The Adventures of Teleport-Boy

Excalibur belongs to Marvel

The Legion of the Superheros and the Specter belongs to DC

This Story plays during the cross-time-caper in already classic Excalibur Volume 1.

The Legion is the pre-crisis Legion.

English is not my native language. I hope the jokes work.

THE GUEST

"Okay Brainy. Something new about our guest."

"I think he will wake up any moment now, Sun-Boy. The readings are stabilizing."

"Have you found out which species he belong to or from which planet he comes."

"Oh, that was easy! Species: human. Planet: Earth."

Dirk Morgna aka Sun-Boy was stunned for a moment. Then he said: "Uh, Brainy. This might come as a shock to you, but earth-people are not covered with blue fur and they got normally 5 fingers for each hand and not just three and they got definitely no tails."

"And they normally doesn't produce atomic energy in there body, so they can get the powers of a human Sun." answered Brainiac 5, the scientific genius of the Legion of the Superheroes. "Look Dirk. The DNA of our guest is to 99,9938 identical with every average human on earth."

"And the remaining 0,0062 "

"There the case starts to become interesting. Beside his appearance his body is surrounded by some kind of Dimension-field, which…but I better show you." Brainac 5 deemed the light in his Lab. The "guest", lying on an examination table, just vanished.

"He is gone"

"No. See." Brainiac 5 directed the beam of a small projector on the table. Where the light hit the table, the "guest" reappeared. "As long he isn't set out direct light, our guest is invisible."

"Uh ha. Interesting. But we already got a new Invisible Boy and we still have Shadow Girl"

"For itself this power doesn't look like very impressive, but I registered some strange areas in his brain. I think he controls the Dimension-field with this part. For which use I can only speculate."

"Okay Brainy. Who is he and where does he comes from."

"Who he is. He is a mutant. Like Dawnstar or poor Ferro-Boy. Some purist would say he is no longer Homo sapiens but Homo superior. Where he comes from? He literally dropped from the sky in London. At this time SPDL (Science Police Department London) registered some strange fluctuations in the time-space continuum."

"A time traveler"

"Maybe. SP thought it would be better if I examine the case. Ah finally, he wakes up."

"Wo,..wo bin ich. Was ist passiert"

"Interesting. He speaks an ancient language. Deutsch. German. Quite common in Central Europe from the 8th to the 24th century. Seems he is from the past. Computo secure the prisoner.,"

"PRISONER SECURED THROUGH FORCEFIELD"

"Hey, was ist los. Laßt mich frei."

"Brainy, what are you doing. He isn't our prisoner."

"I just want to provoke a" –BAMF- "reaction"

"Gosh, this smell"

"PRI SONER ESCAPED FORCEFIELD"

"Really interesting. A Teleporter"

"Okay, ihr beiden. Who are you and where am I? "

"My name is Brainac 5. I want to excuse me for the force field. This is Sun Boy. You are in the headquarter of the Legion of the Superheroes, City of Metropolis, Planet Earth. And who are you and where did you come from."

"Ich bin.. äh..wait..I am... One moment, please. I am..I think my first name is Kurt. Then I remember only a word. Excalibur. Maybe it's my family name. I remember nothing more. I don't know where I come from."

"Hmm. Amnesia as a result of the shock. Okay, Kurt Excalibur. Be welcome in the 30th century."

HOW THE HAND OF GOD DERAILED MY TRAIN

The train was drifting. This was clear. It was completely unclear, where and when the train was. It doesn't seem to be the space between the universes they traveled before. It was neither Limbo nor any other universe they had heard before. Literary they were drifting in nothing. A black Nothing. Whatever this place was, one thing was clear. Time wasn't working normally here. Sometimes they thought there were already several years trapped and that they had become crazy. Then it was if they waked up and realized that only minutes had passed and that there was no reason to panic.

"They" was Excalibur, a British superhero-team, consisting of the former X-men Kitty Pryde and Rachel Summer, aka as Shadowcat and Phoenix, Brian Braddock, designated Captain Britain of Earth 616, his girlfriend Meggan, Kitty Pryde's pet dragon Lockheed and Professor Alistair Stuart.

Thins a strange accident, involving a bunch of Nazis from a alternate universe, they were on some kind of Cross-Time Caper between several alternate universe, desperately searching fore there own Earth.

Normally to there ranks belonged Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler, like Kitty and Rachel a former X-men. But Kurt vanished in the moment as the train stopped at this unfriendly place.

"Give Widget another try, Rachel. We must get out of here."

"Okay Brian. Here we go."

Rachel concentrated a beam of her Phoenix-Power on Widget. The little robot was their engine for the jumps between the universes. Normally the Phoenix-Power started him. But now he showed no reaction.

"Rats! It seems somebody sucks the energy out of him in the moment I fuel him up. I don't know what we can do."

"But we can't give up." whimpered Meggan "We must search for Kurt. He is all alone and maybe hurt."

"We don't give up Meggan. We just have to try something different. And don't be afraid for Kurt. He is a big, blue elf. He can handle any situation."

"Kitty is right, Meggan. Nightcrawler is maybe in a better situation then we." This sounded harsher as Brian wanted. He was concerned like anybody else for the vanished comrade. But for a small, ugly part of Brian, Nightcrawler could stay lost forever. Brian always had the feeling that the charming kraut wanted to steal his girl friend.

"Ah guys! Come to the window. I think there is something you should see." shouted Alistair.

"What happened Alis….?Oh my God!"

"This is …..huge"

"Definitely huge."

"This is the hugest piece of underwear I've ever seen."

In the first moment they all just saw enormous green pants.

Then they realized that a gigantic ghostlike white guy, several miles high, was wearing the pants. He had a green cape and a green cowl covered his head.

Then they heard inside her heads a voice like a thunderstorm.

"FOOLISH MORTALS! YOUR MADNESS ALREADY INFECTED THE UNIVERSE. YOU WILL UNDO THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSED AND THEN YOU WILL GO. OR YOU WILL MEET MY JUDGEMENT."

Kitty was the first one who got her voice back. "Who..Who are you."

"I'M THE SPECTER. I'M THE HAND OF GOD."

"Which God?"

For a moment the Specter was stunned. Then he said: "THIS IS A STRANGE QUESTION FOR A DAUGHTER OF ISRAEL, KATHERINE PRYDE."

Kitty jaw dropped. "Oh…oh Go…I mean, oh De….no. Oh hell! Oh no, I didn't say this. I didn't mean this. I just wanted…."

"SILENCE!"

"Okay, okay, okay."

"Its nothing okay. Listen big guy. Where are we and where is our friend Kurt." "Rachel! Don't make him mad."

"Kitty, it needs more to impress me as a big religious Looney, who runs around in his Underwear."

"RACHEL SUMMERS! IN SPITE OF YOUR IMPERTINENCE I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. YOU ARE AT THE BORDERS OF THE UNIVERSES. NORMALLY CREATURES LIKE YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CROSS THEM. BUT YOUR FRIEND KURT WAGNER IS A SPECIAL CASE. HE WAS ORIGINAL DETERMINATE TO BE BORN INSIDE THIS UNIVERSE. SO HE WAS ALLOWED TO CROSS THE BORDERS."

"What do you mean the borders of the universes? Till now we traveled without a problem between the universes."

"YOU TRAVELED BETWEEN THE UNIVERSES OF THE LOWER REGIONS. NOW YOU ARE AT THE BORDER OF THE ORIGINAL UNIVERS, WERE ALL THINGS STARTED."

"He makes it sound as if our universe is some kind of dump." Alistair whispered.

"ENOUGH TALKED. YOU ARE NOW ALLOWED TO CROSS THE BORDER. YOU WILL MEET YOUR FRIEND AND WILL UNDO THE DAMAGE. BUT FIRST YOU RACHEL SUMMERS WILL SURRENDER ME THE INFECTION."

"What infection. What are you talking about?"

"I SPEAK ABOUT THE COSMIC FORCE BOUNDED TO YOUR SOUL." " The Phoenix? You are crazy! I can't give you the Phoenix."

"YOUR OPINION IS IRRELEVANT. SURRENDER THE INFECTION PEACEFULL OR FACE THE CONSEQUENZES."

"Okay big guy. That does it. You will just give us back Kurt and let us go. Or I will beat the crap out of you."

"Rachel, you can't speak like this to the Hand of …er…the Allhighest."

"Kitty, in the last months I defeated three different versions of Galactus, eight of Thor and even a Celestial. And now I should roll over for Casper the unfriendly Ghost. This is out of Question."

"Rachel, wait!"

But Rachel already spread her fire wings and left the train.

"There she goes."

"This is madness."

"Uh oh. She needs her time to reach him. You know what that means."

"Yes! He is much further away then we thought. Means he is a lot bigger."

"This looks bad. He reaches out with his hand. OH GOD!"

The well-known image of a gigantic firebird exploded in their faces. At the same time they heard inside their heads a terrible scream. A death-scream. Then there was again the voice of the Specter.

"YOU CAN NOW CROSS THE BORDER!"

"Wait, what have you done to Rachel." But the Specter was already vanished. "No, no, the Sentinels. Kate, the Sentinels are coming. Kate, help me."

They turned their heads and found Rachel lying on the floor of the train. She looked terrible.

"She seems to be in shock. Rachel, listen to me."

"Kate, Kate."

"No, it's not Kate. It's Kitty. You are with Excalibur. There are no Sentinels there."

"Kitty" Rachel sobbed, "he killed the Phoenix-Force."

"What! That's impossible Rachel."

"He just did it. Like it means nothing to him."

"But we are stuck without the Phoenix-Force." Brian shouted, "How should we cross that stupid border."

"Don't be afraid, citizen." They all turned their heads toward Meggan. "Seems like it is a job for Mega-Girl."

To be continued