Been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry and I'm not sorry; I know I haven't written much, but I at least like to think that I've gotten a bit better in the time I've taken off.
This idea was given to me by Vaviacya. Thanks much! And people, take a look at her profile, she is SUPER awesome, Spamano namingly.
This is my 'meet the family' kind of chapter if you don't mind that. Very short, yes; the next one will be longer.
Ari – Iceland
Nicolas – Norway
Mathias – Denmark
Roma – Rome
Lovino – Romano
Foggy windows, dusty blinds, spiders scrambling across the floor. Through these dull eyes, this is what I see. What else is there?
Look beyond the fog, that's what Nicolas says, what a load of shit that turned out to be; the last time I went outside, I got bit by something, I don't even know what, but I have the bandage to prove it.
Shouts and slaps, the television's blare and the heater's roar, scribbles of pencil on paper and the tap-tap-tap of rain on the roof. My ears are sick of the same noises, always the same noises. I know they are the same, because once, I heard something different. But that was long ago.
x~
"Go back to your room, Ari." That's what Nicolas told me once when I went to watch television. He was glaring at Mathias. They used to be Dad and Papa, but the mark across Mathias' cheek and the shiny glass of Nicolas' eyes on that day, it changed things. Now they're into just Nicolas, and Mathias.
Dad and Papa went away long ago, maybe they took a train far away and forgot my ticket? If you asked me when I was that small, I know I would have said just that. But it's clear to me now; Dad and Papa were never there in the first place.
There are foggy windows, dusty blinds, and spiders scrambling across the floor. At least they have somewhere to run.
x~
Sometimes I feel sick. Once, I asked Nicolas if I was. He pressed the back of his hand to my forehead for a moment. Then he replied, "Yes Ari. It's the loneliness disease. I'll find a cure for you." and he kissed my forehead.
Then he left the room, he went into his study for a long, long while. This confused me. He's finding a cure for me, I told myself when I was young. There were so many thing that flew over my head at that time. I did not notice that Nicolas was still in there through dinner, and through breakfast the next morning, too. I didn't see Mathias carry Nicolas out, limp and pale and unmoving. All I did notice was something fall fast out the window next to mine one time, and a hazy figure in the mist and rain come by and pick it up.
x~
"Mathias?" I asked the man in the kitchen years ago. He'd looked over to me with a grin as fake as the roses Mr. Lovino left in the cemetery over Mr. Roma's grave. But I asked my question anyway.
"How come Nicolas looks sick? Does he have the loneliness disease, too?" That's when his grin left and his face went grim. He looked away. Then he replied, "No Ari, Nicolas is just tired. He tries very hard." "Tries hard? At what?" I asked, being the naive child I was. Mathias grinned again, that tasteless grin. "At being Nicolas."
Being Nicolas was hard, I thought, but I still can't get it around my head that Nicolas was tolling for both of us. Because even still, I sit in my room.
Scribbles on the paper, spiders on the floor. Shouts in the hallway; life forever more.