The Joker meets Buddy

The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the hallway and Buddy the elf let out a small scream.

"I'll get it!" he cried, skipping down the hall.

He picked up the phone and pressed it against his ear. "Buddy the elf, what's your favourite colour?"

There was a pause before anyone answered. "Is this – ah – Cindy?"

"Nope, I'm Buddy. But that's not a colour. Come on. What's your favourite colour?" He bounced up and down on the balls of my feet, eagerly anticipating the answer.

"Well..." the man on the phone answered slowly, his voice rising slightly. "I'm quite attached to the colour purple. Green's not too bad either. Or maybe red. Mmm yeah, I like red. The colour of blood."

"And Candy canes!" Buddy shouted back eagerly, clapping his hands together.. "And Santa! And a reindeers nose! Oh, oh, oh and-"

He cut him off before he continued. "You're an – uh - elf you say."

"Buddy the elf."

"Right. Well... Buddy. I need to talk to Cindy. Don't suppose you know her?"

"No. Who are you?"

"The Joker," the man said hesitantly. "But all I want to know is do you know Cindy?"

"Oh – oh – oh. Tell a joke."

"I'm not that kind of-"

"Okay, I've got one. Why does Santa have three gardens?"

"So he can bury all of the little rotting corpses of his elves?"

"Nope. So he can hoe, hoe, hoe." Buddy chuckled. "Get it? D'ya get it?"

The Joker sighed irritably. "You know, I really don't care. I just want to know if you know Cindy."

"No. I know lots of people. I know Jovie and Papa Elf and my Dad and Emily and Santa-"

"Santa's not real you know."

Buddy gasped. "No! Don't be silly. Who do you think gives out all the presents and eats all the Christmas cookies?"

"Oh, I don't know... the parents." The man sounded angry.

Buddy tutted. "Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol."

"How old are you exactly?" the man asked angrily.

"You tell me first."

"No, why don't-"

"Tell me."

"I don't want-"

"Tell me!" he shouted gleefully, jumping up in the air.

"No!" The man roared down the phone.

Buddy flinched at the man's loud tone. "No need to be mean," he pouted.

The man sighed. "I don't suppose you'll know anyone who knows Cindy. Someone who isn't so annoying."

"Cindy? Let me think... who'd know Cindy." He pressed his fingers to a forehead. "C – c– c – cindy – ciiiindy – cindy mindy bindy... Hmm. Cindy..."

"Oh for gods sake!" the man roared again. "I swear to God when I find you I am going to grab your face, get my largest knife, force open your mouth, stick my knife inside and cut-"

"Oh my sweet santa!"

"What?"

"I've just seen the most amazing thing ever. Holy nutcracker this is amazing!"

"What? What! For god's sake what!"

"There's a big black monster on my windowsill."

"Monster."

"Yes, it's big and black and fluffy and it's got a tail and these white things sticking out of its face-"

"A cat."

"Come again."

"A cat."

"Acat?"

"No . A cat."

"A cat?"

"Yes a cat."

"Come again."

"Oh for gods sake! That's it, I'm hanging up."

"Wait! I'll sing a song. Come on, don't leave me. I'm siiinging a song – for the man on the phone – so he doesn't hang up – la la laaa – the caaat is left my windowsill – do do doo – he could be my friend – but not the cat – I'm talking about the maaan – on the phone – the reaaaally nice man – la la la..."

"Hello?" he called down the phone after he'd stopped singing. "If you give me your address I'll send you a card and some Christmas cookies...

A click sounded and suddenly Buddy couldn't hear anyone on the other line.

"...Joker?"

A/N: I watched 'Elf' a few days ago and it's my favourite Christmas film so I thought it would be funny for Buddy to meet the Joker. Hopefully you'll find it amusing :)