Author's Note: I wanted something light and silly. This for some reason came to mind. There's a couple more short chapters planned. It's almost finished. Just a little quick, fun, angstless piece. Probably takes place somewhere around 2x03 or 2x04 before things got too dark.
"You know, the way the doctor described it on the phone, I thought he was dying. I am going to murder that little shit."
Jakes grumbles as he sits embarrassed, with his head between his hands. Charlie and Paige sleepily flank him on the bench, both without makeup, sporting bedhead and sleepy yawns.
"I still can't believe you rushed us all out of there so quickly. Screaming we had to 'be there for the best man you know'." Charlie laughs at Jakes unwilling show of emotion that morning. Now that the adrenaline has calmed down and they knew Johnny was going to be fine (barely a scratch on him), they are having great fun at Jakes expense.
"I can't believe he has you listed as his emergency contact." Paige smiles with a yawn. Johnny would do that just to piss Jakes off.
"Well he should change it, because I swear I will happily pull the plug on that little cretin if he ever does this to me again." Jakes grouses.
"Nope you're caught Jakesy. You love that little banger. You're like his surrogate father." Charlie says in a mocking singsong voice.
"Yeah, I think I saw tears." Paige grins, leaning her head back against the hallway wall, joining in the ribbing.
"If I had a son like that, I would get a vasectomy." Jakes lectures both the girls, but they both ignore him. "Can the doctor's just discharge him so we can all go home?"
"You know there has to be a report filed." Charlie says, patting him on the shoulder. "Patience. Mike and Briggs are working on it."
The morning had started off with the doctor's calling Jakes, of all people, to alert him that there had been an accident, and Johnny was in the hospital. To everyone's surprise, Jakes had run screaming through the hall, getting everyone out of bed to go to the hospital at about 4:30 am.
There was barely enough time for Mike to sneak out of Paige's room and convince everyone he had been out of bed, going on an early run. There was enough of a panic that no one seemed to question his choice to run without headphones or shoes.
Now Jakes, Charlie and Paige were sitting in the hallway of the hospital while Mike and Briggs talk to a doctor about Johnny's injuries and how soon he could be released. Johnny had been in a car accident while undercover, after Carlito had gotten coked up and decided to get behind the wheel. Mike and Briggs are trying to both get the necessary paperwork, and trying to hurry the process up so they don't risk Johnny's cover any more than they have.
As the girls look over to where their boys are debating with the doctor, a gorgeous redheaded nurse walks by and both Mike and Briggs follow her with their eyes.
"What is it with men and nurses?" Paige grumbles, feeling jealous that the woman had attracted Mike's involuntary appreciative gaze. "Every guy has a nurse fantasy. I don't get it. I mean, they draw blood and play with stool samples all day. How is that sexy?"
"Nurses are maternal, selfless, and comforting. Think about it. You're powerless and vulnerable. Unable to do anything but lie in a bed. They take care of you. They pamper you. They heal you. They bend in close over your bedside, and touch your forehead. Whisper 'you feel hot'. Ask if there's anything else you need..." Charlie lets her voice trail off.
Charlie's explanation takes on a slightly breathless edge as she explains the fantasy. Paige shifts uncomfortably in her seat feeling a little hot herself. Listening to the lust in Charlie's voice, she wonders, not the first time, if Charlie is maybe a little bisexual.
Still the idea sounds appealing. Paige looks over at Mike with his arms crossed across his chest in a way that makes the muscles in his arms stand out. Something about seeing him standing across a crowded room, unaware of her eyes on him, is incredibly sexy. She watches him listen to the doctor, nodding along, and lets her thoughts wander.
She pictures him lying in a bed in nothing but a hospital gown and a sheet. She imagines walking in, in a ridiculously pornographic nurses costume, staring at his chart while he stares at her. The way his heart monitor would speed up when he saw her. Him lying helplessly in the bed as she walked around him predatorily, dragging the curtain closed behind her as she circled. She would then crawl up the foot of the hospital bed, inching the sheet down with each move, until she finally straddled him and-
"It's the uniform." Jakes grunts, interrupting both women's silent fantasies.
Looking back and forth at the two women flanking him, he realizes they're no longer having a conversation. He sees the lust on each their faces, as they stare at the two men across the room, off in their own fantasy worlds. Jakes can practically see the two women plotting all sorts of deviant acts they can perform on their individual roommates in thought bubbles above their heads. Jakes worries he may be ill himself, because doesn't want to think about any of them in that way.
"Whatever. I'm gonna go grab a coffee and see if they have any Mars Bars left in the vending machine." He grumbles, knowing that the girls no longer are listening.
Sometimes, Jakes hates this damn house and everyone in it.