A/N: So-this is an RP a friend and I did and it became really intense and depressing. So I decided to share this with you. I played the part of John Watson while she played Sherlock and Moriarty. Needless to say, this was most fun-however incredibly depressing and I found myself crying...AND I WAS WRITING THE DAMN THING!

So, yes-there is a BIG.../BIG/ tissue warning.

Do leave reviews-I will pass them on to her~ We love reviews.

Enjoy my dears~

Scarlett

John Watson: *I had watched Sherlock get ready for his case. Watched him grin wide as he told me all the details of what was going on.
He was ecstatic.
The chance of a serial killer always made Sherlock giddy.

I chuckled and shook my head when he asked me along once more. I had the morning shift and needed to sleep for the night.
I knew he'd most likely come home late and stay up all night working over details of said case. I would leave the bedroom door opened.

I watched that long coat and that blue scarf leave. Those dark curls and those wondrous blue eyes step down the front steps and hail a cab.
A last glance.

Had I know what was in store for that departing figure-I would have never let him leave the room.

But I didn't know.

Not until 28 hours later-when no one had heard from him.

I picked up the mail and found an unmarked envelope on the stair. I turned it over and opened it, seeing a small dvd inside. I turned it around, saw the words "Watch" on it and frowned a little.
Making my way upstairs, I set the mail aside and inserted the dvd into my laptop.

I was unprepared for the gruesome scene I was about to witness.*

Sherlock Holmes/ Jim Moriarty: "Hello? Is this thing on?"

There was a black screen, then suddenly Jim Moriarty's smiling face appeared too close to the camera so his nostrils could be seen flaring.

"Ah! Hello John! Been a while hasn't it? Last time you saw me was at court. then of course we had my suicide and Sherlock's tragic end. /booorrrrrriiinnnnnng/!"

Jim threw his hands up, moving away from the camera, grinning wide.

"Well. You already know Sherly is alive and all so-surprise!"

He laughed again, grinning wide.

"Wait, want an even better surprise?"

Jim smirked and jumped out of the way; the camera zoomed in ona figure tied to a chair, head hung. Jim moved over to the man and grabbed the black curls, jerking his head back to expose Sherlock's bruised and bloodied face.

"Lookie who I caught in my trap~"

John Watson: *I felt my heart plummet when I saw Moriarty's face fill the screen. Something cold knotted in my stomach as I listened to him prattle on about his suicide and such.

When I saw that grin spread even wider and he mentioned another surprise, I grit my teeth.

Moriarty moved out of the frame and the camera zoomed in on a figure bound to a chair. When his head was tipped back, my mouth fell open in utter horror.*

...no...

*I could see the blood and bruises that littered Sherlock's face. My left hand gripped so hard on the arm rest, my nails dug into fabric as my heart tightened and clenched.*

Sherlock Holmes/ Jim Moriarty: "Sorry. He seems to be unconscious at the moment. Lemmie fix that."

Jim said as he moved away from Sherlock, and away from the camera's view, only to come back holding a meat hook attached to a chain on the ceiling.

"Time to wake up, Sherly!"

He said as he stabbed the hook into Sherlock's left shoulder; the man's blue eyes snapped open as a small scream tore from his throat. Jim laughed as he untied Sherlock's hands, then the detective was suddenly pulled up into the air, almost five feet into the air, legs thrashing around wildly in an attempt to touch the ground. Staying Alive suddenly began to play as Jim pushed Sherlock around, making him rock and flail wildly all while holding into the chain and hook and screaming in agony.

John Watson: *I watched as Moriarty vanished from view, only to feel my stomach twist as he walked back into view...with a mean hook attached to a chair.*

Oh god...please...don't...

*I whispered, begged-knowing this had already been recorded-knowing this had already happened.

When the hook was rammed into Sherlock's shoulder, I cringed, bit my lip and looked away, eyes shut as I listened to Sherlock scream in anguish.
I dared look back and watched as he was suddenly ripped from the chair and hefted into the air.
I could hear the music in the background, but it didn't drown out Sherlock's cries of utter pain. He kicked out while his hands gripped at the chain...and I felt sick to my stomach.

The urge to slam my laptop shut was almost overwhelming-but I needed to see the end result...needed to know if he survived.
Then-then I would look for ways to find him and save him.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Jim stopped pushing Sherlock for a moment, letting the man just flail.

"John-"

Sherlock gasped, grabbing the chain tighter. Jim gasped in mock shock as he looked back at the camera.

"Say hello John!"

He took the camera from who ever it was who was filming and held it up to Sherlock, so John could see the damage-black eye, split lip, head wound. He was bleeding from a broken nose, from his fractured jaw. The camera was pulled back as he handed it back to the man recording it.

"Time for the main event hm?"

Jim curled his lips into a smirk as he grabbed a long knife in his hand.

"You have four test. Each one will reveal some letters to the address where we are. Fail and Sherly here will suffer the consequences. Kinda like this."

Jim said as he thrusted the knife into the man's thigh, another scream drowned out the music.

John Watson *I heard my name roll off Sherlock's lips and I gripped at my laptop, biting back those tears that threatened to spill.

Moriarty called my name and moved the camera closer so I could see the damage-but as a doctor I already knew...
I shut my eyes to the sight, shaking my head and fighting back the urge to retch. I swallowed the bitter bile and opened my eyes as Moriarty spoke once more.

I trembled when I saw Moriarty draw a long knife, listening to him speak and tell me I had four tests. And that if I failed, Sherlock would suffer.

And I cringed against the scream that drowned the music once more.*

...okay...okay...

*I knew he had bugged the place-it would be the only way for him to listen and watch and wait.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Perfect."

Jim hummed softly, pulling the knife out and running his tongue across the blade, licking up Sherlock's red blood.

"Your frist test is waiting for you on the roof of our dear hospital. See you soon, John~"

And with that, the video feed was cut.

John Watson: *I shuddered when the blade was ripped from Sherlock's thigh, watching him lap at the crimson stain.

The second the feed cut out, I was running, grabbing my gun and sprinting for the door, ignoring Mrs. Hudson's startled cry.
Once outside, I hailed a cab, told him where to go and within ten minutes, I was there.

I raced up the flight of stairs, the pang of my leg nearly causing me to falter, but I pushed past it and stood on the roof.*

Alright, Moriarty...I'm here. Now what?

*I knew Moriarty had birds nearby and I stood on the ledge, looking down and taking a hard swallow.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: On the roof there was a phone on the ledge, with a note saying "SAVE ME. -SH" written in Jim's handwriting.

John Watson: *I saw the phone and the note and I quickly grabbed both, looking down at the note and holding the phone in my hand-waiting to see if it rang...or if I needed to call.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: When John picked it up the phone lit up with a message.

John Watson: *I felt the phone vibrate and I looked down to see that there was a message.
With trembling fingers, I moved my thumb to the "open" button to read what the message told me to do.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty:"Jim Moriarty sat on a wall.
Sherlock Holmes had a great fall.
All Mycroft's horses
And all of Lestrad's men
couldn't put John Watson
back together again"

After that small poem a picture of an egg painted on a wall by an alley was shown.

"You have ten minutes to find the golden egg and prevent his fall. Tick tock doctor."

John Watson: *My heart fell at the poem, seeing the small picture of an egg on a wall in some alley.
When told I had ten minutes...I raced back down the flight of stairs, standing out int he street soon and looking back to the picture.

My breath ran fast, my heart hammered so hard, I felt it would erupt from my chest. I quickly glanced around, then turned and looked up. Fall. And Wall.

It had to be here somewhere-but with so many alleys-I had to be careful.*

Think, John-THINK!

*I turned in a complete circle before something caught my eye.
Government Drive.

And there was an alley that met up with it.

I ran as fast as I could-hoping to god I was right...and that Sherlock wouldn't have to suffer.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: At the far end of the alley was the painting of an egg, and Sherlock's scarf swaying in the wind.

John Watson: *I saw the egg and a little bit of tension released.
When I saw the scarf, I grabbed hold and wrapped it around my neck, tying it tight so it wold budge and I stood.
Waiting for my next directions.
My fingers gripping at the phone all the while.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A second later another message was received.

John Watson: *The vibration and I quickly snapped the phone up, thumb gliding over the "open" button to read the message, heart still hammering in my chest.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "S_ _d
M_"

John Watson: *I read the message and chewed on my bottom lip, turning in a circle as I started to pace. The first and the last word were easy enough...but a four letter word that ended in "D"*

Dead, said, head, lead...

*I continued on, still pacing as I gripped Sherlock's scarf, feeling as though it may give me a little comfort and a sense of his presence nearby-though I normally wasn't one to believe in such things.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A second later another message came in-a video.

John Watson: *I hesitated in opening the video-knowing it would be of Moriarty and Sherlock.

My thumb hovered over the button for a second before I pressed the open button once more.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Cooonnngratttullllaaattiooonnnss"

Jim sung as he grinned into the camera.

"Creative isn't it? simple enough, but now you get the hang of the game. Now its where it really starts."

He pointed the camera at Sherlock who was still hanging from the hook, pale as death and panting heavily.

"As a reward I won't hurt him. But hurry. I can't promise what others will do."

He grinned wide. The video cutting.

John Watson: *I cringed when I heard Moriarty's voice over the the phone, watching his grin as he spoke.
I listened to him before he turned the camera to face Sherlock, who was still hanging from the hook-paler and breathing heavily.

My stomach knotted and I refused to retch again, listening to Moriarty tell me that he wouldn't harm Sherlock this time-but that I didn't have much time to figure this one out-and that the "others" might not be to keen on holding back.

The video cut and I gripped the scarf tighter, looking up, then walking forward and stepping around, trying to figure out this clue now.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Right when the video cut, a new message appeared in the screen.

"Anderson is dim
Donovan is too
But even he can't deny
That his division is you."

A picture of a pink phone appeared.

"Can you crack the code? Who is it from and to who is it meant for?
You got half an hour or Sherlock loses a finger. (: "

John Watson:*I saw the message and the pink phone and I struggled for an answer.
It had to do with the case Sherlock had about the pink suitcase and the pink lady.

When there was another response, my stomach flipped when the possibility of Sherlock losing a finger weighed down on my shoulders.

I scrambled for an answer-and only could come up with Scotland Yard. The last word stumped me and my breath ran fast-knowing my time was limited.

I sent a quick text with what I had and prayed that Moriarty would come to some-equal ground...though the though of causing Sherlock more harm had me leaning on the brick wall, hand over my mouth as I struggled not to lose my lunch.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Very good! Very good! You're brighter than Sherlock gives you credit for! But you don't make the rules! I doooo! So now since you broke the game, Sherlock pays! "

John Watson: *I shuddered at the voice and shut my eyes, holding the phone tight, listening for the sound I knew would follow.
That sickening sound that would leave me shaken.

I didn't want to listen-but knew I had to if I wanted to get him out alive.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A second later Sherlock's agonizing scream filled the air.

"Should've listened, John. Tsk. Tsk. I'm very disappointed in you. Now-can someone shut him up?!"

Jim snapped, and Sherlock's cry was soon muffled.

"Thank you! Now, as I was saying. Go to the pub down the street, ask for Fransis. And get him alone in a room. When you've done that. Kill him."

John Watson: *I couldn't help myself-not this time.
At Sherlock's scream, I retched in the alley, losing my lunch from earlier.

And seconds later, Sherlock's scream was muffled.
Sweat ran down the side of my face and down the back of my neck. My hand covered my mouth as I struggled not to weep. Not yet. I needed to stay on track-needed to...

My eyes snapped wide and my hand fell from my mouth as I was told my next task.
I had to.../kill/ someone.
An innocent person?

I sunk against the wall, fell to my knees and trembled.
There was no way I could do that-I was doctor. I took a vow-do no harm.

I gripped the phone and stood to my feet, heading down the street to the pub I was told to go to. I sat at the booth and was met with a kind, young man. A wedding ring on his finger. Married.
He had a family.

I saw the name on his name tag and whitened.
Fransis.

I gulped and looked away.*

Fransis-one, quick question...do you have any kids?
My wife is pregnant with our first-how did you...?
Just a hunch.

*I pushed myself from the bar and stepped outside, hand going to cover my eyes with a shaky breath.
I couldn't...I couldn't...

I couldn't be the one to take him from his family...

I trembled and shook my head, stepping away from the bar and across the street.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: The phone began to ring as John walked away from the bar.

John Watson: *I felt the phone ring and I took a shallow breath, reaching into my pocket and digging for it, lifting it to me ear after answering it.*

...I know...

*I answered, another short breath.

Sherlock meant the world to me-but I couldn't kill anyone...not again...*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Tsk. Tsk. Very well."

Jim let out another deep sigh as he glanced at Sherlock.

"Boys! Go have some fun!"

A moment later Sherlock was screaming "no!" And "stop!" Begging them to get away from him-screaming.

"Mm. Such wonderous music no? Ready for your final task doctor?"

John Watson: *I fell to the sidewalk against a building, sitting down and dropping my head, my hand falling to the ground as Sherlock's screams echoed over the line.
Screaming-/begging/ them to stop...and I had been the cause.

This was his game, Moriarty. This was what he did best.

When asked for my final task, I liked my lips and swallowed hard.*

Yes.

*I answered, sounding much more confident than I really was.
I had to find Sherlock-I had no room for failure, not now. Not after failing two tests already.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Great, now listen carefully."

He hummed as his voice was all but drowned out.

"I've heard It said
That happiness comes in pairs
So take off that coat and your
Bloodt scarf
And I'll take you on the stairs."

Jim paused before laughing.

"You got half an hour to find the next clue."

then the line clicked.

John Watson: *I heard the little poem and I listened hard, hearing Moriarty laugh and tell me I had half an hour to find the next clue.

The line clicked and I slowly pushed myself to my feet, heaving a long sigh and looking around.
I spoke out loud to myself, repeating the poem.*

I've heard it said
That happiness comes in pairs
So take off that coat and
Your bloody scarf
And I'll take you on the stairs...

*Another breath and I scooped my fingers across my scalp, trying to figure out what it meant.*

Stairs? Bloody scarf? Coat...? Pairs...what comes in pairs?

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A moment after the call was made, a text was sent.

" here is your next clue:

Two-by-two, hands of blue
One more thing that is due
Something of value must be lost
One last thing and here's the cost
Two-by-two, hands of blue."

John Watson: *The phone vibrated once more and I read the text, frowning down at it.

I walked for a while, trying to figure out what was blue and came in pairs-what sacrifice was needed?

I kept walking, stopping in front of St. Bart's hospital and I looked up...and suddenly felt my heart sink.

Blue and pairs, value?
Stopping at the hospital-it all made sense.*

...something of value must be lost...in order to gain something of value in return...

*Surgical gloves came in blue-and hands came in pairs...

I felt sick to my stomach, leaning on the wall and breathing in shallow gasps.
In order to save Sherlock-I had to give up the one other thing that meant a great deal to me. Being able to save lives...

I sunk to sit once more and held out my phone, hands trembling as I struggled to send the text.*

The thing of value that must be lost...is my hand. I have to lose my hand...

*I hit the send button and braced my palm to my forehead, another shaky breath escaping my lips.

I would do it-for Sherlock. I would give anything for Sherlock...*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A second later:

"Ten minutes"

John Watson: *I looked down to the text, cringing as I saw what it read.
I needed to find a way to remove my hand in ten minutes.

I looked up to the hospital and shuddered, pushing myself up to my feet and trudging my way in.*

Doctor~ Welcome back, it's not your shift yet.
No, Ashley-just came by to grab a few minor things.
Of course, of course.

*I saw her smile as she dropped her eyes back to the ringing phone. I made my way up the stairs and up to the third level, looking down the halls for an empty surgery room.
With only ten minutes-painkillers and a numbing agent would have to be passed-it was going to take that long for them to kick in.

Instead, I was going to have to tie my arm down and saw through the bones.

Grabbing the sterile bone saw and lots of gauze and pads-knowing the stitches would have to be done after, I stuffed a rag into my mouth to muffle the screams I knew would follow.

I strapped my left hand down to a small bed with cuffs and tugged my sleeve up past my forearm. I pressed the blade down just past the wrist, drawing a little line of blood to mark the area before biting down on the rag as I began to saw.

I screamed in absolute anguish, muffled by the rag as I sawed past skin and muscle, blood flowing freely and staining the rags just below.
Tears raced down my cheeks, but I continued even as I felt the saw bite into bone. I bit and howled into the rag, feeling that crack of the bone snapping free, sending blood spurting across the bed.
I nearly passed out due to the stomach churning pain, nearly vomited into the rag and slumped forward once done.

My right hand trembled violently as I quickly wrapped my now left stump to prevent anymore blood loss, vision blurred before I fell over backwards, gasping and panting hard.
I almost blacked out again, rolling and retching up the last of breakfast, quivering violently as I gripped at my left arm.

I reached for the bed and dragged myself to my feet, quickly wrapping my severed hand up in blankets and hiding my left arm under my coat.
I was pale, trembling-but I managed to sneak out of the hospital without being seen by anyone I knew...thank god for the little things.

I nearly fell into the street and waited for the painkillers I injected myself with to take hold, stumbling against a wall and bracing my hand against said wall, shaky breaths being dragged into my lungs.

I pulled the phone out with my right hand and managed to send a small text.*

Done.

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "Scotland Yard.
Mortuary."

John Watson: *I looked down at the text and stuffed it back into my pocket, hailing a cab and telling him where to go.

The drive wasn't that long-but I could barely keep myself from passing out as it were.

I paid the cabbie and stepped out, pushing past the door and heading for the mortuary.

I stopped in the hall and glanced around, looking for a sign-still breathing heavily.*

Alright, Moriarty-I'm here...

*I gasped, leaning on the wall.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "John..."

The lights came on and Sherlock was laying on one of the slaps, inside a body bag.

John Watson: *His voice drew my attention and I looked down to lock eyes with Sherlock.
I was quickly at his side, gripping his hand with my only now.*

I'm here...I'm here...sorry it took me so long...but I'm here...

*I reached and touched his cheek before moving to call the medics-knowing he needed to be in a hospital. Knowing he needed medical attention and needed to be somewhere safe.*

We'll get you to a hospital, Sherlock-I will, don't worry...

*I grabbed my phone, pulling it out of my left pocket with my right hand, dialing Lestrad's number.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "You... You need one too..."

Came his weak responds, his pale eyes barely open.

Lestrad picked up the phone in the second ring.

"Lestrad."

John Watson: I do...don't I?

*I heard Lestrad's voice on the other end.*

Scotland Yard Mortuary...we need to get to the hospital...we're both in bad sorts...

*I sat down on the floor, letting the phone fall as I gripped at Sherlock's arm.*

He's on his way, Sherlock...just stay with me, okay?

*My own vision was going dark from blood-loss, but I bit my lip and knew I had to stay awake. Sherlock had been through far worse-I could deal.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock let his eyes flutter shut slowly.

"I'm sorry..."

Was the last thing he said before darkness took hold of him.

Lestrad heard John's voice, his eyes going wide for a moment before he was calling for an ambulance, rushing down to the mortuary.

John Watson: *I heard SHhrlock's apology seconds before his eyes fluttered shut. I gripped tight at his hand, trying to shake him awake, but only causing myself more harm.
I cringed and pressed my left arm to my chest, cupping at it with my right hand.

Running footsteps drew me from my bout of pain and I looked up, vision blurred, hearing voices calling my name.
I barely recognized Lestrad's voice, hearing him exclaim over the loss of my hand and the shape Sherlock was in.
I gripped at the hands that took hold.*

...save him...

*I manged before I collapsed myself.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: It wasn't long before the ambulance had arrived, taking both Sherlock and John to the hospital; each one was taken to a different room in the ICU. There was nothing they could do about John's hand-too much time had passed-but they disinfected it and cleaned it, repairing what they could.

Sherlock had to be placed in surgery and no news of him had yet to arrive.

John Watson: *I had lost track of time the second I passed out.

Could have been mere minutes-could have been hours, even days...I wasn't sure.
But I woke in a recovery room, an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth. I groaned and glanced around, watching as Lestrad stirred and looked up to me.*

...John. You're awake.

*I started to push myself up and nearly screamed in pain.
Obviously hadn't been that long if my hand...

I lifted my left arm to examine the stump.
Lestrad stood and gripped my good arm, looking down to me.*

They tried to replace your hand...but...

*He trailed off and I just nodded. I knew, too much time had passed since the loss of limb and I would be without a left hand for the rest of my life.

My eyes fell as my spirits grew heavy.
I would no longer be able to practice medicine. No longer able to save lives...

Sherlock!

I quickly snapped my eyes up to Lestrad and he shook his head.*

No word on him yet-he's still in surgery...JOHN!

I was pulling my mask off and ripping out the IV's to find Sherlock.
But I was grabbed before I could fall, still weak from blood loss.
Lestrad guided me back to the bed.*

You'll be the first to know-I will tell you when I know, I promise John. Rest. You both have been through hell.

*He patted my arm and moved outside. As he left, my eyes fell to my missing hand.

And I wept.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: It had taken almost 10 hours before the surgery had finally finished. A doctor walked out, covered in blood and sweat and looked exhausted. He made his way over to Lestrad, who had stayed the whole time, with Mrs. Hudson, and surprisingly enough Mycroft.

John Watson: *Lestrad looked up the second the doctor walked over to them, his eyes taking in the blood and the drawn look.
It had been nearly 18 hours since he had gotten the call.*

Doc...how is he?

*Lestrad asked as he stepped forward to the man, looking over his shoulder to my room.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: The doctor took in a deep breath, frowning.

"He made it, though I'm honestly surprised he even pulled through."

John Watson: *Lestrad nodded as the doctor spoke, turning to head into my room before he paused.*

He's going to be okay, right? A lot of down time and medical attention-but he'll be fine, right?

*Lestrad asked, wanting to know everything before he spoke a word to me.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: The doctor chewed on his lip for a moment.

"Look, we aren't sure. There's a lot of damage and we did the best we could but it's all up to him now."

John Watson: *Lestrad gave a long sigh, thanked the doctor and opened my door.

I looked up and quickly wiped my tears away.*

How is he?
He made it through-but these first two nights are going to be his toughest...if he makes it through, he'll be alright...it's-all on him now. I'm sorry I don't have better news...
No, no-this is good. Sherlock won't die-he's too stubborn to die...
John, how are...?
I don't want to talk about it. Not now.

*Lestrad let out a small sigh, but nodded and left the room. I saw Ms. Hudson's concerned look and the back of Mycroft's head.

I waited for an hour before I climbed out of bed once more. No Lestrad to stop me.

I knew where Sherlock would be-in an ICU room, and this hospital had only four on this floor. I would find him.

And as my little ray of luck, I opened the first door and saw Sherlock, whiter than fallen snow. Various wires and lines ran across his body. Stitches and wrapped wounds were visible. Cuts and bruises littered hi face and I dragged a chair quietly over to the bed, lacing my hand with his and resting my head on the bed, thumb stroking the top of his hand.*

I don't blame you...Sherlock-for anything. Had it been asked, my life would have been given. But Moriarty knows how to break me...I'm sorry I couldn't get there sooner-that you had to suffer so much. I'm so sorry...

*I turned my face into the sheets and wept silently, not leaving his side.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock had taken the cab down to the harbor, where the crime had happened-had walked around for a bit, looking for anything he had missed-though of course he never misses anything. That's when it happened. He got a phone call. Looking down at his phone, not knowing the number, he picked up.

"Hel-"

"Hey Sherly! I see you're still alive! Well guess whhaaat~? I am too!"

Sherlock froze, eyes going wide; he should've known though. He never once suspected this man to be dead.

"Jim."

"Ah! You remember me! I'm flattered! Now why don't you be a dear and turn around?"

Sherlock turned slowly, his eyes easily falling on the figure standing a couple yards back, grinning at him like a maniac. Jim Moriarty.

"Sorry we had to reunite like this~"

Sherlock was about to open his mouth when a hand came over his face, a cloth pressing against his mouth and nose. It took him a second but his eyes fell, phone falling onto the ground.

"No I'm not~~"

That had been his last conscious thought.

The next couple hours-or days because honestly Sherlock couldn't keep track-were hell. He was constantly drugged, unable to move much as they beat him, carved him, ripped him apart from the inside out. They left him hanging on the meat hook for hours until it almost ripped out his shoulder. Jim cut him up-thighs, stomach, shoulders. He even went as far as to write "PROPERTY OF JIM" across his upper back with a smiley face in the center.

And Sherlock could recall every minute of it. His eyelids flickered with the memories as he tried to sleep-for sleep was one thing he didn't have. The only time he rested was when he passed out-only to have Jim wake him up violently. His hands shook, sweat covering his pale battered body.

John Watson: *I felt Sherlock's hands tremble and I reached to stroke his head.

God only knew what he had gone through-the things done to him when I couldn't...*

I'm sorry...I'm sorry...this is my fault...

*I was no Sherlock. I wasn't a genus like him and he had to suffer when I couldn't comply to Moriarty's wishes.
I had tried to save him-but it was starting to look as though I had failed even that.*

...I'm sorry, Sherlock...I'm so sorry...

*I gently stroked those locks that pressed to his forehead due to the sweat that had built.

I could only repeat that I was sorry-and I could never ask for his forgiveness.
How could I?
He was suffering because I was weak.

Silent tears ran down my cheeks and I simply muttered my apologies-over and over and over again...hoping he could hear me...*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: A second later, Sherlock's eyes snapped open as he took in a deep breath; his eyes were wide, looking around everywhere as if to expect another round of abuse.

John Watson: Easy, easy! Sherlock, you're safe. You're in a hospital. Lestrad's outside...you're safe...

*I gripped at his hand, pushing myself from the chair so he could see it was me. That he was, in fact, safe-and not in Moriarty's hold.*

It's okay...it's okay...

*I tried to soothe, reaching to stroke his head softly, wanting those wide eyes on me.*

Just breathe slow...okay? You're fine...no one is going to hurt you...not here. Not anymore...

Sherlock/ Moriarty:When he heard John's voice, his eyes quickly snapped towards the man, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.

"John..?"

John Watson: *I saw his eyes snap to me and I smiled, nodding.*

I'm here...right here. Sorry it took so long...

*I gripped his hand in mine, squeezing just a little as he slowly eased his breaths, watching as he worked on calming down.*

I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm gonna stay right here. Lestrad and Mrs. Hudson and your brother are all here, just keep breathing slowly...

*I smiled down at him, glad those eyes were open now.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock gripped his hand tightly, smiling softly at the other, reaching with the other hand to touch his cheek.

"John... God.. You're a sight for sore eyes..."

He muttered, his hand falling down back on the bed as the heart monitor began to beep loudly-Sherlock's eyes rolled into the back of his head, lips parted as his grip on John went lip.

John Watson: *I saw that soft smile as he reached to touch my cheek, his voice incredibly soft.

I had opened my mouth to respond when that echo of one long, gut-wrenching note echoed in the room. I watched Sherlock's hand fall lax to the bed and I spun to look at the machine, sudden tears flooding my vision.*

...no...

*I moved back to Sherlock, my one hand gripping at his arm.*

No...no no! I got you here! I got you /out/ of there! Don't do this-not now! You're safe! Sherlock, god please-!

*There was a rush of motion, but I paid it little mind, blood-shot eyes focused solely on Sherlock's closed ones.
I didn't start screaming until I was moved from him. I grabbed at his hand with my right-my only hand, /begging/ him not to go as I was dragged from the room.

I screamed out his name, unable to control the flood of tears as I was carried from the room.

And I hit my knees in the hall, praying to a God I didn't believe in. My one hand fisted against my head as I wept, begging for Sherlock to be spared-and for my life to be taken in his place.

I didn't feel Lestrad's hand on my back, didn't hear Mrs. Hudson's voice...

...all I could hear...was the sound of Sherlock's last breath...and my heart breaking...*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: The doctors rushed in, trying to revive the genius-they spent almost five minutes on that until they shut off all the machines.

"Call it."

"Time of Death: 6:42 PM."

John Watson: *Lestrad's hand paused on my back and I knew...god I knew...

I buckled at the waist and wept into the floor, hearing Mrs. Hudson's choked sob, Lestrad's breath catch-and Mycoft's silent tears.

I stood, in a sudden fit of sorrow filled rage and screamed at the ceiling.*

YOU CHEATED DEATH ONCE! THIS IS HOW IT ENDS?! AT MORIARTY'S HAND?! DAMN YOU SHERLOCK...

*I fell back in a broken heap, my arm covering my eyes as I wept even harder.*

...damn you...for leaving me like this...

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Everything just seem to slowly down-the voices, the people. Everything. Except John. A man walked up towards him-almost see through, but not quite. He wore all black, except for a purple dress shirt and a blue scarf, a black coat flapping behind him as he kneeled down in front of John, cupping his face with cold hands.

"John..."

He said softly, his voice almost echoing.

"John."

John Watson:*I stayed where I was, not moving from my spot as everything stilled around the singular moment.

The absence of Sherlock Holmes.

Something soft touched my cheek and my eyes flicked up, feeling the bitter cold.

Add my heart stilled in mid-beat, eyes falling on a near translucent Sherlock.*

...Sher...lock...?

*I manged with hardly a whisper, those tears still falling, hand falling to my side.*

...why...?

*I begged, wanting to grip at his arm, reaching to hold on to him.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock frowned softly, pressing a small kiss on John's forehead.

"I'm sorry..."

He said softly, holding onto his face tightly, though the pressure seemed minimal.

"There is so much I wish to tell you before I leave, but I don't know how much time she'll give me."

He said softly, brushing his thumb across John's cheeks, wiping away those tears.

John Watson: I shook my head, shutting my eyes as his thumb brushed those tears away.*

...you're not gone...you're here...god...please don't leave...

*I begged, looking up to him with pleading eyes.*

...I can't lose you...

*I trembled, not believing that he was dead...not yet...*

...Sherlock...

*I kneaded my arm above my missing hand, those tears still in free-fall.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock watched him for a moment, then leaned down and pressed his lips against John's.

"I won't leave..."

He said softly, his body\ disappearing.

John Watson: *The touch to my lips was but a whisper of silk-the last touch from a departing lover-a solemn promise that was never kept.

I heard his voice, and watched-with blurring vision-as Sherlock vanished from my sight...like he never existed.

Those tears still fell as I sat in silence, reaching for where he once was-and finding only bitter air.

With a hard swallow, a choked sob and a short breath, I shut my eyes as I wrapped my arms around my frame.*

I'm sorry...god, I'm sorry...I couldn't save you...like before...I couldn't...

*I choked and wept even harder, feeling something familiar flutter around my shoulders.
Sherlock's scarf.
Lestrad had grabbed it for me.

I didn't hear him apologize to me...it hardly mattered. It was my fault for not saving Sherlock. And in my suffering, I would no replace my missing hand. I would accept as part of my burden-as my failure to save my friend-and my soul.

~Time skip: One Year Later.~

*I had fallen off the grid, left the flat and Mrs. Hudson and ceased all contact with anyone I knew. I couldn't afford to be seen or heard-not with what I was going to do.

Not with who I was hunting.

I had perfected my skills as a sharp-shooter with one hand. I had fallen back into training and was no longer that doctor.

And in falling off the grid, I got rid of my name-faked my own death to send him off my trail. To make him think I had committed suicide in Sherlock's name.
But this was a kamikaze trip, wasn't t?
I accepted that as well.

A year. It had taken me a year, but I found him.

Finally.

Moriarty.

The one who had taken everything from me.

And without the ability to practice-my vow to do no harm was shattered.*

Found you.

*I hissed from behind him, gun up.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock's death came to him as a surprise-but not unexpected. He was actually quite disappointed that Sherlock had passed, but then again, that had been his intention all along.

But what was Jim without Sherlock?

Another criminal that can't be caught.

The spider in a web of criminal activity.

But he was /bored/.

He was always bored without Sherlock.

Always!

But not anymore.

John was after him, that he knew. He wasn't stupid enough to think that John had really taken his own life-oh no. He was expecting John to take his little petty revenge. And now it's happening.

Jim couldn't help but smile as he felt he tip of the gun on his back, that hiss.

"Hello, John."

John Watson: A year, Moriarty. It took me a year to find you. And I'm not leaving here until your blood stains the floor.

*I hissed, pressing the muzzle of the gun against his head even harder.*

You took from my ability to save lives...and on that same day-you took the /one/ thing I would have been willing to die for. You should have killed me then, Jim. You'll pay the consequences with your life.

*I turned to stand in front of him, gun still trained on his skull.*

I would love nothing more than to make you suffer as you made him suffer. But I don't have that kind of time, do I?

*I grinned. Not an evil, crazy way. Just a simple grin-a grin I gave to most people I used to know.*

How long before your back-up arrives? Ten minutes-five minutes. Do you have another sniper on the roof?

*I shrugged my shoulders, uncaring anymore.*

I am going to kill you. Right here. Right now. Are you at terms with that?

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Jim grinned wide at the other, stepping forward so the muzzle was pressed tightly against his forehead.

"Then shoot. I've been waiting for this day for over a year now, good doctor."

He hummed, almost sung.

"But, my sniper will kill you right after. Then we could all see Sherly again!"

John Watson: *I watched as Moriarty stepped forward until his forehead pressed against my gun. I grinned even wider as he spoke, telling me to shoot and that his sniper would kill me shortly there after.*

I do hope he'll kill me. I would be disappointed if that didn't happen.

*I rested my finger around the trigger, smiling back at him.*

And I'll see Sherlock. You'll burn in hell.

*I squeezed the trigger, hearing the crack go off.

I turned towards the only window, pulling the scarf from the pocket of my coat and wrapped it around my neck.
I stood, stuffed my hands in my pocket and smiled.

Really smiled for the first time in a year.

And with a soft chuckle, I glanced up to the ceiling, that warm smile still plastered on my lips.*

...I'll see you soon...Sherlock...

*And with that, I shut my eyes, held my hands out and waited for that last crack.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: The sniper watched as Jim's body dropped to the floor, the back of his head missing. He turned his gaze on John, who now stood in front of the window and aimed right between his eyes-and squeezed the trigger.

John Watson: *I kept my arms out wide, hearing that crack of the rifle-then absolutely nothing.

I didn't know what to expect-didn't care.
All that mattered was Moriarty was dead-for real this time.*

~...~

*It had been all over the news once the bodies were found-and it spread like wildfire.
John Watson had been alive-but was found dead at the scene with Jim Moriarty-the man responsible for Sherlock Holmes' demise.

Lestrad refused to go into work for almost a month.
Mrs. Hudson sold the flat and moved out.
And no heard from Mycroft.

My body was buried next to Sherlock's-under the shade of an old oak tree. Whispers of the leaves rustled in the wind as many came to visit our graves.

Sometimes, it was said you could hear our laughter carrying in the wind-and if you looked /real/ hard-that blue scarf and the brown jumper were visible, walking through the crowd, as though it were just another day-and another case.-and nothing had ever happened at all.

Back before Moriarty.
Back when it was just Sherlock and I.

And with the brush of the wind and a wishful tear-the sight vanished.

It was said that I had met Sherlock in heaven-Mrs. Hudson firmly believed that.*

~...~

*I hadn't known what to expect-but it certainly wasn't this.
I, honestly, had expected nothing-and was pleasantly surprised to be proven wrong.
I had put off Sherlock's last visit in the hospital as grief and hopeful wishes.

I can see now that I really had seen him.

I reached and touched the soft cloud before looking around, wondering if anyone I had known was here. If there were people I knew from the military or...*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "John."

The detective walked down the small cloud like steps, his black coat flapping behind him-and large black angel like wings stretched out behind him. His pale features complemented the wings and his curly hair all but covered his eyes.

John Watson: *I heard that voice and didn't dare turn around.
Not yet.

I had this almost horrid feeling this was a dream.

But when I turned, I knew-by the sight I held before me-that this was real.

And I couldn't stop those tears.

I raced towards him, my own fawn colored wings stretched out behind me, ad wrapped my arms around his waist.*

I'm sorry...I'm sorry...

*I wept.
Sorry for what? I couldn't possibly put into words. Sorry for not saving him. Sorry it took me a year. Sorry I had let the sniper kill me.
I was just sorry.

I clung to his frame, my hands curled into his coat, avoiding his wings as I pressed my face into his chest.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock wrapped his arms around John, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"It's alright, John... It's alright. You have nothing to be sorry for."

He said as he cupped John's face with his hands, wiping away the tears slowly.

John Watson: *I felt his arms around my frame and I tucked my wings closer, feeling that kiss on my forehead.
I looked up as he spoke, telling me it was alright and I had nothing to be sorry for.

His hands cupped my cheeks and I tipped my head into his right hand, feeling him wipe the tears away. I brought both hands.../both/ hands up to wrap around his wrists and I turned my head to kiss his palm.*

So you're really here...and this isn't some horrible dream I'm having...?

*I looked back up to him, eyes rimming with tears, afraid this was some cruel trick and I would wake from this pleasant dream.

It wouldn't have been the first time.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock smiled softly and leaned down, pressing their lips together.

"No... It's not a dream."

He said softly, lips barley touching.

John Watson: *I saw that smile before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
He broke away to speak, his lips barely breaths from mine and I snaked my arms around his neck.
Happy.
Finally happy since before Sherlock had been murdered.

I kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his lips on mine.*

Now what?

*I asked as I broke the kiss.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock smiled a bit and held the other to him. He had missed this; had missed John. It had been agony watching him for the past year.

"Well, we could stand here all day or we can go home together."

John Watson: *I looked up as Sherlock mentioned home. I nodded and buried my face into his chest, just taking in the moment-though we now had forever together.

But this had been the first time since I had seen him-since that visit in the hospital. I wanted to treasure this moment for as long as I could.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: "John."

Sherlock said softly, pressing his lips to John's forehead again.

"I love you."

John Watson: *I let my eyes flutter shut as he spoke my name, feeling those lips of my forehead.
I heard his soft whisper and I just smiled.*

I know.

*I chuckled, looking up to him.*

I love you too.

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock smiled, kissing those lips again as he took a step back.

"Let's go."

John Watson: *After pressing a soft kiss to my lips, he stepped back. I reached and laced my left hand with his, eyes dropping to the joined pair, my smile spreading.*

Where you lead-I follow.

*I smiled up at him.*

Sherlock/ Moriarty: Sherlock smiled softly, bringing their hands up and pressing his lips to John's left hand. He smiled and lead John pass the bright golden gates.

John Watson: *I felt the soft kiss of Sherlock's lips on my new left hand and grinned, following Sherlock past those golden gates.
And to sanctuary.

Where Sherlock was free of his burdens and pain.
Where I was free of my sorrow and grief.

Where we could spend the rest of eternity watching those we loved carry on.

Three years after our death, Mrs. Hudson married the baker down the street. They lived on for another ten years before they met us up here.
Needless to say, it was a most joyful reunion.

Lestrad became the new Chief in Scotland Yard and racked up several more medals-and scars, before retiring.

Sherlock paid careful attention to Molly and only wished her what he couldn't give her.
She was engaged two years later and married, having two beautiful boys-who she named Sherlock and John.
We both got a good giggle out of that.

I found out what had happened to Mycroft.
He had dropped off the radar, same as I-and was working in the States, helping charities in Sherlock's name. The SherlockWatson project.
He helped children into school and funded their college education. He was making up for all the things he had ever done. And apologized every night for not saving either of us.
It was heart-wrenching to watch-but he gradually began to accept the fact that we forgave him. I never wanted to be saved-and I had been too late to save Sherlock.
And Mycroft even married and girl from California in the University he was teaching-a fellow teacher, actually.
Who would have thought?

All in all-those we loved moved on-and every once in a while, we would visit. Either in their dreams, on their death beds or when they were alone.
Just to show them we were happy, we forgave them for the mistakes they thought they made...

...and wished them nothing but the best in the world.*

~The End~