The Rainbow Writers Season Seven- Episode 9: Spider or Fly?

by rainbowwriters

Officially our Season Seven Series. Re-Post of an old story.

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fan fiction site.

LOVE/ GRAPHIC SEX DISCLAIMER: This story depicts a love relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story. (Please note this may not apply until much further parts but it will be an integral part of the storyline.)

TIMEFRAME: Season Seven done Rainbow Writers Style… we are taking all that has aired up until Grave as gospel and working with what the bad evil Josh has given us… the difference WE LOVE WILLOW AND TARA… so we're going to fic all the horribleness… the theme is still "Back to the Beginning" as hinted at… but with a total focus on fixing what was done to our gorgeous lovely couple.

PAIRING: Willow and Tara… obviously!

BIG GIANT HUGE ANGST/UNHAPPINESS DISCLAIMER: So if you've seen season six… you know… ME sucks… they took us all down a road we never wanted to go… but now we have to get back… so the ride will be bumpy… but we promise this time the light… its daylight and NOT a train!

WORK OF THE RAINBOW WRITERS WARNING! … If you know our stuff you know we can OWN pain and suffering when we want too… stock up: tissues, chocolate, have loved ones near… we're going to get to a happy place but we're not going to gloss over the damage ME has done.

YELLOW CRAYON XANDER WARNING: In the vein of trying to be nice… we've decided its time for Xander to clean up some of his act and take on some responsibility… no he's not turning into super Xander, but maybe a more respectable guy.

Episode 7.9

Spider or Fly?

By: The Rainbow Writers

"But I don't get it Giles, Madalene and Tara are just talking about life the universe and everything, and then half a day later we're all eight years in the future, a future, that won't actually ever exist." The Slayer paced the floor of the Magic Box, in front of where the Watcher, Xander and Anya sat all looking though various books and articles.

"I know." Giles agreed with a small nod. "And as promised Buffy we are researching, but as neither Tara nor Madalene seem to have any idea of what happened, then it is hard to know where to start." He admitted picking up a new book, opening it, flicking through the index, only to lay it down on the table again. "Like I told you before Buffy, though Madalene may have spent many years trying to collect information and details about her heritage, we're still left with little more than folk lore and handed down bedtime stories."

"You're totally inspiring hope here G-Man." Xander looked up from an extraordinarily thick book. "I mean this wasn't particularly interesting before you just more or less told us it was pointless."

"No research is pointless or a waste of time Xander." Giles chided tutting slightly under his breath.

"Oh no?" Buffy arched an eyebrow and took a peek of Anya's shoulder to look at what she was reading. "Then since when has 'fashionable torture devices and methods of the fifteenth century' been relevant to Tara and Madalene's lineage."

"Hello?" Anya flicked the book closed. "No longer human, like I'm bothered about your research." She huffed. "I'm just here for the free donuts." She shrugged and picked up the largest one, covered with pink icing and rainbow sprinkles. "Especially when the answer is simple enough." She took a large bite. "Madalene and Tara are both from demon stock, it would be more alarming to me if they couldn't distort time or burn each one of you into crispy little morsels." She shrugged again and munched on.

"Thank you for that An." Xander frowned looking down at his small bowl of roasted peanuts.

"And anyway…" The door to the back room opened and Dawn eased through it, coming over to join the rest of them at the research table. "Unlike certain demon elements…" She glanced over at the still eating Anya. "Tara and Madalene don't want to be all zippy – zappy." She pointed out sitting down.

"How's Madalene?" Buffy asked as Dawn picked up a book.

"Still meditating." Dawn glanced back at the semi open door with a soft sigh.

"Should I call the house, see how Will and Tara are?" Buffy crossed over to the counter, her hand hovering over the telephone.

"Leave them." Anya objected, finally finishing the sticky donut. "After all they've not had the place to themselves for a life time, I know what I'd be doing if I were them, and you don't want to interrupt that, especially not if Tara can fry people with just a flash of her eyes."

"Enough with the frying!" Xander pushed his snacks aside.

"Okay, though she has a point, they might just need time alone." Buffy rethought the move to call. "So, we're no closer to explaining how what happened, happened. Did you have any more luck with the thoughts of how to erase the memories we all have of the time we spent in the future?" The Slayer looked at her Watcher with tired hazel eyes.

"Buffy, you know from past experiences it's not as simple as just taking specific memories and erasing them." The Watcher pointed out.

"Yeah," Dawn added her agreement. "I don't want to be Nwad again, and Joan really didn't suit you."

"That road leads to bad mo-jo." Xander nodded.

"Yes but that was Willo…" Buffy stopped. "That was magic gone a little crazy, and an attempt to erase real events, this is just asking to remove the unreal bits." She countered.

"On the contrary Buffy." Giles shook his head. "What happened to each of you in the hours you were in the future, are now very much a part of your mind and memories."

"But why?" Buffy demanded. "You said that none of the places we went to were real, or would happen."

"That's not what I said Buffy." The Watcher contradicted. "What I actually said was that none of them were 'the future' as we will now know it, they were alternatives created by magic, produced out of essential given 'facts' and coloured by individual bias at the time."

"You mean that the magic created a picture made out of what was real and we coloured it in with our imaginations?" Dawn asked.

"Precisely." Giles gave the teenager a proud smile. "Which is why none of you appeared in the same 'future'."

"I think I have issues." Dawn frowned and looked down.

"I know I have issues." Buffy said, a little louder than she had meant to.

"You know if it would help, I'm here, and can listen." Xander offered gently glancing at Dawn and Buffy.

"Yes I too wouldn't mind hearing if there were any gory or seriously sexually explicit parts." Anya piped up brightly.

Buffy suddenly became highly interested in a counter display, and Dawn in her book.

"Anya, please." Giles reprimanded.

"What?" The demon objected. "Pictures coloured in by a blossoming hormonal teenager, and a sexually repressed Slayer, worth a look I'd bet, might even call for popcorn and pizza." She looked genuinely excited by the prospect.

"Okay you know what." Buffy moved suddenly to the door. "I'm going to Willy's bar, to see if there are any demons in the know about demon time travel. I'll be back when I have news." She pulled the door open hard and left quickly.

"Well now we all know that I hit a nerve don't we." Any said smugly before settling down again with her 'research' and another donut.

"Willow, sweetie you have paint on your nose." Tara moved over the white dust sheet the pair had put over the carpet in their room and crossed to the redhead, dabbing at the end of her nose with a soft white cloth that she pulled from the bib pocket of the white overalls she was wearing.

"You have some on your cheek." Willow replied smiling at the attention, and then rubbing at the spots of pale pink paint that flecked Tara's cheek.

"Better?" Tara stayed still under the soft cleaning touch.

Willow nodded, tucking away the cloth in her white overall pocket.

The pair looked every bit the young lover's, in their matching white overalls, splashed with paint. Willow with a pale blue T-shirt beneath it and Tara with a pale pink one. The blonde's hair was up in a pony tail, tied with a blue band, and Willow's was up in a braid, secured with a pink scrunchy.

The Summers landing was filled with the furniture that used to be in the girls room, and there were seven cans of paint open on the dust sheet covered floor.

"Do you think Buffy will be mad?" Willow asked going back to painting the pastel orange arch she was painting on a rainbow that spanned the whole wall.

"No." Tara replied honestly, stretching up with an extended roller, to coat the wall opposite in the soft pink she was using. "And if she is a tiny bit grumpy it will only be because she wasn't around to help." She added glancing over her shoulder at Willow with a smile.

"Was it selfish of me to just want to do this with you?" Willow carefully finished the bottom of the bow near the skirting board.

"I don't think so." Tara shook her head. "I think everyone knows we need time." She pointed out softly.

"I can't believe how good Midnight is being." Willow turned and looked through the semi open door at their bed in the hallway, on which the large dark dog was laid, keeping half an eye on what they were doing, but mostly just dozing.

"She's a special dog." Tara smiled watching her lover. "Chosen by a real dog person."

"I said that to you once." Willow turned back to look at Tara, she put her paint brush down and moved over to the blonde. "When we were at uni, not that long after we met, you wanted to get a cat, and you asked me if I minded them. I told you I was more of a dog person then."

Tara put down her roller and nodded, reaching up to brush a few red hairs back of Willow's cheek that had escaped from the braid.

"I kinda remembered." She said softly.

"You did?" A bright smile filled the redhead's features. "Oh Tara I love you so much." She closed her arms around the blonde and rested her head against Tara's chest.

"I love you too sweetie." Tara held Willow gently.

"I can't believe that in my view of the future, you were sick." Willow was happy to just be held in place, loving the warm and comfort just holding Tara brought her.

"It's because it's what you're most afraid of sweetie." Tara assured her it made sense. "The thing that scares you most is me leaving you again." She continued gently. "So your mind incorporated that fear into your future." She placed a light kiss on red hair.

"Which is why I thought I was having episodes? I so don't want them to be still around in eight years time." Willow stressed.

"I know." Tara nodded. "And they won't be." She added. "Or even if they are, they won't be a problem." The blonde stressed.

"Tell me again about Esther." Willow snuggled in close, closing her eyes.

"Well she had your nose, my eyes, and your fascination with breasts." Tara chuckled. "Now tell me about Anne."

"You saw her." Willow objected to being the story teller slightly.

"Only briefly." Tara gave a soft pout.

"Well okay, she was so small, and so delicate, but so pretty, perfect in everyway." The red head smiled distantly.

"Don't you think…" Tara mused, rocking Willow a little. "That it means something that even with the not so good elements we thought about, the fact that we both saw us together in the future with a baby means something, you know, huge?" The blonde posed the question softly, and finished her words with a light kiss to the top of Willow's head.

"You mean something like we both love the 'If These Walls Could Talk' movie with Sharon Stone and Ellen?" Willow looked up and gave a quirky smile. "Or that we both have secret broody baby thoughts?"

"I mean more that we both see our futures, as being together, being happy, and having children." Tara pointed out gently.

"Oh that." Willow grinned a wife bright grin. "Yeah that thought crossed my mind several million times."

"We could practice." Tara's eyebrow quirked a little changing the hold she hand on Willow, to looping her arms up around the redhead's shoulders, bringing them eye to eye.

"What being together and happy?" Willow smiled moving her arms around her lover's waist.

"More the making babies bit." Tara clarified with a light giggle.

"Definitely." Willow pressed her mouth quickly to Tara's, as the blonde's hand went to undo the clasp holding up the bib of Willow's overalls.

Two large scaly demons stood either side of the entrance to Willy's bar, they were smoking something that smelled almost as noxious as they looked. They regarded the Slayer with deep orange eyes when she approached.

"Didn't take you long." One hissed not directly at the Slayer but too loud to be directed at his companion.

"Waiting for me where you?" Buffy looked at him blankly.

"Why would we be looking for a Slayer?" The pair exchanged brief glances.

"I don't know, demons like you always have a death wish." Buffy gave him a sweet smile.

"We'd knew you'd be round here when you found out." The other spoke up.

"Willy have two for one dusting again?" The Slayer raised an eyebrow.

"We don't do dusting." The first shook his head.

"Then why don't we just forget the chit chat and you tell me what you know?" She opened her jacket showing her trusty short sword.

"Don't know what you mean Slayer." Both glanced at each other, but then spied the short sword. "We know nothing other than he's back."

"Who is back?" Buffy felt a churning start in her stomach.

"Now boys don't you think you've said enough." Clem came from inside the bar and looked at the two demons and then at Buffy.

"Clem." Buffy looked at the floppy eared demon. "Get out of here." She signalled to the other two who prompted skittered off into the night. "What's going on?"

"Going on?" Clem looked everywhere but at Buffy.

"Whose back?" She gave him the glare.

"Back?" He continued to try to play dumb.

"Clem, don't make me show you the short sword." She growled at him. "Who is back?"

"Spike." Clem said in the smallest voice.

Buffy knew she couldn't have felt more icy shock wash through her body if Clem had said any other name, the wash was soon replaced by a churn of confused emotions and responses, none of which she could settle on.

"When did he get back?" She said without thinking.

"Last night." The fleshy demon kept his answer shorts.

"Is he in the bar?" Buffy looked at the door now feeling like it was about 20 feet tall and looming over her.

Clem shook his head.

"He doesn't want trouble Buffy, just leave him be, yeah?" He encouraged.

"I have no reason to cause him trouble." Buffy shook her head. "I... I didn't come here to see him. I have other things to chase."

"That's okay then." Clem nodded. "We can both go our separate ways with a smile and a wave."

"Yes." Buffy nodded then stopped. "Oh Clem, do you know any demons that can time travel?"

"A lot." Clem stopped and turned. "Not me though, things like the Geaoks, can."

"Any in town?" Buffy continued the soft inquisition.

"You were just talking to two." He smiled.

"Crap." Buffy cursed. "Okay got to go." She headed off in the direction they had retreated too. "I wish demons wore nametags." She grumbled.

Madalene silently came out of the back room and pulled on her cardigan, trying to clear her mind and find the centre she'd been working so hard to maintain during her meditation.

"Has Buffy gone on patrol?" She asked not seeing the blonde in the Magic Box, everyone else had there heads buried in various books.

"She went to tour the demon dens and that kind of thing for info." Dawn replied briefly looking at her

"We've found something in particular to pursue?" Madalene moved over peering at the teenager's book.

"Mmmm, you." Anya looked up with a smile.

"Me?" Madalene looked back at her confused.

"Well you and Tara to be more precise." Anya explained.

"Oh yes, but I meant more the reason Buffy was out pressuring the demon sources." Madalene clarified her question.

"Because you're demons now, in the eyes of a Slayer at least." Anya continued.

"Anya." Xander looked at her with a frown. "It's not like that." He added looking at Madalene with a soft smile.

Madalene pulled back trying not to let the words visibly effect her. Almost irrationally she put her hand on the back of Dawn's chair for support, afraid her legs would give out on her and be unresponsive as they had been in the other universe.

"Dawn, we should be getting home. What do you want to have for dinner?" She tried to move to another topic.

"Actually we're giving Will and Tara alone time." Dawn looked back at her slightly awkwardly.

"Oh... well..." Madalene found herself again trying to catch up. "Did you want to go out and get something then?"

"We could get pizza." Xander continued to try and make things more comfortable.

"Is that everyone's vote? I can go pick it up." She nodded wanting to be helpful and at the same time not focus on the idea that this was her fault, that everyone had been put into danger because of her.

"I'll come with." Xander pushed up.

"You want your usual Dawn?" Madalene checked with the unusually quite teenager.

"Yeah sounds great." She kept looking at her book.

Madalene picked up her purse from behind the counter and gave a short sigh when she was out of sight. Transitioning back to normal after what they had been through was obviously going to be a lot harder than she had hoped. Xander held the door open and walked out into the fresh air.

"It'll get better." He offered softly.

"I hope so." She nodded as she pulled her arms around her body.

"It's the wiggins, they don't stay that long." He smiled a little brighter.

"You've seen them before?" She looked at him hopeful that he was in fact right.

"Oh yeah." Xander nodded. "There was this time, Willow erased people's memories, and I mean all of us, it was wipe, blank out." He explained. "The wiggins moved in right after that."

"Wait, Willow erased Tara's memories?" Madalene pulled him to a gentle stop. "All of them?"

"Yup," Xander gave a short nod.

"I thought she just erased a fight or some cross words." Madalene explained why she was questioning.

"Oh she did that as well." Xander nodded. "But then she did it again, and it went whacko."

"How did you all get your memories back?" Madalene drew him to keep walking again towards the pizza place.

"They were held in this crystal, I trod on it."

"Effective."

The tall young man nodded and smiled.

"So what kind of pizza do you want?" Madalene laughed as she linked her arm in Xander's.

"All of them." Xander shrugged. "Serious Madalene, you're one of the gang now."

He added squeezing her arm. "Things will be okay."

"I hope so." Madalene nodded thoughtfully.

Willow came back up the stairs after stowing the last of the paint cans away in the garage. She smiled as she hung in the doorway, watching as Tara tucked away the last of their socks into the newly returned dresser.

"Beautiful." She said softly.

"Isn't it?" Tara turned and gave her lover a stunning smile.

"You are yes." Willow grinned. "And the room is too." She moved over and sat on the bed. "It's like a whole different place, a happy place."

"Good." Tara moved over and sat beside her. "Ready for your evening pill?"

"Yes." Willow nodded. "Hopefully I won't have to take them too much longer." She added softly.

"You won't, I'm sure." Tara smiled and leaned over pulling open the bedside cabinet.

"Should we call the Magic Box? Tell everyone they should come home." Willow questioned letting her lover fuss with the medications. Just having them on Tara's side of the bed, for the blonde to monitor and take care of, put Willow at little more at peace about them.

"We could do if you're ready to share me." Tara smiled and held the pills out on her palm

"Mmmm not for the whole night." Willow took them and picked up her drink from the side. "But with everyone being wiggy, we can't keep them away all night can we?" She took them one by one.

"True, Okay we'll ring." Tara smiled.

"Have you talked to Dawnie at all?" Willow checked quietly as she put her glass down.

"No." Tara shook her head.

"I hope she was in a nice place, I mean with it all being so scary and weird." Willow moved over to the closet to pick out her nightwear.

"Yes, I know what you mean." Tara nodded. "I've been trying to get to have a word with her, I just don't know…" She paused and frowned softly.

"Everyone doesn't seem to want to mention what they saw." Willow nodded that she understood. "You don't mind that I told you did you? I mean, it was like an episode, but I know now it was real and I just... I wanted you to know... I needed to talk to you about it." She clarified.

"Of course I don't." Tara shook her head. "I'm glad you did."

"I'm glad you told me about yours too." Willow moved back to the bed and laid down to rest her head in Tara's lap.

"Well how could I not" Tara smiled.

"I hope nothing else weird happens for awhile." Willow admitted looking up at the blonde.

"Me too, I just want quiet us time."

"Lots and lots of it." Willow turned a bit cuddling her arms around Tara's leg as she gave a little yawn.

"Oh someone's sleepy, all that hard work, and little pills makes Willow a tired baby." Tara leaned forward and kissed down onto her lover's head.

"Mmmm just a bit, we did paint a whole room." She smiled enjoying the kiss.

"We did." Tara looked around, "I'm glad we've got the windows open to help vent it." She added. "So little Miss Willow?" She looked again at the redhead.

"Yes Miss Tara?" Willow smiled.

"You want to slip into bed?"

"Mmmm I should." Willow hummed a little.

"You should." Tara nodded

"It's been a great day." Willow moved carefully to under the new comforter they had picked up at the same time as the paints.

"Okay, I'm going to ring the guys, then put the kettle on, and then I'll be back up to check how you're doing." Tara leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Sound okay?" She checked before pulling back.

"Perfect." Willow nodded.

"Midnight come watch Will." Tara pushed off the bed, calling the dog, which bounded up the stairs, and scooted into the bedroom. She patted the soft dark head and then kissed Willow again. "I'll be back soon." She assured her

Dawn pulled open the cupboard, smiling a little when she saw her double handled cereal bowl clean and in its proper place. She pulled it out and grabbed the Honeycombs off the top of the fridge pouring some into the bottom and then dousing them with the milk she'd already pulled out of the fridge. She'd had two pieces of pizza at the Magic Box but she really hadn't been in an eating mood, her mind was just way too busy. She hoped a bowl of cereal would keep the hungry noises her stomach was making at bay and let her curl up and try to sleep. She also hoped that maybe with being up later she'd still be awake when her sister got home.

"Hey Dawnie." Tara moved into the kitchen rubbing her eyebrow a little

"Hi." Dawn looked up with a smile. "I thought you and Willow were asleep already." She put the milk away.

"Willow is zonked, as is the dog." Tara chuckled softly. "I'm not sleepy." She added.

"Do you want cereal?" Dawn hesitated putting away the box.

"If I'm crowding Dawn just tell me, and I'll go and squeeze between the dog and my girlfriend." Tara said softly.

"No, no of course not." Dawn shook her head and sat down to eat. "Am I giving go away vibes?" She frowned. "I didn't mean to, I'm just... I feel weird still."

"It's okay to feel weird." Tara assured her. "And go away vibes are okay too, after all you were alone in a place that you didn't understand."

"It was a crazy place." Dawn nodded taking a mouthful of cereal. "Nothing made any sense."

"Feel up to talking about it?" Tara offered softly. "We could go snuggle on the couch and each ice cream."

"Giles said that what happened was a framework that we filled in with our imagination, with our emotions." Dawn looked at her blinking. "If that's the case... I think I need a shrink too."

"There's nothing wrong with needing someone to talk to about things Dawn." Tara pointed out gently. "Sometimes friends can't be the help we need."

"I don't want them to put me on pills." Dawn looked back into her cereal. "Or..." She shivered thinking of the times they'd kept Willow in the hospital. "Maybe its best if I just forget about what happened."

"Dawnie, they won't put you on pills." Tara took the teenager's hand. "And they certainly won't keep you in the hospital." She shook her head.

"You don't know what it was like." Dawn looked up at her and shook her head fearfully.

"Then why don't you tell me." Tara encouraged. "Come on the couch is just calling for our company."

Dawn slowly picked up her bowl and lead Tara into the living room.

"What do you remember?" Dawn looked out the window into the dark.

"Why don't you just start at the beginning?" Tara urged her not answering. She watched as Dawn was silent for a few seconds, just knowing she had to give the young woman time to order her thoughts.

"I was on a beach with Dean, who turned out to be this hunky guy I had gotten married too. He was a doctor." Dawn started with a good fact.

"Sounds great." Tara gave her a knowing smile.

"That's why I figured I was dreaming, cute guy, big diamond ring and a tropical honeymoon." Dawn nodded. "Then Buffy came... and it all went crazy." She frowned.

"Can you tell me why?" Tara asked very gently.

"She was... she wasn't herself." Dawn tried to explain. "She smoked." She put forward simply. "And swore... and apparently..." She hesitated. "Had been a drug addict." She whispered.

"Oh." Tara looked surprised. "That must have been hard to see."

"It was like when Willow first brought her back; she was cold and didn't care about anyone." Dawn took another bite. "She just wanted to marry me off to Dean so she wouldn't have to look after me anymore."

"Then?" She encouraged the honest conversation

"Then you and Willow came with Lacey and Suzie." Dawn kept going. "And you were... you... but Willow... she was being a bitch." She remembered and frowned more.

"A bitch?" Tara found it hard to believe the simple statement. Dawn nodded not wanting to say more. "And Madalene?" Tara didn't push for details it was obvious that the teenager didn't want to reveal.

"She wasn't herself either." Dawn put her bowl down on the coffee table and hugged the pillow in her stomach. "She'd hurt Buffy." She whispered.

"Okay." Tara nodded again and then opened her arms. "Hug?" Dawn hesitated for a moment and then moved forward hugging her.

"Does me filling in all of that make me crazy?" She asked in a tiny voice.

"No Dawnie, oh no." Tara held her softly and rocked her just a little. "It just means you have a whole lot of worries stored up in that head of yours." Tara drew a small circle on Dawn's temple.

"I want everyone to be happy." Dawn closed her eyes.

"I know." Tara nodded. "And Dawn maybe you should talk to some one, some one professional, just about everything you've been through."

"I can't tell them about everything, they'd think I was insane." Dawn shook her head against Tara's shoulder.

"I don't think you're insane." Tara pointed out. "Why would anyone else?"

"Because you know that my sister is the Slayer, you're a witch... doctors don't get any of that." Dawn shook her head.

"Then don't tell them that, tell them about losing your mom, tell them your sister was really sick, and had to go away for treatment, then a friend had a break down."

Tara replied. "There are ways of telling people things, that don't actually give unnecessary details."

"Do you think it would help?" Dawn questioned almost wanting to be convinced of the idea.

"I do, how about I come with you?" Tara offered.

"Would you?" Dawn looked up, obviously comforted by the offer.

"Of course I would." Tara nodded. "You might not be my blood sister Dawn but you mean the world to me."

"I love you." Dawn whispered hugging close to her again.

"I love you too Dawn, just think about it." She encouraged gently. "I know it was a very, very scary thing to happen, but sometimes, such things happen and teach us something about our selves that we needed to know."

The back door of the Summers' house slipped open as quietly as it could be in an attempt not to disturb the Slayer that had been sitting on the back porch for along time in the dark. A steaming cup of coffee with a hint of vanilla in it was sat down beside the blonde and with only a moment of hesitation the figure started back to the house.

"You don't have to go." Buffy said very quietly.

"Are you sure?" Madalene checked softly.

"Sure, I mean everyone's been holding at each at arms length at best so come on, invade my personal space." Buffy shuffled up along the step and picked up her coffee.

"I'm not a space invader." Madalene moved back and sat down next to her.

"How are you?" Buffy cradled the cup with both hands.

"Trying to get my head around things, like everyone." Madalene admitted. "Did you find out anything on patrol?"

"Just some stuff I'd rather have not known." Buffy shrugged.

"Is it information you can share?" Madalene asked carefully.

"It's not information important to the matter in focus." Buffy shook her head. "I'd share if it was."

"I think we all need something to focus on a little bit away from the current one." Madalene admitted nodded that she understood somewhat. "There's left over pizza I could heat up if you're hungry."

"I'm not." Buffy shook her head. "Madalene you know this isn't against you, you or Tara," She stressed

"I understand if you blame me." The Spellcaster contradicted softly. "Everyone is convinced it was our fault."

"Nobody blames you, it's just you know we want you to be safe." Buffy tried to relate to the Spellcaster, though if she was honest full of the hot memories of the two of them it was hard for her even to sit this close to her.

"Thank you." Madalene reached out softly and patted her arm.

Buffy jumped and then badly tried to cover.

"Spider." She pointed down and then made some brief brushing motion with her foot. "Might be a Slayer but some things get to me."

Madalene didn't agree or disagree with the 'spider' cover for a few moments before she took a deep breath.

"Buffy, whoever I was, whatever I was doing in your future world... I hope that you can forgive me for it." She said very softly, hoping the apology would put Buffy at ease.

"It feels insane asking for forgiveness for something no one has done." Buffy pushed up and carried her coffee down the small steps into the yard. "I mean come on, none of us know what the other was thinking, or experiencing, and yet we're all creeping around on eggshells for what?" Buffy shrugged. "Giles more or less told us what ever we lived through was the creation of our own heads, so the only people we have to blame for them are ourselves."

"Because we feel like we've lived the time, in a way we have." Madalene shivered.

"No, you weren't the Madalene in my future." Buffy shook her head. "I know that for a fact." She drained her coffee.

"What makes you so sure?" Madalene asked the obvious question.

"I just know." Buffy sighed.

"I wore lots of leather and had fangs?" Madalene attempted to be funny.

"I really don't want to talk about this." Buffy turned and looked at the Spellcaster. "Though thanks for trying."

Madalene looked at her attempting to hide the slap of disappointment the rejection sent at her. In a way she'd been hoping that Buffy would be willing to talk so that maybe she could get a little of what she witnessed off her chest, but it was even more obvious now that she couldn't speak of it.

"Why don't I heat up some pizza?" She pushed up and slipped her sweater over her hand rubbing at her suddenly hot eyes as she turned.

"Yeah, sure." Buffy said with a sigh.

Buffy watched the Spellcaster go back inside and rubbed her hand over her stomach trying to work out the knot that had set there. It felt worse than any punch she'd ever taken. But she knew she had to keep her distance and keep her mouth shut until she worked out all this craziness.

"Little miss muffet, sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and way." A strangely sing song yet familiar voice came from the house behind the Slayer.

"Spike." Buffy whirled around so fast it made her head spin as her eyes came around trying to find out where he was but seeing nothing.

"A long came a spider." In a flurry of long black leather jacket the vampire jumped down from the porch roof, landing on all fours on the grass.

"What the hell are you doing?" She glared at him.

"And sat down beside her." He cocked his head towards her and he blinked twice. Possibly the most shocking thing about his appearance was his normally smart slicked back hair was completely shaved, leaving his normally piercing eyes to appear even more hollow and scary than normal.

"Spike stop it, you're sounding a little too much like Drusilla." Buffy tried not to be effected by the bizarre changes in his appearance, including the added gauntness to his cheeks.

"Shush, shush, the spider will hear." Spike started spreading his hands over the grass as if searching for something small in the long blades of green.

"Perfect, first I'm sucked to weirdo future world and now you're crazy." Buffy gave a long sigh. "Go away Spike." She started to walk towards the house.

"No Buffy, Buffy wait." Instead of moving his feet Spike just let the front of his body follow the Slayer leaving him to land heavily on his chest reaching out to her with outstretched arms

"What are you doing?" She looked down at him trying to figure out what was going on.

"Save me." He leaned his head on the grass and blinked at her. "Please Buffy."

"Save you from what?" Buffy began looking around expecting to find another vampire or demon.

"The pain, the burning." He clutched his hand to his chest and rolled onto his back.

"Pain from what?" Despite herself she moved closer to see if he was hurt or injured.

"No, don't touch me." He rolled away into the shrubs edging the path.

"Spike, are you hurt?" She asked following him at a short distance.

"Yes, pain, pain." Spike scrambled to his knees.

"Pain from what? Spike, where have you been?" She tried to get him to explain.

"Go, go I had to go, go now too." He got up and did a powerful jump landing him back on the porch roof.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled at him watching him.

"Buffy, what's going on?" Madalene came out the back porch having been alerted by her loud call.

"Go, go round the front of the house." Buffy yelled at her pointing to the house.

Madalene scrambled to get back through the door and ran around to the front going out onto the lawn.

"What am I looking for?" Madalene called back to her loudly scanning around.

Buffy scrambled up onto the roof and climbed up to the roof peak.

"A huge spider." The Slayer carefully moved to the bottom of the roof and dropped lightly onto the front lawn

"A huge spider?" Madalene repeated not understanding.

Buffy looked at her shaking her head.

"Nothing." She looked of into the darkness.

"I heard you yell Spike, is he back?" Madalene looked around as well.

"I need to call Giles."

"Buffy, is Spike back?" Madalene asked her again more strength in the question.

"Yes." She glanced at her briefly hurrying back indoors.

Madalene followed her in watching as Buffy picked up the phone.

"What did he say?" She pushed.

"Nothing that made any sense." Buffy quickly dialled the number.

"Did he attack you outside?" Madalene looked back towards the door trying to get her mind straight on what to do.

"No." Buffy shook her head and tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder.

Madalene waited to let her finish her conversation trying to gleam more from listening to her talk to the Watcher. Madalene wasn't going to glean much as the entire conversation consisted of 'need to see you, yes, right.' and then the Slayer put the phone back down.

"Why is he back?" Madalene questioned when the conversation had ended.

"I don't know." Buffy shook her head as she pulled a jacket off the end of the stairs. "Can you keep your eyes on the gang?" She pulled the short jacket on.

"Where are you going?" Madalene nodded but moved with her.

"To talk to Giles." Buffy checked her inner pocket for a stake.

"You're going to stay away from him though?" She questioned concerned.

"I plan to." Buffy gave a quick nod.

"Call me if you need anything." Madalene tapped her head.

"Sure." She stepped to the door again. "Madalene, don't tell the others what happened." She made that fact very clear.

"Of course." The Spellcaster nodded. "Just be safe, please." She added softly.

"Yeah." Buffy nodded and slipped out.

Giles took off his glasses and placed them on the small table next to his reading chair.

"Buffy, I'm afraid Spike acting crazy isn't particularly something new." He frowned slightly.

"No this wasn't normal crazy, this was crazy crazy." She made a gesture with her hands to underline the fact.

"I wouldn't put it past Spike to try to use that to lure you back into paying attention to him." Giles put forward reluctantly. "Perhaps it's best to wait a little and see what his next move is." He continued.

"So it's like everything else, hurry up and wait." Buffy blew up into her hair.

"What else would you suggest?" He questioned. "Unless you want to go on a hunt and put him out of his undead existence."

"Giles!" Buffy's eyes widened.

"If you think he is a threat Buffy, we are both more aware of how dangerous he can be. Perhaps the chip is malfunctioning." Giles picked up his glasses. "Since it is attached to his brain it could affect him emotionally."

"He didn't try to hurt me Giles, he sang me a nursery rhyme." Buffy rubbed her temple.

"Buffy, with everything that has happened recently maybe it is best to just wait." Giles took the cautious route.

"Why is it that when things go freaky they go really freaky?" Buffy sat down on the closest couch.

"Because we live on the Hellmouth." Giles offered the easy explanation. "I did want to speak with you thought." He added slipping his glasses back on. "About your experience in this future wish."

"What about it?" Buffy looked up at him

"I was hoping perhaps you could tell me about it in more detail, it might help us figure out the mechanism that was used to create it and sustains it." Giles picked up his notepad.

"What could possibly help you knowing details?" Buffy said guardedly.

"Buffy you are more than aware how magic works, subtle cues in the action can help one discern the conjuring." Giles prompted her.

"We were all alive, well, happy," Buffy listed off the basic facts.

"All still living in Sunnydale?" He nodded.

"All living somewhere, not too far away apart from Dawn."

"So your vision revolved around Dawn?" He questioned noting down something.

"No it didn't revolve around anyone really, you were in it, Will, Tara, everyone."

Buffy shoo her head.

"So you were living at home still? Who was with you?" Giles looked down at his notepad.

"I wasn't living at my home." Buffy shook her head. "That is it was my home but it wasn't where I am now." She sighed. "Giles is this really necessary."

"Buffy, you were the one who wanted us to figure out how and why this happened to all of you." Giles looked at her.

"Did something happen in your vision?" He caught on to her hesitation.

"Yeah, Tara had a birthday, I think you'll find it's a common thread." Buffy couldn't help but snap.

"I meant something personally happen to you." He cut back. "I think we are all well aware of the birthday theme."

"Can I just say I wasn't very me." Buffy replied cagily. "Oh and as a side note, Jenny was in it."

"Jenny?" Giles reached up to his shirt collar.

"Sorry I didn't mean for that to just slip out like that." Buffy frowned apologetically.

"No, good to know." He noted it down. "To know just how varied everyone's version was. Were Willow and Tara still involved?" He tried to ask the question without seeming to be prying.

"Not very, it was all pretty much me, me and me." Buffy rubbed her fore head again. "I lived, big house, happy relationship."

"Relationship with who?" Giles caught up the word immediately.

"Does that matter?" Buffy arched her eyebrow.

"It could, if Jenny is still alive that would suggest..." He cleared his throat. "A desire to have past wrongs fixed, so who you were with could project other qualities."

"It was no one from the past." Buffy shook her head.

"Then who?" Giles looked at her asking the important question.

"Giles you're beginning to sound like Anya, why is everyone so interested in who I was banging in my unreal future?" She pushed up scowling.

"Buffy! I assure you I am not interested in who you were having sex with, just simply who you were dating in your future verse." Giles corrected embarrassed she would think such a thing.

"Madalene okay." Buffy strode to the patio doors. "My dream consisted of many, long and rather kinky sex session with Tara's cousin." She turned and stared at her Watcher. "Happy now?"

"Sit down." Giles put the notebook down and pointed to the couch again his voice firm but gentle. "Please." He added seeing her hesitation.

Buffy blew out a lung full of air and then moved back to the couch sitting down hard.

"Buffy, is this why you've been so agitated since Tara's birthday?" Giles asked her.

"I don't think I've been any more agitated than anyone else/" Buffy defended quickly.

"Everyone has been out of sorts." He agreed easily. "Had you and Madalene been together long?" He asked curious as to why Buffy's brain would pair her up with the Spellcaster.

"Pretty much forever I think." Buffy nodded.

"Were you happy?" He asked his voice quieter.

"Unbelievably." Buffy breathed out. Giles stayed silent for a few long moments waiting to see if she would say more. "Giles I'm really not sure what you want from me." Buffy pushed up again. "It was trash, made up by my, what was it Anya called it, sexually repressed inner self."

"Buffy I mean this with all due respect, but an expression of your inner repression as you previously admitted to me manifested in the Spike episode, not in you being 'happy' in a long term loving relationship." Giles contradicted.

"Then what the hell was it?" Buffy turned and as a surprise to herself and the Watcher there were tears in her hazel eyes.

"The only thing we have established Buffy, is that you each experienced a future filled in by your own desires and wishes for the future, with both bad and good influences." Giles looked at her obviously pained by her uneasiness. "Would the possibility of a future with Madalene be so unbelievable?" He tried to phrase the question carefully, though he was a lot more sober and personally he believed more tempered than he had been when Willow had made her announcement, he also knew how reactionary his Slayer could be.

"Well let's think about that." Buffy tipped her head. "One I'm straight, two I think she's been through enough pain don't you, and as that's all I seem to be able to give people." She shook her head. "Madalene's best without me,." She moved quickly to the door. "Let's face it Giles, the only person's life I didn't mess up by being with them was Spike's, and it looks like that's up for debate right now." She took the door handle in her hand.

"One thing I know from any conversation with Madalene, she more than believes your worth it Buffy." Giles countered.

"Well good for her." She pulled the door open roughly and left.

Madalene had been up pretty much with the sunrise. She'd only managed a few hours of tossing and turning in bed before she figured there were better way to spend her time. There was laundry to finish, Dawn's lunch to make and of course the teenager always appreciated breakfast made for her before she rushed off to school.

Of course the laundry had been easy, the complacent clothes not caring who sorted and ultimately put them in the washing machine or dryer. Dawn however had been a different story, though the teenager had been hungry and had eaten the atmosphere in the kitchen for the short meal had been tense.

Sadly Madalene sighed as the door closed as she raced off for class, feeling a little ashamed at how the lifted tension actually made her feel better. She put away everything and started filling the sink up with dishes when the memories of the future overlapped her movements and she felt paralysed by fear.

"Mmmm, I'm late up, did you have to fix breakfast, sorry." Tara entered the kitchen rubbing her eyes a little and stretching out her back.

Madalene literally shook the feeling from her body and reached up wiping at her face.

"No, it's fine. Dawn had oatmeal and I made some croissants. I can toast some for you and Willow." She moved towards the plate that was in the oven staying warm.

"Willow's still sleeping." Tara explained. "Though I would love one." She added slipping up onto one of the breakfast stools. "How you doing couz?" She asked watching the Spellcaster.

"I'm alright, thinking of tackling that mess in the garage and maybe getting a new food bin for Midnight. Something with a lid and that we can put a liner in to keep things fresh." The Spellcaster babbled a bit moving to cut the croissant and put it in the toaster.

"And completely managing to not really answer my question, wow I thought that my Willow was the only Babble queen." Tara smiled gently at Madalene. "How are you?" She tried again.

"Maybe she's rubbing off on me." Madalene gave a gentle smile. "I'm fine, and besides I'm not the focus." She moved to the fridge. "Butter or jam?"

"Remind me of what the focus is then?" Tara asked pointing to the soft cheese rather than either of the options given.

"You, Willow, Dawn and Buffy." Madalene picked it up and moved back waiting for the toaster to finish. "Getting Willow healthy especially, helping everyone get over the wiggins as Xander called them."

"Explain to me why you're not one of the people listed in that surprisingly short list." Tara picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and began twisting the short stalk off.

"Because..." Madalene was about to try to find a reason when the croissant popped making her jump almost out of her skin. "Sorry." She apologized feeling stupid for being so skittish.

"It's okay." Tara shook her head and then tilted it gently to the side. "What's going on in that head of yours Madalene?" She asked again, this time more directly.

"Too much I think." Madalene sighed as she started to spread cheese on the hot pastry. "I'm just worried."

"Worried about what?" Tara continued to push gently. "Madalene, come on, don't make this so hard for me." She added looking at her cousin with a smile. "We're friends, more than that we're family, I'd do anything for you, now, and always."

"What do you remember from your short visit to my future world?" Madalene asked softly putting the plate down in front of Tara and sitting down beside her.

"Not much." Tara replied honestly. "Madalene is this about the wheelchair?" She added looking at the Spellcaster. "You know that's not really, it's not how it's going to be, that was just a projection of something inside you." She hurriedly stressed.

"Oh no I know that, I get the whole connection to the other accident and all that brings up subconsciously." Madalene nodded. "It's more how I got in the chair, the effect that it had on everyone." She looked down. "The fact that my project included having been in a relationship with Buffy." She bit her lip.

"Why wouldn't it?" Tara replied completely unfazed by the small revelation, then with a typically 'Tara' smile she added, "Madalene, she's an attractive, available young woman, more than that she's a Slayer, which is enough to make infinitely straight girls get the smallest shiver of excitement." She smiled more. "Why wouldn't a part of your brain but it together that you and she could be and item?"

"Again when you put it like that I can understand." Madalene admitted but her mood didn't lighten. "What's worries me most is the effect me being hurt had on Buffy in that situation, and the fact that I know it was a projection doesn't help the fact that I'm afraid it's exactly how she would react, and it would kill me."

"Madalene." Tara looked at the Spellcaster seriously. "Is this really an issue about how you feel about Buffy?"

"Probably." Madalene admitted weakly. "But as the fact is that since the spell ended she hasn't been able to even look me in the eye, I'm not thinking it's going to be a real issue."

"Madalene, I can't really say this with any true conviction, but from what I do remember about Buffy, she's someone who has been through so much, since being so young." Tara's voice was tender. "Her not being able to look at you in the eye probably has far more to do with how she's feeling than anything else. Who's to say what her mind created as her future?" The blonde put forward. "And on top of that, I know Buffy worries, and what happened…" She glanced down. "What we did, was worrying." She let blue eyes flick up to look at Madalene.

"I know. I'm going to start doing some new research. Figure out what it is we did and how." Madalene nodded.

"I'll help, just as soon as I've found a local doctor, registered and had a medical." Tara nodded.

"Had a medical? Are you not feeling well?" Madalene's worry tripled instantly.

"Okay don't you start as well." Tara smiled tenderly. "I am going for Willow's sake, to prove to her that I am A1, okay?"

"I could phone around and find someone to see you today?" Madalene nodded that she understood and tried to be helpful.

"Would it help you find a focus?" Tara asked.

"Definitely." Madalene smiled. "That and if I make you another croissant." She patted Tara's arm.

"In that case yes to both." Tara put her hand over Madalene's and squeezed it gently. "We'll get through this, all of us." She assured her.

Madalene balanced the breakfast tray and knocked lightly on the closed bedroom door. She waited a few long moments, knowing how the Slayer could sleep through anything when she wanted too.

"Buffy?" She called when there was still no answer. "Buffy the tray is heavy, I have breakfast." She called again opening the door a little. "Buffy?" She called again poking in. "Buffy?" Her tone changed when she saw the bed was still made and didn't look slept in at all. She put the tray down and walked back to Tara's room.

"Tara, have you seen Buffy this morning?" She questioned the blonde.

"No." Tara looked over to the door way shaking her head "I think I must have dozed off before she came in from patrol." She admitted. "Because I didn't even hear her get in"

"I didn't either; I don't think she came home." Madalene moved back out into the hallway and went down to check coats and boots finding Buffy's were missing. "I'm calling Giles." She called to Tara moving to the phone she quickly punched in the Watcher's number.

"Good morning." The Watcher answered on the second ring.

"Good Morning, It's Madalene." She identified herself immediately. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if Buffy was over there?"

"Over here? No, I've not seen Buffy since last night." Giles clarified quickly. "Is there a problem?"

"What time did she leave your place?" Madalene started to worry more.

"I'd say about 11." Giles replied picking up on the Spellcaster's tension.

"It's just... I just need to speak with her." Madalene tried to act more calmly not wanting to worry him until she knew for sure there was something to worry about. After all Buffy was an adult, she had every right to stay out whenever she wanted.

"Well I'm sorry Madalene but I'm not sure I can help you." Giles apologised. "Have you tried her cell phone?"

"I was just going to." Madalene admitted the hint making her breath a sigh of relief. "I'll talk to you later, goodbye." She ended the conversation softly and hit the receiver to activate a new line and just as quickly punched in Buffy's cell phone number.

"Found her yet?" Tara mouthed as she came down the stairs pulling her coat off the coat rack.

Madalene shook her head as the phone kept ringing and ringing.

"I have to go." Tara pulled on her jacket pointing to the door.

"Oh right... do you want me to come with you?" Madalene checked. Her quest for a doctor had been short when she'd found a very nice sounding local GP who was new and had lots of openings. She left the phone ringing in the background

"I'd rather you'd stay with Willow." Tara requested.

"Okay." Madalene nodded. "Take care." She finally hung up the phone.

"I will, try not to worry about Buffy, she's safe for sure, I mean I know the Hellmouth isn't a great place but at least, you know, there's nothing big out there that's after her." Tara tried to make Madalene feel better.

"Right." Madalene gave an awkward smile.

"Okay I really have to..." Tara stopped as the sound of a key being slipped into the lock silenced her. Stepping back out of the way she looked expectantly at the door. It opened slowly to reveal Buffy her hair pinned up in a messy knot. She was wearing a large baggy grey sweater and rolled up grey joggers.

"Buffy." Madalene breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did I miss something?" Buffy looked at Tara and Madalene with a frown.

"No, you're breakfast is up in your room." Madalene shook her head. *Do you still want me to stay here with Willow or go with you?* She asked her cousin.

*Stay here.* Tara smiled and glanced at Buffy. *She might need to talk* She slipped into the door way behind Buffy. "I have an appointment." Tara apologized as she headed out.

"Oh okay." The Slayer shrugged.

"Are you hungry?" Madalene looked to the stairs. "I can check the coffee I brought you is still hot." She looked at Tara. *Call if you need me.*

"Right, thanks." Buffy moved off towards the kitchen.

"Buffy, you're tray is upstairs." Madalene corrected closing the door behind Tara.

"Oh right." Buffy slipped up onto a stool and rested her head in her hands for a moment.

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" Madalene checked closing down her mind to any of the usual 'where were you, whose clothes are you wearing' type questions.

"No thanks, I'll get one in a minute." Buffy rested her chin in her hands.

"Are you eating down here?" Madalene moved to the stairs.

"Look its great that you're doing so much, you know with everyone, but I don't need a cook or a nurse maid." Buffy held her hand up and pushed up off the stool.

"I'm sorry, I thought perhaps I was just trying to be your friend." Madalene snapped back slightly annoyed by the comment.

"You are my friend." Buffy contradicted. "But that's all." She stated jogging to the stairs and moving past the Spellcaster.

"Excuse me?" Madalene questioned sharply after her.

"You're not my mother Madalene, you don't have to watch the door for when I get home, or ring my cell phone when you check and find my room empty." She pulled the small cell phone out of her pocket and waggled it. "I'm going for a shower." She pushed it away again and jogged up the rest of the stairs.

Madalene hesitated for a second but seeing the blonde was doing one of her famous stab and retreat she stalked up after her.

"You're right Buffy I'm not your mother, and I'm sorry that you have mistaken concern for your well being as some attempt by me to control your life." Madalene pointed out firmly. "But don't worry; you've proved you're a big girl now." She turned to go check on Willow.

"Sorry?" Buffy stopped and turned staring at Madalene from her bedroom door.

"You heard me. I'm not going to stand her and be attacked because I made you breakfast and happened to be concerned that while out fighting the insane Spike or the other nasty creatures of the world you might be hurt." Madalene filled in. "I hope you had a good night, I'm glad you're not hurt... have a nice day." She turned again.

"This so isn't worth it." Buffy shook her head and went into her room slamming the door.

Madalene made a fed up noise as well as she stalked down the stairs.

Rather sceptically Willow poked her head out of her room looking around at the now quite area. Slowly she moved over to Buffy's door and knocked on it lightly.

"Yes?" Buffy pulled the door open. "Oh Will." The Slayer breathed out her voice softening. "Sorry, hi."

"Hi." Willow looked at her sheepishly. "Are you okay?" She asked her voice soft.

"Yeah." Buffy breathed out again and opened the door more. "How's my decorating friend?" She smiled more naturally.

"A little stuffy from the pain fumes." Willow wiggled her nose.

"You should get Tara to make you some of that ointment she used to." Buffy encouraged.

"I think she's getting some stuff while she's out." Willow looked curiously at Buffy's outfit. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again her voice quiet.

"I snapped didn't I?" Buffy sighed and sat down on her bed.

"At Madalene?" Willow questioned but her head was nodding as she followed her in and sat down next to her.

"I didn't mean to." Buffy admitted. "Its just you know…" She sighed again picking at her comforter.

"You don't like her croissants?" Willow questioned looking at the breakfast tray.

"I don't like the thought of her worrying." Buffy shook her head.

"I don't think she means to she just worries a lot." Willow shrugged.

"Yeah." Buffy frowned. "I'll apologise, when I've had a shower and changed."

"And I think she likes being homey." Willow put forward the other shred of evidence. "Her and Tara have some big make Dawn a quilt for her birthday plan."

"That's nice." Buffy nodded. "God I'm making such a mess of things." She sighed again and then laid out on her back.

"You want to talk about it?" Willow said gently lying down on her side a distance away from the Slayer watching her.

"About which bit? About the fool I made of myself last night, about my mess up this morning?" Buffy began.

"Either." Willow gave her a soft smile. "Unless you don't want to talk to me." She retreated a bit afraid that Buffy didn't think she was stable enough to have any kind of important conversation.

"Well last night, I turned up at Christians place at ten to midnight." Buffy sighed staring up at the ceiling.

"Christian the guy from the Bronze?" Willow clarified.

"Uh hu." Buffy nodded.

"And?" Willow cocked an eyebrow.

"And what?" Buffy turned on her side to look at Willow.

"These aren't yours." Willow pointed out astutely pulling the long sleeve on her sweater.

"Nothing happened." Buffy clarified shaking her head. Willow nodded waiting for her to continue. "He was really nice, I didn't do a lot, talked a bit, cried a bit, ranted a lot." She blinked. "Then slept." She leaned her head down on the pillow.

"Why were you crying and ranting?" Willow asked sad for her best friend.

"Because my life sucks." Buffy sighed. "I mean, not in a major way, I mean how could it, I have Dawn, you"

"Then in what way does it suck?" Willow nodded as the added statement made her relax a bit.

"Sexually, romantically, personally." Buffy summed up.

"You wish you were with someone?" Willow made the obvious connection.

"I don't know." Buffy shook her head. "I just..." She sighed again. "The last person I slept with was Spike." She frowned. "What does that say for my social circle."

"You've become a lot more picky since then." Willow smiled at her.

"Or a lot more, not asked out." Buffy shook her head.

"That's my fault not your fault." Willow said ashamed as she sat up.

"What do you mean?" Buffy sat up looking at her.

"How could you go on dates with the crazy redhead?" Willow looked at her.

"Willow, don't." Buffy frowned hard. "You went through a tough time, it's hardly surprising." She shook her head. "And I'd go through my life single if it meant you were safe and happy forever."

"That's why I know you won't spend your life alone." Willow admitted softly looking at her best friend. "You hide too big of a heart in there Slayer girl."

"Thanks, but Christian managed to turn me down." The Slayer sighed.

"Maybe because you weren't exactly in a sexy mood and he didn't want you to think he was using you?" Willow smiled.

"You mean he was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of little old me?" Buffy tried to smile in return.

"Being a girl loving girl, it's not very good to take advantage of a girl you like when she's vulnerable." Willow nodded.

"Talking of girl loving, you and Tara seem good." Buffy smiled more easily.

"We are." Willow smiled brighter. "She's so sweet, she's going to the doctors to get a physical so that my silly Willow brain can stop worrying about all the silly stuff I thought up in my future world."

"You got a one in a million there Will." She patted her best friend's hand. "Then again, so did she."

"Do you want to talk about the other thing?" Willow looked over at the tray.

"Madalene?" Buffy glanced at the tray too and Willow gave a nod. "I think I was a complete bitch in her future world and she's trying to be nice to me to make sure I don't turn into one in the here and now." Buffy poked at a corner of croissant.

"She told you that's what you were like?" Willow's eyes opened in surprise.

"No." Buffy shook her head, "Just guessing."

"Maybe you should ask her." Willow pointed out the obvious.

"I think it's best we just forget it." Buffy pushed the tray a little further away.

"Whatever it was you have to remember it was all filled in by your brain, I mean in my version everyone was gay." Willow laughed lightly.

"Everyone?" Buffy arched her eyebrow.

"Dawn was dating this gorgeous psychiatrist named Christine." Willow laughed lightly.

The news made Buffy laugh.

"And me?" She asked.

"Actually you were lucky you got to be bisexual." Willow laughed more. "You were with some guy at that moment but you'd been with..." Her voice tapered off as she realized what she was going to say. "A girl, in the past."

"Wow I didn't even manage a stable relationship in your world." Buffy laughed at herself.

"Actually it wasn't your fault, her and Faith had this thing." Willow tried to make her feel better.

"For a minute I thought you were going to tell me it was Faith." Buffy wiped her brow.

"NO!" Willow giggled. "Though same hair colour." She mused with a laugh. "Distinctly different personality."

"So what was my guy cute?" Buffy checked.

"Never saw him." Willow giggled. "I told you my world was very, very boy light." She smiled and giggled more. "You were too busy drooling over your ex."

"Ah so not only did I not have a stable relationship, you never saw my boyfriend, how familiar does that sound?" Buffy laughed, again at herself.

"Well my world was focused on Tara." Willow defended.

"As it should have been." Buffy smile in soft encouragement.

"What hottie did you have in your world?" Willow poked her playfully.

"What I want to know is did any one remember Midnight?" Buffy commented before arching her eyebrow. "What on earth makes you think I had a hottie?" She asked fussing the dog who had wandered in when the Slayer had mentioned her name.

"Because your future is bound to have a hottie." Willow shrugged.

"Or not." Buffy pushed off the bed. "I was heading for a shower, better get to it before I offend the lesbian noses in the house by smelling of boy." She laughed.

"We're used to you stinky Slayer." Willow smiled. "I'm stealing your juice." She pulled it off the tray. "Come on Midnight, let's go to the backyard."

The tall slim dark haired doctor pushed her short blunt hair behind her ears and moved to put the chart down on the side.

"Well Tara, I would say you are a very healthy young woman." She summed up with a smile. "Is there anything specifically you're concerned about?"

"Oh you know, the usual things that play on ones mind health wise." Tara smiled. "Heart, blood pressure." She had to admit the doctor had been more than approachable and friendly.

"Is there a history of either being problems in your family?" The doctor checked the first likely risk factor.

"My mother had a congenital heart defect." Tara nodded.

"Have you had any symptoms that have made you worry? Shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness?" The doctor got up and moved to her desk pulling out some papers.

"No, not at all, I just have a very protective and easily worried partner." Tara shook her head.

"I see." The doctor smiled. "Well you're blood pressure was perfectly normal, but I can do some routine blood work and if you really felt like going over the top we could run a stress test but they are quite expensive and in your case I wouldn't say necessary."

"I had a lot of tests when I was born." Tara nodded that she had expected so much. "I just wanted to be able to go back to her with, you know, a medical opinion."

"I think you are fine, but everyone can do with blood tests and a yearly physical. In fact if everyone in Sunnydale is as healthy as you I'm going to be a bored doctor."

She handed Tara a script for the laboratory. "We have a centre in the next office that can do that."

"That's great." Tara took the slip of paper. "Doctor…" She asked not moving for a moment

"Yes?" The doctor sat down giving her a chance to talk.

"My partner, Willow, recently suffered a break down." Tara began and the doctor gave an understanding compassionate nod. "She has a specialist, at the hospital, I was just wondering, she might find it hard to return to the doctor she had before..."

"I'm a family doctor Tara, and I'm more than happy to be your family's doctor if you would like me to be." Dr. Roti put forward with a smile.

"That would be great." Tara smiled brightly. "It would just help I think, knowing that we could come with each other and everything." She explained.

"Perhaps it would put Willow's mind more at ease if she could hear the official opinion that you're in tip top shape in person if she needs too." The doctor smiled. "And I hope that between her specialist and me we can help her feel a lot more stable about things."

"That would be so kind." Tara nodded again. "You do realise you might regret this when you're looking at our third daughters ear infection."

"Miss. Slean that is exactly whey I got into medicine." Dr. Roti smiled more. "Now let's get these blood tests out of the way so you can get home to Willow."

"Yes. Thank you" Tara pushed up and slipped out still smiling.

-x-

Madalene had tried every single trick that she knew to find a calm and balanced headspace. She had on drum music from Tibet, she had a homemade mixture of herbs simmering in one corner that usually put her to sleep if not relaxed and she was in a perfect pose breathing in and out of her nose. Of course, none of this was helping. She could feel her stomach tied in a definite solid knot and her mind was a jumble of jagged contradictions.

The angry part of her wanted to drag Buffy out of the shower and tear a patch off the apparently all knowing all bitchy Slayer. The scared part of her wanted to pack a bag and disappear into the faceless world that she had lived in prior to her arrival in Sunnydale. The logical part of her brain wanted her to figure out how exactly they had been able to do what they had done. No one should be able to displace six people into imaginary futures without a concrete and powerful spell. No two simple women should wield that kind of power, but yet she was left with the obvious fact that they had.

The thing that was almost most distracting was that despite all that was already revolving around in her troubled mind, part of her was still very focused on the past. The past that had eluded her, until her drunken binge and now haunted her constantly.

"How can I know who I am to be, if I don't know who I was?" She asked herself falling back to rest her back on the bed unfolding her legs from the pose she was in. She gave a loud sigh reaching up to rub her eyes. "Who are you Sarah?" She whispered putting her arms out at her side and trying to concentrate to bring the illusive woman's face forward.

Madalene barely had the words out of her mouth when she felt a cold still breeze blow over her, she could feel the skin on her arms goose bump up and she closed her eyes trying to figure out where it was coming from. The smells of her room soon faded away to be replaced with the gritty taste of dirt road and the vague rot of the falls leaves that were piled high in the ditch near to where she was standing.

"Standing... next to a mailbox." Madalene felt her thought go sideways as she looked down at her own body, seeing the long denim skirt she was wearing and a pair of simple leather shoes. She suddenly felt the weight of the books she had in her arms and she took a deep breath.

*Tara?* She tried to send the thought out hoping that however she'd done this to herself she could cut through it and reach Tara, but nothing came back at her. Just the cries of a wayward crow as he lifted off from the power line above her and headed into the grey morning sky. Without thinking she turned over her left arm, looking at the silver wrist watch she was wearing and instantly realized she was waiting for the bus. A bus she somehow knew was running late. She pulled her dark grey cardigan more around her body trying to cut the breeze that was chilling her slowly.

"It won't be here for an age." A soft friendly voice said from beside the Spellcaster.

"Sarah." Madalene turned the voice resonating recognition within her instantly. She brushed her hand up trying to get her long hair to behave in the wind. "Why is it going to be late?" She questioned looking up at the taller girl, feeling her heart beat faster and she clutched her books tighter to her chest.

"It broke down." The tall girl smiled a smile full of bright white teeth. "And I thought I told you before, it's Texas, unless you're trying to irritate me."

"I'm not, sorry." Madalene shook her head, a blur of taunting and teasing from faceless school children made her feel small and afraid. "Texas." She turned away a bit.

"Hey, hey come on now, I was just joking around with you." The taller girl took steps closer and put her hand on the Spellcaster's shoulder. "What's the problem M?" She scooted round in front of her and bobbed down on her haunches. "Have you been getting flack again?" She asked seriously her bright eyes suddenly intense.

"A little." Madalene found her regular mind caught up by the intense look of those eyes as the words spilled out of her. "You know how Sally and her crew can be. Apparently I'm fashion dork of the year."

"Yeah cause like she'd know." Texas shook her head. "M, you're as cool as you can be in this hole." She added giving the Spellcaster's arm a soft rub, "Hell, I like ya, that says a lot."

"I like you too." Madalene still found herself lost in the soft eyes as the hand on her arm made her stomach do little flip flops.

"Cool." Sarah pushed back up to full height and smiled at Madalene. "So I can steal my sister's wheels if you want a ride to school." She grinned again her eyes lit with a background fire.

"Would she mind you doing that?" Madalene smirked lifting her head a little higher.

"I only got grounded two weeks last time I was caught." Texas grinned even brighter.

"Texas, I don't want you to get grounded." Madalene shook her head.

"Yeah, you don't want to go out with me either, but hey it doesn't stop me pestering you does it." There was a mischievous gleam in Sarah's eye.

"I don't want to go out with you because I know you're not serious." Madalene started to walk down the dirt road towards Texas' family farm.

"No you see missy you got that one backward." Texas gave chase. "You won't go out with me because you're afraid I am serious." She smacked Madalene's ass lightly and then sprinted off up the dirt track..

"SARAH!" Madalene felt the light pain flare across her backside. "That's so not fair." She ran after her. They were basically back to Texas' driveway before she managed to catch up. "You're not serious." Madalene panted a bit out of breath swatting her on the arm.

"About what? Stealing Sis' wheels?" Texas arched an eyebrow. "Damn right I am, I'm determined they're going to get me a set of my own, how else am I supposed to convince them I need some?"

"Come on then, I'm cold Sarah." Madalene purposely used her real name smirking.

The taller girl suddenly stopped and turned, pulling Madalene to face her.

"I know that's not what you meant." She looked down into the Spellcaster's eyes slowly licking her lips as she ran both hands up Madalene's arms, shoulders, and then cupped her chilled cheeks. Madalene felt the world around them melt away as she looked into the taller woman's deep eyes.

"And I'm this serious." Sarah breathed before bending forward slightly and pressing her lips softly, but fully over Madalene's.

The Spellcaster felt her eyes slip closed as warm lips, apparently unaffected by the cool wind pressed to hers. She felt herself press up a bit on her toes, wanting to keep the contact that she'd seen resonate through her dreams and fantasies.

"So which do you wanna take?" Texas pulled back and released all contact with Madalene's body, flicking her wild hair over her shoulders. "The car, or the quad bike? The main or scenic route?"

"Scenic route." Madalene breathed out trying to catch up. Her brain flicked between the two other options, the car would be warm but the bike would put her closer to the girl who had just kissed her and basically made everything in her mind and body focus on that one fact. "I don't have my coat, car I guess." She finally made the decision.

"You know when ever you speak, the words that come out of your mouth, aren't the words your eyes say." Texas observed with a soft smile as she pulled a long suede coat off a hook on the barn door. "Put that on." She tossed it to her, and then pulled on a short dark work jacket. Whistling as she guided the mud stained four wheeled bike from the back part of the barn. "So I ask you again…" She glanced at Madalene, the bike, and a white van out on the drive. "Bike or car?" She grinned.

"Bike." Madalene put her books down inside the door and moved to pull on the long warm coat; she smiled as she did up the buttons smelling the familiar scent of Texas on the collar. "But I do want the scenic route." She picked up her books and walked over to put them in the back saddle.

"You know, it's just me." Texas smiled and plucked the bike keys of a small silver hook near a work station. "You can say anything to me M, even those things your eyes want to say." She smiled tenderly a strange look for the brash and confident woman. "And bike it is, plus the scenic route."

Madalene waited for her to get on and rev the engine to life before she moved up behind her and wound her arms around Sarah's waist.

"If the bus is late then we can be late." She leaned up a bit and tucked her chin close to Texas' neck whispering into her ear.

"Does that mean I finally get an answer to the longest standing question ever?" Texas turned in her place a little to look at Madalene.

"Ask me again." Madalene looked back at her feeling a wave of confidence and a feeling that she belonged fill her usually awkward body.

"Okay then." Texas gave a nod then turned back around and unexpectedly revved the engine preparing to pull off.

Madalene pushed back down onto the long seat, tightening her grip. Texas then turned the engine off and again swivelled in her place to look at Madalene grinning cheekily,

"Oh wait, did you mean now?" She winked.

"I might have." Madalene rolled her eyes.

"Ooooh in that case." Texas athletically swung herself off the bike without touching Madalene, landing upright on the floor beside the bike. "Madalene Slean." She announced loudly. "Oh wait..." She put her hand up and stopped, dashing off to the back of the barn.

Madalene sat there wondering what was going on.

There followed a series of bangs, thuds and light crashes. Then there came a soft curse from Texas, before she reappeared moments later with a black oily streak down her school skirt, and over her cheek.

"Look at you." Madalene shook her head. "What are you doing?" She moved to pull a tissue out of her pocket.

"Gorgeous?" Texas offered with a bow. "Getting you this." She produced another helmet from behind her back. "I can't ask you out without giving you a symbol a token of my love." She held it out.

"Your symbol is a crash helmet?" Madalene took it confused.

"Hey, hey, respect please, that was until five seconds ago, Henrietta our prize layer's nest." Texas grinned again with a mouth full of white teeth. "That's a joke by the way." She added quickly as she watched Madalene's nose curl at the thought.

"So is this you asking?" Madalene put the helmet on her lap.

"No wait, there's the big explanation." Texas shook her head quickly. "I bought that." She pointed at the crash helmet. "To match this." She went behind the close work unit and pulled out a matching helmet. "So I could give it to the only person, who I wanted to share my bike with." The tall girl explained. "And well I know I've not got a bike yet but..." She looked at Madalene. "But that person is still you." She explained and then paused. "That was kinda me asking." She added in case the Spellcaster had missed it

"Then my answer is yes." Madalene held the helmet tighter after the explanation the answer made in a soft voice.

Texas stood for a long minute just looking at Madalene.

"You sure?" She checked looking a little surprised.

"You're not asking to make fun of me right?" The Spellcaster felt her eyes dip down a flare of worry making her insides twist.

"No, I'm asking because I look at you and I think wow, that girl makes living here worth while, her smile makes every day a little bit easier to live with, and the dreams I have with her, they make the future fightable for." Texas looked solidly at Madalene.

"And that's why I said yes." Madalene looked back up. "Now come on, scenic route." She smiled and pulled on the helmet.

"Scenic route it is." Texas smiled too, pulled on the matching helmet and climbed back onto the bike, gunning it quickly into life, and pulling out of the barn with a hearty roar.

Madalene held on tight as they sped through the fields and into the forest. She felt fast and free, freer than she ever had in her entire life.

"Sarah." She carefully leaned up calling over the wind and the engine to get her attention when they were deep in the forest.

Texas immediately slowed the bike, and brought it to a graceful stop.

"You okay?" She asked flicking up the visor on her helmet.

"Yes." Madalene nodded feeling herself taking her courage in both hands almost. She pulled off her helmet and got off the bike, noticing how the wind here in the forest was almost totally gone with the shelter of the trees. "It's just nice here." She fibbed slightly as she reached out to undo the clip on Texas' helmet.

"Well yeah it is." The taller girl agreed easily, pulling off her own helmet as Madalene unfastened it. "You sure you're okay?" She checked not breaking eye contact.

"Yes... it's just... what you said." Madalene ran the heartfelt words over in her head again as always impressed and awed by how honest and courageous Sarah was. She stepped closer so Texas' leg pressed against hers.

"Made me sound like a dork and scared you off a mile?" Texas tilted her head to the side slightly.

"No." Madalene shook her head softly. Taking a slow breath she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Sarah's.

The pair kissed for a long blissful moment, until Texas pulled back a little.

"What I said made you want to kiss me?" She smiled slightly. "Note to self." She added. "Be honest more often." Sarah reached out and played with dark hair.

"I like it when you're honest." Madalene nodded shifting around so she could sit on the gas tank and turn to look at Texas.

"Then perhaps you should try it to sometime, it might suit you as much as it does me." Texas offered with a soft non judging smile.

"I'm not as good as you with words." Madalene offered softly.

"Then we'd better make sure I can always see your eyes." Texas rubbed her thumb lightly over Madalene's forehead. "'Cause they never lie." She leaned in and kissed the Spellcaster's forehead gently.

"I won't ever lie to you Sarah." Madalene vowed softly.

"Good." Texas smiled brightly, "Because I'm Sarah Cutter, the girl you never lie to, remember that, okay?" She dabbed the end of Madalene's nose.

"The girl I never lie too." Madalene repeated the words as the memory rushed away and with a soul bruising shudder she felt herself come back to her body. "Oh Goddess." She shuddered startled and swung up, her leg catching the lamp on the side table and literally kicking it across to smash into the far wall. The Spellcaster didn't even realize what she had done or heard the noise; she reached a shaking hand up to her forehead, trying to hold onto the memory of Sarah's face clearly.

"Madalene?" Buffy was out onto the landing holding high a broad sword the second after the clatter. "Mad's are you okay?" She called again bouncing quickly and lightly down the stairs.

"I-I-I'm fine." Madalene tried to keep her voice even but the uncertainty in it was obvious.

"No you're not." Buffy finished coming down the stairs and laid the sword on he carpet, hurrying over glancing at the shattered lamp stand. "What happened?" She asked trying to see if Madalene was hurt.

"Oh the lamp." Madalene tuned into it briefly but as the memory of who Sarah was superimposed by the memory of how they died she felt her eyes well up with tears. "I-I must have fell asleep, I had a d-dream." She tried to explain but her voice was choked by the tears streaming down her cheeks suddenly.

"Easy, easy its okay." Buffy dropped to her knees by Madalene and without thinking wrapped her arms around the crying woman, she began rocking her softly. "Nightmares suck." She whispered gently, stroking the Spellcaster's hair. "What was it about?"

"The past." Madalene whispered back feeling her body buckle with the sobs as she leaned heavier against the Slayer.

"But you don't..." Buffy stopped. "You mean it wasn't so much a dream as a flashback?" Gradually the Slayer pulled back to look at Madalene.

"I don't know." Madalene shook her head rubbing at her cheeks.

"Well did you fall asleep?" Buffy pushed a little, as the events of the last few days forced themselves into focus in the Slayer part of her brain.

"I was meditating, trying to focus after we..." Madalene frowned. "I was having trouble relaxing."

"I'll call Giles." Buffy pulled her body away from Madalene and pushed up right.

"If you think I'm a threat I'll leave." Madalene wiped her cheeks again pulling away to put out the candle in the corner of the room.

"No it's not that." Buffy stopped on the way to the phone. "I meant I would call him to see if he could come over to help you." Buffy stood in limbo between the Spellcaster and the phone. "Madalene I don't know what to do for you, you're a witch, and I don't 'do' witches." She pointed out. "I don't think you're a threat, you or Tara, but I also don't understand." She pressed her fingers to her forehead. "Madalene, I'm the Slayer, I need to understand what's going on, but not because I think you're a threat, I learned a long time ago that this world isn't about black and white, good and bad." She added. "So I'm not judging you when I look to call Giles, I simply don't know how to help."

"its fine, I'll call him in a bit and explain to him." Madalene tried to compose herself but as she looked at Buffy, the fear and confusion was evident in her eyes. "I just need to..." She sat back down on the bed feeling her legs weaken, that feeling making her even more worried.

"Madalene!" Suddenly the front door swung open and Tara rushed in, her cheeks red from running, her hair blown and windswept.

"Tara?" Buffy turned to look at the blonde who was by the Spellcaster's side in an instant. Slowly the Slayer moved over and closed the front door, that Tara had left swinging open.

"What happened?" Tara placed her chilled hand on Madalene's forehead looking over at Buffy.

"I don't know?" Buffy almost went into defensive mode, but managed to calm down, when she saw it was just genuine worry for them both that had made Tara ask. "I just heard a crash, came down and the lamp was broken and Madalene was…" Buffy pointed at the Spellcaster.

"Madalene?" Tara whispered softly stroking her hand back over Madalene's dark hair.

"I just had a flashback." Madalene shivered and swallowed, the small comfort from Tara helping her calm a little.

"From before the accident." Tara clarified easing her back down onto the safety of the couch.

"Yes." The Spellcaster nodded leaning against the back of the couch sideways. "It's okay Buffy, I'm sorry about the lamp." She tried to give the Slayer an out seeing how agitated she was, especially now that she was thinking enough to remember the yelling fest. "I'll go get a new lamp." She added softly.

"Don't worry about the lamp." Buffy shook her head. "I'll…" She put a foot on the first step. "I'll leave you two to it." She guiltily took the easy option out of the situation and jogged hurriedly up the stairs.

Xander tucked his newspaper under his arm and threw the wrapper to his beef jerky in the garbage outside of the Seven Eleven store. He looked around in the dark night making sure that everything looked okay before he started the short walk back to his apartment. He kept his head up and tried to be alert, feeling the stake he had in his jacket digging into his side.

"Come on man, you're a Scooby." He tried to ease the odd anticipation that was stuck in his body. Quickly he moved across the road and headed down the side street towards his building.

"Xander." A voice from the darkness hissed in a hoarse whisper.

"Who's there?" Xander did a quick three sixty putting his hand on the stake.

"Easy, easy big man." From out of the shadows Spike moved, his head bowed, the moonlight reflecting off his shaven head.

"Spike... what the hell are you doing?" Xander hissed angrily as he laid eyes on the vampire.

"No harm, no harm." Spike backed off a little. "I'm a sorry vampire, so sorry." He shook his head.

"Where have you been?" Xander asked him quirking an eyebrow.

"Away." Spike pointed across the alley. "Far, very far." He nodded erratically.

"What is wrong with you?" Xander saw his dirty clothes and messy appearance.

"Shhhsh shhsssh." Spike raised a slightly trembling finger to his lips. "Too loud."

"Too loud for what?" Xander looked around at the deserted surroundings.

"Ears." He looked around.

"Have you gone insane?" Xander put his hand back on his stake.

"A little bit." Spike held his thumb and forefinger lose together. "I just... back... need to see the witch." He looked at Xander his eyes dancing erratically over the younger mans body and face.

"The witch?" Xander eyed him suspiciously.

"Big witch." He nodded. "Need her for a favour."

"Spike, I don't know any big witches." He shook his head. "Go crawl back out of town, you're not welcome here." He pointed out sharply. "And stay away from Buffy."

"Red." Spike hissed glaring at Xander. "I need her."

"Go away Spike." Xander's voice was even sharper. "Willow's not doing magic for you or anyone."

"Not doing..." Spike seemed to stall for a moment. "But the spirits, the spirits whispered her name to me."

"Then the spirits lied." Xander snarled. "Stay away from Willow you crazy man, or I'll turn you to dust." He pulled out his stake

"That would make you a murderer." Spike pointed at him. "Murderer!"

"Spike, shut up." Xander warned him.

"I have to go, go now, and find a witch." Spike turned and scampered into he darkness.

"Great." Xander sighed. "Why does stuff like this always happen when there is a good movie on the late show?" He started to head towards Buffy's.

Xander pushed into the Summers' house quickly, he was a man with a purpose.

"Buffy?" He called out wanting to locate her immediately.

"In the kitchen!" The Slayer called back over the noise of the blender.

"Whatcha making?" Xander came in looking at her.

"Soup." Buffy looked up with a carrot in her hand. "I'm trying to follow a recipe."

"Wow domestic... but the soups going to have to wait Buffster." Xander took the carrot away. "We've got a problem back in town." He waggled it at her.

"Bugs Bunny?" Buffy arched an eyebrow.

"No, but similar teeth. I ran into something on the way back from my jerky run before Survivor." He explained.

"You know if I didn't know you better, I'd be worried by the line 'Jerky run'." Buffy smiled at the young man

"Beef, very good." He pulled some out of his pocket. "But that's beyond the point, Spike is back." He hissed the last words softly.

"And he's insane," Buffy nodded picking up a carrot herself and nibbling off the end

"How did you know? Did you get psychic Slayer powers?" Xander's eyes went wide.

"He was here, last night."

"Hello, code orange alert, why wasn't I told?" He frowned.

"Xander, we have bigger problems, Spikes clearly insane right now, I've told Giles, we know that he's chipped, it's all not a problem." Buffy shook her head.

"Ah then there is something I know that you don't know that is worrying and means orange alert, he wants a favour from Willow." Xander made wavy worried gestures with his hands. "He said the voices told him to come to her and she'd do magic for him."

"He wants Willow?" This caught the Slayer's attention.

"Yes, he said he needed me to bring Red to him, that the voices told him to get her." Xander filled in. "So hello insano Spike is after Willow? I say panic."

"Okay." Buffy felt her inner body panic but managed to concentrate. "We can't panic about this." She breathed in. "We need to find Spike, while at the same time keep Willow in a safe place."

"So we keep Willow here and you go stake him?" Xander made the easy suggestion.

"I can't stake him." Buffy frowned.

"Buffy, he wants Willow." Xander underlined.

"We don't know why he wants Willow." Buffy pointed out.

"He wants Willow for magic." Xander reminded. "How can that be good?"

"He can't hurt her." Buffy stressed trying to formulate a plan.

"Buffy this is Willow, who until a short time ago could hurt herself with a tissue. Do you think it would be so hard for Spike?" Xander shook his head.

"The chip." She tapped her head. "He can't hurt her." She underlined. "What we need to do is find out why he wants her."

"Find out he wants who?" Madalene came in carrying an empty tea cup.

"Xander's seen spike." Buffy glanced at her.

"Are you going to find him?" Madalene moved over to rinse the cup.

"I said she should go dust him." Xander piped in.

"Xander, that isn't helping." Madalene looked at him with a little headshake.

"I need to find him yes." Buffy looked at the Spellcaster.

"Do you want me to come with you? We could do a homing spell." Madalene offered.

"Are you feeling any better?" Buffy raised an eyebrow slightly.

"I'm fine." The Spellcaster assured her. "This way Xander can stay here and keep an eye on things."

"I can do that, with a big axe." He underlined.

"I have chocolate brownies in the oven, that's all you're getting." She patted his arm.

"Xander listen when Madalene tells you that you are not helping." Buffy looked at her narrowing her eyes a little. "The house is protected, he can't get in."

"Okay I'll stay and have brownies." Xander nodded.

"I reinforced the barrier just this morning." Madalene reassured him. "Just let me get a coat, okay?" She looked at Buffy.

"Okay." Buffy nodded quickly and then turned to Xander. "I mean it Xander, don't hurt him." She looked into Xander's brown eyes.

"Fine, fine, but if that chip is bust and he tries something all bets are off." Xander gave the condition as the oven beeped and he went to take the brownies out.

"Okay." Buffy nodded, "Oh and…" She glanced up. "Don't tell the girls."

"Make this easy." He whined screwing up his face.

"There's no reason for them to think anything, Mad's and I have just gone out on patrol, and you were lonely." Buffy gave him a cover story.

"And I heard there were brownies?" Xander added hoping to fill out the story.

"See you're a born story teller." Buffy patted his arm. "Thanks for going over here so quickly Xander." She added softer. "You're a real friend." She nodded.

Madalene walked beside the Slayer as they moved down the path, following the vague magical trail that had appeared after her spell.

"He seems to be going in circles." She commented as they headed into a deeper part of the forest.

"Yeah." Buffy nodded. "Mad's…" She glanced at the Spellcaster and sat on a head stone. "About earlier…"

Madalene hung nearby, she hugged her arms around her body a bit and nodded that she remembered the event.

"I just wanted to you know, apologise." Buffy frowned a little unevenly.

"I'm sorry too." The Spellcaster nodded softly.

"I was the ass."

"A little, but with all that's been going on maybe I was trying to overcompensate a bit too much." Madalene stepped a bit closer to where Buffy was perched.

"You know what I said about you not being a 'risk' or anything, I meant it." Buffy stressed.

"It means a lot to hear you say that." The Spellcaster smiled gently. "But you were right that we need to get to the bottom of this and figure out what has gone on, so that you know and so that we all can be better prepared."

"This afternoon, what happened?" Buffy asked softly.

"Honestly?" Madalene checked coming to sit on the tombstone next to her and Buffy nodded.

"We're friends, friends tell each other about things." The blonde added softly.

"When I went downstairs I was so pissed off at you, I could feel all this emotion bubbling around so I tried to meditate to calm myself because I knew it wasn't doing either of us any good." Madalene began. "Brought out the best herbs and the most powerful chant tape I have, but it wasn't working. I was just too wound up, so I started thinking... thinking about what had happened to us all, about the future verse... and then about the past. I guess questioning myself made a memory open up."

"So you willed yourself to remember something?" Buffy tried to understand.

"I started to remember but it wasn't like memory, it was the way the day was cold, the way the rotting leaves in the ditch smelled, the emotions of being about I guess sixteen and feeling lonely and unsure." Madalene nodded. "Then she was there, and I, at first it was the me I am now talking to her, but then it all just merged into the memory and I was me but the me living the memory." She took a slight breath. "Before the flashback started, I asked who are you Sarah to myself and the memory ended when she told me." Her voice got quiet.

"She did?" Buffy looked shocked.

"It fit with what was going on." Madalene picked up a blade a grass. "She stated she was Sarah Cutter, the girl I was to never lie too because she could always see the truth in my eyes." She looked sadly over at Buffy.

"I'm sorry." Buffy looked sadly back.

"It's not your fault." Madalene shook her head and reached out to pat Buffy's arm. "It's nice to have a clearer picture of her face."

"Was she… pretty?" Buffy asked.

"Yes." Madalene nodded again. "Tall, very athletic and short red hair." She gave a gentle smile as the woman came more easily into her mind's eye. "Very tomboyish." She laughed. "She gave me a motorcycle helmet as a token of her affection."

"Well it's different." Buffy laughed softly.

"I think I was more than a bit geeky and awkward at sixteen so Goddess knows why she wanted me." Madalene chuckled.

"Well you know, at sixteen things can look kinda different." Buffy smiled thinking of her own choices of that age. "And anyway, look at you now…" She smiled more."You rate high on the good catch scale for sure."

"A slightly older geek and just a smidge more awkward?" Madalene commented at the same time. "I am not a good catch." She laughed hearing Buffy's statement. "I have none of the essential qualities, I'm not gorgeous, not a rocket scientist, I'm not particularly brave or mysterious." She looked at Buffy. "And besides who can compete with you."

"I'm so not a catch." Buffy's laugh was slightly hollow.

"Why not?" Madalene stood up and moved over to stand a few feet in front of her. "You're courageous, you are loyal, you are intelligent and better than that you have sound opinions and values you will not waver on, you are caring and honest, and you are quicker to blame yourself then others. See I'm not even listing your best qualities, that was just a start." She smiled softly.

"Yeah and look…" Buffy glanced over her shoulder. "People are just lining up." She shook her head. "Thanks for the spirit raising pep talk, but I know that I'm not exactly the best girl around."

"You can shrug off what I'm about to say as cliché Buffy, which is totally fair but why would you want a line up of maybes rather than waiting for the right one." Madalene smiled and moved over to a headstone picking up a leaf that had blown up against the face of it.

"Maybe I had the right one already and let him go." Buffy pushed up off her resting place and pushed her hands into her pockets.

"If he was the right one Buffy, he'll come back to you." Madalene assured her. "Things that are meant to be don't care what we do to screw them up along the way."

"Though I have one question..." Madalene turned her voice could only be described as caring. "Are you okay with Spike being around?"

"Am I okay being around a guy who would have raped me if I weren't the Slayer?" Buffy shivered.

"This isn't about you being the Slayer." Madalene walked back to her. "This is about you being you and what he tried to do. I can go look for him on my own if you like."

"I want to face him." Buffy shook her head. "I want to know where he's been, what he's been doing, and I want to know..." She breathed. "I need to know I can face him."

"I can understand that." Madalene supported her softly.

"And I want to know why he wants Willow." She added the third reason.

"She's too vulnerable to be pressured by anyone for magic." Madalene again agreed without much pressure.

"Exactly, and things are going great for her." Buffy nodded. "I don't know I just want to wrap her and Tara up you know?"

"Put them in a perfect bubble house and keep a forty foot high electric and magic fence around them?" Madalene smirked.

"Yeah that'll do." Buffy laughed.

"See I've been thinking." Madalene tapped her head. As she did she looked up and a shadow crossed behind the tomb a short distance away. "Buffy I think I saw something." She pointed in the direction.

"With you on that one." Buffy nodded her voice dropping lower. "Stay here in the open." Buffy advised her creeping into the shadows.

Madalene nodded, more accustom to this than she ever thought she would be.

Giles peered out his the large back patio door a bit suspiciously. He kept hearing this odd tapping noise but every time he looked out there was nothing.

"Make yourself known or leave me be." He said loudly his breath causing condensation against the glass as he held the stake behind his back..

"Spare some change governor." Spikes unmistakable voice called quietly from the thick dark night. The vampire was sat on his haunches in the middle of the yard, a small pile of rounded pebbles at his side, matching the ones that were randomly littering the Watcher's patio.

"Spike?" Giles cautiously opened the door looking at the dishevelled vampire. "What are you doing?" He didn't step outside just yet.

"Just a little change Sir." Spike looked up at Giles, fixing him with haunted eyes.

"This is not funny, tell me what you're doing back in Sunnydale." The Watcher walked out down the porch a bit looking at him suspiciously.

"Every man has his 'ome gov'nor." Spike frowned a little. "Even a bad man like me has to have a place to rest 'is 'ead."

"Are you hurt?" Giles walked closer hearing the odd tone and strange wording he was using. This wasn't the usual bravado and hardness that Spike liked to show off to everyone.

"You have to help me." Spikes tone changed as Giles mode it to his side, he looked up with a more recognisable glint in his eye, his voice back to the solid broad British the Watcher was used to. "I need help Giles." He said clearly but didn't make any kind of move towards the other man.

"What do you need help with? Spike, you've been gone for months, no one has heard from you. Where have you been?" He questioned keeping a little distance, the stake still behind him.

"I did bad things, had to leave." Spike shook his head. "Had to leave to become good." He rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead, his eyes losing their clarity and sharpness, to once again become misted.

"Spike, if you don't start talking more sense I'm going to leave you out here." The Watcher warned gruffly afraid all of this was an act.

"Can't you see?" Spike looked at Giles pushing up to stand. "All around me." He turned in a circle looking all around. "Inside me." He said putting his hands onto his chest.

"What is around you... inside you?" Giles quirked an eyebrow.

"Humanity." Spike hissed, and then giggled like a child.

"Humanity, Spike you're making absolutely no sense." The Watcher shook his head. "Has something happened to your chip?" He started to worry more gripping the stake tighter.

"Chip? the chip, ooh the chip that makes the spider a fly. He shook his head. "I'm still a fly, see." H began moving his arms in a small flapping motion moving round and round in small circles.

"Spike." Giles tucked the stake in his pocket. "Get a hold of yourself." He stopped him from flapping around. "Where have you been?"

"Ask me another." Spike tipped his head and looked at Giles a little vacantly. "Like, like, what was the name of the first person I…" He shivered. "Ate."

"Spike!" He snapped sharply reaching up to hold the vampire's chin. "Where have you been? Tell me right now."

"I know them you know, the names." Spike's eyes danced erratically even though the Watcher held his head still. "Every one, I didn't used to, but I do now, because of it." He beat one hand hard against his chest., "And I can hear them, 'please William, no William..." Hhe went a little limp in Giles' hand.

"Because of what Spike? What is inside you?" Giles pushed him holding him up.

"My soul." Spike's eyes flared wide before closing, the whole of the vampire's body going limp as he passed out.

"Bloody hell." Giles worked to keep him from landing in the grass more out of reflex than anything. Awkwardly he began to carry him into the house.

Madalene followed behind Buffy as they went up the Watcher's walk and without hesitation the Slayer pushed inside the house.

"We're here Gi..." Buffy's voice trailed off when she entered to find Giles stood in the lounge beside a tied up Spike who lay apparently unconscious on the couch. "Okay, wasn't expecting that." She added her eyebrow arched high.

"Is that..." Madalene walked around the Slayer a bit looking at the gaunt creature.

"Spike." Buffy nodded. "Minus the peroxide hair we used to rib him about." She moved forward a little. "Giles?" She asked the Watcher for an explanation.

"Buffy, I don't know what to tell you other than he seems crazy and was ranting about having a soul." Giles looked up shaking his head.

"A soul?" Buffy's eyes narrowed as she moved a little closer still. "Is that possible?" She looked at her Watcher in shock.

"Angel has one, so I assume yes it can be done in more ways than one." Giles nodded taking another sip of his brandy.

"There's a magical test I can do." Madalene put forward softly. "I read about it recently."

"Do it." Buffy waved her hand in Spike's general direction.

"I need a few things." Madalene looked at Giles. "You might have them in the study."

"Let's get everything you need then." Giles pushed up and moved to follow her.

Madalene could feel Buffy's stare shifting between the back of her head and Spike's still unconscious body as she scratched the pencil across the piece of parchment paper. She could almost feel the 'hurry up' that was on the tip of the Slayer's tongue getting ready to pierce the air so she did her best to make the sketch of Spike she was doing accurate but not necessarily a masterpiece.

"You both should stand back a bit I don't want this to be influenced by you." Madalene instructed and she waited until they were both nearly in the hallway before she moved the chair she'd been sitting on away.

Carefully she buffed the small square mirror up so that it had no fingerprints or other impurities on it and she put the pencil down to the side.

"Actually sorry Buffy can you sit him up." Madalene realized it would be a lot harder to do with the vampire lying as he was.

"I'll turn him on his head if you need me too." Buffy pointed out moving to sit him up and lean his head so that he was looking at the Spellcaster.

"Thank you." She was happy when Buffy went back to the hallway without prompting.

She placed the picture behind the back of the mirror and ripped it off to be about the same size before she stood directly in front of Spike and held it at arms length away from her in between the two of them so that Spike's face was reflected in the mirror as it was portrayed in the drawing behind.

She held her arms tight, breathing in and out of her nose slowly as she centred her power and then opening her eyes and staring deeply almost through the vampire she spoke.

"Revele Alma." She said the words firmly as an order and with a flash the vampire's eyes momentarily popped open forcefully before he slumped to the side again.

"And now we see." Madalene turned towards them and licked her lips. She slowly pulled back the mirror to show the picture beneath to Buffy and Giles.

Unlike before instead of just being black charcoal on white paper, the image of Spike was surrounded by a yellow glow and a splodge of yellow hovered over his eyes and in his throat.

"Very Andy Warhol, but what does it mean?" Buffy arched her eyebrow Madalene turned it around and frowned.

"He's telling the truth, he has a soul." She interpreted the image. "And it's his, because it's centred over his eyes and throat, believed by some to be the conduits of the soul because of vision and speech."

Buffy staggered back a little till her back hit the wall.

"How? Why?" She felt her legs shake a little as she looked between Giles and Madalene.

"I don't know." Madalene answered softly keeping eye contact with the Slayer and moving the picture out of her sight. "We'll figure that out though Buffy." She assured her seeing just how shaken the news had made the usually strong Slayer.

"If this is right, all of it." Buffy looked at Giles. "Then Spike's in trouble, Angel went completely..." She stopped. "What can we do for him to help?"

"Sedation." Giles nodded. "I'll move him down in the basement. We can secure him and figure out a way to deal."

"Sounds like a plan." Buffy nodded happy that for now at least it was all that they could do. "Madalene and I should be heading back, keep him here Giles and please keep an eye on him." She gave her Watcher an almost tired look. "We can't let him out of our sights, he's a danger to himself as well as others."

The Watcher nodded that he understood this clearly.

"Not a mention to anyone who doesn't know." Buffy glanced around at the small group. "About Spike, about him being here, or about the soul." She stressed. "We're going to have to tread carefully with this one." She looked around again and this time received two somewhat reserved nods. "Right let's get back to the house." She turned to Madalene. "After you." She nodded at the door.

Willow walked through the hallway intending to go upstairs but as she heard a vague curse come from the dining room she stuck her head around the corner to see Madalene frowning at her silver laptop.

"Is it not behaving?" Willow asked walking into the room.

"I don't think it likes me." The Spellcaster frowned.

"Computers aren't big on the like or dislike thing, they just do what you tell them to do." Willow replied. "Oh sorry, it's the virus checker, it's just doing an auto upgrade."

"Maybe I just shouldn't mess with it." Madalene shrugged.

"No, no it's fine, just minimize this and there you go, so what were you trying to do?" Willow questioned.

"Just some research on the internet.' Madalene replied simply.

"Best to use my Galileo, it does a consolidated search through all of the major engines." Willow brought it up for her. "Is it anything I can help with?" She added the offer with a smile.

"Actually I was trying to see if North River had a town newspaper. I had a lead for something there to do with our heritage." Madalene smiled as Willow pulled up a chair and started tapping away at the small keyboard. In seconds the redhead had them at the homepage for the North River Herald.

"Wow." Madalene smiled. "So anyway what are you and Tara up to?" She asked turning the focus away from the page.

"We're looking at school stuff for next year." Willow smiled. "Maybe you could take some courses with us."

"Why don't I do what I have to on here and then come up and see what you can tempt me with." The Spellcaster made the offer with a smile.

"Great." Willow nodded and pushed up moving off towards the stairs again.

As soon as Willow had left the room Madalene turned back to the computer, locating the search box she quickly typed the name Sarah Cutter and hit enter.

"I think I miss you already in those classes we're not taking together." Tara admitted as she piled the course notes and detail booklets together into a large pile, then leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "What did Mads say when you mentioned school, oh and have you had a chance to mention it to Buffy yet?" She added adjusting her pony tail slightly.

"Madalene said she'd come up and look when she was finished on the laptop," Willow filled in. "And I haven't had a chance to corner Buffy on it yet."

"I can't believe how weird this all feels." The blonde admitted. "You know, going back to school, everything." She glanced around. "Thought…" She paused. "There's one thing that doesn't feel odd." She looked at Willow smiling.

"What's that baby?" Willow looked back at her curiously.

"Being with you silly." Tara grinned. "Do you think everyone's going to be okay after the whole time shift thing?" She questioned seriously. "Is Dawn any better with you?"

"Not really." Willow frowned. "It's like she's mad at me for something but I don't know what I've done." She frowned harder. "And Buffy isn't herself at all."

"I know I wish there was something I could do." Tara frowned too. "I feel so, so responsible." She looked down at the floor.

"It's not your fault." Willow shook her head. "And Madalene is researching; I mean even right now she's looking at the North River herald for stuff."

"The North River herald?" Tara looked confused. "How does she think that will help?"

"I don't know." Willow shook her head. "I just helped her find it."

Tara sighed again, just as the phone on the bedside table began flashing. She reached out and picked it up and after a brief conversation put it down again, her frown even deeper than before.

"Where's Buffy." She asked of the redhead.

"In the backyard doing Tai Chi." Willow looked at her curiously. "Who was that?"

"The school." Tara pushed off the bed and pulled on a cardigan.

"Oh God is something wrong with Dawn?" Willow went from flushed to pale in an instant.

"She's been in a fight." Tara moved to the door. "That was the principal. He needs Buffy to go to the hospital." She pressed quickly down the hall.

"Hospital?" Willow squeaked the word her body starting to shake as horrible options began spinning around her head. She could feel the tips of her fingers going numb and her vision starting to narrow with darkness seeping into the edges, making her feel like passing out.

It was fortunate that Tara turned around before going down the stairs. One glance at her lover told her that all was not well. She hurried back to her and gently cupped her cheeks with soft steady hands.

"She's okay, just a banged head, a few stitches." She explained her voice soft and gentle.

"She's hurt." Willow underlined what her brain saw as the fundamental point not yet focusing on Tara's explanation or proximity.

"Willow, baby." Tara's voice softened even more. "Listen to me, she's okay." She gently moved her hand up and over red hair in a light stroking movement. "Just a little bumped and bruised."

"Whooooo?" Willow felt the logical question form on her lips.

"Who?" Tara tried to make sense of the question. "Who beat Dawn up?" She assumed. "Some girl in her grade, I don't know the details." Tara kept her answers simple but honest.

Willow gave a little nod as she slowly leaned against the wall.

"Sweetie, I need to go tell Buffy." Tara frowned, not wanting to leaver her lover, but knowing the Slayer needed to know ASAP.

"Go." Willow nodded that she would be alright before Tara slipped away.

Buffy walked quickly down the hall towards the room the nurse had pointed out. She opened the door and entered without hesitating but she was careful not to slam it against the other wall.

"Dawn?" She asked quietly seeing the tall teenager was sitting up on the bed but facing away from the door.

Slowly Dawn turned her head and looked at her sister. There was a neat row of stitches across her forehead over a slight lump, her eye was red and her lip split.

"Hi." The teenager talked mainly from the uninjured side of her mouth.

"Are you okay?" Buffy moved closer to examine the wounds.

"It hurts." Dawn admitted looking more fourteen than two months shy of eighteen.

"I bet." Buffy pulled up a chair and reached up to stroke Dawn's hair. "What happened?"

"Justine was bad mouthing people." Dawn frowned. "I tried to let it go but…" She sighed.

"What did she say?" Buffy tried to get a better picture, after all Dawn wasn't exactly the type to pick a fight.

"Stupid stuff." Dawn shook her head gingerly. "About…. About gay people." She admitted quietly.

"Oh." Buffy stiffened a little. "Well some people are just ignorant Dawn."

"There's a difference between ignorant and rude." Dawn frowned painfully. "She was talking about Willow." She clarified.

"About Willow?" Buffy was confused. "How would Justine know about Willow?"

"Her big sister is a nurse." Dawn replied uncomfortably.

"A nurse." Buffy growled and then tucked the information away. "It's okay Dawn, whatever she said wasn't true, and it's okay that you defended yourself and Will."

"She never said it was Willow, but I knew that's who she was talking about." Dawn explained a little more. "She was going on about this crazy redhead her sister told her about, who's girlfriend died, or rather 'got some sense and left her for a man' as the popular train of thought is. Talking about how weird she was and how all lesbians are psychos, too ugly for a man to want."

"So did you clean her clock?" Buffy gave her a lopsided smile.

"I think I broke her arm." Dawn replied. "I didn't mean to get into trouble." She added quieter.

"I talked to the Principal, you're on a two week suspension, and so are the other four girls involved. It's a mandatory rule." Buffy filled in. "But no slacking, I'm going to get Will to get some work together for you."

"I'll do extra house chores too." Dawn offered.

"We'll see." Buffy rubbed her hand over her sister's hair again. "You ready to go home?"

"It hurts." She underlined as she nodded to the question. "I don't know how you do this all the time."

"I have painkillers and cream for you." Buffy pushed back so Dawn could get down. "And I'm the Slayer Dawn, I have to do the pain thing. By the way, how did you break her arm?"

"I used the move you did on that Fargo demon." Dawn grinned.

"We'll talk about that later." Buffy tried not to smile as her attention was caught by a slight scene outside of the room.

"Ow, it really hurts." A young woman's voice whined as she was moved down the corridor on a gurney.

Dawn looked to, just as a taller brunette was pushed passed the window, her arm in a new cast up beyond her elbow.

"That's Justine." Dawn winced as she shuffled towards the edge of the bed.

"How are your knuckles?" Buffy asked seeing the shiner the girl had.

"Sore." Dawn admitted. "Does everyone know?" She asked quietly.

"Tara got the call." Buffy nodded. "Hold on just a second okay?" She added pushing out of the room as she saw someone she recognized. "Nurse Lois?" She stepped into the corridor.

"Ms. Summers." There was a flare of recognition in the young nurse's eyes.

"I was hoping we'd never have the reason to bump into each other again." Buffy gave her a slightly uneven Slayer smile.

"I do hope you're not here for any reason too serious." The nurse remained polite.

"Picking up my sister, seems she ran into some ignorant girl at school, who was mouthing off about things she knew nothing about." Buffy watched them slide Justine back into her room. Lois' eyes followed Buffy's as she visibly paled and backed up slightly.

"My sister is young and foolish Ms. Summers." She quickly put in. "I am sure whatever was said wasn't meant."

"I can understand young and foolish. We've all been young and foolish once." Buffy moved her hands to her hips. "What concerns me more is that she obviously got the information she was spouting from somewhere, and you can understand I'm sure that the director of the psych ward here would be very interested to hear that confidential details about her patients are being openly spread through the city, being used to initiate hate crimes."

"Miss. Summers, I can personally assure you that nothing will ever be said about anyone in the future and that the past indiscretions will be rectified." She frowned. "I'm sure this needs to go no further." She added more than a little hopefully.

"I'm hoping it won't, though perhaps underlining to your sister that tolerance is a good thing would go even further. Oh and a little warning, if she says anything like that in front of Dawn again, I'll break her other arm as well as going to your superiors." Buffy gave a tight smile and then walked with poise back to Dawn's room.

"That looked tense." Dawn admitted with a frown.

"I was just making sure you and Justine didn't have any more problems." Buffy smiled. "Now come on, let's get out of here, Will's worried about you."

"Right." Dawn nodded eager to be out of the hospital too.

"The poor thing looks exhausted." Tara stood next to Buffy looking between the two couches in the lounge, Dawn lay sleeping on one, Willow on the other.

"Which one?" Buffy looked at both of them a little sadly.

"Both." Tara admitted. "Was the principal really cross?"

"He was, but also upset I think because what it was about reflects badly on him and the school." Buffy frowned. "He said he would have liked to give Dawn a shorter suspension but that it was out of his hands."

"No, I understand that I suppose." Tara sighed. "I just wish it hadn't happened you know?" She gave a soft frown. "Buffy…" She added. "Can I talk to you about something?" She looked into hazel eyes.

"Why don't we go into the kitchen?" Buffy asked when she saw the intense look. "What's up?" She asked as she slipped up onto a stool against the breakfast bar.

"To be honest?" Tara began. "Madalene."

"Yes?" Buffy went completely stiff.

"Buffy, please." Tara looked at the Slayer. "I know how hard this must be for you, every time you see her, I did share your future." She reminded subtly.

"I know." Buffy stood up and moved to put the kettle on. "But you don't know how hard it is." She shook her head.

"Well obviously I don't know-know, but I did have to sit through five lectures a week with Willow after we'd split up, and I just know in my head that was insanely hard, ever in my memory won't feed me specific details on it." She clarified. "What I'm saying Buffy is…." She was interrupted for the second time that day by the telephone.

"Hold on." Buffy moved and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Buffy." The voice was Giles'. "I'm sorry to disturb your evening but I seem to have, mislaid Spike."

"What!" Buffy snapped. "When exactly did you mislay him?"

"Well he's spent the day being very placid, even amiable, so I released him to go to the bathroom. A few moments later I realized her was no longer inside." Giles explained.

"Stay there, I'll go find him." Buffy cursed and hung up the phone. "Sorry Tara, I know you want to talk about this but I have to go find a friend of Giles'."

"Oh okay, did Mr. Giles loose his friend?" Tara frowned at the rather odd explanation.

"Long weird story." Buffy pulled on her coat. "He's not from around here." She filled in a little more. "You're okay here right?"

"Fine." Tara nodded. "I might dash out for pizza later."

"Okay." Buffy wasn't really listening as she made a quick dash for the door.

"Hey Mads." Tara leaned over the rail at the top of the basement stairs. "I'm just going out to grab pizza. Could you keep an eye on Will and Dawn for me?" She asked as she pulled a pair of soft brown gloves on.

"Of course, but do you want me to go?" Madalene came out of her room, she looked a little fragile, and her eyes showed that she had been crying sometime in the last few hours.

"No, oh Goddess, Mads what's wrong?" Tara instantly jogged down the stairs to her cousin.

"What? Oh nothing, I'm… I was going to talk to you later. It's okay though." She gave her a soft smile. *I promise I'll explain it.* She added softly in her mind.

"No, no it's only my rumbly tummy dragging me out." Tara stressed. "It can wait for pizza goodness, what's going on?"

Madalene slipped her hand into Tara's and drew her back to her room. They sat down on the bed and Madalene pulled a small book over from on the pillow. She handed Tara one of the loose sheets that were tucked inside the front cover.

It was obviously a print out of a newspaper front page and the headline read:

'Fiery Bus Crash on Route 129'

"Was this…" Tara glanced down briefly and then looked up at Madalene with soft eyes.

"Yes. I'm listed there." She pointed down a distance to a line about the identified dead from the wreckage. "Apparently it was a tanker trunk, not a lot of people were… if I hadn't of been thrown out…" She tried to get the gruesome fact out but she shivered and her words stalled.

"I'm so sorry." Tara said sadly. "I wish… I wish this hadn't happened to you." She glanced at the few pictures of the mangled wreck. "But I have to ask something, why look this up now?" She poised the question gently.

"Because I need to know, I need to know where I come from, who I was, who loved me." She pulled out another article showing some local coverage of a Fourth of July parade. "That's Sarah." She pointed to the young woman who was driving the large green tractor that was pulling a colourful float filled with High School students.

"Oh my." Tara looked at the picture closely, seeing for the first time the woman who haunted her cousin's mind so. "And you." She pointed out immediately to a figure sitting up on the large tire rim just off to Sarah's left.

"I can now confirm that I was a geek." Madalene gave a smile. "And Sarah was a soccer star." She showed her another article about the redhead's team winning the state championship.

"Wow." Tara smiled at the article that had a picture of the team celebrating with their large trophy. "Why didn't you tell Willow this was what you were doing? I could have helped, could have been with you." She looked up at her cousin.

"I didn't want to upset Willow, or interrupt you two." Madalene explained. "I wasn't sure that I'd find anything." She pulled out a smaller piece of paper and handed it to Tara.

Tara read it quickly and felt a lump stick in her throat.

"You were loved." She smiled gently looking up finally from the obituary.

"Then why did my Grandmother bury me in a cellar and leave me cold?" Madalene's voice cracked.

"Because what else could she do sweetie?" Tara frowned softly for her cousin's obvious distress. She moved around and slid her arm around Madalene for support. "She couldn't do the 'normal' thing incase, well incase you came back." She rubbed her hand on Madalene's arm.

"I know… I just… it's hard." Madalene leaned against her.

"I can't imagine how hard." Tara whispered. "Do the papers tell you what happened to Sarah?" She asked quietly and slowly to gauge Madalene's reaction.

"No, I can't find out anything." Madalene's voice was tiny. "That's the only reason I started to look, I want to know her."

"To find Sarah." Tara clarified. "I understand." She added. "But probably after the initial report of the crash things would have gone quiet about it. The only place that could tell you would be the records office."

"I didn't really look anywhere else, I gave up when I found nothing but this." Madalene looked down at the papers in front of them.

"Of course." Tara nodded. "And can I make a small request that you don't look on your own again?"

"Okay." Madalene nodded back. "How is Dawnie?"

"Bruised, sorry, and aching." Tara replied with a soft frown. "Though in a funny way I am so proud of her."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one." The Spellcaster admitted.

"Right, now if you're 100% sure you're okay I'm going to go get your favourite veggie pizza, Buffy should be back soon so I'll get two." She gave Mads a brief hug and kiss before she moved to the stairs.

"Where has Buffy gone?" Madalene questioned following her up. *And I'm okay.*

"Just on an errand for Giles." Tara filled in with a laugh. "A complicated and weird one apparently."

"I'll go check on Dawn and Willow. Our fighter might need some more pills when she wakes up." Madalene moved with her to the hallway but veered towards the living room.

"Perfect." Tara smiled and slipped out of the house towards the Pizza place.

Madalene heard the slight groan from the couch and watched from her chair nearby as Dawn sat up, rubbing at the black eye she had lightly but avoiding the bandage over her stitches.

"Do you need some ice?" She asked softly wishing she could take the pain away.

"No, I… that is, its okay. I guess it should hurt after all." Dawn gave a soft roll of her shoulders.

"No Dawn, that ignorant girl shouldn't have said the things she did." Madalene offered gently causing Dawn to smile a bit.

"She was an ass." Dawn glanced over to where Willow was still sleeping on the smaller couch. "She doesn't have a clue how brave Willow really is, even if she did go kinda crazy."

"She knows one thing for sure Dawnie." Madalene slowly got up and moved over to sit beside her. "She knows how brave you are now."

"How are you doing?" Dawn turned to look at the Spellcaster. "Things must be so weird for you."

"A little." Madalene nodded. "Especially because I'm afraid that wherever you went in the spell showed you a version of me that I can't make up for."

"My future was…" Dawn paused. "Kinda crappy in a general way, not you specific, everyone was kinda screwed up."

"My world was screwed up too." Madalene admitted. "I'm sorry that we managed to drag you into it Dawn."

"Giles said you didn't mean to do it." Dawn shook her head. "And I know Tara wouldn't do something to hurt us." She added confidently.

"We wouldn't, I also wish I could have been there to kick that girl in the butt." The Spellcaster tilted her head and laughed lightly. "Though it's obvious you're a better fighter than me."

"I think Buffy's world must have sucked the most, she's been weird since it all happened." Dawn added thoughtfully.

"She doesn't mean to be Dawn." Madalene tried to comfort the teenager. "And hey, in my world you were happy and successful."

"Yeah, I was in Tara's too." She smiled again. "Looks like everyone thinks I'm doing okay. Well actually I haven't talked to Will or Buffy about it." She admitted.

"I think Dawn that you are a sensitive, intelligent and great young woman who despite the craziness and sadness of your life will rise above it all and become a fantastic woman." Madalene smiled at her. "I know you don't have it easy, but I know you are strong and brave enough to flourish."

The comment made Dawn blush a little.

"I get lonely and scared sometimes." She admitted quietly.

"Everyone does Dawn." Madalene confirmed in a gentle voice. "Even me." She added with a soft smile.

"I can imagine." Dawn gave a sympathetic smile. "What's the place you come from like or do you not know?" She winced at her own slip. "Sorry. I didn't think about the whole memory thing."

"I know a little bit. I keep having memory flashbacks." Madalene revealed. "It was a small town, a lot of farming and livestock. I lived with my Dad and my Grandmother, and my girlfriend's name was Sarah Cutter. But everyone called her Texas."

"Cute." Dawn grinned. "Do you even know if…" She began but stopped figuring she possibly shouldn't interfere.

"If?" Mads prompted her.

"The crash, this is, was she…" Dawn frowned through her half sentence.

"She was with me. The last memory I have of her is her being pulled out of my arms at the impact." Madalene shuddered. "A lot of people died in the crash according to the newspaper article but she wasn't listed."

"I'm sorry." Dawn frowned again. "There's probably a way we could find out if you wanted to know that is." She underlined there was no pressure.

"I do, I think it's important I do." She nodded. "So does my triumphant defender of all women need ice cream?"

Dawn laughed a little too loudly causing Willow to groan disturbed.

"Oops." The teenager grinned. "Have you fed Midnight?" She glanced to the empty dog bed.

"I think Tara must have, but she can stand a little smack too." Madalene smiled. "Do you want chocolate sauce?"

"Damn stupid, horrible vamp." With a head full of steam and a mouth full of curses Buffy walked in slamming the front door.

"Buf-fy." Madalene tried to stop her but the instant the door slammed Willow bolted up, looking wide eyed and petrified at the same time. Dawn grimaced as the noise cut through her tender head.

"Crap." Buffy frowned. "Sorry guys." She tried an apologetic smile. "It's okay Willow, just me." She tried again to smile.

"Tara, where's Tara?" Willow was obviously trying not to completely freak out.

"She's out getting your yummy pizza Willow." Madalene filled in.

"Damn I'm going to really be pissed that I can't find him now." Buffy strode over to the weapons chest, throwing it open.

"Can't find who?" Dawn asked as Madalene sat down to help calm Willow.

"Friends, that is to say Giles' friend, another damn clueless Englishman wandering around Sunnydale." Buffy bluffed badly.

"Oh that friend that came by the other night… Mr… Smith?" Madalene tried to help.

"Yeah Fred Smith, stupid idiot." Buffy scowled. "So when do you guys expect eats to be back?"

"Soon, Tara left only about a half hour ago." Madalene glanced at the clock.

"There usually a line at Pappa John's this time of night." Dawn admitted.

"Well I guess I could stop by the pizza place while looking for…" She stopped frowning. "Where's Midnight? She didn't come for Buffy's come home rubs."

"I don't know." Madalene frowned as well.

"Something's wrong. Tara and Midnight are missing." Willow squeaked and rocked a little in the ball she was curled up in on the couch.

"I'm sure she's here Will." Dawn went and shook the bag of dog treat bones that was on the desk but there was no sound of the usually attentive dog scampering towards the sound. "Buffy?" She looked at her sister panicked.

"She's probably at the little doggies room." Buffy smiled. "Mads, why don't we go take a look for her in the back yard?" She nodded towards the kitchen.

"Dawn, stay with Willow." The Spellcaster nodded and looked at the teenager who scooted over. She quickly followed Buffy out to the other room.

"When did you last see the dog?" Buffy asked her in a tight voice.

"Before Tara left for pizza, a while before actually." Madalene tried to pinpoint an exact time.

"So she's probably just trailed Tara to the pizza place, Hell Tara could have taken her for the walk." Buffy tried to think positive.

"Are you going to go find them?" Madalene checked.

"Of course. I don't want the dog eating my pizza." She kept a casual smile.

"Or mine." Madalene tried to keep the same tone. "Can I bother you to call when you find them?" She asked softly.

"Sure thing, though…" Buffy glanced to the side. "Didn't Tara take the cell phone?"

"We could try it." Madalene moved and dialled the number.

Buffy waited patiently until it was obvious the call was not going to be answered.

"Weird." She frowned.

"Very." Madalene confirmed making an instant decision. *Tara?* She tried to contact her through her thoughts.

*Mads?* The shaking reply came through.

*Tara, are you okay? Where are you?* Madalene looked instantly worried.

*I don't know.* The blonde witch replied. *It's dark, rusty and smells bad. This someone took me.*

*Who? Are you hurt?* Madalene leaned against the counter a bit shaken. *Did they say why they took you?*

*They're ranting, I feel I should know them but…* Her voice trailed. *He wants me to get rid of something for him.*

*Does he have a shaved head and a trench coat?* Madalene realized who it must be.

*Yes.* Tara instantly confirmed. *He's upset.*

*Stall him Buffy is on her way.* Mads assured her. "Spike has her." She hissed at the Slayer.

"What?" Buffy blinked in shock. "Tara's not stupid enough to go anywhere with him."

"Buffy!" Madalene grabbed the Slayer by the arm and urged her out onto the back porch. "Spike kidnapped her." She hissed in a sharper tone.

"I'm going." Buffy moved down the steps. "But there's an explanation I know there is."

"Just find her and bring her home, I'll stay with Willow and Dawn. Tara would want them protected." Madalene nodded ignoring the explanation comment.

"I'm gone." Buffy nodded and jogged away.

To Buffy's surprise she was met at the end of the street by Midnight. The lab instantly jumped around her whining and pawing at the Slayer's jacket.

"You know where she is don't you?" She patted the dog's head. "Come on then, find me Tara." She made a motion and dropping to the ground Midnight started to a slow run down another street.

Fifteen minutes later Buffy had had enough of crawling through sewer pipes and storm drains. Every time she was about ready to give up the wild goose chase, Midnight would come back to pull at her jacket and lead her down into another area.

The dog's pace started to slow when voices echoed from ahead. Buffy dropped down a bit and crept forward, signalling for Midnight to stay back. She soon had a clear view of Spike and Tara. Her stomach sunk as she saw that the blonde witch was chained to a rusty run of pipe that spanned the room. She felt Midnight creep up beside her, the dog's fur stiffly on her back.

"Spike!" Buffy snapped as she jumped over the small dividing wall into the dimly lit area.

"Buffy you came… came to help… came to tell her to take it away. She must take it away." He clawed at his chest turning to show that he was vamped and had bleeding cuts across his neck.

"What's going on? Why do you have Tara chained up?" She started to walk towards the blonde.

"The witch must help. The witch must take it away." Spike pointed at Tara and moved to block Buffy's path to her. "She won't do it, but she has too, she must." He took a step towards Tara snarling.

"Spike!" Buffy scooted forward looking at Tara and then the vampire.

"You're Spike?" Tara blinked wide blue eyes at the gaunt vampire. "Oh Goddess." She said quietly. "I'm sorry." She added looking at Buffy.

"It's okay Tara." Buffy shook her head. "Spike, I know you have a soul and I know it hurts." She kept a soothing tone.

"You don't know, don't know how it burns, it burns for you." Spike wailed pulling at his shirt tails. "She has to make it stop." He kneeled down in front of Tara. "Take it out." He demanded of her.

"Spike, I can't take your soul back, I don't know how." Tara frowned, shaking her head at him.

"The spirits said you could, you must, I don't want to hurt anyone, if I hurt them it's your fault now." He pleaded with her before his demeanour changed again. "Fix me bitch." He snarled at her.

"Spike." Buffy stepped forward her voice tight. "Let Tara go now." She demanded.

"Please Buffy, make her take it." Spike turned to her. "I'll be a good doggie." He scampered a little towards Midnight, who growled at him causing Spike to growl back.

"Okay this is going to stop now." Buffy took a step closer to Tara. "I'm taking Tara home and taking you back to Giles."

"Witch, she's going to destroy me." Spike moved over to Tara. "Fix me so I can defend myself." He grabbed Tara by the shoulders shaking her.

"Get off her." Putting her hand firmly on his shoulder she pulled him backwards away from the blonde.

As he stumbled back on his feet after being put off balance, he turned and hit her square in the face with a hard punch.

"Spike!" Buffy raised her hand to rub the stinging spot. "You don't realize what you're doing." She tried to remain calm. "Now just let me free Tara and then I can help make it hurt less." She offered trying to get him to co-operate.

"The witch is mine." He started towards Tara who tried to pull as far away as she could.

Unable to do anything else Buffy moved over to pull him back again. She ducked the punch that followed her move. She came back up and struck him with a sharp jab that drove him back to the far wall.

"I love you." He hit her with a quick spinning kick and then tackled her so her body was drove against a rusty ladder fastened to anther wall.

Buffy felt the pain flood her body and her instincts took over. She kneed him and struck him back with an elbow, following the blow with other solid punches that made his head snap from shoulder to shoulder. Before long she had him pinned against the ground her stake in her hand and pulled back ready.

"Please Buffy, end me. It burns too much, little Sally Ann is burning my eyes." Spike whispered going limp.

"I…" Buffy screwed up her face and instead of pushing the stake home, she thumped him on the side of the head and knocked him out cold. She pushed up and turned to Tara. "Are you okay?" She asked moving over and quickly snapping the chains to free her.

"I think I am." Tara was shaking when Buffy helped her up to her feet. "What are you going to do with him?"

"I'm going to take him back to Giles." Buffy confirmed with a nod and then she whistled for Midnight. "Tara, can you get yourself home? Midnight will go with you. The sooner I get him some place secure the safer it will be for everyone."

"If you think that's best." Tara nodded and she walked over to Midnight who began to lead her out.

-x-

Madalene tucked the soft quilt around Tara carefully, knowing she was being much fussier then she needed to be but still having a cold feeling in her stomach from when she'd seen the blonde at the front door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked softly.

"I think so, thank you for drugging Willow. She didn't need to see me like this." She shivered again, an oddly haunted look in her blue eyes.

"I didn't drug her. I just gave her one of the pills that help her relax." Madalene corrected, after all Willow had willingly taken in. "What happened?"

"I… I was on the way to the pizza place when he… he approached me, started talking nonsense… I didn't recognise him at all…" She frowned. "He was ranting about the pain he was in, and how it burned and I was his Jesus, his saviour."

"He has a soul." Madalene nodded that she understood.

"Buffy told me, well tried to get him to see and understand." Tara explained. "I thought for a moment he was going to kill me." She shivered hard under the blanket.

"He's not going to hurt you Tara, I promise you." The Spellcaster underlined. "I'll go see him at Giles and fix this."

"Buffy made sure he's secure." She outlined the Slayer's plan. "She didn't want anyone hurt."

"You are my main focus right now." Madalene reached up to brush blonde hair off Tara's forehead.

"I've never seen a vampire before." Tara breathed out and shivered. "That is I'm sure I must have but… his eyes were so cold."

"He has a chip Tara. He couldn't have killed you." Madalene tried to soothe her. "But yes he was scary. Do you want to try one of Willow's sleep pills?"

"But he did hurt me." Tara admitted as she moved her hands out from under the blankets, pushing up her sleeves to show the angry scabbed slices on her wrists from the cuffs and one angry scrape up her forearm. Small finger shaped bruises were beginning to rise on the skin. "When I pointed out I didn't want to be tied up, he was a bit… crazy."

"Oh…" Madalene's brain faltered. "Let me get you some antibiotic cream." She fretted. "And Buffy and I will take care of him." She felt her stomach turn with the idea of what could have happened.

"Thank you." Tara gave her a weak but genuine smile. "It's been quite a day huh." She added with a tired smile.

"Yes." Madalene agreed. "Which is why I think half a sleepy pill would do you wonders. I'll sleep up here and keep an eye on the two of you."

"You don't have to do that." Tara shook her head though it was obvious that she was grateful for the offer.

"You are my family. I will do anything to keep you safe." Madalene kissed her on the forehead. "Now let me get the cream and your pill."

Unlike her earlier entrance, when Buffy came in this time she did so silently, slipping off toward the kitchen without the benefit of lights. She slid onto a breakfast stool and leaned her head into her hands.

"You okay?" Madalene whispered in the dark from the shadowed doorway.

"Why are you still up, only fiends and people like me are up at this hour?" Buffy replied her voice tired.

"I'm the latter." The Spellcaster clarified. "Are you okay?" She repeated the so far ignored question.

"I've had better days." The Slayer admitted glancing over to where Midnight was asleep in her bed. "How's Tara?"

"Asleep, I gave her one of Willow's pills." Madalene explained. "I didn't think she'd sleep without it."

"She's okay." Buffy rubbed her temple. "She's had worse scares than that." She seemed to shrug it off.

"No, actually she hasn't." Mads came into the kitchen and stood across from her. "The worst scare she's had since coming back are worries about Willow, Spike was her first vampire run in."

"Oh shit." Buffy cursed sharply. "I completely forgot about that." She admitted. "Damn." She cursed again. "I guess sending her home on her own wasn't a smart move either then." She frowned harder.

"No, it wasn't." Madalene leaned forward in the dark and snarled. "Not unless you wanted to add the first traumatic memory to her new memory. She was shaking like a leaf by the time she got to the door."

"Okay thanks for making me feel that much worse." Buffy looked at her with a scowl.

"Buffy there is nothing I wish I could do more right now then make you feel better but…" She sighed softly. "Fundamentally we have other problems. Spike is a loose canon." She spelled out the true problem. "He can't be trusted even with a soul and the chip, which doesn't work on anyone who is part demon."

"It works fine on humans, demons aren't my concern." Buffy pointed out with a frown.

"Really?" Madalene pulled back and flicked her hand out turning on the light. "Well that is a definite revelation. I'll make sure I look after Tara and myself from now on. Keep him away from here, if I see him anywhere near this house I'll light him on fire."

"Mads what are you… oh shit I didn't mean… you and Tara aren't demons, you're people." She tried to get out of the mess she had created for herself.

"Not to Spike's chip, he hurt her, her arm is all cut up." Madalene explained rubbing her own arm. "What are you going to do about him?"

"Her arm?" Buffy scowled at the revelation. "I doubt that the chip not working has much to do with you're demon make up as much as the fact you've both been dead. It's why he can hurt me." She explained sadly.

"Buffy, I don't care why he can do it." The Spellcaster snapped. "He can't be allowed to hurt anyone, including you."

"He's in trouble Madalene, I help friends in trouble." Buffy spelled out.

"Buffy listen to me, he is not your friend." Madalene moved closer and put her hand on the Slayer's cheek. "I know the lines get blurred sometimes but he is not a friend."

"I… he… I…" Buffy frowned not only at the conversation but at the messages her mind received from her body at Madalene's touch. "He's done so much to help us." She didn't move away.

"You don't own him anything." Mads shook her head.

"Giles has him sedated and secure." Buffy finally pulled back. "I have to get some sleep. I have to go to the high school tomorrow to talk more about Dawn."

"He has to be dealt with." Madalene pointed out letting her retreat.

"He will be, my way." She underlined from the doorway before she jogged to the stairs.

"I wish I could say your way Buffy." Madalene whispered to herself feeling very sad. "But I don't know if I can risk your way."

Dawn wandered into the kitchen to find Madalene in there, fixing what appeared to be toast and a fresh fruit salad for breakfast.

"What's gone on?" She asked picking up on something.

"Just making everyone something nice, you missed out on having yours in bed." Madalene smiled as she placed a tray in front of the teenager.

Dawn eased up onto a stool and looked at Madalene suspiciously.

"I'm not buying it." She shook her head, wincing a little at the residual pain from her 'war wounds'. "Buffy came into my room at like six this morning and told me to stay home all day, no matter what and I know I'm on the whole suspension thing but she never said I was grounded too."

"You're not grounded that I know of. I just think she wants you close to home to look after all of us." Madalene assured her, moving to butter the toast that had just popped. "And you need rest, today you're going to feel worse than yesterday, it's a rule."

"Okay so this is the hard way scenario. I was hoping to avoid." Dawn sighed loudly. "There's something going on and I bet you know what it is because you're the only one being too well non wiggy. Willow's still in partial freak mode and Tara… well Tara's just not right." The teenager assessed. "So come on, do the lesbian valour solider a favour and just spill."

"Dawn, I really am not being hard." Mads shook her head. "I didn't know that Buffy had left until I found the brief 'went out, stay in' note on the fridge when I came down. So I wish I could tell you more solider but this is all I know."

"You are so bullshitting me." Dawn snapped and pushed up from the stool. "Fine, shut me out like you always do, why is it no one in my life takes me seriously?" She pushed her tray away and stalked off. "So much for hoping you were different."

"Dawn." Madalene was a little slow to follow, shocked by Dawn's tone and choice of words. Her moment of hesitation ended and she was able to cut the teenager off at the staircase. "I am telling you the truth, I have no clue what your sister is up to. She shuts me out as much as any of you." She pointed out. "So what I was hoping was that you and I could work to help Willow have a much calmer day, because I know you're great with helping her and perhaps we can get Tara to the doctor to have her arm looked at. Can you help me with those things?"

"What's wrong with her arm?" Dawn eyed the Spellcaster.

"Dawn sit." Madalene sat on the step and patted beside her, the teenager slid down beside her. "Tara got briefly kidnapped by a vampire last night, but…" She added quickly. "Buffy found her and saved her and now we just need to keep her safe."

Dawn instantly opened her mouth to say something but stopped, letting Madalene's word sink in a little.

"Spike." She said softly.

"Who mentioned Spike?" The colour drained out of the Spellcaster's face.

"No one." Dawn shook her head. "But I'm right aren't I?" She looked at Madalene. "Spike's back, he took Tara and Buffy stopped him, so where is he now?" She pushed up wiping her hands on her jeans.

"At Giles, tied up. Dawn there is something else you need to know." Madalene couldn't put up a charade when the young woman had already hit the nail on the head. "He has a soul."

"A soul?" Dawn stared at her. "And Buffy knows that?" She checked before over reacting completely.

"Yes, I did a spell to confirm it for her." Madalene nodded.

"A soul makes no difference." Dawn shook her head. "A vampire, a vampire like Spike with a soul only means one thing and that's a crazy insane vampire." She underlined.

"He has been that." Madalene frowned. "Dawn, can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything." Dawn nodded.

"Do you think your sister could kill him?" The Spellcaster didn't put any qualifications on the question.

"This is Spike." Dawn looked at Madalene and chuckled sadly. "He has a chip and a soul. She won't see a reason to kill him."

"Even if he's still a threat with both of those things?" Mads checked.

"Madalene I don't know if you know this but Buffy had sex with Spike when he just had a chip, for all we know now that he has a soul she could be proposing to him." She stated sadly.

"I won't let him hurt anyone Dawn." Madalene vowed.

"I think from your comment a moment ago it's too late for that, is Tara okay? No wait." The teenager frowned. "How could he hurt Tara? He still has the chip."

"Yes, I was too late that time, but I'm not going to let him do anything else." Madalene restated. "I think because like Buffy, Tara and I have rose from the dead that the chip must not protect us from him."

"Stupid useless government chip." Dawn cursed. "Madalene, can I ask you a question?" She used the same tone as the Spellcaster had.

"Of course." Madalene nodded and urged her to sit again.

"Has Buffy told you about Angel?" Dawn played with the cuff on her pants.

"No, not more than who he is, how much she loved him, but nothing concrete." Madalene shook her head.

"He had a soul, he lost his soul, he killed Mr. Giles' girlfriend, put Willow in the hospital, killed her fish." She listed off things for the Spellcaster.

"And Buffy killed…" Mads went to question and then stopped. "Isn't he in L.A?"

"Yes to both of those questions. The former mentioned nightmare he caused was crammed into the long month it took Buffy to decide he actually needed to die." Dawn's voice was caustic.

"But then he was brought back?" Madalene checked.

"Yeah, it gets complicated. Willow gave him back his soul, blah blah blah, now he's in L.A. because he can't be anywhere near Buffy." She vaguely explained.

"Dawn, can you promise me something?" Madalene took her hand as her voice grew serious.

"Something like what?" Dawn frowned slightly.

"If you see Spike anywhere, if he contacts you or you get a weird vibe from your sister, let me know okay?" She clarified.

"Okay, if you promise me something too." Dawn gave a stiff nod. "You'll look after Willow while I get Tara to the doctors?" She gave a soft smile.

"I promise." Madalene smiled back.

"You need to fix this Giles." Buffy paced back and forth on the Watcher's carpet.

"What exactly do you expect me to fix Buffy?" Giles questioned watching her.

"Spike." Buffy summed up. "Come on its obvious what's happened. I didn't love him because he thought I thought he was a soulless monster, so he went and got himself a soul." She sighed. "We both know it's going to drive him insane." She glanced at the door down to the basement. "More insane." She clarified. "Can't you fix him?"

"Fix what exactly? Remove his soul?" Giles retorted. "I'm afraid I wouldn't have a clue how to accomplish that."

"There must be books, spells, he wanted a witch so he must know there's a magical solution." Buffy pointed out.

"Exactly what will removing his soul accomplish? Will he be less of a blood thirsty killer?" The Watcher scoffed.

"He's not a blood thirsty killer anymore." Buffy scowled. "Why is everyone so on about this? He is Spike, the same Spike who helped us a hundred times. He has a chip that stops him from hurting people. Hello Giles, this is old news."

"Excuse me Buffy but his chip does not protect everyone. It doesn't protect you, it didn't protect Tara and I would venture to assume that it wouldn't protect Madalene. The chip is no longer an effective leash." Giles countered.

"Three people verses the population of the word Giles. It's a margin of error better than none." She scoffed.

"Fine Buffy, I will research spells to remove his soul. In the meantime I hope we're agreed that he should remain under lock and key." Giles moved towards her desk.

"Agreed." Buffy gave a quick nod. "I can put a padlock on the basement door. Mads can share with Dawn for awhile."

"Buffy, I believe keeping him in my basement would be a much more suitable position." Giles looked at her surprised by the comment.

"Hello man who has lost him once already." Buffy shook her head.

"Before we were keeping him in restraints and sedated." Giles defended.

Buffy thought about it for a long moment.

"Okay he stays here." She gave a quick nod. "But no slacking off." She added the warning.

"No Buffy, I assure you my meagre life will go on hold to baby sit Spike." He rolled his eyes and moved to get a book. "How is Dawn?"

"Sleepy, well when I saw her at 6am she was." Buffy replied honestly.

"Considering it's not half eleven Buffy perhaps you should go check on her. I'll ring if I find out anything useful." Giles assured her.

"Okay but Giles remember, we don't need this turning into another Angel episode." She walked towards the front door.

"No we don't." Giles watched her go with a sad smile.

Madalene watched the screaming match from the couch as Dawn and Buffy exchanged heated words over what was now being referred to as the 'Spike Debacle'. Of course Dawn didn't want Buffy going over alone to Giles to decide on thing and to counter Buffy would not have anyone else involved as it was apparently 'her problem'.

Having already had a strip tore off her earlier by the Slayer when she'd found out Dawn knew it was Spike that was back in town, Madalene wasn't eager to interject and risk reliving the incident.

"Dawn, let's just do what your sister asks." She injected in a calm tone looking straight at the teenager hoping she would see her hidden point.

"What?" Dawn looked at the Spellcaster with wide brown eyes but before the discussion could continue a new voice demanded everyone's attention.

"If you're trying to make it as hard as possible for me to keep Willow calm, thank you, you've achieved your goal." Using a tone that was unusually sharp for the blonde witch, Tara stood in the doorway with her hand on her hip.

"Again I underline, let's just let Buffy do this her way." Madalene reinforced before looking at her cousin. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"There's something you can all do." Tara sighed. "Stop shouting, stop hiding things and remember that we're all family and that means we're all entitled to support and understanding." She rubbed her forehead briefly.

"This is why I just wanted to go to Giles alone and deal with this." Buffy repeated again. "So I'm going, okay?" She pulled on her jacket. Madalene was the first to nod her agreement.

"Actually Buffy, I'd rather you stayed." Tara challenged looking at the Slayer with bright blue eyes.

"Why?" Buffy managed the civil sounded question before denying the request.

"Because Willow needs you." She summed up not breaking the stare.

"I'll go up and see her." Buffy moved back to the stairs and went up them two at a time.

"She is such a blockhead." Dawn hissed letting herself fall roughly down to sit on the couch.

"I think she's a little torn." Tara breathed out and moved to perch on the chair, rubbing her arm lightly. "Everything is slightly crazy."

"Did you take your pills?" Madalene watched her concerned.

"She's a psycho." Dawn huffed more but her voice was quieter than before to ensure Willow couldn't hear.

"Dawnie." Tara chided her gently just as the doorbell rang and interrupted them. "I'll get it." She added before getting up and moving to check first who was behind it. She returned a few moments later. "Dawn it's for you, Lisa, she won't come in though but she asked to see you."

"Lisa?" Dawn said slightly surprised but she moved off towards the door. "Hi." She pulled it open more and smiled at the short teenager standing there.

"Hi. I just…" Lisa glanced over her shoulder, the move hardly shifting her short cut straight blonde hair. She pushed small glasses up her nose slightly before presenting Dawn with a small rainbow gift box filled with chocolates. "Cheesy I know, chocolates in a rainbow box from the high school dyke but…" She paused. "I wanted to check you were okay, you know?"

"In my house chocolate in any box is appreciated." Dawn grinned. "And I'm okay, just a bit sore. Are you okay?"

"Yes." Lisa nodded. "I'm you know, used to it." She gave a courageous smile. "Comes with the whole rainbow package." She laughed almost self consciously. "I should go, I have a class I coach in swimming at the rec centre." She added glancing down at her matching jogging pants and cardigan.

"Lisa…" Dawn stepped forward a bit. "You shouldn't have to be 'used' to it. What they were saying was total junk." She underlined.

"Well I know that but despite it being 2003 the world is still realistically not advanced as its popular culture would pronounce itself to be." She gave a small accepting smile. "By the way there is no way the world that was your mom right?" She smiled more.

"That was Tara, my sister's best friend's girlfriend." Dawn spelled it out with a smile back. "They both live with us, she's great, I love her and I can guarantee that she'll love the rainbow box, she'll probably want to keep it."

"I kinda guessed you were, you know, okay with the whole lesbian thing. I mean I would have asked around for details on you if it wasn't for the whole new girl and 'dyke' label I have on my back." Lisa pulled the knapsack she was carrying higher on her shoulder.

"You mean the cute rainbow stitch on one?" Dawn winked at her.

"That's the one, though it's such a pain trying to find clothes that match it in the morning." Lisa laughed.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Dawn stepped back a bit.

"There won't be a riot of five year olds at the pool for another twenty five minutes." The blonde contemplated accepting the offer.

"Tones of time." Dawn stepped back to motion her in and Lisa slowly walked into the foyer to allow Dawn to close the door. They walked into the living room first. "Tara and Madalene, this is Lisa Evans, my friend from school."

"Hello Lisa, it's very nice to meet you." Madalene said with a smile.

"Hi again Lisa." Tara greeted.

"You're Dawn's sister's best friend's girlfriend right?" Lisa chuckled looking at Tara who nodded back still smiling.

"You're catching on quick." Madalene laughed. "I'm going to simplify, I'm Tara's cousin."

"Right." Lisa nodded again. "Just you and your sister who are 'non gay'." She made little quotation marks as she said the phrase. "Alternative DVD reference." She added for clarity realizing that none of them might know what she was doing.

"A Family Affair." Madalene laughed getting the quote immediately.

"My mother's already asked if Sunnydale has a PFLAG group." Lisa laughed.

"Who what?" Dawn questioned confused.

"Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays." Lisa explained. "After stamp collecting and quilting, my mom's favourite interests."

"A noble set of pastimes." Madalene reinforced.

"Our house is not group active." Dawn half stated and half apologized.

"I think if most of the household is gay and you all you know live with it, you're considered group active." Lisa laughed happily. "That is as long as you and your sister don't you know burn rainbow icons and things in private."

"Never!" Dawn underlined quickly.

"Dawn and her sister judge people by their hearts Lisa, not by labels." Madalene offered gently to help calm Dawn down. "Now can I get you a drink?"

"No, I have swimming to get too, lots of little people who'll sink without me, not literally because that would be horrible." She put in quickly.

"Well hopefully you'll come by again." Madalene nodded and watched as Dawn led her back to the door.

"Oh lame question, did you go to English today?" Dawn opened the door.

"Yes, truly inspirational. We have poetry homework, I could drop the books around if you wanted." She made the gentle offer.

"Lifesaver, I was just going to ask if you could help me figure out what we need to do. My sister is hell bent that I keep up my studying while I'm on suspension and officially the school won't give me make up assignments." She tilted her head and smiled.

"That's so stupid that you're suspended." Lisa clarified. "But I'll spare you the rant." She stopped herself. "I'll call." She jogged down the front walk realizing she was going to be late.

Dawn waved and closed the door moving back to the living room.

"Nice of her." Tara said as Dawn came back in, she was examining the pretty rainbow box.

"She is… Nice." Dawn nodded with a smile. "She's going to bring by poetry homework for me."

"That's great." Tara nodded. "Is she new to the area or do I have no memory of her for other reasons?" She checked.

"New." Dawn explained opening the box and stealing a piece of chocolate. "It's so wrong that people are mean to her for no reason."

"I'm sure that she was grateful to know she has at least one person in the school that's not so bigoted as to be mean." Tara got a little more comfortable seeming to finally relax a bit as she took a small piece of chocolate. "Have we heard anything about Spike from Mr. Giles?"

"Apparently he's calmer but still insane." Dawn filled in.

"Buffy wants to go figure out the best way to keep him contained. Madalene filled in details.

"I can't believe that he's back." Tara admitted softly before glancing up at Dawn and her cousin. "Well…" She pushed up. "I'd better see how Buffy is doing with Willow."

Madalene carefully carried in the tea to Tara's room, very conscious that the blonde had only just got Willow calm enough to take a pill and hopefully by now relaxed enough to be asleep.

*Is she asleep?* She sent the thought to Tara as to not to disturb the redhead.

*Yes.* Tara replied with a gentle nod. *How is everything?*

*Buffy just went to Giles. Dawn is curled up with a hot chocolate watching the late show, some cool band is on that she loves.* Mads smiled. *It's the lemon camomile that you like.* She laid the tea on the side and carefully perched on Tara's side of the bed.

*We've had better days eh couz?* Tara tried a weak smile.

*We have.* Madalene reached out and took her cousin's hand, rubbing the back of it. *We're going to be okay.*

*Yes.* Tara agreed with a tired smile. *I wish, I wish there was someway I could help Spike.* She added. *Only so he would just go away and leave all of us alone.*

*The goals is to get him away from here so we're all safe.* Madalene agreed. *Buffy will keep us safe.* She said hoping her own doubts wouldn't filter into her thoughts.

*You think?* Tara checked eying her cousin with slightly suspicious blue eyes.

*No. Forgive me but I'm afraid I don't.* Madalene sighed sadly. *It's not her fault but she is so vulnerable to him, he evokes so many things bigger than she can face and in this alone I don't trust her judgement will be quick enough.*

*I imagine it must be hard for her but…* Tara frowned. *Well he is a vampire.*

*He is, and he is insane regardless of some chip in his head.* Madalene agreed. *I just don't know how best to help her without driving a wedge between us.*

*Maybe… maybe we all need to talk to her, you know united front.* The blonde offered. *Or would that be more threatening than helpful?*

*I don't know, maybe you and I? Make her see at least how this is affecting Dawn and Willow.* Madalene offered.

*She'd have to be blind not to notice it's affecting Willow.* Tara glanced lovingly at the sleeping redhead.

*So we'll talk to her when she gets back yes?* The Spellcaster tried to find a compromise.

*Yes, for the good of everyone.* Tara underlined their reason.

Buffy paced the basement back and forth looking at the pathetic figure before her. She was still having a hard time accepting the drastic change to Spike's appearance. His shaved head made him look even gaunter and while his eyes were strangely animated they still held a distance within them that threatened to engulf her every time she looked at him.

"Who did this to you?" She asked again, trying to get some clue as to how she could help.

"Demons, demon sing song, demon give tests, make me whole again." Spike tipped his head to one side almost singing the words at Buffy.

"So a demon did this to you?" Buffy moved over closer to him.

"Lavenders blue, dilly dilly, lavenders green, when I am king, dilly dilly, you can be queen." He grinned at her still singing.

"Spike! You need to tell me everything that happened, and then I can help you." Buffy kneeled down near where he was chained up.

"So beautiful." He looked directly at Buffy. "So beautiful and I'm so bad." He frowned hard looking away.

"You're not bad Spike." Buffy shook her head. "Just tell me how you got a soul."

"I am, I hurt you." He slowly rolled his head back so he was looking at her and blinked. "I didn't mean too."

"Spike focus on right now, we need to make you better." The Slayer tried not to react to the flashback of pain and fear the comment brought.

"I deserve pain." Spike's eyes filled with tears. "If I try I can block out the voices Buffy." He said for the first time sounding normal.

"Good, block out the voices. Spike, block them out and focus on me." She urged him. "I want to help you."

"I don't deserve your help, you should stake me." He frowned.

"I don't need to stake you, unless you do something stupid like kidnap Tara again." Buffy assured him.

"I didn't mean harm." Spike shook his head vigorously. "I thought she was dead, that's how it happened, my crazy mind creating ghosts to haunt me."

"No, she's alive but you have to stay away from her." Buffy spelled out again.

"Yes, yes away." He nodded again and pulled a little on his chains. "Leave the witches alone, all of them, and new witch especially. New witch, she wants to kill me." He hissed.

"New witch… Madalene isn't a killer Spike. She doesn't do that kind of magic." Buffy shook her head trying to get him to relax again.

"Oh." He frowned. "She mind speaks, mind speaks with Tara, mind speaks with demon magic, demon magic turned Spike."

"Spike how do you know that?" Buffy reached out and held his chin.

"Hear echoes, echoes when I had Tara, echoes in my head." He rubbed the side of his temple with the heel of his hand.

"Are you in pain?" Buffy frowned as she saw his arms strain in the chains to touch his face. His wrists were raw and bruised.

"Why am I in chains, am I a bad dog?" He pulled at the restraints.

"You ran away, do you promise to stay put if we find a way to get rid of your soul?" Buffy questioned hesitantly.

"I promise to stay with you." He offered giving her a sad puppy look.

"Well I want you to stay in the basement." Buffy underlined moving to unlock the padlocks that kept the chains in place.

"But I help you, we save the world together." He stressed.

"Not right now, right now you rest while we fix you." Buffy stood up. "I have to talk to Giles, I'll come back down in a bit."

"Okay." Spike nodded and curled up into a ball for a little as soon as he was able too. He began humming Lavender's blue as she moved up the stairs.

"Buffy… Buffy?" An unmistakable singsong voice called softly to the Slayer, pulling her out of the light sleep she had been in. "Buffy, its cold out here, why have you shut me out?" There came a rather pathetic knock on the window.

"What?" Buffy bolted up out of bed confused.

"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's gold, you're warm in bed, dilly dilly, I'm here all cold." Again a gentle rapping came at the door.

"Spike?" Buffy got up and moved to the window, she pulled back the curtain and looked at him.

"It's cold Buffy, cold in the basement, cold out here… I bet it's warmer in there." He looked at her almost whimpering. "The strangest thing happened after you left the glass in the windows in the Watcher's basement all went pop." He made a noise pressing his finger into the inside of his cheek and then flicking it out. "Pop, pop, pop. Like transparent popcorn."

"Go on the lawn, I'll be right out." Buffy snapped at him unable to believe he'd broke out of Giles' basement.

Spike nodded and scampered down from his unsecured perch to sit cross legged in the middle of the lawn.

It took Buffy awhile to get dressed as she grumbled to herself about the vampire's arrival and his obviously deteriorating state of mind. She tucked a stake into her jacket pocket and put a dagger in her boot without thinking before she moved out onto the lawn towards him. Her anger was easily seen as she flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"Come on get up." She pulled him up by the arm forcible.

"Ow, ow, ow, why hurt the Spike?" He frowned, not moving to his feet but rather being pulled across the grass by the Slayer's force.

"Because I told you to stay at Giles, I told you specifically not to come here. Now you go back in the chains." She kept pulling him across the front lawn.

"No chains." Spike tugged his arm back with a hard pull causing Buffy to trip as the weight she'd been dragging suddenly disappeared. "Spike not hurt anyone, Spike done no wrong." He frowned. "Everyone wants to hurt me, for all I've done." He rubbed his knuckles hard against the side of his head. "Spike run, run far away, only came to the Slayer because she is kind."

"Then listen to the kind Slayer, stay at Giles till I can find a way to fix this." Buffy righted herself and urged him to co-operate.

"Spike not safe here." The shaven vampire shook his head. "Windows, demons broke windows, want to hurt Spike."

"Wait." Buffy pulled him up onto his feet by his collar. "Did you break the windows at Giles?"

"No, demons, demon come, pop, dragging me out, blood." He turned to pull up his dirty t-shirt, revealing several slices across his back and shoulders. "I ran."

"I have to go kill the demons." Buffy felt her own vocabulary diminish as she led him over to the garage and pushed him inside. "Stay, stay here, okay?" She stared at him. "I'll go kill the demons."

"I'll stay." He said quietly nodding again. "Safe here." He nodded more vigorously as he looked around and moved over to curl up his back in a corner.

Buffy did one last lap of Giles' yard before she moved up to where the Watcher was standing on the small porch.

"There's nothing, I'm going to head to Willy's and find out who did this." Buffy spelled out.

"I assure you I was about to telephone as you arrived." Giles nodded and adjusted the ice pack on his head. "I'm sorry Buffy, I didn't want this to happen to Spike, are you sure he's not seriously injured?"

"Nothing that won't heal up and it's not your fault. I should have realized that with him being vulnerable now that the multitude of enemies he's racked up here would come out of the woodwork to take a shot at him." Buffy sighed.

"Judging by the power and force I was struck by I'd say you are looking for something considerably bigger than a vampire. I believe there was more than one attacker, I distinctly recall a scuffle coming from the stairs to the basement when I was struck over in the hallway."

"I'll find it, all of them and kill them." Buffy vowed. "Try to rest and call Xander to help you fix the windows tomorrow."

"Thank you Buffy, truly I am sorry I haven't been more…" He paused searching for an appropriate term. "Effective recently."

"Just keep researching." Buffy prompted moving down the walk. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Oh come on, I don't have six heads and I didn't just suggest running away to join a circus." Dawn laughed as she pulled on her denim jacket and started to rummage around in the storage cupboard under the stairs.

"But Dawnie… are you sure it still fits you? Bikes have to be adjusted to height and you've grown a lot." Willow fretted a little.

"Then I'll adjust it silly." Dawn gave her a bright smile as she crawled out of the cupboard victoriously holding a pink and white bicycle helmet. "Though I so need to get a new helmet." She grimaced at the pretty feminine flower stencils around the sides.

"It's… girlie." Willow laughed. "Are you going to take Midnight? A run would do her good."

"Oh cool idea." Dawn nodded and whistled for the lab. "Could you pass me the expandable leash?" She asked putting on the helmet, only to pull it off again to adjust the straps before she could put it on and actually do the chin strap up.

Willow moved over and got the leash. She bent down as Midnight trotted into the hall and clipped it to her collar.

"Okay, we won't be long. If Tara's tummy doesn't settle, the pink pills she used to like are still in the cabinet and Buffy picked up her migraine prescription yesterday so they should be around somewhere, probably still in the bag." Dawn smiled at Willow. "Are you sure you're okay for me to go?" She checked softly.

"I'm fine." Willow nodded. "I'm going to sneak some chocolate from the rainbow box and read the newspaper." She handed over the leash.

"Great plan." Dawn complimented her. "I've no idea when Buffy will crawl out of her pit; she came in so late last night. Well early this morning." She corrected as she pulled open the door, watching as Midnight hurried through, the dog instantly turned towards the garage straining at the leash to get closer. "She sure is a smart dog, how does she know that my bikes in there?" She grinned moving out through the open front door after the dog.

"She's just excited to get to run, you know only Buffy can keep up with her at full pace." Willow laughed moving to close the door.

"Oh you've had it now puppy, Dawn on her super bike is going to show you some speed." Dawn laughed as she moved around the edge of the house, jogging quickly over to the garage door. She pulled the handle lightly at first expecting it to be locked but she was highly surprised to find it moved freely. Midnight was at her side and as she pushed the door open, a low growl emanated from the usually passive dog's throat.

"Easy, I know the cobwebs are huge and the spider's pretty hairy but other than that there's nothing in there that can… AHHHHH!" The teenager's scream pierced the early morning air.

"Dawn!" Willow's scream came a moment later as she ran around, almost tearing the front door open to get to the side of the garage.

Midnight's loud angry growls and barks were enough to get the whole neighbourhood's attention as Dawn's scream still echoed and merged along with Willow's yelling. The chaos caused the top window to be thrown open and a slightly dazed but instantly alert Tara appeared trying to pinpoint the cries and what was wrong.

"Willow sweetie? Dawnie?" She called, pulling her head back before her heavy and slightly uncoordinated footsteps drummed onto the landing and down the stairs.

"Spike's attacking Dawn." Willow screamed when she saw the vampire in the garage and she pulled Dawn backwards away from the door.

The Spellcaster had been in the kitchen when Dawn's scream had pierced the morning. She'd raced around from the back side of the house just in time to hear Willow's explanation.

"Dawn!" The Spellcaster wasn't sure what she could do but she threw herself between the teenager and whatever danger lurked in the doorway waiting to strike.

Tara finally came dashing out of the house, brandishing a large broadaxe and making a noise not dissimilar to Xena's war cry as she rounded the corner.

Willow, by this time, had managed to trip with Dawn over a short hedge leaving the two of them sprawling on the grass and wrestling with one another as Willow tried to cover Dawn with her own body.

In a loud clatter Madalene hit the tool bench that Xander had left in the corner. It was his necessary 'repairing the house after a demon attack' tools and the force of her landing made most of them fall from their places and hit the ground in another loud clatter.

When Buffy managed to get to the door of the garage she was met with a groaning Madalene sprawled out on the floor; a screaming Tara who was still wielding the heavy axe ready to strike; Spike cowering in a corner screaming equally loudly; Midnight barking to beat the band and Dawn trying to wrestle Willow off her wanting in turn to protect the redhead.

"Enough already!" She shouted louder than all of them.

"Buffy… he attacked Dawn." Mads tried to explain as she untangled herself from an extension cord.

"Okay, before anyone loses any non spare body parts, Mads look at Spike?" Buffy nodded to the shivering vampire. "I don't think he was attacking anyone." She shook her head. "Tara do you think maybe you could lower the very attention grabbing axe you're waving around before someone calls the police." She looked at Tara who fell silent and lowered the axe to her side. "Dawn could you control Midnight please." The teenager complied by calling the dog, who somewhat reluctantly obeyed. "Okay great." Buffy breathed out slightly relieved. "Now why don't I close the garage door and we'll all go inside the house for 'Explanation 101' by Buffy Summers."

Madalene cast a sideways glance at the vampire and then moved to Tara's side, following the blonde who led Willow inside.

"Spike, its okay." Buffy said slightly soothingly as she backed up and eased the garage door closed. She moved quickly to follow everyone in before they could start panicking again. "Okay, well this is going to be as good as any way to start this, so why did anyone have the pressing need to go into the garage at 8:30 this Thursday morning?" Buffy looked around at the stunned and shaken faces that regarded her.

"Why is he in the garage?" Madalene asked not addressing the question.

"Okay well apparently the rule of answering questions with answers is not applicable today." Buffy arched her eyebrow in Madalene's direction briefly. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you all when I got in, but I didn't think a note on the fridge would cut it." She began. "Spike's in the garage, as you all know, because he is safe there."

"Tara perhaps its best if you bring Willow upstairs." Madalene turned to her cousin to see that the redhead was more than a little freaked by the worry and confusion.

"I thought he was going to hurt Dawn." Willow squeaked biting her lip.

"No it's okay, Willow can stay." Buffy shook her head and looked at the redhead trying to catch her eye. "See we talked about this yesterday, remember Will, Spike is back but its okay because he still can't hurt people and right now he's very lost and confused." She looked for some small shred of support from her friend, and was relieved to see a small nod.

"Who is going to protect us from him?" Dawn asked pointedly taking off her helmet.

"Dawn." Buffy turned to her sister. "We don't need protecting; Spike can't hurt you or Willow, Xander or Giles." The Slayer tried to give her sister the most confident smile she could. "Right now Spike is in a lot of danger." She tried to make them see the seriousness of the issue.

"Who is going to protect Madalene, or Tara?" Dawn snapped back. "Who is going to keep him from hurting you again?"

"Dawn, Tara and Madalene are as safe as you and Willow, and I can protect myself." Buffy tried again with the 'happyland whitewash' tactic. "Spike has his chip and a soul." She spelled out. "Remember when Angel got his soul he went a bit… wacky." She tried harder. "Spike's wacky right now."

"Wacky?" Dawn looked at her sister with wide eyes.

"Chain him up." Madalene injected the three stinging words in a calm and even tone.

"He's scared of chains." Buffy shook her head.

"Well then perfectly reasonable reason not to chain him up." Madalene stood up. "I'll go buy a cage."

"Okay Mads, is this really helping?" Buffy turned and looked at the Spellcaster disappointed.

"Actually I believe you'll find this my calm and relatively conservative helpful approach. My other approach involves me tying him to the back of the car and dragging him down the street until he turns to ashes." Madalene met the Slayer's look with a cold one.

"I know you have your personal grievances with Spike, but hello? I'm the only one here he's ever tried to really hurt." The Slayer scowled focusing on Mads and somewhat forgetting the rest of the group.

"You may not believe this Buffy, but one of my biggest grievances with Spike is that he hurt you." Madalene countered, forgetting like the Slayer that they weren't alone. "He continues to hurt you and he has no right to do that."

"Who hurts me is up to me." Buffy snapped. "God knows how my slayer mind ever conceived the thought that you and I would stop arguing long enough to fit in hours of hot sex." She huffed without thinking.

"Excuse me, I won't stand by…" Madalene started angrily but then stopped. "Hours of hot sex?" She repeated flustered by the odd comment.

"Dream." Buffy quickly tried to bluff. "Maybe a nightmare, come to think of it we probably went right back to fighting afterwards."

"Excuse me you two." It was Tara who interrupted. "We're talking about why the vampire who kidnapped me three days ago is in the garage."

"Kid-Kid-Kid…" Willow didn't actually finish the word as her hands started to shake and she felt her vision beginning to close in, accept instead of having a seizure she felt her hand close on the handle of the axe that Tara had leaned against the couch. She stood up, the axe flying up to be gripped by both her small hands as she started to stalk to the door.

"Will, kidnapped is a strong term… Will… Willow!" Buffy noticed the redhead's movement almost out of the corner of her eye and she scurried over to block her best friend's path out of the living room. "Remember the whole Spike's a little crazy right now, he didn't mean to take Tara, he just thought Tara could help him not be crazy anymore. I think when Tara didn't know who Spike was, it kind of freaked him out." She tried to make it sound okay. "And he was about to release the chains when I got there to let her go."

"You lied to me." Willow screeched at the Slayer as she heard the lame explanation. "He could have…" He eyes went harder. "Get out of my way." She growled.

"Willow, just put the axe down. I didn't lie; I just didn't want you to worry. Tara's fine." She glanced at the blonde for support, but her eyes never got that far as the closest person to her became Dawn who had raced forward.

"Buffy you are such an ass." The teenager threw the helmet on the floor and moved to Willow. "Give me the axe Will." She requested the weapon from the redhead. "I think a Summers woman should do what the other one can't."

"Okay stop!" Buffy shook her head at both of them not moving out of the way. "I might not have told the whole truth and having Spike in the garage might not be a great idea but damn it I'm trying. Demons want him dead, I just want him okay and away from us all and apparently all of my friends and family are joining the demons side on this."

"I think the consensus is to find a new place to keep him alive, if you feel driven to do that." Madalene came over and took the axe from Dawn before she handed it safely to Buffy.

"There is no where else." Buffy took the axe gratefully.

"Seal the garage." Tara said her voice low and calm.

"Hello?" Buffy flashed a look of pure horrification. "I'm not bricking Spike up in the garage." She said flatly.

"Magically seal it Buffy." Tara corrected. "So that demons and vampires can't get in and Spike can't get out." She glances around for other thoughts on the point.

"Perfect, what do we need for the spell?" Madalene looked at her cousin thinking out loud.

"Well the vampire lock out we know inside and out, the demon version just requires a glyph and I'm thinking reversing the ethereal barrier spell will stop him leaving, that way all sides are covered." Tara smiled at her cousin, happy to have her support.

"I'll get the things we need." Madalene nodded softly.

"I'll help." Dawn added her support to the idea.

"You lied to me." Willow frowned accusing and condemning the Slayer of the horrible crime in the same breath as she turned towards the stairs.

"Will come on, please wait." Buffy decided to not even try to intervene with the witches; instead she trailed her best friend.

"I need to go upstairs now." Willow stated without looking at her.

"Will, you have to know I wouldn't have let him hurt Tara?" She put her foot on the first stair as Willow moved slowly up them. "Will, please, tell me you at least know that?"

"He scared her already." Willow whispered back. "And hurt her…" Her body visibly shivered as if she was trying to stop from throwing up. "You lied to me."

"Willow I'm sorry." Buffy didn't try to follow; she just stood motionless on the stairs. After a long moment she turned to see Tara looking up at her from the couch. "Am I wrong for not just grabbing the nearest stake and killing him?" She asked of the blonde.

Tara took a long slow breath and looked into hazel eyes, her reply low but serious.

"You were wrong to lie to her."

Madalene opened the garage door and carried the covered cup inside. She looked at the huddled figure in the corner and flicked on the light. The overhead fluorescent flickered and hummed for a few moments before it finally came to life.

"I have your meal." Madalene said in a bland voice.

"You don't have to do any of this." Spike looked over at her. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care if you hurt me." Madalene stated moving over to place the cup down in front of the vampire. "I won't let you hurt any of them."

"I don't hurt." He shook his head again. "This space is good, kind to me, helps the noise." He rubbed his temple.

"Drink your meal." She looked away moving across from him to sit down. She looked at him narrowing her eyes as she did.

"Why do you eye me?" Spike sipped the blood.

"Because I want to understand you." The Spellcaster didn't blink. "To categorize you."

"I'm a bad boy." Spike hung his head a little.

"You're a liar." Madalene tilted her head as she concentrated on him.

"So are you." Spike replied almost adding the childish 'Ner ner ner' to the words.

"I am… why don't you come in a little more then vampire?" Madalene felt his natural demon sense reaching out to figure her out.

"I don't know you." He shook his head. "Don't want to talk."

"Are you not hungry?" Madalene motioned to the cup he was nursing.

"Not hungry." Spike nodded putting it down and pushing it away. "Go now."

"No, I think I'll stay." She shook her head. "We don't have to talk." Spike shrugged and went back to humming Lavender's blue. "Who is your Queen?" She asked remembering the lyrics to the song.

"No Queen, no king." Spike shook his head. "Just pawns and pain."

"Always the pain." Madalene nodded. "You bring the pain, you feel the pain, you are the pain."

"Tricky witch go away, don't come back another day." Spike sung, not to Madalene, but rather to the wall.

"I'm not going anywhere Mr. Wall." Madalene looked at it as well. "As long as we keep you here, I'm going to pick apart the little locks and find the real William."

*Madalene?* Tara's voice pressed gently into the Spellcaster's mind.

*Yes?* Mads called back immediately.

*Willow's not settling down, she wants to check that Spike is harmless.* Her cousin explained.

*He is, I'm in the garage.* Mads assured her. *There's nothing to fear from him, he can't get out.*

*She wants to check for herself.* Tara sounded tired. *I've assured her but I don't know what else to do.*

*Do you feel comfortable bringing her out here?* Madalene questioned.

*Do you?* Tara checked.

*If I have an ignition spell in my pocket, which I do, then yes.* Madalene smiled to herself.

*We'll be right down.* Tara sounded relieved and soon enough the two women shuffled out of the house towards the garage followed by Dawn. *Ready?* She questioned Madalene quietly.

"We have visitors Spike, be on you're best behaviour." She urged him.

"Bring them, roll up, roll up and see the circus freak, only a penny." He shouted loudly.

"Behave Spike." Madalene warned him. *We're ready.* She stayed sitting as the door opened and the three of them filled the doorway.

"Why is Madalene in there?" Dawn frowned looking in at the pair.

"I'm just watching." Madalene looked over at the teenager having heard her question. "See Willow, nothing to worry about."

"Weeping Willow, the little ray of sunshine." Spike glanced at the visitors.

"Why are you back?" Willow asked tentatively.

"Back for help, the witch to help but the witch is broke and demons won't." He moved his focus to Tara.

"How do we help you?" Madalene asked him. "If you tell us how to…"

"Need it gone." Spike snarled.

"How?" Willow asked again.

"Don't know, head hurts, go now." He curled up rocking.

"See Willow he's fine." Madalene smiled at the redhead.

"Let's go inside now." Willow cuddled into Tara's arm.

"Madalene?" Dawn watched as Willow and Tara shuffled back to the house.

"I'll be there in a minute." Madalene assured her and Dawn shrugged before she backtracked to the house.

"Are you eating or not?" Madalene moved over to him.

"Don't eat during the show." Spike cradled the blood.

"Enjoy." The Spellcaster shook her head and moved to the door locking it behind her.

Buffy closed the door softly as she entered the house. It was almost midnight, almost the end of possibly the worst day she'd had in along time. She moved off through the living room towards the kitchen.

"Your dinner is in the oven." Madalene's voice called from the dining room. "And before you think it was me, Tara kept you a plate."

"That was nice of her but I'm not hungry." Buffy pulled the fridge open and took out a water.

"I'll feed it to the dog later then." Mads gave a nod in the dark. "Giles come up with anything?"

"Not yet. I talked to Angel. Wesley is on the case too, it'll be sorted soon." Buffy cracked the top off the bottle and sipped a little of the cold contents.

"Good, I'm sure you're looking after it." Madalene wasn't sure how much of her underlying disbelief she had, had come out in the words.

"I know you don't agree with how I'm dealing with this, but you don't know Spike." Buffy sighed. "And you don't really know me. I can do what I need to."

"So we were together in your future verse?" Madalene poised the question softly.

"Who told you that?" Buffy felt her back tense.

"I believe you did." Madalene gave a sad smile. "Somewhat underlined by Tara's doomed attempt to cover up for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Buffy shook her head. "If you're referring to the kooky dream I mentioned then don't."

Madalene stayed silent for a long moment as if contemplating a response.

"Shall we talk of my kooky dream then?" Madalene poised the other option gently.

This reply stumped Buffy slightly, and deflated her instant defensive position.

"You want to talk about your dream?" She checked.

"Perhaps it's what you need to talk about, to know me, a little better." Mads offered.

"Okay let's talk about your dream." Buffy moved closer.

"You were loving, brave, responsible and loyal." Madalene started her voice barely a whisper.

"I was?" Buffy looked completely surprised.

"You were, you did everything to take care of me." Madalene smiled. "Because you felt responsible for me, much like you do for Spike." She concluded. "This is why I understand you more than you know."

"So why do you want me to stake him?" Buffy asked bluntly.

"I don't want you too anymore; it's not your responsibility." Madalene carefully lit a small tea light. "I don't think you should have any part of saving or killing him."

"But I shouldn't stop it if anyone else was to try?" Buffy raised her eyebrow.

"Demons kill demons all the time, aren't people your true concern?" Madalene questioned.

"Madalene before I get Giles to put you in a similar cage to the one Spike's in right now, stop talking like that." Buffy warned in a low tone.

"You're right; I think I've done far too much thinking for such a small day." The Spellcaster walked over to where Buffy was. "Do what you must Buffy." She stopped shoulder to shoulder with her in the doorway. "I just hope one day you'll trust me enough to tell me about your kooky dream." She whispered.

"Believe me." Buffy met her gaze. "You wouldn't want to know."

"He won't come." Buffy leaned against the wall, the phone in her hand, her head leaning against the plaster. "Angel, I've told you how many times now? I talked to him, he won't come to you, he believes the planes will crash and the sky will eat him." She shook her head as she tried to explain. "Okay? I'll try again." She sighed and put down the phone. It was already only 9 am and yet it was shaping up to be as bad a day as the last one had been.

"We could ship him in a crate." Dawn offered from the hallway.

"He's a human being." Buffy sighed and moved to make herself a cup of coffee.

"He's a vampire, even when Angel was doing his crazy phase you never called him a human being. Humans don't like Weetabix mixed into their BLOOD." Dawn followed her.

"Okay so he's not a human being, slip of the tongue, it's early, I didn't sleep that well." Buffy took the correction. "And Angel is different; I never knew what he went through when he gained his soul the first time. I don't think I'd have shipped him off my hand in a crate, do you?"

"Do you love Spike?" Dawn questioned not sure with everything that Buffy was saying if she wanted an honest answer.

"No!" The Slayer replied quickly and honestly before taking a breath and softening her tone. "Really no I don't, but he came here because he thought we could help him. Like a dog crawls back to its owner when it's hurt its paw." She tried to explain.

"A dog who's tried to kill you and… and to hurt you." The teenager pointed out.

"Yeah like a really badly trained dog." Buffy nodded. "Oh Dawn, I don't know, I just feel like I owe him something. He looked after you, helped keep everyone alive when I was dead."

"He scares Tara and Willow." Dawn brought up a whole other point.

"I know that, and I wish he'd been safe at Giles." Buffy nodded that she agreed. "But he wasn't and Giles got hurt." She pointed out. "Dawn I get that no one wants him around, I know that he betrayed you and scared Tara, but he needs help."

"When does what all of us need become more important than him?" Dawn asked point blank.

"What if it was you Dawn? No, better, what if you'd been like this with Willow when she needed us so badly? I didn't hear you calling for her to be put down or crated up and shipped off. She hurt you, she tried to kill me and end the world." Buffy remembered sadly.

"That was different." Dawn snapped. "I'm going out." She walked toward the door.

"Dawn… Dawn!" Buffy called after her but there was no stopping the teenager, a fact that was underlined by the slamming of the back door.

"Whatever that was didn't seem to go well." From behind the Slayer, Tara's tired voice pointed out the obvious fact.

"Please Tara, I am not getting into this with you too." Buffy left before Tara could say anything else.

"Tell Buffy to hand me the converter." Dawn addressed Madalene who she was sat beside on the couch. The entire Summers' household was sat in the sitting room. Dawn and Mads were on one couch, Willow and Tara were on the other and Buffy was in the arm chair. The room was silent apart from the droning tones of the man explaining how to create the perfect bevelled edge on your wood.

"Buffy can Dawn please have the converter." Mads asked in a tired voice.

"I'm watching this." Buffy flatly denied the request. "Tell my sister she'll have to wait."

"Tell my sister she's an ass and no one watches the home improvement channel." Dawn snapped back.

"Buffy you don't like home improvement shows." Willow backed up softly.

"I'm not in the mood for dumb cartoons or too loud teenager music." Buffy held the converter closer.

"I don't listen to loud music." Dawn objected. "And even if I did, it'd be better than watching Mr. Fix It playing around with his new circular puzzle saw." Her voice grew louder.

"Fine." Buffy flicked channels landing on a French movie, she instantly faked interest.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap." Dawn sung loudly from her seat making Buffy just notch up the volume. "Oh eh le bibliotech." She changed her chant. "Je'mapelle Dawn, qell 'heur atell?" She rambled off French phrases. Buffy flicked back to the home improvement channel.

"Sweetie, let's watch the program about koalas in the bedroom." Tara took Willow's hand and eased her up the stairs while Buffy continued notching up the volume as Dawn starting singing "Bob the Builder's" theme tune.

Madalene was about to stand up and leave the Summers sisters to their petty battle when Tara returned and moved over to the wall pulling out the cord to the TV as she passed. The Spellcaster's eyes grew wide as she could feel the horrible aura coming off her cousin.

"I never ever thought I'd say this but at times you can be the most selfish people in the universe." Tara dropped the plug with a heavy thump. "Now I know that right now things are strained and I know everyone feels a whole multitude of things but at the moment the thing in the garage is the last thing we need to be worried about." She took a breath. "After all the hard work you put into getting Willow better, have you really not noticed that you're undoing all the good you've done in just a few hours?" She looked between Dawn and Buffy. "Now I know I lost my memory, and I know I've not got the very vivid history you have, but hello, I was the one he kidnapped. I was the one he hurt and Willow is the one suffering." She took another breath. "I understand to the same extent why you feel the need to do what you're doing Buffy but I won't, I can't let Willow be set by in her recovery by this." She rested a hand on her hip. "Tomorrow morning Willow and I will be leaving to go to stay in a hotel." She concluded her rant succinctly before bending down and plugging the T.V. back in.

"Tara?" Buffy quickly turned it back off and looked at the blonde.

"Tara, you can't move out." Dawn instantly panicked.

"I'm sorry Dawnie, really I am but this is all too much for Willow." The blonde sadly shook her head. "As soon as things are sorted out we'll come back home."

"No, we can do better." Dawn backed up. "Buffy will get rid of Spike, won't you?"

"I'll pack my things and arrange a second room." Madalene nodded to Tara giving her support for the harsh but necessary choice.

"Okay everyone enough with the melodramatics." Buffy snapped standing up. "People it's just Spike, chipped and soul filled Spike. He's locked and magically barricaded in the garage, no one is going anywhere."

"I'll call and leave the number of the hotel." Tara turned towards the stairs.

"She's serious Buffy." Madalene underlined softly.

"What?" Buffy pushed across the room. "Tara, don't be so stupid…"

"Are you calling me stupid?" Tara whirled around and glared at Buffy.

"No, I think Buffy is just putting forward that she would prefer to go for another avenue then you moving out with Willow." Madalene offered moving over to Tara. *Please don't take her on that way right now.* She sent the thought directly to Buffy.

"Yeah, that's what Buffy meant." Dawn saw the flare in Tara's normally placid blue eyes.

"I know exactly what Buffy meant." Tara cut them both off looking directly at the Slayer. "I swore I'd never let anything hurt Willow again if I could stop it." She underlined. "You are hurting her, having Spike here is hurting her and believe me Buffy I am choosing the nicest way to stop this." She concluded before quickly jogging up the stairs.

"I'm guessing bad time of the moon cycle?" Buffy smiled thinking that with that scene the little show was over.

Dawn was about to say something when Madalene help up her hand to stop her.

"If I thought right now I could slap some sense into you I would but I know that it would only make you less likely to see." Madalene's voice was icy sharp. "She is taking Willow away from you and God you help you Buffy if you think a insensitive comment like that will keep them here."

"What? Come on, Tara's just tired and Willow's had a bad couple of days. That alone is tiring without adding the whole slip up and misunderstanding with Spike." Buffy frowned.

"I am going to spell this out as simply as I can; you have chosen to have Spike in the garage, fair enough. Now Tara is making her choice and with the black in her aura Tara will have Willow in a hotel in the next hour, let alone by morning."

Buffy gave Madalene a look that said 'you're joking?' but the look that came back at the Slayer told her how very serious the Spellcaster was being.

"I'll give her a few minutes then I'll take her an herbal tea. She'll have calmed down by then." Buffy offered.

From the middle step that Tara had silently reached, the blonde cleared her throat loudly.

"SHE and Willow won't be around to give tea too." She looked sadly at Dawn holding out a heart shaped post it note. "The hotel's number." She encouraged the teenager to come and take it.

"Tara, I want to go with you." Dawn moved over to get the note but made the instant request.

"I'll go get my bag and Willow's medications." Madalene cast Buffy a sad look and moved towards the kitchen.

"You know I'm going to start sounding like a broken record but everyone get a grip." Buffy looked around her voice tight as she saw things falling apart.

"Buffy I don't know really for sure if before I died people didn't take me seriously, but I can tell you with full authority that now I'm back they really should." She took a few steps down and put her hand on Dawn's shoulder softening her tone. "I reserved a family suite." She turned to Dawn and smiled softly before looking back at Buffy. "Spike's safe where he is, you're welcome to come with us, but I won't hurt anyone I love through this much anxiety." She reached down and took Dawn's hand.

Buffy opened her mouth and closed it again, before she repeated the procedure looking much like a goldfish.

"Let me call Angel again, maybe he's found out something more." She finally blurted out trying to buy time. "Give me till the morning, Tara… please." She looked up at the blonde.

"The morning." Tara nodded curtly and released Dawn's hand moving back to the stairs. Looking back at her sister for a moment, Dawn moved up the stairs after the blonde witch.

Buffy watched them leave and turned seeing that Madalene had left already to sort Willow's medication as she had said. With a heartfelt sigh the Slayer sunk down onto the couch and dropped her head into her hands.

"How can I still be getting things so wrong?" She whispered to herself subconsciously beginning a soft rocking motion. "I just wanted to do the right thing. I always only want to do the right thing."

"You're not doing the wrong thing." Madalene, probably to Buffy's surprise, had managed to slip back in and sunk down beside the blonde, putting her arm around Buffy's back to comfort her. "And everyone knows you want to do the right thing right now, but sometimes the right thing is different for different people without being a wrong way."

"I don't mean to be hurting Willow, I don't want you all to move out, but Mads what can I do? He's not safe on his own, Angel says he has things he can do, things to help Spike but Spike won't go to L.A." The Slayer forgot everything and leaned into Madalene's offered support. "I'm doing what I always do, managing to fuck up by just existing."

"You are not fucking up anything." Mads repeated the odd curse for her as she pulled Buffy closer and rocked her gently. "There is no easy answer and I know Tara is upset but she knows you are stuck as to what to do, for her it's simple, her world is Willow."

"Meaning my world is an undead vampire, who everyone hates." Buffy sighed and pulled away from the comfort. "Why don't I feel better knowing that?" She sighed. "I'm going to talk to Angel." She pushed up taking the cell phone and stalking away.

"Buffy." Madalene went over snatching away the phone and throwing it back at the couch. "That is not what I said. Your world is the world." She looked the blonde in the eye. "You are trying to do the best thing for everyone." She reached and took Buffy's hand. "Now we both know we've been at loggerheads but never Buffy have I thought you were doing what you were doing to deliberately hurt any of us, especially Willow."

"The stuff I say sometimes, I don't mean them." Buffy frowned her voice small. "My future world, it was about you, about us." She made the admission almost silently.

"Come here." Madalene led her back to the couch, sitting down with her. She kept Buffy's hand in hers, rubbing the Slayer's wrist with the other. "Whatever happened in your world Buffy, I never want to do anything that hurts you and if telling me about it hurts you then you don't have to tell me."

"It doesn't hurt me." Buffy almost laughed. "That's the point. 'We' as in you and me, we were happy, in fact everyone was happy. Willow, Tara, Dawn and even Giles." She stressed. "In fact in lots of ways it was like the place I was in before they brought me back, minus the you and I…" She blushed slightly. "But you see that's truly how pathetic I am." She pulled away again and stood up. "My mind wants a future that could only be created with a hell of a lot of magic." She sighed defeated. "I need to be alone Madalene. I'm sorry, I know that you want to help me, make it all better, but right now…" She breathed in. "I need to be alone." She moved slowly away, this time leaving the phone and just going to her room.

"It doesn't take magic." Madalene sighed softly to herself and leaned back blinking hot tears onto her cheeks

The door to the garage opened confidently, the sharp beam of light that preceded the small figure hiding her identity for a moment before she moved further into the room.

"Get up." Madalene commanded in a low tone, kicking Spike's boot lightly to jolt him as his leg was stretched out well away from his body.

"Don't hurt me!" Spike wailed instantly causing Madalene to roll her eyes.

"I'm not here to hurt you; I'm here to talk to you." The Spellcaster put the flashlight down, allowing it to send a wide beam up towards the ceiling filling the room with a low light. "I'm here to help you, if that's what you really want."

"Demon witch help Spike?" He pulled his face out of his hands looking at her confused. "Demon witch hate Spike."

"Don't confuse what I'm doing as concern for you." Madalene looked at him, her features sharp in the distorted light. "There is someone who can help you."

"No one can help me, the pain, the burning." Spike shook his head.

"Spike, listen to me." Madalene moved over, bending down and taking his chin she tried not to focus on the icy feeling of his skin. "You have three choices. Two mean you die and one means you get to go free… understand?" She stared at him.

"Spike wants to live but doesn't want the burning." He nodded that he did.

"Then you take option one, leave Sunnydale and go to L.A. Angel says he can help you with the soul, he's the only one who knows anything, and no one here can help you." Madalene began to explain letting him go and backing up.

"But demon witches put me in a cage, caged animals aren't allowed to be free, no freedom for the bad dog." He shook his head.

"I've taken down the barriers. You can just walk out the door." Madalene motioned over to where it was open letting the cool night breeze in.

"Trick, you're a tricky witch, want Spike to be a bad dog." He pulled closer into the corner.

"No Spike, I want you out of Sunnydale, either dead or alive." She growled at him moving over to pull at his arm to urge him to get up.

"Bad dog needs to stay with his slayer." Spike objected struggling against her a little.

"Listen to me Spike." Madalene waved her hand using magic to lift him up to his feet. "She is not yours." She looked up at him. "Now you either go to Angel or you die in this garage."

"Tricky witch magic won't protect her." Spike snarled at her.

"No, it might not… but if you attack me and hurt me, Buffy will be forced to kill you." Madalene pointed out to him and saw a flash of recognition to that fact. "See you know I'm right." She gave him a tight smile. "If you try to hurt me then either my tricky magic wins or the Slayer turns you to ash. Take option three Spike, go to Angel." She urged him.

"Can it be that easy?" Spike asked turning in a small circle as he rubbed his open palm over his head.

"It is." Madalene assured him. "You leave Sunnydale and never come back, ever." She made the last ultimatum.

"Hellmouth is a bad dog's home." Spike stopped and looked at her, a flash of worry on his face.

"Not anymore." The Spellcaster shook her head as she pulled a small plastic pouch out of her pocket and squeezing it in her palm made it erupt in her hand coating her flesh with thick red oil. "Get out of Sunnydale Spike, and never let me see you here again or I'll show you what a tricky witch I can be." She held her hand out and saying a few words under her breath her hand erupted into angry red flames.

"You're not like the rest of them." Spike backed away from her towards the door. "You mean what you say and say what you mean. No games with the tricky witch, no fun games." He hung in the door way reaching sideways to it almost checking to see if indeed the barrier was gone. He looked shocked when his arm passed through without any effort.

"Yes Spike I mean it, get out and never come back." Madalene started to walk towards him, her voice eerily serious.

"Tricky witch wins, Spike go." He bit his lip looking out into the night before he broke into a run and took off.

"I don't want to win. I just want everyone to be safe and happy." Madalene corrected to the darkness around her as the flames died out.

The end for now… GRRRR... Argggg