The Greater Pain
Part 1
Dark and silence.
It's everything I can sense, but I've got to be sure.
I need to be alone.
I hate the idiots that live in this castle: they are stupid and noisy and they annoy me. And when I'm annoyed, there's always somebody who gets hurt.
The quivering light of my candle is beaming on the shelves, but it is choked by the darkness surrounding me. It's swallowed by the creeping shadows, blanketing the library in darkness.
I grab the book from the pile towering on the desk and I open it slowly; I want to read it again, in case I overlooked something important. Every detail could be crucial.
"There were once three brothers..."
The story begins in that way. I know it by heart, now.
It's just a fairy-tale, the fools say.
In every fairy-tale, there's some truth, and if you put aside the part about Death, in this fairy-tale there's a truth I like.
Artefacts powerful enough to make a person the master of Death... it's an intoxicating idea.
What could they achieve if they were reunited in the right hands, in my hands?
For that is their destiny, I am sure of it. I was born to rise above the mediocrity that surrounds me. I'm more skilled of anybody else in this school.
Someone whispers that there will be a war soon, that some wizards think wizards and Muggles cannot coexist.
They're idiots. When there are problems in a pack of wolves, a new hierarchy is established.
The Hallows will allow me to do so, the Hallows will open me the gates of the world so that I can finally take my place in the universe. A place where my might shall not be wasted. A place at the top.
I just have to find them.
I have a name and a place.
Nothing else is important anymore.
It's little information, but it's more than enough; I can finally start the true search and stop wasting my time buried in the library.
I'm a step closer to the Hallows. It won't be long till I find them. They are meant to be mine.
The excitement runs through my veins like liquid fire.
Lately, it's made me do a few things, stupid things. But it's not important. No one will complain; they're too scared to try.
It's so amusing to see that everyone tries to change the road they're on whenever they see me. Or when someone passes me by without daring to raise their eyes.
And this is only the beginning. Imagine what I will be able to do when I've achieved the Hallows.
But there's one last thing I have to do before I leave.
I went out during the night so often that I've learned the gatekeeper's timetable, so it's so easy to avoid him.
I'm standing in front of a wall.
I've chosen it very carefully: every day, all the people living in this castle - students and professors- have to walk beside it. I slowly move my wand, and signs as black as ink appear on the wall.
The following day each and every person in the school is there, admiring my work: a triangle enclosing a circle with a vertical line inside it.
It's perfect. Not that I expect someone to understand it's true meaning, but from now on, everyone will link it to me.
It's the witness of my future glory.
No matter how they're going to try, they'll never be able to erase it.
It will remain forever, unchangeable and eternal, and so will I, once I find the Hallows.
The same day the professors gather together and come to tell me I'm expelled.
They're frightened by my possible reaction. But I burst into laughter and thank them; they can't imagine how grateful I am.
I know exactly what I'm going to do now. I have a name and a place.
Ignotus Peverell, Godric's Hollow.
~oOo~
Bathilda Bath's living room was filled with the afternoon light. The woman was coming and going from one room to another, chirping at her nephew and his guest. Finally, the two had met and they were sipping some tea together.
Actually, they were examining one another, exchanging from time to time a couple of words.
The search has been longer than I expected.
Maybe I'm hesitating: every day I tell myself that the next I will reach a turning point, but I do nothing.
It's like something is missing, though I can't understand what it is.
It's making me go insane.
All I can do is wait, day after day.
And it's not like the company is exciting: aunt Bathilda can be very annoying when she wants, especially when she insists on something. "Gellert, you should go out!", "Gellert, you should stop studying so hard!", "Gellert, you should meet our neighbour!".
My instinct told me to give in, in the end. A
nd the instinct of a predator is never wrong.
Albus Dumbledore had always thought that there was no need for long conversations in order to understand a person, and his theory was proven right while he observed the wizard sitting in front of him without even bothering whether or not he was being rude.
It could have been the reflection of the sun on the fair curls, but the German seemed surrounded by a golden aura that increased Albus's impression that he was some sort of fairy creature come from a heavenly place.
Gellert Grindelwald, for his part, glanced back with interest, trying to understand if the stern frown and the intent look painted on Dumbledore's face was a sign of a contemplative nature or of something more.
You caught my attention from the first moment I saw you, I have to admit it.
Despite the tired face and the unhealthy appearance, there is a kind of glimpse inside your eyes that makes me thing you are not part of the desolation that dominates Godric's Hollow.
But it seems to me you're trying to suppress it, that light.
It's not just ambition or curiosity.
Genius, I dare say.
The atmosphere is full of a strange sensation, you too can feel it, as if it was filled with electricity connecting our minds.
« Is there a reason you have been expelled from Durmstrang? – Albus asked after a moment of thought; then, in fear of having been indiscreet, he quickly added. – If I may ask. »
What did aunt Bathilda say?
Oh, of course: "The professors in Durmstrang are too strict; they expel students for things that at Hogwarts wouldn't be punished with an hour of detention."
Now, forgive my curiosity, but I'd really like to know the punishment applied in your school to those who by accident set fire to the beds, or inadvertently happen to torture a classmate after a sarcastic retort.
You're too clever and you don't want to hear these stories.
You want the truth, don't you?
Gellert bent forward, towards the other boy, and he looked him in the eyes.
« They were afraid of me. »he whispered, then he smiled innocently.
« Had they a reason to? » Albus replied.
Grindelwald sat straight and shrugged. « I was more powerful than them. »
If you are shocked, you don't let it show. But after all I don't think you are.
Maybe you believe I'm a crazy, boastful prat.
Yet I have the feeling that you... understand what I'm saying.
Bathilda entered the room carrying a wobbly tray of pastry.
« Thanks, auntie. » said Gellert, although it was obvious that he was annoyed with the interruption.
« It was nothing, dear. – the woman happily replied. – I'm so glad you two have finally met. I knew you'd get along well. Just look at you: you already look better, the both of you. Albus, dear, you must take Geller out in the neighbourhood one of these days. It's not healthy for him to be always locked up in his room!»
« Of course I'll do it, Mrs. Bath. » Albus reassured her.
The witch said something more about the fact that the young Dumbledore was indeed a sweet and lovely boy, then she left again.
« What are you studying? » Albus asked when they were alone again.
Gellert sipped his tea, deep in thought. He kept staring at the other wizard, with his eyes half-closed.
« A bit of everything, actually. – he finally replied – Transfiguration, old legends, ancient family trees. »
He had hesitated before answering. Albus noticed that, but pretended he didn't.
« It's a good way to pass the time. » he said.
« It is indeed. But now it's your turn: what is a brilliant mind like yours in a place like Godric's Hollow? It surely isn't the most exciting place in the world. »
« Yet you came here, and of your own accord. »
« I have my reasons. » Gellert answered.
Silence fell between the two young wizards, though none of them was able to look away.
You're curious, I can feel it. I know you'd want me to go on, to explain you everything.
Not today, Albus, today is not the right moment to do so.
But there's something in you that prevents me to leave you so dissatisfied.
You'll leave with a promise, and that's more than anybody else has got from me in a lifetime.
I promise that one day I'll tell you about it, I'll make you part of my glorious vision.
~oOo~
That night, after supper, Albus went to his room to read the book that his friend, Elphias Doge, had lent him before he'd left for Europe, but shortly after ten o'clock he heard a noise at the window.
Lifting his eyes from the pages, he saw an eagle owl perched on the windowsill.
He immediately got up and opened the window; the owl looked at him with its yellow eyes while the boy was taking the parchment tied to its leg, but it didn't allow Albus to touch it.
Right after it had been freed from the message, the owl opened its wings and soared into the air, only to glide elegantly towards one of the windows of the opposite house.
For a few moments, Albus followed it with his eyes. Then he read the message.
"You promised me a tour, and I fully intend to collect. Tomorrow afternoon?" it read.
In that moment, a backlit figure appeared at the window of Bath's house. Albus immediately recognized him. Gellert absently stroked the howl before it entered the room, then he nodded in the direction of Albus and disappeared again. Although he was only able to barely see him, Albus was ready to swear that Gellert had a smile on his face.
I look around me, although I can see nothing.
My mind is so excited that it refuses to focus on anything around me.
A strange sensation has taken possession of me; not of all-powerfulness, as it happened so often in Durmstrang, but of well-being and wholeness.
I was right to follow my instinct because it didn't fail me.
I was missing something. Something I believe I finally found.