Okay, so... This? All this? It's a mostly written as stress relief, just for fun. I don't actually have much of a so called 'plan' for this fic like I usually do going in, so I'll probably contradict myself a few times somewhere along the way. I'm not convinced everything will turn out in chronological order, but the YJ events will be, with random flashback chapters thrown in there. Disclaimer? Psht. If you're looking for the guy who owns Young Justice you're on the wrong website, my friend.
I'll put warnings up for each chapter as they come, but I'll give you the major ones right now: There will be SLASH. There will be SWEARING. There will be TORTURE. There will be CHILD ABUSE. There will be FLUFF. There will be CANON AU. There will be EXTRA MEMBERS of the Team (duh, read the summary). There will be BASHING. There will be OCs. There will be GENDERBENDING for the hell of it. There will be DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS from canon (NO SUPERMARTIAN!) There will be DADDY!BATS & BATFAMILY. There will be NICE VILLIANS and some HATEWORTHY HEROES. There will probably be other things that I haven't thought up yet, but they'll be there.
If you still feel like reading what is likely to be utter crap, I'd be delighted to see you review and tell me either what utter crap it is, or how wrong I am about it's crappiness.

WARNINGS: (for this chapter) There's mentions of child abuse, and one or two minor hints of alcoholism. I'm not saying everyone who drinks hits their children. I'm just saying that in this instance, this guy does. Ok?

-Kid Flash POV-

"So you're introducing me to your… enemy?" I clarified, mostly guessing and still confused.

"No," Robin corrected. "Well… sorta. He's the Joker's son but… he's not all that bad. When he's sane. Which he isn't really, but he's still not that bad. Just crazy."

I gave him a look that said 'You're not making any sense, and I'm pretty sure it's because you're crazy.'

"Look, you have to meet him before you can understand," Robin dismissed. "JJ is… well he's one of a kind as near as I can tell."

"Somehow that doesn't reassure me," I muttered unhappily. My shoulder wasn't helping my mood any. It hurt. Most everything else was already healed though thanks to my super speed so it was no biggie. I could run it off. I always do. "And this JJ guy… he's where exactly?"

Then there was a gun pointed at my face. "BANG! You're dead." The barrel of the gun moved, revealing a kid about Robin's age, hanging upside down, knees hooked over a disused walkway. "Or you would be, if I were someone else. But I'm not, so you're not. So congratulations! You're not dead. Neither am I. Neither is he," he gestured to Robin with the barrel of the gun and I tried very hard not to shy away from it. "We should start a club!"

"KF? JJ. JJ? KF. I thought you two should meet." He was smirking at me. Robin you little troll. "And JJ, we're not starting a club."

I took a moment and examined the new kid, who deflated slightly when Rob told him there wasn't going to be a 'Nobody's Dead Yet Club'. He was pale, really super pale but not as 'white' as his dad was. He had eery, naturally green hair and intensely bright green eyes in a floppy mop on top of his head just like his father. But the smile was wrong. JJ's smile was… dare I say it friendly and not in the least bit insane and/or creepy. If it weren't for the green hair I wouldn't have spared him a second glance. JJ hopped down.

"You know without proper training you could crack your head open," Robin pointed out.

"Yeah, so?" JJ asked, "Nobody'ld miss me."

I frowned. Nobody, not even the (probably crazy) Joker's son should feel like nobody would miss them. I remembered the feeling form before I became Kid Flash. It sucked big time. "We would miss you," I protested.

JJ blinked at me and shrugged. "Nah," he dismissed with the wave of a hand, walking away. "You met me 30 seconds ago. You'd feel all guilty an' such, but yah wouldn' really miss me. An' Dickie-Bird there probably be saved a whole lotta trouble in the future. From (you know) my next about of crazy." He turned around, "Chicken wizzies?" he offered, holding up a bag. "I don' know what they are, but you gotta try 'em!"

Now who was I to turn down free food? "Yes please!"

-Robin POV-

It was going well. I'd decided to introduce JJ to KF mostly because he needed more 'normal' people to hang out with. And by normal I mean people who aren't evil and/or psychotic villains and thugs. He was now up to three: Me, Batman and KF. It was a work in progress. JJ might never be normal, that opportunity was taken form him but he didn't have to turn out like his father. Batman thought I was wasting my time, but he didn't try to stop me either. And I knew better than to think he didn't know about me visiting JJ when I had the time.

Remember when I said it was going well? Yeah. I used the past tense on purpose. At some point JJ tapped Kid on the shoulder and Kid flinched. Hard. Next thing I know JJ's perched on Kid's chest, gun pointed between the eyes and face close enough to- well, they were really close, okay? I don't want to know the rest of that sentence.

"Why'd ya flinch?" JJ asked, looking as angry enough I might've thought someone had tried to take his chicken wizzies away without permission.

Kid was handling it surprisingly well. "I didn't flinch," he argued defensively, "I winced."

"Why'd ya wince?" JJ persisted, eyes narrowing.

"It hurt. I got hit there earlier," Kid explained carefully, moving his head to the side but not breaking eye contact with JJ. The gun followed his movement, remaining dead centre on his forehead. "No biggie. Super speed gives me super healing, so it'll go away soon."

JJ frowned. "How'd you get hurt?"

"I'm a superhero, you think I keep track of every bump and bruise I get along the way?" Kid protested.

"How'd you get hurt?" JJ insisted, pushing the gun into Kid's head harder.

"JJ, that's enough," I warned. "You don't want to shoot him."

"I won't, I just need his attention. He's paying attention. Now, who hurt you?" JJ asked, dismissing me. As much as I believed JJ wouldn't shoot Wally (he wasn't in his crazy mode after all) I still wasn't comfortable seeing him press a gun to my friend's head.

"Nobody- I just-"

"I thought you got it superhero-ing?" JJ pointed out, "Who hurt you?"

"Nobody," KF insisted.

"Don't lie to me," JJ raised his voice. "Tell me what happened."

"Nobody hurt me," KF placated the younger boy, "I was running and I tripped. I fell down. You can really hurt yourself going at full speed."

JJ frowned and thought that over for a moment. "When you're going at full speed… what happens when you get a bug in your eye?" he asked, gun still to KF's head. "Does it hurt?"

Kid gulped, confused and losing his composure now. "Well… yeah. But I've figured out how to mostly run with my eyes closed when I have to so-"

"That's stupid," JJ objected, finally backing away from Kid's face but leaving the gun, striking a thoughtful pose with his free hand. "You could get hurt trying something like that."

"He could get hurt by having a gun to his head too," I pointed out cautiously, "JJ, put away the gun."

JJ turned to look. "Oh!" he shouted, "That gun! Sorry 'bout that. Mah bad." JJ was still straddled on Kid's lap but it didn't seem so bad anymore. "Hey… wait a second - I didn' even have the safety off! You wimps. See?" And in the next second the barrel of the gun was against his temple and making a hollow clicking noise.

"Okay please stop that," Kid protested, hands halfway up to grab the gun and afraid something would happen to the safety if he tried.

"We'd rather not see you blow your brains out," I agreed as casually as I could manage. It was pretty good but JJ shot me a glance that said he saw through me.

"You guys act like I can't handle a gun," JJ whined before whirling, gun in hand. I heard the click of the safety come off and - BANG-BANG! BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG! "See?" JJ made a smiley face with two eyes and four bullet holes for a mouth against one of the crates. Kid was frozen in awe. I was frozen with worry. JJ, why do you know how to do that? JJ stood up off of Kid's lap and shrugged, scratching the back of his head with his gun. "So we should all get goin' afore someone decides to see if there's a body here to scavenge. Nice meetin' you, Racer. Yeh should come 'n visit sometimes. Been fun. Later, Dickhead."

"See you later, JJ," I agreed.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you, JJ. I'll see you again sometime," KF agreed. We watched as JJ walked away, hand waving over his shoulder, still holding his gun, now empty of bullets. "I see what you mean by 'one of a kind'," I started out, "JJ… obviously he's not quite right but… he's not all bad."

"You can't really call him a 'good kid'," I agreed, "but…"

"He's hella entertaining."

"Now that he is."

-Captain Cold POV-

It isn't often a Gothamite visits us out in Central City. I'm not so fool as to think that we're considered much more than haired help by the standards of outsiders. So when the mini-Joker shows up, breaking down our door and scarring the Trickster up a wall, it's considered an occasion. Mini-Joker glared at us.

I sighed. Nobody else was stepping up so I suppose it fell to me. "What do you want?"

"I want you guys to stop sucking," Mini-Joker accused. He seemed mad. Not crazy-mad but angry-mad. And yeah, that needed clarification. "Someone's hurt your Baby-Flash," he stated icily, "Someone other than you. I thought you had some sort of bro-code out here in Central, huh? Well don't you?!"

"There is no such thing as a bro-code when it comes to us villains, you of all people should know that, Mini-Joker," I argued blandly, smirking inwardly when he flinched at the name. "And if Baby-Flash were being hurt, it wouldn't be any of our business. It's our job to hurt him."

"And no one else's," he finished for me. I didn't say anything to disagree.

Out here in Central, the relationship between the Rogues and the Flash has always been complicated. We're enemies through and through, but that doesn't stop us from sharing the occasional beer. We were allowed to try and kill each other all we wanted so long as nobody actually succeeded. Naturally though, we would never admit any of this, especially to a genuine article Gothamite. Those people are crazy (quite literally). And it would not do to show any sort of weakness in front of one of them. Especially not a clown.

"Look, I'm not here to start anything. Just kidnap him for a few days while I sort this out. When you've got him, give him this," Mini-Joker instructed. He took off his backpack and tossed me a box. "You can look inside if you want, the other present is for the bird. I'll trust you guys and Racer to get it to him."

"You think you can just walk in here, tell us what to do, and walk out again?" I asked, half surprised and half angry.

"No. I think I can just walk in here, and then walk out again because you're afraid of what would happen if you tried to stop me. And I trust you to do what I say because it's in your best interest. None of you need those toys, they're not even your style. And you'll kidnap Racer (that's Baby-Flash to you) because you'd probably need to think up a heist anyway and on the off chance I might be right, well… most of you know what it's like to be hit by your dad. Baby-Flash is one of the good guys though. He's not like us. He's good. He deserves better." Mini-Joker zipped up his backpack, now devoid of box, and turned to leave. "He's one of the good guys. He deserves a good life to go with it."

-Barry Allen/The Flash POV-

Kid's distress beacon was blinking. I was gone before my boss could turn around. What I found when I got there wasn't a distressed Kid Flash. Some green haired kid sat cross legged on top of a box in the discarded warehouse the beacon had called me towards. He didn't look all that impressive except… "Aren't you… the Joker's son?" I asked him, uncertain - although he matched the Batman's description.

"My name's JJ," he stated irritably. "Shut up."

I blinked, confused before I remembered that Kid was in trouble. "Where's Kid Flash?!" I demanded hotly. "What have you done to him?!"

"Nothing," JJ stated blandly. "And I'm not here to threaten you either. I just stole his distress beacon so I could talk to you." He held it out.

Part of me wanted to ask how he'd gotten close enough to the Kid that he'd nicked the beacon without being noticed but I decided it was better not to ask. "So Kid's fine?" I confirmed.

"Well…" JJ trailed off before shrugging. "He's probably been kidnapped by now but otherwise yeah, he's fine."

"You're crazy-" I started before backtracking, "Never mind, we already knew that. What I don't know is what you want."

"To talk to you," JJ stated obviously. "I thought I already said that part." I would've been pissed if he didn't seem honestly confused about it. Probably part of having a few screws loose.

"And what do you want to talk to me about?" I persisted, taking a seat next to him.

"Racer got hurt," JJ said. "I want you to stop it."

Seriously? That's what this is about? "Look, JJ, Kid Flash is a hero. He's going to get hurt from time to time. That's what happens. You understand that right?"

"Then why'd he lie?" JJ asked. "He said he got hurt because he fell while running. That's not how you get those kinds of injuries. Even with his healing, you must've noticed. Racer's soar more often. Have you asked him why yet?"

I blinked. I mean… yeah, Kid had been wincing a lot more often recently, but I didn't think it was a big deal. Of course I'd asked anyway though, he was my partner after all. "When I asked him about it, he just said it was just bullies from school and that his parents had already talked to them about it. He said-"

"If he said 'I can handle it' then there's something that needs to be handled," JJ stated iritably. "Something's wrong. Someone's hurting him. And he won't talk about it. I'd guess his dad but having never met his family I don't know."

"And what makes you think that?" I asked, partially affronted and partially horrified at the thought. My Kid Flash? No. No way I wouldn't notice something like that. "He didn't say anything did he?"

"Of course not," JJ snorted. "I could see it in his eyes, read it in his aura. There's a shadow on it. Of course I'd recognize it."

"So what you're saying is… Kid's being abused… and you know this because of his aura?" I tried not to sound incredulous but c'mon. I already knew JJ was crazy but this…

"Have you met his parents?" JJ asked me.

"No," I confessed, "We haven't told each other our secret identities yet." Kid Flash and I had only been partners for so long after all and he'd been the one to approach me.

"He knows yours though," JJ tilted his head to the side. "He must."

"Explain properly kid," I complained, "You're not making any sense."

"Racer can't be like you unless he knows how you got like you and did it too. You must have written it down somewhere. He read it and did it and now he's like he is, like you. So even though you might not have told him and he might not have told you he knows. You don't though… you should fix that. And talk to his parents." Well that makes perfect gibberish.

"Look, JJ, you seem to be trying to do… something…" What was his angle in all this anyway? Was he just starting trouble or was he trying to save Kid from… something that didn't (couldn't) exist? "But there's really nothing for you to worry about."

"Fine," JJ sighed. "Just… you're both good guys right? Tell him your secret identity. He'll tell you his. He's gotta. Then ask to meet his parents. It'll be obvious then." JJ hopped up off his box and started walking away. "Bye bye, sightless. When you stop being blind and talk to Racer, say hi, would ya? An' sorry 'bout the Rogues. Hopin' the goggles'll make up for it. Had ta have 'im kidnapped, jus' tah be sure…"

"Shouldn't I arrest you?" I asked, confused about the whole thing. And when exactly had JJ slipped into improper English?

JJ laughed. It sounded surprisingly friendly and not the least bit insane and/or creepy. "For what?"

That afternoon, I realized Kid Flash (Wally of all people - my own nephew) wasn't being bullied. His mom answered the door with a black eye. His father answered the door drunk and angry.

That night, Wally stayed at my house with me and Iris. His mom spent the night in the hospital, getting checked out just to be safe. His father spent the night in a holding cell pending federal charges. JJ called Iris's cell phone (apparently he'd stolen mine and looked through the contacts… that sneak! When did that happen?! - And now he knew my secret identity too!) to apologize to Wally. Wally shrugged it off, admitted he should have gotten help sooner, thanked him for the goggles (which he still hadn't taken off and kept bragging about) and promised to bring more chicken wizzies next time he visited with Robin. I spent the night wondering what a chicken wizzie was, and how I was going to tell this story to Batman.