I had this idea not long ago to write two different versions of "the wedding night". The first one (titled: United at Last) assumed that Kemal Pamuk did indeed show Lady Mary the delights of passion. The second story (below) is based on that Mary did not actually have sex with Pamuk, but did all sorts of other delightfully naughty things that night. It will be posted in a few days.
…
Author: Athena
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Pairing: Lady Mary Crawley/Matthew Crawley. Featuring Isobel Crowley & Lady Violet Crawley (self-proclaimed Sex Therapists and Marriage Counselors)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: all seasons. Set in the future. Mary and Matthew are about to get married.
Summary: Mary and Matthew's wedding is only days away. Concerned that the young couple is far too inexperienced to know what to expect and what to do, two well-meaning ladies take it upon themselves to discuss the topic of the wedding night with Mary and Matthew.
With newfound knowledge of expectations, mingled with some trepidation, the newlywed couple approaches intimacy for the very first time together.
Author's Note: In Edwardian times, Egypt was a common destination for many aristocrats, which in turn led to certain Arabic words becoming fashionable. One such word was quim, which is used in this story in reference to a woman's sex.
…
Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!
...
LADY MARY'S SECRET
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Part I
Enlightening Matthew
"Ah, Matthew, there you are," Isobel said and smiled at her son. "Please come in and close the door."
"You wished to see me mother," he said and took a seat across from her.
"Yes." She smiled at him and sighed. "Had your father been alive I am sure that he would have had this conversation with you instead of me, but perhaps it is for the better that it is me."
"I am afraid that I do not quite follow."
"You are about to get married," she continued. "I just wanted to discuss with you what is to be expected of you." She raised an eyebrow. "In the bedroom."
He blushed furiously when it dawned on him what exactly it was his mother was talking about. "I am sure that I know enough, mother."
"Have you ever been with a woman who has not lain with a man?" she asked pointedly.
He shook his head and licked his lip a little nervously. "Of course I haven't."
"Exactly," she said pointedly. "Mary has lived a very sheltered life. I have no idea how much she knows about these things, if anything at all. I am afraid that it is up to you to take the lead, to teach her."
"I expected as much," he mumbled embarrassed.
"It can be very painful the first time for a woman," she said and looked him in the eyes. "You need to try to pace yourself and not rush things or it could be a very traumatic experience for her." She took a deep breath when he said nothing. "And there will be blood."
His eyebrows shot up. "I know," he said very softly.
"Good. I just wanted to be sure so that neither of you panic when you notice. She might still. For those not used to seeing blood it can be very upsetting."
"Certainly."
Isobel gazed at her son for a long moment. "Matthew, have you ever been with a woman?"
His face turned red. This was not a conversation that he wanted to have with his mother. He ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath. "Um, yes I have, mother."
"As much as I do not approve of it, I am glad, for Mary's sake," she said and gave him a stern look. "Was she happy with you?"
"What?" he croaked out and gaped at his mother.
"Was it a mutually rewarding experience or did you just relieve your needs with her?"
"Mother!" he said and stared wild-eyed at her.
"Well? Out with it."
"I think that she enjoyed it," he mumbled and felt his face and ears burn.
"Did you touch her breasts, her…"
"Mother!" he cried out in despair at her relentless aim at embarrassing him. Surely that was the only reason that she was carrying on at this point.
"Matthew, I'm a nurse. I know about the female body as well as the male. Did you touch her intimately? Do you know about that?"
He looked a little warily at her. "She showed me how to touch her and what she liked," he mumbled.
"So you know about a woman's pleasure center, her clitoris?" she asked and raised an eyebrow.
"Mother," he groaned in embarrassment.
"Matthew!" she said sternly. "At this point I care very little about your embarrassment. I only want to make sure that you know how to make your future wife happy, in every aspect. Knowing her intimately and making sure that she is comfortable and enjoys the experience will ensure your comfort and enjoyment, not to mention the prospect of children will greatly increase."
"Yes mother," he said and nodded. "I am sorry. It is just that I find it hard to discuss this with you."
"I absolutely understand that Matthew, but rest assured that there is nothing wrong about it."
He nodded and leaned back in his chair listening to his mother describe in detail how to make a woman spend. He was sure that his face was as red as his dress uniform, but he kept quiet, just listening to her explaining. When she started to talk about his performance, or lack thereof, he finally opened his mouth again.
"Mother, I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about in regards to my performance."
"I am glad to hear that. Still you are a young man. There might come a time when you will experience difficulty. She can help you by encouraging you."
He closed his mouth again as she continued to describe exactly what his wife could do to his body and manhood to ensure that he could perform in the bedroom. He swallowed at the thought of Mary doing such things to him and to his embarrassment he felt himself getting aroused at the prospect.
"So that pretty much covers it," Isobel finally said. "Do you have any questions?"
"No mother. I think you made it all very clear," he croaked out.
"Excellent," she said cheerfully. "Shall I call for tea?"
He coughed. She had just spend the better part of an hour talking in excruciating detail about what happens between husband and wife in the bedroom and now she wanted to have tea like nothing had happened. He shook his head and got up.
"I think I will take a walk," he said and smiled at her. "You have given me much to think about."
"I understand. You enjoy your walk, dear."
Matthew smiled weakly at her and left the room before she could drag him into any other embarrassing conversation. Isobel shook her head and smirked at his back.
"Oh Matthew," she whispered. "I do hope that the two of you will be happy."
Getting up, she rang the bell for tea.
.
Educating Lady Mary
"How are you, Mary my dear?" the Dowager Countess asked and smiled at her eldest granddaughter.
"Quite well thank you," Mary said and smiled. "Mama has finally stopped bothering me about my dress," she added with an amused chuckle, referring to an ongoing conversation that had spanned the last couple of weeks.
Violet chuckled and sipped her tea. "So how do you feel about getting married?"
Mary sobered and looked out the window while gathering her thoughts. "In awe really. Some mornings when I wake up it seems as if it must all have been a dream, and then I realize that it is in fact real."
"I am glad that you are looking forward to it. Not all of us were that lucky."
Mary nodded seriously. She sipped her tea thinking about the past; about how close she came to marrying Cousin Patrick, a man she did not love. She had known since she was quite young that marrying for love was a slim prospect for her.
"I do love him, Granny," she said and put her cup down.
"That should certainly help things along," Violet said and made a face. "Perhaps the chore will not be as dreadful if you truly love him."
"The chore?" Mary asked and tilted her head waiting for an explanation.
"What happens in the bedroom, dear," Violet said stiffly.
"Oh," Mary said and her cheeks flushed.
Violet gave Mary a sharp look. "That foreigner, did he violate you?"
"Granny!" Mary said, shocked at her grandmother's frankness. She felt her face burn and she looked down.
"Well? Should I assume that he did?"
Mary took a sip of her tea before answering. "He took many liberties with me that night," she said softly. "but he promised me that I would still be a virgin for my husband."
"I see," Violet said stiffly. "Does Matthew know this?"
"No."
"Why on earth not?" she exclaimed.
"I cannot talk about such things with him," Mary said embarrassed.
"I guess he will find out eventually," Violet said and made a face.
Mary nodded, still slightly uncomfortable about discussing it with her grandmother. She looked up at her as she gathered her thoughts.
"Why do you call it the chore?"
"It is messy, and uncomfortable at best, my dear, but unfortunately it is something that you need to endure in order to have a child."
"Surely it cannot be that bad," Mary said with a nervous little laugh, thinking of how thrilling it was to kiss Matthew, not to mention some of the delightfully naughty things that Pamuk had done to her.
"I am sorry to say my dear that it can be quite painful, especially the first time," Violet said and sighed. "It will get better after you have your first child."
"What?" Mary exclaimed, and her tea cup rattled on the saucer. "That could be years away."
"True. I doubt it though. Matthew seems to be a healthy young man. I am sure that he will find you most pleasing and will want to come to you often."
Mary blushed and looked out the window again. "He loves me. I know he does. Surely you don't think that he will hurt me."
"Not intentionally. Still it is known that men enjoy these things much more than women."
"I see."
"I didn't mean to scare you, my dear, I just want you to be prepared."
"I know."
Violet looked at her granddaughter, so beautiful and strong. She hoped that things would work out better for Mary than they had for her.
"Mary my dear, I don't know exactly what your mother has told you about your duties in the bedroom."
"Not much I'm afraid," Mary said and sighed.
"Whatever you do on your wedding night, dear, you must try to relax when you are with him."
"Relax?" Mary said with a laugh.
"He will most likely undress you and you will see him in undress too," Violet said and made a face.
"Granny!" Mary exclaimed.
"Oh hush child," Violet said sternly. "You're about to become his wife, you need to know what that means."
"I think I do," Mary said and thought back to the incident with the Turkish diplomat.
Violet gave her a sharp look. "It is not quite like what you read in novels my dear. When you are with him the first time it might be very painful and if you are tense the pain will only be worse."
"Oh."
"Yes. And you should be prepared for the fact that you will bleed."
Mary's head snapped up and she stared at her grandmother. "I thought that was just an old tale told to young women to scare them."
"Not at all my dear. The first time a woman is with a man he will open her and she will bleed."
"Dear God!" Mary covered her mouth in shock. "How frightfully embarrassing."
"Come now, dear," Violet said and smiled at her. "I am sure that Matthew knows about that. Most men do."
"I am afraid, Granny," Mary said in a small voice and looked at her with tears in her eyes. "It sounds dreadful."
Violet shrugged. "After the first time is should be tolerable."
"Tolerable?" Mary just stared at her grandmother in disbelief. "That's not much better."
"Perhaps you will learn to enjoy it. He does love you, so I am sure that he will be gentle with you."
Mary shivered at the prospect of her wedding night and what she now knew she must endure. Thinking back to her night with Pamuk she smiled briefly. He had made her feel very good and she had enjoyed his touch. How could the rest be so awful when that had felt so nice, she thought. Wishing that she could ask her grandmother about that she sighed as she knew that there was no way to pose the question without giving away too much of her own knowledge and experience. Mary sipped her tea and smiled at her grandmother.
"Thank you Granny for explaining these things to me. I will take your advice."
"You are most welcome my dear. I only wish you happiness."
Mary smiled at her and nodded.
.
.
Part II
The Wedding Night
Mary was at a loss. Should she wear her nightgown, or would Matthew expect her not to? She frowned in concentration, mulling over this dilemma as Anna carefully unpinned the tiara from her hair before undoing the elaborate arrangement to let Mary's hair fall in gentle waves down her back.
"Anna," she said a little hesitantly.
"Yes milady?" Anna smiled at her in the mirror.
"When you and Mr. Bates…" Mary closed her eyes and sighed in frustration.
"On our wedding night you mean, milady?" Anna said softly.
"Yes. Thank you," Mary smiled in relief at her. "What were you wearing?"
"Well, at first our nightclothes, but later…" she blushed and turned her eyes down.
"Oh, of course, no need to explain," Mary said quickly.
"I think Mr. Matthew would think you lovely in your new gown from Paris, if I may say so, milady." Anna smiled at her again.
"Excellent idea Anna."
Anna smiled to herself as she hung up the wedding dress. She knew little of what had transpired the night the Turkish diplomat had died in Lady Mary's room, but judging by her mistress' nervousness, Lady Mary was perhaps not as experienced as Anna had thought.
Finally dressed in her silk and lace nightgown, her hair brushed until it was shining and falling heavily over her shoulders, Mary smiled thankfully at her maid. Anna tucked a lock behind Lady Mary's ear and smiled at her.
"You look very beautiful."
"Thank you Anna."
"If I may say something," Anna said softly.
"Yes of course."
"Mr. Matthew is a very kind man. I don't think that you have anything to worry about milady. Just try to be calm and I'm sure everything will be fine."
"Thank you, Anna," Mary said and sighed.
"Yes milady. Is there anything else milady?"
"No thank you, Anna. You may retire for the night. I highly doubt that I will be needing anything," Mary said with a small smile.
Anna nodded and quietly slipped out of the room. She nodded to Moseley in the hallway and he stepped inside Mr. Crawley's dressing room again.
.
.
Mary quickly slipped into bed. She pulled the covers up to her chest and folded her hands on top staring up at the bed canopy. Her head was full of questions and concerns. She glanced at the door connecting the bedroom with the dressing room. Feeling silly she sat up and rearranged the pillows behind her until she was sitting up comfortably. The duvet covered her legs and she rested her hands on her stomach. When nothing happened, she started to get antsy. She fingered the lacy edge of the sheet, contemplating picking up her book. Abandoning the thought immediately since it would look silly to be reading in bed on your wedding night, she sighed and leaned back against the pillows.
The room was bathed in soft light from the bedside table lamp when Matthew entered the bedroom. Mary looked like a beautiful statue where she sat on the bed. He smiled at her and closed the door behind him.
"Good evening."
"Good evening," she said softly.
He untied his robe and hung it over her chair. He was wearing pale blue pajamas underneath. She smiled a little hesitantly when he stopped by the bed, but then raised an amused eyebrow when he did not move to get into bed.
"Are you going to get in, or are you going to stand there until your feet are so cold that you'll make me scream by putting them on me?" she teased.
He laughed and tossed the covers back and got in next to her. Smiling at her he gently caressed a lock of her hair.
"You are so beautiful. I am a very lucky man."
"I'll remind you of that when you are cross with me next time," she said stiffly, but her eyes twinkled and then she grinned at him.
"Mary," he said seriously. "I know that you're nervous about this. I can tell, and not that I want to bring it up, but I assume that there must be some mixed feelings about past memories from a similar setting."
"Yes," she said with a deep sigh. "I know this is different, but you are right of course. It has crossed my mind."
"I love you my darling and I only want to make you happy."
She smiled and nodded. When he reached for her she let him pull her to him. She eagerly tilted her head up as he cupped her chin. Their lips came together in a soft kiss, and she touched his face, caressing him and brushing his hair away. Mary rested her hand against his neck and sighed as his tongue met hers. Her arm curled naturally around his neck, stroking softly against the back of his neck.
He pulled her closer and caressed her. To Matthew's delight she seemed to enjoy his touch. He swallowed when he felt her breasts press against his chest through their thin night clothes. Leaning forward a little he eased her down on the bed and stretched out next to her. He rested his hand on her stomach for a moment before moving higher to cup her breast. She reacted immediately and he pulled away and smiled at her, his hand still on her breast.
"I'm not hurting you, am I?"
"No of course not. You just surprised me," she whispered.
He moved his hand, caressing the soft mound and then brushed his thumb over the nipple. She closed her eyes and sighed. He kept stroking her and she relaxed more and more. He called her name and she opened her eyes and smiled at him. Unable to resist, he kissed her, this time a bit more assertive and their tongues stroked against each other.
Mary was floating on a cloud. His hand felt so wonderful. Her body was tingling everywhere he touched her. She remembered being touched like this, but it had not felt as wonderful as when Matthew touched her now. She felt his hand on her hip and then lower, touching her thigh. She trembled in anticipation. It tickled when he slowly pulled her nightgown up over her thigh and she giggled against his lips. He pulled away and she smiled at him. When she felt his palm against her thigh she kissed him, holding him tight against her.
Matthew could not believe how soft her skin was. He held still on her hip for a moment before cupping her behind to pull her against him. She gasped and her eyes closed. She trembled and he rubbed her soft buttocks to comfort her. It did not seem to work; instead she seemed to tremble more.
"Oh Matthew," she sighed against his neck.
Feeling his warm chest under her hand she slipped a finger between two buttons touching his bare skin. She chuckled when he moaned softly and her fingers stilled.
"No, don't stop," he whispered against her hair.
Braver now, Mary worked the buttons open on his pajamas. When the last button opened she placed her palm against his chest. She brushed her lips against his neck and then lower. He rolled her over until she was on top of him, her nightgown trapped between them. She kept caressing his chest and planting kisses on his warm skin. Her head shot up when he squeezed her buttocks and pulled her against him. She could feel him against her thigh. Her eyes widened at the realization that she had caused this reaction in him. She eased off him and his hands slipped off her body.
Matthew sat up and removed his shirt and then slipped out of his pants, keeping his lower body covered with the sheet. Turning back to her he put his hand on her hip. Holding her gently against him he kissed her as he slowly pushed the nightgown up over her hips. When he could not go any further he pulled away and smiled at her.
"May I help you out of this?"
Mary silently nodded and sat up. She raised her arms and he slipped the silky garment off of her. Dropping it behind him, he gazed at her.
"You are so very, very beautiful," he said amazed.
Mary blushed and eased down on the bed again. She reached for the sheet, but he stopped her hand. She looked at him and almost lost herself in his eyes. They were so incredibly blue. He caressed her cheek and kissed her.
"Please don't hide your body from me, not now, not ever," he whispered against her lips.
She sighed and grabbed his shoulders as he pulled her close. She could feel his warm body adjust itself to hers. She tensed when she felt his manhood against her stomach, but when he did not move she relaxed again.
Matthew could not believe how perfect she was. Her skin was soft as silk and she looked like the most delicate alabaster figurine. He wanted to touch her everywhere, discover every inch of her body. Afraid that he would frighten her, he kept his touch light, watching for her reaction. She seemed to enjoy his hand on her. He cupped her breast again and rubbed his thumb over the nipple. Her breasts were perfect. Pale and firm with little pink tips. He bent his head and kissed the now pointy nipple. She gasped and he smiled as he closed his lips around it, sucking gently.
Mary ran her fingers through his hair, trembling under him. His lips and tongue felt incredibly good and she held him against her, silently communicating her wish for him not to stop. She whimpered a soft protest when he let go of the nipple but sighed happily when his lips closed around the other one. She shivered when she felt his fingertips skim over her side, touching a particularly sensitive spot. When he rested his hand on her mound, playing with the hair covering her, she trembled in anticipation.
"It's all right, darling," he mumbled and kissed the side of her breast.
She sighed and took a deep breath. She trembled more when he gently pressed against her thigh, making her open her legs. Her eyes closed and she whimpered when she felt his fingers against her most intimate place. She knew her face must be red, she felt the flush spread down her neck.
"Dear God!" she gasped when he ran a finger along her folds. It was just as delicious as she remembered. Even more so because it was him, it was Matthew.
Matthew moaned against her breast as his finger sank between her hot, moist folds. He stroked her very gently. She was wet already which he found extremely arousing. Moving his hand higher he circled her little spot and she made the most delightful little sound. Desperate to hear her make it again he circled the clitoris a little faster and firmer. She whimpered and mewled again.
"Oh my beautiful darling, you are exquisite," he whispered and kissed her.
Mary wrapped her arms around him and opened her mouth, eager to taste him. His finger kept stroking and rubbing that little spot that felt so good. She pushed up against his hand and blushed at how her body reacted to his touch. She felt him move again and sighed in eager anticipation.
Matthew kissed her and slowly pushed his finger inside her. She was so warm and soft. He moaned softly as he pushed further.
Mary whimpered and winced at the sudden pain when his finger pushed against the hidden barrier inside her. He stilled his hand and their eyes met.
"Mary?" he said confused. "I thought…"
She glared at him and her cheeks flushed. "He did a great many things to me that night, but he promised me that I would still be a virgin for my husband."
Matthew gently removed his hand and wiped it on the sheet before touching her cheek. He caressed her and kissed her again.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She looked down. "A lady does not speak of such things with someone who is not her husband."
"Of course. Please forgive me."
Matthew stretched out and pulled her against him, caressing her back in soft comforting strokes. She relaxed and rested her head against his shoulder.
"Well, since I am your husband, can you tell me now?"
Mary was silent for a long moment before sighing heavily. He touched her chin, making her look at him. He smiled and nodded. She smiled weakly at him.
"He touched me," she whispered. "Just like you did with your finger. Well not the last part naturally."
"Naturally," he teased and caressed her cheek.
"Do you want me to tell you or do you prefer to mock me?" she said and glared at him.
Matthew laughed and kissed her. "I'm sorry, darling. Go on."
"He touched my breasts like you did, though I must say you are far better at it than he was. His touch was a bit too enthusiastic I'm afraid."
"I can hardly blame him," Matthew said and smiled. "Your breasts are very pretty and impossible not to fall in love with."
She giggled and gently swatted him on the chest. "You are incorrigible."
"Did he do anything else?" he pushed.
She nodded. "He…"
"Yes." He ran his finger over her soft cheek.
"He made me touch him," she whispered.
"How?"
"He put my hand on him and made me move it up and down. And he…" she shook her head.
"He what?"
"He wanted me to put it in my mouth," she whispered and looked away, unable to look him in the eyes.
He stroked her hair and kissed her dark head. Gently touching her chin he made her look at him again.
"Darling, it is not something terrible, but it is something that you must be willing to give. I will never ask you to do that, if you do not wish to."
"It sounded dreadful," she said and shivered.
"I can only say that it feels very good." She gave him a sharp look and he shrugged. "I did not want to be a complete novice with my wife," was his only explanation. She nodded in understanding.
"I just could not do it with him. He did not force me, but instead…"
"What?"
"He first touched me with his hand."
"Like I did."
She nodded. "Then with his mouth," her voice was barely a whisper. "And I think that he licked me."
"Oh my sweet darling, he probably did. Did you enjoy it?"
She nodded. "There is one spot down there that is so incredibly sensitive. When he used his tongue on it, at least I think it was his tongue, I thought I was going to die. It was so intense, but in a good way, a very good way."
Matthew was glad that this man who had taken such liberties with the woman he loved had at least treated her well. He ran his fingers through her hair. To his surprise she continued.
"He then moved on top of me. I was so afraid that he would not honor his word."
"But he did."
She nodded. "He put his manhood against me and made me close my legs around it and then he moved up and down, rubbing against me. It was not as pleasurable as before, but still enjoyable. And then he… was just gone," she whispered.
Matthew pulled her close. "I promise I will not die. If I survived the war I can almost guarantee you that I will not perish on my wedding night."
She laughed and sobbed as she nodded. "Thank you."
He took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "I would very much like it if you would touch me."
She looked into his honest blue eyes, filled with so much love for her. This was the man she loved, the one she wanted to make happy. She nodded and smiled at him. Together they moved their hands until she felt him against her fingertips. She laughed a little nervously when his manhood twitched as she touched it. He smiled and stroked her fingers over him and then wrapped her hand around him.
"It is so soft. Firm, yet soft," she whispered and moved her hand steadily over him.
Matthew smiled at her and reached for her again, gently stroking between her legs. He kissed her as they kept touching each other. He could feel himself getting harder from her gentle touch and slowly pulled away.
"Darling, I would like to kiss your pretty quim. What do you say?"
She blushed and nodded. "I think I would like that very much."
He grinned and kissed her before nuzzling her breasts and slowly working his way down her body towards her womanhood. She trembled in anticipation, remembering how incredible it had felt when Kemal had done this to her. This was the main reason why she had never been able to blame him entirely. She had definitely enjoyed this.
"Oh Mary," he said and kissed her soft folds. "You are truly a work of art."
She giggled and gasped when his lips brushed over her. She tangled her fingers in his hair. Her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed happily when the tip of his tongue stroked along her folds.
"Oh Matthew," she moaned softly.
Matthew tried to be as gentle as he possibly could, holding her open as he kissed and licked her. He circled his tongue around her clitoris and she whimpered and bucked up against him. He smiled and kept doing it for a while longer before stroking the length of her again. He dipped inside her a little and flicked his tongue, tickling her entrance. She whimpered again and her thighs tightened a little around him. She tasted incredible and he wished that he could sample it all, but he knew that he needed to make her as wet as possible for it to be easy to enter her. He rubbed his finger against the side of her clitoris, squeezing it very gently while flicking his tongue over it. She whimpered and thrashed, clearly enjoying his touch. He pulled away and wiped his face before taking her in his arms.
"Shall we try this?" he asked with a smile.
She nodded, still gasping a little from the intensity of his touch.
.
.
He kept stroking her as he gently pushed against her. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold back and enter her slowly, but the feel of her hot, wet folds made it so incredibly hard. She whimpered as he started to enter her and he held still again. She seemed to relax a little and he smiled at her. Her eyes were unreadable as she yet again had put up the mask of bravery. He so wished that she did not feel the need to. He circled her clitoris with a finger in a teasing dance and she moaned, enjoying the loving touch. He swallowed and grabbed her hip as he pushed forward.
Mary was torn between fear and pleasure. His hand on her felt so good, almost too good. Then she felt his manhood press against her opening and she tensed in fear of pain. To her relief he held still and kept stroking her. She felt her body relax and he moved again. Suddenly it did not feel good anymore. The pressure increased and she tossed her head to the side. A whimper escaped as she gripped his arm.
"I love you," he whispered and lowered himself.
She cried out and pushed against his chest as she felt something tear. She gasped for air, her eyes shut tight as she waited for the pain to go away. To her surprise, it did not.
Matthew sighed and held absolutely still above her. He could tell by the look on her face that he had hurt her and it pained him more than anything. He gently stroked her side and over her hip, trying to ease her discomfort.
"Darling," he whispered. "Mary, please look at me."
Her eyes opened and she looked at him. He could see tears in them and he smiled sadly at her. Brushing a lock of her hair that was clinging to her neck away, he caressed her cheek.
"Please try to relax," he said. "I can feel how tense you are and it only makes it more painful for you."
Mary nodded and swallowed. She had no idea how to accomplish his request. It still felt like he was ripping her apart. He kept caressing her side and hip and it felt good, comforting, but she was not able to relax fully. Afraid to move, she just remained still under him. He took her hand and kissed her fingers, then her palm. Had he not moved at that precise moment, the caring touch would have calmed her. Instead she tensed up again as he slipped further inside her. She bit her lip to prevent crying out.
"Please, Matthew," she whispered, her voice trembling.
Matthew was at a loss. He caressed her body and cupped her breast, gently stroking the nipple.
"I promise not to move," he said and smiled at her. "Just try to relax your legs and…" he blushed. She frowned, not understanding his request. "I can feel you gripping me, darling," he explained.
Mary looked away, her cheeks burning. He felt so big inside her. Focusing on where their bodies were joined she tentatively eased her hold on him. To her surprise, and relief, the pain eased. She looked at him and he smiled at her, his blue eyes so gentle.
"That's it."
Mary somehow managed to loosen her grip on him. She held his gaze as she learned how to control her body in a way it had never been used before. When she finally calmed, the pain was almost gone. He leaned down and kissed her as he sank deeper inside her. She whimpered again as the pain returned. He pulled away and wiped a stray tear from her soft cheek.
"My brave girl," he whispered and kissed her again.
Mary prayed for it to be over. Was it really supposed to hurt this much? She remembered the conversation she had had with her grandmother days prior. According to Granny, intimacy was a painful act that had to be endured. She had assumed that Granny had exaggerated, but now she was not so sure anymore.
"Please stop," she gasped and pressed her hand against his chest. She met his eyes. "Just for a moment."
"Of course," he said and kissed her.
Mary took a couple of deep breaths and closed her eyes. She could feel him much deeper inside her now. Could her body possibly accommodate more of him? She was intensely glad that she had not seen his manhood prior to this. It must be enormous. At least it felt like it was. Trying again to relax her body, she finally nodded to him and he slowly pushed deeper inside her. She whimpered as he stretched her further. Thank God that he was going slowly, she thought.
It pained him to see how uncomfortable she was. He tried to be gentle and ease into her slowly but it was still painful for her, he could tell. When he finally felt himself buried completely inside her he smiled and held still. Her dark eyes opened and they looked at each other. He slowly eased out of her and she whimpered softly when he moved closer again. After a few strokes he could tell that something changed for her because her body started to tremble and she was now sighing and gasping softly. Hooking her legs over his arms, he pushed into her again, a little faster and deeper than before. She whimpered and trembled under him.
Mary closed her eyes as she felt him pull out of her. Perhaps this was it? Perhaps he was done? Before he could slip out of her completely, she felt him push back inside. She whimpered as it still felt uncomfortable being stretched by his manhood. After a little while it started to feel different. She could feel a slight tingle inside, and whenever his body brushed against that sensitive spot that he had caressed earlier, she felt a jolt of pleasure go through her. She started to tremble and she felt warm, especially inside where they were connected.
Matthew moved faster, feeling himself nearing the brink. Mary's face and chest were flushed and she was breathing fast. Twisting a little he pressed his thumb against her clitoris as he moved faster in short, shallow strokes. She whimpered and trembled and then she tensed and cried out. He felt her squeeze him even tighter than before and he frantically pushed inside her again until he felt it. His eyes closed as he cried out his release, emitting inside her.
Mary gasped for air, her body trembling. He was still inside her, but she could feel him slide out of her and roll to the side. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, stroking her back.
"I love you," he whispered against her hair. He tilted her face up and kissed her. "I am so terribly sorry for hurting you, but at least that is over now."
She nodded silently, still feeling sore where he had entered her body. It felt sticky and she moved a little uncomfortably.
"Perhaps I should clean myself up?" she mumbled embarrassed.
He kissed her and caressed her cheek. "Don't bother my darling."
She nodded and watched him as he pulled away to turn off the lights. When she laid eyes on his manhood she gasped and covered her mouth. He froze, his hand in the air about to pull the cord on the bedside lamp.
"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. Realizing that she was staring at his still half erect penis he eased down on the bed again.
"You're…" she whispered. "From me?"
He nodded. "It is the normal thing that happens the first time a woman is intimate with a man."
"But…" She moved away and stared at the sheet. There were several stains on the pristine white sheet. She made a strangled sound and covered her mouth, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "I did not expect there to be so much."
He smiled sadly at her and took her hand. "I honestly don't know how much there should be. Are you in pain?"
She shook her head. "Just a little sore."
He opened the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out a clean handkerchief. Moving closer to her he gently pushed her legs apart and wiped her clean. He stared at the white fabric, now stained red and pink. He folded it and pressed it against her again. This time the stain was much smaller. He held it against her for a moment longer before putting it away on the nightstand. He pulled her close and covered their bodies with the warm duvet.
"Darling, there is nothing shameful about intimacy between husband and wife," he said and kissed her. "I want to learn about your body, what you enjoy and what makes it feel good. I also want you to feel comfortable looking at me, touching me."
"Oh Matthew," she said with a chuckle. "I fear none of that sounds proper."
"Mary, trust me, it will get much better. You will learn to enjoy this, and I will do everything I can to make that happen. This is not some horrible painful duty that you have to endure in order to fulfill your wifely obligations."
"Well you know me; I can certainly handle the most horrid thing."
"Was it really that horrid?" he asked sadly.
She cupped his cheek. He looked so lost she wanted to cry. She shook her head.
"Not really. At first it hurt quite a lot but towards the end it felt much better."
"As much as I want you my darling, I think that we should let your body rest and heal a little before attempting this again."
She nodded, relieved at the prospect of not having him inside her again. "Thank you, that is very considerate of you."
"Considerate?" he said slightly upset. "I love you and I care about you. I do not want to cause you any harm. Did you really think that I would force you against your will?"
"Of course not, but you are a man, and a man needs his wife in that manner."
"True, but not if she does not give it freely."
"So are you saying that if I do not wish to engage in this again, that you would not request it?" she said very softly.
He just stared at her. "Please darling, tell me that you are joking. Was it really that terrible?"
"Of course not. I was merely curious if you would."
"Mary, don't play games with me. Please, not about this."
"I'm sorry. It was a bad joke. Don't worry, dearest."
He kissed her brow and pulled her close. To his delight she put her arm around his waist and pressed closer against him.
.
.
Part III
Mr. & Mrs. Matthew Crawley
Mary woke the next morning to the feel of his arm around her and his warm body pressed against her back. She could tell by his even breathing that he was still asleep. She started to turn when she felt him stir. They looked at each other and he smiled at her.
"Good morning my darling," he said. "How do you feel?"
"Loved," she said and smiled.
He pulled her to him and kissed her on the neck. She giggled as his slight stubble tickled. He grinned sheepishly at her.
"Please excuse me for a moment."
She nodded and watched him leave. As soon as he was gone, she slipped out of bed herself.
.
.
"Milady," Anna said gently behind her as Mary was about to enter the bathroom.
"Yes Anna?"
"I prepared a bath for you this morning. I thought it might make you feel refreshed."
Mary smiled fondly at her and gently touched Anna's arm. "What would I ever do without you Anna?"
Anna smiled and nodded. She helped Mary out of her gown and held her hand as she stepped into the deep tub. She tightened her grip on Mary's hand as Mary lowered herself into the hot water.
"Go easy milady. The water might sting a little."
Mary blushed as she realized what Anna was referring to. She eased down into the hot water that smelled of roses and lavender from the Parisian bath oil her mother had given her for her last birthday.
"Thank you Anna," she mumbled.
Anna reached for the washcloth and started to wash Lady Mary's back and arms.
.
.
"Will you be taking breakfast in bed this morning milady?"
Mary turned and looked at Anna, about to ask her why on earth she would do that when she realized that she was in fact a married woman now and entitled to that indulgence. Contemplating the question for a moment she shook her head.
"No, I will be having breakfast with Mr. Crawley in the dining room."
"Very well milady. I thought as much. It is hard to be apart from your husband when it is all so new," she said and smiled.
Mary chuckled and gave Anna a mock glare. "Anna my dear, I am wondering if you are mocking me."
"I would never think of doing such a thing milady," Anna said and smiled innocently.
Mary shook her head and reached for her jewelry box. Selecting a necklace she knew Matthew liked, she handed it to Anna who slipped it around her neck. Finally dressed and her hair in perfect order, Lady Mary left her room and ventured downstairs.
.
.
Matthew looked up from his newspaper and smiled at her. Mary looked more beautiful than ever. He got up and kissed her cheek.
"You look lovely, darling."
"Thank you," she said and sat down across from him.
They talked quietly as they enjoyed their tea and breakfast. Mary sighed when she thought about their obligations for the day. They really should be heading up to the big house for lunch or at least dinner.
"I told your father yesterday that we would not be joining them for luncheon or dinner today. I hope that is all right with you?" he said and looked hesitantly at her. "If not, I am sure that they will be delighted to have us.
"Thank you," she said and closed her eyes. "I was just thinking that I really just wanted to spend the day with you."
Matthew beamed at her and took her hand. "Perhaps we can go for a walk?"
"That sounds lovely."
.
.
Mrs. Bird had prepared a picnic basket for them and with Mary on his arm and basket in the other Mathew had steered the two of them in the direction of the little lake on Downton's property. The day was warm with a clear blue sky and little fluffy clouds. Matthew smiled at Mary and she returned it fondly.
In the shade of a weeping willow he spread out the blanket and helped her down. They sat next to each other watching a swan swim across the little lake. He caressed her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. She wrapped her arm around his neck and he pulled her tightly against him. Gently as not to crush her he lowered her to the blanket.
"Matthew," she whispered as he kissed her neck.
"Yes darling?"
"What if someone comes?"
He looked up and glanced around. There was no sign of anyone around.
"I believe that we are quite alone here," he said and smiled at her, his eyes twinkling.
"How scandalous," she said with an exaggerated sigh.
"Only if someone sees us, and even so, we are married."
"I can hardly believe it," she said and grinned at him.
He caressed her cheek and brushed a few soft baby hairs away from it.
"How do you feel, my darling?"
She blushed and looked away. "Fine. I was a little sore this morning, but the bath made it all much better."
"That pleases me immensely."
She snuggled closer, resting her head on his shoulder, just enjoying the warm comfort of being close to him. When she felt his hand on her stomach she turned her head and their lips met in a soft kiss. She sighed when he stroked her breast through her blouse, then slipping it free from her skirt and moving her chemise out of the way so he could take her nipple in his mouth.
"Oh Matthew," she sighed.
Mary trembled when he pulled her skirt up and stroked her thighs, gently nudging them apart. When he slipped his hand inside her silk underwear she let out a little whimper. She could feel his fingers slide over her slick folds, not quite sure how her body had reacted so quickly to his touch, but feeling too good to really bother about the reason why. Mary gasped when his thumb stroked over her.
"My darling, will you allow me to taste you?"
She blushed and nodded silently. She watched him slip her underwear down her legs before pushing her skirt up and over her hips. The look on his face as he gazed down at her made her heart flutter. She pulled her knees up when he pushed on the inside of her thighs.
Matthew looked at her sex in awe. The pink folds reminded him of a rare rose covered in morning dew. Leaning down he placed the softest kiss on her clitoris. The little sound she made went straight to the core of him and he felt arousal flare up inside. Pushing it back he focused on her, listening to her sounds, attentive to her needs and passion. He looked up at her and almost stopped at the sight of her. Mary's eyes were closed and her lips separated. Her cheeks were flushed, indicating the state of her need. She gasped and gripped the blanket as he swept his tongue over her.
"Dear God," she whimpered.
Matthew tried different strokes, trying to figure out what she liked the most. It was easier in broad daylight when he could really see what he was doing. Closing his lips around the little spot he sucked it into his mouth, delighted when the action caused a faint cry from Mary. Her knuckles had turned white, so tight was her grip on the blanket. Her chest rose and fell fast as she gasped for air. He watched her face as he very slowly entered her. Her eyes opened and she looked straight at him as he slowly eased his finger inside her. God, she was so warm and soft. He moaned softly and she shivered. When she did not protest he stoked her a few times, rubbing against the top. Feeling her relax he eased two fingers inside her. She whimpered and trembled, but did not stop him. Eager to watch her passion peak he flicked his tongue faster over her while he kept rubbing her soft insides. When she, a moment later, let out a soft cry and tensed under him as wave after wave of passion rolled over her he felt like he was invincible. Eventually she touched his hair and went limp under him, now and then squeezing his fingers until he slipped them out of her.
Matthew wiped his face and hands on his handkerchief before taking her in his arms and kissing her softly. She grabbed him and held on tight, still gasping, trying to slow down her breathing. He caressed her cheek and her eyes fluttered open. He smiled at her and arched his eyebrow at the slight confusion he saw in her dark eyes.
"What dearest?" he asked.
"Do you not need to…" she blushed and fumbled nervously with his lapel.
"Do I want you? Of course I do, but I repeat what I said last night. We should wait and let your body heal."
She turned away and closed her eyes. Wondering about her off reaction, he gently turned her face towards him.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"I was sore this morning, but I feel fine now." She turned and smiled at him. "You are so kind to me. It pains me that we cannot share this fully. Perhaps we can at least try?"
"Are you certain, darling?" he said and caressed her cheek.
She grinned at him and sat up. With fingers that only faltered a little, she opened his trousers and with his help eased them down. She rested her hand on his thigh for a moment before pushing his underwear down as well, freeing his manhood. She let out a little gasp at the sight of his erect penis and he touched her cheek. He smiled at her, and she returned it. This was Matthew, the man she loved, her husband who loved her so much. She could do this; she told herself and moved her hand to wrap her fingers around him. She bit her lip when he groaned in pleasure.
"God, Mary!"
She tickled the underside with her fingertips, moving her hand and fingers over him, learning what he liked. He gritted his teeth, fighting the inevitable release. Falling back onto the blanket Matthew closed his eyes, just enjoying the feel of her gentle fingers on him. His eyes flew open when his manhood was suddenly surrounded by something warm and wet. He gasped when he saw his beautiful wife, the regal Lady Mary bent over him, her mouth on him. She froze and then pulled away.
"No, please," he whispered. "I would be delighted if you did not stop."
She blushed and nodded and again closed her lips around his aching manhood. When he felt her tongue stroking over the tip, he bucked under her and his eyes rolled back in his head.
"Good Lord!"
Mary had never been more nervous in her life than when she held his manhood in her hand, contemplating taking it in her mouth. She looked closely at him. He looked and smelled clean, not at all the way she had expected. The skin was so smooth and she really could not see any reason why she should not try this, especially not after what he had just done to her. She opened her mouth and slowly took him in her mouth.
Matthew sighed and moaned as she kept licking him all while moving her lips over him. She was kneeling next to him and he reached out for her, pushing his hand under her skirt until he could feel her soft bottom. She pulled off him as his fingers found her clitoris to let out a little squeak. He grinned.
"Please Mary," he whispered.
Trembling with pleasure from his touch she placed kisses along his shaft. He moaned and she kissed him again before taking the tip in her mouth. He tasted a little different now, but she did not find it unpleasant.
Matthew knew that he was getting close. Gently cupping her chin he pulled her away from him. He sat up and pulled her to him, kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him and their kissing intensified. Lowering her onto the blanket he pushed her skirt up before rolling on top of her. He hooked his arm under her leg as he settled in. Their eyes met and he could see a flicker of fear in hers.
"I will be gentle, my darling. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do."
"I know," she said and caressed his cheek.
Matthew slowly pushed inside her. She hissed and he stopped and waited. She relaxed faster this time, having learned how to control her body better. He eased in further and she gasped. To his delight she did not seem to be in pain. Unable to hold back any longer he eased in the rest of the way, burying himself entirely inside her. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing fast.
"Are you uncomfortable?" he asked concerned as she was still gripping his arms tightly.
"No," she said and her eyes fluttered open. "It is just so intense. I can feel you everywhere."
He smiled and eased out of her. Paying close attention to her face and sounds he moved slowly as they learned together. When her cheeks started to flush he moved faster, his strokes shallower. She was now gripping his waist, pulling him to her. He smiled and pushed inside her with new determination.
Mary could not believe how this could have hurt so badly last night and feel so incredible now. She could feel him filling her and stroking against hidden places inside her that made her tingle most pleasantly. She was still feeling the affect of his earlier touch and every time that he brushed over that special spot the tingling intensified until it was almost painful. She gasped and whimpered as she met him in this new dance. Her hips tilted up on their own accord as if her body knew instinctively what to do to enhance the experience.
Matthew felt hot and ready to burst as he moved on top of her. Watching her face, he was again overcome with love for her. Releasing her leg he slipped his hand between their bodies, leaning on his left hand. Not missing a beat he pressed his fingers against her. She cried out and he felt her clench around him. He mirrored her cry as he pushed into her faster. When she cried out and grabbed him tightly he closed his eyes and pushed deeper. His release swept over him and he groaned loudly in pleasure.
The last of his release drained from him, Matthew rolled to the side and onto his back with Mary on top of him. She was still gripping him firmly and he enjoyed the connection, knowing that it would not last much longer.
"Oh darling," he whispered and kissed her.
Mary smiled at him and twisted a little above him. Realizing that if she pushed down he was still firm enough to stay inside her she inched down his body and sat up. She laughed at the surprised look on his face. She moved her hips a little and he gasped, grabbing her waist.
"I do not think that you need to worry about me any longer, Matthew darling," she said with a teasing smile. "It was utterly delightful. A most pleasant experience I can assure you."
"Is that so?"
"Would I lie to you about my own pleasure?" she said and gave him a look.
Matthew laughed. "I guess not." He tightened his grip on her and gently pulled her towards him. As expected he slid out of her a little. Letting go of her, she eased down on him and he moaned. She arched an eyebrow in amusement. "I approve of your brilliant creativity, Lady Mary," he teased.
"I am most brilliant, am I not?" she said a little smugly.
He laughed, but then pulled her down for a kiss. Wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight he pushed his hips up; fully erect now, he entered her again and again. She gasped against his lips and pushed away from him. He stopped and looked at her for an explanation.
"I thought that perhaps this way you would not have to do all the work. That perhaps you would share the fun, allowing me to bring you to a rewarding spend," she purred. He laughed and nodded, delighted at her eagerness.
Rocking forward, allowing him to slip out of her a little she eased down on him again. She moved up and then down, trying out different angles. Her hands rested on his stomach, his on her thighs, stroking gently, encouraging her. Eventually they found their preferred angle and rhythm and she moved her hips, making him moan in pleasure. She sighed happily when he touched her, stroking over her in tandem with her moves. When they eventually reached climax it was less hurried and desperate than before. Now completely spent, she lowered herself onto his chest, basking in the feel of his arms around her.
.
.
Later when they strolled back home together there was a new light in their eyes. When they looked at each other they had to make an effort not to laugh with joy.
"We have a secret, darling," she said in a hushed voice.
"We certainly do."
"I will sit at my father's table tonight knowing that we shared this on his property."
"Well I am the future heir," Matthew teased. "I should be allowed to show the grounds to my wife, should I not?"
She laughed and nodded. "Yes, darling."
"Are you sure about dinner? I know that I promised you that we would not dine with them tonight."
"I think I want to. Perhaps I can show you the gallery?" she said and her eyes twinkled with mischief.
"Lady Mary!" he exclaimed in mock horror. "Are you suggesting that we engage in pleasures of the flesh under your father's roof? And in such a public setting?"
"Why not?" she said cheerfully and laughed at his flushed face. "Fear not Matthew. I will not bring down my father's fury on you by being inappropriate."
"That is good to know."
"I hold however less concern about embarrassing the servants."
"Mary!" He gaped at her, suddenly feeling warm again.
"Oh Matthew," she said softly and squeezed his arm. "I do love you, you know."
"I know," he said, now serious.
"Granny asked to see me about a week ago," she said softly.
"Oh? Regarding what?"
"My wifely duties," she said with a deep sigh. She looked up at him. "She told me that it was a chore to endure. That it was most unpleasant and painful."
"Dear God!" he gasped. "And you, of course, did not know otherwise. No wonder you were afraid last night."
"No. I could not fathom how you could possibly hurt me like that, so I did not quite believe her. However, last night was… uncomfortable at best," she said with a sad sigh.
"And now?"
"Matthew," she said and rolled her eyes. "Do you really have to ask?"
"I think I do. I need to be sure that I am treating you right."
"Very well. It was the most thrilling and pleasant experience I have ever had. I most definitely enjoyed it," she said and laughed at his wide grin. "Does that satisfy your curiosity Mr. Crawley?"
"I believe it does, though should you want to divulge specific details of the extent of this pleasant experience, I would not stop you."
"You are terrible," she said and gently swatted at his arm. "I am after all a lady and a lady does not speak of such things."
"Perhaps you will not always behave like a lady? Say for example in the privacy of our bedroom, when your devoted husband comes to you."
"I guess you will have to wait and see," she said mysteriously.
"God Mary, you are delightful. I am indeed the luckiest man alive."
"You are, and don't you forget it," she said and laughed.
He kissed her and they continued their walk.
The End of One Life & The Beginning of a Different One
…
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