Restoration Chapter 1: The Ruins, an all my children fanfic

Title: Restoration

Author: Kimberly21570

Fandom: All My Children

Pairings: Lena and Bianca

Disclaimer: The characters of Lena Kundera, Bianca Montgomery, Kendall Hart, Erica Kane, Jackson Montgomery, Myrtle Fargate, Dr. Joe Martin, Adam Chandler, and Michael Cambias are owned by All My Children, ABC/Disney and Prospect Park.

No copyright infringement intended with regard to AMC, ABC/Disney, Prospect Park, or any other entity. Dialogue, settings, and story content in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply.

Synopsis: This story was borne of my extreme distaste for the handling of Bianca's rape. It follows Bianca and Lena as they deal with the aftermath and work toward reclaiming the life they were meant to share.

Warnings and Author's Note: At times, this story is dark and angst-ridden, but mostly, it is a celebration of life. Warnings will be posted at the beginning of those particularly difficult chapters, including Chapter 1.

Throughout the course of writing this story—which has taken place over the course of nearly a decade—I have endeavored to offer this sensitive subject matter its due justice, and perhaps offer a ray of hope to those who have suffered similar experiences, along the way. I know, only too well, the tumultuous journey one must traverse when attempting to achieve Restoration from the ashes of the Ruins… The true beauty of the journey is found in the inner strength that is manifested along the way…

Rating: Chapter 1 is rated PG-13, but the story does venture deeply into NC-17.

Regards—

Kimberly

Restoration

"I will crawl through my past, over stones, blood and glass… in the ruins. Reaching under the fence, as I try to make sense… in the ruins. But if I am to heal, I must first learn to feel… in the ruins."

— Melissa Etheridge "Ruins"

Chapter 1 – The Ruins:

Autumn, 2004—The Cottage, Martha's Vineyard

The atmosphere was cool and serene as Bianca watched the sun effortlessly engaging in its evening ritual. Slowly and deliberately, it slipped behind the horizon's edge; painting the autumn sky in a plethora of hues that blended perfectly with the changing colors of the autumn leaves… purple, orange, red, and gold. A dance as old as time; yet somehow, each performance remained a masterpiece unto itself.

The muscles in her right leg flexed as she pushed her foot against the wooden floor of the front porch; assuring the old rocking chair would continue its calming motion. Her eyes leisurely scanned the darkening horizon as she gazed peacefully out at the tranquil waters of Vineyard Sound.

It was difficult for her to believe that it had been a year since she first observed the sun setting over Martha's Vineyard. Her initial trip to this breathtaking New England destination had been taken under extreme protest… at the insistence of the one who protected her without reservation; accepted her without question; loved her without an ending.

Ruminations of this love and devotion were unexpectedly entangled with repugnant memories of events long-since conquered, as Bianca was led into the past… carried back to the pain… returned to the ruins…

July 8, 2003—The Fargate Boarding House

Bianca slowly roused; her mind in a state of confusion. Her body was moving, in a rocking motion; still she knew she wasn't responsible for its oscillation. Initially, she became panicked; yet was afraid to struggle. Then, as she became more aware of her surroundings, she realized her body was engulfed in a shielding embrace. Familiar arms were cradling her, comforting her, protecting her. She allowed herself to relax.

As her body continued to be rocked back and forth, she noticed the burning sensation—heated droplets of moisture, pelting her cheek. The body that held her was immersed in violent tremors.

Finally, realization dawned, as she heard, as she felt, the rushing reverberation. Lena's form was convulsing as she offered her apologies, her solemn regrets, to Bianca between sobs. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. This is my fault, Bianca. All of it." Lena sobbed; chastising herself for events she could not erase. "Why didn't I leave town before this nightmare began. Before you fell in love with me—and me with you. Before—?" She was unable to continue, not wanting to lend voice to the unspeakable act of violence to which Michael Cambias had subjected her sweet, innocent Bianca.

Call it Women's Intuition. Call it Divine Intervention. Call it Kindred Spirits. Whatever the catalyst, Lena was unable to explain the force of nature that led her to Myrtle's so late on this sweltering July evening. She had parted company with Bianca only a few short hours earlier, with promises to call when she finished her business with Adam Chandler. Business that would ensure Michael's stay in prison would be long and appropriately agonizing.

Adam had found them, lazing in the park; basking in the joy of their recent reunion. It had been a tumultuous couple of months, plagued with misunderstanding, miscommunication, and yes, Lena had to admit, regretful deceit and betrayal. She was moved beyond words at Bianca's willingness to so completely forgive her misguided behavior. Finally, they were free of past regrets, and excitedly planning a summer tour of Europe, when Adam approached them with a request for Lena's assistance.

Understanding the urgency of the situation, Bianca quickly assented to allowing Lena to go with Adam, to take care of the business at hand. Adam politely excused himself, with explanations of meeting Lena in the parking lot, and after bidding Bianca good evening, moved to return to his car.

Lena reached out and captured Bianca's hands in her own. Eyes locked, brown on brown, as she softly spoke words of appreciation and regret. "Bianca, thank you so much for understanding the importance of this business with Adam. I apologize for the intrusion upon our evening."

Bianca's eyes searched Lena's face; drinking in the beauty that was before her. "Lena, no apologies are necessary," she said, shaking her head. "I want Michael to pay for what he's done… to my Mother… to Kendall… to you. Whatever it takes; you must do what you are able," she encouraged. "This is only one evening. We have the rest of our lives to make up for the time we've lost."

Lena smiled that irresistible smile Bianca loved so much, and had been longing to see once again. Bianca's words had offered her such hope for their future. A feeling she had recently begun to doubt she would ever experience again. She was overwhelmed, and excitedly pulled Bianca into her embrace; whispering in her ear, "I love you, Bianca… so very much."

She nuzzled Bianca's neck and placed a gentle kiss upon the sensitive area below her beloved's ear. Then she trailed soft kisses along Bianca's jawline and cheek.

Bianca's body responded willingly to Lena's touch, to her lips, to the heat of her mouth as it moved along her skin. She moved to capture Lena's mouth with her own. The kiss was tentative at first; almost chaste.

Lena pulled back slightly, to search Bianca's eyes, and seeing rampant desire riding the pinnacle of her gaze, promptly returned to the business of thoroughly kissing the woman she loved. She showered Bianca with long, slow kisses and was rewarded, by an equally philanthropic Bianca, with low, husky moans of desire, as waves of heat swept through their bodies. She pulled Bianca's body tight against her own as she slipped her tongue between welcoming lips and began to explore; reacquainting herself with the warm, inviting recesses of Bianca's mouth.

Several minutes and equally as many kisses later, Bianca teasingly spoke to Lena between forays into her mouth. "Lena…" she breathed; kissing her softly, "as much as I love…" slow lick, then a nibble on Lena's lower lip, "having your tongue down my throat…" A seductive smile played against Lena's lips, and then a tongue slipped inside, "I really think you'd better go…" gentle sucking on Lena's tongue. "before I take you…" soft moan, "right here…" tongue slipping in again, "in the middle of the park."

Bianca exhaled deeply as her breathing became heavily laden with desire. Lena's body was taut, as flashes of heat surged throughout, culminating in her center, leaving her begging for more.

Lena smiled as she kissed Bianca once again, then pulled back to tease, in an effort to deter the desire that was steadily rising within her body. "Well, if that's what will happen if I don't stop kissing you, then I think I shall continue with my previous activities, and just take my chances," she growled; smiling devilishly; one-eyebrow raised.

Smiling, Bianca shook her head. "Lena…" she murmured, a teasing warning in her voice, "don't tempt me. It's been far too long since we made love, and it wouldn't take much more for me to lose control of my senses." Her smile faded slightly, dark eyes glazing over with desire, as her voice turned to whispers, "I want you so much. I've missed you."

Lena wanted to point out that it had, in fact, only been three hours since their last glorious encounter; but she thought better of it, lest she start an argument, and ruin any chance of a repeat of their morning performance. She softly brushed her lips against Bianca's. "I've missed you too, Sweetheart… but I think after the past five days, we're well on our way to making up for lost time," she whispered suggestively; referencing the fact that they'd spent nearly every minute since their Fourth of July reunion, in bed, making love. She reached out, tenderly stroking Bianca's cheek with her thumb, as her thoughts returned to past indiscretions, "I still can't believe how willingly you've forgiven me…"

Bianca placed the fingers of her right hand over Lena's lips; silencing her. "Lena, we've talked about this…" she quietly reminded. "It's all in the past. You're here with me now, and I'm so sorry I ever doubted your love for me. We've both made mistakes; we've both offered apologies. Let's just move on. No more regrets. Okay?"

Lena smiled and nodded her head in response, "Okay." She paused; then reluctantly continued, "I have to go now…"

Bianca sighed discontentedly. "I know you do," she acknowledged. "Please be careful, and call me when you're finished," she instructed; concern now consuming her voice.

"Bianca, it might be very late when Adam and I finish speaking with Michael's contact in Tokyo. I don't want to wake you."

"Lena, please—wake me," Bianca responded. Her voice was low, and there was a sparkle in her eye. "You could even wake me in person, if you'd prefer," she winked.

"I think I'd prefer that very much," Lena whispered; voice a low growl. "The telephone is so… impersonal…" she grinned.

"I agree," Bianca concurred. "If you're going to reach out and touch me… I'd much rather you do it in person," she flirted.

Lena offered her an appreciative smile, and drew Bianca back into her arms. Plying her lips with several more slow, sensual kisses, each becoming a bit longer than the one previous, she lost herself in her lover's embrace. Then finally, pulling herself away, she whispered in Bianca's ear, "Kocham Cię, Bianca."

Bianca smiled against Lena's cheek at the sound of the now familiar, yet ever welcomed words, and whispered in return, "I know you love me… and I love you, Lena." She pulled back and flashed the older woman a devilish grin, "Now… you'd better get out of here before I drag you to the ground and have my way with you," she purred.

Lena reluctantly pulled away from Bianca's embrace, and turned to make her way to Adam's car. She turned again, for one last glimpse of Bianca before rounding the bend. "Be careful walking home. I'll be there as soon as I'm finished," she promised. "I love you…"

"I promise, I'll be careful," Bianca reassured. "Looks like there's a storm on the way," she deduced; eyes scanning the darkening sky. "It's a beautiful evening for a walk. I'll be waiting for you. Oh, and Lena… I love you…"

And with this final exchange, the two reluctantly turned and parted ways.

Neither of them held any premonition of the events that would soon transpire. Events that would alter their relationship and the course of their lives, for eternity. A flash of lightning illuminated the dark July night. A gentle, yet ominous breeze blew. And in the distance, the mighty thunder rolled…

Lena and Adam were just wrapping up their business when suddenly the power was knocked out by the intense thunderstorm that was assaulting Pine Valley. Lena was immediately overwhelmed with a sense of foreboding. Her only thought was that she must get to Bianca… Now. She offered hasty apologies to Adam, without accompanying explanations, and ran out the door; now grateful for the intervening force that had caused her to decline Adam's offer of a ride, and instead decide to follow behind in her Jag. She's in danger…. Oh, God…. I let her walk home alone….

Lena's thoughts raced more quickly than the engine of her sleek, European sports car. She was in a full panic, as she attempted to make her way across town. The traffic lights were out. There were cars and people everywhere, blocking her path… Keeping her from Bianca. The storm raged on, rain pounding the ground; the wind, fierce and unforgiving.

She grabbed her cell phone and hit the speed dial for Bianca's cell. It went straight to voicemail. Then she swiftly hit the speed dial for the boardinghouse. The phone rang; then went dead. Lena wasn't sure how, but she knew Michael was involved. She dialed directory assistance and asked to be connected with the Police Department. "No, this isn't an emergency," she said. Yet her heart was in a panic. If her suspicions were correct, this certainly was an emergency. Yet she had nothing to offer as evidence—at least not until she verified the whereabouts of one loathsome creature named Michael Cambias.

The call went through and Lena quickly asked to speak with the Booking Clerk. Several minutes later, her suspicions confirmed, she began to cry.

It seemed like an eternity as Lena fought her way through the traffic of downtown Pine Valley, in her endeavor to make her way to Bianca. She'd never stopped to consider exactly how many people actually lived in this eccentric little town. Come to think of it, she was actually quite amazed at the number of large corporations that housed their headquarters in this ostensibly diminutive town. She brushed the distracting thoughts aside; instead, contemplating an alternative route to Myrtle Fargate's boardinghouse, where Bianca lived. Suddenly remembering the "backwoods" route that Bianca had taken her on a few months prior, and the rendezvous they'd shared in her car, the thought of which made her blush, she turned the car around in search of the road that would ultimately lead her to Bianca.

Lena brought her car to a screeching halt in front of Myrtle's; engaging the emergency brake so abruptly she nearly flew through the windshield. The intensity of the storm amplified; almost in an act of defiance. The rain was relentless; strikes of lightning flashed on every side, engulfing her in a prison of electrical bars, as the thunder roared. Taking no time for concern regarding her own safety, Lena grabbed her umbrella, not to shield herself from the storm, but to use as a weapon of sorts, should she find it necessary. And then she was running for the front door.

She reached for the handle. The door was locked. She immediately began pounding on the door; screaming for Bianca. Screaming for Michael to leave Bianca alone… threatening him, if he'd laid so much as a finger on her. No response. Fear. Panic. Desperation. Lena quickly took her umbrella and smashed the small window to the left of the door; reaching her hand between the jagged shards of glass to unlock the deadbolt.

Mission accomplished, she threw the door open and rushed in to search for Bianca. The room was illuminated in candlelight; allowing Lena to see it was in a shambles. Chairs and tables overturned, tacky little knickknacks and magazines strewn all over the floor, and across the room, in a crumpled heap on the floor near the couch, lay Bianca.

Lena obliterated the distance between them in a heartbeat. Instantaneously, she was on her knees before the younger woman's battered form. She reached her hand out to check for a pulse; her own heart racing in trepidation. She was monumentally relieved to discover Bianca was still alive. Unconscious, but still breathing. She knew, only too well, what kinds of torture that beast was capable of delivering. She knew because she had been his target of choice for as long as she could remember. Bianca had been the one who gave her the strength to extricate herself from his malevolent clutches. Now, Bianca was the one paying the price for Lena's escape, for her freedom.

Lena gently scooped Bianca's limp body into her arms and began rocking her, back and forth. Cradling her; attempting to protect her from further harm. Lena's body trembled with sobs as she spewed forth her deep, agonizing regret. At the sound of Lena's voice, Bianca began to rouse.

Noticing Bianca's voluntary movements, Lena relaxed her hold, yet retained Bianca in her embrace. She reached out to gently smooth errant tendrils of dark hair as she whispered reassurances to her. "It's okay, my Love. You're safe now. He's gone."

Bianca's attempt to move was halted by Lena. "No, Bianca. Be still," she quietly instructed. "I'm not certain how badly you're injured. I need to call for an ambulance, for the police. Hold on, Sweetheart."

Lena reached for the telephone that lay discarded near the desk, and after acquiring a dial tone, urgently dialed 911. Bianca lay, cradled in the safety of her arms; still only semi-conscious.

The sound of Lena's voice seemed like a mere echo; almost as if she were at the bottom of a dense cavern, as Bianca strained to listen to her unrelenting exchange with the dispatcher…

"I need the police and an ambulance. Immediately!" A short pause, followed by, "The Fargate Boardinghouse… on Calvert Street… Yes, that's the address. Please hurry! My girlfriend has been assaulted. She's only semi-conscious at this point."

Another pause, then Lena gasped for air. Hesitating, she desolately responded to the question that remained a mystery to Bianca. "It's almost a guarantee, but she hasn't spoken, so I can't be certain."

A long pause ensued, and was promptly followed by a veritable temper-tantrum from Lena. "I don't care HOW bad the storm is, or HOW many accidents there have been, or HOW many injuries have been reported. YOU LISTEN TO ME!" she screamed. "My girlfriend is Erica Kane's daughter and Jackson Montgomery's niece. If you don't know who they are at the moment, I can sure as HELL guarantee you'll soon learn, if you don't get a police officer and an ambulance to the Fargate House, and pronto!"

Lena wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed "name dropping" to get what she wanted, but when it came to protecting Bianca, she certainly wasn't above utilizing the Machiavellian tactic.

Another pause, as Lena received the desired response from the dispatcher; then responded with a curt, "Thank you," and terminated the call.

Moments later, Lena returned her attention to Bianca. She smoothed dark tangles, and kissed her gently on the temple, as she held her close. "Don't worry, Bianca. The paramedics are on their way," she reassured.

Her assurances were met with silence as Bianca began to tremble.

Lena immediately noticed the change, and inquired, "Are you cold, Sweetheart?"

Silence.

Reaching behind them, Lena pulled an afghan from the couch, wrapping it around Bianca's quaking body. Then realizing that anxiety was the catalyst for Bianca's reaction, she began piecing things together and recognized the classic symptoms: Unconsciousness at first, now agitation, confusion, shallow breathing, weakness. Her mind unable to comprehend or confront the act of brutality that had been perpetrated against her, Bianca had gone into shock.

For the first time in many years, Lena cried out a heartfelt prayer to a God she was no longer certain even existed. A God she'd felt had abandoned her when she was a teenager—when Michael Cambias first appeared in her life. Her only thoughts being, if God did indeed exist, then certainly he would come through for Bianca. Sweet, innocent, pure Bianca. She, of all people, deserved to be covered by God's supposedly infinite grace.

As Lena prayed, she heard the storm subsiding. She hoped this was a sign from God that her prayers would be answered… that the storm that had become Bianca's future, their future, would be transitory in duration; moderate on consequences.

The paramedics and police arrived, inundating Lena with questions, as they worked to stabilize the young woman for transport to the hospital. Lena explained all that she knew, while anxiously keeping watch over Bianca ... searching for any signs of comprehension regarding the events of the evening. She detected none.

Once Bianca had been prepared for transport, Lena followed the stretcher out to the back doors of the ambulance. After an intense meeting of the minds with the lead paramedic, he relented; realizing it was ineffectual to try to argue with woman who possessed such an incessant streak of determination, and Lena was declared the victor. She would accompany Bianca to the hospital… in the ambulance. Feeling blatantly satisfied with her accomplishment, she climbed inside the vehicle, and settling in for the ride, continued to whisper words of love and reassurance to the battered young woman.

Their arrival at Pine Valley's Emergency Room was permeated in pandemonium. An outbreak of activity engulfed them. Bianca was still only semi-conscious, and very confused. Her mind was hazy, her body in extreme pain.

Lena spoke frantically to the Head Nurse; explaining that they needed Dr. Martin, right way. "She knows Dr. Martin. She trusts him. She'll want him to be the one to examine her. Please. Page him. Whatever you have to do, just find him for us," she pleaded.

The nurse nodded understanding and picked up the phone to honor Lena's request.

Satisfied that her request had been granted, she turned and followed as the paramedics moved the stretcher into an exam room and transferred Bianca onto the examination table.

Within minutes, Dr. Martin entered the exam room and immediately began directing questions toward Lena as he tended to Bianca's obviously visible wounds.

Again, Lena explained all that she knew.

Dr. Martin ordered a series of x-rays, and after noting that Bianca had been unconscious, he also ordered a CAT scan to rule out the possibility of a skull fracture or concussion.

The diagnostic tests were run, in their usual course, and Bianca was returned to the exam room to wait for further evaluation. She was becoming more coherent, more aware of the events of the evening, more agitated by her recollections.

Noting the change once again, Lena gently offered more reassurances to her. "Sweetheart, it's okay. I'm here," she whispered. "He'll never hurt you again. I promise. I love you, Bianca."

Again… Silence. Bianca stared into space. Her expression held only the look of a traumatized child.

Lena sat on the edge of the bed, tenderly holding the younger woman's hand, and wept.

After verifying that Bianca had only a mild concussion and no fractures of any kind, Dr. Martin returned to the exam room to relay his findings to Lena. He knew revealing such things to her would be against the rules, but under present circumstances, he simply couldn't justify withholding the information.

He explained the situation in lay terms, so that she, and hopefully Bianca, would be able to understand. Then he pulled up a stool next to Bianca, and garnering her attention as best he could, he compassionately asked the question that would forever alter her life, her future with Lena. "Bianca, I know this is difficult for you, but I need you to tell me what happened. Okay? I understand that you may not be able to give me details, but I need you to answer one question for me. Do you think you can do that?"

Nodding a positive affirmation, Bianca's body trembled in terror.

Lena watched her closely, and moved in to caress her arm.

Bianca flinched at the unexpected touch, and Lena drew back. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," she quietly apologized. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm going to touch you again. Okay?"

No response.

Lena moved back toward Bianca, making contact with her arm again. Then she slowly stroked Bianca's hair back from her face.

Dr. Martin continued, "Bianca, were you…" he stopped; feigning the need to clear his throat. In reality, he needed a moment to work up the courage to finish his question. Even after his many decades of experience as a physician, this question was never easy; and the difficulty of asking the question of this young woman was compounded by his genuine affection for her. After swallowing hard, and drawing in a deep breath, he hesitantly continued, "Were you raped?"

Silence.

Deafening silence.

Almost the sound of death.

Dr. Martin searched Bianca's eyes. The once innocent, doe-like eyes of this extraordinary young woman were now…

Eyes… brimming with terror.

Eyes… laced with shame.

Eyes… that spoke the only words he needed to hear, as a single tear silently trickled down her face.

Dr. Martin nodded verification, as tears began to fall from Lena's eyes. It was one thing to know what had happened, by way of some ominous notion, but to have it confirmed for her, here in this place, by this man she knew Bianca trusted, was almost more than she could endure. She braced herself, and prepared to be Bianca's source of strength.

Confirmation received, Dr. Martin explained to them the process involved in completing a rape kit. Then, the process thoroughly explained; he left the exam room, to retrieve the kit and a female nurse, as required by law… and to give the two of them a few minutes alone.

After Dr. Martin took his leave, Lena bent down; placing soft kisses on Bianca's temple and cheek as she whispered softly in her ear. "Kocham Cię, Bianca. I love you… so much. Don't worry, my Love. We'll be okay. I promise. We'll work through this together."

This time, her assurances were greeted with a torrent of tears. Their tears now intermingling, Lena reached out and cradled Bianca in her arms, once again.

Several minutes later, Dr. Martin returned to the exam room, nurse in tow. He dispensed a mild sedative to Bianca, issued a few gentle words to Lena, and the most difficult part of the examination ensued.

TBC in Chapter 2: The Reticence…