Disclaimer: Nope, no claiming here. Just borrowing for entertainment and being mean to Soul-kun. x3
Spiders Are for Pussies
All Hallows Eve...it was dark and stormy outside. The moon was full but it still wasn't enough to pierce through the thick veil of clouds that shrouded the stars. The great thunderheads flung menacing tridents of white-hot flame at the hapless city below, rain and merciless hail the size of golf balls hurtling towards the ground in search of unfortunate fools...
...which was why our little group of unfortunate fools was cooped up inside the small apartment belonging to Maka and Soul for the night. Most of the group—Maka, Tsubaki, Black*Star, Liz, Patty, and Kid—were hanging out in the living room, while a very humiliated Soul was in the kitchen, bustling around in a frilly apron. It was his turn to do the dishes tonight, so the others had the advantage of him being out of the room while they concocted a plan for a little "scare Soul" prank.
"Maybe we could put a snake in his bed before he goes to sleep," Liz suggested, an evil smirk on her face. Maka frowned.
"What if it bites him, though...?"
"Maybe we could try bats?" Kid suggested. "Bats don't bite."
"Yeah, but where are we gonna get bats?" Liz questioned.
"Well what else could he be afraid of?"
"He says he isn't scared of anything," Black*Star said. Maka scoffed.
"I don't believe him. There's gotta be something." She thought for a bit.
"Well," Liz said, "let's start by listing common phobias. There's always snakes."
"Spiders," Black*Star suggested.
"Bugs in general?" Kid said, shuddering.
"Clowns," Maka added.
"Um...feet?" Patty tried. Liz shook her head.
"How about darkness? A lot of people are afraid of the dark."
"Soul can't even sleep if his room isn't completely dark," Maka said.
"Well..."
Suddenly, there came a scream from the kitchen. The strange thing is...it was a girl's scream. The shriek was dragged out, accompanied by crashing and banging. The group all looked at each other wide-eyed.
"Was that Soul?!" Kid asked incredulously.
"Yeah...I think so," Maka muttered.
"Let's go check it out!" cried Black*Star, leaping up and heading towards the kitchen. The others followed behind him. What Maka saw there made her raise an eyebrow. The pots and pans that had been stacked on the stove were strewn across the floor, along with soapy water and some glass, and Soul was curled up in a fetal position against the wall opposite the sink. He rocked back and forth, eyes wide and body trembling.
"Uhh...what the hell, Soul...?" Maka asked slowly.
"Are you okay?" Liz queried.
"Something scare you—" Black*Star started, but Soul's too-quick response cut him off.
"NO! I just..." he looked away, then curled up into a tighter ball and muttered, "fucking spider crawled out of the drain."
There was silence for a little bit. Then, Black*Star burst out laughing, despite the red-eyed scowl and the greasy soup pot thrown his way. He started walking towards the sink, guffawing "Oh my God, I was right! Soul's afraid of spiders! Pahahahaha! Spiders! Soul, let me tell ya man, you are such a—OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT IS THAT?!" Black*Star had reached the sink, but stopped abruptly, backpedaling quickly. His eyes were the size of dinner plates. "ARE YOU SURE THAT'S A SPIDER?!" he yelled.
"Not really," Soul answered meekly. Maka rolled her eyes. She walked bravely up to the sink and examined the spider in question: a rather large wolf spider. Sighing, she looked at the boys with a smirk.
"Let me show you pussies how it's done."
With that, she grabbed a jar and scooped up the spider. She threw it down the disposal and turned the water on high, aiming the faucet down the disposal. Then, her facial expression not changing, she flipped the switch.
Whiirrrr-crunch-crunch-CRUNCH-SQUISH-CRUNCH-SQUISHSQUISH...
As the horrible crunching went on, Black*Star paled, then turned green, then turned around and thrown up, only just missing the trash can. Soul just stayed white, although he did feel relief that the spider was gone...right? There wouldn't be any angry zombie-wolf-spiders coming back to get him in his sleep...right?!
Maka flipped the switch off and swiped her hands together, as if dusting them off. She tossed the jar back in the sink and looked at Soul pointedly.
"Now you just need to wash that jar and-"
Soul began a nervous giggling, then stood up and threw the frilly apron onto the table.
"Yeah. Right," he laughed. "Fuck that; you can stop taking my turn when I'm out of therapy!"
He started walking into the living room and Maka shook her head, smiling.
"Well, I know what I'm going as tomorrow night..."
A/N: Hahaha I had to! xD So that was just a cute little one-shot to be mean to Soul-kun. x3 Review please! And stay tuned!