Due to its surprising popularity, I decided to play around with the James Bond Universe a little bit more.
I own nothing of the BTVS characters or of the James Bond characters. Joss and Ian Fleming have that claim.
Buffy Summers laughed along with the others as she carried the boxes filled with her belongings back towards the dorm. She really wished that the vampire skank Sunday had left her stuff alone. Seriously, having to move in to the same dorm twice was really so unfair. On the upside though, she at least had the benefit of having all the others helping her out with the carrying. Things were actually starting to look up. Now if only she could figure a way to deal with the problems that the dorms represented. Sunday and her band of minions had shown just how easy it was or a vampire to walk in and out. Who knew that vamps didn't need invites to enter a college dorm. She might as well be staying at the one night motel. At least when she was living with her mom there had been something of a barrier that had kept vampires from coming into where she lived. It was going to make sleeping a whole lot more difficult than she had originally thought. Maybe she could get a humidifier filled with holy water until she could figure something else that would work.
This problem didn't even do anything about her problem with the rather annoying being that was Nancy. Her roommate was proving to be something that was testing even her, and she hoped that the girl had a really good excuse for why she hadn't at least reported what was going on. There was only so much that Sunnydale Syndrome should cover and when people started messing with her things it so became personal. She was glad that the girl hadn't been in the room though when the vamps had come, or there's no telling what might have happened then. The idea of her as a soulless creature was a bad one.
"Miss Summers." A voice called out, breaking the blonde out of her thoughts. The group paused as they saw the dorm administrator carrying a clipboard rushed up to them. "I see that you decided to stick it out after all." The person noted with a somewhat relieved smile.
"Actually someone thought that they were being funny with a prank." Xander cut in before the Slayer could make any sort of scathing report back at the figure.
"Yeah, I was kind of expecting better security while I was in class." Buffy returned in annoyance. "Finding all of my things taken and a note saying I was gone was hardly the sort of welcome I was expecting."
The dorm Administrator flushed slightly at that. "Er yes, we'll have to work on ensuring things like that don't happen." They mumbled to her. "It might be a blessing though, since now all of your things are already packed. I am glad I caught up with you before you moved back in." The figure told her hurriedly while making no sense to the group. "It turns out there was a slight mistake in dorm assignment you and a Becky Summers were each put in each other's rooms. It was an accident in the paperwork." The administrator explained to the group.
"So you're saying that Nancy isn't my roommate?" Buffy asked her with a relieved smile.
"That's correct." The person returned as they scribbled something on a blank sheet of paper and handed it to the blonde. "I'd offer to help you with the moving, but it seems that you have it under control and I do have other things to worry about." The Administrator then shot off as fast as they could much to the amusement of the group.
"Think they're clued in to the nightlife?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"Possible." Oz agreed.
Buffy glanced down at the address and frowned there was something familiar about the address. "Hey guys, there's something hinky about this address." She told them as she handed the paper over for them to see.
"A hinky address in Sunnydale? That's totally not unexpected." Xander joked as he looked at the paper.
The others passed the paper around until it got to Willow. "Oh I know this one." She told the others excitedly.
"Well Will, don't keep us all in suspense, where do we know this address from?" Xander questioned her.
Willow turned to look at the blonde. "Buffy, this is the address of the Zeta Kappas, you remember them right?"
"Actually, I try to repress that particular night." Xander interjected with a grimace. "There are some things that are much better to forget."
"The who?" Buffy asked in confusion.
"The guys that wanted to sacrifice you and Cordellia to their snake god who in return gave them some sort of charmed lives." Willow answered.
"Oh right." Buffy nodded as she remembered. "Didn't I slice a piece of him off though?"
"That you did." Xander agreed, hoping that the girls wouldn't bring up just what it was that he had been forced to wear that night. He was fine with being represso guy for that sort of thing. There was also the fact that was the night that Deadboy finally manned up and asked Buffy out as well. Like he said, there were a lot of things he liked to forget about that night. Of course the whole upper class snobs losing everything had been a nice thing to watch.
"So, show of hands, who else is thinking trap?" Buffy asked the others. Without even hesitating every one of them raised their hands in agreement with the Slayer. "Good." Buffy said as she set the weapons chest down and began pulling a variety of items from it. Willow and Giles got crossbows, Xander a short sword, and Oz a giant cross. Each of them was also given holy water and a stake as well. Buffy grabbed one of her axes and the group quickly stowed the rest of the boxes in Oz's van before heading toward the address.
"Doesn't seemed to have changed much." Buffy noted, as she examined the long driveway. "I'll go in through those big windows, Giles I want you to watch the window just in case. The rest of you have go by the front door. When you hear me start kicking ass go in." She ordered.
The others nodded as they all got into position. Buffy moved toward the giant double window doors and a quick kick broke the frame and she slipped inside around the doors. The blonde was rather surprised to see it to be rather lacking in minions to greet her. As far as traps went it was kind of a disappointment really. Even the ones where the bad guys were waiting elsewhere they usually tried to lull her into a false sense of security with some disposable minions. Holding the ax at her side, she walked over to the door and let the others in. the group wandered around the room searching for anything that the Slayer might have missed on her first examination of the house.
"So, anyone find anything that screams bad guys?" Xander asked the others as the met in the activity room. "Cause I'm coming up with a whole lot of nothing."
The others shook their heads confusion on their faces at the total lack of danger or anything having shown up. "Personally I'm still waiting, cause there's no way that I'm believing that they just happened to make this place available and then no one even being here. I was so sure that this was a trap. I mean we have history with this place and yet nothing." Buffy complained.
"You did fairly well for a group with no formal training." A voice spoke out. They all turned to see a man in a tuxedo of all things calmly flipping a light on from his seat in a large chair.
"Whoa, and uh who are you?" Xander demanded of the seemingly human figure that had appeared. Supernatural beings didn't even notice the others focusing instead on Buffy, Angel, Giles, and sometimes Oz. The supernatural world's superiority complex made it so much easier for someone to figure out who was and wasn't of the in crowd if you paid attention to who they would speak to. If it was just Buffy, then they were a vampire at the very least, while anyone that talked with the rest of them was probably human. It wasn't a perfect system, but it worked more often than not. There was also the fact that this guy had somehow evaded Buffy and the rest of them checking the house. While Buffy wasn't on Dead Boy's level, she was still better than most soldiers and Oz with his nose could smell more people than one would believe.
The man almost casually rose from his seat, yet did it in a way that made Xander and Willow take an unconscious step back from him. They had all seen the action, but it had still seemed to catch them all off guard. The man adjusted his tie for a moment before answering. "Bond, James Bond."
"Uh huh,' Buffy returned as she looked the somewhat older but definitely handsome man over. "I'm…"
"Buffy Anne Summers, Codename The Slayer, you have a working alias of Anne." Bond interrupted the surprised girl. "Your known associates are Pike, Angel the Vampire with a Soul, Cordellia Chase, Willow Rosenberg, Danielle Osbourne, Lord Dr. Rupert Giles, and Xander Harris. That's without counting your family of course."
Buffy blinked several times at the knowledge that the man had on her and the others before she managed to get her bearings back. "Should I be worried Johnny English, or are you just a fan?" she joked at the man.
"You have nothing to worry about from me at the moment." Bond returned to the girl with a smirk. He had rattled the girl, and he knew it and the others knew it. "I'm here as a representative of her Majesty's Government. Thanks in large part to your quitting the Watcher's Council or the Council of Watchers depending on how you knew them. They're actually registered under both of those names and a few more. Your actions in cutting your connections from them allowed us to investigate the organization."
"Dear Lord." Giles muttered as he tried to balance his crossbow and polish his glasses at the same time.
"Quite Dr. Giles." Bond agreed with the assessment that the former Watcher was giving the youths. "The Queen and the Prime Minister amongst others ordered the investigation of your former affiliation. We've frozen a majority of their assets while we examine how far their treachery goes."
"Treachery?" Willow squeaked out.
"Indeed Miss Rosenberg, or would you prefer one of your many hacker identities? Not that you've used many of them other than to check morgue or Council records much." Willow paled at that bit of knowledge that the man had. "In fact it was thanks to many of the back doors we traced from you that we managed to learn as much as we have about the Council. Anyways as to the treachery. The Council as a part of their agreement to train and guide the Slayer should have done better by you Miss Summers. Having a single academic as an aide is not the best method for running a long term defensive operation. The fact that the Council withheld funds for equipment training and tutors to ensure your preparedness is another factor we are less than pleased with. Once her Majesty's Government became aware of several points in their agreement that they broke with both England and other countries we stepped in. MI6 is currently assisting in the restructuring of the Council so it's not so Victorian minded. There will be no more of this child slavery or ritualistic murders that Council has presided over."
"Ritualistic murder?" Giles questioned somewhat surprised.
What else would you call the Cruciamentum test? Dr. Giles?" Bond questioned the man coolly.
Giles had the decency to wince at the reminder.
"Cool, so you did a number on Travers can't say I'm going to cry to much on that one. Now what is it that you want from us?" Buffy asked.
Bond nodded his head in approval of the suspicious manner of the girl. Despite the Watcher records on the girl, she had a bit more common sense than the journals would lead one to believe.
"We want you to continue as you have Miss Summers." An older woman spoke, as she stepped into the room.
"And you are?" Giles questioned curiously.
"You may call me M. I'm the head of MI6." The woman explained to the group as she looked them over with an assessing eye. "We have been going over the results of the past few years, and while some of your methods have been somewhat unorthodox, you have been largely successful in your endeavors to keep the world safe. This place has now been revamped as living quarters for your group while the bottom part has been redone to as an armory, training center, tactical station, and garage. Those enrolled in the school shall find that they have received various scholarships and you Mr. Giles and Mr. Harris will have opportunities of their own. There's also this." She added as she tossed a folder onto a nearby table. "Consider this as back pay for your internships with the Council." She informed them. We'll merely add it into the amount that theCouncil already owes us."
Giles opened the folder and held a check out for each of them to see. "Um wow." Buffy finally spoke after a minute.
"Yeah, that's a lot of zeroes." Xander agreed.
"True." Oz said as he looked at his own check.
"Ok you managed to get our attention." Buffy finally stammered out.
"Good to hear." M returned stiffly. "Now then a few other things." She explained to the group. "Q will be outfitting you with a series of devices. 007 here will be here for the first month or so before he will be redeployed on other missions unless he is needed here to assist you."
"007?" Giles gasped in surprise.
"Does that mean something to you Giles?" Willow asked him curiously.
"Yes, in the British Spy community a 00 Agent is one of the top agents and one of the few that have a license to kill." The man explained to the youngsters who looked somewhat impressed by this bit of knowledge.
"Yes, something that we are awarding to the Slayer and her team due to the severe conditions that they are in." M returned to the group. "I understand that similar clearance will be awarded to you should you move about in other countries. Your own Government is being somewhat slow in doing so though. Although that may have to do more with the belief that they can come up with new ways to deal with the problem rather than accepting that others may know the proper method of dealing with such problems as the ones that you face. If you will follow me I will show you what we have for this place so far."
The Scoobies warily followed after M with Bond following behind them watching their every move. Should any of them perform an action that he thought threatening he would deal with them. At this range no amount of enhanced speed or strength would save them. M led them to what had once been the dungeon area, the group gaped as they saw that the place had been refitted. Somehow or other they had made it two or three times as deep as it had been and added in all sorts of equipment. There was a half dozen men in lab coats scurrying about working on computers and adjusting weapons while a dozen men with a variety of weapons stood at attention. Each of the men carried a large dagger or short sword on their belts with stakes on the other side and a crossbow in their arms. Along the walls there were rifles and crossbow bolts.
As soon as the group hit the ground floor an older gentleman scurried toward them. "Ah M, 007, Dr. Giles, Agents Summers, Harris, Osbourne, and Rosenberg." The man greeted to each member of the group. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Q."
"Like in Star Trek?" Xander questioned before he could stop himself. He winced slightly at the glares he received from the man. "For that matter, what's with all of the letter names?"
"Not everyone needs to know the names of other people to do their job Mr. Harris." M explained to him briskly. "Similar to how many think Slayer, before they think Buffy Summers."
"Right gotchya." Xander returned nervously, as he remembered that all the men with weapons worked for this lady.
"Now that, that's taken care of." An amused Bond cut. "Q my old friend, what do you have to show our young friends?"
"Oh this is a nice new assortment." Q assured the group with a grin as he ushered them towards a table filled with various items. "It really has been a joy to have a new type of opponent to create weapons to fight against. Particularly when you consider the various deadly reactions to various elements that many of them have. Here are some of the things that we've come up with in the last couple of months. First there's footwear."
"Fashionable footwear at that." Buffy assured the man, as her eyes examined the shoes with an expert eye.
"Buffy, I hardly think that you need to worry about fashion at a time like this." Giles berated the blonde. "I doubt that MI6 was all that worried about fashion when they were designing whatever it is that these are."
"Quiet the contrary Dr. Giles. It has been the experience of MI6 that a well dressed agent is opens more doors than the highest yield explosives ever could." M returned to him.
"See Giles, they understand the important part of kicking ass and looking good while doing it." Buffy told the man with a smug smirk on her face.
"It is an important part of the role one must play." Bond agreed with the girl.
"And Giles gets shut down." Xander joked.
"It also allows us to know the best accessories go with various items." Q informed the group. "A leather jacket with armor lining wouldn't work as well as the explosive pearl necklace. Just as the body wash perfume and shampoo laced with holy water might not work as well as the rings with sonic emitters to confuse creatures with higher ranges of hearing. Then there's the shoes of course. A boot with a retractable blade in the sole is better for basic patrol while the high heel with a heel that shoots silver ball bearings out wouldn't look out of place at a party. Or the ones that have a stake built into them." Q explained to the man as he showed each item to the group. "Then of course there's this." He added as he came to an ax.
"A typical double bladed ax." Giles easily identified the weapon that the man was showing them. It had a spike on the top which made it a weapon with three edges on it.
"Its also a long range weapon when crossbows aren't around or enough." Q explained. He held the ax up and twisted the handle and the ax head shot off with small rockets or explosives and slammed halfway into a target dummy that had been across the room.
"Extraordinary." Giles muttered as he eyed the distance. By his estimate only Buffy could have managed such a blow at that range and depth.
"Yes, and you still have the haft to use as weapon." Q explained as he showed them that the metal spike had actually stayed on the handle giving a useable weapon afterwards. "There are several other items in the process of being researched as well." The scientist admitted to them. "You have to understand these are just ideas and prototypes for the moment."
"To quote Annie. I think I'm going to like it here." A smiling Buffy informed the man who grinned at the slayer.
"That is good to hear." A smiling M said. "I should warn you to be careful, because there are rumors that the Americans have set up in a facility similar to this one. Only their group is not being very skilled at trying to hide that there is a covert group here with all of the soldiers and governmental scientists here.
"Yes, we are curious as to why they are bringing in so many people involved in biology research though. So keep your ears open."
"There are of course many other things to talk about and explain but this is but some of the perks that come with what we are coming up with." M informed them. "Chief of them being that you Lord Giles are going to have to take command of the Council at least temporarily."
"I'm what?" Giles demanded in shock at this latest little tidbit of news in shocking and unbelievable bits of information. The Council which was older than some of the oldest societies had just been taken down and now he was being pushed to take one of the leading roles by the head of MI6.
"And I think you've broken him." Xander observed.
Far away in a building hidden behind magic Quentin Travers scowled as he read the report from one of his few loyal members. MI6 had entered Sunnydale and with it the accursed group that had destroyed everything that generations of Watchers had strived to build. All because the girl couldn't understand that there were more important things to do than worry about some blood sucking creature. Wesley and the wet team they sent out there should have destroyed the creature when they had the chance. MI6 wanted a war with the Council he would see to it that they got one. He would show them why the very thought of the Watcher's Council instilled fear into the strongest of beings when they learned that the Council was aware of them. . It was time to call in the favors that were owed the Council and show them what a true supernatural battle entailed. Rupert may be the figurehead now, but he and those meddlesome kids would never know what hit them when he was done with them.