Gravestone Roses

"We are here today in the loving memory..."

Pepper bowed his head, wishing for his tan Stetson he could hide himself under. He felt oddly numb to all of this, as if it were some terrible dream that he'd awake from, drenched in sickly sweat. His partner would glance at him and chuckle lowly, his sexy, dark brooding eyes filled with amusement. Pepper would blush and mumble an incoherant reply, before swinging his legs out of bed and scramble for his boots. Everything would be fine...

"Of a strong man that will be in all of our thoughts and prayers..."

Pepper was barely listening to the Pastor's words. No one could describe that cowboy, not with words. No one could describe his low, quiet chuckle, or his laid-back attitude, or his unruffled humour. No one here even knew him, as far as Pepper was concerned. Not Wyatt Forster, not Dallas, not even...himself.

"Today we are gathered here, in the Lord's house, for Ross Kessler's memorial."

They were outside in the sunshine; about to put Ross to rest beneath heaps of dirt. Ross had told them once, that if he was ever to die, he would want his last breath to be on a horse's back and buried in his boots. Both of his requests had come true: Ross's mount had been startled into the front of a pickup, instantly killing rider and horse. Ross's casket was closed, but Pepper saw him resting in the fancy coffin, hands folded over his chest, with his dirty cowboy boots on his feet. The Pastor hadn't entirely approved of the last accesory; but Wyatt had told him it was "a cowboy thing". They had even left the silver chain Cross around his neck.

"Rest in peace, Ross Kessler, and let the Lord be with you."

He couldn't take it anymore; the knowledge that his soul mate was dead was just...to much.

Pepper broke down as they were lowering the coffin into the grave, tears pouring down his cheeks. He couldn't take his eyes off of that rectangle box...it would be buried forever. And so would Ross.

Pepper crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the ground as he bit his lip to the point where he tasted salty blood gush over his tongue. He felt Wyatt's hand on his shoulder, and he could feel Sam's eyes on him. When the coffin was buried and out of view, Pepper whirled angrilly, away from the grave, and started running towards the road. No one shouted after him, no one tried to follow him.

Pepper jerked the tie from around his throat, throwing it in the bed of Wyatt's pickup truck as he ran past it. His view was blurry as the tears stung his eyes, but he didn't stop running. He couldn't. Memories of the two of them flashed before his eyes like a pictureshow.

"My God, we are the most stupidest creatures on earth."

Ross chuckled. They were laid out on the floor of the cowboy's bunkhouse, sprawled out comfortable. Empty plates that, at one time, held hot dogs and chips and puddles of mustard and ketchup to dip them in were laid in neat rows besides them. They were the only ones on the ranch.

Ross picked up the red bowl and held it out to Pepper. "More popcorn?"

xx

"Here." Ross said, tossing a small yellow ball into Pepper's hand.

Pepper raised an eyebrow at him. "Um. Okay. What do I do with it?"

Ross kept a straight face. "Squeeze it; it will make your appearance change dramatically. You'll be yellow with joy."

Pepper snorted, but at Ross's somber, "I'm serious," Pepper did what he was told. He squeezed it once, hard, and gasped when the yellow little "ball" exploded in his hand and showered him with yellow, sticky paint. The paint splattered his face with little drops and right-out ruined his jeans with yellow paint. Pepper glowered at Ross, a glare that would put grizzly bears to shame.

Ross started laughing. "Maybe not with joy, but I did say it'd turn you yellow!"

Pepper hadn't talked to him after that, but that night when they were alone under the stars, Ross put his hands on Pepper's waist and kissed him deeply. He was forgiven.

Pepper was three miles down the road when Wyatt's pickup rolled beside him and stopped, the engine still spluttering. Pepper climbed in the back seat wordlessly.

As soon as they were on the bridge, Pepper jumped out of the pickup and slammed the door shut. After tacking up Cheroke, his new mount, Pepper dug his heels into the horse's eager side took the worries, the grief, the memories, and left them behind him as he rode faster than he'd ever rode before.