Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! Belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. Inspired by "What would Yugi Do!" by redconvoy and Little Kuriboh's YGOTAS version, along with other references from the parody.

This takes place sometime before the aforementioned inspiration, between the end of Battle City and before the next filler arc. I couldn't help but wonder how Yugi ended up on a leash in the first place, you see. Frankly, I have been exasperated at the number of fics that conveniently give Yugi and Yami no Yugi separate bodies. Is it really too difficult to write them both in the same body? Seriously.

.

MIND-RAPE

.

The spirit of the Millennium Puzzle was horny.

This was a problem: having to share the body of a fifteen-year old virgin male who had been crushing on the same woman for years and was still too shy to ask her out.

Well, not entirely true. Yugi did ask Téa out at one point in time, but sent him to go instead, at the last minute. They had milkshakes and he bought new cards, watched her play DDR, and challenged the loser to a game of Duel Monsters when he stalked Téa. They never finished the game because said loser chickened out, and he ended up going to the museum with Téa to learn about his past instead.

The Pharaoh was sure he must have had a harem back in his day, even though he had no recollection of his past. Judging from Yugi's history textbooks, that sort of thing was standard in that era.

Still, not having his own body was a problem. He was tired of taking care of his needs privately, alone, in his soul room. Yugi, aware he was sharing his body with the spirit, did the same, for he was too embarrassed to be watched. Silly little Yugi.

Being a narcissist, the Pharaoh spent most of his time watching Yugi when he wasn't playing card games. Which was to say, most of the time, because tournaments did not spring up every other day, nor did they take up the entire twenty-four hours in a day. Oh yes, and being male, his mind would drift to think about sex every now and then. Like now.

And he had to admit to himself that Yugi was very attractive, despite his lack of height. The Pharaoh only looked taller because Yugi tended to slouch. They looked like twins, really. Reincarnation was funny that way.

It was the problem, then, of convincing Yugi to loose his virginity—to him.

Because it wasn't like Yugi was going to score with Téa any time soon, before graduation. Yugi probably thought of himself as straight. The Pharaoh needed to get that straightened out.

And it wasn't like anyone else but Yugi could see his phantom form. Sure, Yugi's friends and even Kaiba would notice when he was in control of Yugi's body, but they never saw him floating around when Yugi was in control.

And so the apparitional Pharaoh found himself sitting beside Yugi's bed, hovering over the boy slightly.

"Yugi."

"What is it, Pharaoh?"

"Can you feel me touch you?"

"Um, sure."

The spirit put a hand on Yugi's shoulder. "Like, right now?"

"It kind of tingles." Yugi answered him, "I know it's you, because it's not the same as an, uh, physical touch."

"So you know it's me," the Pharaoh grinned. "That's good enough."

He swooped down to kiss Yugi, who jumped out of the bed and promptly freaked out.

"I'm not making out with a ghost!"

"Yugi."

"Pharaoh, this isn't very funny."

"I'm serious Yugi."

"About what," Yugi was incredulous, "Kissing me?"

"Yes."

Before Yugi could think of an answer, his grandpa's voice could be heard from downstairs, "Yugi, I thought you were sleeping! What's with the yelling up there?"

"I am sleeping," Yugi countered back, "Grandpa! Good night!"

Yugi sent a glare at the spirit's direction.

The Pharaoh only sighed, "No wonder you never get laid."

"Just go to sleep." Yugi begged, flustered and not amused.

"No," the spirit was determined to rid Yugi of this… This shyness. "We don't have to do this physically at all."

Yugi found himself cornered in his own soul room.

"Pharaoh!" Yugi chided his other self, "What's with you tonight?"

"I'm tired of watching you sleep at night."

"You watch me sleep at night?"

"Yeah, well," the Pharaoh cocked his head, "What else am I supposed to do, wake you up?"

"Well," Yugi found himself blushing at such an embarrassing predicament, "Don't you sleep?"

"I don't need to, Yugi."

"I need to!" Yugi was getting angry now, "I have school tomorrow and there's this test I need to pass in chemistry because I haven't been doing very well and I might flunk that class."

"Yugi," the spirit sighed, "That test isn't tomorrow. I know better than to distract you before an important exam. Look, we can do it here, or in my soul room, or in the hallway. Your choice."

"But you're," Yugi flushed deeper, "You're me! This is so messed up! I'm not, I'm not into guys; I like girls!"

"Am I not attractive to you?"

Yugi never thought he'd have to answer such a question in his life. He stared at his other half. How was he to answer this without hurting the Pharaoh's feelings?

"Have I ever led you wrong, Yugi? Ever lost a card game? Don't you trust me?"

"What in the world does winning card games have to do with making out with you?"

"Well for one," the Pharaoh answered him, "I always win."

Yugi knew this to be true. The Pharaoh did always win; except, they won together. And now that was not the case.

The Pharaoh continued his speech, "Like your fashion sense. Remember before you solved the Millennium Puzzle and were a bully magnet?"

"Yes."

"And now, no one bothers you, you're the King of Card Games, you dress fashionably and you have fangirls."

"By fashionably, you mean all this bling you bought without my consent." Yugi narrowed his gaze, remembering waking up to find his closet fitted with tight dark shirts and leather pants, numerous belts and buckles, and a collection of sparkling bangles and other gold trimmed accessories. As if wearing a chunk of gold around his neck wasn't enough.

"You disapprove?"

"Look, I don't want to argue with you." Yugi began to say.

"Good. So let's just do it here."

Wait. What?

Yugi was too bewildered to stop the spirit, who felt physical on the mental plane, from grabbing his smaller body and pulling him into a tight embrace.

This was not an entirely new sensation, as they have made mental-physical contact on many occasions, usually, during an epic card game. Like with Pegasus, or Kaiba, or in Noah's virtual world, just to name a few. Mostly, it involved the Pharaoh holding him while he was knocked unconscious. It wasn't very fun, but at least it was comforting.

This context was entirely foreign to him and Yugi wasn't sure if he liked having his privacy, physical and mental, broken into entirely. He was already having trouble keeping his identity apart from the Pharaoh's actions in his body, for crying out loud!

Yet he couldn't push the Pharaoh away. Not when he was being crushed against the wall of his soul room, almost tripping over the various toys littering the floor.

Especially not while being kissed so deeply. It was one thing to imagine kissing someone, namely, Téa, and another to be the object of someone's passionate and aggressive affection.

He couldn't think straight. Was he straight? If he were, wouldn't he feel disgusted? Shouldn't he feel repulsed? Yugi was vaguely aware of how his brain ceased to function at this point. Maybe he wasn't as straight as he thought he was.

Yugi did admire the Pharaoh. In all respects, he liked how his other self was confident, proud and dare he say, conceited. The Pharaoh literally built his life up from being nobody to being famous. Yugi often felt a tad jealous at how miniscule his own accomplishments fared next to the Pharaoh.

Okay, scratch that. Yugi was jealous. But since he reaped the benefits of sharing a body, he didn't mind quite that much. Especially now.

The Pharaoh was everything in his life. Without him…

Yugi couldn't imagine a life without the Pharaoh beside him… or inside him, really.

Oh!

"Relax," the Pharaoh commanded, "or else I can't promise you this isn't going to hurt."

Geez, Yugi flashed him a hint of annoyance. Easier said than done! He wasn't the one being…

Yugi couldn't bring himself to say it. This was still all so surreal.

He knew there was date rape, but he never thought he'd be mind raped, literally.

The spirit commanded such power and respect from those around him. His eyes were so much deeper than his own, a beautiful shade of crimson mixed with his own violet, which matched the glow of his hair. They sparkled with mischief and mystery, his personality and his identity.

Yes, Yugi admitted, the Pharaoh was indeed attractive—moreso than himself, which is probably why Téa liked the Pharaoh more.

And the Pharaoh wanted him.

Really wanted him.

Really, literally wanted him—not just share his body. Creepy.

Yugi couldn't reconcile that thought with just how good it felt to be wanted by the Pharaoh. No, if the Pharaoh wanted anyone, it had to be him. He didn't care how wrong or weird or creepy it was to be making out in his own head with a long lost soul from ancient Egypt, because it sure didn't feel that way at all.

His grandpa was right to worry about his sanity.

Yugi worked on the Millenium Puzzle for eight bloody years, wishing for a friend who would never leave him, never desert him, and he had thought that was Joey! The Pharaoh had only existed to him with blanks in his memory, along with strange, fearful looks from friends and strangers, and accomplishments he never recalled earning. In fact, Yugi was dead scared by the presence of his other half. It wasn't until Kaiba's DEATH-T tournament that he began to acknowledge him and meekly open up to the spirit; and it certainly wasn't until they dueled as a team on Pegasus' island that they became close friends. Ever since Battle City, Yugi could see the Pharaoh's phantom beside him. They were now inseparable.

He realized his partner not only shared his body, but all his secrets, all his hopes, fears and dreams, making them all come true. The spirit was everything to him. Besides card games, of course, the Pharaoh really was everything.

And he felt so damn good inside him, in every way.

There was no turning back.

The Pharaoh always won.

Luckily for Yugi, that meant he won too—they won together, after all.