AN: I'm trying out a one shot song fic.  If I get a good reaction to this then I might write some more.  Every time I hear this song I think of Jess and Rory.  It takes place after Rory says "no" in response to running away with Jess.  The story is mostly Jess and Rory separately thinking about their past.

It almost seems like yesterday
It's clear to me as a picture in a frame
Went from singin' a perfect song
To countin' all the things that were wrong

            Jess Mariano sat in his room in his New York apartment remembering the girl that had his heart.  He loved Lorelai Leigh Gilmore more than words could ever say, but she'd never understand.  He remembered when he outbid Dean on Rory's basket because he wanted to spend time with her…sure he told her that it was only to get to Dean, but both of them knew otherwise. It wasn't long after that Dean broke up with Rory because of him…Jess finally got his way.  He wanted to be there for Rory who had her heart broken and he knew exactly where to find her.  That bridge…the one place in Stars Hollow that actually felt like home to him.  It was where Luke pushed him in, where he and Rory had their picnic, and where Rory told him how she felt.  Everything between them had been perfect until that night at the party.  If he didn't blow up at her at the party; if he'd told her about not graduation, he might not have lost her.  Jess knew it was his own fault.

            He knew Rory wanted to run away with him, she was just afraid.  Luke had called a few days earlier to tell his nephew about his kiss with Lorelai.  At least one of them had the Gilmore they wanted.  Jess wanted to ask about Rory but it was touchy subject, luckily for him Luke brought her up.

            "She's miserable."

            "What""

            "You want to know how Rory is, I know you, Jess."

            "Why is she miserable""

            "I don't know, Lorelai won't tell me.  She said it's something that Rory has to deal with on her own."

            Jess hung up the phone and thought of everything he did wrong.  If he didn't leave to spend that year with Jimmy, maybe he'd still have Rory.

Can't forget all the things you said
All the silly thoughts runnin' through your head
That I - I had no feelin's I didn't care
And you couldn't see
Love was already there

            Jess had convinced himself that Rory didn't think he loved her.  He'd never said it and he'd blown up at her so many times.  He knew why he left without a word, it would've hurt way too much.  It would've hurt like when she turned him down to run away.  He thought back to when he called Rory at her graduation…she knew it was him.  Only she knew him well enough to know that even though he couldn't say a single word he would continue to call.  It was unlike the tough guy to cry, but as he remembered everything, he could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes.  He remembered her exact words on the phone.  I think I might have even loved you.  Might.  She wasn't even sure if she loved him.  Even after she hurt him, Jess knew that he loved her with everything in him.  The love was there from the beginning, from that first kiss at the gas station…maybe even from their first literary discussion.  He knew that Rory felt it too, but he'd messed up and there was no way of getting her back.  He tried and failed although he planned to one day try again.  Why was she so miserable"  What happened to his precious, Rory, the girl he loved"

It didn't show
Cause I let you go
And now you'll never know
You'll never know, know, know

            Rory Gilmore was lying on the couch; she couldn't go near her bed.  Even though Lorelai discarded of those pink sheets, Rory felt the bed was tarnished.  Her mind had been on Dean since that she heard Lindsey answer the phone that night.  Then she thought about another guy, the one who broke her heart.  If Jess loved her so much, why didn't he tell her"  That night at the party, he didn't act like he loved her…the exact opposite actually.  She had been ready to give herself to him, had she then she wouldn't be so miserable.  She wanted to call Jess…tell him that she didn't know he loved her.  He could've said it – she would've said it back.

            The relationship with Jess wasn't like the one with Dean.  Rory was with Dean for 2 years and never once thought about having sex with him, but with Jess after two months she felt ready.  Their relationship was more intellectual, more passionate, more everything.  Rory began to wonder if she'd have acted differently if Jess told her he loved her before leaving for California.  Or if she should've said something before he got in his car and left that night.

You didn't see me walk away
You didn't see me turn around and cry
Things'll never be the same
And I never will forget that day

            "I had to get in my car and leave," Jess thought remembering the night he told Rory he loved her.  If he didn't leave then she would've seen him cry because she no longer felt the same.  That day replayed in his mind so many times; all those times he walked away from her.  He should've told her he was going to California, they weren't even broken up.  But ever since that night in Stars Hollow after he chased her around town, things weren't the same.

            Rory also felt things weren't the same after she'd heard from him.  She didn't react; she wasn't sure how to react.  The truth was she loved him too, but she couldn't bear to be hurt.  That night repeated in her head so many times, why did he leave"  If he hadn't left would she have reacted"  Rory remembered just staring at him as he left.  Standing there in shock that it took one year for Jess to return and when he did he said that.  The lines that went through her head were apologies, insults, him telling her that he hated her.  Nothing like what he said. 

            Now that she'd given herself to a married man, Rory started to think very differently.  She realized how much she really loved Jess, but he knew that.  She told him on the phone – there was no doubt in Rory's mind that he was the one calling her all those times.  He'd wanted to tell her where he was, but didn't.  Not only would she not forget the night he returned to Stars Hollow, but she'd never forget the dance off.  She had been trying to convince herself that she loved Dean, but when he made those accusations she knew the truth.  Rory knew that Dean shouldn't have been her first time…her virginity should've gone to the man with her heart…Jess.

I can't deny that I assumed
Thought ya realized the love I had for you
But now were both alone instead
Over somethin' that I should have said

            Over and over the same thoughts were going through Jess's mind.  "Didn't she know when I left for California""  He was sitting in New York alone while she was in Stars Hollow, crying, for a reason he didn't know.  Jess wanted to find out exactly what happened and he wanted to be there to comfort her.  He wanted to be the person who was holding her, consoling her, just being there for her.  California was a spur of the moment thing where he'd get to meet his father.  Luke told him that it was a bad idea, maybe he should've listened.  Rory was alone…Jess wondered why.  Why was such an amazing girl lying at home upset"

            "Why am I here alone"" Rory thought.  She knew that what she did with Dean was wrong especially once Lorelai came home with the news of Lindsey's pregnancy.  Dean's wife was pregnant; he wasn't going to leave her.    

            "Why was I so stupid"" the young girl cried to her mother.

            "You acted on emotions, got caught up in the moment.  I promise you there's someone out there who will love you and only you."

            "There is."

            Lorelai knew who Rory was referring to, but she didn't want to think it.  She was never Jess's biggest fan but she too knew that if Jess told Rory how he felt before going to California that they'd be together.  She wanted nothing other than for Rory to be happy but after he one night with Dean that wasn't going to be easy.

So maybe now you will understand, then
Wanna be here in my life again,
But until we reconcile
My heart will be alone for awhile      

            Maybe one day she'd forgive him for being such a jerk.  Jess decided to write Rory a letter, apologizing for everything and hoping that she'd one day come back to him.

            Rory – I'm sorry for leaving for California without telling you, I know I should've.  There were so many times I wanted to call you and you were right, that day it was me on the phone.  I heard everything you said and wanted to tell you then how much I loved you.  When I came back, I needed to get those words out but I didn't want to see how you'd react.  Maybe one day I will get to see you again.  I just wanted to say how sorry I am.  I love you. – Jess.

            Rory read the letter so many times and realized that she had the opportunity for true love.  Sure it would be weird if he ever became her step cousin, but she didn't care.  Rory knew exactly what needed to be done in response to Jess's letter.

So full of grace
You've flown away
With someone to take my place
They'll never take my place

            Jess had been keeping in touch with Luke for a little now and made sure that nothing ever got back to Rory.  Luke had no objections to that because he knew that Jess was the last person Rory wanted to think about.  Luke told him that Rory hadn't dated anyone else since him.  This of course meant to Jess that Rory was still in love with him too – that there was no one who could possibly ever take his place.  Jess knew that he got into a place in her heart that not even Lorelai could touch.  Rory loved him, he knew she did…someone just had to convince her of that.

Didn't Imagine life without you
This is a bad dream that has come true
I still want you
Here

            Without Rory, Jess's life was a nightmare.  She was the one person in Stars Hollow who didn't judge him by his clothes and New York background.  She gave him a chance and made him happy.  She'd also scared him because he'd never felt that way before.  Even when Dean didn't want her to go anywhere near him, Rory still found ways to talk to Jess.  All he had to do was bring up a book and he could get Rory talking for ever...then again it was usually hard to get a Gilmore to shut up.  Jess remembered when he was working at the diner and Rory was with Dean how little a chance he thought he had.  He'd given her up not realizing that nightmare of wanting her back.

            Lorelai was surprised to see Rory up and moving though she wasn't sure what was going on.  There was no smile on her daughter's face and she turned down a cup of coffee.  Lorelai had wanted to kill Dean, but she knew that her daughter was also at fault for what happened that night.

Standin here without my faith
Went and turned my blue skies into gray
Left me here without a trace
And I never will forget that day

            Rory was sitting, watching everything go by.  All through the previous summer in Europe with her mother, Rory was thinking about Jess.  She didn't know where he was or what he was doing.  Everything in her world was depressing for a while and there was no trace of Jess.  Throughout the summer she started to get over him, but she never forgot the day when Luke said he was gone and the night they argued and he fought with Dean.  Jess wanted to do anything to defend her and a lot of times he walked away from fights with Dean.

I never thought it would come to this
That my foolish pride would deprive me of your kiss
Shoulda said three simple words
And I wouldn't have to deal with the hurt

            Thinking about Rory had put Jess in a completely lethargic state.  He didn't want to move at all; he was overcome with regret.  He was too proud to tell Rory he failed out of high school and because of that he lost her.  Every time he thought of her all he wanted to do was hold her again, kiss her, and be there for her.  But if he told her sooner that he loved her, would she have run away"  She ran away…and shoplifted…the first time Dean kissed her, she ran away when Tristan kissed her, she ran away when she first kissed Jess.  When he heard a knock on his door, he didn't want to get up, but something told him he should.

            Jess opened the door to see her standing there.  Without a word she pulled him closer to her and passionately kissed him.  When she pulled away neither knew what happened they just stared at each other until she broke the silence.

            "I love you too."