Author: The Chibi Hime
Author's notes: Welcome to the dark side of Larissa..see? I can be as much depressing as I can be silly, so there. Take that critics!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kagome or any related characters, I promise, Rumiko can keep her.
Summary: It has basically been two years since Kagome has last visited InuYasha's time, refusing to return. The 17 year old gets good grades in school, although she seems to be depressed alot of the time. In other words, Kagome has changed, and her pain shows. What is about the past that torments her so?
Chapter one: Tears are for the weak
The floor had not seemed quite so comfortable as it usually had. Kagome lay on her back in the middle of her living room floor, sprawled out so that there was little room for walking at all! Her mother had often yelled at her for doing this, but she didn't care in the slightest. She enjoyed tripping her unsuspecting brother anyhow.
Kagome was now 17 and it had been two years since she had last visited InuYasha's era. She would often try to make herself forget, but she never could. It was all too painful.
Kagome sat up right, looking at the room around her. The room had changed as well, it seemed a lot different. Last year, her Grandfather had passed away unsuspectingly from a heart attack. This, also, was something that pained her when ever she thought of it, so she often chose not to, although it, same as her thoughts of InuYasha, was hard to block out. Somehow, she detected something strange whenever she gazed at her surroundings while sitting in the middle of the living room floor. Even though it would be hard to tell someone was missing from the room to most, Kagome could tell, just by the mere sight of the room she would get that same empty feeling each time.
"Kagome, dear." Kagome's mother almost whispered from the doorway leading outside. "The bus is coming, you'd better get outside"
Kagome sighed heavily, hoisting herself up from the ground and trudged lazily over to the door. School was something more than torture, it was something that made you think that you'd rather slit your wrists than attend. That, Kagome had tried once. Of course, she did not succeed, although, even half a year later, she still had the guidance counselor following her around, making her attend long, treacherous, boring meetings while they had their heart filled "Talks" this, made her want to slit her wrists even more. To lighten up the mood,as a joke she had mentioned that thought to someone, which of course, she should have known was a horrible idea. Ever since, she has had to take 2 sessions a week and was to be closely watched by "Friends" and teachers. This got extremely annoying, extremely quickly.
Stepping onto the bus, she could almost feel the tension of the other riders. She could feel everyone's gaze fall upon her as she turned paid the driver,and trudged down the long narrow isle. Choosing an empty seat near the back, Kagome plopped down into it, sinking down so that the little kids and their mothers in the front could no longer see her face. With sad eyes, she peered out the window. The birds were singing joyously, their beautiful songs filling the outside air. She couldn't understand how they could be so happy when she, herself, was so miserable.
She no longer had any friends, they all abandoned her and seemed to enjoy picking on her more than being at her side, and Kagome was fine with it. At least, that is what she had told herself.
Slowly, Kagome took a pen out of her pocket and marked the words "Life sucks, and then you-" on her hand, pausing while coming to the last word. She wrote this slower, and even more carefully than the previous words "die."
She didn't wish to die, and no one understood it. Her suicidal thoughts were strictly temporary and even then, she hadn't gone through with slitting her wrists. If she wanted to, she would have. She remembered holding the razor blade firmly in her hand and at the last moment, purposely missing the vain as she sliced through her skin. If her mother hadn't seen her, no one probably would have noticed. Her own nosey mother had ratted her out, and she hated her for that, even if she didn't truely hate her mother, she told herself this and almost believed it.
As quietly as she had gotten on, Kagome stood and trudged down the narrow isle. She could feel the eyes of the elderly still on her, but the little kids and their mothers seemed to had lost interest.
As soon as she was a safe distance from the bus, it pulled away, turning sharply to the right. There was still a little ways to walk, but it always seemed to calm her. Before, she had ridden her bike to school every day, since in Tokyo, there was no school bus system, but now, her bike lay untouched in the backyard for months.
When Kagome arrived at the front of the school building, she heaved a great sigh, turning most of the chattering teen's attention on her. She hated it when people stared at her.
Avoiding the eyes of her new audience , she gripped the strap of her book bag tightly and proceeded slowly to the doors leading into the school. As she passed, she could hear the excited whispers of students, as if kagome couldn't hear. To some, this was their exact intention.
When she found herself pulling open one of the school doors and stepping inside, she relaxed a little. The halls were empty, free of the constant gossip.
Shortly after her Grandfather's death, people had found out about Kagome's little adventures. They thought she was nuts, and now, suicidal. What idiots.
She turned right and glanced at the bulletin board, she didn't care what was on it, but she found herself doing this every day, any ways. Her dark eyes shot forward again almost instantly.
Kagome pushed her homeroom door open and slipped inside. The classroom was still empty , which was a relief to Kagome. It was her chance to be free of their piercing glares and stares, as if she was being accused of a Homicide, not a suicide. She walked calmly down to the very last seat in the fifth row and set her book bag down neatly next to her chair before slipping into her seat and laying her head on the desk. She watched as the birds continued their cheerful melody, she wished they would cut it out already. Why are they so deserving of happiness when she herself, was not. What had she done? She had done possibly the most generous thing in the world, letting InuYasha stay with her. She couldn't even think about the name, in fear she may cry and draw attention to the small so-far deserted classroom. So, in conclusion, she was "her" , and nothing more.
The door slid open once more without Kagome noticing. A tall, thin, brown haired girl stepped in, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. Slowly and carefully, she stuck something to the back of Kagome's seat. With a satisfied grin, she whipped back around and acted as if she had just entered the room, sitting down in the front of the row, calmly.
This time, the door swung open and a horde of girls flowed in, all giggling and talking amongst themselves. Kagome looked up at them, observing them. They really did remind her of the hordes of Youkai, long ago. This brought a tiny smile to her lips, thinking of the old days. She rarely smiled anymore. Her smile vanished when she remembered that the girl's attitudes resembled that of a horde of Youkai, as well.
The door opened for the last time and a rather short, fat, middle aged man stepped in. His square shaped spectacles covered almost his entire face and looked as if they were ready to leap onto the floor at any moment, judging by the way they balanced at the tip of his nose. "Good Morning Yoshiko-san" The entire class chorused, all except Kagome, who sat staring off into space, indifferent to the fact that the teacher had entered the room at all.
"Please sit up, Higurashi. This isn't nap time. " He scolded from the front of the classroom. His bushy black eyebrows narrowed slightly in a way that made him look rather monkey-ish. If Kagome was in the mood, she might have laughed. but instead, like a good girl, she sat up as he had asked, not being able to resist the need to roll her eyes, receiving an even more stern (and monkey-like) look from Mr. Yoshiko.
He turned sharply around to face the blackboard.
'What's that..' Kagome's eyes grew as she felt something gushy on the tips of her waist length black hair , as she leaned against the back of her chair.
Slowly, already knowing what it was, she turned to look at her hair. from the middle of her back all the way to her waist was a stretched piece of pink, chewed bubble gum.
The room erupted with muffled giggles and obnoxious snorts coming from the ones trying to suppress their laughter the most.
"It's not funny!" She screamed, letting the heat of the burning anger within her loose. The room became deadly silent, the sound of Kagome's voice had startled everyone and even made teachers from other rooms peek in to see what was wrong.
Mr.Yoshiko, more monkey-like than ever and fuming with noticeable rage glared deeply at the equally enraged teen.
"I DEMAND to know the meaning of this. Higurashi!!!" He growled, his voice loud, but still not measuring up to Kagome's.
"What? Are you stupid?..or just blind?" Kagome fumed, letting the words escape her lips without thinking about it first. She held out a fist full of her hair to the man, the sticky pink gush woven in and out of the strands.
Yoshiko-san's eyes looked as if they were ready to pop right out of their sockets, but Kagome still continued her challenging glare, not blinking once, this enraged him even further.
"KAGOME HIGURASHI!!!" He screamed "NEVER HAVE I HEARD SUCH DISRESPECT-"
Kagome cut him off "Go to the principles office RIGHT NOW. I know" She said this however, when she was already halfway out the door, her sticky hair draped over her shoulder and her book bag grasped tightly in the other hand.
Kagome stomped down the long empty hallway, a fire burning in her chest, the volcano within almost ready to unleash itself on the next unsuspecting idiot to speak to her. Instead of turning right , which was the way to the principals office, Kagome turned left, towards the girls bathroom.
The minute she had entered the large dimly lit bathroom, she fled to the sink and peered at herself in the large mirror, smudged with various finger prints and dust.
Calmly, Kagome reached into her backpack which she had set on the sink next to her, withdrawing a pair of razor sharp scissors. Within moments, she had snipped off her once long, black hair. When she gazed at herself in the mirror once more, her hair was at it's old length. The length it had been two years ago.
She didn't even bother cleaning the hair off the sink before fleeing from the bathroom and eventually, out the front doors of the school. She was going home, and nothing was going to stop her.
Perhaps it was how she looked that reminded her of the old days, or perhaps just the fact that she was just searching for a reason to remember, without even realizing it, but she did remember, and this pained her as it usually did on such occasions. Even if she refused to admit it to herself, she wanted it all back. All the memories, all her friends..and her InuYasha. He wasn't Kikyou's to have, she had begun to wish she hadn't sacrificed the jewel for such a thing.
"Kikyou..you should have stayed dead!" She whispered rather loudly, tears welling up in her eyes.
She fought with all her might to keep them back, she didn't want anyone to know her pain...she was already a freak, and that was enough.
'Tears are for the weak'
So there you have it, the dark side of the larissa, the darkness from within! orchestra plays a suspenseful tune Yes..I have my own orchestra..ahem Reveiw..It makes the world go 'round!