Sherlock Bloody Holmes
**I own nothing, though I wish I did, alas I do not, happy reading!**
"God damn it man, I'm a forensic scientist, not a miracle worker!" Louise huffed to Lestrade, who was tapping his foot impatiently, not wanting to be the bearer of this news. "I can't just magic a DNA comparison out of thin air, it takes time!" She continued, rolling her eyes, knowing that he knew this already, removing her plastic safety goggles and pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I know Lou, but they're for him, and you know how he gets when he has to wait for something." Lestrade elaborated, justifying his persistence, giving enough away for Louise to have clocked on.
"This DNA is for Sherlock bloody Holmes isn't it?" She asked, deadpan, unfortunately already knowing the answer.
"'Fraid so… Sorry." Greg sighed, attempting a smile that he hoped looked reassuring.
Louise let out a groan and allowed her head to fall and clank down onto her metal workstation, allowing the cool surface to try and soothe the headache she knew would be soon to come, and it wasn't going to be from her head hitting a hard surface.
"Oh Greg please no, he last time I worked some DNA for him, he made me re-run the results 5 times and then he practically took over my lab! I know where everything is, he mucks everything about and moves things and I have to put everything back in order! Last time I was just about allowed to keep my computer and my microscope!" Lou whined, turning her head towards her friend of two years. About to continue with her rant of Sherlock induced pity, when she was interrupted by the text tone of Greg's phone.
"Please tell me that's not him." She begged, pleading to Greg with her eyes, and as if like magic the double doors sprung open and she heard the unfortunately familiar quickened pace of the aforementioned Mr Holmes.
"I'm afraid it is me Miss Bell, but the text was not from myself actually, George probably has to rush off to some utterly boring crime scene I should imagine." Sherlock retaliated, glancing over to Lestrade who was currently proving him right, as the Detective started making his way towards the door.
"Sorry Lou, he's right, got to go; homicide in Camden." He explained with a wave of his hand, leaving the scientist and the consulting detective alone in Louise's lab.
"Yay. More work for me later!" She muttered sarcastically, before turning her head on the table to face her reluctantly accepted lab-guest.
"So Miss Bell, where's my comparison?" Sherlock asked, or rather demanded of her in his usual abrupt fashion.
Louise resisted the urge to roll her eyes, sat up and crossed her arms in front of her. "In the queue, your samples aren't the only ones to go through my lab you know, I've got all of the Day-Shift of Scotland Yard's cases to get through too you know." She replied, a mix of frustration and repetition laced in her voice.
"So you keep telling me, you really should allow me to lend my services on the rare occasion that I do come down to grace your lab with my presence, so much more work would get done and I'd get my DNA back quicker." He said, turning his attention to the test tubes on the metallic worktop behind Louise. As he was about to pick one up and examine it, Louise span on her chair and slapped his hand away before he could get the chance. "You really are quite like a bitch marking her territory, you know." He muttered, flashing a quick knowing smile.
Picking up the entire rack of the tubed substances, she twirled back around and placed it beside her computer.
"A bitch I may be, but from Monday to Friday, this lab is mine, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't hijack my lab again." She enforced, standing up and poking him in the chest with her index finger, as a comparison flashed up on the screen; the words 'NO MATCH' emblazoned upon it. "And I'd never let you touch a single sample in this room, there is such a thing as chain of evidence, you know." Louise finished, throwing his words back at him as she sat back down, pushing her wheelie chair over towards the landline, dialling an extension and letting the respective detective know of the results that had just come in on their case, this particular one was for Collins or Carlton or something, wasn't a nice guy, so she didn't care to remember his name. Wheeling back over to her computer, she tapped a few buttons to send the printout to the main Scotland Yard building.
"There you go Mr Holmes; your results should be after the next set." She smiled sarcastically, taking her test tubes and wheeling herself to her chemical table.
"New shoes hurting you then." Sherlock spoke up, glancing at Louise's skull and crossbones patterned socks before taking a seat on one of the stools dotted around the lab.
"Very astute of you Mr Holmes, I can see why they regard you so highly around here." She scoffed, taking a pipette and adding hydrochloric acid to the leftmost test tube.
"I could deduce you if you wish, in fact I have deduced you, however every time I do try to present my observations out loud you stick your fingers in your ears and sing obnoxiously loudly." He retorted, setting off the Newton's Cradle on her desk.
"I've never doubted your brilliance Holmes, word of mouth is good enough for me, and also I'd rather not inflate your already gargantuan sized ego. I already know my life story, I don't need to be told the abbreviated version." She defended with a shrug.
Sherlock rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath. "Typical hostile Essex girl."
Louise merely narrowed her eyes at him and set aside her chemistry implements, before slipping her old pair of shoes on and grabbing her tattered old leather jacket. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a packet of 20 Chesterfield Red cigarettes.
"You coming? There's still 10 minutes left until the next lot of results will be done processing and I'd rather you didn't get bored again in here." Lou suggested, shaking the box slightly, allowing the cigarettes and lighter to rattle around.
"Thought you'd never ask." Sherlock gave a smile, walking up to her, taking the box and strode ahead of her towards the back exit.
Quickly swiping her keycard to lock the room behind her, she caught up with him and leaned on the wall beside him, taking the pack back from him, finding he'd already helped himself, had lit up and was already puffing away. Lighting her own cigarette, she breathed in the wonderful familiar nicotine cocktail.
"This is why I tolerate you Miss Bell, you do have one redeeming feature, you actually allow me to smoke in peace." Sherlock stated, whilst expelling the smoke from his lungs.
"Charming as ever Mr Holmes" She chuckled, before taking another drag, flicking some ash towards Sherlock's shoes and missing her intended target and continued. "What can I say, you're a grown man, who can make his own decisions regarding the state of his own lungs."
"A perfectly logical conclusion I must say." He replied. The pair fell into a comfortable silence after that, finishing their cigarettes after about 5 more minutes, they made their way back to Louise's lab.
If you think this is even mildly okay, do let me know and squiggle me up a review, I also greatly appreciate constructive criticism, so come at me with your knowledge nuggets, please and thank you!
DeathFrizbee