The Deepest Cut
By Chibi Hime
I didn't mean to.
I didn't want to.
But I did it anyway.
I've never known a pain as deep as the one that cut through me with her words.
"I'd rather die than be with you,"
Really?
You'd rather die?
You'd rather die than be with me?
Am I that disgusting to you?
Why all the little graces, then?
Why the small touches, the smiles, the looks?
Then it hits me.
It was all a lie.
It was a facade.
"I'd rather die than be with you,"
You lied to me.
You used me.
You used me FOR HIM!
You love HIM!
Not me.
Never me.
Even when you said you would marry me, you lied!
You lied to me!
You deceived me!
I've been betrayed by the only person whose trust ever..EVER mattered.
"I'd rather die than be with you,"
You just keep talking, but I don't hear anything else.
I don't need to.
It is over.
Everything I ever wanted is meaningless because I understand I can never have the one thing I want. The one thing I really want.
I'm afraid I have always been a sore loser.
If I can't have you...why should anyone else?
I admit it.
I killed you, but the pain in my heart and soul is beyond anything you ever experienced, at my hands or of another. Imagine if your precious Robin told you that. Imagine you disgusted him so much that he said:
"I'd rather die than be with you,"
Maybe then you'd understand how it feels.
If you were in my position...would you really react differently?
See? We weren't all that different from each other...were we, Marian?