Author's Note:
A songfic inspired by 'In the End' by G-Dragon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, K-POP and what have you, but I really enjoyed this one. It's a bit of a sneak peak at what I have in store for you guys in the future. If I ever get around to focusing on one story long enough...
Love is painful. Although love is painful,
I repeat it like a fool. That's what I always do.
Again, her dark brown eyes were reduced to tears. She cried, unable to control herself. The soft, pink strands of her hair fell in her face, trying to hide her shame, to hide her pain. Again, he broke her heart, as if it was nothing.
"Why do you keep doing this, Seifer? Why do you keep doing this to me?" She shouted between sobs.
The blond remained silent.
He stood there before her, watching as she fell to her knees crying. This wasn't the first time he had seen her cry so painfully. He always did this to her. There was no fixing the way that he was. Whenever he missed her company, her kisses, he would coax her into this false sense of romance. He was too close; he was in danger. He'd let go and watched her fall, agonizingly hitting the harsh ground, alone.
Time and time again, she would fall for it. How many times had it been?
But pain is beautiful, the same as you.
"I'm sorry, Adalia," he would whisper in her ear, holding her close against his chest.
Time and time again, she would take his apologizes to heart, hoping that everything would be alright. People can change, right?
Hope turns into disappointment. Hope turns into despair.
The deeper love grows, the deeper the pain gets.
I make the mistake of thinking and hoping it'll be different this time.
Never again. She would spend her days alone. She couldn't allow herself to remain so attached to him, so smitten by him. He would only do it again. She couldn't allow herself to be drawn into his turquoise eyes.
In the end, how many years would have passed?
There is no such thing as forever.
In the end, were we never meant to be?
I am alone again.
Thoughts of the perfect house with the white picket fence would often drift to her daydreams. The image of herself, the blond lover, and a small bump hidden under her dress. That was all she ever wanted. She wanted that perfect foreverwith the man she loved.
Barely, barely, barely - I thought I only barely found true love.
But in the end, in the end, it ends like this.
He wasn't that far away. Just across town, he was staying in a small, dinky apartment, much like hers. They crossed paths; never once looking into each others eyes. He ignored her, as if she didn't exist. It hurt. It hurt a lot. She spent so many sleepless nights, silent tears sliding down her cheeks.
My heart is just like the first time,
but now it's filled with scars because of you.
Not a single thing could get him off her mind. The salty smell of the sea, the warm grains of sand beneath her feet, the cold splashes of the ocean; there were memories anchored to the very soul of this one girl. She could never forget the kisses, the love bites, the tears, the pain.
We keep changing.
Because of your cold voice, I'm growing cold as well.
Seifer's mean glare would often burn her icy skin as he passed her by. Sometimes, there was a girl on his arm. Different girls; they never lingered.
As she was curiously reading the novel in her hands, her eyes were distracted. Leading herself straight into the path of another person, she yelped lightly, almost meeting the concrete sidewalk.
"Watch where you're going, idiot."
His voice still stings.
We grown so far apart to turn things back,
to linger around each other without any feelings.
It was so hard that I gifted you with separation,
and after turning around -
"I'm falling without you."
The plain, white ceiling was staring back at the blond male. Another nameless woman lay beside him, asleep. His mind couldn't help but wander. To see those brown eyes looking back at him, to see that smile again...
He couldn't help but wonder what she was up to. He couldn't help but wonder if she was happier without him. His constant teasing, his arrogance, his neglect; she didn't deserve it all. At the expense of his own life, he had to protect her.
He couldn't help but feel like he made the wrong choice.
In the end, whose fault was it?
There is no such thing as love.
In the end, is breaking up losing?
I'm tired and I fall asleep.
Rose pink tresses disappeared behind the corner. The scent of cotton candy trailing behind her as she hurried to her destination. Tears were streaming down her face. Not again.
Slamming her back against the door, she allowed her self to sink to the floor. The dirty carpet was little less than comforting. She sat in the darkness of her apartment for what felt like hours. After all of this time, she realized just how badly she longed for him.
But Seifer had ignored her. How long has it been? Years? Did it matter anymore? People can change, right?
She closed her eyes, a light, peaceful sleep overcoming her.
Barely, barely, barely – Is this point barely our last?
In the end, in the end, are we becoming strangers again?
Today, he smiled at her. Her heart skipped a beat, instantly warming her once cold core. Just like that, she found herself falling again. She had tried so hard. She was so close to finally letting him go.
"Adalia," he murmured, his tone a soothing one, "I miss you."
My heart is just like the first time,
but now it's filled with scars because of you.
"No!" Adalia cried out, pulling out of the blond's grip. "I'm sick of you doing this to me over and over again. You think I'm just going to keep crawling back? I'm done, Seifer. I never want to see you again!"
That pained look in her eyes every time he hurt her; he should've been able to see it. He shouldn't have done the things he did, said the things he said. He was afraid. Seifer Almasy was afraid of losing her. You can't lose what isn't yours, can you?
The pain. The pain would never go away, though.
We keep changing.
Because of your cold voice, I'm growing cold as well.
Meaningless dates continued to fail. Her eyes were distant, even as the man sitting before her would shower her in compliments and gifts. No amount of chocolates or jewelry could make this man anything more than just another name she would soon forget.
We grown so far apart to turn things back,
to linger around each other without any feelings.
It was so hard that I gifted you with separation,
and after turning around,
I'm falling without you.
At the end of the day, there was no denying her feelings. Nothing, no one, could make her forget the feeling she got when Seifer had first kissed her. The fiery feeling in the pit of her stomach could never be extinguished. She found herself once again gazing at the photograph she kept locked away.
His eyes still held the same, confident flare, but his features were softer. He seemed happy. Maybe he really was happy.
Unable to break her eyes away from the picture, she sighed, choking back the unrelenting tears.
"Yeah, I'm falling without you."
I didn't know at first. I liked her empty spot.
But after a day or two, I would appreciate her.
I didn't know about myself.
I thought I could live well without you.
Tomorrow will be different from today.
The decision he made - one could only hope it was the right one. His feet were aching after a long day at work, but he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to see her. Adalia, the only one who was still standing by his side after spiraling out of control. Adalia, the only one who believed things would turn out alright. Adalia, the only one he needed to see. Adalia, the only one he needed to love.
It's already been 1, 2 years.
As much as the hardships of those times,
my lingering attachments increase.
I pray that things will change, as time passes, for you my baby.
Something was drawing her down to the shore that afternoon. Adalia's mind had been swimming, drowning in old, forgotten memories. Replaying each and every kiss in her mind, watching the film over and over again, remembering every word that fell from his lips.
Those broken promises were the ones she held on to, hoping with everything in her that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.
"Is it bad that I.. want to see him again?" she sighed, slipping her old boots off to dip them in the cold, refreshing waters.
My heart is just like the first time,
but now it's filled with scars because of you.
There was no mistaking her iconic pink locks that danced ever so lightly in the breeze. She was just standing there, drawn into her own little world. Two cyan eyes locked onto her form, unable to look away.
The annoying ache of staring eyes soon broke the girl always from her own thoughts. For a split second, her dark, desolate eyes were secured by his blue hues. She couldn't look away as her lover darted across the hot, white sand. It was as though not a day had passed.
A rush of emotions flooded her heart. She felt happy, excited, angry, hurt. Everything was becoming too much for her. She began to cry again.
We keep changing.
Because of your cold voice, I'm growing cold as well.
Another loving embrace. What was she to think? Seifer's large hands tightly held her, not daring to loosen his grip. His palm rested on the back of her head, gently caressing her hair. The unmistakable sent of lavender filled his nostrils. Even after these years apart, Adalia had never changed her shampoo. He chuckled lightly to himself.
With eyes wide, Adalia squeezed the fabric of his coat, unable to fully register his actions. He was hugging her. His arms were securely tied around her, unshakeable.
"G-get off of me," she spat, lightly pushing the man from her petite body.
We grown so far apart to turn things back,
to linger around each other without any feelings.
It was so hard that I gifted you with separation,
and after turning around -
It was so hard to keep her tough front up. His touch, his gaze, his excuses were all tearing away at what little defenses she had been able to build over the few years since she last spoke with him.
"I'm falling without you," he cooed, looking down at the woman he loved.
Yeah, he loved her. He loved the way she talked, the way she tasted. He loved the way she used to giggle at everything he would say. He loved the effects she had on him. It wasn't something to be afraid of. There was a reason he was always thinking about her, longing for her.
Without warning, the blond pulled Adalia into a kiss, crashing his lips on hers. It wasn't a well thought out plan. He needed to remember the feeling. It was passionate, but innocent. Never once did his tongue graze her bottom lip, despite his urge. He wanted her to feel what he was feeling.
She wasn't crying. Her eyes were dry. As he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, Adalia only stared on, unsure of what else to do. Anything could happen, anything at all.
She smiled. Despite everything he had done, all she wanted was to return to her place by his side. Anything could happen, as long as she endured her hardships with him. Anything could happen, as long as she was able look into those eyes everyday.
"Yeah, I'm falling without you."