"I
don't remember."
Three
little words that were enough to send Nathan's world crashing down on
him. All this time he had thought Peter had been dead, that his
little brother had been ripped apart by the explosion and to be never
whole again. The last months had been horrible, he couldn't be in
congress when he was grieving, when it hurt to breathe, to talk, to
think without Peter. And after Peter, his divorce had came through,
sending him even deeper into his depression to the point where he no
longer cared how he looked, no longer shaved or even looked into a
mirror. If only he had listened, if only he had taken his brother
more serious, if only...
There were so much ifs, so much regrets so when the news reached him that Peter was still alive...he had been happy enough to cry. Happy enough to shave off the horrid beard and get a haircut, to make himself look good again so he could welcome Peter back like nothing had changed. Even though everything did change, Peter himself wasn't like he used to be.
The long floppy hair was gone, reduced to a short buzz that still looked good on the former nurse but it wasn't the same. The warm caring brown eyes now bore a haunted look, the slight lanky figure was more muscled and he looked tougher. This wasn't his young dreamy naive kid brother that was looking for his purpose in his life. This was a hardened and haunted man with an aura of self confidence, a man that could scare people if he wanted to. And he looked capable of that as well. It even made Nathan hesitate before pulling Peter into a hug, letting go quickly when he felt the young man stiffen and didn't return the hug at all. And then came those words.
"I
don't remember."
Everything
he had shared with Peter, everything they had been through, this
tight bond even Nathan couldn't deny, it was all gone. He already
missed that crooked grin that was Peter's trademark, what women
always had found attractive. Understandable too, Pete was like a
puppy and no matter what; he had never wanted to hurt the kid. He had
done so in the past and Peter had always forgiven him, no matter how
bad the hurt. He had caught Peter when he fell, always. And this once
when Pete had needed him the most, he had failed, leaving him with a
stranger that bore the name and the appearance but not the spirit his
brother was.
"I'll help you remember."
He would try his hardest to help him remember and even if it was a lost cause, he could help Peter get some more memories. He tried his hardest to push away the shock and pain at learning that his little brother had no memories, nothing at all of them. All those years were gone, all those years they had shared this tight bond neither of them denied having, washed away with the three little words Peter had said when Nathan had pulled him into a tight embrace.
Those three little words were all Peter said after he had stiffened in Nathan's embrace and pulled away almost embarrassed. It was a good thing Nathan hadn't kissed him, he might get punched by the powerful man his brother now seemed to be. He was still Peter though, his Peter. The man he loved more then he would ever love life itself.
He still remembered the first time when it was obvious that the feelings they had for each other weren't brotherly at all. Neither had acted upon it because they were family, they couldn't be more. Or so they had reasoned. Everything had changed though when Peter had jumped off that building, expecting to fly and Nathan had caught him. Right at that moment, even though his whole world was screwed because congressmen didn't fly, he knew that he couldn't be without Peter. The thought was enough to make him want to cry. That day, when he brought Peter home from the hospital, things changed.
"Easy now, don't rush yourself."
Peter threw Nathan a glare when the older man tried to help him settle on the couch in the apartment that never had met Nathan's approval to begin with. But to Peter it was home because he had did this on his own without the help of the family money.
"I'm fine, I dunno why I passed out but I'm fine."
Nathan Petrelli rolled his eyes; his kid brother would say he was fine even when his leg was cut off. And yes the docters had said the young man was fine and only a little shaken up but that didn't mean it was all good. Nathan still had the sight of Peter jumping off the building buried in his mind. Not a picture he wanted to get used to.
"Humour me," he muttered, handing Peter another pillow, fluffing up the ones already there and tucking a blanket over the slight frame to make him more comfortable. He never was a mother hen, more like telling others to 'suck it up' and he felt his brothers surprised look on him though ignoring it, getting something to drink for the both of them, When he handed the coke to Peter and settled next to him on a chair he finally responded to the looks.
"What?"
"What's up with you? You're practically playing nurse and you hate being all soft and sentimental."
Nathan winched at the words he had used against Peter thrown back at him, but still thought this was different. He was playing nurse for family and not some dying old man that was a complete stranger to him. It wasn't nearly the same.
"I can't take care of my brother anymore?"
"Your vision of taking care of me consists of offering me a job in your campagne because you think being a nurse isn't a job for a real guy anyways. And now you're fluffing my pillows and handing me a blanky. Next thing you'll do is kiss my boo boo's all better."
"I didn't fluff, I don't fluff. I was just getting you more comfortable after your crazy jump of a very high building!"
"Which you admitted wasn't that crazy because we both flew. So again, what's up with you?"
Nathan went silent; staring at the can of coke like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He couldn't tell Peter that all he wanted right now was to actually kiss him, and not to pretend to make the hurt go away, but to taste that pouty crooked lip and make his brother smile again. It had been so long since he had seen his brother smile.
"Nathan?"
"It's nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Yeah."
"So nothing has you gone into mother hen mode and has you practically silent even though you're a politician and all politicians ever do and good at is talking."
"It seems the roles are reversed now."
That was enough to earn Nathan a hurt look as Peter did shut up, just not how he had wanted it to go. As the silence stretched, seconds turning into minutes, long enough for him to drain the entire can of cola, he softly sighed. His little brother was good in this, the silent treatments, he could outlast just about anyone if he wanted to, he was stubborn enough for it. Fifteen minutes later Nathan's patience had worn thin and he decided maybe he should make the first step since he was the one who had caused this in the first place.
"Pete?"
"Hmm?"
Nathan smiled gently, his young brother was almost sound asleep on the couch, even though he had been insistent on the fact that he was fine, he was falling asleep in the middle of the day. If he stayed there on the small couch there would be a definite back strain later on. He could make Peter walk to his bed but the sight of him fighting to stay awake was just too cute. Not something he would say out loud, the nurse hated to be called 'cute'.
"Let's get you to bed."
A
murmured denial came from somewhere under the blanket, not that it
would help. What Nathan wanted, he would get. So he simply stood,
took the few strides over to the couch and gathered the light figure
in his arms, with blanket and all. Peter's head rolled against his
shoulder, resting there comfortably accompanied by a soft sigh.
Nathan slowly walked to the adjoined bedroom, his muscles only
lightly strained by his brother's weight. He never had weighed that
much, much to their mother and Nathan's disapproval, but Peter took
after his mother in appearance. Both had silky black hair, pale
porcelain skin, short length and a frail lithe figure. Though Peter
was more lean then frail.
The
bed was unmade, another true Peter thing, not a slob but he sure
wasn't into the whole house cleaning. Right now it was making it
easier to settle the half asleep figure into bed, even though Nathan
still thought no bed should be left like it showed it had been slept
in. Peter settled on his side the minute he touched the soft
mattress, curling into a foetal position. The older brother couldn't
resist, ruffling the long hair before leaning over to kiss goodbye.
The younger one hadn't been asleep yet though and glanced sideways to
mutter a goodbye as well. This resulted in the kiss landing on his
mouth instead of his cheek.
Brown eyes locked with brown eyes as they looked at each other in surprise. Nathan always kissed, on the forehead, on the top of Peter's head, on the cheek...never on the mouth though. Peter grinned sleepily at the faux pas, not thinking more of it. Nathan on the other hand resisted the urge to touch his own lips, because they tingled pleasantly after the sudden brush with the soft ones currently curled into a grin. He could just brush it off as a mistake and leave, but something made him hesitate, something in Peter's eyes. There was one urge he couldn't resist or ignore as he leaned over again, this time lips touching with intent. The intent to taste and explore. Peter seemed to hesitate at first, not responding at all for a few seconds before arms wrapped around Nathan's neck, kissing back with an eagerness that matched that of the older man. For a long time there was only the soft sound of their kiss while they explored each others moist mouth with their tongue. They broke apart when the need to breathe was greater then the need to taste.
"I should go," Nathan announced, shocked at what he had done, shocked at how much the sight of his brother with red rosy lips in bed aroused him. They both seemed to want it but they were still brothers, this was wrong. He couldn't even say how wrong this was. When Peter said nothing, he nodded, grabbing his coat from the chair in the living room. He was almost at the door when a soft voice stopped him.
"Don't go."
The jacket landed on the chair again, soon joined by the rest of Nathan's clothes, their connection changed from then on.
"Come home with me Peter, I'll help you remember."
The hesitant smile and the hope growing in Peter's eyes made Nathan realise there was still something of his little brother in there. It would take time, but he wasn't letting go of Peter again, never again.
