Disclaimer: Another awesome story by my friend LoriCas. Lori, please write a sequel to this
Set after the Apocalypse...Dean & Castiel row and Dean beats Cas up...they split up, Dean realises how much he loves Cas...buts it's too late
3 words, 3 words were all Cas wanted to hear from Dean, it was a request that was going to lead to the worst day of his new mortal life. So let's back track a bit, after the Apocalypse was over Dean lived with Lisa but decided he wanted Cas, Cas felt the same way and they got together, this got Cas kicked out of heaven and his wings and grace torn from him, leaving him mortal. Now he and Dean are together, and in love, well Cas loves Dean...Dean never tells him he loves him back. Skip back to the present...thats what caused this particular row, Deans insistence of not telling Cas he loved him...
Cas & Dean collapsed onto the bed, both sweating and breathing heavily after a mammoth love making session, Cas climbed into Deans arms, still shaking and laid on his chest, listening to his heart beat, Dean ran his fingers thru Cas's hair soothing him like he did everytime after they made love...it took its toll on Cas now he wasnt an angel anymore...Cas still insisted on riding Dean like he had back then. Cas stared up into Deans big green eyes, Dean looked down at him and cupped his chin, pulling Cas's mouth towards his, Cas groaned into Deans mouth whe he felt Deans tongue slide in his mouth, crushing against his own tongue, they kissed each other messily, teeth occasionally knocking together, until they slowed down to kitten pecks, Dean gave Cas one final peck and pulled away.
"I love you Dean, I truly do" Cas said smiling
Dean looked up at the ceiling, he hated the chick flick moments Cas insisted they have "Thanks Cas, now try and sleep" he muttered back
Cas pulled himself out of Deans arms and looked at him sadly "Why won't you tell me you Love me? You do Love me Dean don't you?
Dean rolls his eyes, not this again, he was fed up with Cas asking him, he didn't know how he felt, he was happy when he was with Cas and missed him when they were apart, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Cas how he felt, so instead he pushed him away each time "Cas we've discussed this, just drop it ok?"
Cas sits up and stares at Dean with puppy dog eyes "Its just 3 words Dean, If you don't Love me just say so, and I'll go!"
This makes Dean angry "You'll leave me if I don't love you? Fine let's see shall we? Cas I don't love you" he pushes Cas off the bed "So go, get out of here I DONT CARE CAS!"
Cas looks at Dean "You don't mean that Dean, I know you don't"
"Don't I?" shouts Dean "Let's see shall we?"
Dean jumps off the bed and pulls Cas up, he punches him in the face breaking his nose, blood everywhere
"Dean...Stop"
Dean chucks Cas on the floor and keeps kicking him the face and Ribs, Cas is now crying, tears and blood pouring down his face struggling to breathe
"Do you get it now Cas?, I don't love you, I never will, I HATE YOU, it's over...we're done...GET OUT!
Cas painfully stands up & Dean chucks his clothes at him "I gave up everything for you Dean EVERYTHING, and this is how you repay me, fine I'll go, you wont ever see me again, just remember I will always Love you Dean, no matter what" Cas stares at Dean with one final look, his lip trembling, he hangs his head and walks out, slamming the door behind him, Dean sits on the edge of his bed, looking at his blood soaked hands, realising what he's done he starts to cry and runs to the door calling Cas's name. Cas is nowhere to be seen, he looks down at the floor and sees Cas's blue tie, he picks it up and holds it to his nose, inhaling the ex angels sweet scent, he walks back into the motel room and picks up his Cell, he tries calling Cas but it goes to Voicemail, Dean chucks his phone across the room and lays on the bed, he cries Cas's name until he falls into a deep sleep.
2 Months Later...
Cas is sat in a park watching the ducks on the pond all fighting for scraps of bread being thrown to them, he's thinking of Dean, wondering if he is thinking of him at all. He checks his phone, no messages, no voicemails, he goes to call Dean but cancels the call, he's done that every day for the last 2 months, and every day he hangs up thru fear of rejection. What Cas doesn't know is Dean does the exact same thing every day, for the last 2 months Dean has done nothing but regret what he did to Castiel and looked for him everywhere, but to no avail. Cas sighs and looks up to the sky, tears in his eyes, the memories of Deans face, the spite in his voice when he told him he hated him are all too much for Cas, the pain of his wounds have long since gone but the pain over loosing Dean will stay with him forever. Cas decides he's going to go to White castle in Maine, as he walks in his whole world stops, there sat in a booth in the corner is Dean, suddenly he can't breathe and steadies himself on the counter top. Dean is sat on his own and Cas can see the obvious tears running down Deans face, he wants to go to him, comfort him but he cant, the pain of what dean did is still too fresh in his mind, he quickly darts into the nearest booth and hides behind a menu. A waitress comes over to take his order, he just orders a coffee and shoos her away. Dean is sat in his booth crying for Cas, his pie and burger sat untouched, he cant even bring himself to eat these days, he didn't even want anything but felt drawn to this place. He decides to call Cas, he's going to beg him to come home, no matter what it takes, he loves his ex angel and he'll tell him a thousand times if he needs to. He picks his phone up and dials Cas's number, suddenly a chorus of 'must be talking to an angel' is heard across the room, Dean shakes his head, no, no way, there's no way that Cas is in the same place as him, he looks over the top of his booth to see if he can see him, at the same time Cas looks over his booth, blue meets green. They sit and stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, Dean stands up and starts walking over to Cas, Cas suddenly looks scared and stands, he looks at Dean, tears in his eyes, chucks money on the table and runs for the door.
Dean knows he can't let him go, not this time "Cas...CAS please wait" He chases him out of the restaurant and into the car park. He catches up with him, grabs his arm stopping him.
"Dean, don't, please don't hurt me" Cas cries
"Cas sweetheart I'm not going to hurt you, please look at me"
Cas shakes his head, Dean walks round and places his hand under Cas's chin, lifting his head and eyes to look at his, Cas looks into Deans eyes and starts crying uncontrollably, Dean pulls him into his arms, Cas is shaking with fear, Dean tries to soothe him, he starts stroking Cas's hair, his other arm pulling Cas closer to his chest. Cas pushes Dean away from him "Dean I can't, why are you doing this, you hate me remember? Please just leave me alone!" Cas goes to walk off.
"Cas...wait don't go again...listen, I...I...ah dammit Cas you know what I'm trying to say?" Dean shouts
"No Dean I don't...just say it...Please?" Cas begs
"Cas...I...I can't...cas please understand what I'm trying to say" Dean looks at the floor
"It's 3 words Dean, 3 WORDS! I'm outta here, you had your chance, I can't stay with someone who doesnt say I love u back, I'm sorry" Cas turns and walks away.
Dean collapses on his knees, in tears, he watches cas walk away, his coat flapping in the wind, he cant believe he didnt tell him, Cas was gving him another chance and he blew it. Dean was too wrapped up in his emotions to notice the Demon appear in front of him.
"Ha ha Dean Winchester, so vulnerable, so weak, this will be fun"
Dean looks up, the demon grabs him and pulls him up, he starts beating Dean up, he throws him across the car park, he lands in a heap.
"Just do it!" Dean shouted "I don't care anymore!"
The demon lifts Dean up with his mind and pins him against a wall, he takes the knife from Deans Pocket and stands there smiling, he raises his arm and goes to stab Dean, what neither of them realise is Cas has come back to talk to Dean, seeing what is happening he runs in front of Dean, the demon stabs Cas straight thru his chest, Cas cries out in pain, Dean realising what has happened shouts "!", the demon, realising he has got the wrong person drops the blade and disappears, Dean is released from the wall and catches Cas in his arms before he collapses "Cas you stupid SOAB, what did you do that for, I'm not worth it"
Cas stares into Deans eyes, tears falling from his own, his mouth poaring with blood "Yes you are worth it Dean...I ...would...do ...anything for you...Dean I love you...I love you so much" Cas cries
Dean stares as Cas, he can't believe he's going to lose him, the wasted months, why didnt he man up and tell him sooner, he loved Cas with all his heart and he knew he needed to tell him before he died "Cas...I...Oh god Cas NO I can't lose you, please stay with me, hold on Cas please...Cas I LOVE YOU, I love u with all my heart, I always have, I have NEVER hated you, I was scared Cas, everyone I love gets taken away from me, that's why I never told you, now me telling you I love you is too late, I'm sorry for what I did Cas, please forgive me?" he sobs
Cas smiles at Dean, he can go in peace, Dean loves him, he really loves him
"Dean its never too late for Love, I forgive you Dean, I Love you and I'll always be with you, I'll see you again one day...Dean...kiss me please?
Dean leans down pulls Cas up into his arms further and kisses Cas's bloody soft lips, he keeps kissing him, until Cas starts chocking on the blood and struggling to breathe, "I Love you Dean...Goodbye" Cas manages to whisper
"I love you too Cas...please baby...don't go...Cas?" Dean sobs back
Cas smiles at him, kisses Dean on the lips and breathes his final breath, he collapses dead in Deans arms, Dean holds him close and his world collapses around him. The sound of sirens can be heard, Dean vaguely remembers an ambulance arriving, and paramedics pulling him away screaming from Cas's body, he remembers them trying to bring cas back, the ride to the hospital, the sound of the defib machine, he remembers the look on the doctors face telling him that it was too late, that they were sorry, then everything went black.
1 week later, they held Cas's funeral, it was a small private gathering, Dean, Bobby, Gabriel & Chuck, they held it in Bobbys Garden underneath the willow tree, Dean had refused to salt and burn him, his Love for Cas had come too late for Dean but he was determined that he would get Cas back one day, no matter what, love would find a way.