AN: my English teacher said my storeys are vary good but that they are kin of "beige" (in her words adn i had to ask her how to spel it to) aden said i need to pot more sensory descriptions into them so I'm going to try these out.
i wrot this for my Friedn she loves foll-metal alchemist. i read a little of it and i like it too but i havent read vary mach yet because I'm kind of bogged down of late ;) loll
anyway so here is the storey! PS its kidn of short but i forgot my freidns birthdaya nd i wrorte it for her on the bus on the way to school lol :)
On day Scar is killeng the state alchemeysts. He gets to on who he couldent bring himself to kill. He has soft straw berry blodned hair and emeraldd eyes taht glistened like stars on a velvet blue infirmament.
"Are yuop going to kill me are not" said ewdwared and scar said
"I am gong to do so much worse to you my dear boy" and then scar rapes edward.
Then on day may-chan gett kindap by the humonculs.
Al said to Ed "we need to save may-chan from the humonculuses" says al
but scar adn yoki also wanted to save may-chan!
On the way to the humunulouses house the two -parties came up to eachother. Ed loked at scars reddy eyes with his own lilac ones and said,
"you raped me scar" and scar said
"becouse you were handsom" said scar and ed left
yoki said "that is not how you attract the pbject of your desire. you have to be goo.
so yoki was teaching scar to be good. they stayed in. a hiotel and it was hard for scar to be a good person but he thout about eds deep chocolate eyes and he remembered why he wanted to be good was be cause he was in lov. one day yoki went up to takwe a bath
Yoki comed down from to the rom were Scar was and he was something horible! Scare was rapeing people left and rite! Yoki said:
"I can not leve you alone for a minute Scar without you geting into troble and makeing things hard for everyone else!" but scar was stoped rapeing already becaouse he saw yki coming out of the bathtob! their was a toewl raped around yokis waste but he was wereing no other close! Yokis flawles taned skin glistened wth beady water breads and his firms strong muscles ululated udner his skine and made the water breads glsten more and drip and water beading on them in the glistening alchemey lites. Scare was destacted and his face went :O and he got a nosebl;eed that squited crmson desre down his schirtfront! Scar said
"Yoki I'ms sorrey it mts be so hard for you takeing care of me and makng it so i can be goo d in my own thank you Yoki" adn he stoped rapeing everyone
Yokm was surprosed but not disbelieving bcuz his harth n mind was too open and foll of lov for that and he understod that ppl could change if they wanted to be good and to lov one another and scar was no exception even thouh he was evil adn he raped people and did bad stuff he was still a person and he still diserved the benefit of th doubt plus there was a burrning sincerity in his eyes like passionat colas of fire and ash.
"Scar you are makeing progress scar" he said "and son you will be good person i promise it" and all of the rape victims left
scar said "Yoki i want moar than 2 be good. i want to be yuor boy freidn"
"Oscar" aisd Yoki
"I lov you to but yuo alredy aplologized to ewdard" Juts then Ewdard walkedin the roum.
"Scrar! It's OK! I dicovered that i loiv yuo from when you rape me and I don't midn sharing you with Yoki!" Scar loked at yokis strong tanes mussely from and at edwards sorft gentle cerulian eyeballs and he felt so moved that his hart melted. then ascar and ed and yoki all made lov with eachother and they wrre three boyfriends and lived hapiley ever after the enmd.