I really hate it when Yuki hugs me.

I know you're all staring at the screen, rereading the first sentence I typed again and again. But I really have to be blunt; I do not want Yuki to hug after he has locked himself up in that study of his for five consecutive days.

Look, I love Yuki with all my heart and I like it when he hugs me. But, there are really times when I just do not want him to touch me! Time when I most definitely not want to even sit beside me, or times where that cell room of his is just too much to bear for my pour aching soul to take.

I'll get this one fact clear and out, Eiri Yuki (yes, the romance writer extraordinaire) has body odor.

I know it's hard to believe, but it so true!

Imagine this; my blond lover always locks himself up in a room everything closed. No windows to let at least a good cool breeze sweep by. No air condition to keep my lover's skin from spitting out sweat- he doesn't even have a fan! When I mean lock himself up, I mean, really lock himself up.

At least he didn't go barricading his door and windows with locks and stuff.

And you know how hot that is- no, not that hot, the other hot- the one that means very warm. Especially in summer, it's warmer than a dessert even with the air conditioning on! The heat affects everyone and that of course includes Yuki.

Now, Yuki would come out of his study of so sexy and all with the sweat dripping down his face. His hair clinging to the skins of his scalp, his shirt half way open, and one of his manuscripts as a moment's substitute for the lack of a fan.

The sweat is sexy.

(How can you say no to Yuki when he is sweating sexily?)

Yet, he somehow developed body odor.

And that, my dear friends, is really a major turn off.

Need I mention that Yuki doesn't usually take a bath? He's a sloth, and besides I know you all know how our house looks like. There is nothing there to clean, so there isn't much of a need for anyone to pick up a broom stick and sweep the floor.

(I also learned earlier when living with, to NOT mess the house. Nobody likes to see a very mad Yuki)

You have all seen me in that pose before.

Me, Shindou Shuichi, in the arms of uber hot novelist, Yuki Eiri, dying in his grasp my heart melting into an icky sticky substance called love. There are times when I do dissolve into the so called goo, but there are times when I just die because of the… of the… you know.

Yuki would sometimes splash in some of his manly colognes to drown the stench, but…

It gets worse by the minute, every time that new 'scent' of his works up… I can't say anything. I know I should at least mention it to him, but… he is so scary when you give him bad news.

Especially bad news concerning about certain personal issues…

I really love Yuki with all my heart, I really do. You know how I would do anything for him- the whole 'I'll give an arm and a leg' package. But I can't take it!

I really hate it when Yuki hugs me.

(SPACE HERE)

A/N: Do not ask me where this came from... Just don't. Remember... It's a crack fic.