Hello All!
Hey guys,
So, some may remember me as pen name: conscience-artist where I have done stories such as The Hard Times of One Genevra Jean Weasley and The Rough Times of One Rose Genevra Jean Weasley. I have since made a new fanfic due to not having that pen name or login anymore (please see my profile). I am starting a new fanfic account as part of me wants to disassociate from my old fics and re-write them. So, if you're a old follower, I am re-writing my fics and hopefully making them better.
I am doing a disclaimer for the entire story right now, right here: I am NOT JK Rowling, I do not have anything legally to do with her characters except for the fact that I love them. I do not earn money to write, I am not famous for writing Harry Potter, I am just a mum who likes to write when her kids are asleep.
Now, continue.
Prologue
Have you ever found yourself lying?
For example: Your mum tells you to clean your room; you don't clean your room. Your mum comes home and asks if you have cleaned your room. She's looking at you straight in the eye and you're looking back at her.
"Of course I've cleaned my room!" you reply. But you haven't cleaned your room.
But have you ever lied to yourself? You're arguing with yourself in your mind. Of course I will study tonight. But you don't study that night, or the night after that. And you find yourself binge-studying three hours before your Charms exam and your eyes are falling out of their sockets and you haven't eaten in ten hours and shit, was the smell coming from your body?
What about something a little deeper than that?
What if you had promised yourself you would never, ever, ever fall for his smile again, or the way he says 'howsit?' as if it was an official greeting or the way he bites his lip when he concentrates.
Or the way he smirks when he watches you study because Merlin, I hate being distracted if I am supposed to be studying.
His fists had hit the wall and his hair was wet, his knuckles had been dripping with I don't even knows whose blood when he said something that hit me.
"When you have nothing to care about, it becomes all about yourself."
Well this year I had tried not to care and I needed to spend more time on myself but as normal, there were too many things I tried to keep my concentration on and everyone accused me of always thinking about myself but isnt that the life of a fifteen year old?
When you have nothing to care about, it becomes all about yourself.
We lay at the top of the Astronomy Tower with the smoke of our cigarettes moving with the breeze, staying half a metre above us as he inhaled and exhaled.
I slipped one in between my own lips and looked across, his long legs crossed and he puffed his smoke in the air, a plume floating above him.
His school shirt was open and I could see the white of his flesh, a red, web like mark spreading across his chest and the dips showing where his muscles separated.
My own smoke tasted horrible on my tongue but I inhaled too. Night thirty-six here in the astronomy tower I had counted.
Thirty-six nights of lying here next to him…
I hold back the need to cough and I know he can see me holding it in, smirking at me as if I was an idiot.
His blonde hair spread against the concrete and his chest rising and falling, a desperate, sharp breath through his teeth.
I couldn't help but watch him; it was part of my daily routine, a part I looked forward too, and a part that made me feel at ease.
His stomach sank and he breathed out, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips.
"You ever wish we could stay up here?" I asked him.
I saw him smile to himself, a laugh escape his lips. "Forever."
His Irish drawl. Something that used to irritate me to no end but now had the comfort of lying in your own linen or showering in our own shower.
I tried to hold back my own smile, not wanting to show him just how much his simple words made me feel. "Would it be selfish of us?"
Scorpius rolled over to look at me in the eye. "When you have nothing to care about it ends up being all about yourself."
I had something to care about now. This wasn't about myself any more It was about him. And now I feel more selfish than I had ever before.