A/N: So recently I have had the worst case of writers block for my other stories ever. I was really starting to get depressed about it too...I felt like so many authors on here are consistent and their writing comes out so amazing, yet it takes me forever. So this thought caused me to go listen to Green Day (my favorite band since I was three!) because their music always cheers me up and their songs are incredibly relatable. And then the thought struck me! If I write a fanfiction based around Green Day's songs, I'll never have to worry about writers block because of how inspired I get from them. If I'm stuck all I have to do is listen to their music! And thus, this story for JR based on Green Day songs was created! :D
P.S. I have NOT given up on my other two stories, I just need some time to think...and write well. Heheh...aghhhh! x.x
Chapter One: Jesus of Suburbia
I'm the son of rage and love, the Jesus of Suburbia.
Exhaling the burning smoke of my cigarette, I stared at the green road sign I was approaching. Reality began to seep in. But I wasn't nervous. The liberating wind blowing through my silver hair reminded me why I was doing this. I couldn't go back, and I sure as hell never would.
The wheels of my car brought me closer and closer to the road sign, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Fuck the road. I was almost out. So close to being free from the suffocation I had been living in for eighteen years. Inhaling more nicotine, I let the warm smoke caress my lungs before once again letting the dark fog float out of the open roof of my car, being left behind in this hell hole with the rest of my problems. The feeling of rebellion coursed through my bones. The sign was getting closer, so close. Slamming my foot down on the gas I zoomed to surpass it.
"You Are Now Leaving Osaka, Visit Again Soon!" As if. I sourly laughed at the stupid request on the neon sign.
And then it was gone, the only thing in my view being the long winding road to nothing I knew of. The sides of my mouth slightly raised; a sadistic smirk. Smiling has never been an option. In fact, neither was happiness—no matter how hard I tried, never happiness. Life is just routine. The same things happening in sequence, day after day. Even if you try to change the series of inevitable events, things will slowing drift back to the way they were. Change never completely happens. I realized this too early.
I never liked to think of myself as "the same as everyone else." I like to think that I'm different—worthy to rebel. And I blame my parents for this sort of ego I've acquired. For as long as I've known my father, he never seemed to show any other emotion but disapproval and anger. As a younger child I always secretly felt ashamed of myself. A son who could never make his father smile—I thought I was pitiful.
"Your father is just a very busy man. He works hard because he wants to be able to support you. He loves you very much, Aki-chan," my mother would always soothe me with those words. She was the only one who could see the sadness behind my blank eyes. But with time I found that those assuring words contradicted my father's actions too much. And I accepted it, he would never love me. I was fine with just the love from my mother. It was all I needed. So I stayed by her side and let her guide me through the hardships of adolescence. She was the only one who knew about my passion to write. She was the only one who ever read my stories. She was the only one who knew that the depressing things I wrote about were not just from my imagination. She was the only one who cried because she knew they were true. She was the only one who ever loved me. I looked up to her for the longest time. Even when she got sick, she was still a goddess in my eyes.
I was only ten when my mother passed away—far too young to even comprehend her illness. I felt so broken inside, but I never allowed myself to shed one tear. I sat in the front row at her funeral and stared at the black wooden rectangle her lifeless body laid in. The whole experience left me feeling numb. As her coffin was slowly lowered into the ground, so were my hopes for any sort of happiness. All of the dreams I once held were buried deep, deep, and forever.
Growing up, I trained myself to forget everything that happened before the death of my mother. Looking back on what could have been hurt too much. As soon as I hit my teens I began to drown my memories with liquor, smokes, and Ritalin. I went against everything adults classified as moral. I wanted to hate everything, so I made myself believe that I did. My father's rage only made me want to piss him off even more. Especially since he had brought in my older step brother Haruhiko, "the good child." I could tell he didn't like me from the start. He was jealous that I did what I wanted and never cared about the consequences. Like everyone else, he was always nagging me on how to behave. I honestly never cared about anything he did or thought about me. To me, he was just there. If anything, I thought he had a stick up his ass.
From the age of fourteen to eighteen, my days consisted of sleeping, skipping school, smoking, drinking, getting high, fucking, smoking some more, and peeing. Everyone said my lifestyle would screw me over in the long run. But I was already screwed over so where was the point in being ethical? There was none. That thought scared me. It made me think, "wow, things are really never going to change."
I never wanted to be like this, but it was the only way I could cope. After much thought, I realized that the only thing I could do was leave. Run away, far away, and never come back—escape from my life of self-destruction. So I packed up everything I deemed necessary for me to have and walked out of the stupidly huge Usami Residence. My father ran after me and grabbed me by arm baffled. Was he really shocked? What a clueless man. Or he was acting.
"Akihiko—Son. You know I care for you and do everything in your best interest. Do you really want to make an old father upset by leaving?" Hypocrite.
I slowly let my eyes soften and my lips curve upwards. I could see relief taking on his face. Did he really think I was that stupid? Silly old man. I quickly shifted my mock look of sympathy to a stern face and flipped him off. I turned and walked to my car, leaving without looking back at his face.
I'm never coming back, never. I'll start a new life somewhere else. I no longer have to be like Jesus nailed to the couch suffering for everybody's sins. They can all deal with their own unhappiness. I have a enough to deal with already.
I don't feel any shame. I won't apologize. When there ain't nowhere you can go—running away from pain when you've been victimized. Tails from another broken home.
A/N: Please tell me your thoughts on this first chapter, or even just the overall idea...constructive reviews are totally welcomed! Aaaand if you don't like Green Day, try to push that aside and leave your opinion on the actual story and writing. NO RUDE GREEN DAY COMMENTS OR I WILL EAT YOU. I'm fine with people not liking them, but being mean is another thing.
I'll have a new chapter up soon, and thank you for reading, my lovelies~