A/N Welcome to a crazy randomness spawned by myself and my darling sister, Astarael's Get. Yes, the two OCs are shameless self-inserts, but this is what happens when I get random. And hyper. And slightly drunk. Aster owns Tei and I own Rei, and Anno and Rimu are joint possessions. For those of you who don't know, Konan is Blue, Flower, Unnamed, whatever you want to call her. Pein is Leader. I got Deidara's joke of the internet, look up the whole thing if you want to. I also own the word "smirkery"

It was the dawn of a regular day in the Akatsuki hideout. The males of the Akatsuki were all seated around a large table; the females amongst them were busy, origami artist Konan sorting clothes from a huge laundry basket, tarot-user Tei washing dishes and doll-manipulator Rei piling breakfast onto a huge plate. The purple-haired Kunoichi spun around with a bright smile on her face.

"Waffles!" She announced.

"YAY!" Said Tobi. The rest were listening to Deidara's joke.

"It was then observed that 100 of the men who drank the female-hormone beer gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't fight, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had a sudden desire to attempt to cook and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned." He finished. The males of the table all showed amusement in varying degrees of smirkery, and Tobi began giggling.

Tei and Konan slowly turned around. The large plate of waffles in Rei's hands went slowly from horizontal to vertical and the waffles slipped to the floor. Tobi uttered a terrified shriek and flew across the table, smashing plates and knocking Kakuzu off his chair, but managed to catch a single waffle before it hit the floor.

"Tobi saved his waffle!" Tobi announced proudly, looking up at Rei. She gave him a dark look. Surprised at the lack of praise, Tobi turned to Konan, who shook her head, and then to Tei, who threw her hands up and announced thusly.

"That was a terrible joke! I can't believe you dorks found that funny! What's funny about it? Geez, I could kick your ass any day for that!"

Kisame and Deidara both coughed into their drinks, and Hidan muttered under his breath, "PMS, much…"

Tei purpled. "What was that?"

"Okay then, fine." Rei said suddenly. She smiled and took a step forwards, crushing the waffles into the carped in the process. They all looked up at her. "Let's see how you do without us little women."

"Reikisha-san-" Anno began, but was cut off by his ex-teammate.

"I'm striking. So's Tei. And Konan. Let's see how you do without us."

"Reikisha-san-" Anno tried again, but the kunoichi's rant had raised over his small voice.

"One week, one week, you can do your own cooking, your own cleaning, your own laundry, your own shopping, your own sewing, your own nails, and Tobi, you can cut your own damn hair!"

Tobi stared at her. As she spoke, she turned her heel, mashing the dead waffles further into the carpet.

"Reikisha-san-"

"Shut up, Anno."

"Yes, Telaki-san."

Tei took a saucepan half-full of the remains of last night's bolognaise and dumped it over the clean dishes. Rei went over to the oven where the night's dinner was slow-cooking, and switched it off. Konan turned off the washing machine at the plug. The three girls went around the room, switching off everything from the toaster to the central heating. As they were about to leave, Anno tried one last time to reason.

"Reikisha-san, Telaki-san, Konan-senpai, please, you're overreacting a little-"

"Shut up, Anno." Said Konan. She flicked off the light switch as she left the room.

"Um, Leader-san…" Deidara quietly addressed the spiky red hair visible over the top of the newspaper. "The girls… they just rebelled."

"I can see that."

"Um, well, they, um…"

"They what, Deidara?"

"They do all the cooking and cleaning and stuff."

"Deal with it." With that, Leader folded his newspaper and rose gracefully. "Monday is curry night. And clean that up." He nodded to the waffles mashed into the carpet. Then he left.

"Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod!" Whined Deidara, ignoring the angry look he received from Hidan. "Leader-sama's gonna kill us!"

"Calm down." Kakuzu said. "What's the problem?"

"Leader-sama loves curry night! And it's the last night of the strike and he'll kill us if we don't cook him a curry!"

"I can cook." Said Kisame without looking up.

"No, you can't." Said Itachi after a long silence. Deidara looked close to tears.

"You guys are totally screwed." Hidan announced happily. "Hey, maybe Leader-sama can kill me?"

"Doubtful." Said Sasori.

"Sucks." Said Hidan.

"You're acting like a bunch of melodramatic teens." Kisame announced. "What, you think they'll actually go on strike for a whole week?"

"They will, Reikisha-san and Telaki-san are good at that." Said Anno.

"Shut up, Anno." Said Rimu. "But, when those two say strike, they mean strike. They did that when we were on a mission once, we got attacked and almost died because they refused to fight."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So what do we do?"

"I suppose we start with the carpet."

"Someone switch on the light, first."

"I'll get it!"

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"Tobi is dead now."

"Huzzah!"

"That was mean."

"Shut up, Anno."

A/N We have so many stories for Rei and Tei. Go over to Astarael's Get and watch her, a story entitled "Leader's Towel" will soon be in circulation.