AN: I started this one for the Sinful Sundays Zucest writing challenge on tumblr. But it decided to go in its own direction lol.
Azula flinched—as much as her body would allow anyways—the pain flared up so suddenly she didn't have time to mask it. Zuko closed his hand around hers. She tried to squeeze back but couldn't muster the strength. Her arms and legs throbbed but she couldn't move to dull the ache.
"You did great out there." Zuko declared.
"It doesn't feel like it Zu-Zu." She winced as another jab like sensation tore through her thigh.
"Trust me you did."
Only moments ago, the pair found themselves locked within a furious battle. One that would either win the pair all the world's glory or lose them the Fire Nation's welfare. From unexpected places traitors crawled out—people who supported Ozai's reign or simply didn't support the siblings' reign—alongside people who still resented the Fire Nation for its former dishonors. With the war compensations Zuko had so graciously provided them, some had sought to raise an army. And using Zuko's trust against him, they marched that army right up to the palace doors.
Azula had been warning him for days about the impending attack but he had foolishly dismissed her stating that her bias and prejudice were keeping her from trusting perfectly kind people. And to make things even worse he'd also used her past paranoid episodes to further his point. He cringed briefly at the memory. "You want me to help you sit up?"
"I can do it myself." Azula declared impulsively, knowing very well that she couldn't even lift a finger at the moment.
"Azula, you blocked your chi up pretty tight." Zuko pointed out. "And I don't think it'll do any good to get so tense." He added.
Azula sighed, "I know." She fixed her eyes on the rolling clouds, watching as they billowed along against the sunset.
"Here." He lifted her upright and into his arms. Her body falling limp and heavy into his. "Maybe taking off some of this armor would help, it weighs a ton."
Azula nodded. Zuko carefully removed the burden of the armor from her shoulders. She wished she could assist him in helping her, but she was pretty useless for the time being. With the armor cast aside he let her lean against him once more. He found her cheek pressed to his chest where he ran a comforting hand over her hair. "Is this comfy for you?" He asked.
"Comfortable enough." Azula replied. Truthfully removing the armor had done wonders; though she still felt somewhat heavy and weighed down.
"Are you sure, I can carry you to your room if you want." Zuko offered.
What she really wanted was the use of her limbs…and her bending. "It's up to you, I don't really care." No sooner than the words left her mouth did she find Zuko lifting her up, taking her to her room. Where she'd spend the next four days.
"Next time the town is on fire don't try to put it out all by yourself." Zuko scolded on the third day. "You could have died, you're lucky you just blocked your chi up!"
"But for how long." Azula grumbled. "It's never been blocked for this long." In those three days she had managed only to flex her toes. She tried her fingers again to find them completely paralyzed.
"Like I said, you tried to carry a city's worth of fire all by yourself." Zuko pointed out. "You didn't think that, that would do some damage?"
"I did what I had to do to protect our nation." Azula replied stubbornly. "Can you cross my arms over my chest for me?"
"You want me to help you sass me!?" Zuko asked.
"Yes, I would much appreciate it."
Zuko stifled a laugh and fulfilled her request. "Happy?"
"Not quite but it does make me feel a little better knowing that I can still get you to do stupid things." Azula answered. She let it hang at that for a few moments. Just when Zuko thought he'd have to bring the conversation back she spoke up again, and this time very softly, sadly. "Do you think that…that I'll ever be able to bend again?"
The day before, both TyLee and the healers had offered her only dismal information. That this was the worst chi blockage that they'd ever sensed in a person. That they her chi points were damaged beyond their skills and that some had even ruptured in her left arm. "I want the truth Zuko."
"I don't know." He confessed, brushing her hand with his thumb.
Her stomach knotted, she'd never felt so helpless, save for being chained up to a grate so long ago.
By the fourth day she was on her feet again. Pleased with that small luxury she didn't complain about her numb arms falling limply at her sides. Though it was hard to bite her tongue when Zuko had acquired her a small band of servants to follow her around preforming basic tasks for her. Despite what everyone thought about her pampered lifestyle, she was more than content picking up things she had dropped or reaching for things across the table on her own.
With all of the palace wealth she never had to lift a finger.
Never would.
But oh how she wanted to.
On one such night she had gone to take a bath, unassisted, only to find that fetching her shampoo bottle was too difficult a task. Pathetically, she tried to grab it with her feet which only served to knock the bottle under the water and when she finally took hold of it again another thought invaded her head; what are you going to do scrub your hair with your feet? She gave a bitter laugh before collapsing into an all-out sob. By the time the servants had come into the room she had dipped her head under the water, they didn't need to know that she had been weeping like a child.
Her serving women waited for her to step out of the bath before wrapping a towel around her and patting her dry. She ignored the twinge of discomfort. Contrary to speculation she had always bathed alone; the servants had only washed her hair.
She silently admitted that she'd feel more comfortable with Zuko patting her dry.
With a heart as heavy as her useless arms felt, she strode down the hallway, stopping only when she came before a closed door.
She waited until one of the servants noticed and pulled it open for her with a respectful yet too pitying nod.
Some nights later she woke up to a sharp stab in her elbow. With nothing else to do, she rolled over and tried to ignore it. Finally when the stinging became to unbearable she got up and stared out of the window. Her eyes skimming over a couple of charred—but otherwise unharmed—buildings. "They're still standing thanks to you." Zuko had told her one night with a smile. Underneath it she could sense him continuing to chastise her for being so reckless and thoughtless. And so foolish.
Or perhaps she was projecting again.
She squeezed her eyes shut.
Not remembering ever have actually fallen asleep, Azula woke up that morning momentarily puzzled. She blinked, feeling so tired she wondered why her body had woken her at all. With her left hand she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and moved towards the kitchen where she awaited breakfast.
As timely as ever they had set her breakfast before her, the servants would be along any time now to help her eat it. Still feeling sleep-dazed, she picked up the nearest fork and jabbed it into the first food item she saw.
It took more time than it should have and one confused but cheerful look from Zuko for her to realize that she had picked up a fork. That she had rubbed her eyes. Though her right arm still hung as useless as a dead tree branch, her left seemed to be obeying her.
"Now if only the other one could catch up." Azula muttered to Zuko, "I need that one more." She motioned to her dominate hand.
"I'm sure it will." Zuko replied.
But it didn't.
And it wouldn't.
Azula spent a good portion of her time, the time usually spent mastering her bending, perfecting her handwriting and wishing she had completed her goal to become ambidextrous years ago. At least now her handwriting was legible.
Much to her anger, she was still struggling with 'A', of all letters. A's and O's. Circles frustrated her, for no matter how hard she tried she could never shape them flawlessly like she used to. With an ill-tempered huff she threw the pen down and stormed down the hallway, accidently slamming into Zuko and knocking him to the floor.
"You alright?" He asked from below?
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She held out her good hand. "Take it, it's the only one I can give you."
Zuko snickered. "Glad you have a sense of humor."
"It gets me by Zu-Zu." She replied dryly.
He nodded. "So you are alright then?"
"Sort of." She replied.
Her head dropped, shoulders seeming to sag even more. Zuko winced, his sister seemed to be collapsing before his eyes.
"No." She admitted.
"But you can take care of yourself again." Zuko pointed out. "And you can use that arm."
"Yes but I still can't bend and I want to use the other one!" She might as well have been stomping her foot, she sounded like such a child. She sniffled. "I'm useless without my bending. Weak."
Zuko hugged her close like he had on the first night. And wiping her tears away he said, "that's just not true." He cupped her chin in his palm and lifted her head so that he could gaze into her soft and sad eyes. "Really it isn't. I don't know many people who could hold out so well. You know, the healers told me that you'd never be able to walk again…" He trailed off.
"So?"
"So, you do amazing things."
"I just get lucky." Azula whispered. "But I think I used my luck up when we were kids."
"It wasn't luck." Zuko replied. "You were determined and it paid off. You were patient and it paid off. How many people do you think would just give up? You're still trying."
"Trying what?"
"To get your other arm to move. And to use your left one as well as you used the right one. It's working." He moved to one of the decorative suits of armor lining the hall and tugged out a sword. He placed it in her left hand. "I know you can use it without hurting yourself or someone else…well someone else who you don't want to hurt."
Azula stared at its intricate blade. "I still can't bend."
"You don't need to, you can fight just as well with this. And don't tell Mai but I think you can fight better than her with a blade."
"You're just saying that."
"I'm not! Firebending isn't the only thing you're good at."
"Was good at." Azula corrected, slicing the blade at nothing in particular.
"You can bend with one arm." Zuko protested.
"My chi is still blocked." Azula replied.
"Keep working with the healers. Keep trying." Zuko suggested. "If you keep doing that I'll have a special sword made for you to use while you wait. You're really strong, stay that way."
Azula pursed her lips, "fine but it won't do any good." She moved her good hand to her hip. "And I am awful with a sword, truly."
"Then do what you do best and fix that." Zuko insisted. "We all know that your hard work usually pays off."
Despite giving a firm no, Azula found herself tempted by the sword Zuko had crafted for her. It was a pretty thing with a golden hilt and a blade resembling fire—Zuko claimed he paid for it to be cut from a sapphire. For a while it had sat on by her bed side willing her to pick it up. She almost felt bad for not using it. And a few days later, despite her resentment of it (simply for not being her weapon of choice) and despite feeling like she was somehow betraying her bending, she picked up the sword.
It felt very odd and completely foreign during the first few days of its use. But slowly it seemed to start working with her. As if it wanted to be an extension of her. As if it wanted to be as useful to her as her bending has been.
With the sword in her hand, Azula moved through her old firebending stances. Gracefully cutting away at the practice targets. It was then that she had come to realize that maybe it was. If she could so easily incorporate her old fighting style into it, then maybe it was worth something.
"I told you, you'd like it." Zuko smirked, Azula gave a small start at the sudden sound of his voice.
"I don't." Azula lied.
"If you say so." Zuko replied sadly taking a step forward and making a snatch for the sword.
Azula jerked it out of his reach. "What are you doing!?"
Zuko tilted his head slightly. "You said you didn't want it."
"I said I didn't like it."
"Same thing." Zuko shrugged making another grab for the sword.
Azula stepped back, "I oughta slap you. I really wish I could."
"I promise, you don't need both hands to do that."
"Yes well maybe I want to be able to slap you with both hands! I mean I can do this…" she took her right hand in her left and slapped him with it, "but it's not the same!" In spite of herself she laughed.
"You sure, because I think you enjoyed that a lot more." Zuko asked with a laugh of his own.
"Kind of actually." She replied, slipping the sword back into its sheath.
"Well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." Zuko smiled, he turned to leave. Azula let him get halfway across the courtyard.
"Zuko, wait."
He turned back around.
"Thank you, for the sword. I do like it." She ran her fingers down the sword's covered blade. "I just miss my bending."
"I know." Zuko replied. "Just get friendly with that sword until it comes back. Because it will come back. And I'm rather curious about what you can do with both a sword and your bending."
Azula nodded.
She could feel it in herself.
The fire.
It was still rather lukewarm but she could feel it flowing through her body, just barely out of reach.
In a month's time the only cold that remained was in her right arm.
Sometimes she could swear she could feel the warmth in it too.
Even if it never moved again, she had grown to realize that she could do just well without it.