Interesting Times
By GirlX2
My first HIMYM fic.
o0o0o0o
"Lilliputian Syndrome. The mysterious phenomenon, and where it came from tonight on Action News one." Robin plastered a cheesy grin on her face. "Our report will get you…shrinking about it."
'I. Hate. This. Job.'
o0o0o0o
A few days earlier…
o0o0o0o
Ted groaned. What the hell happened last night?
'I was out with Barney…we picked up some girls and came up here…they left, but it was so late, Barney just crashed in the tub…because he didn't want to get his suit wrinkled.'
Ted yawned and got out of bed. He had to get to work, although 'work' was now steps from the bedroom. Mosbius Designs could really BE something, if he could just get a client base…
He headed for the restroom, intending to kick Barney out of the tub and get on with his morning.
An empty suit greeted him. Ted frowned. The tie was still on the shirt, which was inside the suit. It was as if Barney had evaporated.
"Is this another magic trick?" He asked the empty air.
"…Ted!..."
A quiet scream reached Ted's ears. "Um. Barney?"
"Ted, help!"
"Where…where are you?"
"I…I don't know."
Barney's voice sounded way weird. Ted looked around the seemingly empty washroom again. The voice seemed to be coming from inside the suit…
'It's his cell phone.' Ted smiled, wondering what the gag was. He dug through the fabric.
"Okay Barney, I have no idea was the gag is, but it's…"
His jaw dropped.
A six-inch tall, naked, and visibly scared Barney met his eyes.
"Oh my God." Ted managed.
The scared expression left Barney's face. "Oh. This dream, okay."
"…Dream?"
"The dream where I'm in the land of giant horny women. I have no idea why you're here, though. Where are the chicks?"
"Barney…this isn't a dream."
Barney rolled his eyes. "Of course it is! Now…" He looked down at himself, puzzled. "…Help me suit up. Huh. Usually my suits are tiny too…weird."
Ted just stood there, letting Barney work things out.
"…And…I'm not tiny, I'm with giants. Everything else is my scale…"
Ted wondered how long this was going to take.
"…And…by now I should have met the amazons who desperately need my seed to breed an awesome race of super cool…" Barney's face went pale. "Oh, my God!"
"There it is." Ted sighed under his breath.
"Ted, help me!"
"What can I do?"
"I…don't know." Barney looked up at the walls of the tub. "Get me out of here."
Ted reached down, but stopped. "You're…kinda naked, dude."
"So?"
"It's there something in the Bro Code about not touching your bro when he's nude?"
"The Bro Code doesn't apply here, Ted!"
That gave Ted cause to pause. Barney was really freaked,
'As he has every right to be.' Ted steeled himself and picked Barney up.
Barney was shaking in Ted's hand. Ted slowly stood up, trying not to frighten his friend any more than he already was. Ted could feel his heart beating rapidly, his breath quick and shallow. He'd never seen Barney this scared.
'If that was you, you'd probably be screaming your head off.' As an afterthought, he grabbed the handkerchief out of Barney's suit pocket with his other hand.
Ted walked into the living room and placed Barney on the couch's end tabled. He laid the handkerchief at his feet.
"It's better than nothing."
"Thanks." Barney folded the cloth into a toga.
Ted watched him, fascinated. Barney was the size of an action figure.
"What happened to you, man?"
"I don't know. The last thing I remember was getting into the tub." Barney's voice was close to a whimper. Ted hadn't seen him this upset since he'd been hit by the bus.
"We've…we've gotta take you to a doctor or something."
"How would that help? It's not like people shrink everyday…or ever." Barney paced the tabletop. "I don't want anyone to see me like this. It's embarrassing."
"More like impossible." Ted murmured. "Maybe the news will have something."
"Ted, please that's the dumbest-"
He turned the TV on, it's volume thankfully low. The words 'Lilliputian Syndrome' flashed over pictures of tiny people. Some were even smaller than Barney.
"Well, that's just convenient."
o0o0o0o
A/N Yes, I'm obsessed with NPH and shrinking things...so this was inevitable.
