Jean Luc Picard preferred structure to chaos, he always had. Everything and everyone had a reason and place on where to be and how to act. In times of crisis he let his crew lead accordingly, not because he couldn't do it, but rather them doing so was their various duties and played into the order he craved.
To be spontaneous and fly off the cuff and live in the moment was always difficult for him. Any events had be preplanned weeks (if not longer) for him to mentally prepare himself for the gathering. Almost everyone on the ship knew and respected this.
Still there was one who constantly broke that little unsaid rule and chipped away at Picard's mental and emotional stability by assisting he attend functions day of, inviting herself to meals with him with no advanced warning.
He was torn every occurrence it happened. If anyone else had done it a silent red alert would be going off in his head. But when it was Beverly Crusher it actually calmed him. He found himself enjoying it.
Over time he found himself not only liking the way she helped create chaos in his life, but also found himself liking her. More than a collage. Feelings Picard so rarely used or thought of. That more than anything scared him. Especially with their vast history. He was her commander. She was the chief medical officer. And he couldn't allow himself to forget the fact she had been married to his close friend. Even in a mind beginning to accept chaos this was too much.
Beverly had noticed he was pulling back. Saying no to his attendance being requested at a poetry reading or latest production of Macbeth that was being performed. And suddenly he was always busy at every meal time she happened to be free.
After all this progress with him it hurt he was reversing back to the old Picard. She cared, even loved them both, but this more spontaneous one felt more free. More acceptable to her and almost everyone else for that manner.
Months past and the two almost become strangers. Beverly stopped reaching out for him. Picard tried to stop feeling the way he did about her. It won't work. It was starting to consume him. Worst of all it was affecting his position as captain. At least in his mind it was. This was too much chaos and a break from structure for him to handle.
When the pressure and emotional pull became too much Picard at last broke and spoke the truth freeing himself. His heart could only soar when she simply said me too and kissed him the cheek. Knowing that's all he would able to handle for now.