A/N: So um, hi guys! This is my first time posting in the Make it or Break it category, but I wanted to post this so much. I've been writing it for months and it has taken me forever to finish, but low and behold, here it is. If any of you follow me on tumblr (I own makeitorbreakitconfessions) I know I promised I'd have this out weeks ago but life is so crazy at the moment and this is really the first chance I've had. I hope you enjoy this, and I really hope you enjoy it enough to leave me a review! That's what I write for, for the reviews. For the readers. If I can't please them then I've failed as a writer. ANYWAY, on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Go One More

Characters: Kaylie-centric. Mentions other characters and their relationship with Kaylie, but again this is Kaylie centric.

Summary: Kaylie Cruz was 2009 Women's Gymnastics National Champion. She's one of the Rock Rebels, more importantly, though, she's a part of the Triple Threat. When the pressure to beat rival Genji Cho becomes too much, Kaylie falls victim to anorexia. Follow her story on her road to recovery, how gymnastics played a vital role in her diagnosis as well as her recovery, how her friends and team-mates influenced her, and how she overcame the struggles of anorexia.

I have everything to lose
By not getting up to fight
I might get used to giving up
So I am showing up tonight
I am my own enemy
The battle fought within my mind
If I can overcome step one
I can face the 99

Worlds, Rio, 2011

Kaylie Cruz, the current US National champion. She may have won nationals two years ago, but that doesn't mean she hasn't worked her ass off to get to this position. She was currently captain of the US World Team, and she couldn't be prouder they'd named her as captain. She needed that boost of confidence after recent events. She'd pushed herself that little bit too far and because of that, ended up not being able to compete for a few months because she was stuck in rehab, getting treatment for her eating disorder.

There was a fine line for gymnasts between eating properly for their sport and having an eating disorder, and she'd overstepped the mark between them. She didn't mean for it to happen, but she'd worked her entire life to be a gymnast, a successful one at that, and she wanted to beat Genji Cho so badly. She'd done everything she could to beat her, including trying to make herself smaller, more dynamic and lighter, just like Genji. She had to get that round off Arabian mount onto the uneven bars if she had any chance at competing at Genji Cho's level.

What she didn't realise is that by doing everything she could to get that mount perfect, her health had seriously deteriorated in the process. She'd stopped eating like a gymnast, and only ate to keep her strength up, and even then it wasn't very often she ate. She'd have a piece of fruit at most after exercising for around 2 hours on top of her gruelling 8 hour a day practice at the Rock. Before she knew it, she was skipping dinner, and pretty much every other meal of the day. She'd become more bone than muscle, and despite her thinking it was helping, it wasn't at all.

World team trials came around and Kaylie was no better off than she was before. The pressure was getting too her and her teammates, after being told there was to be absolute silence while each gymnast tried out everyone was off their game. Gymnastics was a team sport; the support of teammates makes all the difference between medalling and not even making the team.

After Sasha stormed the trials and demanded the NGO watched Payson perform her new and improved artistic floor routine, nobody bothered listening to Ellen Biels. Parents and family members (as well as Austin, who just couldn't stay away) sat in the audience and cheered on each respective girl. It made all the difference to every girl competing; they all upped their game and brought the best they had. But for Kaylie, it was a life saver, literally.

When her name was called for her rotation on beam, she took a deep breath and walked over to the apparatus. She mounted the beam perfectly; executing each move precisely with precision and making sure the aesthetics of the routine were perfect. She completed her first sequence of moves before launching into a back handspring double back. As she stood up and raised her arms above her head to regain her balance, she began to feel lightheaded and dizzy. She hadn't eaten properly, she knew that, but this couldn't happen to her now of all times. She needed this spot. She attempted to move into her next move, but couldn't centre herself well enough to do so. She fell straight from the beam and into Austin's waiting arms.

He was expecting it to happen. He'd tried so many times to convince her out of today, but she'd have none of it. He'd all but begged her not to do this, he'd seen it happen to his sister and he couldn't bare it to happen to her, too. But she hadn't listened and the same thing happened. If it hadn't been that he could tell the signs of anorexia, and he hadn't known that she would insist on competing, she'd have fallen straight to the ground and made her injuries worse.

It came as no surprise that when she'd woken up from her unconscious state they'd told her she was being admitted to a clinic for treatment. She wasn't happy about it, not at all. In elite gymnastics, you couldn't afford to take a day off, let alone months. She'd do everything in her power to get herself out of there.

At first, she was just blagging her way out, lying and pretending like Maeve taught her. She didn't think it mattered; she couldn't see anything wrong with her anyway. That was until Maeve died.

"The truth is, I'm just like Maeve, and I don't wanna die." She'd choked out to Damon at her funeral. After hearing Maeve's mom talk like she was getting better, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She had an eating disorder and needed help. She couldn't sit back and keep starving herself. She loved gymnastics, it was her life, and she eventually wanted to get back to it. She couldn't do that if she was dead.

After Maeve's death, she knew she had to stop kidding herself and actually get help. She stopped faking it, started eating properly again, did everything her counsellors and her doctors told her too, and within a few weeks she was allowed back to gymnastics.

It definitely wasn't an easy ride for her, since Sasha made it more than difficult to earn her position on the World team, but she did it. She and Austin had stayed late every night up until the competition between her and Tessa for the spot on the Worlds team, making sure she was perfect. It was definitely a risky move only competing on vault, but that was where the weakness lied for the current team and if she upped her game the most on vault, Sasha would surely put her on the team. And he did. He nearly didn't, but he knew Austin was right, and decided putting Kaylie on the team would be the best thing for them.

She went to Worlds as team captain, believing she would only compete on vault. She had to prove to her critics that she was ready for this. The first day in Rio was terrible for the USA. They'd barely made the finals, and only had done thanks to Kelly's performance on bars. When Sasha confined them to their hotel room to work out their issues, initially they had thought it to be ridiculous. But a while after he left, the truth came out, the tears spilled and the four girls were more of a team than they ever thought they would be.

But Kaylie decided she couldn't hide behind the lie anymore. She couldn't pretend like she'd just torn her ACL anymore. She couldn't keep lying, especially when her best friends, teammates and even Kelly friggin' Parker all came clean and told all their secrets and the one that she did have, she couldn't tell. She couldn't do that to her teammates, nor could she do it to herself.

If she told the press the real reason she was out of competition for months, her score would go down dramatically. And because she was captain, so would her teammates. The sport should be judged on talent, on how you perform in competition, and it is, but perception plays a huge role in the gymnastics world. If a team were to be found out for having an anorexic on their team, they would be shamed. They would be seen as weak, incapable, dangerous. It would show they couldn't look after their girls properly.

But she couldn't take the lying. She was no good at it and it felt wrong. So that's when she decided she had to tell the truth. She had her teammates support, and she was going to tell the world she was anorexic whether the NGO agreed to it or not.

When she did, her teammates stood by her side and supported her, just like they'd said they would. Finally the truth was out and she didn't have to keep lying about it. Having the truth out actually felt good and right, like it should've been told when she collapsed at World team trials. She'd been forced to hide it for so long, and now it was out, she felt better. Whether or not it was going to affect their scores tomorrow was another matter, but all they could do was give it their best shot and hope the revelation that had shocked the gymnastics world wouldn't shock the judges into lowering their scores.

The morning came and the four girls were feeling more confident than ever about today's competition and vowed to bring their best. They spent the morning together training one final time before competition, just to ensure they had their best shot at winning. After a gruelling training session, they left the gym and headed back to the hotel to pick up their things for competition. Once it was all together, they left the hotel and headed to the arena, where they would spend the next few hours of the day getting ready before competition.

They got themselves changed into their competition leotards in their dressing room, before they pulled on their warm up bottoms and got to work on the rest of their appearance. Team unity was always important in team finals, which is the reason every team wore matching leotards. The leotards the girls wore were blue in colour with white sleeves and red material around the end of the sleeves and a crossover strap type pattern at the top of the leotard. It was normal for countries to wear their flags colours on their leotards in team competitions, whereas in individual competitions gymnasts tended to wear whatever leotard they pleased.

Once the leotards were on, they set to work on getting their hair sorted. Each style was intricate yet simple in its own right, and they had a great time teaching each other how to get that style just right so in the next competition, they could do it themselves.

Kelly pulled a section of Kaylie's hair into a neat, tight twist, wrapped around a piece of red ribbon that they tied back into a low ponytail. The red ribbon showed through in little stripes, keeping a section of her hair between each one.

Kaylie had a laugh tying red ribbon into Kelly's signature devil buns on the top of her head. They tied her hair into two pigtails on the top of her head, before braiding her hair and twisting the red ribbon into her devil buns.

Payson and Lauren had put aside their differences and worked out their Max issues, and were now acting like the best friends they once were. Together with Kaylie, the three of them had become known as the Triple Threat. They'd have to think of another name for them now that Kelly was part of their team, they couldn't be known as the Triple Threat and Kelly Parker, that wasn't very team like.

Lauren, ever the complicated one, had insisted her hair be the most intricate, and that it was. Kaylie and Kelly stood on either side of her, French braiding that side. Payson then took each braid and twisted them together at the nape of her neck, tying it off with a red ribbon, like they all wore for team unity.

Finally, they French braided Payson's bangs and pulled them into her normal competition bun with the red ribbon the rest of them were wearing.

For Kaylie, there was nothing better than spending quality time like this with not only her teammates but her friends. They played a crucial part in her recovery, and sitting in this room with the three of them made her feel loved again. It made her feel so much better knowing she had the support of her friends and teammates. Whether or not their scores were affected by Kaylie's announcement, that was yet to be decided, but whatever the turnout was, she knew she'd have her team behind her and that was all she needed to get her through.

To match their new found confidence, they all shared the red lipstick they were going to wear, another part of their new found team unity. Judges preferred gymnasts to be without make up, wearing minimal if any, so that's what they were doing, keeping the make up to a minimum. They all wore the red lipstick and nothing else.

Eventually, the time came for them to walk into the arena and get the day of competition underway. Kaylie was team captain, so she led her team into the arena, flanked by her teammates behind her. They entered the arena with their smiles fixed to their faces, ready to show everyone their qualifying round was just a one off; they were serious and going for the gold this time.

Lauren was first off in competition on the beam. Lauren was always best on the beam, ever since she first started training at The Rock when she was eight. She went to all the meets and major competitions ranked first on the beam, and often placed for a medal. She was known to the world as the 'Queen of the Beam', and that she was. After Sasha told her to be more serious about her routine rather than flirty, she loaded her routine with skills. She looked good in training but it was always as if something was missing. When she performed in the qualifying round it was obvious she missed doing her routine her way. So today, Sasha told her to bring whatever she had. And that she certainly did. Kaylie had to laugh, Lauren was a fantastic gymnast but taking away her 'sizzle' as Payson called it was like taking a bone from a dog. When she got it back, she couldn't be happier. Kaylie and Payson embraced her as she finished her routine, congratulating her on showing the judges what she was capable of.

Payson was up next on vault. Her best chance for a medal was on floor, but she was competing in vault as well to prove herself. Kaylie hadn't felt right about lying to the Healthy Bar sponsors about eating healthily, so she'd done everything she could to get Payson the sponsorship. It all paid off in the end and they'd given her $25,000 down payment. If she medalled in competition, she could earn ten times that. Everything was riding on her performance, so she gave it all she had. Maybe a little too much, as when she'd landed, her ankle had given out on her and she'd fallen to the floor. Her teammates looked on in concern, especially Kaylie, since Payson was her best friend. When she made the decision to complete her second vault, Kaylie walked with her to the start of the runway and gave her some moral support.

"Hey." She started, rubbing her back. "As your captain and your friend, give it all you've got." She stopped walking and turned Payson to look at her. "Today, you own the vault." Payson nodded in response before wrapping her arms around her best friend. Kaylie returned the hug and wished her good luck before returning to her stance at the end of the runway, taking Lauren's hand and praying for Payson's safety, as well as her landing. After all of the crap Payson had been through, she had to stick this landing for her pride if nothing else.

She watched on in amazement as Payson battled the pain in her foot and ran the 82ft long runway, before launching herself into a two and a half twist. She watched as Payson flew through the air as if nothing was wrong before dropping her jaw in shock and amazement; Payson had actually done it. She'd stuck her landing on one foot, just like she said she would. She finished up her vault with the salute as mandatory before hopping over to her teammates and allowed herself to be engulfed by their hugs. She gave Kaylie a smile as they moved to the next rotation.

They all watched on in amazement as Genji Cho performed her floor routine, which, as always, was flawless. There was nothing to flaw within it, her landings were always perfect, her technical ability was beyond belief and her aesthetics were just what the judges wanted to see. She'd feel for whomever it was who was going to replace Payson and compete against Genji.

"I'm glad you are better, Kaylie Cruz." Genji stated as she walked past Kaylie, who was standing on the edge of the floor mat. She didn't quite know whether that was meant to be a snide remark or whether she actually cared, but either way, she was in disbelief.

She shook herself from the disbelief before joining Kelly and Sasha in their conversation. As team captain, she liked to make sure she was up to date on everything.

"I'm putting you on floor; Payson's ankle isn't strong enough. You can do this." He explained to Kelly. She looked to Kaylie for a moment as she nodded to her to give her the go ahead before looking back to Sasha.

"Not today." What was she doing? "I don't know why, I just feel off. You should use Kaylie; she can bring it home for us." Everyone knew gymnasts couldn't afford off days, you just got on and did what your coach told you too. How could she refuse this opportunity?

Sasha looked over to her, giving her a questioning look as if to ask her thoughts on the matter. She thought it was absolute madness that Kelly Parker of all people didn't want to compete, and wanted Kaylie to do it for her, but Kelly really had changed. She'd become one of the greatest friends Kaylie had.

"You don't have to do this." Kaylie stated, looking at Kelly. Kaylie had reworked her floor routine when she came out of rehab, but she wasn't nearly as practiced or as strong as Kelly.

"Yes I do; for the team." She replied with a smile. "You're on fire today and I'm not; so go get It." wow. If Kelly Parker believed in her, she had to take it. She nodded in response to Sasha's silent question and took a deep breath to calm herself. He gave the okay before walking away as the voiceover announced Kaylie would be replacing Payson on the floor. "Good luck." Kelly hugged Kaylie, genuinely for once. Kaylie quickly stripped herself of her warm ups and passed them to Kelly before moving into her starting position.

This is it; she thought to herself, if I'm ever going to get back to gymnastics properly, this is my time to prove it.

She began her first 22 seconds of dance elements as the music started up, before moving into the corner for her first tumbling pass: the double Arabian. She stuck the landing, as expected, and moved effortlessly into the next series of dance elements, again totalling about 22 seconds. Her next tumbling pass totalled a matter of seconds, flying through the air to the other side of the mat. She stuck the landing, and waited a second before moving into the final 10 seconds of dance elements.

When she finished her routine with the salute as mandatory, she smiled, knowing she'd done well. The crowd roared in excitement as Kaylie jogged over to her coach's waiting arms, hugging him in joy, before hugging her teammates and looking up to the scoreboard. She stood between Payson and Lauren, a hand of theirs on each of her arms and grinned as the scoreboard changed.

"Team USA wins the gold!" She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. Her routine, the one she'd given all she had and more to prove she was better than her eating disorder, had clinched them the team gold. Of course it wasn't all down to her, there is no I in team after all, but she'd helped. And right now, in the arms of her teammates, she couldn't be happier or prouder.

A short while later, the medalling teams stood on the podiums on the floor mat, team USA in the middle for the gold, team China on the left for silver and team Russia on the right for the bronze. It was crazy to think that not even a year ago The Rock girls were going up against China in an invitational to prove to the NGO they took the wrong six girls to China. Little over a year ago, Kaylie was crowned National champion. So much had happened in a year and she couldn't quite believe this was her life now.

She'd struggled with an eating disorder, and it nearly killed her. She thought she could fake her way out of rehab but when Maeve died, she couldn't lie anymore. Eventually the lie would catch her up and take her life, too. She didn't want that, she had so much to live for, so much potential to go further with her gymnastics. She couldn't do it to her family or her friends, either.

So yeah, she'd struggled. She'd struggled big time with anorexia and she didn't ever dare to believe she could be where she was today. She didn't think she'd make enough progress to get back to the Rock so quickly, and even then she never believed she'd make the World team. She didn't think she was strong enough, but Sasha obviously believed she was.

All the training, all the hard work, the non-existent social life, all of it boiled down to this moment: the moment she accepted her gold medal at Worlds.

"And accepting their gold medals: the team from the United States of America!" The voiceover boomed through the arena as various members of the FIG walked along the front of the podiums shaking hands and presenting medals to each of the girls. As they finished presenting the medals and the flowers, the girls pressed one free hand to their hearts and cried with pride in them as their national anthem played. As the tune finished and the red, white and blue balloons and confetti poured from the ceiling of the arena, the girls raised their flowers above their heads and held their medals with the other.

They had only ever dreamt of this moment, and now, the moment they'd been dreaming of their whole lives was no longer just a dream or a figment of reality; but actual reality. It was their lives, they were World team champions. Sure they still had the individual competitions over the next few days but they were a team. They were team champions. And to Kaylie, that meant more than some individual title.

It made her feel warm inside knowing they were team champions. Working out their issues and becoming a real team was something she'd wanted for a while, but never thought it feasible with Kelly Parker on the team. Knowing that her friends now classed Kelly Parker as not only their teammate but their friend made her feel optimistic.

She'd managed to forgive Kelly for stealing her journal; after all she could have done a lot worse than show it to her mom. She eventually came out with the truth about her time away from gymnastics, so holding onto a grudge would be pointless.

She did like having Kelly as a friend; she'd been a vital part of her recovery. She didn't feel as though she had to starve herself or lose more weight to beat the best now. Whether she cared to admit it or not, Kelly was the first one to say something about her eating disorder and for that she would be eternally grateful, despite the fact that it was her collapse at World team trials that caused her hospitalisation. And thanks to Kelly's new found team spirit and friendship in Kaylie, she was given the chance to compete with her new floor routine and given the feeling that though it was a team effort, her routine pulled them ahead of the Chinese and the Russian teams.

A while after being presented their medals, the team were left to mingle with their family and friends as well as the various media reporters covering the event. Kaylie stood in the crowd trying to locate someone she knew before she felt a familiar pair of arms wrap themselves around here. Austin.

"I'm so proud of you." He beamed, lifting her up effortlessly and twirling her around as she tightened her hold around his neck. She grinned back at him, keeping her arms locked around his neck as he spoke. "You inspire me."

Before she could respond, multiple journalists interrupted their moment, flashing their cameras and waving their recorders.

"Austin Tucker, there isn't anything between you and Kaylie Cruz is there?" One journalist asked as Austin put his arm around Kaylie's shoulder and pulled her close to him in a small side hug.

"Mr Cobalt doesn't have a girlfriend does he?"

Austin and Kaylie had fought about that a few days ago, and it hadn't ended well. Kaylie just wanted to know where she stood with him but he was too busy with his campaign, flashing his pretty boy smile and flexing his muscles to pay attention to her. She hadn't let it get to her, though; she came out fighting and proved all of her critics wrong. Maybe this journalist was exactly what they needed, someone to define their relationship once and for all.

"Yes I do. If she'll have me." He looked down at Kaylie hopefully. As soon as she flashed her signature grin he knew he had his answer. "Now she and I would like a little privacy." He finished as the journalists walked away, leaving them to their moment.

Within a second, Austin's lips were on hers. She sighed in happiness as she placed her hand on his face and kissed him back. She knew she'd get in trouble for it later, but right now, she didn't care one bit. Screw the rules, she thought. Austin Tucker was finally kissing her, just like she'd wanted him too ever since they met back in France, before her eating disorder was a problem, before Emily got pregnant and left the Rock, before Lauren's mom died. Everything was simpler then, but even more so now.

As he kissed her, she felt a warm feeling inside of her, almost like butterflies, but different. It was a moment between the two of them, officially boyfriend and girlfriend, that reassured her all of her work, all of her struggles, all of her training, all of her therapy, everything she'd done to recover, it was all worth it. She felt as though with Austin, none of her troubles mattered. She got the feeling that she was finally on her way back, and didn't have to prove herself to anybody anymore.

She didn't feel the need to starve herself to be the best. She didn't need to be thin to beat Genji Cho; her floor routine managed to do just that.

As the kiss came to its natural end, she smiled up at her new boyfriend before she felt someone tug on her hand, pulling her in the other direction.

"Excuse me, lovebird." Lauren's said with a giggle as she dragged her away. She flashed a smile in Austin's direction before turning the right way and following Lauren.

They weaved their way through the crowds before walking to the door of the arena, standing in the place they'd just competed. They met Payson as they stood there, and shared a group hug with smiles and laughter, before pulling away and staring up at the scoreboard.

It was almost surreal to them, they'd worked their whole lives dreaming of a moment like this, and finally, finally, they had it. They subconsciously all touched their gold medals around their necks before grabbing each other's hands and smiling like never before.

It was in that moment that Kaylie finally knew what she'd been missing since she started her battle with anorexia.

Her friends loved her and supported her. And that was a key role in the recovery of any anorexic, the love and support of friends and family. Kaylie had a huge support network; she'd just been missing it all this time.

But now she realised, the whole point in recovery was to get to a moment like this.

She finally felt like she didn't need to prove herself. She didn't need to starve herself and become dangerously thin to beat Genji Cho; she was capable of doing that at her regular size. She didn't need any confirmation that she was better than her besides the gold medal around her neck.

She finally felt worthy of something. She loved herself, she loved her friends and family, she loved gymnastics. She didn't need any sort of treatment to prove that much. Her coach was proud of her, much like the rest of her support network, which was all she ever wanted.

Her dreams were finally all coming true.

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