabin on a lake in a deserted area probably didn't help things any." I started to giggle and he smiled shyly. "Hey, look," I saw a light coming from up ahead. "We've found a place to stop." Josh used the oars to slow the boat down and as we pulled alongside I managed to get hold of the post. We tied the boat there, got out and found ourselves at the start of a long hallway, this one furnished with suits of armor and weapons all along the walls, which had a series of doors on each side. "Josh, look," I pointed at the nearest door, which was on our left. It had a small window with bars in it. We looked at the next door, which was on our right; it had the same small window. "Did your uncle have any reason to need a dungeon?" Josh asked. "If he did, I really don't want to know about it." I thought for a moment. "Does any of this seem weird to you?" Josh stared at me. "How about all of it?" I rolled my eyes. "I know ALL of it is weird. But doesn't it seem like there's some kind of theme here? I mean, we went from the 'Clue' dining room, to a secret passage in our room, down a weird underground river, and now we're in a dungeon." "So your uncle had strange decorating taste." "That too. But that's not the point." "What is the point?" "I wish I knew," I sighed. "Well, let's see what's behind door number one." Josh tried the door and it swung open easily. There was no light switch on the walls, although like the passage, the room was lit by candles. I stopped short when I got a closer look at the walls. There were chains hanging all around the small room. "Ooh. This really is a dungeon," I shivered. "I don't think I want to stay in here." Josh stepped further into the room. "Hold the door open while I take a quick look," he told me. I watched as he tugged at the chains, studied the corners and felt the walls. "Just wanted to be sure we weren't missing anything," he told me after a brief investigation. We checked each room, but they were all the same. I found myself getting more and more nervous. I couldn't imagine why Uncle Marlon would have wanted a dungeon in his cellar. I was reasonably sure I didn't want to know - unless of course the only reason it was there was as part of the game. We kept going until we came to a final set of doors, this time without windows. They were considerably larger than than the others, and they were locked. To the right of the double doors there was a wall, and to the left, another twist in the passageway - but this one was completely dark. "Time for the golden key, I guess," I announced and tried it in the lock. It clicked and I opened the doors. "What a surprise!" I chuckled as we went inside. We found ourselves inside what resembled a huge, medieval-style dining hall. There were large wooden tables and benches everywhere, and a set of stairs across the room, against the far wall. A huge old shield with a crest engraved in gold hung above a giant fireplace with a spit inside it. "What is this, 'Ivanhoe'?" Josh stared at the shield. "Wasn't that a movie, too? It was a really old one, if I remember correctly." "I read the book in school but I don't remember much about it, except for the fighting. You know, swordplay and jousting and all that." Josh went over to the fireplace and lightly traced the crest on the shield with one finger. We were standing there admiring it when the sound of the doors slamming behind us made us both spin around. I gasped but when I saw the masked figure in black standing behind us. "I don't think he was in 'Ivanhoe'," I heard my voice squeak. Josh grabbed my hand and pulled me with him as he moved away from the man in black, who followed us. "Who the hell are you and what do you want?" Josh demanded. "Ben?" I said with a nervous little laugh. "Is this your idea of a joke?" The man silently shook his head and then pointed a gun at us. I tightened my grip on Josh's hand as we both continued to back away slowly. "What do you want from us?" Josh asked again. The figure gestured towards the stairs with the gun. Josh glanced back up the stairs and then looked at me. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and we started easing our way backwards towards the stairs. Suddenly Josh bumped into one of the huge chairs seated at the head of one of the tables. The sound startled the man with the gun. Before he'd had time to think, Josh had picked up the chair and thrown it at our attacker. "Marie, run!" Josh pushed me hard past the man in black, who had dropped the gun, and somehow we made it to the doors, slamming them behind us. I went to lock them and realized to my horror that I'd dropped my key back in the medieval hall. But we had not time to go back for it. Josh grabbed my hand again and we ran back to where we'd left the boat - but it was gone. "Now what do we do?" he groaned. "We'll just have to find another way out of here," I started searching frantically for another escape route. We heard footsteps coming towards us and Josh gave me a push towards one of the dungeon rooms. "Hide in there, and I'll hide in one of these. He can't get both of us at the same time. Stay quiet - if he finds you, scream, and I'll get him from behind." He waited until I had shut the door and then I watched from the tiny window as he went inside the opposite room and closed the door. I crouched down, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure the man in black would hear it from a hundred feet away. I heard the footsteps slow down and stop somewhere nearby. I held my breath and wished with every ounce of strength I had in me that he would just give up and go back the way he'd come. I heard a door open and then close a moment later. Then another door opened and closed. Then another. He was checking all the rooms and slowly coming closer and closer. In another moment or two, he'd be opening the door to where I was hiding. I made a decision, closed my eyes and screwed up all my courage. Just as I was about to whip the door open and leap, shrieking like a maniac, into the path of the masked man, I heard the door across the hall open and close and then the footsteps stopped. I was almost positive he'd gone into the room where Josh was hiding. I waited for what seemed like ages for some sound to indicate what I should do, but heard nothing. Finally I made myself peek out through the barred window. I didn't see anything, so I opened the door a crack, and then more, and then I stepped out and looked up and down the hall. There was no one there. I tiptoed over to the room where Josh had been hiding. Trying to remember to keep breathing, I opened the door and whispered, "Josh?" But the room was empty. I felt my heart sputter, stop, and then kickstart itself again. The man in black had Josh - I was sure of it. I backed out of the room and backed into something soft. "Josh!" I whirled around and found myself face to face with the man in black.******************** chapter seventeen (Lucia) After finding a secret door in the "miscellaneous" - or as I had come to think of it, the "Laura" room - Paul and I made our way down a long, dimly lit tunnel. We eventually came to a point where the tunnel diverged into two different passageways. From where we stood, both seemed to go on quite a distance. "Eenie, meanie, minie, moe ..." Paul began and I laughed. "That's about right. I don't see any difference between passage number one and passage number two so shall we flip a coin or what?" "Let's just go left," Paul suggested and started down the passage on our left. "Why left?" I asked. "I don't know. I think I'd ordinarily go right. Left just feels more interesting." "You're a very strange man," I told him and followed him until we came to a door. "Is it locked?" Paul turned the huge, ornate handle and the door swung open easily. "My guess is, no." We went inside and stopped short. There was someone already inside. By the dim light from the hallway I could just make out shadowy figures all around the room. "Who is that?" I said, wishing my voice sounded stronger. There was no answer. "Where on earth is the light switch?" Paul and I felt around the walls but found nothing. "This is freaking me out," I said, heading back towards the door. "Why don't we - " Before I could finish suggesting that we go back into the hallway and get a candle, the lights came blazing on. We stayed where we were, too surprised to move. "I see dead people," Paul finally breathed. "Lots and lots of dead people ... famous dead people ..." The room was full of what looked like extraordinarily realistic- looking statues of famous actors and actresses. From across the room I recognized Robert DeNiro and Rita Hayworth. On my left was Cary Grant, and next to Paul there was a lifesize replica of Marilyn Monroe. I went over to Cary Grant and touched his cheek carefully. "They're wax!" I discovered with relief. "Uncle Marlon had his very own wax museum!" "Kind of like 'The House of Wax.'" Paul was studying Marilyn Monroe a little too closely for my taste. "That was a movie, too, just like 'Laura' - do you think it's a coincidence?" "I think you're on to something," I told him with a smile. "Whatever the answer to this game is, movies definitely have something to do with it." "Happy to help," Paul said proudly. "I - hey!" He suddenly stalked across the room and planted himself in front of a model of Jar Jar Binks - the unfortunate "Star Wars: Episode One" character I always referred to as "George Lucas's Mistake." "Why you ... you ..." Paul was at a loss for words. "Go ahead and say it, honey. I know you're dying to." I watched with amusement as Paul attempted to throttle the wax figure. "Die, Jar Jar! Die!" he cried and then he let go and we both laughed. "Get some frustration out?" I asked him teasingly. "A bit. I feel better." Paul strode jauntily back across the room. "Do we need to look at anything more closely or what?" "There doesn't seem to be anything else here except for wax figures. Hmm ... maybe they all have something in common." I studied each waxen face thoughtfully. "They're all dead?" Paul asked. "Robert DeNiro is hardly dead," I reminded him. "And I understand Jar Jar will be back in 'Episode Two'." "The world is a sick place." Paul crossed his arms over his chest and tried to think. "How about this - they're all actors. They're all famous. They're all famous for ... acting," he finally finished lamely. "I wonder if there's some connection we're not seeing. I mean, they certainly didn't all work together. And looking around, I don't think this is going to be one of those things where one worked with another who worked with the next one and so forth." "You mean like the Kevin Bacon game." "Yeah, something like that." I had never really understood the Kevin Bacon-Six Degrees of Separation game, but I had a vague idea of what he meant. "Kevin Bacon is definitely not in here, though." "You know, in the movie 'The House of Wax' Vincent Price played a madman who was going around making statues out of humans by dipping them in wax," Paul announced. "What does that have to do with anything?" I asked him after a brief pause. "Are you accusing my uncle of going around dipping famous people in wax?" "No ..." Paul had a foolish look on his face. "I was just thinking aloud." "Paul, Vincent Price was in 'Laura' too!" I bounced on my toes with excitement. "I wonder if that might be the link?" "You mean Vincent Price killed Evi Stomar?" Paul was staring at me. "I thought he was dead, too." "No, no - well, I don't know. Evi Stomar is, as far as we know, a wax dummy - a prop in Uncle Marlon's game, a sort of tangible metaphor for something or someone else. I'm just wondering if Vincent Price, or a character he played, is a clue in the game." "Maybe. Or maybe your uncle really was a few beans short of a bushel and he thought he WAS Vincent Price. I may not know much about movies, but one thing I know is that Vincent Price did a lot horror films, playing mostly insane characters who went around stalking beautiful women," Paul said with a sly grin. "Maybe he lured you all to this house, so he could make you all a permanent part of his little 'museum'." I stared at him for a moment before replying, "I'm sorry, but tell me again - who here is a few beans short of a bushel?" "Hey baby, all I'm saying is, I'll protect you from any madmen who want to dip you in wax or shoot you, or uh ... what else?" "Please don't continue. I'm starting to think I'm with the only madman here." I gave him a little shove and he took a playful step towards me. "Oh, really?" Paul let out a wicked laugh. "Hmm - she's on to me! I guess this is the part where I reveal my evil plan. I'm adding you and your cousins to my harem so I can have hundreds of blonde kids just like me and we'll take over the world - all with the help of a a bald cat." He proceeded to do his best imitation of 'Dr. Evil.' "I had a normal childhood, really ..." "You'll never take me alive. Jar Jar will save me!" I shrieked and dived behind the statue. "Jar Jar be damned - you're mine!" Paul charged after me. Shrieking with laughter, I just managed to evade his grasp. I dodged behind Rita Hayworth and shoved Humphrey Bogart in his way before he managed to corner me behind Bela Lugosi and Faye Dunaway. Paul put an arm around Bela Lugosi and whispered, "Hey, buddy, I think I've got her where I want her. Any tips?" He pretended to listen for a moment while I giggled hysterically. Then he nodded and patted the dummy's shoulder. "Thanks. I'll try it." His blue eyes locked on to mine and he came closer. I stopped giggling and tried to get my breath. Before I could contain myself he said, "Look into my eyes," in the silliest accent I had ever heard. I collapsed laughing as he pretended to sit on top of me and then sat down next to me, putting both arms around me in a tight embrace. "You are completely in my power," he said in the same silly voice and then he took my face in his hands. "C'mere, you." I relaxed into him as he kissed me long and gently. When he released me I rested my head on his shoulder. "We're not getting much accomplished here," I finally said ruefully. "I don't really care, Lucy," he answered softly. "This has been weird but fun. Who cares about a treasure? We're here, we're together, we're happy and I love you. Besides, I'm exhausted. I would really like to go back to the room and go to sleep. Let the others find the treasure." "I wouldn't mind that myself, but it doesn't seem fair, not with everyone else looking. They're my family. I owe it to them to help." "Yeah, you're right." Paul stared off into space. "I guess we should get moving." He stood and helped me up. We headed back to the door. Paul stopped just before we left, turned, and pointed at Jar Jar. "I'll be back," he told the dummy. I was too tired to do more than chuckle as we closed the door behind us. We headed back to where the two tunnels had separated. "Should we try the other tunnel?" I asked him. "I guess we should. Let's go ..."******************* chapter eighteen (Marie) We've all read those mystery novels or seen the horror movies where, after a long and often ridiculous chase, the heroine finally encounters the villain. Depending on which one you're watching, she either backs away in horror, flailing helplessly, or else she faints and he captures her - or something like that, anyway. Believe it or not, all those scenarios went through my mind as I stood face to face with the masked man in black. There was a long pause as I wondered what he was going to do - shoot me, choroform me, or march me off at gunpoint to wherever he was holding Josh. Then I wondered what I was going to do. Should I demand to know what he'd done to Josh? Should I scream? Should I faint? Could I faint? I had never done it before, and certainly I had never tried to faint on purpose. Somehow it struck me as being ridiculous; I had the distinct feeling that if I DID faint, Jane and the rest of my cousins would never forgive me. The women in our family just aren't the fainting kind. While I was standing there like an idiot and trying to think, the man in black broke the spell by grabbing my wrist. Suddenly all my self-defense training came flooding back to me, and I wasn't scared anymore, I was just mad. After all, this jerk had threatened us with a gun, had probably succeeded in kidnapping poor Josh - who was just an innocent bystander in this mess Uncle Marlon had created - and now he had the nerve to touch me! I had learned in one of my self-defense classes that the first thing to do was to take a deep breath and yell "NO!" as loudly as I could. Unfortunately I was so irritated and flustered I jumbled everything I was thinking and it came out, "BLORGH!" The man in black was clearly taken aback by this statement. I tried again. "EYAAGH!" This was not going well at all. "Oh hell," I gave up and let loose with a front kick that sent him staggering backwards. "Where's Josh?! You better tell me what you did with him, because he's gorgeous and sweet and I like him and I'm not staying single forever! You think you and your gun are scary? Well that's NOTHING compared to a twenty-five-year-old woman who hasn't had so much as a decent date in two years!" I had him cornered against the wall but he whipped out the gun. "Okay, so in all fairness, you do have a slight edge," I had to admit. "If you want to see your boyfriend alive again you'll do exactly as I say without making a sound," the man hissed in a voice that sounded vaguely familiar. "He's not my boyfriend!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. "Okay, well, to be honest, I wouldn't mind if he were, but really we just met a short time ago and even if I haven't had a date lately, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that kind of committment yet -" I broke off as I realized the man in black was just staring at me. "You don't really care, right?" I laughed nervously. I took a deep breath and decided to try another tactic. "Please, don't hurt him. You can take anything you want from this house, but just don't hurt anybody." "Move," he took my arm and shoved the gun into my side. We proceeded back down the hallway in silence. We had just reached the double doors when a noise from the unlit hallway got our attention. The man in black was momentarily distracted and I seized my opportunity. I reared back and wrenched myself out of his grasp, then let loose with a side kick that hit him hard in the ribs. Grabbing his head, I smacked it into my knee, and then flipped him on his back. Without thinking further, I charged into the medieval dining room, slamming the doors behind me, and headed straight for the stairs without taking a breath or looking back. It wasn't until I'd reached the top of the stairs and found myself facing two passages that I realized I should have grabbed the gun and found out who the attacker was and what part he was playing in Uncle Marlon's game. I didn't have time to chew myself out for long. I chose the passage on my right and took off, running all the way. My chest hurt and I couldn't get my breath but I figured I'd have plenty of time to collapse and have a heart attack later. I finally reached another flight of stairs and found myself face to face with what looked like a hidden door, plus two more passageways to choose from. I felt around for some kind of way through the door, but found nothing. When I heard someone coming somewhere behind me, I started pounding on the panel as hard as I could, hoping someone on the other side could hear me ...****************** chapter nineteen (Dee) After finding a secret passage in the kitchen, Joey and I charged headlong into it to find out where it might lead us. I was greatly relieved that he'd left the butter knife behind. It didn't take us long to come to two doors and two passageways, one of which was unlit and the other of which was brightly lit. We decided to head down the brightly lit corridor first. A few minutes later found us in front of another set of doors. There was no where else to go except back the way we came, so we decided to go inside. My key unlocked the doors without any trouble at all. After feeling around a bit, Joey found a switch and we were able to examine our surroundings. I was almost sorry we had turned on the lights. There was a huge, ancient organ in one corner of the room. The walls were hung with blood-red curtains with gold trim. A white lace ball gown was draped over a red velvet chair, and a white mask lay beside it. A long black cape lay on a matching velvet love seat opposite. "Wow," I whispered. "This is bizarre." "Your uncle was into some pretty weird stuff," Joey grinned. "Please," I groaned. "I don't want to waste brain cells thinking about it." "You know what this reminds me of?" Joey held up the mask. "'Phantom of the Opera'." "You're right," I said, slowly starting to get excited. "This IS like 'Phantom.' I wonder if this is a clue of some kind? This is kind of like the room where the Phantom held Christine prisoner." "Maybe Evi Stomar was held prisoner in here?" Joey asked. "I don't think so. The message said, 'Who killed Evi Stomar', not 'Where is Evi Stomar' or 'Who kidnapped Evi Stomar'." I checked the one lone door opposite the doors we'd entered. The only thing inside was a small box with a key in the lock. "Joey, I think I found something!" I sat down on the love seat and opened the box as Joey hovered over me. Inside the box I found two more golden keys and a folded piece of paper. I opened the paper and read it aloud. "Congratulations! You've found the only obvious clue in the whole game. Now you just need to figure out where these two keys fit. But you'll need your cousins to help you. Don't be greedy and there'll be enough treasure for everyone. Love, Uncle Marlon." I looked up at Joey delightedly. "We found it! We found what we need to solve the mystery!" Joey didn't look excited. "What's wrong?" I asked him. "Maybe I'm denser than we thought - but I don't see how that solves the mystery. We still don't know how these keys fit in with everything else." "Yeah, but it's a start," I insisted. "Now that we've got these, we should go try to find everyone else and figure out where to go from there." I put the box back in the closet and gave one key to Joey, putting one in my pocket. "Put that away for now for safekeeping." We turned out the light and left the room, intent on finding my cousins. We headed back down the hall and found ourselves in front of the double doors we'd passed before. "Should we go in here and take a look?" Joey asked. "Maybe later. Let's just find the others right now. We can find our way back, right?" "Yeah, I think so." I stopped in front of the unlit passageway. "I wonder, though, what's down here?" "We can check it out," Joey told me. "Well..." I was thinking it over when I heard a scream coming from somewhere down the dark hall. It was a woman's voice. "Someone's in trouble!" I started to rush down the hall and then realized we needed lighting of some kind. Joey grabbed a candle from one of the holders and together we raced towards the noise...*************** chapter twenty (Jane) "Whew." I looked up at my husband. "What's that, Ben?" "I'm just saying. Whew." He ran his fingers through his thick brown hair. "Your uncle made some strange investments." We had spent the last hour going through the papers we'd found in Uncle Marlon's desk. While there was, as Ben had said, some evidence of rather odd investments, there was nothing that could have been construed as a clue of any kind as to where Uncle Marlon's hidden treasure might be. I wondered idly if any of the others had had more success. "Do you think maybe this whole thing was a hoax of some kind?" Ben asked me. "Maybe Uncle Marlon was just a practical joker, and he wanted to play one grand, final joke before heading off to ... wherever he is now." "Hollywood Hills Cemetery," I told him. "That's where he is and I'm not discussing that point again." Ben shrugged. "I'm not trying to get into a philosophical argument. I just meant that maybe this was his way of making sure his relatives remembered him after he was gone, you know?" "Well, I suppose it's not a terrible way to spend a night. It's certainly a story to tell our kids, should we have any." "I guess." Ben stood up and stretched. "I noticed a bathroom across the hall. I'll be right back." He left the room and I continued shuffling through papers until I found one that caught my eye. It was a detailed legal document, too complex for me to make absolute sense of it, but from what I could gather, shortly before his death Uncle Marlon had spent a great deal of money at a recent auction of movie props and memorabilia. "Poor Uncle Marlon," I said aloud, although I was alone in the room. "He must have been quite a movie buff." I thought about that for a moment. Uncle Marlon was more than just a movie buff. After all, he'd had his dining room designed to match the one in the movie "Clue", his library consisted of tons of movie-related books, he'd married an actress - even his name was reminiscent of a famous Hollywood idol. I was beginning to think that Uncle Marlon's game and his obsession with movies were directly tied in to each other. It dawned on me that Ben had been gone for a while. I got up and went into the hallway. "Ben?" The study door closed behind me as I walked over and knocked on the bathroom door. "Ben, are you okay?" I found the door unlocked and opened it slightly. It was empty. "Huh," I said aloud. "Where did he go off to?" Somewhere off in the great hall I heard a clock chime. It was three o'clock in the morning, and I was really starting to feel the lack of sleep. I decided to freshen up a bit and felt decidedly better afterwards. I headed back to the library and opened the door only to find the light off - a strange thing, since I was sure I had left the light on. "Ben, are you in here?" I called. I heard a soft sound and turned on the light. I thought I saw someone sitting in a chair facing the window. I knew for a fact that that chair hadn't been facing the window before. "Ben, stop fooling around and answer me," I snapped. "This is not funny." I stalked over to the chair and swung it around. It wasn't Ben sitting in the chair, but Josh. His hands and feet were bound with duct tape and another piece of duct tape covered his mouth. He looked exhausted, scared and miserable. I almost sat on him in surprise. "Good lord, Josh, what are you doing? Is this Marie's idea of a first date?" The look on his face told me plainly that he was not amused. "Oh, come on. I thought that was funny," I told him. Josh made a muffled sound and then both of us turned as the library door opened. It was Ben. He walked in, started to say something, saw Josh, and stopped. "Jane! What the hell! I leave the room for five minutes and the first thing you do is go tie up one of my friends?" "It wasn't me, I swear. I found him like this," I said innocently. "Tell him, Josh." Josh made a sound that sound remarkably like a snarl. "I think he just insulted me, Ben," I put both hands on my hips. "I demand that you defend my honor." "If this is some kind of kinky attempt to seduce my wife, you're a dead man sitting," Ben told Josh. From the sounds Josh made in reply I had the feeling that his response was neither polite nor repeatable. "You better have a damn good excuse for sitting around tied up - excuse me, taped up - with Jane in the room," Ben told him and ripped the tape off his mouth. "OW," Josh yelped. "NOW I'm sorry I came!" "How long have you been waiting to say that?" I asked him as I used a pair of scissors from Uncle Marlon's desk to cut him free. "Since about the point when a masked weirdo held me at gun point, whacked me over the head, and then I woke up here, tied to a chair and gagged. I haven't had such a fantastic time since I filmed the pilot episode of 'Cracker.'" Josh stood up, rubbing the back of his head and glowering at us irritably. "Where's Marie?" I asked. "That's another thing," Josh said, his eyes darkening. "I don't know. We were hiding in separate places when the guy with the gun found me. He knocked me out. I don't know what happened to her and I've been worried sick about it but I couldn't get myself free to try and find her." I took a deep breath and controlled the urge to throttle him. "Let me be sure I've got this straight. A masked man attacked you and Marie at gun point. You hid, he found you, and you woke up here. Now you don't know where Marie is?" "I figured if we hid in separate places, he couldn't get both of us. I'd hoped to get him from behind - but instead he got me," Josh's explained ruefully. "Honestly, Jane, I thought it was safer for her. If we hadn't hidden in separate rooms, we both would have ended up in here." I was about to make a sharp observation but he looked so miserable that I held my tongue and gave up the idea of throttling him. "How long have you been here?" Ben asked. "I'm not sure. I did manage to look at my watch when I woke up." He held it up and pressed a button, causing the face of the watch to light up. "I woke up about half an hour ago." "You can't have been here for half an hour. Ben and I have been here for at least an hour going through Uncle Marlon's papers. Nobody could have come in or out without us seeing them." I turned to the desk. It was completely bare. "Ben - all the papers are gone!" "I don't get it." Ben looked completely confused. "First I leave to go to the bathroom. When I come back, you're gone. I check the halls looking for you, I come back here again, you're here with Josh. What's going on?" "When did you come back?" I asked him. "You were gone forever and I was right here. I finally went looking for you and didn't find you. I came back here, the light was off, I turned it on, I found Josh." "I'm so confused," Ben groaned. "What the heck is going on here?" "'Murder by Death,'" Josh announced. "What?" Ben and I both turned to stare at him. "'Murder by Death,'" Josh repeated. "Didn't you ever see it? It's a classic. A bunch of detectives - all parodies of famous movie detectives like Charlie Chan, Miss Marple, Sam Spade - are called to a creepy old house to solve the 'mystery of the century' and win a million dollars. It's a comedy." "I knew this whole thing had something to do with Uncle Marlon's movie obsession!" I crowed. "So he's got us living out the plot of 'Murder by Death'?" "I'm not sure about that. But I do remember a scene where the characters discover that there are two rooms that are identical and they keep switching around. It was actually a pretty funny scene." "Ben, do you think -" I left my sentence unfinished. "Let's find out." Ben led the way out of the room. He snapped off the light and we closed the door behind us. We waited a beat and then opened the door again. The lights were on and everything was exactly as we'd left it the first time around, before Ben had left. Papers were everywhere and the fire Ben had started in the fireplace was still burning in the grate. "That's incredible," I said. "Two identical rooms! I wonder how they switch!" "That explains how the man in black managed to get Josh in here without us seeing him," Ben concluded. "But it doesn't solve the question of what happened to Marie." Suddenly real worry hit me. "Ben, we have to find her." "Okay. Josh, we need to retrace your steps. We'll find her one way or another." We left the library and headed upstairs behind Josh to Marie's room ...***************** chapter twenty-one (Dee) The dark passage led to another lighted passageway. We stopped short as a masked figure in black came towards us holding a gun. "Joey, look out!" I yelped. The masked figure raised the gun and Joey shoved me out of the way and into the wall. I somehow managed to ricochet back again and knocked him into a suit of armor. For whatever reason - although it's possible that our lack of coordination intimidated him - the man in black didn't fire the gun. Instead, he slowly backed away and then ran down the hall, going into one of the rooms and slamming the door behind him. We ran after him and opened the door, only to find the room empty. "We'll figure out what that was about later," Joey told me. "Let's find out where that scream came from." We went back to the doors the masked man had exited and went inside. We found ourselves in what looked like a medieval dining hall. "What on earth!" I exclaimed. "I feel like Alice through the looking glass!" "Who?" Joey looked lost. "Never mind." We heard noises coming from somewhere in the distance. There was a flight of stairs against one wall, and we headed towards them. Before we reached the bottom, a frantic- looking Marie appeared at the top. "Dee!" she cried and raced down the stairs towards me. "Marie! What happened to you?" "Did you see a masked man with a gun?" she cried. "Yeah - but he got away," Joey patted her shoulder reassuringly. "He's gone. I'm not sure how, but he's gone." "I think he kidnapped Josh," Marie was gasping for air. "Sweet bird of paradise! He assaulted us and Josh disappeared and I got away and I couldn't get through the wall and I can't find a way out of here! Oh, my sainted aunt, I am exhausted," she concluded with a groan. Joey looked at me strangely and started to say something, but I just shook my head at him and he closed his mouth. He had no idea what was going on, but I knew my cousin tended to be unusually creative whenever she was overtired or overexcited. "Come with us. We'll find the others and then we'll find Josh." I took her arm and together the three of us headed quickly back the way we came, towards the kitchen ...***************** chapter twenty-two (Lucia) "It's time I got back, time I got back, time I got back to the good life ..." Paul was singing an old Weezer song as we headed towards the stairs to find the rest of the group. He reached back to where I was lagging behind him, grabbed my hand and swung me around in front of him. "Dance with me," he demanded playfully. The two of us started the song again at the top of our lungs. He was swinging me around and I started giggling. I was just bellowing the words, "shakin' booty," when I slammed into something wearing jeans. "Oops," Paul grinned as I turned and found myself facing an irritable-looking Ben. "Hey, we were just coming to look for you guys," I quickly moved away from him. "We heard you coming," Ben said tiredly. "We've got a problem." "What's up?" "Marie is missing. She and Josh were attacked by a masked guy with a gun in a passageway somewhere under the house. The guy knocked Josh out and we found him, but we're not sure what happened to Marie," Jane said with an edge in her voice. I looked at Paul, who looked incredulous. "Maybe that's just part of the game," he suggested. "Whether or not it is, we're not taking any chances. We think we should round everybody up and make sure we're all okay, and then we need to decide what to do about our armed friend." "Jane, she'll be all right," I said it more to reassure myself than anything. "I know. I'll just feel better when we're all together again." As we all headed back downstairs I noticed a wicked grin spreading across Jane's face. "So you two were practicing a little dance number, huh?" "We were just amusing ourselves," Paul said happily. "I see, " Jane lifted an eyebrow. "That reminds me, Josh, did Marie happen to mention to you that she does a wicked Shakira imitation?" "It didn't come up in conversation," Josh ducked his head. "Well when we find her, ask her to do her Shakira imitation for you. She's taken up belly dancing, did I tell you guys that?" Jane looked back at me and Paul. "I hadn't heard," I studied Jane's face to see if she was kidding. If she was only saying that to loosen us up and tease Josh, it was working. Josh's face was, not for the first time that night, bright red, and the thought of Marie wearing long blonde extensions and tight leather pants - two things our Marie wouldn't be caught dead wearing - had me on the verge of hysterics. "Where should we go from here?" Paul asked as we reached the main hall. A sudden crash from the direction of the dining room made an answer unnecessary. "I guess that answers our question," Josh said as we warily made our way towards the noise ...************* chapter 23 (Marie) Joey and Dee led the way back to the kitchen. Just as we were climbing over a pile of junk blocking part of the entrance, the lights - as usual, very inopportunely - went out. Of course, chaos ensued. I tripped over something and landed on something else that began shrieking in a familiar voice that sounded suspiciously like Skylar's. I heard various forms of swearing, and the sounds of things breaking; before I was entirely sure what had happened the lights came back on and I found myself staring up at the underside of the kitchen table, my legs partially entangled with Skylar's. Joey was sitting on Skylar's stomach, and Lance had a bucket on his foot; Dee was trapped in a heap of paint cans and old rags, and Carla was sprawled over a chair. Only Jeff had somehow escaped injury. He was standing by the door, gasping for breath. "What on earth was - " he started to ask, but got no further. The kitchen door suddenly slammed open, whacking him in the face as Ben and Jane came barreling into the kitchen. "What happened in here? Are you guys okay?" Jane cried before tripping over Dee and landing on me. "Usually that's what I do," Ben said thoughtfully as he stood in the doorway and observed the situation. "What's that?" Carla asked as she stood up. "Oh, trip over something and break something else. At least this time it wasn't me." Suddenly I realized Josh was in the room with us, standing behind Ben and Jane. "Josh!" I cried as loudly as I could manage with Jane still sitting on me. "You're okay!" I was unreasonably delighted to see a look of relief on his face. "So are you," he came over to get Jane off of me and then help me up. "GET OFF ME," Skylar snapped at Joey. "You're cutting off my air supply!" Lance and Dee managed to extricate themselves from their respective entanglements and soon we were all standing around, dusting ourselves off. Carla was holding ice to Jeff's nose, which had been bruised but fortunately not broken when Ben had slammed the kitchen door into it. After taking a headcount, Jane visibly relaxed. "Well, we're all here, and we're all more or less in once piece." "We're only missing the masked guy in black," Josh said. "We saw him too!" Dee cried. "Marie said he kidnapped you!" "Oh, he didn't really kidnap Josh - he just tied him to a chair," Jane filled in helpfully, much to Josh's annoyance. "Why'd you let him tie you to a chair?" Paul asked. "I didn't let him tie me to a chair," Josh answered indignantly. "Then how'd you end up tied to a chair?" "Actually, he was taped to the chair," Ben corrected Paul. "You let yourself get taped to a chair?" Jeff said disbelievingly. "I didn't let myself get taped to anything," Josh snarled. "He knocked me out. It's not like I was given a choice!" "Excuse me," I pushed my way in front of Josh protectively. I wasn't sure what the whole chair business was about, but I figured I'd find out later. "The guy had a gun, okay? It was pretty scary!" "THANK you!" Josh threw up his hands in irritation. "How'd YOU get away from him?" Lance asked me. "While he was busy taping Josh to a chair?" "This - You - I-" Josh began spluttering. "ACTUALLY," I made sure I had everyone's attention before going on, "Josh had the brilliant idea that we should hide in separate places, and if the guy found me first Josh could get him from behind." "But the guy found Josh first. How come YOU didn't get him from behind?" Jeff asked. I thought about that for a moment. "I guess because I didn't hear anything. When I finally felt safe enough to come out, I couldn't find Josh anywhere." "How was Josh supposed to know you were in trouble?" Ben asked. "I was supposed to scream." "So," Ben turned to Josh, "The plan should have worked the opposite way, too. How come YOU didn't scream?" Josh's mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. "I see," Ben nodded wisely. "Wait a minute," Jane broke in without giving Josh a chance to retort. "Marie, how did you finally get away from the man in black?" "Well, he just sort of reappeared behind me while I was trying to figure out what had happened. He said that if I didn't come quietly he'd hurt Josh, except that some noise from one of the tunnels surprised him and gave me the chance to fight him off." "Marie," Lucia said with a look of almost maternal pride, "did you use what you learned in kickboxing class?" "Actually I did," I affirmed proudly. My cousins shoved their guys out of the way and we had a group hug. "Girl, I am so proud of you," Lucia said happily. "Seriously. We are one butt-kicking family," Jane hugged me again. "It's too bad you didn't stay with Josh. You could've protected him," Carla said. I saw the look on Josh's face and pulled away from the others. "Next time I hope he shoots me," Josh said gloomily. "You guys are being so unfair," I told my cousins. "I'm just relieved that we're all okay." "This is true. Okay, we're sorry we teased you, Josh," Jane gave him a friendly hug. "Now that we're through doing that, we need a new plan of action. First we need to figure out what we've learned - and then we need to figure out what to do about this armed fiend who runs around waving guns, grabbing young women and taping their cute, male, love objects to chairs." "JANE!" I shrieked before I could stop myself. "Oh, come on," Jane said with an evil smile. "I saw the look on your face when you first got in the car yesterday. As if I didn't know who you were talking about when you mentioned that guy at my party!" I saw Lucia give Paul a sudden poke and he stood up. "Let's go into the library and figure out what we're doing next," he announced and everyone started to file out of the kitchen. "I would rather die here. I think I'll just wait for the masked man to show up again," I wailed, my face in my hands. "Me too," Josh muttered. "Oh, stop being silly, you two. Come to the library. You can have your makeout session later," Jane called back. I let out a squeal of rage and tore after her as she started running ...**********