A/N: So I took a little break from my story to write this little sausage-wiener. Might write more chapters if this is well received. Enjoy.

The Badlands, 1969. Interview with the RED Spy (real name unknown) and the RED Sniper (Mr. Mundy, first name unknown) Begin Recording.

INTERVIEWER (I): So, you gentlemen are mercenaries, under the employ of a… Redmond Mann, is that correct?

SPY: Yes.

SNIPER: Yeah, that's right.

I: So, we're here to clear up the rumors that have been floating about. Through a documentary video game, you two have become immensely popular, along with you colleagues. Based on certain… speculations, some people have assumed that the two of you are, well… homosexual.

SNIPER: Wot.

SPY: Wot.

I: These are just rumors, of course, that's why we're here, to confirm or deny whether—

SNIPER: All right mate, you listen up, and listen good. I ain't no prancin' poofta with a pole up 'is ass, mate, I'm a bleedin' red-blooded Australian man. I might not have a moustache or, or chest hair, but—

SPY: What my… colleague 'ere is trying to say is, we are not homosexual, whatever it may seem, we are not—

I: We have pictures.

SPY: Wot.

I: Pictures, like this one here. This was given to use by a young lady, who we won't name, for her safety.

SNIPER: You—you wot—I didn't—

SPY: Monsieur, this is a drawing.

SNIPER: Re-goddamn-diculous, mate.

SPY: Why did you think this was a photograph?

I: Well, it was a very good drawing.

SNIPER: It's no wonder all the news have gone to shot—strictly platonic, mate!

SPY: Strictly platonic.

I: Well, we do have additional—

BLU SCOUT (From the window): Don't listen to 'em! They're fuckin' fags!

SPY: SHUT UP, BOY! I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!

BLU SCOUT: YEAH!? WHY DON'T YOU PARLES VAN FANKOIS THAT TO MY FACE, FRANCY-PANTS!

SPY: THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD!

(The Spy exited the building, despite the interviewer's protests.)

SNIPER: Strictly platonic, mate, strictly platonic.

A/N: I think I enjoyed this a little too much. Someone in another story of mine is definitely getting called francy-pants in my other story. Maybe you should read it to find out whoooooo—totally not a lame attempt at getting more readers—oooo!

Anyway, thanks for reading!