Simmons & Grif's First Own Fanfic

Chapter 1: The Introduction

Hiya. I'm Simmons from the worldwide famed series Red vs Blue

And I'm Grif. I just lay around and do nothing

That's not what we're doing here today, Grif.

Oh? Well since you're such a kiss-ass, why don't you tell the readers what we'll be doing?

I think that's a great idea. You see, folks, over the past fourteen seasons, we've been primary characters for as long as we can recall

Nah, I pretty much spent all seasons sleeping inside my armor, smoking through my helmet…

WHAT? BUT-BUT… I THREW THAT OUT IN SEASON 2!

I happened to have a spare one.

Where'd you get it?

Uh….

Grif….

…Burbank?

… you stole it from Tex, didn't you?

…Yeah

WHERE IS THAT LAZY COCKBITE AT? I SWEAR IF HE DOESN'T GIVE ME MY LIGHTER BACK, I'M GONNA BASH HIM SO HARD IT'LL BE LIKE RAGING BULL MINUS MARTY SCORSESE!

…

Boy, she definitely is NOT a nice lady

Yup.

I HEARD that, you nerd. Say that again and let's see if you can kiss up to Sarge with only your head and no extra body parts

….

Um….

Anyway folks, as I was saying earlier, we felt like we didn't get our own story arcs. So today, we'll be having our very own adventure fics I so smartly titled Simmons and Grif

Ohhh come on, that is SO lame

Oh it is NOT!

Yes, it is. Let's see… Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Bob and Bing, Tom and Meg, Tom and Katie, Demi and Ashton, Bebop and Rocksteady, Timon and Pumbaa, Sonic and Knuckles, Batman and…

DON'T. YOU. DARE. SAY. ANYTHING. ABOUT. THAT. MOVIE

….

Yeah, I'd agree with him Grif. The movie TOTALLY sucked

Yup. So that's the title?

That's the title

Any other characters?

I'm glad you asked dirtbag

*sighs* ohhhh God….

I'm gonna be makin some very quick uno momento cameos, or like some really hot zippy walk-ins. Hehehehe

And so am I!

Great, there's Donut

Hey! Don't forget me, assholes!

…EPSILON?

In the flesh, beeyotches

….we-we-we thought you were dead?

Oh for all that is sacred and holy, haven't you EVER forgotten the fact that I am a father hugging ghost?

….nope

Good.

Hey, there better not be any cameos from you know who

What? I don't know any… uh-oh

Bow chicka bow wow!

OK THAT'S IT! IMMA KILL HIM!

Uh-oh

Uh-oh

KARA! ALEX! A-A little help please?

….

Don't tell me; they headed to the break room?

yup

door locked?

Most likely

TEX, NO! EASY, TEX, EASY!

MADISON! GET THE SEDAGIVE!

Uh, guys, this, like, isn't Young Frankenstein, ok? Seriously

JUST GET ME THE SEDATIVE NOW!

…we'll be right back