Because Stalking is Romantic
Yukiko woke up to the prickly, sticky sensation of being stared at. And she would know, considering how her beauty seemed to attract males in droves – particularly balding old men. She rubbed her eye sleepily, scanned across the room in a sweeping glance before attributing it to paranoia. Crazy Kidnapper with Chloroform aside, no one would be crazy enough to sneak into her room at night just to stare at her sleeping. Maybe she should stop letting Chie talk her into watching horror movies.
She prepared to curl up into her warm, comfortable blanket again when something in the corner moved. Then:
"HOLY FU-" And that was the closest Amagi Yukiko had came to swearing in her life. Ever. She was a nice girl. "So- Souji-kun. What. What. What the. Why are. What the hell." Well, even nice girls would slip when they find a strange man in their room. Just staring. Staring. Staring.
Suppressing an involuntary shudder, Yukiko groped around for her custom made blade-rimmed steel fan.
"Calm down, Yukiko." Souji stepped forward towards her, but stopped when he found himself staring at the edge of a very, very sharp fan. He spread his hands open to signal that he was totally harmless. "I know it sounds weird but. I have no strange intentions. I was just- watching you sleep. Yeah." His eyes tilted upwards to search for the right phrase. "Because, um. I feel protective and I love you." It seemed to be the wrong words because he felt the fan hovering closer towards his carotid artery.
"How- how long have you been. Been. Staring at me?"
"Um." He gulped. "Three hours? But I never did anything. I swear."
Somehow Yukiko felt that it would be less creepy if he actually did something. "This is- the first time, right?"
"Uh. No. The seventh? Maybe the eighth?"
When Yukiko shrieked wordlessly and threatened to set him on fire, Souji decided it was the time to scramble out of her window and break the national record for the one hundred meter dash.
And the next day, when Dojima had looked at him strangely and told him Yukiko had filed a restraining order, was when Souji realized that he should never, ever, ever trust books with sparkly vampires again. Or Yosuke and his literary taste, for that matter.
Or the reviews of thousands of gushing fan girls over the internet, he thought before stalking out to wash the gel off his hair and maybe cement Yosuke and push him into the Samegawa river.
End.
And this is where I find the nearest bomb-shelter and hide from rabid Twilight fangirls, amirite?