Author's Note: I started this story long ago and posted the first chapter. I've made a few changes to that now and hopefully fixed some of the mistakes. Since I'm really bad at posting things gradually I'm just not going to. So here it is, everything that I have. I hope you enjoy. -Ember (warning: Angst ahead)
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers or Marvel or any of the Marvel characters.
A Prayer to Artemis by November Murray
There was a time in Tony Stark's life when he would have enjoyed the lavish charity ball, the decorations that dripped in expense and the banquet tables that overflowed with decadence. At an earlier point in his life he would be at the center of the society affair with women on either arm flaunting his money and his fame to anyone with half a brain and anyone with more he would dazzle with his casual intellect leaving a wake of strong opinions, positive and negative. But that time in his life was over. So Tony Stark stood between half remembered acquaintances making small talk and forcing laughter, clinging to his drink like a lifeline.
It was between groups of disinterested party guests who didn't approve of his crime fighting lifestyle that he caught sight of the tall figure across the room. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him, or worse his PTSD. But then in the middle of pitching his newest project half heartedly to a potential investor he saw the haunting profile and his words drifted off. The third time he was sure, he would recognize that face anywhere. So drink in hand he approached, cautious under his well-practiced casual confidence.
His target caught sight of Stark when he was halfway across the room. Tony took pleasure in watching terror and dread flash across a face more accustom to smirks and knowing smiles. The man's green eyes went wide and his shoulders tensed. He became very still, holding his breath as his old enemy approached.
"Ms. Morgan," Tony addressed the woman first, "it's good to see you again. And might I say you look great."
"Flattery gets you nowhere, Stark," the old frog responded. She wasn't really much older than Tony but she did bear more than a passing resemblance to an amphibian.
"Worth a shot."
"If this is about the Artemis Project I want nothing to do with it. You've got your hands full with bad press and I don't trust not to drag my name through that mud pit of ethics and human rights bull!"
"Oh good, saves me the trouble of repeating myself."
"You're a fool, Anthony Stark. You should have stayed in weapons. You were at least good at that."
"I beg to differ, I was catastrophic," Tony replied and turned from her to her more handsome partner. "Have we met before, cause you look kind of familiar."
"No," the man said, having regained face as Tony talked to Ms. Morgan. "I don't believe I've had the honor."
"Oh well you know who I am."
"Tony Stark," the man responded with a tight smile.
"If you would excuse us Mr. Stark, Mr. Striver wanted a word with me," Ms. Morgan said and pulled on her date's arm.
"It was a pleasure," the man said to Tony with a self-satisfied smile as he walked (was dragged) past. But Tony's hand shot out, grabbing the man's arm just above the elbow and bringing the two other guests to a stop.
"No, it's not really cause I can't get this resemblance out of my head. I had this enemy see, once upon a time and you look just like him down to that sick smirk on your face," Tony was almost growling in the man's ear.
There was the clack of heals and a very flustered and red-faced Ms. Morgan appeared at Tony's elbow. "John will be hearing about this!" She hissed at the man and he paled, eyes going wide with sudden desperation.
"No, please, Ms. Morgan…" But she was already stalking away, wide feet in her low heals making loud tap-splat sounds as she went.
"Oops, lost your date?" Tony said happily. "Come on, you couldn't have been that interested in her," he continued when the man's face fell in disproportionate anguish. Tony let go of the man's arm when it started shaking. All he got was a dark glare of shimmering green eyes before the Loki look alike strode purposefully out of the building.
Tony was left standing in the middle of the room and blinking stupidly. He was sure, dead sure, would bet all his money and his suits that the man who'd just glared at him was the very same Loki who had thrown him out a window five years ago.
"More Champaign sir?" A waiter asked and stupidly Tony nodded and handed over his empty glass. He didn't wait to get a filled one though, instead he headed for the door. From the top of the steps outside he could see Loki's pale face and the light off the shoulders of his suit, walking swiftly down the street. He followed slowly, keeping his distance and straining to remember everything that Natasha and Clint had taught him about tailing a suspect.
Loki walked without hesitation to the nearest payphone, outside of a 24 hour drug store. He fished around in his pockets for a quarter before he could make the call and it gave Tony enough time to pull out his phone and turn on the custom directional microphone and point it toward the phone booth.
"I need a pick up."
"Corner of Lexington and 4th. No I didn't blow it."
"I know. Look just come pick me up."
"Tell Johnny I can explain." The soft sound of the dial tone interrupted Loki's desperate words. He leaned forward and put his head against the grafitied metal sides of the payphone and hung up. He didn't do more than look up in the ten minuets he waited for his ride. Tony waited and watched, becoming more and more sure of the resemblance with each minute but also more confused. Loki was running shaking hands through his hair when the beat up Mustang drove around and parked beside him illegally.
A tall man in a well fitted dark shirt and jeans got out, slipping on a white hat and dropping his cigarette on the curb. Two large men followed out of the back seat. Tony scrambled to get his mic back up before they started talking.
"You got a problem with the customer, Lulu?"
"No, Johnny I swear I didn't…" Loki didn't get to finish because a wave of Johnny's hand and his thug slammed Loki in the gut. Loki let out a moan and coughed wetly.
"Ah, Vinny, don't break the merchandise." Johnny complained then turned back to Loki. "Save your excuses, Lollipop. You're on strike 2 and I don't like givin' out third chances."
"Please… If I don't…"
"SHUT IT LUKE!" Tony thought his headphones would burst from the sudden noise. "The only thing you should be worried about," Johnny said softly again, bending down to Loki's level where he was curled up over his gut, "is which of my employees gets to collect the little princess."
"Johnny I swear I'll…"
"You just don't listen!" Johnny cut Loki off. He hand flashed out and Loki gave a short strangled cry of pain when it connected and he convulsed for a few seconds before Johnny let him collapse to the ground moaning.
"Get him in the car and be…" Tony cut off the speaker and flipped the camera around to take a picture of the license plate as Loki was ushered and shoved unceremoniously into the back seat with dumb and dumber. The car took off at an alarming pace.
"Jarvis," Tony said to his phone.
"Yes, Sir."
"Bring me my car and track that license plate, I want to know where they drop off Lulu."
"Right away, Sir." True to his word the AI delivered Tony's shinny black Tesla Model S to the corner in under four minutes. With Jarvis directing Tony caught up to the Mustang as it turned the corner after it's first stop. He slid to a silent stop at the curb between a group of trashcans and a rusted out Toyota with four slashed tires. He couldn't have looked more out of place in the seedy DC neighborhood. There wasn't a house without bars and grates over the windows nor a square yard without a cigarette butt and a scattering of litter. Tony leaned back and peered into the half light of the old buzzing streetlamps.
Loki looked just as out of place in his fine suit and clean shaven face. He seemed to feel it and once he had dusted himself off from a rough landing on the concrete he hurried to the door of a low one story apartment. He knocked tentatively then let himself in. Tony cut his engine and pulled out the mic again, pointing it through the open passenger window at the door.
"…back early, Luke."
"Yeah… Umm… didn't go as planned."
"Are you ok? You look a little ill."
"I-I just got mugged."
"Oh."
"Hey, I don't have any cash-"
"I wouldn't take it if you did."
"Shea, this is the third time this…"
"I don't mind, honest. You take care, Luke"
"You too, tell your father I said thank you."
"Course."
A dark skinned young girl about fourteen came out of the house, a glowing cell phone in her hand. Quickly she crossed the street to her own home, glancing warily up and down the street until she'd gotten inside and locked the doors tight. Tony could see Loki watching her, eyes following her and waving before she shut the door. Tony took his chance and got out, slinking quietly up to the door just as it was closing.
Tony jammed his hand in and held the metal door grill open. Loki felt the sudden resistance and turned quickly, just not fast enough. Tony had pried the door out of his hands and stood firmly in the doorway.
"Nice neighborhood," He said cheekily.
"Stark!"
"So you do know me now!" Tony grinned wider.
"Everyone knows who you are," Loki growled. "Now get out of my house."
"Umm… no." Tony replied and walked in. He could see Loki's balled fists and tight muscles. To be honest he was surprised the God hadn't attacked him yet but Loki had done a lot of strange things that evening.
"Nice place," Tony noted as he walked past battered furniture, a duck tapped leather couch covered in blankets, an outdated television and bare cracked walls. "Doesn't compare to Asgard does it?"
"Please be quiet," Loki said through gritted teeth.
"Why? Is your buddy listening? What's his name Heim—a—something." Tony said and tapped his chin, watching veins popping in Loki's forehead. "I'll remember it, give me a minute."
"Please just leave. I don't know you and I don't want any trouble."
"Come on, God of Mischief always wants trouble."
"Please keep your voice down," Loki was almost begging, Tony wanted to know what real begging looked like on the God up close. He was having a hard time not seeing the sneering look and sick smile that had tormented his dreams for so many years. Begging would be a nice change. He walked around as he talked and Loki moved in mirror to keep distance between them, pushing himself further into a corner.
"So what were you doing at that party?" Tony asked. "Something devious I bet, part of some grand plan, what? You need Ms. Morgan's money?" Tony asked and watched a cascade of barely concealed emotions wash over Loki's face; anger, horror, worry, frustration, shame, fear. The man backed away and his proud shoulders hunched. "What angle are you playing huh? What are you after? What kind of sick—"
"Daddy?"
Both men froze.
"Emily!" Loki breathed out and in a flurry of movement dashed across the room to the door where a small girl clung to the frame.
"Daddy are you ok?"
"I'm fine," Loki assured her in a voice that shook. "Just an old friend dropping by. Nothing to worry about. I'm sorry we woke you."
The little girl glanced from her father to Tony, who was standing dumbstruck in the middle of the room. She was small and thin, no older than seven. Her arms and legs were painfully thin sticking out of her oversized pink Disney t-shirt. Her bare head was covered in sparse red blond fuzz that caught the glow of her nightlight from inside the room. Her wide innocent blue eyes sent shivers down Tony's spine. Something about her smooth hairless brow and the dark circles under her eyes made the little girl look old beyond her years.
"Emie where's your hat?" Loki asked with worry.
"In bed."
"Go put it on."
"Where's Shea?"
"She went home."
"Why? She said you wouldn't be back until late."
"Things changed," Loki said with a tight throat and pushed her into the room. Tony watched through the doorway as the tall lanky man put the little girl to bed, securing a knitted hat over her fuzzy hair and tucked the sheets high up under her chin. Then he fumbled around with the cord of a tank tucked away behind the little child's bed, securing it under her nose. He said good night to her in a horse whisper and assured her again that everything was ok before shutting the door.
As soon as it clicked shut Loki turned with a piercing glare and stalked across the room until he was face to face with Tony.
"Alright!" He whispered harshly, "you're right, it's me. But by the Norns keep your voice down!"
"Fine," Tony whispered back with a dramatic sneer. "Cute kid." Loki went pale like he had back at the charity ball. "I'm not going to hurt her, that's your department." Tony said defensively. "Evil mastermi—"
"I have never sought to hurt children!" Loki hissed with true disgust in his eyes.
"Whatever," Tony said with a bitter note as he laid back on Loki's couch. It let off an aroma of mold as soon as he sat down and he wondered what was living in it. Tony decided to burn his clothes as soon as he got home just to be safe.
"So," He said and looked around again at the squalor. "The great would-be-king, reduced to this. I thought we sent you home to be punished."
"And I was," Loki replied, still standing.
"Doesn't look like it."
"You think I enjoy being here?"
"Maybe that's punishment for a God but I don't think it's going to fly with SHIELD. The way I see it you just got turned into one of us. That just makes us the same."
"The same? The same as you?" Loki gave a short laugh and glared at Tony. "You were born into money and power. You had parents who loved you and cared for you. You had opportunities and choices. You never had to beg and grovel at the feet of your enemies, you were never so desperate as I have been, you do not know the pain and the sufferings that I have watched and taken part in to survive and to protect…" Loki's voice trailed off and he turned away abruptly to hide the raw anguish and anger breaking across his face.
"So a few years of hardship makes up for…"
"You think I was speaking only of my banishment? You are a fool. I did not become the way that I am in merely a few human years."
"And that gives you a free pass to invade New York and kill hundreds of people."
"I have nothing to say."
"Nothing?"
"The time to say such things has past. Nothing I say now will change what you think, Stark. I am not so naïve as to believe that."
"You're a real piece of work you know that," Tony spat. "I should turn you over right now, New York still has the Death Penalty."
"No, please," Loki's demeanor changed faster than a light bulb being switched and he was truly begging now. He reached out with shaking hands as if he could snatch bake the offensive words. "Please, Emily has no one else. If you take me away from her…" His voice trembled and dropped low, "please… She… she shouldn't die alone."
It was less satisfying that Tony has hoped it would be, it actually wasn't satisfying at all. Loki's face was slack with shock and sorrow as he looked at Emily's closed door and there were dancing reflections in his eyes that spilled over silently down his cheeks.
"What's she got?" Tony asked, thinking of the tank nestled between the pink bedspread and the pealing wallpaper in the next room.
"Lung cancer," Loki whispered. "It's treatable but… it's expensive and she's not very strong. I… I do what I can but…" Loki took a deep shuddering breath the whispered so soft Tony almost didn't catch it. "If I had all my power I could cure her in the blink of an eye." Loki's eyes were focused somewhere in the far distance hungrily for a moment then they focused again on the dirty windowpanes and uneven floors of his home. His voice shook as he finished, "but instead I have to watch helplessly as her body tears itself apart."
"She yours?"
"In every way that matters, yes but no, she is not biologically mine."
"Didn't think so, too old. Why do you care then?" Tony asked. Loki looked at him and judged the open and un-hostile curiosity on Tony's face.
"If I tell you will you promise not to reveal me?"
"Sure. I guess. But I lie."
"I don't have any choice but to trust you," Loki replied and sank into a wooden chair with a roughly replaced leg and a few broken struts in the back. Taking a few breaths Loki started his story, "her mother was very kind to me. She found me on the Maryland coast. She was a single mother and she could use the help so I took care of Emily while I recovered."
"She just found you on the beach and said, great a free babysitter?" Tony asked incredulously.
"I see you won't be satisfied until you have the whole story."
"Well if I'm going to break the law for you, no."
"Fine. I won't tell you how I ended up on Assateague Island but that is where I met Susan Haywood, Emily's mother. She lived outside of West Ocean City in the house of an old widower. He had taken her in when she had no where to go and so she took me in as some kind of repayment, she felt… a kinship with me I guess." Loki made a grimace and picked at lint on his pants. "Susan had run from an abusive partner, Emily's father. She never asked where I came from or why I was alone, assuming correctly I had my own story. She was kind and trusting to a fault, and desperate. She left me home with Emily because the old man couldn't move around much and she worked in town. It was an agreeable arrangement."
"What happened to her?"
"He found her."
"Husband?" but Loki was shaking his head.
"They were never married, but yes. She was taking the Widower into town to the doctor when he found them. He was so high he rammed their car in an intersection. Susan made it to the hospital but there was nothing mortal medicine could do for her." Loki hissed the last words with venom. "Humans, you're so fragile, so easily killed."
"We manage."
"Somehow." Loki said it as a dry laugh, somewhere between true awe and disgust. "Tell me, do you ever feel naked without the armor? Do you ever feel vulnerable in just your skin?"
"Sometimes," Tony said uncomfortably, "but the armor is just an extension of my brain. Even if I don't have it I've still got this." Tony tapped his head.
"Yes, you would think that way." Loki looked away.
"So what? You all out of God juice?"
"What?"
"Well, you haven't shot balls of glowing death at me yet and you already said you can't fix little Orphan-Annie so what happened? Fizzed out?"
"It's a bit more comprehensive than that," Loki said calmly. "I am human, completely and utterly. I have a human body and a human lifespan. I have lived for two thousand and nine human years but I have barely two percent of that time left, less considering…" his gaze lifted to the barred windows and grimy panes of glass.
"I see what you mean, that guy that picked you up didn't look too happy… or forgiving."
"And I have you to thank for that!" Loki snapped, throwing a glare at Tony. It dissolved into an exhausted expression and Loki ran his hand over his face then through his hair, leaning back in the creaking chair and swallowing thickly.
"What did I do? Scare off your clientele?" Tony had meant it as a joke but the shame was so easy to see on Loki's face. The billionaire just stared with an open mouth, too shocked to be tactful.
"Uh… when did… why?" He fumbled for words. Loki looked away toward the door of Emily's room.
"The bills add up… I can't get much in the way of legitimate work. I lack the proper documentation. I can't exactly put Asgard down as my place of birth. So I do what I'm good at. First it was street fighting, which paid the bills for a while. But I'm too good at making enemies. I'm a fairly good judge of character; I got under their skin a little too well you could say. So I tried getting under their skin a different way. When it started it was just a little money to keep her clothed, keep good food on the table. Then John Miller found me. Spineless narcissistic fool that he is, Emily would be dead six months ago without the money he could get me." Loki whispered the confession.
"Shit," Tony breathed. "And you don't want me to tell your brother—"
"No!" Loki shot up out of his chair as if shot.
"Ok, ok." Tony held up his hands. "Just seems like you need help."
"No. I…" Loki gulped, "the God of Mischief has too many enemies and I have no way of protecting her from them as I am now. He can't help her and neither will… they." Loki pointed up vaguely. "It is not their way to interfere with mortals."
"Hmmm."
"Are you satisfied, Mr. Stark? We had a deal should you chose to honor it, and I really would like to get some sleep tonight. I have an early shift tomorrow so I can take Emily to the hospital."
"Chemo?"
"Yes."
"Umm… about…" Tony fumbled for words.
"It's nothing you need concern yourself about, Mr. Stark. Please just leave," Loki cut him off, standing.
"No, wait," little Emily's voice made them both jump again and she came scurrying out of her room to grab onto Loki's leg.
"Emily, I told you to—"
"But he's Iron Man!"
"Yes I am," Tony said, squatting down to her level and smiling.
"How do you know my dad?" She asked.
"Oh we go way back," Tony said with a grin. Outside there was a crashing sound and Loki moved to the window quickly leaving Tony with Emily.
"Mr. IronMan, where's your suit?" She asked.
"Oh I left it in the car," he said with a shrug.
"Oh," she stared at him unflinchingly.
"How would you like an autograph," Tony offered.
"A what?"
"It's like proof that you really met me."
"Ok."
"Stark," Loki said from the window. "I believe someone is trying to steal your car."
"Oh shit!" Tony scrambled to finish his signature. He folded the paper sloppily and pushed it into the kid's hand with a wink. "Don't lose that." He told her as he jumped up.
"It was fun Reindeer Games."
"Hardly," Loki replied, coming to stand behind his daughter.
"Lighten up," Tony replied, "mortality ain't so bad."
"That is not what keeps me up at night," Loki replied blandly and put his hands on his adopted daughter's shoulders.
"Then what does?" Tony asked as he backed out the door.
"Gods," Loki replied as the door swung shut and locked with a click. Tony stood in mild confusion for a moment then walked down the garden path, calling his suit through his headset as he did. The trunk of the Tesla flew open and the three car thieves beside it jumped out of their skin. They took one look at Iron Man standing on the sidewalk before making a break for the shadowed allies between houses and wire mesh fencing, holding their pants up with one hand and their hats on with the other. Tony just shook his head and went to inspect the damage.
Emily watched in rapture as the whole scene unfolded.
"He's really IronMan, daddy!" She said with a wide smile, looking up at her father. He looked tired; he always looked tired. But this time it was different. "He gave me his autograph too… I can share it with you." She said and held up the piece of paper Tony had shoved in her hand. Loki looked down at her curiously and bent to take the piece of paper. He sucked in a sharp breath and quickly flattened out the check. Tony Stark's scrawling signature decorated the bottom under the crisp numbers; 15,000.00. There was even a note at the bottom: for Emily.
"What's wrong Daddy?" the little girl asked and Loki looked down at her and smiled as best he could.
"Nothing, Emie. Everything's wonderful." Loki pulled her into his embrace and she hugged him back with her thin bony arms. "Everything's going to be ok." He said as much for her as for himself, relief and joy and treacherous hope washing over him.
Author's Note: I wrote this story on a whim based on the summary of another fanfic. It developed into something more and then just kept going. It's more than 40 thousand words now and still not finished. I'll post the ending once I've found the motivation to write it. (You can help by reviewing!) –Ember