SNAPE

(to the tune of 'Gump' by Weird Al)

Snape sat alone in the dungeon in the dark,

My name is Severus, he casually remarked

Waitin' for Albus and a Dark Arts Promotion

He just kept sayin' life is like a bottle of potion

He's Snape, he's Snape

What's in his head?

He's Snape, he's Snape, he's Snape,

Does he eat bread?

Snape was a big celebrity

For one game of Quidditch, he was a referee

Never gives points to Gryffindor because

Draco said it would be stupid if he does

He's Snape, he's Snape,

He's kinda mean

He's Snape, he's Snape, he's Snape

His hair ain't clean

Pour... pour... pour, pour the potion

Mix... mix... mix the mixture now

Stir... stir... stir, stir the Cauldron

Now... stop!

His buddy Draco was an ass-kissin' man

He kept earning more points for Slytherin

Snape knows lots about the Dark Arts, too

He went to Hogwarts, showed Dumbledore his tattoo

He's Snape, he's Snape,

He's kinda hot

He's Snape, he's Snape, he's Snape

And some think not

Is this Snape out of his head?

I think so

Does this Snape eat lots of bread?

I think so

Does this Snape want Quirrell dead?

I think so

And that's all I have to say about that!