He didn't know when it happened. Maybe it was just meant to happen after being with someone as amazing as her for the best part of a century. Maybe it was because they had been dodging the little feelings for such a long time, cheating fate. And maybe if he had not repressed the smaller feelings they wouldn't have blown out into all out love, but they did and there was nothing he could do about it. For the first time in his life, Urahara Kisuke felt helpless, a feeling he detested over all others. How could he have let himself bind her to him like that? He was such an idiot. He knew for a fact that Yoruichi would never abandon him, she would follow him to hell and back if he went there, it was just her way. And now, all he could do was pray that she backs down. But goddammit how was he to survive without the constancy that was her? Not to say in any way that she was constant; responsible, maybe and focused, definitely. What ever she had become was all because of natural talent and innate skill that she had but to polish with just one stroke of minimal effort. She never ceased to amaze him, even though most people commented that he was exactly the same as her. She had never put him on a pedestal even though his brilliance was occasionally blinding, and maybe that was why he loved her. Dammit, he LOVED her.
Love was the one word that was spoken only for one person in a man's entire life, and since he had lived for well over 500 years, it meant a lot to say that he loved her. He loved her with a singleness of mind and body and heart so that he could barely think about anything but her. Her safety, her happiness, the mischievous look that danced in her eyes. And oh, her eyes. Like liquefied topaz, full of rich vibrancy that glinted and sparkled and teased with just an insinuation of things-that-you-could-have-but-I-won't-give-them. And her mouth…
A sudden flash of blue, coupled with stunned grunts from the two guards heralded her arrival. Jerked from his reminiscing he turned to see the object of his affection fling open the door and stomp in to throw her arms around him was enough to knock all thoughts of pushing her away out of his mind to say the least. It didn't help that she was wearing nothing but a haori she had 'borrowed' off one of the guards. She must have forgotten to bring clothes along when she transformed. He didn't mean for anything to happen, he certainly didn't invite it, but the next thing he knew, she was in his arms mouth slanting over his in a passionate kiss that threatened to drive all thought away.
She felt him stiffen, unresponsive in her arms and realized what he was doing. "Kisuke, I will follow you, whether you are my lover or not. Because before I fell in love with you, you were the best friend I had ever had. And you still are. There is no way and nothing that you can say or do to keep me from following you. So don't even try to give me any crap about whatever lie you were going to tell me. I like to think that I know you too well not to be able to see through your rather miserable attempts." She laid a hand against his cheek, watching him with a smile on her face. But the things-that-you-could-have-but-you-won't look was gone from her eyes, the void filled with a look so tender and so defenseless that it broke his heart.
"I'm a very selfish man, Yoruichi. I won't be able to keep myself from having you if you don't stop me. And believe me, when I want something, I want all of it. I'm talking commitment, marriage, Yoruichi! Yoru, you are happy here. And that's all I want for you. If you follow me you will have nothing but a criminal on your hands. You know who I am- what I am. You know all that I have done. Following someone like me will bring you nothing but estrangement and disgrace. Don't be rash Yoru; it's a decision of a life time. Because if you say yes now, I'm never letting you go. " his voice was pleading. She shook her head.
"If I stay I will be rich, and I will be revered for my powers and my position and my shell. But what of me Kisuke? Is there anyone but you who truly knows the real me? I've been rich and respected and feared for too long. All I want is to be with you now"
She had barely finished speaking when his mouth crashed down on hers; kissing her, tongue stroking hungrily against hers. His hands were rushing over every cherished curve of her body, pushing aside the crude cotton of the haori to contact smooth silk. She whimpered and melted into him, fingers tangling in his hair.
He was spinning them round and round with her feet dangling in the air, dancing to the music of destiny, trying unconsciously to make the outside world as hazy and restless as their own was. His mouth and hands were moving over her body, feverishly trying to somehow embed every facet of her being into him. Neither registered the potential embarrassment if someone happened to walk in. all that mattered was the sensations incited with every groan and bite and slide of hands and bodies as they sank onto the small cot in the corner. His hulking presence hunched over her, touching and pleasuring and drawing out feelings that she had never quite been able to feel before. And she let him, so different from all her other times with all those other men. No, not men. Compared to him they were all boys; like practice for the real one. With him she was bared in more ways than the one.
She was so soft and delicate and suddenly he felt that one wrong touch would shatter her. So he kept his touch light, teasing but nothing could keep his kisses tender. He needed her so badly, and she was so delicious and he had been waiting for so long…
There were no words, except the breathing of each other's names; there was no need of them. The desire was so great that the thought of not making love never occurred to either, and they were beyond permissions…
He was lost in her eyes, sinking deeper and deeper into her presence. She was once again the soft Yoruichi he had known so long ago, before the world had tempered her into the Ruling Commander of the Covert Ops. She was the Yoruichi who walked around with her heart in her eyes and who had tried to scrub death off her skin with water and soap. And had collapsed, exhausted and wet and sobbing in his arms. His guileless, innocent Yoru who was enamored with everything that existed.
Oh, God, what was he doing to her? His feather-light caresses and ravenous kisses awakening her to desires and needs previously uncharted. Breaking down every wall she had ever put up with just a whisper.
"Kisuke, Kisuke, Kisuke," it was chant and apology and invitation and prayer all at once as her hands went gliding over his body, over smooth skin covering taut, disciplined muscle. Time stopped flowing and began to pool and pulse around them as he entered her, drawing a heartbreakingly honest moan from his lover as she buried her face into his shoulder. He couldn't even keep a half-formed thought in his head, the pleasure was that great. He gave up thinking, gave up every pretension of sexual refinement and thrust into her again and again frantically, holding her like a dying man clutching at life. She had never felt so complete before, never so loved. With every passing moment and every grind of slippery bodies a new, unspoken promise was being made between them. "I love you," she cried out as she came hard, with him in tow. He whispered the words back to her and she felt like she had swallowed the stars and the moon along with them. He collapsed on top of her, exhausted and replete. There wasn't enough room on the cot for much movement so it required a decent amount of expert maneuvering for him to switch their positions so that she lay sprawled over his chest. He brushed a soft kiss over her lips, joy rushing through him as she returned it.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"Never better," she replied, "Oh, damn. We have to get decent; there's no telling when someone might come in." He fought back the urge to pull her back, instead letting her quickly don the haori. The ill-fitting garment dangled off one shoulder even when she tied it as tightly as she could. He couldn't help himself and lightly bit the exposed skin, making her roll her head back onto his shoulder. Dammit, he wanted her again but there was no time. He dressed as fast as he could, sensing the guards slowly coming to.
"I love you." He whispered to her, framing her face with his hands and kissing her desperately.
"Me too."
"You love yourself? And here I was thinking that it was me you loved." he joked, trying to lift the mood…to no response. He kissed her again, hungrily, urgently before flinging her away from him.
"Go. Go before I lose it and am not able to see you walk away. Go!" she watched him for a long time, measuring him up.
"Go." She walked up to him and kissed him one last time before rushing out the door. He could feel her vanish into the night shadows as he securely tied his obi.
It had been 2 weeks since they had escaped to the real world. Two long despair-ridden weeks. Even though he tried to be cheerful, the melancholy hung in the air like a cloud of heavy, fetid cigar smoke. It choked all of them, slowly but surely. And it was showing no signs of lifting. Kisuke was the most depressed, as he was bound to be. Yoruichi was strong, but even her shoulders drooped and he often found her staring into the distance and sighing. Like a man to boot. Yoruichi hadn't turned into her true form since they got here. Which consequently meant that they hadn't made love other than the one time. Yes, Kisuke was indeed going up the walls. But saying it would make him so uncouth so he didn't. it served to make the 2 weeks longer. Had he actually confessed his true feelings to her, how his heart was breaking for leaving Soul Society maybe she would have taken it as a sign that he needed her. But he hid everything behind a goofy smile and equally goofy small talk. He gave her no sign that he was hurting, that he needed someone to help him. So she didn't go to him, thinking that he didn't want her.
But she needed him, so badly. For the first time in her life she felt the need to bury her pain somewhere because it threatened to overwhelm her. For the first time in years she needed to be held, not as a lover but as a friend. It seemed there were a lot of firsts to be had when one was with a man like the (in)famous Urahara. But she didn't tell him, and he was so busy trying to lift the atmosphere that he didn't ask.
It was a good month and a half later that Kisuke actually accepted the fact that he couldn't deal with the pain, accepted the fact that he was hurting, hurting unbearably. When he went to her that night, knocking softly on her door, the voice that greeted him was her own.
She sat on the bed with her legs drawn up against her chest, wearing those skimpy cotton boxers and tiny clingy shirt she always wore when she slept, burgundy hair loose and mussed. It was such a vulnerable pose, her arms wrapped around her legs, chin resting on her knees, eyes betraying a night spent wistfully staring into the distance.
He closed the door behind him. And realized that she probably needed him a hundred times more than he needed her right now. The eyes that turned up to his weren't the one he had looked into countless times. These eyes were haunted, scared and so sad. But the expression remained only for a split second before it vanished.
"Kisuke," she breathed as he pulled her off the bed into his arms, "what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, I should never have gone along with this. You don't belong here. You can still go back Yoru. Go back and live your life. Live my life. You don't deserve this." He stroked her stiffening back.
Her reaction was one he hadn't calibrated into his plan; she slapped him. Her palm crashed into the side of his face so hard it spun his head around.
"Who do you think you are, asshole! Stop trying to dictate my life! You don't have the right to tell me what to do and how to do it and when to do it so stop trying. And most of all, stop it with that pathetic, weak little girl you've made me out to be. I'm not the one who's hurting here, Kisuke. So stop trying to solve your problems by unloading them on me." She yelled, accentuating her point every few words with another slap. And then suddenly he was in her arms, and she was holding him to her, stroking his hair and all the emotions inside him just overflowed. He cried, as simple as that.
He held onto her like a lifeline in stormy seas, so tight she thought that she might just break and wept like a man who had lost everything. His body shook with his wrenching sobs. She had never felt so helpless before; it was indeed a terrible thing to see a man cry. Slowly, ever so slowly, the terrible sobbing slowed.
But when he drew his head off her shoulder, the light in his bloodshot eyes was far from comforting. They were wild and desperate and dangerous and so sad it broke her heart. So when he kissed her, roughly, needily, she responded with just as much passion.
He was drowning. Drowning in the pain and the mindless horror of what he had done. She was relief, blessed respite from the violent tempest inside him that threatened to tear him apart. He devoured her, took everything and gave nothing back, mindlessly taking, taking, taking… Oh God, Kisuke, she thought, unaware that she had actually whispered it into his mouth. His tongue tracing patterns of fire over her skin, his fingers exploring wherever the hell they pleased. She knew she couldn't have stopped him even if she wanted to.
Her clothes, as small as they may be, were a hindrance and were promptly ripped off her person at an alarmingly fast rate. He picked her up and flung her down on the bed, crawling up to her, his eyes so bright they almost glowed. And then his hands and his hungry mouth was everywhere.
"I'm a fool," he whispered hoarsely around a breast, "All this time you'd been right there in front of me and I didn't notice. I'm such a fool…This time I'm gonna make you beg…" He suckled on her as if he would pull out her very soul, and his fingers made their way to their destination, plunging into her core to ready her for him.
"Nev-," she murmured, gasping as his fingers slid home.
Her wetness undid him. God, he needed her so badly… He let his mouth wander low, over her rib cage, devouring tender skin with hot, openmouthed kisses and bites that took her to a place where pain drove the pleasure so much higher. She couldn't hear anything over the roar of blood in her ears.
Speed, frenzy, desperation all crashed into her and she thought she might just pass out from all the sensations assaulting her. And she found herself responding to desires she would never have answered before. When his mouth closed over her nipple she released a low scream at the feeling of his teeth and his tongue. She hadn't know what it was like to want someone so much it hurt. And she had had just about enough of being the passive one.
Kisuke seemed to have been prepared for such attitude and the moment she finished that thought she felt him prying her legs apart. And then his mouth was there, sending fire raging through her veins. His tongue was swirling around the spot that he knew drove her mad, alternating between long drawn out licks and then a sudden plunge inside her. Her mouth hung open in a silent scream, fingers tangled painfully in his hair in utter abandon.
"Ask me," he demanded in a hoarse whisper.
"No." she said, lost in the violent storm inside her.
While lust had driven him before, greed kept him from ending it. He wanted to watch her go over the edge, wanted to hear her throaty scream as he made her come again and again. She had never abandoned herself to him this way. He bit down on her, right where the sensation was strongest and reveled in her hoarse gasp and the way her hands fisted in his hair as she climaxed. He held her still for a while, drinking in the flood. But he should have known better than to expect Yoruichi to lie passive.
She had him on his back within a fraction of a second, straddling him as her mouth claimed his. Hot, wet, greedy…the kiss conveyed everything she felt. His hands clamped around her hips, grinding his erection up against her core. She moaned, letting her hand rush down his body to take him in her warm hand. The way he jerked against her, a choked groan forcing its way through him, was gratifying to the extreme.
She stroked him, slowly, teasingly, scratching her nails up and down his length until he was ready to scream. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore her hand closed around him hard, making him arch back with pleasure.
If she thought she was in control, she was dead wrong. He had her under him in a second, arms hooked behind her knees, holding her completely open to him and he rubbed the tip of his erection over her core. Her practical nails dug into his biceps as her mouth opened over his.
"Kisuke, now. Do it now…please." She whimpered, giving in. Well, it wasn't really begging but he could live with a request. He pushed into her fast, hard, the way they both wanted to. Sweat broke out over both their bodies, sliding over each other, the pleasurable friction driving both of them wild. He thrust into her hard, forcing himself inside her to the root, making her take him all the way in every time.
The sounds escaping her were a shock to her, whimpers, moans, barely stifled screams. She had always thought of herself as sexually stable; no man could make her lose her cool. She didn't recognize this wanton woman who cried out her need for her lover with such longing, and melted into a puddle of passions inside. He had turned the tables on her, made her into the vulnerable one.
She climaxed with the ruthless power of lightning when it deigns to fall, crying out his name before he silenced her with his mouth. She felt his tears falling softly on her cheeks and he pumped into her jackhammer quick, frantic to reach the peak he had just sent her over. She never expected to feel her own eyes run with tears. She framed his face, unprepared and unready for the burst of tenderness inside her, and kissed him as he cried out when came, softly and tenderly, causing him to take her fully into his arms and hold her panting brokenly into her neck.