Matters of the Heart

by QueenoftheFireflyFilledNights

Love is a fickle thing…and you can’t control it no matter how much you try. It’s a wild, untamable beast that traps you in a corner and never releases you. Matters of the heart are hard to ignore. Oneshot.

Matters of the Heart

I have started way too many one shots. This is for Ruri-chan.

The title of this came from the title of a video made by one of my favorite people on YouTube. The song she uses is by Sum 41, I think its 'Goodbye'. The video is really cool and I like the video clips and the voice clips she mixes together in there.

Oh…Ruri-chan, I'm guessing you like ARR. Kurosora1984 has a fic called Untouched that's ARR. So I not only give you a fic, I give you a recommendation. I hope you enjoy both.

And I know that I should be brutally attacked for taking so damn long with this but to be totally honest with you…it would not be what it is if I hadn't. Because now life experience is getting to pepper my fics and give them a sense of realism previously impossible to achieve. So I hope you find it worth it when you read this.

Oh! Random thing! If you get bored and restart KH2...you know the bit where the Nobodies stole pictures on the first day and they stole the word? I want you to substitute the word 'photo' with the word 'porn'.

Summary: Love is a fickle thing…and you can't control it no matter how much you try. It's a wild, untamable beast that traps you in a corner and never releases you. Matters of the heart are hard to ignore.

DiZ-claimer: I own Kingdom Hearts like unicorns exist: only in my mind.

Warning: The usual from me. Today's abuse victim is Selphie, and it's brief. I feel a little guilty about that but I can't keep abusing Kairi. I'm fond of the seventh Princess of Heart.

Roxas Hale sighed as he was dragged to sale after sale by his brunette girlfriend, Selphie Tillmet exclaiming in delight. She had woken him at the ungodly hour of nine in the morning, demanding he go shopping with her as she had for the past month every Saturday. And since she refused to let him hang out with his old friends it wasn't like he had any excuses as to where he could be otherwise. He was still allowed to see Naminé Sinclair though because she was Kairi's little sister and you can't bar your boyfriend from hanging out with your best friend's little sister if they're friends and it's completely platonic. Or at least, that's what Naminé said. It was some ridiculous girl world rule he gathered. Roxas wasn't about to complain about it though because at least he had one person he could hang out with who didn't demand he carry the ninety bags filled with her purchases. The worst thing Naminé did was make him look at art and talk about Marluxia Aizawa, who he was also friends with, thus making it not as bad as most would assume.

"Let's go get lunch," he suggested finally, his hands aching as he readjusted his grip on the bags. He heard a heavy, put-upon sigh and prepared himself for the onslaught.

"Roxas, I'm on a diet. I can't lose weight if we eat lunch and I'm not sitting there while you eat! You could afford to lose a few pounds anyway!" Selphie informed him and Roxas resisted the urge to glance down at his torso to see if that last assessment was true. "I can't join the cheerleading squad if I'm too heavy! Don't you want me to join the squad Roxas?"

"Of course Selphie, I'm sorry. I forgot," he said reflexively, mentally banging his head against the wall in hopes of killing himself. Why was he dating her again?

"Selphie! Roxas! Hey!" Called a voice and Roxas turned around as Selphie did. Oh yeah, that was why.

"Kairi!" Selphie squealed and Roxas wondered if everything she said ended in an exclamation point. He rewound their conversations thus far and decided that it was a solid eighty percent. The next time Kairi asked him to be the rebound guy for one of her friends, he was killing her. He didn't care that she and Naminé were like sisters to him-Kairi more so since she was dating his older brother-he was going to kill her.

"I thought you guys might be here and then Sora mentioned you dropping by earlier than usual Selphie so I thought I'd look for you guys," Kairi explained, smiling. Roxas nodded tiredly, perking up a little when he saw who was tailing the slim girl. Selphie also noticed and her smile fell the slightest bit, although it was imperceptible to most. Just because Selphie didn't like Kairi's older brother-and, coincidently, Roxas' best friend until she showed up-didn't mean she would show it. Only her close friends-by choice or by a favor to big brother's girlfriend-could tell that she had changed her expression to the disapproval that she reserved solely for one Axel Sinclair.

"Axel had to drive me here," Kairi said, smiling up at her brother as he came to stand behind her. "Sora was busy and Mom's...predisposed."

Read 'predisposed' as 'drunk'. Probably why Axel had a black eye and a split lip.

"Naminé's looking for art supplies," Axel said smoothly, taking a few of Selphie's bags from Roxas. Selphie didn't appear to approve of this but she wouldn't protest in front of Kairi. "Marluxia and Larxene are keeping an eye on her." If Selphie had looked unhappy before, she looked downright miserable right now. "Riku's down there too." Selphie perked up, looking a little less unhappy about the change in plans at the mention of her current crush. Roxas almost threw his arms around Axel for that, immediately forgiving him for bringing his girlfriend and Naminé's boyfriend with him.

"Let's head that way then," Selphie said, linking arms with Kairi while Axel and Roxas hung back.

"Hey, Larx and I broke up," Axel told Roxas, who started.

"Wha?"

"Larxene broke up with me," the redhead said, green eyes dancing with amusement. "She's got a thing for someone else and decided we would be better off as just friends."

"Oh," Roxas said, almost bouncing at the news but putting on a proper face of sympathy. Yes, he and Larxene Misaki were close buddies-if Naminé and Kairi were like his sisters than Larxene was his sister. However it had unsettled him when she had told Roxas that Axel had asked her out but he had still snuck out to go celebrate with her, ignoring Selphie's bar against hanging with his friends. He always went if Larxene called.

"Dude, don't look so down," Axel said, laughing. "I was cool with it. Hell, I was thinking about breaking it off with her. She just beat me to the punch."

"That's our girl," Roxas said, grinning. The group they were part of-four boys and two girls-always referred to Larxene and Naminé as 'our girls' while they referred to Axel, Marluxia, Riku and Roxas as 'our boys'. "So, did you find out who you were dumped for?"

"Fuck no, Larx wouldn't tell me," Axel said, sighing. "But if you weren't busy being whipped, she would tell you."

"Ah, but as you said," Roxas said with a smile. "I'm busy being whipped."

"Thanks to Kairi," Axel muttered viciously under his breath and Roxas laughed. Axel was the one with the biggest problem with the ban.

"Get Riku to ask her out and she won't remember I exist," suggested Roxas, smiling widely. Axel appeared to consider this as they made their way to the escalators. "So, are you going to transfer somewhere else for college?"

"I'm staying here," Axel said, to which Roxas nodded.

Destiny Islands was in no way big despite being a grouping of three islands, the biggest of which was Daybreak Island, where most people lived and worked. Some of the more influential lived on Stardust, the reason it was so rare to see Riku Togu outside of school back when he was in high school not too long ago; taking the ferry back and forth took half an hour each way and it was a dull trip he had made every day during the week. During childhood they had seen him every day after school since everyone had played on the island between the two, a small island called the Isle of Innocence.

Stardust housed mansions and sprawling lawns but nothing else. It was home to the mayor and his family, the town's architect, the dean of the college, his wife and adult son, an elderly lady who had lived there since the founding of Daybreak and Riku's family. Riku's parents were partners and lawyers with Jenova Records and Shinra Music, rival recording companies that needed a mediator for their combined jobs and artists. Riku said that Rufus Shinra was absolutely insane and that he wouldn't be surprised to learn that Sephiroth of Jenova was a serial killer.

Daybreak was a different story completely. One half of the island was occupied by two story houses with manicured yards and one car garages. The rest of Daybreak held the economy of the mall for most people. The island had two McDonalds, a Starbucks, a Taco Bell and a Dunkin' Donuts outside of the mall. There was a rundown bar on the north end of the island near the college, which was a mile from the high school with its one hundred students. The middle school and the elementary school were closer to the housing division, probably designed that way to reassure parents that their children were nearby and in very little danger. Daybreak Island was small and inconsequential to the world, located between Hollow Bastion and Traverse Town. Most of the ambitious graduates went to Hollow Bastion University or even Radiant Garden University but very few of the students who planned on doing more than what they could on the island left the Destiny Islands for more than a brief vacation.

"I'm looking at my choices," Roxas said softly as Selphie saw Riku and went to chat with the star of DICC's basketball team. "I want to still see you if I stay here though. Can we hang out if I don't leave?"

"Well, if Selphie doesn't still have you under lock and key, yeah," Axel said, dumping the aforementioned brunette's bags on the ground near the fountain. "Have you heard back from RGU or HBU?"

"Both," Roxas admitted. "I got accepted."

"Of course you did," Axel said, laughing a little. "You're too smart."

"Will you miss me if I go?" Roxas asked as Axel sat on the fountain's rim, looking down at the redhead.

"Shouldn't you ask everyone else that?" Axel asked, gestured to their friends.

"You're my best friend," Roxas said. "I want to know about you first."

"I'd miss you," Axel said, grinning. "But hey, you'd email me right? And you'd come home for break."

"I guess," Roxas said, sitting beside his friend. Larxene had noticed him as she, Marluxia and Naminé emerged from the candle store and she was hastening over to the petite blond as fast as she could weighed down with bags. She dumped them in Axel's waiting arms and gathered Roxas up in her arms, looking unhappy.

"Axel said you applied to RGU and HBU," Larxene claimed, looking bitter. Axel and Riku were going to be starting their junior year at Destiny Islands Community College while Larxene and Marluxia would be sophomores. Larxene would never admitted that she didn't want to see her group broken apart but she was anxious about it ever since Marluxia had been fence sitting the idea of transferring to Hollow Bastion University where they had a better selection of majors. They had known for years that Marluxia wanted to travel the world, that he had only stayed because he had been dating Naminé the past six months and Larxene, whom he had been with since the day Marluxia had moved in across the street, had begged to stay at least a few semesters.

"I'm sorry Larxene," Roxas said. "But you know better than anyone I'd be miserable here."

"I know," she said, sighing.

"She's extra depressed because I finalized my transfer yesterday," Marluxia added as he fell into the spot next to Axel, dragging Naminé with and wrapping an arm around her.

"What about you Naminé?" Larxene asked, looking utterly miserable. "Are you leaving me too? Am I going to spend my life alone with the pyro?"

"I'm going to stay here," Naminé said with a smile. "I'm getting my masters in fine arts. Not exactly a profitable area but I'm hoping to double major. I have to scrounge up the money though since my mother is also putting Kairi and Axel through school on what she made from dad's death."

"See?" Marluxia said, elbowing his best friend when she finally sat down, Roxas remaining on his feet to look for Selphie. "And Riku is still here."

"If Sora left Riku might," Axel pointed out. "He isn't is he?" This bit was directed at Roxas since Sora was his brother and, until Kairi had started to date him, Riku's best friend. Roxas had disliked Riku up until that point when Sora and Kairi began to shut their friend out, more concerned with each other than with him. And so Roxas had extended the hand of friendship to the silveret and now Riku was one of them, not one of Sora's little lackeys like Selphie, Tidus and Wakka, who Larxene had dubbed the Happy Crew.

"I don't think Riku would go if Sora left now but he plans to stay here and continue going to DICC with his princess," Roxas said, using his and Naminé's name for Kairi. "Mom doesn't want me to leave but I insisted and once I'm gone she'll forget I exist. She only really ever liked Sora."

"So your mind's made up?" Queried Axel, looking as though he was fighting off a pout for all his acceptance of Roxas leaving earlier.

"I think so," Roxas admitted. "But I think it'll be an adventure and you guys always knew I wanted to leave the Islands."

"Riku'll probably wait until he graduates to ditch us anyway," Larxene pointed out. "He wants to be free; he feels trapped by everything and…I can't say I blame him. He might decide to transfer though now that you're going and Marluxia is too."

"It's only Hollow Bastion," Roxas said, patting her arm gently. "It's not like I'm moving somewhere really far away like Twilight Town or Land of Dragons."

"Yeah," allowed Larxene as Selphie came over with her hand clamped around Riku's arm like a vice, the silveret glaring at them for letting his stalker know his whereabouts. "It's only Hollow Bastion."

XxXxX

"I'm so excited!" Selphie squealed to Kairi, adjusting Naminé's cap and gown. "Do you think maybe Roxas and I will get serious tonight?"

"I don't know Selphie. I mean…its Roxas. He's probably not going to take your relationship further because it's graduation," the redhead said, trying to be firm as she helped her sister get ready. Naminé sat perfectly still in her chair, never budging as though worried about reminding the pair that the girl they were readying to graduate was a close friend of the subject of their conversation and would know what plans Roxas had if he had any.

Five minutes before he walked across the stage Roxas found them and pulled Selphie aside.

"I know we talked about my plans after graduation at least once," Roxas began sternly, because Selphie rarely paid attention when he spoke while she expected his undivided attention when she was talking. "And since I'm leaving I got to thinking…Selphie, I'm sorry but I can't keep seeing you."

As Roxas had anticipated, she threw a fit and made a spectacle of the whole thing to the point Roxas left her there, which upset the brunette even more. And she couldn't confront him with her friends watching at the party Sora and Kairi were throwing Roxas and Naminé, despite both saying they had other plans. They expected their siblings to ditch their friends and attend the party they planned and waited impatiently for them to show. Neither Roxas nor Naminé went to the party.

Instead they went to the party Axel, Larxene, Marluxia and Riku were throwing them. It was a wild night and Axel and Larxene went back to Axel's despite the fact they had broken up three weeks prior. Naminé ended up at Marluxia's even though they had agreed that they didn't want a long distance relationship and had aspirations for friendship. Roxas walked home drunk and was met by Sora on the porch, the brunette surprisingly grim.

"Selphie told us what happened. How could you do that to her?" Sora asked, looking so mad Roxas almost hated him. "I mean, I know she has her faults and that she didn't let you see your friends but we all thought that was for the best, even Kairi. I mean, you hang out with delinquents and she can't very well be dating a delinquent or a friend of the neighborhood gang-"

"I was dating Selphie because your fucking girlfriend asked me to!" Roxas finally interrupted, making Sora pause mid-tirade. "Kairi insisted I be her buddy's rebound. And you know what, I like my friends. I don't care what you say about them, you don't know them. And you used to be friends with Riku-fuck, he's with us cause you and your fucking princess dropped him like he was a bomb after you got together. You two suck."

"And how do you explain missing our party?" Sora asked quietly, tight lipped.

"I told you I wasn't part of the Happy Crew and that I wouldn't be here. So did Naminé," Roxas said, turning to head back down the driveway. Sora looked ready to stop him but he never actually moved, he simply let his brother go and Roxas was both grateful and angry about that.

All this resulted in Roxas waking up in Riku's apartment on the couch, covered by a thin sheet and burdened with a hangover from a night he didn't want to remember. Riku had class today but he'd made his special hangover remedy and would check up on Roxas after class was over. The blond liked this idea and curled up on the couch under the blanket with a bowl of chocolate ice cream, donning Riku's DICC t-shirt and throwing his vomit scented clothes in the washer like he normally did after a party and he wound up in one of his friends' apartments. Riku had managed to afford his own apartment so he had no worries about his roommate like with Axel and Marluxia but instead he had to fight off the constant loneliness that threatened to swallow him as he thought back to last night.

"Roxas, I'm back," announced Riku around three, poking his head into the living room. Roxas was awake and reading one of Riku's books, the air conditioner blasting despite how little he wore. Riku licked his lips as he considered how little of Roxas was covered by the thin material, scolding himself for eyeing his onetime best friend's little brother that way.

Riku had known he was gay since he was a senior in high school but he was by no means 'out of the closet' or comfortable with the fact. He would get upset when he caught himself staring at other men and lately, that particularly man was a mere boy, not even eighteen yet. Not that Riku considered himself an expert of anything, but he liked to think he was well learned in psychology and he had been toying with the idea of following Roxas and Marluxia to Hollow Bastion to further his education and keep him close to Sora's younger brother while getting away from the older brother. Riku was not a happy person and recently his friends had begun to take notice, enough that Larxene suggested he see the doctor about it. She had not relented until Riku had confessed to her what was upsetting him so; he was gay and he had a crush on the boy he thought he should view more as a sibling. Larxene had been surprised but she hadn't seemed disgusted and later admitted that a few months earlier Roxas had admitted that he would be willing, if not more so, to date a man rather than a woman. Riku took this as encouragement and had been trying to work up the courage to tell Roxas about his wish to take their friendship to a different level.

"Hey Riku," the blond greeted, book marking his place and getting up. "How was class?"

"Good. I talked to the teacher about transferring actually-since Marluxia admitted he was going the ideas been stuck in my head," Riku said, watching Roxas carefully for any signs of unhappiness at this news. He was grateful that Roxas not only appeared receptive of the idea, but he seemed to agree that it was best for Riku. The silveret knew he should probably let Sora know Roxas was safe, or at least tell Roxas' mother, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Roxas' company as the afternoon faded to evening.

"Larxene's going to have a fit when she finds out it's just her, Axel and Naminé," Roxas said as they walked to the corner store, Space Paranoids. Roxas had exchanged Riku's shirt for his now clean clothes and Riku was almost sorry at the lack of skin exposed.

"She'll get over it," Riku said as they reached the entrance, pulling one of double doors open and holding it for Roxas. "It's not like she didn't expect it on some level."

"True," Roxas said as they neared the counter where the cashier, Tron, was busy chatting with Sora of all people about the new lunch special. He cut off the discussion when he saw Roxas and Riku, punching at buttons to awaken the ancient register.

"What can I get you guys?" He asked as he fiddled with the money box and finally declared it operational. Sora glowered at the pair as they ordered, but Roxas ignored his brother and Riku followed the blond's cue. As they were leaving Sora made to stop them but the waitress who was mopping the floor accidentally tripped the college student and sent him sailing across the slick floor.

Roxas announced that he was going to Hollow Bastion that night at dinner. His mother locked herself in her bedroom and called him selfish as she cried herself to sleep while Sora silently left the house. He stayed the night at Kairi's but his mother didn't scold him and Sora didn't make excuses the next morning. The next week Roxas packed his things and took the next boat to Hollow Bastion with Riku and Marluxia.

Hollow Bastion was a large city in contrast with Destiny Islands and the three were amazed at the hustle and bustle of downtown where they rented an apartment together for the duration of the summer. The paint was peeling from the walls to reveal patches of mold, the water was ice cold and smelled of rotten eggs and the single bedroom was large enough for one bed, or as the boys decided, three sleeping bags. Roxas got a job a music store with a bright neon sign outside happily proclaiming it The Usual Spot where he made friends with the girl who worked his shift as well. He considered dating her briefly but, as he was discovering lately, he had no interest in her beyond a platonic relationship. Besides, Olette had a crush on one of her friends although both Hayner and Pence picked her up every day after her shift. The three had moved from Twilight Town to Hollow Bastion for college since they were like what Riku, Sora and Kairi had been so long ago; best friends who couldn't stand to be apart. Roxas envied the innocence they still had that his Riku, Sora and Kairi had lost and almost hoped that Olette didn't decide to date one of them.

Riku took up a job at a café near The Usual Spot to pay his portion of the rent and made a point to walk the block between Tea Time Café and The Usual Spot everyday around the same time as Hayner and Pence to pick Roxas up as they collected Olette. Riku was a little concerned by the presence of this new girl on what he considered his territory and warily asked Roxas if he planned to ask the pretty brunette girl he worked with out. Riku liked Olette much better when Roxas said no.

Marluxia got a job in a flower shop called the Queen's Roses between Shinra Music's recording studio and a cheap bar 7th Heaven where the trio usually took their meals. A lot of the hired muscle for Shinra Music wandered in during artists' recording sessions, required to guard them from the public, not their contract. A few of the men even recognized Riku from their boss' excursions to Stardust Island to either escape his bodyguards or to bicker with Sephiroth about Jenova for one reason or another. One such guard was a lanky redhead with slashes under his mischievous blue eyes that reminded Roxas of Axel's purple diamonds under his staring green eyes but whereas Axel reminded him of a court jester this guy seemed more like a man who fancied himself a badass and failed epically.

"This is Reno," Riku introduced the fifth time they saw the bodyguard lounging by the bar, Riku having invited him to their table this time along with Reno's friend Rude. "Reno, Rude, this is Marluxia and Roxas."

"A pleasure to meet such a cute little thing in a place like this," Reno said flirtatiously, taking Roxas' outstretched hand and kissing the back of it rather than shaking it. He did the same to Marluxia although Riku imagined that Reno lingered a little on Roxas'. He hoped he was wrong and that that was Reno simply attempting to be charming.

"So you get to guard Melodious Nocturne?" Roxas inquired as they ate since Reno was going over the list of people they were usually keeping an eye on.

"Oh yeah, Melodious is around our age so he prefers Rude and me," Reno explained as he twirled his straw with his fingers. "I mean the kid is really friendly and all, but he can get shy at the weirdest times. I think he goes to HBU too though, so you might run into him and not even know it. I think he'll be a sophomore."

"But he's like the coolest musician ever," Roxas said, to which Marluxia seconded as he bit into his hamburger.

"I can get you his autograph," offered Reno and Riku decided then that he didn't particularly like the way Reno's eyes flittered over Roxas' slim body. They had to go after that but Reno promised to stop by The Usual Spot with the autograph the next day and Roxas said he looked forward to it. Later that night while Roxas was at 7 Eleven buying cigarettes, candy and sodas Riku told Marluxia he didn't like Reno's flirting with Roxas.

"Tell Roxas," suggested Marluxia, who was always rather straight-forward about things involving his friends. Some people might consider this a fault but when combined with the fact that Marluxia had a tendency to listen to people and see their problem from a different perspective he was considered a good man to ask for advice from. Riku was hesitant to follow this path but in the end he decided that it was the best course of action and when Roxas returned from his 7 Eleven run he pulled him into the hall.

"Roxas," Riku began steadily, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I think I have a crush on you."

"You mean you like me," Roxas said, seeking clarification that Riku gave with one short nod. Roxas seemed to think this over for a few agonizing moments before he smiled. "You've always been very kind to me Riku." He took Riku's hands and pressed a light kiss against the silveret's cheek. "I think I would like to try being your boyfriend."

"Thank you," Riku said, cupping Roxas' face and kissing him briefly on the lips. Roxas tasted like cherries and cigarettes.

They stayed in the hall for a few minutes, exchanging hesitant kisses and cautious touches. Riku shook with every kiss, gently pressing Roxas against the wall as he held the blond's waist, Roxas' hands resting lightly on Riku's shoulders. He had dropped the bag on the table upon coming home and he'd left his Slurpee beside it so Riku had no worries about adding to the series of mysterious stains that decorated the carpet of their hall. He wasn't even sure what its proper color was anymore.

"Riku, oh Riku," Roxas breathed against Riku's lips, tightening his grasp on Riku's shoulders. Riku grinned and pressed a light kiss against the other boy's cheek, trailing light kisses down Roxas' jaw to his throat.

"Hey guys, Sora's on the phone-oh."

Riku pulled away when he first heard Marluxia speaking but there was no mistaking the way he was pressed against Roxas or the hazy look in those beautiful blue eyes that Riku positively adored.

"Thanks Marluxia," Roxas said, red-faced as he bypassed Marluxia and ducked into the apartment, leaving Riku alone with their pinkette roommate who looked a tad shocked. Riku was starting to get concerned when a grin crept up Marluxia's face and he narrowed his eyes.

"I told you to tell Roxas," Marluxia reminded him triumphantly and without further ado returned back into the hellhole that was their apartment, leaving Riku to reflect on the oddities of the people he knew. Roxas, on the other hand, was busy talking to his brother, who was still trying to persuade Roxas to go home rather than go through with this 'ridiculous' plan.

"Sora, I'm staying here. I really like it and I can't wait to start school," Roxas said, curled up on the couch with the cordless phone the landlord had installed upon their request. Riku sat beside him, timidly taking Roxas' hand and twining their fingers together.

"Roxas, Mom and I are worried about you," Sora protested. "You could do whatever you have planned here; you don't need to be in Hollow Bastion to get a good degree."

"I know. But I'm staying. I'll see you guys during winter break, we agreed to come home then," Roxas reminded his older brother, watching Marluxia disappear into the bathroom for his shower. They had debated the possibility of the mold in the shower being sentient, something that had Axel rolling on the floor during his Saturday phone calls to his best friend. Naminé and Larxene were usually with him and talked to the three in Hollow Bastion during Axel's calls since it was long distance and 'fucking expensive' to use Larxene's phrasing.

"Have you decided a major yet?" Sora asked waspishly and Roxas' mouth tugged down.

"No," confessed the blond. "But I've been researching my options and I've narrowed down my choices."

"Mom'll be happy to hear that," Sora said, making it sound as though he had checked up on Roxas every day. Roxas wanted to start laughing at the tone in Sora's voice considering this was the first time Sora had called in the month that he, Riku and Marluxia had been living in Hollow Bastion.

"I'm sure. How's Kairi?" Roxas asked, deciding to get off the topic of their mother. She and Roxas had never gotten along very well after his and Sora's father had walked on them when Roxas was fourteen.

"She's good," Sora said, although Roxas knew he wanted to talk about their mother. Sora had a theory that Roxas had become friends with Axel because he knew it would upset their mother and while it had been a winning point for the redhead, it wasn't the reason he'd started talking to the guy. "She and Naminé miss you."

"I know Naminé misses me. She tells me every Saturday when Axel, Larxene and her call," Roxas said slowly.

"I didn't know that," Sora grumbled. Roxas could practically see him itching the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Kairi said Axel's almost finished fixing his car."

"He told me it's just a matter of a few parts," Roxas said, smiling a little when Riku's thumb started to massage the back of his hand, ignoring Marluxia as he slipped out of the bathroom and onto the fire escape. "And Larxene was telling me her and Naminé were spending most of their time on Isle of Innocence after work."

"Yeah, Kairi told me about that. She says Naminé gets home late and it's a bit of a pain in the ass when her mom wants to know where she is," Sora said.

"That sucks," Roxas said, shrugging. Riku pressed a gentle kiss against the hinge of jaw. Roxas' fingers clenched around the phone and he shivered.

"Yeah…so found a girlfriend?" Sora asked and Riku paused, close enough to hear Sora's question.

"No," Roxas said causally. "I'll talk to you more when we come home for break, okay?"

"Okay," Sora said, taking a deep breath. "I'll see you soon. Take care Rox."

"You too Sora," Roxas said, hanging up. He put the phone back in the cradle and curled up next to Riku.

"Do you want to tell him during winter break?" Riku asked, pulling Roxas a little closer by their tangled fingers.

"That's when we should tell him," Roxas agreed, nuzzling noses with the silveret. "We have to tell him sometime."

"And it is better to do it face to face," Marluxia said from the fire escape where he was smoking. Roxas nearly jumped; he hadn't heard Marluxia get out of the shower and climb onto the fire escape.

"Much better," Roxas said. "Mmm, I'm going to bed."

"Night Roxas," Riku said, kissing his forehead. Marluxia waved, taking a drag. Roxas slipped into the bedroom and the Marluxia grinned.

"Well that was relatively simple, wasn't it?" He remarked, tapping the end of his cigarette on the windowsill.

"I thought for sure he would say no," Riku admitted, joining Marluxia on the fire escape.

"It doesn't always have to be difficult Riku," Marluxia said. "Larxene's gonna insist on having a party or something. She'll be psyched."

"Yeah, I can't wait to tell her," Riku said. "I told her beforehand about how I felt and she told me to go for it."

"I bet she thought you wouldn't have the balls to do it," Marluxia said, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"I didn't think I would do it," Riku said, smirking. "I thought you promised her you'd quit smoking."

"This is my last," Marluxia said, waving the cigarette. "I stole one of Roxas'."

"He should quit," Riku muttered.

"Leave him alone," Marluxia said, nudging the silveret. "Kid has enough stress, let him have his little vices."

"I'm supposed to complain," Riku said, grinning. "I've watched Roxas grow up since he was like four."

"That's horrible," Marluxia said. "I wouldn't date you if you knew me so long."

"It's not my fault you have something against staying in one place. Fuck, you've lived everywhere now, haven't you?" Riku retorted and Marluxia gave him a playful shove, putting out the cigarette.

"I've live in Wonderland, Land of Dragons, Destiny Island and Hollow Bastion. That's four places, hardly everywhere," Marluxia said, shrugging. "Besides, I like to travel."

Marluxia had been born in Wonderland and grown up in Land of Dragons. Shortly after he entered middle school his parents divorced and his father had uprooted them, taking his son to Destiny Island where Marluxia had gone to high school and done part of his college time. His father had been hesitant for him to relocate to Hollow Bastion but in the end Marluxia knew it would be better for them both; Marluxia looked remarkably like his mother in a masculine way and he knew his father had hated looking at him. Marluxia had never even known why his father had been the one to take him other than the theory he had developed at the age of five; his mother didn't love him, she didn't love either of them.

Riku, on the other hand, had been born and bred on Destiny Island. He had never been far from his parents or the island but he desperately wanted to be free of the restrictions imposed on an island community and it just seemed so right to go to Hollow Bastion. There was nothing tying him to Destiny Island other than Sora and Kairi but they no longer wanted him; leaving had been far less painful than he had anticipated.

"I've never been so far from the Islands," Riku whispered, looking out at the city. "I envy you."

"I don't know," Marluxia said, head tilted back. "I think it's the only place left where you can really see the stars. I sort of miss it. But I want to see the rest of the world before I decide to go back." He turned back to Riku, wearing a grin the silveret hadn't expected. "I want to see Wonderland more than anything. I can't remember a thing about it. I wasn't even one when we moved."

"I'm sure you'll make it back there someday," Riku said, sighing as he looked at the sky. Marluxia was right; you couldn't see the stars.

"Wanna go to bed now?"

"Yeah, let's," Riku said, pushing away from the rail he had been leaning on and slipping back through the window. Marluxia followed him, turning the lights off behind them as they headed to the bedroom, both curling up in their sleeping bags on either side of Roxas.

XxXxX

Olette was the first person Roxas told about Riku. She was startled but she accepted him still, completely at ease with Roxas' preferences. The blond had been delighted that Marluxia wasn't the only person who believed he was an okay person even if he was dating a guy and he was anxious for Saturday to tell Larxene since Riku had admitted to telling the blonde girl about his crush and he knew Larxene had not been disgusted when he himself had said that he was getting less and less interested in women. Larxene hadn't really been all that surprised since the last girl he had been with an any sense had been his sophomore year at one of Axel's party, a black haired girl who had stayed at the school for less than a year, her eyes an unnerving shade of blue and her mood nothing short of apathetic.

"So when are you going to tell your brother?" Olette asked after their morning rush as she tapped the counter with the book she had been perusing for her literature class in hopes of an early start.

"Probably the next time I see him," Roxas admitted, cracking his bubble gum. He really wanted a cigarette. Sora and his mother had that effect on him. His dad was the only one who had managed to be worse than either of them at eliciting Roxas' cravings. "I'm gonna try to ease him into the idea so he doesn't flip out on me. He drives me crazy but I don't want to drive my only brother off."

"Yeah, you'd probably regret it if you did that," Olette said, glancing up when the door jingled to signal the arrival of a customer. She made a shocked noise and dropped her book, making Roxas glance at the person now occupying the doorway. He had blond hair, spiked almost as much as Sora's, and wore sunglasses even though he was now inside. He also seemed to have an unhealthy love of turtlenecks, considering it was a hundred and rising outside.

"Oh my God, he's hot," Roxas breathed, devouring that clear skin and lithe form.

"You have a boyfriend," Olette pointed out, practically leaping over the counter in her attempts to offer assistance to the attractive man. After a few minutes of chatting she reappeared beside Roxas, sulking.

"Gay, taken or really a zombie?" Inquired Roxas and Olette rolled her eyes at the last option and held up two fingers, to which Roxas nodded.

"Lucky bitch," Olette said, sighing. She turned to Roxas curiously. "So Hayner decided to head back to Twilight Town."

"Is Pence staying at least?" Roxas asked, concerned; they lived in the same sort of neighborhood as Roxas and if Hayner and Pence weren't watching Olette he'd walk her home every day, no matter how out of the way it seemed. There were gangs wondering that area after dark, drug dealers and prostitutes roamed the corners seeking prey. He hated the thought that Olette would be mistaken for one or the other or even get caught in a drive-by shooting.

"Of course," Olette said, blushing. "Pence has always been protective of me."

"Good, I worry about you," Roxas said and Olette smiled.

"Likewise," she said as Mr. Beautiful and Unobtainable approached the counter with the silence of a cat, making them both nearly jump out of their skins when he said, "How much is this?"

The rest of their day was uneventful up until an hour before the end of their shift when a man who wore his long red hair in a ponytail and drew attention to his roguish blue eyes with crimson slashes beneath them strutted in. Roxas sat up a little straighter, grinning despite himself.

"Reno!" He called and the man turned to him, thin lips curving into a seductive grin.

"Hey Roxas," Reno said, leaning against the counter. He nodded to Olette, who looked dazed as she gave him a little finger wave. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Olette Nomura. Olette, this is Reno, he works as a bodyguard for musicians contracted through Shinra Music," Roxas introduced, turning his attention back to Reno. "So what are you doing here?"

"Someone wanted to go record shopping and I remembered you worked at a place that sold the older stuff, records included," Reno said, winking as a boy whose blond looked like the lovechild of a mullet and a Mohawk sidled over. He wore the latest fashion and designer glasses concealed his eyes, but Roxas could immediately guess who this was.

"Hi," the blond said, grinning. "I'm Demyx Izawa."

"Roxas Hale and Olette Nomura," Roxas said, extending a hand to shake Demyx's, as did Olette. "Are you…"

"Famous? Unfortunately," Demyx said. "Reno said you wanted my autograph and I did want a new record…I know, totally old school but old school is all the rage." He glanced over his shoulder to reassure himself that no one had overheard them and to find Reno, who was now perusing the rock section. Roxas almost let his curiosity lead him to find out what Reno liked. He bet it was something similar to Axel-they both had red hair, playful eyes that made his stomach do flips and a penchant for facial tattoos. Who knew what else they had in common? "I think he's doing it to impress you though. He seems to think you're really cute. Not like I disagree or anything but he seems to be approaching getting into your pants with a determination that I haven't seen him display before."

"Oh," Roxas said, flushing. "I, uh, have a boyfriend actually. Riku Togu."

"No shit," Demyx said, grin widening. "I met him briefly like once. His parents were majorly boring. He had pretty hair, is he going to school here?"

"Yeah, him and another friend of mine, Marluxia Aizawa," Roxas said, tucking a few stray flaxen strands of hair that hampered his ability to see. "You're a sophomore, right? Marluxia is too."

"No way, for real? Awesome!" Demyx gushed, clapping his hands together. Roxas decided then and there that Demyx was a people person and probably the sweetest guy you would find this side of the equator.

"Yeah, if you can escape sometime, I'll introduce you to him," offered Roxas and Demyx seemed to ponder some way of doing this.

"You could always take an escort to their apartment," suggested Reno, leaning against the counter again suddenly. "By the way, could you ring this up Roxas?"

"Sure," Roxas said, taking the CD, glancing at it before scanning it. "Ragnarok? My best friend totally digs these guys! Isn't this their latest?"

"Yeah," Reno said, grinning. He looked impressed that Roxas had actually heard of them. "I pegged you as a Melodious junkie."

"Oh I love Melodious Nocturne," Roxas said, winking at Demyx who snickered. "But I also love Ragnarok, The Dusks…I'm also a complete sucker for The Nobodies."

"No shit," Reno said, nodding with his lips still curled into a smirk that was nothing if not seductive. "You know, being connected to the company that all those people are contracted to kind of presents the opportunity for scoring free tickets."

"For real?" Roxas said, jumping when Olette kicked him under the counter.

"That would make for a good first date for you and Riku," she said and Roxas blushed.

"Hey, I can get tickets to Ragnarok's next gig," Reno said. "They have a Saturday show in a couple weeks. Riku likes them, doesn't he?"

"I don't know," Roxas admitted, face going a deeper shade of red. "We've never really discussed our preferences in music."

"Well, if he does dig the group, give me a call," Reno said, taking the pen Demyx had been playing with. He took Roxas' hand in a firm grip, flipping it palm up and wrote his number across the blond boy's wrist. "It should be nearly impossible to accidentally wash this off. Demyx, get them their autographs, we've got a recording session to be at in five minutes."

"Shit, I forgot," Demyx muttered and scribbled his name and a quick note across a picture for both Olette and Roxas. "See you guys sometime. I'll be back."

"Later Terminator," Roxas said, saluting the star and his bodyguard. Once they had disappeared outside Olette gave him a look.

"What am I going to do with you?" She asked, shaking her head.

"What, he's hot! And he was totally hitting on me! I couldn't help it!" Roxas protested, looking helpless. He felt a little guilty about the flirting but Reno practically demanded he flirt with those eyes. They didn't continue their conversation since Hayner, Pence and Riku walked in then, the latter with his hands in his pockets, the former two talking about Hayner's plans to return to Twilight Town.

"Hey Olette," Riku greeted the brunette, leaning over the counter and giving Roxas a peck on the cheek. "Hey Roxas."

"Hey Riku," Roxas said, returning the kiss. He lifted his head to the other arrivals, smiling. "Hey Hayner, Pence. I heard you're going back to Twilight Town Hayner."

"Yeah," Hayner said. If the displays of affection bothered him he showed nothing. "My mom's all alone back there and I promised her I would come back if she really needed me and she called last night. She's not doing so well."

"I'm sorry to hear that, good luck back in Twilight Town," Roxas said, slipping out from behind the counter. Riku took the blond's hand in his, tangling their fingers.

"Thanks," Hayner said before turning to Olette. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Olette said, following Roxas around the counter. She caught Roxas' arm before he slipped out of the store with Riku. "Hey, don't forget to call Reno about those tickets. It would make a good date."

"Oh yeah, thanks Olette," Roxas said. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"See you," Olette said and Roxas left, Riku still holding his hand.

"What was that all about?" Asked the silveret, glancing over his shoulder as they made their way to 7th Heaven to meet up with Marluxia for their usual after work dinner.

"Reno stopped by with Melodious Nocturne and he was telling me how he could get tickets to most of the shows for Shinra Music artists. I told him I liked Ragnarok and he offered to get us tickets to their next gig," Roxas said, glancing up at the sky. "So Olette thought I should find out if you liked Ragnarok so we could go out on a date."

"I like Ragnarok," Riku said, his thumb rubbing the back of Roxas' hand as they entered 7th Heaven. Riku didn't really like the band but he knew Axel and Roxas had loved them and he wasn't about to turn down free tickets for a date.

Marluxia was already at 7th Heaven, sitting at the bar talking to the owner, one Tifa Lockhart, originally of Midgar, who had relocated to Hollow Bastion with her best friend Aeris, the beautiful woman selling flowers in front of the bar. There was no pair odder than Tifa and Aeris this side of the equator in Roxas' professional opinion; Tifa wore black leather and left her long straight dark brown hair down, Aeris wore soft pink skirts and kept her curly light brown hair in a braided ponytail. They weren't the most likely friends but they were some of the very closest and no one ever doubted that they would do anything for each other. They kind of reminded Riku and Marluxia of Axel and Roxas in terms of oddness and believability about their relationship.

"Tifa!" Roxas yelled when he saw her, waving frantically with his free hand. Tifa waved back, smiling at the petite blond as he dragged Riku across the bar to where Marluxia and Tifa sat.

"Hey boys," Tifa said, taking in their clasped hands. "Looks like I need to break out the good stuff."

"Come on Tifa, we just started dating," Riku said, wrapping an arm around the blond's shoulders.

"Well, congratulations," Tifa said, lips curved in a smile. "You make an adorable couple."

"Not homophobic?" Marluxia asked, taking a sip of his coke.

"Oh, no one I know is homophobic," Tifa said, getting Riku and Roxas cokes. "Midgar, where Aeris, Zack, Cloud and I are from, had a district where anyone with preferences to the same sex could hang out and be protected. We had a few friends down there and we liked to visit them."

"I've never met Cloud or Zack, where do they work?" Riku asked, accepting his soda.

"Cloud owns his own business, Strife Delivery Service, which he runs out of the back room of this bar. I think he actually went by the Usual Spot to get a CD. He's got blond hair and-"

"Absolutely gorgeous?" Roxas inquired, remembering the attractive man he and Olette had been bickering over.

"I've heard those terms used to describe him. Give me a second," Tifa said, heading into the back. She came after a few minutes with a picture of a blond man standing beside Tifa and Aeris, a black haired man with blue eyes standing on Aeris other side.

"Yeah, that's the guy," Roxas said, pointing to the blond. "He's cute."

"Yeah, he and I have been together for about two years. Zack and Aeris have been together since we were in high school," Tifa explained, smiling.

"He seemed kind of quiet," Roxas recalled, taking a drink of his coke.

"Cloud's always been quiet. Zack's the louder one," Tifa said, mouth turning up in a grin. "Oh, I guess Aeris is done for today."

A brunette woman gracefully walked across the bar, bright green eyes fixed on the group talking to Tifa. She had a basket of flowers still hung over one arm and looked happy to see Tifa's guests.

"Hello boys. How have you been today?" Aeris said, placing her basket on the bar. Technically she worked for the Queen's Roses with Marluxia but she preferred to walk around with flyers and flowers.

"Great, get any business?" Marluxia asked as Tifa got Aeris an iced tea.

"A little," she said, taking a delicate sip of her drink.

"Aeris, we're celebrating the new couple," Tifa told her, clapping both Riku and Roxas on the shoulders. Aeris eyes lit up and she lowered her glass, lips glistening from the moisture.

"That's wonderful!" Exclaimed Aeris, gasping when a man with black hair appeared and kissed her on the cheek. Riku recognized him as the man in the picture beside Aeris.

"This is Zack," Tifa said, gesturing his way. Zack raised a hand in greeting and wrapped an arm around Aeris with a smile.

"Who is the happy couple?" He asked and Tifa waved her arms towards Riku and Roxas, introducing them and Marluxia, who was beginning to look a little bored now that they were on the topic of relationships. Roxas felt a little guilty for hogging all the attention but with every new arrival it seemed Tifa had to announce them.

"Hey Tifa, we're gonna go sit down, can we have the usual?" Roxas said and she nodded, leaning into the back to yell at the cook as he and Riku found a table, Marluxia following close behind them. As they sat down the pinkette gave Roxas a grateful grin, the only sign he gave to acknowledge that Roxas had saved him.

They ate a quick dinner and headed back home after paying for their food, Roxas calling Reno to tell him that Riku did indeed like Ragnarok. Reno promised to find him the next day and get the tickets to him, in the process reminding Roxas that it was Thursday and that he only had two days until it was Saturday and he received the call that put a smile on his face no matter how shitty the rest of the week had been.

XxXxX

Predictably, Larxene though it was awesome that Roxas and Riku had gotten together. Naminé had been a little more reserved in her judgment in a sisterly sort of way but by the end of the conversation Roxas was sure she approved. Axel, on the other hand, had been downright upset. Larxene later called Roxas (despite the price of the call) and informed him it seemed more like jealousy than homophobia but Roxas was sure she was wrong; Axel was a skirt-chasing, women loving kind of guy and he just couldn't possibly be gay. Axel called Sunday and asked Roxas when his classes started, sounding pleased to hear they still had two more weeks to go. He informed Roxas that he would see the blond soon and hung up with a quick goodbye. The rest of the week was blissful; Riku growing bolder with his kisses and touches with every passing day. Marluxia began lingering after work with Aeris, chatting about flowers and the various meanings behind the different kinds. Reno had given Roxas three tickets to Ragnarok's show, informing the teen he would be there as well and that if he wanted backstage to see Melodious Nocturne, who was opening for Ragnarok, he'd be happy to sneak Roxas in.

"So we're going to see Ragnarok tomorrow?" Roxas asked Riku, perched in the other boy's lap. Marluxia had agreed to go out for a few drinks with Zack, Aeris, Tifa, Cloud and their friend Yuffie, Riku's coworker at the Tea Time Café. Roxas suspected the last one was their attempt at a hook-up but he doubted Marluxia suspected the set-up. Still, it gave Riku and him time alone and he really didn't want to complain about the lack of the usual worry that Marluxia would walk in when they were getting somewhere.

"Yeah," Riku said, his hand playing with the hem of Roxas' shirt. He wanted to go further with Roxas than before; tomorrow was their three week anniversary and Riku wanted to know how it felt have Roxas beneath him, to be in him. "Maybe we'll have to make the most of this auspicious occasion."

"Maybe," Roxas said, kissing Riku teasingly. The silveret slide his shirt off carefully, fingers cautiously exploring Roxas' sides as the blond draped his thin arms around the other boy's neck, still kissing. Roxas began removing Riku's shirt when the older boy started kissing his neck, making little noises of pleasure in the back of his throat when Riku's teeth grazed his skin.

"Fuck you're so hot," Riku breathed, head jerking up when they heard a knock at the door. He turned to the blond in his lap, Roxas as startled as he. "Who the fuck is that?"

Roxas shrugged and Riku pushed him out of his lap, fixing his shirt and heading to answer the door while Roxas yanked his own shirt back on. Riku expected several different people when he swung the door open but he definitely didn't expect Axel to be standing there, looking slightly abashed and…as though he had hopped the ferry after his last phone call.

"Hey Riku," Axel said casually, smiling as easily as he always did. "What's up…other than the obvious?"

Riku must have looked confused because Axel jerked his head towards Riku's lower body and the silveret realized that he had not completely calmed from his previous activities when Roxas ran past him.

"Axel!" Cried the blond, throwing his arms around Axel's thin waist. The redhead wrapped his arms around Roxas and hugged back, looking pleased by Roxas' reaction.

"Hey Rox," he said. Riku wondered how far off Larxene's assumption that Axel was really jealous was. Because Axel looked so much calmer than how he had sounded earlier on the phone. "How are you?" Asked the tall redhead, cupping his best friend's face and studying Roxas' features as though memorizing that familiar face. "Riku and Marly taking care of you?"

"Yes," Roxas said with a laugh. Riku wondered if Roxas knew that he looked absolutely beautiful when he smiled like that. Problem was, Riku knew that smile-it was the smile Roxas reserved for Axel and only Axel. He could date Roxas for a thousand years and he would never smile like that for him.

"What the fuck, I leave for a few hours and you're outside mobbing-Axel!" Marluxia paused mid-tirade and threw his arms around the redhead, speaking so quiet and quick none of the first three people standing outside the apartment they shared could understand what he was saying. Finally the pinkette invited Axel in, complaining about Riku and Roxas' obvious lack of manners.

"What are you doing here Axel?" Marluxia finally asked as he made coffee for everyone, Roxas sitting between Riku and Axel with a wide grin on his lips.

"I just couldn't stay away from my best friend," Axel said, sipping at his first cup of coffee, nudging Roxas' thigh with his knee.

"I'm glad you came Axel," Marluxia said as he brought the second pot of coffee out. Riku was on his fifth cup. "You can go with Riku and Roxas tomorrow. The guy who's trying to steal Roxas from Riku got them Ragnarok tickets."

"Fuck me, he's got my vote!" Axel said, hesitating as he pumped his fist in the air and turning to Riku. "No offense Reeks. I just have a monumental weakness for Ragnarok tickets, heaven help me if they're free."

"None taken," Riku said, not at all insulted. He was too hyped up on coffee and he was starting to think Axel was the dangerous one. That and Axel had called him Reeks. Axel hadn't called him Reeks since high school. He'd always been a push over for the nickname. The way the redhead said it made it seem more affectionate than if someone else did.

"Riku's not worried. Reno's cute but he knows I'm not gonna hop into bed with him just because he can score good tickets," Roxas said, placing a hand on Riku's. "And I'm sure that's all Reno wants."

"Reno…isn't he that one bodyguard who used to always stay with Rufus? The jackass Shinra said looked like he could be my twin?" Axel said with a frown, looking displeased.

"Yeah, that one," Riku said. "Slashes under the eyes, hair longer than yours and just as fucking bright. Reno has blue eyes though. And his waist isn't quite so…"

"Slim?" Supplied Marluxia as he stirred sugar and cream into his coffee.

"Anorexic seeming?" Offered Roxas as he took a drink of his coffee. Axel glared at the blond and elbowed him in the ribs, smirking when Roxas had to suck in a sharp breath.

"I'm not that skinny," protested Axel, lighting a cigarette. Marluxia practically tossed him towards the fire escape, startling Roxas and Riku. They followed Axel though, Roxas' leaning against Riku as he leaned against the windowsill.

"Nah, it's the hips that really make you look so fucking girly," Riku added, arm around Roxas' waist. Axel leaned over his best friend, hitting Riku in the shoulder.

"I'm going to bed," Roxas suddenly announced, looking at the clock. "I have to get up an hour early to make up for leaving early."

"Night," Riku said, kissing Roxas before releasing him. Axel enveloped Roxas in a tight hug before wishing him a good night. Riku watched Roxas go, Marluxia following soon after, grumbling about ninjas and perverts. Axel kicked his legs across the empty space, eyes narrowed as he watched Riku. Finally Riku deemed it an appropriate time to voice what he wanted to.

"Keep away from my boyfriend Axel," Riku hissed. Axel looked startled and just the slightest bit confused.

"What? Reeks, he's my best friend-"

"Make sure that's all you are," Riku said dangerously, heading to bed. He slipped into Roxas' sleeping bag with the blond, who mumbled a few protests before shifting to accommodate the unusual addition. Axel took Riku's sleeping bag, watching the couple snuggle beneath the cloth as artificial light seeped in through the blinds, making long rectangles across their bodies. Axel wasn't sure why it broke his heart to see slim fingers curled around each other on top of one of the sleeping bags. He just knew it did.

XxXxX

"Oh my God, oh my God-"

"Rox, please, shut the hell up," Riku said, watching the blond bounce on his heels. Axel smiled, glad Marluxia hadn't wanted to come. Ragnarok was his favorite band but he was inexplicably happier to be able to see them live for the first time with Roxas. Because it wasn't as good without Roxas. He almost groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to pick at the feelings from last night. He'd spent the entire day alone doing that and he fully intended to relax right now and not think about Riku touching his Roxas-shit, when had he started classifying Roxas as his? They were just friends. Best friends.

"But we're gonna see Ragnarok live!" Roxas squealed, clapping his hands. Riku rolled his eyes with a smile, eyes drifting down to Roxas' tight jeans with various holes in them. Olette had helped him pick them out and Riku was sure she had been thinking of him when she'd pointed them out because Roxas looked so fuckable Riku was having a hard time keeping his hands off.

"That's no reason to be jumping and screaming," Riku said, wrapping an arm around Roxas waist. The blond stilled and wrapped his arm around Riku's waist, smiling up at the silveret.

"Hey Axel, are you sure you're going to be okay being without anyone to hang out with really? Riku and I aren't exactly good company…" Roxas said and Axel chuckled.

"I'm good," Axel said, lighting a cigarette. He was looking around though, eyeing the girls who passed as they waited for the arena doors to open. 'Don't think about how Roxas is what you want. Shit. Think about the next hot blue eyed blonde you see…as long as they have boobs. You can only think about the female ones.' "I'm just fine."

"You can chase any old girl you want," Riku said, laughing. He'd been perfectly friendly to Axel since last night. The redhead almost didn't believe his silver haired friend had said that…except when he saw how Riku watched him when he was too close to Roxas. "I'd stick to the ones who aren't going to be clinging to you by tomorrow morning."

"And ones who you can find your way back to our apartment," Roxas added, kissing Riku. "It would suck if you got lost."

"I'm more worried about the clingy part. The last clingy thing I found hasn't let me go yet," Axel said, ruffling Roxas' hair. Riku's eyes flashed.

"Hey, I'm not that clingy!" Roxas protested, pouting.

"Nah, you aren't," Axel admitted as Reno strutted over, eyes intent on Roxas. He paused when he saw Axel, lips curling into a frown at how close Axel was to Roxas...both physically and emotionally.

"Well hi," Reno said, sneering at the other redhead. "Nice to see you Roxas, Riku."

"Hey Reno," Roxas said as Riku grabbed his hand and tangled their fingers. "Thanks for the tickets."

"You're welcome," Reno said with a grin, taking Roxas' free hand and pressing a kiss to the back. "I expected you to bring Marluxia though…"

"Oh, this is Axel, my best friend. He's visiting from Destiny Islands. I mentioned him right? The guy who likes Ragnarok a lot?" Roxas said as Axel extended his hand, mouth twisted in a smile that was anything but friendly. Reno took his hand, shaking Axel's hand firmly.

"Yeah you mentioned him," the bodyguard said to Roxas, turning to Axel. "I'm Reno; the guy who provided the Ragnarok tickets."

And who plans on fucking your best friend six ways to Sunday.

"Nice tickets," Axel said, nodding. "Hey Roxas, I'm gonna go look around at what this town has to offer in the way of women. I'll be back before the concert starts." He headed off in the direction Reno had come from, stopping beside a woman with cropped blond hair.

"He'd better watch it," Reno said. "Elena plays hard."

"She a friend of yours?" Riku asked as he checked his watch.

"Co-worker," Reno said. Roxas squealing in joy.

"It's starting!" Roxas said, startling the pair. Axel came back over, Elena following behind him. She looked Roxas over curiously, pointing at him and mouthing something to Reno, who nodded.

"Here, I'll lead the way to your places," Reno said, taking Roxas' free hand and tugging him and Riku along. Elena grabbed Axel by the arm, following the trio in front of them. Reno took them close to the stage in a secluded corner where Demyx was standing, wearing sunglasses and a jean jacket.

"Roxas! Hey," Demyx greeted, waving. He almost pushed his sunglasses up when Elena caught his wrist, reminding him that he was in a public place and that he shouldn't remove his only disguise.

"Hey," Roxas said, grinning. "Aren't you going to be starting things off?"

"Yep," Demyx said, extending a hand to Riku and Axel. "Hi I'm someone you might know but I can't say my name since Elena thinks people will freak."

"I'm Riku, Roxas' boyfriend and this is Axel," Riku said, gesturing to Axel as he introduced him.

"That's Axel, A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" Axel said, making Demyx laugh.

"Nice catch phrase," the musician said and Roxas snorted.

"I thought you quit using that fucking phrase," Roxas said, watching the stage.

"Couldn't help it," Axel said with a smile.

"I gotta go," Demyx said after Elena tapped her watch. "I have to be on in ten and they have one last check on make-up and stuff. Elena, are you going with me or is Reno?"

"Reno's off. I'm watching you and Rude and Tseng are keeping an eye on the Ragnarok guys," Elena said, taking Demyx's upper arm in her hand. "Let's go."

"Elena, can I get a coffee after my set?" They heard Demyx ask as Elena towed him off to the backstage.

"Jesus, I'm glad I'm not working tonight," Reno said, making a face.

"Isn't Rude usually your partner?" Riku asked the redhead as Roxas tried to find a good spot to see. They were close to the stage but he was so small he still had a hard time.

"Yeah but I specifically asked for Ragnarok concerts off when I started this job," Reno said, rolling his eyes at Roxas' antics. "We can get closer if we need to."

"I can't see that close to the stage. Or the little I can see I'll have to break my neck to. It's ranked right up there with looking Axel in the eye," Roxas said, Axel's mouth twitching. It had been their joke from day one. "Fucking tall people."

"Hop on shortie," Riku commanded, kneeling so Roxas could climb onto his back. Roxas cautiously latched his arms around his boyfriend's neck as Riku hooked his arms around Roxas' legs, the blond resting his chin on his shoulder.

"Better?" Asked Axel, rocking on his heels. Roxas smiled and nodded his confirmation, kissing the silveret on the cheek.

"Thanks Riku," he said.

"Just please don't scream in my ear," Riku said, bouncing Roxas' a little higher as he slid. Reno and Axel rolled their eyes, both knowing that Riku was asking the impossible. They were at a rock concert. How do you not scream at a rock concert?

"So," Reno said as they watched the pair, trying to look like he wasn't talking to Axel. If he did this, he had to do it carefully. "You're the best friend."

"Don't even try to flatter me to get to him; Riku never bothered, I hardly think you should have to," Axel said, ignoring Reno's obvious desire to be inconspicuous.

"You sound awfully jealous for being just his best friend…that was all I wanted to say on the subject," Reno said. "I have no intention of flattering you to get to him. I don't need to."

Axel decided that he preferred Riku's veiled threats to Reno's blatant confidence. And then he wanted to kick himself. He shouldn't think about Roxas like this. He knew that. And yet-

"Axel, Reno, it's starting!" Roxas called, twisting to grin at Axel.

And yet he had been wrestling with this since that fateful day in the cafeteria. Because that smile and those eyes were parts that made up the person he couldn't live without.

Melodious Nocturne, now disguise free, took center stage. He played one song much to the disappointment of his fans. Axel wasn't big on Melodious Nocturne but he could easily recognize the song Demyx had played; Nobody Longing to be Somebody. It was Roxas' absolute favorite song of his and Axel had listened to it so many times at Roxas' house he had memorized every word. But he loved the chorus.

I…am Nobody.

All I long to be…

Is Somebody.

I have no heart

I have no right

Existing on

Borrowed time

Could you loan me your heart?

So I no longer have to be

A Nobody

Longing to be…

Somebody…

"I love this song," Roxas said as Demyx ended, a lazy smile climbing up his lips.

"Really?" Riku said in surprise.

"Yes," Roxas said as Ragnarok took the stage. "It's beautiful."

Axel smiled his agreement, watching the members of Ragnarok take the stage. Ragnarok played their latest hits to screaming fans, Roxas eventually slipping off Riku's back and backing up a little for a better view. Riku took his hand and followed, leaving the two redheads alone. Roxas glanced back over his shoulder at Axel and Reno, forgetting them when Riku tugged him into a more secluded corner.

"Riku?" Roxas whispered, startled when Riku simply kissed him.

"I want you to come with me tonight," Riku said quietly, Roxas leaning against the wall behind him.

"You…what?" Roxas said, confused by Riku's phrasing.

"Roxas," Riku said softly in his ear, licking the shell teasingly. "I want to have sex with you."

"Oh," Roxas said in disbelief, cheeks reddening. "Oh."

"There's a hotel nearby and I kind of hoped…that you would want to too," the silveret explained as he licked suddenly dry lips, cheeks red as well. He kept his face buried in Roxas' neck as opening chords of Ragnarok's Oblivion shredded the silence, waiting for his boyfriend's answer.

"Okay," Roxas agreed, surprising Riku. He leaned in and kissed the silveret a little bit deeper, sighing into the mouth so willing to take his. "I want to have sex with you too."

"I promise to make you feel good," Riku said, arms around Roxas' waist.

"I can't wait," Roxas breathed in his ear, making Riku shiver in anticipation.

"Let's go back so Axel and Reno don't come looking for us," he breathed.

"In a second," Roxas whispered and then Riku dipped down, engaging Roxas' mouth in a passionate kiss. The blond groaned as Riku thrust his hips against Roxas, his head falling back as Riku rolled his hips. "Fuck me," Roxas gasped, hooking a leg around Riku's.

"I will," promised Riku, moving to kiss Roxas' exposed neck. "It'll be so good…so good…"

"Hope I'm not interrupting but Axel was getting a little worried," Reno said, making the entangled pair jump and try to remove themselves from each other. Riku managed to back away but nearly knocked Roxas over in the bargain, the blond gasping when Reno caught him before he hit the ground. "Careful there sweetheart…you're gonna get roughed up enough later from what I'm seeing."

"Reno!" Roxas said, smacking the redhead's arm as a blush enveloped his face. "I can't believe you said that!"

"Says the guy who was wrapped around Riku," Reno said with a smirk. "I'm right in saying you two aren't heading home after this, aren't I?"

"Ragnarok concerts make people horny," Riku retorted, grabbing Roxas' ass. The blond yelped and covered his posterior, frowning at his boyfriend.

"Hey Reeks, that may be true but no one wants to watch you two at it," Axel said as he shouldered his way through the last two people, rolling his eyes.

"What, jealous Axel?" Riku asked sarcastically.

"Not really," Axel said, smirking.

'Because if I wanted Roxas, all I would have to do is ask.' Neither of them said it but both Riku and Axel knew it was true.

"Anyway, Ragnarok's got one more song before it's over. Did you wanna see Demyx before you go?" Reno asked as Riku wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist from behind and kissed his cheek.

"Sure," Roxas said, smiling. He turned to Axel, who was still making faces at Reno. "Hey Axel, will you be all right getting back to the apartment after we see Demyx?"

"I can always hang around for the after party," Axel said, smiling as he heard the sound of Heartless. He twisted to Reno, still smiling. "Can't I?"

"Sure you can," Reno said. "I'm not the one in charge of that shit. At least not tonight. Elena's the one you have to butter up."

"I could have fun with that," Axel said, leaning against the wall beside Riku. He didn't see the frown that flitted across Roxas' face at that.

But Reno did.

No heart of your own

Searching for someone else's to steal

Creep through the shadows

Envelop the light in darkness

As you remain Heartless

"We should start towards the back," Reno said, taking Roxas' hand again. Riku quickly grabbed Roxas' other, leaving Axel to follow and feeling very much like an unwanted part of the group. He still followed, holding on to the hope that he would maybe get laid tonight. Somewhere in the back of his mind some part of him whispered that yes he would, but Riku would be the one getting laid by the one he wanted.

'Straight,' Axel insisted to his own mind, pretending for five minutes that didn't sound insane. 'I am straight. I like girls. He's my best friend. I can't like him. I won't like him.' Axel glanced up, just as he had every time in the past four years he couldn't talk himself out of it, to see those lovely, dark blue eyes. Roxas was smiling at Riku but it wasn't that mega watt one he reserved for Axel. 'He's my best friend…and I can't cross that line. No matter how much I want to. No matter how sweet it would be.'

Roxas was quickly dragged into a suffocating hug by Demyx, who was squealing like a pig about to be sent to slaughter except a bit happier. He released the blond after a few moments when Elena coughed, her eyes venturing over to Axel when Reno mouthed something to her. She didn't look too happy but she nodded and Riku, the only one who caught the exchange, could easily imagine that Reno was trying to use his co-worker to get at least one road block on the way to getting Roxas. Now the question was, how did Reno plan on getting rid of him?

"We're gonna go," Riku said after what he deemed an appropriate length of time, desperate to get inside of Roxas. He wanted to have some claim on the boy and yet he had so little he doubted it would take much for Reno to snatch Roxas out from under his nose at the moment.

"Ah," Demyx whined pouting. "Oh well. See you soon?"

"Come by the store again," Roxas suggested, waving goodbye to the assembled as Riku dragged him off. They had walked to the arena and so there options were limited in the way of places to go but Riku had planned this earlier and picked out the best looking place. Roxas stayed quiet as Riku lead them to a rundown little establishment called The Rabbit Hole, his suddenly sweaty fingers tangling with Riku's. Riku checked them into one of the rooms, waiting until they were climbing the steps to speak.

"Sorry Rox that I can't do any better for our first time," Riku said, squeezing Roxas' fingers.

"That's okay," Roxas said, wetting his lips. "Uh, is this…your uh, first time with a boy?"

"Yes," Riku said, fumbling for the key as they drew nearer to the room. "You?"

"Yes," Roxas whispered as the door swung open, revealing a bed with rumbled sheets and a mirrored ceiling. Riku winced, letting Roxas into the room as he jerked the key out of the lock, glancing at Roxas at every available opportunity. The blond took a seat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with one of the shredded holes in his pants.

"So uh…." Riku said nervously, chancing a look at Roxas once more. The blond had gotten to his feet and was now approaching Riku, hesitating when he was standing in front of the silveret.

"Kiss me Riku," Roxas breathed, eyes half shut as he leaned on his tiptoes. The silveret shivered at the command and slipped his arms around Roxas' waist, kissing the petite blond in his arms. Roxas sighed and moved to grasp Riku's shoulders, pulling him towards the bed. They fell on the mattress, Riku on top of an already hazy eyed Roxas, rocking his hips impatiently against the smaller boy. Roxas groaned, his head falling back to expose his neck as Riku pushed his shirt off and moved to kiss Roxas' belly.

"Riku," Roxas moaned, hooking his legs around Riku's as the other man climbed more fully on top of him. "Oh Riku."

"Stretch your arms above your head," Riku instructed, watching Roxas obey. He ran his hands up Roxas' upper body, following with his tongue as Roxas groped for the hem of Riku's shirt. He stripped the garment off of his boyfriend and pulled Riku down for a kiss, jerking his hips when Riku slipped his hand down Roxas' pants to stroke his semi-erection.

"Yes," Roxas gasped, arching off the bed a little more. "Oh please Riku, don't stop."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Riku whispered in his ear, pressing a gentle kiss to the hinge of Roxas' jaw. Then he slid further down Roxas' body, intent on driving the beautiful boy beneath him crazy with pleasure.

Back at the concert's venue Axel was getting set to go with Demyx, Elena, Rude and Reno to The Gulliwings, Demyx's favorite club. Since he was good buddies with the owner Yuna, Demyx could get in and out of The Gulliwings without any hassle.

"Mr. Shinra helped Yuna get the club started," Elena explained as they clamored into the waiting limo, watching Demyx. "So she's always willing to help. She suggested Demyx right out of high school and he just couldn't resist talent like Demyx's."

"So The Gulliwings is your favorite hang for that?" Axel asked as Elena scooted a little closer to him.

"Yep," Demyx chirped, bouncing on the seat until Reno reached across Rude and flicked him on the nose.

"Stop it Demyx," the redhead said, turning to Elena. "Where the hell is Tseng?"

"He's casing the club and forewarning Yuna," Elena informed Axel, crossing her legs and accidentally hiking her pencil skirt up a significant amount. The redhead let his eyes wander and yet he couldn't bring himself to wonder about under the skirt. Instead he noticed that Elena was blonde. Like Larxene. And every other girl he had dated. There was probably only two girls who weren't blond that he had dated and they had lasted a very short while.

'When did I start dating blondes?' Axel thought and had to fight not to stiffen when he realized the answer.

--"Hey," the blond boy said, dropping into the seat across from Axel. The redhead looked up, raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah," the blond said with a fake, sweet smile. "Can I sit here so I don't have to sit with that brunette kid?"

Axel craned his neck, looking for the 'kid' the boy in front of him was referring to.

"Sora? Everyone loves Sora," Axel said, although from the look on his face he didn't.

"I don't," replied the blond. "I'm his brother Roxas. And I'm fucking sick of him treating me like a child."

"Hey Roxas," Axel replied. "I'm Axel."

"I think you and I are going to be good friends," Roxas said smugly. Axel somehow knew the little brat was right yet he couldn't find any anger in him. Roxas was just too amusing.--

'Ah,' Axel thought. 'That's when.'

"What's up with you?" Demyx asked quietly as they were exiting the limo and Axel bit his lip.

"Worried about Roxas," he said. It was a half truth but Demyx didn't need to know that.

"Did you two date?" Asked the musician curiously as they slid in through the back.

"No, I'm…straight," replied Axel, wondering why it tasted like such a lie on his lips. He didn't like other men, just one. Roxas was the only boy he had ever looked at and desired like he did a woman. And he wanted Roxas far more than any faceless woman he knew next to nothing about, not when he had Roxas who he had known for four long, wonderful years and couldn't imagine living without knowing. He had never looked at his other male friends that way, never wondered what Marluxia's kisses would be like, never let his eyes stray over Riku's lithe body and he had never looked at Sora as a substitute for what he wanted. Marluxia was pretty in a masculine way with his pink hair and teal eyes but so was Riku with his long silver hair and piercing aquamarine gaze. But Axel couldn't even force himself to think about them; he had tried and somehow he'd found himself jerking off with Roxas in mind. The first time he'd been horrified that thoughts of his best friend had aroused him so much, the second time he had felt guilty but by the eighth time he'd acknowledged in his mind that Roxas was the only person who could turn him on so fast and so badly. And Riku was with Roxas right now, doing the things Axel had only allowed himself to think about in the dead of night alone.

"You don't sound sure," Demyx said innocently. "You know, Roxas looks at you differently from the way he looks at everybody else."

"I thought you'd only known him for a few days," Axel asked sharply and Demyx nodded.

"I have. But sometimes an outsider notices more than the insider. And no matter how you try and deny it, you look at Roxas differently too," Demyx said before catching up with Elena, who was tapping her foot as she waited for him to hurry.

"I need a drink," Axel decided as they entered The Gulliwings.

XxXxX

Roxas woke up the next morning sore all over, snuggled against Riku's chest. Riku was still sleeping, lips parted as he slept through the alarm he'd set the night before so they could go home early. Roxas traced Riku's features with his fingertips, watching in fascination as the silveret leaned into his touch. He was going to lay back down when he realized how sticky he still was and instead pushed himself up. Roxas let out a gasp as pain shot through him, nearly rendering him immobile. It took a few minutes for the stabbing ache to fade to a dull ache and once it did the blond teen gritted his teeth, standing despite the renewed pain. His back hurt, his ass hurt and his neck hurt but knowing why they did didn't make him hurt any less as he shuffled to the bathroom and into the shower. Halfway through his shower, when his legs were about to give out, Riku entered.

"Hey," the silveret said from the other side of the curtain.

"Hay is for horses," Roxas retorted. "Do you want to come in?"

"Can I?" Riku asked, startled when Roxas pulled the shower curtain back. Riku swallowed hard as he stared at the dripping body still standing beneath the spray, remembering how that pale body looked bowed when Roxas was in the middle of his climax.

"You know, there shouldn't be this much 'the morning after' awkwardness," Roxas informed him.

"I'm tired," Riku said with a shrug. Then he looked a little more concerned. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," admitted Roxas. "But the first time is supposed to hurt, isn't it?"

"I wasn't thinking about that," Riku said, looking worried. Roxas smiled and pulled him in, wrapping his arms around the silveret. Riku enveloped Roxas in a warm hug, face buried in the soft blond spikes he found. He pulled away a little and kissed him roughly, startling his smaller boyfriend.

"Riku, I still hurt-"

"I'm just kissing," Riku promised, sighing. "I love you."

Roxas leaned in and started another kiss, as sweet as every other kiss he'd given Riku. But neither of them missed the fact that Roxas didn't say it back.

After they finished their shower there was a rush to redress and return home before Marluxia or Axel could worry. Riku kept a firm grip on Roxas' hand, fingers twined with fear but the warm feeling in his heart was tainted with a bitterness he didn't like to have but couldn't help. And he knew Roxas couldn't lie to him and simply say it-he had to mean it.

At home Marluxia was sitting on the couch, head cradled in his hand and shadows beneath his eyes. Axel was nowhere to be seen and Roxas could only imagine he had stayed with the beautiful woman he had been flirting with last night. Something constricted in his chest at that thought; Axel fucking that girl, calling her name and never knowing that Roxas had imagined being in her place on various occasions.

"Axel's passed out in the room," Marluxia announced without looking up, surprising them both. Riku had probably been thinking something along the same lines as Roxas. Marluxia went on after a few seconds pause. "He got home at four in the morning. I didn't expect you two back but…Jesus, he was drunk."

"Is he okay?" Roxas whispered, glancing at the bedroom worriedly.

"Yeah, that Elena chick brought him home," Marluxia said, biting his lip. "But he's never like this Rox. Or at least, I've never seen him like this."

"This isn't good," Riku said, surprising the other two. "Axel's supposed to catch the last ferry home tonight. If he feels shitty, he'll need to wait until tomorrow. Can one of you go get his ticket changed and the other one stay here and watch him? I'm gonna go get some stuff."

"Gonna make your hangover cure?" Marluxia called after him, waving to Roxas before dashing outside and leaving the blond alone with one still slightly drunk redhead. Roxas hesitantly edged towards the bedroom, worried for several reasons. He'd seen Axel at his most drunken state and it was something that made him sad; Axel was generally an agreeable person but the person he was that drunk was not. And Axel hated it because he didn't want to be like his mother more than most people knew; after his dad died, his mother had found refuge in the bottom of the bottle and he had taken care of Kairi and Naminé.

"Axel?" Roxas called, poking his head into the room. Axel was curled up in a ball in Roxas' sleeping bag, lip quivering slightly. "Axel?"

"I feel sick," the redhead whispered and Roxas shook his head, taking a seat beside Axel, pitifully glad that he hadn't been angry when drinking; Axel had a temper that made his mother's look diminutive when drunk.

"You look sick," Roxas informed him, pressing a hand against his forehead and checking the redhead's temperature. Axel's eyes fluttered shut and he made a soft humming noise in the back of his throat, nuzzling against the cool hand on his forehead.

"That feels nice," Axel murmured.

"Do you want some soup or something?" Roxas asked, remembering other times that he had taken care of Axel and vice versa back on Destiny Islands.

"Nah," Axel said. "I just want Riku's hangover cure."

"I can't believe you got drunk," Roxas said, running his fingers through Axel's hair. "Elena must have been really impressed with you."

"Didn't fuck her," Axel muttered, rolling over. "Couldn't stop thinking of you." Roxas froze when Axel said that, his fingers trembling as he pulled them away. "She wasn't that hot anyway."

"Um…do you want me to get you something?" Roxas asked, voice shaking as he spoke.

"No, just stay with me," Axel mumbled, snoring as he fell asleep again. Roxas sat back on his heels, burying his face in his hands and rocking back and forth.

When Riku and Marluxia got back Roxas was curled up on the couch, staring at the bedroom door with an expression that looked like he was treading water between insanity and reality.

"He's sleeping," Roxas said quietly, sitting up. Marluxia went in to check on Axel while Riku mixed his hangover cure, Roxas staring at the wall for a few minutes before following Riku. The silveret was surprised when arms encircled his waist, Roxas squeezing him tightly.

"Roxas?"

"I love you Riku," Roxas whispered shakily, burying his face in between Riku's shoulder blades. Riku wondered in the back of his mind why it didn't make him feel any better as he turned and took Roxas in his arms. He tilted the blond's head to the side and kissed him, trying not to think that maybe it was because Roxas didn't want him and he didn't love him-not the way Riku was sure he loved him.

XxXxX

Axel left the next day, still looking unhappy and sick but they couldn't do anymore for him. He couldn't push off leaving another day even though he obviously wanted to when they went to see him off, his eyes never leaving the blond between Riku and Marluxia for more than a few seconds. He restrained himself from doing anything stupid when Roxas hugged him goodbye but he was itching to crush the teen close to him and taste those pouting pink lips. He listened to the waves as they slapped the boat, watching the shoreline as he was taken further and further from it. From Roxas.

"He's happy," he told himself. "And you're straight, remember?"

Talking to yourself: first sign of insanity.

Naminé was the only one home when he returned, her thin frame curled up on his bed. She usually hid in his room when their mother went on a rampage and judging from the bruise forming on the blonde's pale arm he'd missed their mother in her prime. He pulled a blanket over her, gently pushing the stray strands of hair that fell in her face out of the way. She made a face as her hair tickled her nose and Axel smiled, remembering when they'd brought Naminé home. He'd been three, Kairi had been one and they'd been delighted with their sister. She looked nothing like them, with her blonde hair and pale as death skin against their red hair and slightly tanned skin. Their father had left their mother when he'd seen Naminé; how could she be his daughter? He'd died a year later and was the only one besides their mother who knew the name of Naminé's father other than the man himself. Sometimes Naminé wondered who her real father was but her mother never said, but she did acknowledge that she was only Axel and Kairi's half sister. They still loved her.

"Naminé, what do I do?" Axel whispered, resting his head against his sister's shoulder, wishing she had the answer and knowing she didn't. With a sigh he pulled away and checked the time, deciding it wasn't too late to call Larxene, who'd be interested in the latest development in his world. She's been trying to get him to admit for years that he secretly had a thing for Roxas. Axel never thought she might be right…or at least, he had never believed he would be so desperate as to admit to it.

"If you are looking for love, you are looking in the wrong place," Larxene greeted, making Axel pinch the bridge of his nose. At least Larxene had not changed her greeting from the day they met or he would feel as though nothing was consistent. It was why she was, and would remain, speedial two. Roxas was one. "You've reached Larxene's Advice Center, how may I help you?"

"My mother is an alcoholic bitch and I think I'm falling in love with my best friend," Axel said, flopping down beside Naminé. "What do I do doctor?"

"Don't know and you mean you just noticed?"

"Thanks."

"No, really. Roxas has obviously liked you for ages and you…well I thought you liked him back. You two are always so…close. I've never seen you so far apart until now and you couldn't even make it to fall break," Larxene pointed out and Axel winced. He hated women. They were always right.

"And your advice is?" Axel inquired, running his hand through his unruly locks.

"See how he and Riku play out. Don't be the reason a relationship fails, it gets you zero points and everyone will want to kick your ass," Larxene said wisely. "But remember that Roxas is a growing teenage boy in college, he can make his own decisions and he isn't going to go unnoticed for long. I wouldn't date him now Axel, you're too far apart and to make this work…you wouldn't be happy. You'd want him right next to you, every second possible."

"I want him here now!" Axel whined. "Just thinking about all the things Riku did to him…that I want to do to him…things I know I shouldn't want but I do."

"Oh Axel," Larxene said and Axel could hear her sympathy. It was a cold day in hell when Larxene was sympathetic to anyone other than Roxas and Naminé, both of whom she adored. She was almost certain they were really half siblings, that it had been Roxas' father that had impregnated Axel's mother with Naminé. Axel wasn't sure he liked that idea but as Larxene had pointed out, that would only make Roxas and Naminé related, not him and Roxas.

"I think I love him Larxene."

"I know Ax," Larxene whispered. "But just…wait for break okay. Until he gets home. Until then, don't think about it."

It took Axel a month to learn not to think about it. And then when schoolwork and other things didn't preoccupy him, he was still thinking of Roxas, who was living on HBU's campus and sharing a room with Riku.

Roxas on the other hand, was juggling Riku's growing clinginess and Reno's advances that were steadily becoming more and more difficult to ignore. And that wasn't mentioning what he had to do for school in between trying to keep Reno at a distance and reassure Riku that nothing was going on between him and the determined redhead. Axel was the last thing on his mind but when he did have time to let his thoughts wander they would usually journey over the ocean to Destiny Islands and his best friend.

"Roxas, you look distracted," Marluxia told him, resting his chin in his open palm. Riku was working late and they had agreed to wait at 7th Heaven for him but Roxas was beginning to feel sleepy. He ached particularly badly after last night too; Riku had suggested Roxas ride him and now his legs still felt like jelly.

"Just thinking," Roxas said vaguely, toying with the necklace he wore. It was an elaborate looking X shaped pendant that hung on a thin velvet ribbon and even though he knew Riku didn't like it, he loved wearing it. There wasn't a day he hadn't worn it since he had gotten it but Riku was suspicious about where it had come from since Roxas wouldn't tell him. Axel had sent it to him for his eighteenth birthday, along with a card and a promise to visit again soon.

Roxas missed his best friend, he missed Axel's smile and he missed the way the redhead always knew what he needed. Axel had begun calling less since school started but when he did call he talked for ages and he talked to Roxas. It made Riku annoyed and Marluxia disappointed.

"You know, Riku really doesn't like Axel that much anymore," Marluxia said, throwing Roxas for a loop. "He's worried Axel will steal you away."

"But Axel's straight!" Roxas protested, cheeks reddening. He looked down. "He's…I'm his best friend. Axel will never see me that way."

"But you see him that way," Marluxia guessed and Roxas flinched. "It's obvious you know. You always have this special little smile you only smile when you're with him. And whenever he calls you light up like a Christmas tree." Roxas looked away, cheeks heated from embarrassment and shame.

"He makes my day with those calls," Roxas admitted quietly.

"Roxas," Marluxia called, regaining the blond's attention. "Don't do this too Riku. If you're his, you have to be his completely. And if you want to be Axel's, you aren't being very faithful to Riku."

"But I love-"

"Hey Babe," Riku said, interrupting Roxas. He tilted the blond's head back and kissed him swiftly, startling Roxas into silence. Roxas watched Riku sit down between them, thinking that maybe it was for the best that Riku had cut him off. Because it hadn't been Riku's name on his lips.

XxXxX

Axel visited once in September and made it to October before he gave up and took the ferry to Hollow Bastion again, calling Marluxia so he would be able to get into the dorms. The pinkette sounded surprisingly unhappy to see him and Riku looked aggravated to see Axel when he pulled the door open and Axel was standing there.

"Marly let me in," explained Axel.

"Roxas is at class," Riku said stiffly.

"That's okay," Axel said, dropping onto Roxas' bed. "I'll wait for him."

"His class ends in half an hour," Riku said.

"That's only partially what I meant," Axel said, making Riku go pale. "I won't fight you for him Riku. If you two work out, I'll never say a word. But if you don't…" Riku looked tensed for a few minutes before he relaxed, sighing.

"You might not have to wait that long then," Riku said softly, looking a little sad.

"Reeks?"

"I can't hold onto what isn't rightfully mine, can I?" Riku asked, leaning back against the door, face in his hand. "He belongs to you. He loves you. He loves me but he loves you more." Axel got up and hugged the silveret, something he had done once before and only once before; Kairi had overheard Naminé talking to Roxas about Riku on the phone and she had told Sora that his brother was seeing his one time friend. Sora had called Riku and said words that implicated Riku was lower than dirt and no longer welcome in Sora's company. Axel had gotten to Hollow Bastion in time to see Riku's reaction to Sora's words that had confirmed a suspicion he'd been harboring quietly since his sister started dating Sora; Riku was in love with the brunette.

"It'll be okay Riku," Axel murmured, the silveret choking on a laugh or a sob, Axel never knew.

"But you have to beat Reno to getting him," Riku said and Axel felt cold.

"I'll beat anyone to get him," Axel whispered. Riku wondered deep down if Axel really knew what he'd just said he would do.

"Riku-oh."

Both Riku and Axel looked up surprised to see a startled Roxas standing in the doorway, eyes fixed on Axel. The smile he gave them was pained, an expression Axel had rarely seen on that innocent face.

"What's wrong Roxas?" Axel asked and the blond laughed a little, tears in his eyes.

"I saw my dad," Roxas whispered and Riku realized that he'd learned something else. "He told me he's going back to Destiny Islands."

"Why?" Axel said as Riku enveloped the lithe blond.

"To marry the woman he had an affair with," Roxas whispered. "Larxene was right. Naminé's my half sister."

"You can't be sure though," Riku said, pushing Roxas away to stare him in the eyes. "Can you?"

"He told me so," Roxas said softly, glancing helplessly at Axel. "He told me that she's my sister and oh God, what am I supposed to do? He's going to marry your mother Axel."

"My…my mom," Axel said, realizing exactly what that meant. Roxas would be his stepbrother. His fists clenched at his sides and looked away, trying to fight the anger threatening to consume him.

"Axel, calm down. Roxas, we'll think of something, okay?" Riku said, looking back and forth between the two.

"Oh God," Roxas croaked, sitting down. "I kissed my sister."

Riku smacked his hand to his face, groaning.

"You didn't know!"

"I kissed her!" Roxas moaned, mouth twitching. "Like tongue and all. Back when…shit, I dated my sister!"

"You've considered her to be a sister for awhile now," Axel pointed out stiffly. "How is this that much different?"

"But she's related to me Axel! Like by blood and genetics and…that other stuff," Roxas whined as the redhead sat down beside him, burying his face in the redhead's shoulder. Axel stiffened and gave Riku a helpless look, begging the silveret to help with his eyes. Riku sat beside Roxas, pulling the blond up and making him sit straight.

"It's not the end of the world Roxas," Riku reminded him. "Naminé is like your sister anyway. And your dad is a dick."

"But-"

"Nothing has changed," Riku insisted firmly. "Nothing."

It tasted just as much a lie as Roxas' broken "I love you". Riku didn't linger too long on the irony. No one tells the truth in matters of the heart. It involves letting your pride get bruised too easily to be considered safe.

XxXxX

Nothing actually changed very much, just as Riku predicted. Or at least, not in the way they expected. Axel's mother and Roxas' father decided they would be living in Land of Dragons and taking Axel, Kairi and Naminé with them, so the wedding would have to take place during the winter. The three would be transferring to Land of Dragon College, something that left Sora devastated for weeks, calling Roxas as often as possible in an attempt to find a way to transfer. His plan fell through when their mother found out and went into a screaming rage, telling Sora that not only was he staying, Roxas would be returning to Destiny Isles, which lasted for all of a week before she caved and told Roxas he could stay in Hollow Bastion.

By the end of October Riku decided it was time to admit to himself that he and Roxas weren't going to work out. Watching Roxas argue with Sora every night on the phone was beginning to drive him insane, especially since he was realizing that his feelings for Roxas may have been a lie to himself about his feelings for his ex-best friend. Reno wasn't helping matters either with his continued flirtations towards Roxas, ignoring Riku even when the silveret was standing right beside the college freshman.

"Do you have any plans for Halloween?" Reno asked after happening Roxas, Riku and Marluxia after work.

"Not yet," Marluxia cut in, taking a sip of his drink. Roxas muttered an agreement, face buried in Riku's shoulder. He had more hours than either Riku or Marluxia and his classes were stretched out through the day until six o'clock and even though he lived on campus it was making him tired from the lack of sleep. Riku was concerned about Roxas' declining health but there was no way to approach the subject without upsetting the blond. Marluxia had made a few attempts and then asked Axel to try, resulting in Roxas ignoring Axel's phone call the following week, something that worried both of Roxas' friends. Marluxia went so far as to stay in Riku and Roxas' room on Roxas' day off to keep an eye on the younger boy, concerned that he may have upset Roxas all those weeks ago with his comment about letting Riku go.

"It's Halloween, how come you guys don't have a plan?" Reno asked, playing with his drink, glancing over his shoulder for Elena who had been his partner for the day.

"Because we have school, work and sleep to worry about," Riku responded, nudging Roxas when Tifa brought their food over.

"Here you boys go," she said, placing their plates on the table. One glance at Roxas and she paused, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead. "Roxas, you feel warm. Are you sick? Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"No," Marluxia responded for the blond who blushed and ducked his head.

"I'm fine Tifa," Roxas mumbled. "Just a little cold. Nothing to worry about."

Tifa didn't look convinced by Roxas' words but she let it go since a fight was breaking out in the corner and Tifa would be damned before some asshole trashed the place she was working so hard to make respectable. Aeris, who had helped Tifa carry everything over, didn't look as ready to give up but Zack entered through the back exit with Cloud, the pair talking about something that had Cloud all smiles. With a quick, paranoid glance at Roxas she headed over to the boys and started scolding them for being out so late.

"Reminds me of when Naminé and Larxene used to bitch at us," Riku said fondly as he ate. Roxas nodded his agreement as he picked at his food, hoping Riku continued so no one continued questioning him on his ill health.

"Yeah, like that one time we egged the English teacher's house and car," Marluxia prompted upon seeing Roxas' desire to keep the conversation going. "We were having a sleepover with them and they waited up until we got back at three in the morning or something."

"Or when we all went down to the beach for the bonfire and Roxas and Axel went for firewood and got lost? It took you guys hours to get back," Riku said, laughing.

"How about the time we were painting Naminé's room and we ditched Larxene and Naminé under the pretense of getting more paint?" Roxas added, ignoring the clenching in his chest. He remembered the night Riku was talking about. It was the first time he realized he might be falling for his best friend.

"Axel how the hell did you manage to get us lost?" Asked Roxas as he tripped over another washed up log.

"Hey, I'm trying to get us unloose while you bitch, okay?" Axel replied, flopping down in the sand. "For fuck sake, whose brilliant idea was this trip anyway?"

Roxas looked at Axel accusingly and the redhead grinned widely.

"It's a mystery," Roxas said sarcastically, sitting beside his best friend and hugging his knees to his chest. "Except you thought ahead and brought a coat."

Axel threw his arms around Roxas, startling the blond.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to keep you warm. Can't have my best friend catching a cold," Axel said as Roxas' heart flew up to his throat just as it had just about every time Axel touched him. But Axel's arms around him felt so wonderful and right Roxas couldn't argue with the feelings.

"Whatever you say," Roxas muttered, fiddling with shells. The fog curling around his feet added to the oddity of the scene. Roxas almost felt like he was in another world, a place where he and Axel were alone together.

"Axel?"

"Hmm?" The redhead said, his chin resting on Roxas' shoulder.

"Promise you'll always be right here?" Roxas asked and Axel laughed.

"Like right here? Because I'm seeing a problem with that potentially-"

"No, just…you'll always be my best friend," Roxas explained and Axel smiled, squeezing the blond a little tighter.

"Forever and ever," promised Axel and Roxas knew it was love. "Come on, let's find our way back."

"Okay," Roxas said, taking Axel's offered hand. It felt so right.

Roxas smiled as he took a bite of his dinner, ignoring Riku and Marluxia's debate as he reminisced on good times. Reno had fallen silent since Tifa's arrival and he was just about to start talking again when he realized Roxas had completely zoned out and wasn't even listening to Marluxia and Riku. Chancing a glance at the silveret in his way, he risked nudging Roxas' foot with his own, twinning their feet. Roxas was still out of it and hadn't noticed Reno's actions, one hand subconsciously playing with his X-shaped pendant and making Reno's mouth twitch. He, like Riku, had suspicions about the origin of Roxas' trinket but Reno wasn't about to admit that he couldn't compete with Axel, who wasn't even on the same mass of land as him and Roxas. Axel would be a piece of cake compared to Riku and Reno was sure of it.

"Roxas, are you feeling okay?" Reno asked softly, trying not to alert Riku and Marluxia of Roxas' lack of attention.

"I'm fine," Roxas whispered back, trying to kick Reno and realizing that the redhead had tangled their feet. He tumbled off the chair, Reno trying to catch him and scratching Roxas' arm in the process, making the petite blond yelp. Marluxia and Riku turned to look at their friend, Riku looking concerned while Marluxia fixed accusing eyes on Reno.

"Are you okay Roxas?" Riku asked, helping the blond up carefully.

"I'm fine," Roxas said, smiling at his boyfriend. "I was thinking and rocking in my chair and lost my balance. Reno was trying to catch me."

"Oh, you're bleeding," Riku said as Roxas tried to cover the cuts.

"Uh, let's see if Tifa has band aids then," Roxas said, grabbing Riku's arm and dragging him to Tifa. Marluxia glared at Reno, the redhead smirking as he got up and loped over to his disgruntled partner, both of them leaving the bar after Elena spent a few minutes giving Reno a verbal dressing down. When Roxas came back he looked shell shocked and Riku wasn't with him.

"What's wrong?" Marluxia asked and Roxas fixed him with those haunting blue eyes.

"Can I stay in your room tonight?" Roxas asked and Marluxia felt his stomach drop, nodding as Roxas threw himself at the pinkette, arms around Marluxia's waist as he shook with suppressed sobs. Marluxia hesitated but wrapped his arms around Roxas, pressing his face against the smaller boy's soft spikes, rocking Roxas gently. At a small scuffing noise he looked up to see Riku, guilt in his features but he also looked resolute in his decision and Marluxia couldn't quite fault him for freeing himself of Roxas…and freeing Roxas from him. Marluxia let the boy go and took his hand, tugging Roxas back to his dorm room and hoping Roxas would see that this was for the best. By the time they got to his room Roxas had clammed up and Marluxia was glad his roommate couldn't find his way from his girlfriend's room to theirs most nights because explaining this to someone else would have been like pulling teeth since he was trying to get Roxas to sleep, a nightmare in itself. Roxas snuggled up to Marluxia like a small child, reminding Marluxia that Roxas wasn't as old as he thought he was…and neither was Marluxia.

'It's funny how you think you are an adult when you turn eighteen and go to college but you aren't really, are you? No one is the age they think they are on the inside. It's experience that teaches us to be adults. It's life.'

XxXxX

Roxas went back to Riku and his dorm room the next day and talked with the silveret. It was hard for him but he managed not to burst into a hysterical fit at Riku's explanation. He told Riku he still wanted to stay with Riku in the room but he didn't want to be with Riku anymore either; they were too close in some ways for it to work out.

Riku neglected to tell Roxas he had spent a month's pay to talk to Axel that night. He had hurt himself just as much as Roxas, the blond simply expressed it more. Riku knew deep down though it was for the best, that he was doing the right thing, the honest thing by letting Roxas go rather than keep up the pretense that either of them felt more for the other than they truly did. His only problem was that Reno was no longer holding back, abusing the fact Roxas was at his weakest and Axel had yet to be close enough to make a move.

"So, are you still free on Halloween?" Reno asked Roxas a week before the holiday, Riku and Marluxia glaring at the redhead from the other end of the table, Marluxia shooting Rude and Elena disgusted looks. Neither of Reno's coworkers had seen fit to ring him in this time, letting him flirt with Roxas to his heart's content and Marluxia was feeling abandoned in trying to let Axel get Roxas.

Oh, no, we're not doing anything," Roxas said, assuming Reno was addressing the group. He wasn't oblivious to Reno's advances and since his and Riku's break up had been mildly reciprocating but Marluxia was hoping it wasn't a genuine thing. Axel had been so stressed out the last time they had spoken…

"Want to go to my friend's party?" Reno asked, catching the panic on Marluxia's face and giving Roxas a wide grin. "As my date?"

'Say no,' thought Marluxia.

"Sure," Roxas said, smile growing. Marluxia felt Riku tense up, knowing they were thinking the same thing. Their eyes met and Marluxia looked down, biting his lip. Once Reno managed to get his hands on Roxas it was going to take an act of God to free him.

Axel took it better than either Marluxia or Riku expected. Naminé had told them that he'd only burnt the couch and their mother had been getting rid of it anyway so she hadn't even lost her temper. Hell, the woman had stopped trying to drink herself into a coma, she couldn't understand why Axel was so miserable…although she did avoid Sora and Roxas' mother in the super market like the plague and Kairi had been forbidden to date Sora anymore…and vice versa. For the first time in years Roxas and Sora were actually getting along and understanding each other as opposed to their usual bitter relationship. It didn't help Axel at all though, Marluxia and Riku both concerned about what they could do in order to separate Roxas from Reno before it was too late.

"Guys, just give it up," Axel said, a loud, unpleasant noise following his words. Riku winced and rubbed his forehead, Marluxia biting his lip as another noise followed.

"Axel, what are you doing?" Marluxia finally asked after more unidentifiable noises.

"I'm packing the garage up," Axel responded. Riku wished they weren't on speaker so he could kick something and not be overheard but he knew Axel was in the one place where he could take out his stress and not get in trouble.

"Your mom's letting you take the car?" Marluxia asked, sounding hopeful. That was something that would most certainly cheer Axel up.

"If I pay for it," the redhead said sourly, making the two boys on the same end share a look of worry.

"Axel, I really doubt Roxas will like him as much as we think. I mean, Reno doesn't seem like his type," Riku offered.

"Then I wouldn't be his type either, would I?"

"But Roxas-Roxas-help me out Marly!" Riku said, turning to Marluxia, who rolled his eyes.

"Axel," the pinkette began. "You know perfectly well that Roxas cares more about you than he does anyone else. You're his best friend in the whole world. Don't you think that counts for something?"

"No Marly," Axel said, something painful in his voice that made Riku's stomach drop. "I don't think it'll ever matter that I'm his best friend other than I'll be the first person he tells how happy he is. Admit it you two. I don't stand a chance anymore. And I never will again. I've lost Roxas and there's no way to get him back now."

"Axel…"

"Mom's calling," interrupted the redhead. "She's a right little ray of fucking sunshine nowadays, wouldn't you know it? Says things she never would have before. She's a whole new person. Talk to you guys later."

"We're fucked," Marluxia said after Axel hung up, banging his head against the wall.

"I know," Riku said, glad they were in Marluxia's room since he didn't want Roxas to overhear this particular conversion. As much as knowing how Axel truly felt about him would make Roxas' day neither of them were ready to be together, not without ruining their friendship forever. Riku acknowledged deep down that he would never be able to be in the same room with Roxas when the blond changed, that some conversation could never be casual between them and that there were boundaries that hadn't been there before between them. But he had made the choice to surrender Roxas and for better or for worse, he would not regret the decision. No matter how much it hurt to image Reno on top of Roxas in a bed, fucking the blond hard and fast-Reno was one of those jackasses that just oozed the 'I fuck amazing. It hurts, but it's amazing.'

"What are we going to do?" Marluxia asked and Riku sighed, trying to think of someway of salvaging the relationship he knew had more potential then Reno and Roxas.

"I don't know. Wait and see?" Riku suggested, plucking apart one of Marluxia's flowers. It was a testament to how annoyed Marluxia was that he hadn't already butchered Riku for that.

"I guess that's all we can do," Marluxia said, glancing at the clock. "Fuck, I have to get to my botany class, I'll see you later?"

"Later Marly," Riku said as Marluxia gathered his things, the silveret exiting as Marluxia headed out the door and down the hall. He glanced at his watch, cursing his professor. If he got there late Vexen would signal him out and try his damnedest to humiliate Marluxia just as he did every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And that was just in Botany-he was the professor featured most on Marluxia's schedule. Marluxia made it in with seconds to spare, ignoring Vexen's narrowed gaze as the professor paused in setting up his materials to see who had entered the room.

"You're late Aizawa," Vexen said, making Marluxia roll his eyes.

"Sorry Evans," he said to the blond man, shrugging as he took his seat.

"See me after class," Vexen instructed and Marluxia opened his mouth to tell the icy professor to go fuck himself when the man dropped his last test in his lap. Staring wide eyed at the red ink in the right hand corner Marluxia felt anger bubble up inside him and he glared at Vexen's back, grinding his teeth. That conniving mother fucker…

Marluxia took notes through the entire class, dutifully scribbling the words Vexen wrote on the board and the important things he elaborated on, aggravated that the blond man had the gall to give him a seventy percent. It wasn't important to most people but Marluxia took pride in his knowledge of plants and being so viciously shot down was a slap in the face. He even managed to avoid imagining Vexen's violent, painful death until near the end of class, when he sidled up to the professor, shifting his weight from foot to foot as the room emptied and Vexen cleaned the board.

"You didn't do so well on this test Aizawa," Vexen said without preamble as he wiped away the last thing he had written. He turned to the pinkette, disapproval obvious. "What happened?"

"Nothing that concerns you," Marluxia responded, folding his arms in front of his chest. Vexen sighed and rolled his eyes, leaning against the blackboard without any care for the chalk that smeared on his pristine lab coat.

"Look, I don't really give a shit that my favorite student's grades have gone to hell but I have to ask," the man replied and Marluxia blinked in surprise, eyebrow quirking. He was Vexen's favorite student? The aggravating extra work and signaling out was a show of favoritism? He was startled from his thoughts by Vexen's next words, an offer that managed to greatly surprise the pinkette. "Wanna talk over coffee? My treat."

"Okay," Marluxia said, swinging his bag onto one shoulder. "But nothing decaf."

Vexen snorted.

"You try grading papers at three in the morning on decaf," retorted the blond man as he headed for the door. Marluxia grinned, hoping Riku didn't mind him skipping out on him.

XxXxX

Roxas was stocking the shelves when he heard the bell jingle, causing him to sigh at the thought of another customer. It was getting closer to winter and Halloween had arrived as chilly and cold as Hollow Bastion advertised it to be. If he hadn't had Reno's party to look forward to tonight he would be reminiscing on years past, something he had already been doing all day and had no intention of continuing.

"Hey Roxas."

The called blond turned at the soft voice and smiled at Cloud.

"Here for Tifa's new Melodious Nocturne CD?" He asked, heading for the counter where he had stashed the CD as soon as the new shipment had come in for the brunette.

"And the Dusks' Top Twenty Hits CD. Tifa plans on playing them in the bar for the next few weeks," Cloud said. Roxas smiled, pleased to hear that the band would be playing. There were classics and then there were classics. The Dusks had been around for years and had finally finished up their tribute tour to the band's singer, who had died of lung cancer earlier in the previous year. The singer's brother had sung in his place throughout the tour, fans crying right along with the mourning band. Axel had taken him when they had hit Destiny Island, surprising him on Halloween last year with the tickets and a promise to make it a night to remember.

"Ready to go yet Blondie?" Axel asked, perched on Roxas' windowsill as he waited for the blond to scramble out.

"Yes," he responded, sounding aggravated as he tugged his Dusks hoodie on. "I wish Sora hadn't tried to rat us out."

"He always does, it shouldn't be that big of a surprise," Axel muttered as he skulked through the bushes in front of Roxas' window, abusing his lengthy limbs to side step any roots or tree limbs that tried to trip him and catching Roxas whenever the blond nearly stumbled.

"Are we out?" Hissed the blond, Axel barely managing to muffle his yell as they tumbled out of the bushes. Once he was sure Roxas had himself under control he pulled his hand away from the blond's mouth and took his hand, guiding him towards the woods.

"Follow the imaginary road made of twigs and branches," Axel muttered sarcastically under his breath. "And if you survive that then maybe you will arrive to the fucking ocean and the boat you will have to sneak on to get to the other side."

"We have to sneak on to the ferry?" Roxas whispered in panic, eyes going wide. His vision was still adjusting to the dark when Axel swung around and met his gaze.

"Yeah," Axel said, shrugging. "Don't worry I know how to do it."

"Okay," Roxas said as they slipped into the woods, wincing as branches slapped his face and clawed at his clothes with every step he took. He stumbled more than once, the ground lurching up to cut him with debris built up over several decades before Axel caught him. They didn't talk as they maneuvered through the woods, both of them relieved to see the trees thinning and the lights of the ferry's dock. Axel made Roxas stop at the entrance of the woods and, after a quick scan of the area below, dashed across the meadow to the ferry, hoping Roxas was right behind him. Axel worried that Roxas hadn't made it until the small blond collided with his back, almost pushing him into the wall of the ferry. He caught himself though and grabbed Roxas' hand again, dragging the blond to the small ladder they used in case of emergencies, hoisted his small friend up first.

"Make sure no one's looking before you get on," Axel hissed as they climbed the short ladder, Roxas nodding as he poked his head over. After a quick glance he climbed on board and scampered away from the edge, waiting for Axel in one of the darker corners. The redhead didn't take as good a look around as he did and quickly ducked under the rail and into a corner just as a guard was turning. Roxas was sure Axel had been spotted until the guard kept turning, making him breathe a sigh of relief. Axel came to stand next to him, neither speaking so as not to draw attention to themselves but both had smug grins, proud of their accomplishment. Once they exited the way they had come at Stardust they headed for the amphitheater where Destiny Island held all its concerts, Axel flashing their tickets at the door. In they went and Roxas couldn't help but feel grateful that Axel was wonderful enough to give him this night. It was the perfect way to spend Halloween.

"Roxas?" Cloud called, startling the blond out of his day dream.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Reminiscing."

"Dusks or Halloween?"

"Both actually," Roxas said with a smile. "My best friend took me to see them during their tribute tour and they played Destiny Islands on Halloween. It was one of the best nights of my life."

"Marluxia mentioned your best friend once," Cloud recalled. "The night Tifa tried to set him up with our friend Yuffie."

"Axel's almost always attached to all our really funny stories," Roxas explained. "They're usually his idea."

Cloud smiled as though he understood completely but Roxas was sure that there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I'll take those CDs now," Cloud said quietly.

"I'll have them right out," Roxas said, knowing better than to push the subject. He gave Cloud the CDs with a smile, startled when Cloud spoke again without meeting his eye.

"Zack wasn't my only best friend in school," the blond man told him. "Sephiroth used to be our friend too. Some things just weren't meant to be though."

"Yeah," Roxas said as Cloud left, hand slipping over the choker around his neck. "Some things aren't."

XxXxX

Reno smirked as he walked to the Usual Spot, sure Roxas would be alone and ready for him to sweep him off to Demyx's party. So it wasn't really his friend's party but Blondie didn't know that and Demyx had asked Reno to invite the adorable little islander and who was Reno to deny the customer? And to make it even sweeter, Rufus had given him the night off since he knew how much Reno loved Halloween and the redhead had let it slip that he might have a hot date that night.

"Hey Roxas," Reno called as he entered the store, looking around for his date upon hearing a loud crash. "Roxas?"

"In here!" Roxas called and Reno looked around, curious as to where 'here' was when the stereo to his right suddenly moved. It shifted to the left and revealed a small storage area, a small blond head popping out immediately after.

"How the hell did you get in there?" Asked Reno, impressed the store owner had such a hiding place.

"Oh, I pulled the lid on after me. I normally have Olette to help me out but the boss let her off today since Halloween isn't very busy and I lost the coin toss," explained Roxas with a smile as he hoisted himself up and out, pushing the speaker back over the hole. And the only things Reno could think was 'the kid must have good upper body strength' and 'I can't wait to strip him down and fuck him senseless.'

"Well, are you ready to leave?"

"Just have to stop by the room before we head out," Roxas said, making a face. "I wasn't expecting the storage area to be so damn dirty."

"That's okay," Reno said with a grin. "I can wait." 'And taunt Riku while I'm there.'

"Be nice to Riku," Roxas said, catching the mischievous look in his date's eyes ignoring the strange yet oh-so-familiar sensation of his stomach dropping as his heart wished that those dancing blue eyes were the same color as the ones that usually had that look of impending wrongdoing: venom green.

Riku wasn't home Reno was disappointed to find as Roxas invited his guest in.

"So…small room," commented Reno.

"Yeah. I've got to go take a shower-thank God Riku was willing to pay the extra for us to have a private bathroom, I don't know how'd survive community showers," Roxas said, gesturing towards the door that evidently lead to an adjacent bathroom. "Make yourself at home while I'm busy, okay?"

And the second there was a door between them Reno's instinct was to search the place. Hazards of being a law enforcement drop out with enough instincts to take down the mafia and a hatred of discipline. He was careful about it and only did a quick search; scanned the pictures that decorated the corkboard Riku and Roxas had put up, made mental notes about each person in the pictures and flipped through a few of the papers on Riku's desk; Roxas' was spotless. Through it he learned that within their group of friends there were two blonde females, one possible a relative, had been close to the boys, a redhead girl with a brunette boy at what looked like a birthday party suggested they were Axel's sister Roxas had once mentioned while talking to Riku and Marluxia, who from what Reno had gathered was dating Roxas' older brother…Sora, if he remembered correctly. There were several pictures of Roxas and Axel together, obviously a tight pair. It bothered Reno in a way that he and Axel were similar in looks and he resolved to make sure it didn't hamper his and Roxas' future relationship.

He was still at the board when the room's front door opened, Riku and Marluxia interrupting his contemplations.

"What are you doing here?" Greeted Riku, dumping his bag by the door. Marluxia glanced at his watch hurriedly, making Riku scowl at Reno smirk slightly.

"Roxas needed to clean up before we go out. We'll be gone soon," he assured Riku, who was still making a face.

"Ri, hurry up, my professor said there was only so much time allotted for lab time," Marluxia said, tapping his foot. Riku grabbed the papers on his desk, documents detailing plant dissection and handed them to Marluxia.

"Next time you visit, remember to take your homework with you," was his parting shot as Marluxia bolted out the door. Riku turned just as Reno's mouth opened and Roxas came back. Riku felt relief that he wasn't alone with the aggravating redhead and a sick longing at the realization at how very unclothed Roxas was in those jeans from the concert, their first time and nothing else, his pale chest still glistening with excess water. His head jerked away, staring at the poster he'd recently hung up.

"Forgot to grab a shirt-oh hey Riku, I didn't realize you were home," the blond said heading over to the closet and found a tight black shirt he yanked over his head. "Any plans tonight Riku?"

"Not yet," Riku said, giving Reno a silent warning as the redhead leered at the half naked body they were both secretly longing to have underneath them. Riku knew Reno's goal was to have Roxas in bed with him before the clock struck midnight and deep down, he knew the man would get his wish. Roxas wanted to be rid of him, of the burden of his love for Axel. Riku had not been able to bear it for him and should Reno succeed at erasing the ache Riku was sure Roxas constantly felt, he may even forgive the man for being one of the thousands of reasons that right now he was staring at Reno rather than giving in to every sweet plea that fell from Roxas' lips.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Roxas said, taking a risk and grabbing Riku's hand to squeeze. "Marly too busy?"

"He's got a lab to finish," Riku said as Roxas gathered his things to leave, unaware that Marluxia had lied about the lab; he'd finished it several days before. In all actuality Marluxia had been lying a lot lately about where he was, saying Riku could reach him through his cell phone. As far as Marluxia was concerned, Riku didn't really need to know that he was really slipping into his Botany professor's apartment, nervous about what Vexen had so mysteriously asked from him. Nervous and terribly, horribly excited as he stepped inside, the blond man holding the door open for him, Marluxia observed the apartment, something only marginally better than his summer accommodations.

"Thank you for coming to me Marluxia," Vexen said and the pinkette smiled eagerly. He knew what Vexen wanted from him, what the man before him desired. Those lingering touches, lustful looks and the special treatment…Marluxia was no fool and knew Vexen was making his move tonight. He probably had the whole damn thing planned out when Marluxia lived to plan how to ruin plans.

"So, how are you planning on doing this?" Marluxia asked, skipping the seduction bit of the game. They'd played it long enough.

"Plan on…what?" Vexen said, playing innocent. Marluxia killed the distance between them and pressed his lips to his professor's ear.

"You want me. You asked me here to seduce me," the pinkette breathed. "How were you intending to go about that…Vexen?" He knew the poor man was hooked when he said his name like that, felt the quivering of Vexen's body, which felt so much more muscular pressed this close than he had ever imagined and felt the arousal.

"I was planning on serving you dinner first," Vexen said softly and Marluxia doubted he would wait.

"When does your wife get home?" the sophomore asked, undoing the buttons of Vexen's dress shirt slowly. Vexen didn't even lie or act surprised this time.

"She's on a weekend vacation with her boss," Vexen replied, pulling Marluxia into a deep, lingering kiss, forgetting that his wife of five years had been sleeping with her boss two of them, losing himself in the man before him's touch. He'd longed for Marluxia since their first coffee venture, had fallen asleep dreaming of him and woken up with a problem in the morning that only thinking of Marluxia resolved.

"I told my roommate I wouldn't be home," admitted Marluxia and Vexen shivered in desire, shoving the other up against a wall.

"I'm rough," he warned the pinkette before tugging him into the bedroom. Marluxia was grinning from ear to ear and replied.

"I give just as good as I get."

Vexen doubted he'd ever be able to properly remember his wife's name afterwards.

XxXxX

Roxas was getting into the party after several shots of something Elena had offered him and Reno seemed a little bit worried, especially since every time they found themselves alone Roxas used the opportunity to press himself against the redhead and give him long, cherry flavored kisses. Reno actually forgot why they were there after a few of his own drinks and suggested the inevitable in his mind: my place or yours?

And Roxas had known better than to suggest his, thinking of poor Riku as Reno pulled him into the apartment, recalling their night together and the timid nature they had both developed. Of course they hadn't been drunk, Axel had been out getting drunk…'because of me' Roxas realized as they stumbled to the bedroom, his shirt off and pants undone. 'Axel was upset because he knew Riku and me…that was why he got drunk…' Reno mumbled something about the heater as he shoved Roxas down on the bed, stripping his shirt and pants before following the blond as Roxas had a delayed drunken epiphany. 'Axel couldn't bear to see me with Riku, could he? Why not just say so? He knew who I would pick; everyone does…unless I was just another toy. A prolonged obsession. Now I'm just a reminder of a life he used to live, without his mother truly noticing him. Now I'm just a burden.'

"Roxas lift your hips so I can get these off you," Reno commanded, struggling to yank the rest of the blond's garments off. Roxas complied as the second epiphany hit-Axel wouldn't want him now. And as Reno thrust into him he saw Axel and knew with a clarity that frightened him that Axel would never want him back. Reno bit down on his neck, a sharp pain shooting down his spine as he shook, disgusted and aroused and hurt, all at once. He knew that no matter how long Reno wanted him for, he would always remember bits of this first time and hate himself.

Because he realized how easy it was to be abandoned and broken in that moment as Reno came inside of him.

XxXxX

Roxas felt so cold when he awoke he was confused until he remembered; Reno had said something the night before about the heater being broken. The sun's rays made long rectangles on his skin and the mused sheets of Reno's bed, but their warmth didn't reach him as he sat up slightly. He could hear Reno in the bathroom, the shower going full blast by the sound of it. He looked down at his bare chest, dimly aware of a weightless feeling around his throat as he reached a hand up to stroke the naked skin. With a wince he remembered the chain snapping as Reno's teeth sank into his neck and looked for his friend's birthday present only to find it on the floor, the links broken. He sank to his knees beside the pieces, hand flying to cover his mouth as he giggled. They were both broken now, him and the necklace and Axel couldn't possibly love him, not now. Not now that he had thrown everything away on another man. Roxas had to scramble to his feet to make it to the trashcan, vomiting as he realized what he had done. His stomach rebelled again as he recalled those lovely green eyes that had made that same area of his body do belly flops for years. He didn't hear Reno come up behind him but at some point the redhead had moved there, supporting him as he was sick over and over again in the trashcan.

"You okay now?" Reno asked after a few minutes of dry heaving and body wreaking sobs. Roxas nodded and Reno helped him sit back down on the bed. "I'll be right back in a second, stay here."

Roxas closed his eyes, hand covering his mouth as he realized why last night had been so amazing: in his drunken state it had been easy to trick himself into thinking he was beneath a different redhead. It was something he had wanted to avoid more than anything and now there was no going back; he'd made his bed and now he'd have to lie in it.

"Roxas, you going to be okay?"

The blond looked up at the man staring down at him with a towel and a glass of water, giving him the sweetest smile possible considering the circumstances.

"No," he said. "I haven't been okay for quite some time."

"Can I fix it?" Reno said and he remembered Axel asking that question, but talking about something completely different. Roxas could still answer the same way.

"There are some things you can't fix Reno," Roxas said. "I'm too broken for anyone to fix."

"That's not true," Reno said, kneeling beside him and placing the things off to the side. He cupped the blond's face in his hands, examining the cerulean eyes staring back at him.

"Trust me Reno, you won't find the proof no matter how hard you look," Roxas said, taking the towel and wiping his mouth off. "Don't worry; it's nothing new."

"Can I help at all?" Reno asked and Roxas chuckled.

"No one can help me," he said, laughing through his tears. His lip quivered and Reno wished more than anything he didn't know what had left the darling little college freshman looking so shattered. And he hated knowing that someone could make Roxas react so strongly when the blond had barely shown any emotion when they'd been having sex the night before.

'Axel,' Reno decided mentally, searching Roxas' eyes, 'Simply must go. Roxas belongs to me now.'

"I'm persistent," Reno informed him, kissing Roxas swiftly, ignoring the stench of bile and the bitter taste that accompanied it. Roxas didn't fight, limp in Reno's grasp, letting the redhead put a cup of water to his lips and empty its contents down his throat.

"I'm gonna call Riku and Marluxia to tell them where you are, do I need to add anything?" Reno said as he tucked Roxas into bed and the blond stared blankly at the ceiling.

"No," Roxas answered quietly, a stray tear escaping from the corner of his eye and making a visible trail across his cheek. "No. There's nothing."

Reno didn't comment, deciding he would have to teach the blond exactly how determined he was when it came to fixing something.

Roxas didn't really feel like explaining that you can't fix knowing something that breaks you. Can't un-know something that steadily destroys you. Another tear escaped as he thought of how much further from him Axel would soon be…and how it really was all for the better. Something needed to save them from themselves. Roxas knew they couldn't do it themselves.

"Roxas, do you want something to eat?"

"Sure," answered the blond ignoring the ache that threatened to engulf him, smiling at Reno. And making sure it was Reno he saw. 'If I'm going to torture myself' Roxas thought as Reno helped him up. 'I'm going to do it properly until I drown in it.'

XxXxX

Axel turned the Dusks up as loud as he could, watching the girls as they entered the haunted house their mother had actually paid for them to go to while she helped Roxas' father finalize some of his plans. It was the day after Halloween and he was surprised to find himself standing outside Hollow Bastion's most infamous haunted house; not quite as scary as the allegedly actually haunted mansion of Twilight Town or the fearsome streets of Halloween Town, the country's biggest casino not only located there but themed Halloween all year long. Axel had always wanted to take Roxas there for his twenty first birthday.

"Axel!" Naminé yelled over his crackly speakers, making him pop the earbud out.

"You beckoned sister dear?" Axel commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you coming?" The blonde asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah I guess," Axel said, rolling his eyes. It took one hell of a haunted house to be scary during the day and this did not look like one of them. They wandered the halls, Kairi and Naminé shrieking at the random hired costume wearing help while Axel hung back, rolling his eyes at the special effects. None of the workers bothered with him, guessing accurately that Axel wasn't in the mood and wasn't even close to as impressed as the girls were when they came out on the other side of the house. He was almost glad to see his mother and Roxas' dad waiting for them, scanning the crowd for the trio as the sun reached the middle of the sky.

"So, now that I've got most everything done," Roxas' dad began and Axel started to zone out. "I was thinking maybe you three would like to see Roxas and Riku."

"Good idea, we'll go pick them up," Naminé volunteered, grabbing Axel's arm. She hesitated but Kairi simply went to go rifle through one of the displays in a nearby gift shop. Axel and Naminé headed to the dorms, Axel wondering vaguely if they should grab Marluxia as he hammered on Riku and Roxas' door. The door swung open, Riku standing on the other side looking vaguely aggravated until he realized who his visitors were. His silver hair was a wreck and he looked as though he'd spent most of the last night drinking if Axel had to guess.

"Oh God, why today?" Croaked Riku, looking extremely put upon. Naminé made a face, one that held all the disapproval she usually reserved for her half brother, and slid into the dorm room, examining the room. Axel, who had already seen Riku and Roxas' domain, was more concerned by the fact that Riku was all alone in their room.

"Where's Roxas?" Naminé asked casually as she looked over the bulletin board cluttered with pictures and the like. She missed the tips of Riku's ears turn a shade of red usually reserved for his form of anger and embarrassment. Axel noticed and felt confused.

"On a date," Riku informed them quietly and Axel felt himself go numb from head to toes. Naminé had a look of disbelief on her face, mouth opening and closing in shock. "Actually," clarified the silveret. "He went on a date last night and has yet to come home."

Axel wasn't quite sure what hurt him worse; Roxas was on a date or that Roxas had not yet come back from the date that was last night.

"Did he call?" Naminé asked and Riku scratched the back of his head.

"Either that was him or Marly earlier, not sure; didn't pick up."

Naminé fixed him with a disgusted look, noting the bloodshot aquamarine eyes and disheveled look that Riku seemed to wear today.

"I'll call the number and then I'll find the other one," Naminé said. "We are going to lunch with Mother and her boyfriend and I will not sit there with Kairi and Axel moping. Now get dressed Riku; Axel will help you out."

The boys headed into the bathroom after Riku grabbed some clothes, the silveret stripping and slipping into the shower as Axel stood facing the door.

"So who did he go out with?" Axel asked after a few minutes. Riku took so long to answer Axel had almost resigned himself to not knowing.

"Reno."

On the other side of the door Naminé was calling the last number to have dialed Riku's cell phone, waiting until she heard a voice on the other end to speak.

"Hello, this is Reno. Can I help you?"

'So Roxas called,' she thought. She, unlike Axel, had no concerns about guessing who Roxas had gone on a date with.

"Hi, I'm a friend of Roxas' Naminé. Is he still there?"

"Yeah, let me get him," Reno said. Naminé heard him call Roxas over his shoulder and after a few minutes Roxas answered.

"Hey Naminé, how did you know Reno's number?" He asked, sounding startled to hear from the blonde girl.

"I'm at Riku's. Your dad had crap to wrap up before him and Mother could drag us away. Hence Axel, Kairi and I are here and wanting to take you to lunch. Can you get back here soon?" Naminé explained, waiting for Roxas' answer. It was hesitant when it came but come it did.

"Yeah, I can be there soon. It'll take me at least an hour to get to that side of town though."

Naminé said her farewells and searched Riku's phone for Marluxia's cell phone, finding it quickly. She waited for the pinkette to answer, unaware of how Marluxia's morning was going just as Riku was unaware of Marluxia's actually location.

XxXxX

Marluxia woke up feeling a dull ache in his lower body and groaned, knowing he should have suspected that would be the result of sleeping with a man whose first words of warning were "I'm rough."

"How are you feeling?" Vexen asked, hovering slightly above him. Marluxia was surprised to see he had managed to throw some pants and a shirt on. Neither was actually buttoned but his chest still glistened with water from a quick shower.

"I've felt worse," Marluxia said, shrugging. He sat up cautiously, a little surprised that he still ached considering that Vexen and him had most definitely not stopped the first time. Marluxia wondered when the last time Vexen had sex was, recalling the almost frantic way Vexen had shoved him up against the wall and kissed and touched him…

"I'm sorry," Vexen said softly, leaning over the edge of the bed and kissing the pinkette's forehead. "Hungry?"

"A little-" Marluxia started to admit as his phone went off and he cursed under his breath. He scrambled for his pants, ignorant of the way Vexen's eyes followed him as he hunted for the stupid, incontinent little device. He found it and answered, gathering his clothes as he ventured back to the bedroom and, consequently, the man he had spent all night with.

"Hey Marly, busy?"

"No, Nami," he lied, throwing his clothes on the bed. Vexen pointed to one of the doors, mouthing 'bathroom' and left, probably to get food of some sort. "What's up?"

"Come have lunch with us! Axel and I are in town for today!" Naminé said and Marluxia mentally shot himself in the foot.

"Okay, I maybe an hour or so though," he said.

"So will Roxas, no biggie," she said. "See ya."

Marluxia stumbled out of the bedroom in a sheet he wrapped around himself, looking for Vexen, who smiled when he saw the pinkette.

"Hey, what's up?"

"One of my friend's asked me to lunch and I already told her I wasn't busy," Marluxia said, kissing him. "Come take a shower with before I have to go."

"I already took one," Vexen reminded Marluxia, who mentally cursed again.

"So…I'll go take one by myself then."

"You can come back here later if you feel up to it," Vexen offered, glancing tentatively at him.

"Maybe I will," Marluxia said. "I do have to study for this test I have Monday though."

"It's not like I couldn't help you," Vexen said, mouth twitching. Marluxia smiled as he headed to the bathroom.

The test was in Vexen's class.

XxXxX

Marluxia actually managed to beat Roxas to the dorms, blushing at the look Riku fixed him with when he came running in.

"Thought you were doing a lab," Riku said and Marluxia bit his lip.

"Well, I was with my professor," he said quietly, avoiding meeting Riku's gaze.

"Wait, the one-"

"Yeah."

"…isn't he married?" Riku asked, not asking about why Marluxia had slept with a man and choosing to nitpick about his marital status.

"Yeah," Marluxia repeated, cheeks going a decidedly amusing shade of pink.

"Might want to be careful," Riku suggested, letting the pinkette in. Marluxia smiled, hugging Naminé and Axel as Riku added to his words. "Did you see Roxas on your way up?"

"No," Marluxia said, recalling Naminé's comment about Roxas requiring a good deal of time to get back to the dorms. "Wait, he stayed at Reno's last night-"

"Shut up," Riku said, whacking the pinkette over the head. Marluxia was confused until he recalled Axel was there.

"Ohh," Marluxia said, color rising back to his cheeks again. "Oops."

"It's okay stop acting so antsy around me," Axel snapped, looking more and more aggravated with every passing minute.

"Axel, you can't tell me that you're just giving up," Naminé said, slumping when he glared at her. "I thought you wanted to be his one and only."

"There's no such thing," Axel said tiredly. "One and only, true love…that's a load of bullshit."

"It is not. There are people who go their whole lives and love only one other person-"

"And there are some who never love at all," Axel said waspishly.

"Then there's those annoying people who happen to be the majority and fall in love with more people than they realize," Marluxia said innocently. Axel and Naminé looked at him in disbelief and he shrugged. "There are."

"Still-"

"Hey, sorry it took so long!" Roxas said, swinging the door open and wrapping his arms around Naminé and Axel. "I got lost on my way back here. This town's to damn big."

"Get dressed and let's go," Riku said, jerking a thumb towards Roxas' dresser. The blond quickly gathered some clothes together and hesitated, turning to look at Axel.

"Um, Axel?"

"Yeah?" The redhead said, confused by Roxas' bashful look.

"Um…you know…that birthday present?" Roxas said, holding a clenched fist out to the redhead. "It got broken and I was wondering if…there was any way you could fix it and get it back?"

"Yeah, I can," Axel said, taking the necklace from Roxas' shaking fingers. He ignored the dull ache and the sweet agony that ripped through him at that small touch and pocketed the necklace. "I'll get it back to you as soon as I can."

"Thanks," Roxas said, slipping into the bathroom and dressing. He came out in far more appropriate clothes for seeing Axel and Naminé's mother as well as his father. "Let's go."

Naminé looped her arm around his, leading the way to the restaurant Axel and Naminé had agreed upon earlier with the mother with the boys bringing up the rear, unaware of the conversation occurring between the half siblings.

"So, how's this Reno?" Naminé inquired, watching Roxas' pale face draw tight. "They can't hear us."

"Oh he's well enough I suppose," Roxas said softly, guilt tainting his features. "I was drunk last night. Like couldn't-see-straight-drunk…I pretended he was Axel."

"Oh Rox," Naminé whispered, shame washing over as she realized how much pain Roxas went through because he wanted Axel and there was no way to set him free…no way except lie.

"When he…I couldn't see him, no matter how hard I tried. It was Axel," Roxas continued, still looking a bit disgusted in himself.

"You know he'll never love you," she told him softly, a lie that nearly choked her. Roxas took a deep shuddering breath and Naminé realized that she was voicing something Roxas believed to be true. "This one will take care of you and maybe, just maybe, you can mean it when you tell him 'I love you.'"

"Promise not to hate me?" Roxas whispered and it took everything in her not to burst into tears and tell him the truth; Axel loved him as much as he loved her brother.

"Yes," she breathed. "I'll never hate you. I promise."

"Promise you'll always be right here?"

"Forever and ever."

Somehow those simply words were quickly becoming apt at dismantling his fragile heart.

"Isn't this the place?" Axel asked as Kairi came shuffling out, glaring at the group through tear stained eyes.

"You had to leave me alone with that inconsiderate cow didn't you?" she shrieked, turning and running towards the ferries.

"Guess her and Mother are still getting along, huh?" Axel commented as he opened the door, holding it for their group. Naminé lead Roxas to their table, knowing the boys were following as she settled in and kept her half brothers close to her and each other.

"Hi Roxas," his father said with a smile and the blond's lower lip curled into a sneer but he forced it down as quickly as possible, choking on his fake grin.

"Hi Father, Mrs. Sinclair," Roxas greeted, feeling safe between Naminé and Axel despite his epiphany and Naminé's words. Beneath the table a hand found his and wound their fingers together, squeezing gently, reassuring. Roxas tried not to look at Axel in disbelief but didn't release the redhead's hand until their food came and it would have looked awkward if they had kept their hands beneath the table. He hoped that that wouldn't be viewed as cheating and bit back worry that it would upset Reno later when he described lunch with his father, soon-to-be stepmother and brother, half sister and friends.

'Could always neglect to mention it,' part of him suggested and he couldn't help but like the sound of that advice. The conversation was drawn out and once he finished his food he let his hands drop into his lap, hoping that Axel would brave the odd looks that would inevitably follow once someone inescapably noticed. He shivered when his father asked about the lady in his life, pleased neither his mother nor brother had seen fit to inform their wayward biological parental unit.

"Actually, I'm seeing a guy named Reno now," Roxas said, waiting for his father to piece together his words and their meaning. His fiancée looked as though someone had slapped her across the face and she couldn't quite make out what he had said. Oh his mother would be calling him tonight to interrogate him and ridicule him but secretly she would be pleased that he derailed the man who had abandoned her and his mistress.

"A guy?" Repeated his best friend's mother in disbelief, staring at him with wide, confused eyes. "As in…"

"Possession of a penis, the proper equipment to impregnate the opposite sex, i.e., females. Man, male-"

"Shut up Axel!" She snapped, the redhead fell silent with a smirk.

"As in, I'm gay," Roxas finished up, head held high.

'Hold your head high Gorgeous. They will kill to see you fall,' Marluxia thought as he watched Axel take Roxas' hand under the table and mad at Reno for not being there to do it instead. To make Roxas stop relying on Axel being his perfect match.

"You…darling, did you know about this?" Axel's mother asked sharply, turning to her dumbstruck fiancée who shook his head dumbly.

"Yes," her two present children chorused.

"Yep," Riku said, Marluxia answering after him. She glared at the lot of them and made a startling decision.

"We're leaving now. Axel, I don't want you to have any more contact with…him. You either Naminé."

"Mother, I'm old enough to make decisions of that nature on my own!" Naminé snarled, rising to tower over her mother. A teary Kairi reentered the restaurant, well aware she'd missed dinner but startled by the unfolding scene she had walked in on. "Just like Kairi is old enough to know whether or not she wants to be with Sora or anyone else, I can pick my own damn degree and we can be friends with whoever the hell we want. At least none of us have brought shame to our family by sleeping with a married man with children!"

Marluxia gave an imperceptible twitch at the phrase 'married man' but Riku was the only one who noticed.

'Well, at least his man doesn't have kids. And from the look of Professor Vexen in Biology, I'd bet my left lung the guy's wife has been cheating on him for years,' Riku thought as Naminé's mother stared at her daughter in disbelief. Somehow she had forgotten who her daughters truly were and in between the years of drinking and loneliness, she had lashed out at the obvious proof to her husband of her betrayal. She had never seen Naminé as the strong young woman standing before her, telling her how it was whether she wanted to her it or not.

"Nami's right."

The small group twisted to Kairi, who looked bashful.

"We're old enough to make our own decisions and we don't have to suffer for your mistakes. I'm going to keep seeing Sora if I want to. And you have no right to forbid us to be friends with Roxas simply because he prefers men," Kairi said, coming to stand beside her one time friend. Riku took her hand and squeezed, remembering five years ago when she had asked Sora out and he'd held her hand to give her courage then as well.

"Darling let's go," her mother said, confused and in need of some time away from her three children fixing her with accusing eyes. "Kids, I left your tickets with Kairi, you'll be coming home tomorrow."

"Bye Mother," Axel said in such a condescending tone it was almost more insulting than what the girls had said. Kairi and Naminé voiced their own scathing farewells and Roxas simply waved at the man who had contributed to his creation.

"So, uh, where are we staying tonight?" Kairi asked, confused.

"With us," Riku said, smiling. "I think you and I need to sit down and talk."

"I'd like that," admitted the redheaded girl in a whisper, smiling shyly.

"Let's head home," Marluxia said, jerking his head towards the dorms.

XxXxX

Kairi and Riku stayed long enough to grab a coat and then headed to the Tea Time Café, Riku smiling at Yuffie, Tifa and Aeris' ninja friend they had attempted to hook up with Marluxia, behind the counter.

"Yuffie, can I get my usual and…?" Riku looked at Kairi, who blushed and muttered "French vanilla latte"

Which Riku repeated to his coworker as he led Kairi to one of the cozy chairs for the patrons to enjoy at their leisure. Kairi looked around, eyes taking in the mismatched collection of chairs and the mushroom shaped tables in awe. The counter had a fence painted on it, the opening to get out the gate. The walls held a painting of a large house that appeared to be on fire but the lighting was so terrible in that direction Kairi couldn't be sure.

"Interesting…décor," she said as Riku set her in the large pink chair that would have towered over even Axel.

"The owners are from Wonderland. One also owns Mad Hats next door," Riku explained as Yuffie handed them their coffees, raising an eyebrow in Riku's direction. She knew all about Roxas and his preference but whether Kairi could see the exchange or not, she knew Riku was on friendly terms with this girl and extended a hand to shake.

"I'm Kairi Sinclair," she said, smiling at the black haired girl. "I used to be friends with Riku back in high school."

"I'm Yuffie, if you can't see my name tag," the wannabe ninja exclaimed with a smile. "Riku and I work together. Ri, I'll be in the back if you guys need me or someone comes in."

"Thanks Yuffie," Riku said as she bounced into the back, putting vibrant yellow and blue ear buds back in her ears as she went. He turned to Kairi, the intense look of guilt overwhelming her features.

"That's only half a lie, right?" She whispered. "We were still friends back then…right?"

"We could be friends again Kairi," Riku said. "I didn't leave you guys."

"I know that. Looking back it was so terrible but then…it just seemed so normal to not include you in the…what is it Larxene calls us? The Happy Crew? You just didn't seem to fit any more and I know that's no excuse but that's how it felt," Kairi said, looking down into the depths of her latte.

"I didn't exactly try to stay," the silveret said and Kairi knew that was a lie; Riku and tried to keep them together, a trio and yet, Kairi and Sora had let him fall away like a scab. "And maybe it was just what we needed to be friends again; time apart. Besides, I'm sure Sora's still pissed off about me dating Roxas."

"Actually, he was really just surprised and confused and you know how Sora general reacts to being those two things; he acts mad," Kairi said with a small smile. "He was kind of happy when he thought back on it. He wants Roxas to have someone there to support him and love him. For years he's been worried that Roxas had a crush on…on Axel and vice versa."

"Well, that's not too far off mark," Riku said and Kairi sputtered. "But neither of them will admit it and I'm pretty damn sure that it's making it worse on Roxas, thinking about Axel and…we all just sort of want him to let go, you know?"

"Yeah," Kairi said, understanding. Roxas and Axel would be perfect together but at the same time…the way they were now, they could never be more than friends and make it work. They would be a magnificent disaster that would destroy everything in its wake and Roxas needed something more, something far less fragile.

"So what are you guys gonna do?"

"Let it be and work itself out the way it's meant to be," Riku said with a shrug. "That's all that's left to do."

"Then I'll say nothing to Sora," Kairi said. "This is an issue for Roxas and Axel to resolve themselves. It's a matter of their hearts and not ours."

"So Kairi…friends once more?" Riku asked, sure that he wouldn't lose her again.

"Friends again after a break that was far too long," Kairi said, hugging the silveret. And somehow she knew that this was how it was meant to be; friends with Riku and Sora. "Sora asked me to marry him before Mom went on her flip out on us…would you give me away?"

"I'd be honored," Riku said, hugging her again. Things were finally looking up for Riku.

XxXxX

Back at the house Axel was out taking a walk and Marluxia was viewing Naminé interrogating Roxas about Reno. He was impressed with the restraint displayed on her part to not mention the redhead bodyguard before now but she was making up for it in full by asking everything you could possible know about a person and Marluxia almost wanted to ask him the same number of questions using Axel as the person to answer about. Because for as little as Roxas knew about Reno, he knew just as much about the eldest Sinclair. And he found himself wondering about what he knew about the professor he had eagerly, willingly, gone to bed with.

"Marly, where were you earlier? I let it go before because Roxas wasn't back yet but now you get to fess up," Naminé said finally, startling the pinkette.

"At my professor's," he replied honestly and then swiftly after cursed. Larxene and Naminé were in agreement that the best way to get an honest answer out him was to surprise it out of him because as far as they were concerned, it took too much effort to guilt trip him

"Oh, she that hot?" Naminé inquired knowingly and Roxas looked at him with narrowed, searching eyes. Roxas knew as well as Riku that all of Marluxia's professors were married men. Mainly because he had three for six classes, Vexen was his professor for half his classes, from biology (which he shared with Riku) to botany. And then his eyes went wide.

"Oh my God, you're sleeping with that creepy guy from the science department, aren't you?"

Why couldn't that thing about blonds being ditzs actually apply to any of the blonds he knew?

"The-wait, I'm confused," Naminé said, turning to Marluxia who sighed.

"Yes, I'm sleeping with Vexen and he isn't that creepy. His wife was away on a business trip with her boss and from the sound of it…she doesn't get much business done on these trips if you catch my drift," Marluxia explained, watching Naminé's eyes for the telltale signs of anger. She was the one who took infidelity the worst.

"His wife does that to him?" Naminé said in disbelief. "God, I'm amazed he didn't start sleeping with students before now."

"Well it didn't start like that. At first it was just coffee and dinner-he was lonely, ya know? And Rox was so busy with Riku before and now they're so busy pretending they didn't date and that all this shit doesn't bother them that…well I was lonely too," Marluxia muttered, looking at his feet.

"Sorry," Roxas grumbled guilty, looking at his feet as well.

"Hey I knew this was screwing with both of you big time. I just want you to get over it when you can," Marluxia said, sighing. "You don't think any less of me…"

"It's one thing for my mother to be with a man whose married and has children but Marly, from the sound of it, you're making his life much better. Although I would broach the subject of divorce sometime after graduation if you're still with him," the blonde girl said, rising to her feet gracefully.

Marluxia doubted he would even remember Vexen's name by that point, Naminé knew as well as he did that his one true desire was to travel the whole world and that, come hell or high water, he would see Wonderland before he died. He already had his route there planned out after college, had a checklist of the places and the sites to see. He knew what he wanted to do for the first year of non-educational living but after that…after that was a mystery to him.

"Now boys, I'm getting dressed for bed and then I'm hitting the hay. You two?"

"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night," Marluxia said, hugging the half siblings' goodbye before heading to his room and settling in, wondering what Vexen would think of his plans and where the blond man had come from, what he had seen. He fell asleep dreaming of a Wonderland where Vexen could do experiments on their five thousand different species of mushroom that no one had yet categorized properly while he studied the structure of some of the creatures. Somehow the dream filled him with a peace he had never come close to feeling.

XxXxX

The morning was awkward to say the least, saying goodbye to the Sinclair children at the docks. Riku and Roxas made a point of hugging Kairi, who looked damnably close to tears. Roxas hesitated about hugging Axel but the redhead looked so forlorn standing apart from the group that he forced himself to make the journey to Axel and hold him, as Axel had held him in years past.

"Take care my friend," he said, making Axel smile.

"You too kiddo," Axel said, ruffling the blond's hair before heading onto the ferry, Kairi and Naminé right behind him.

"Kairi told me about her and Sora," Roxas said as they watched the ferry go. He didn't think it was wrong, it was simply what he knew was needed; he took Riku's hand. Riku had never felt so loved and so disgusted with himself in that one moment. But steadily, watching Roxas' face, he wondered if that was why the blond had not been able to truly mean it when he had said 'I love you' in the way Riku wanted to. Because he had known that Riku's heart had longed for a brunette with eyes that devastating shade of blue that brought Riku to his knees. Maybe, or maybe it had been Roxas' heart unwilling to yield when it knew who it had, and probably would always, belong to.

'Reno has but a fraction of your attention, no more than me,' Riku thought as Roxas led him back to where Marluxia was already heading for 7th Heaven. 'Your heart rules this matter, no matter what any of us say, and it decided a long time ago that Axel was the only one you could love with everything you have.'

"Did Kairi tell you what she asked me to do?" Riku finally asked, smiling when Roxas took Marluxia's hand when they came up to him.

"No," Roxas said, looking worried. "What did she ask?"

"Well, her dad's dead and your dad…" Riku began, trailing off with a dazed smile. "She asked me to give her away."

"Will you?" Marluxia asked, his face matching Roxas'.

"You ever sat back and realized that maybe what your purpose in life is, isn't what you expected? That the right person wasn't really the right person?" The silveret asked, smiling bitterly. "Or that maybe it wasn't the right time? That's sort of how this feels. And I realized that…that maybe the best thing to do was to support them in this, with all my heart. And then maybe, somehow, it'll set me free."

"From what? Your heart?" Marluxia asked. "Or the matters of your heart? Do you truly believe that by ignoring them that you will be free?"

"No," Riku said, looking at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. "But at least it can let me take a break."

"Matters of the heart are hard to ignore," whispered Roxas. Riku and Marluxia couldn't help but notice that his eyes seemed far, far away as he spoke and they was sure that his heart and mind were on a ferry that had just left carrying the redhead that he loved so much and would never admit to loving. He was right. Matters of the heart were hard to ignore.

XxXxX

Reno knew he was still thinking about Axel. Oh not right now, right now he had Roxas' full attention but whenever his mind dared to wander against Roxas' will, he was obviously thinking about the man with hair as wild as the flames Roxas knew Axel loved. Right now however he would accept having Roxas' full attention, undoing the blond's jeans as Roxas stripped him of his t-shirt. He was hopeful; they hadn't gone this far in the past two weeks since their first date and their senseless drunken sex. Not like he hadn't tried or anything; hell he'd spent the past few weeks using every excuse to be Roxas' life, to fill every crevice and crack that were slowly becoming visible as Axel dissipated from Roxas.

For his part, Roxas was proving to be very stubborn about letting his mind go to pieces with his heart. Axel hadn't called since that last visit and he knew that this was his last night with Reno since Riku and Marluxia would be going back to Destiny Islands. And yet somehow he wanted it to be noon, when he'd disembark and Larxene would scramble to hug the three of them at once with Naminé to aid her and Axel would stand off to the side until he deemed it safe and then make a slow, steady path to them. He'd look as perfect as he always had to Roxas since that day in the cafeteria as he looped closer and Roxas knew that his heart would break with every step, making it a slow, torturous agony that was so painful it was sweet and welcomed, because Axel, wonderful, amazing Axel would be the cause.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Reno asked, pausing when he realized that Roxas was no longer with him. The blond shook his head, frowning and then smiled up at Reno, pulling him down into a kiss.

"As okay as I can get," Roxas replied, rolling them over. Reno almost protested but then Roxas was undoing his pants and taking a hold of some very sensitive parts that had Reno melting to pieces and he made a mentally note that if Roxas stopped throw a big fit. And stop Roxas did, Reno opening his mouth to whine when Roxas slid down his body and started using his mouth on the same area in a way that had Reno trembling. Roxas' eyes flickered up to watch Reno's face as he grazed his teeth over Reno's cock in his mouth, pleased by the gasping shudder he received in exchange for that little stunt.

"Roxas, wait, I'm gonna-"

Roxas pulled away and pressed his mouth to Reno's, effectively shutting him up but the message had been delivered and Roxas knew he had Reno shaking under his touch. And yet Roxas didn't really feel much of anything from making the redhead come so close, only to yank himself away.

"Do you want me on top or under you?" Roxas asked, tugging his pants off.

"On top," Reno murmured, kissing Roxas fiercely before letting the blond help him the rest of the way out of his pants. Roxas was trembling worse than his first time with Riku and he wasn't quite sure why; he wasn't a virgin and this wasn't their first time.

'Because you're consciously trying to hurt him,' the little voice in the back of his head said. 'You know that when you see Axel tomorrow he'll look at you and know that you let Reno fuck you anyway he wanted. And something in him-'

'Will not give a shit,' Roxas replied to his own traitorous mind as he straddled his boyfriend's waist. He shut off his mind and focused on making Reno squirm, wishing he didn't know that deep down he really just didn't want to hear his own mind voice a hypothetical scenario that would give him hope and bring him crashing down. And this time there would be no pieces big enough to shove together and hope that no one noticed the cracks. This time he would break and not be able to hold it together, he would make that leap and take him that much closer to the inevitable endless fall from grace that he knew was fast approaching. Although, truth be told, Roxas was sure that he had already taken that step and hovered on the cliff, waiting for the breeze that would send him toppling over the edge.

Reno didn't seem to realize Roxas had gotten distracted again and yanked him into a kiss with one hand on the back of the blond's neck, his free hand groping the night stand for the lube. When he was sure Roxas wouldn't move away from his mouth he let his hand slip from Roxas' neck down the freshman's spine, shivering as Roxas sucked on his bottom lip. Once he had coated his fingers in lube he reached around Roxas, trailing his fingers over the blond's backside so Roxas' knew what was coming.

Roxas' mind came crashing back down to what they were doing, recalling the accusations of his mind and guilt made his stomach churn. He bite back the nausea, knowing Reno wouldn't want to stop now that they'd gone so far. Reno's mouth moved from his with a gentle peck and then found his neck, making sure to leave the skin marked in the wake of his mouth's journey over Roxas' skin. His fingers worked to prepare Roxas for what was about to come and then it wasn't his fingers in Roxas anymore. As Reno groaned his name in ecstasy Roxas toppled off the metaphorical cliff and knew that there would be no saving grace at the bottom; he could not be freed from the guilt of performing this sin and he let himself lose all feeling in that knowledge. And then he let himself get lost in Reno, ignoring the tears that streaked his cheek as he moved, wishing he didn't know that in trying to hurt Axel he had hurt himself so much more.

Reno was gasping for air, glancing over at the pale blond who had rolled off the second they had come. Roxas had curled in on himself and looked so small and childish Reno almost felt guilt for pushing his way so forcefully into Roxas' world but he crushed it. Roxas had made the decision in the end and it was not Reno's fault he was upset with himself. He still rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around Roxas, a bit surprised that Roxas not only allowed it, he seemed to welcome it.

"Roxas?" Reno murmured and Roxas rolled over, his dried tears still visible on his face.

"Yes?" He whispered, kissing Reno. There was something so wrong with his eyes Reno wanted to say something but there was no way of bringing it up without sounding like he was complaining.

"You okay?" he said instead. Roxas surprised him.

"Well I'm still a bit…" Roxas trailed off his seductive words and hooked his leg around Reno's hip, leaving himself wide and open. "…wanting."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes Reno, I'm quite sure," Roxas said, pressing himself against the redhead even more. "Besides, it'll be a lonely week without you, won't it?"

"Yeah," Reno said, giving in. He pulled Roxas as close as he possible could. "It will be, won't it?"

XxXxX

Roxas threw up for the fifth time. Riku wondered if Roxas realized that that was probably not a very good sign, especially since he hadn't been so nauseated on their trip to Hollow Bastion. Marluxia however had been sick the whole time on the boat and was on the other end of their transportation, throwing up the little he had eaten before they left Hollow Bastion. Riku was happy to see Destiny Islands come into sight but it just seemed to make Roxas worse.

"Well, I'd bet it's guilt," Marluxia said when Riku came over to talk to him, sick of watching Roxas' head look up, see the Islands, and then duck down to throw up stomach bile.

"Why?" Riku asked, curious as to Marluxia's theories. Marluxia opened his mouth to answer but the boat heaved and he swung around, vomiting over the rail. Riku waited patiently, watching the pinkette spit to rid his mouth of the lingering taste when his stomach finally stopped giving him problems.

"Well, it's obvious what he was up to yesterday," pointed out Marluxia, ignoring Riku's wince. They had both noticed the dark blemishes that covered the majority of Roxas' neck. "And I bet that he did it all as a conscious, or possible subconscious, attempt to upset Axel. But he doesn't believe on a conscious level that it will upset him since he consciously believes that Axel doesn't want to be more than what they are, whereas his subconscious has noticed that his conscious may be slightly wrong in its assumptions."

"You should be a shrink," Riku said in awe. Marluxia looked as though he was about to deliver a sarcastic reply and then swore before throwing up again, barely managing to turn around in time to do so over the rail rather than on deck.

"I never want to go on another fucking boat again in my life!" Marluxia cried. Riku's mouth turned up in a grin.

"Well, you can't see the entire world then. There's an ocean between Atlantis and Twilight Town, isn't there?" Riku responded and Marluxia cursed so colorfully that some of the passing sailors' ears turned red at the tips.

"I hate you Riku," Marluxia whined as he clung to the rail. They docked in the harbor, Marluxia still cursing Riku under his breath as he went to find Roxas and Riku looked for their welcoming party. He was walking down the ramp, combing the small crowd with his eyes, when Larxene and Naminé tackled him.

"Riku!" Larxene shrieked, clinging to him. Behind her and Naminé, he could see Axel, Kairi and a disgruntled looking Sora, making him swallow hard. Larxene had just noticed Roxas and Marluxia and went to tackle them, releasing Riku from her strangle hold so suddenly that he almost fell over. It was Naminé who caught him and lead him over to the three waiting a little ways off, smiling at the group. Kairi enveloped Riku in a hug, making Sora glower as he returned the redheaded girl's embrace. Axel bypassed that, patting Riku on the back, and went to Roxas. He hesitated when he took a good look at his best friend, who looked slightly ashamed of himself, but still hugged Roxas, trying to pretend that it didn't bother him and that those hickeys covering Roxas' pale neck weren't the reason he was shaking.

"I hate boats," Marluxia grumbled passionately as he wrapped an arm around Larxene and Naminé. "Let's go get something to eat guys. Kairi, Sora, you guys joining us?"

"No," Sora said firmly as Kairi said, "Yes."

"Come on, Sora. Where else will you go, home to Mom?" Roxas asked and Sora muttered something foul under his breath.

"McDonald's calls," Axel sang, heading for the nearest one. He grabbed Roxas by the arm and practically drug him along, telling the blond all about how close he was to finishing his cars as though this was the first time they had spoken since Roxas had moved to Hollow Bastion. When they were out of the earshot of the rest of the group Axel stopped talking, which in and of itself was something to be worried about.

"Axel…?"

"I fixed your necklace. Tell Reno not to bite you again unless you take it off beforehand, the chain is really delicate," Axel said, digging around his pocket and holding his hand out to Roxas. He dropped the choker into Roxas' hand, the portion of the ribbon that had the chain to connect the necklace draping itself over his fingers.

"I never take it off," Roxas whispered, making Axel's fists to clench. "You made it yourself, didn't you? I've never seen anything like it."

"Yeah, I made it," Axel muttered. "I made you another thing too, if you want it,"

"Of course," Roxas said, smiling. No one else in the group had known that Axel had taken a jewelry making class at the college to satisfy one of his professor's requirements. "I love the little things you make."

Roxas had everything Axel had made in the class in a box where he kept everything that had a special meaning to it. Axel was the only one who had ever seen the contents of the box and knew about its existence.

"It's a charm bracelet," Axel mumbled, looking embarrassed. Roxas smiled.

"I can't wait to see it. Do the charms have a special meaning?" The blond asked, well aware that everything Axel had made him had a special meaning. The Nobodies, who Axel and Roxas would have loved simply because of their name, used the elaborate X as their signature but you had to be a huge fan of theirs to notice. They both felt the band's name applied to them, that they felt as though they were Nobodies. Which was why Roxas would never take off the choker Axel had given him for his eighteenth birthday, other than the fact that Axel had given it to him.

"All of them are something that I've seen before but…you know how you can't explain how an image got into your head? That's what it's like with these," Axel said, looking a bit embarrassed. Roxas couldn't begin to guess why. He had no way of knowing, short of Axel telling him, that the redhead had sat for hours trying to make every little charm perfect and had known the instant he finished that each charm represented their little group and some of the other people they had met.

For Roxas' charm he had made two keys, one white and one black, crossed like deadly blades. Roxas had always felt that keys were important and had once told Axel that you could unlock anything if you had the proper key he believed. The colors represented Roxas' firm belief that everything had a balance and there was always another side, another story, which was also the title to his favorite Nobody song.

Larxene had been a small dagger since their feisty blonde's father had been an expert knife maker and Larxene was an expert wielder of them. He'd even managed to make little lightning bolts in them, as a sort of nod to the fact that Larxene had once told them she felt absolutely alive when she heard a storm roll in and watched the lightening flash across the sky. Marluxia was a scythe, something very deadly like Marluxia could be when angered, with a tiny flower wrapping around it since everyone Marluxia had ever meet knew he adored plants. He'd grown up with the principle that the only stable thing was knowing that there was at least some kind of plant in the next place he went to.

Naminé was a small sketchbook, her desire to make her memories permanent through pictures something that they all knew and respected. Naminé's only comfort when she was small and Axel wasn't around to protect her was the paper that she drew on and the crayons she drew with. Riku had lost the two most important people to him and came out on the other end alive and as whole as one could expect and so for him Axel had tried to represent the struggle with a blade, a blade that could be used for defense just as easily as offense. He protected himself just as easily as he attacked himself.

The charm Axel had made himself was a weapon called the chakram and the two he had made to act as Roxas' reminder of him were red and silver. Red for fire and silver because the chain was silver. The spiked little edges of the wheel were wicked sharp and he'd cut himself making the damn thing, his blood running over the whole bracelet almost as if it demanded a blood sacrifice for its creation. And one day he wanted to make one for Demyx, for the man that Marluxia wouldn't talk about but was obviously thinking about…for the other people he knew they would meet that would have an unforeseeable impact on their lives because of the matters of their hearts.

"Will you tell me later?" Roxas asked as they stopped in front of the McDonald's door, blue eyes searching green expertly.

"Maybe," Axel said slyly. "I could always make you guess."

"Jerk," Roxas said as they all wandered in, no one else aware of why Axel was suddenly a jerk, or why Roxas was smiling while he said it.

XxXxX

Riku decided, as he stood in the too big foyer of the big empty mansion where his parents normally resided, that people don't really need to live in big, fancy houses, they want to. Sora still seemed hesitant about speaking to him, although they had been back for three days already. His parents had had to make the journey to Neverland to talk to Rufus who had once again skipped out on his guards. He hoped it was Reno and that Rufus had done something creative like take an interest in church activities and used a water gun filled with holy water to strike down the redheaded son of a bitch.

Well, he could hope.

"I'm gonna kill him dead. With like a rock or something," Axel mumbled from beside him. Riku hoped he was also thinking about Reno and not plotting his murder; that would be just his luck, ask Axel to keep him company and then have the guy kill him. Maybe there was something about being a redhead that made you clinically insane.

"Please tell me you're muttering about killing Reno and not me," he finally said as he walked towards the kitchen. Axel gave him a look that Riku was sure was supposed to convey something along the lines of, "What are you, retarded? Of course I'm muttering about Reno."

Which is what Axel said promptly after Riku presumed that.

"Just checking. By the by, I would recommend using something a little craftier than a rock to kill a bodyguard employed by Rufus Shinra. Especially since the one you feel homicidal towards is a police academy drop out."

"Very reassuring thanks," Axel muttered mutinously, crossing his arms over his chest as he followed Riku to the backyard, which was a term he used for the area very loosely. He felt it was fair considering that Riku's backyard consisted of a mini forest of palm trees after the good football field sized portion that had been cleared for a pool and other things to fill the space. Rich people.

"Well, Roxas seems to find it so," Riku snapped and wished he could take it back almost. Almost.

"I don't think Roxas knows," Axel said levelly, making Riku want to commend him on an excellent show of nonchalance. But Riku could see it for what it was; a show, an act that Axel could only maintain for so long. Riku had stayed at Axel's place like they had done in high school after Sora and Kairi had left him behind the other night and Naminé had told him that she believed that this was all for the best.

"They'd never make it the way they are now," she had told Riku when he'd asked why she saw the move to Land of Dragons as a blessing in disguise. "Roxas is too…he wants Axel but he needs to see more before he really knows that he isn't making the biggest mistake of life, so that he can be certain. He thinks he's sure but in reality, he's in denial that he could be wrong. And Axel is too damn restless to do either of them any good right now."

"You know when you went on your walk she interrogated the hell out of him, trying to see what he knew about Reno," Riku said as Axel pulled himself onto the table, rummaging through the fridge for the something he could feed the redhead. "The whole time Marly wanted to ask him the same questions but have him answer them answering them about you."

"What were the questions?" Inquired Axel, wondering if he could answer them about Roxas. Riku smirked, catching on, and began cleaning out the fridge since there was nothing edible in there.

"Full name," he said, knowing Axel knew that. Just like he knew Roxas' birthday was August thirteenth, his favorite color was black and white and that he hated spicy food.

"Roxas James Hale," Axel said without even thinking.

"His favorite band, song and class in high school," Riku shot out, dumping the food into the trash can as he headed over to the phone to order the only business on Stardust Island; the Pizzeria.

"The Nobodies, Nobody Longing to be Somebody by Melodious Nocturne and he liked Literature and History," Axel said, almost ashamed of how easily that all came to him.

Riku came back after ordering the pizza, taking a seat next to axle and patting his back.

"It's not that bad," the silveret lied.

"Roxas wanted to be a teacher until sixth grade; he realized he didn't like kids. He's thinking about going into medicine but it's more of for his mother for him. Roxas really wants to do something but he wants to be happy," Axel said quietly.

"You know, maybe we pushed this too hard," Riku said, feeling guilty. "Larxene always suggested it and even I was the one who brought it up first. Naminé's probably right; you two need to get away from each other."

"Wha?" Axel said, staring at the silveret in disbelief.

"Let him go," Riku said. "Live your life as though you never knew Roxas, pretend. Go be Axel as Axel, not Axel without Roxas his best friend."

And Axel realized that that was exactly what he wanted. To never think of the lithe blond he'd known for years. To look back and not remember Roxas James Hale as the one the who got away. To remember him as his friend. His best friend.

Because that's all Roxas ever really was.

XxXxX

Roxas stared out the window of Reno's old apartment, waiting for the redhead to get off the phone. He was acutely aware of the letter on the table, one of one thousand eight hundred and thirteen. One for every day since he had last seen Axel, who had promised to write him every day. Roxas diligently read each letter but had never responded to the redhead, deciding that while Axel still needed him, he no longer wanted to need Axel. A little under five years ago he had stumbled off a boat onto the shores of Destiny Island, queasy from staring at the island and knowing as they drew closer that he was so much closer to snapping. And five years ago he had let go of the person he had loved longer than he had understood what it meant to love someone so wholly and completely.

Instead of focusing on Axel's daily check-in he went for the rarer postcards, each colorful vibrant picture Roxas was sure he would never personally see. Two and a half years ago Marluxia had set out to see the world like he had always wanted to and sent a postcard to all their old and new friends, including Demyx and Vexen, the latter who had divorced his wife a year after Marluxia left. Demyx' career was still skyrocketing and from what Roxas had seen found himself a very nice pianist by the name of Zexion.

"Is there any news worth reporting?" Reno asked as he returned. Roxas shook his head, smiling. They had had the occasional spat and thrown a few lamps but they had come through and were a stronger couple because of it. Well, mostly. There was an unspoken rule that Axel was never mentioned and that Reno never touched the letters that came first from Land of the Dragon and later on Traverse Town.

"Marly went on an expedition through the forest with a woman studying the gorillas there and they met a man who was raised by them. He said it's amazing how quick Tarzan is picking up English," Roxas said, smiling. Reno didn't comment on the piece of notebook paper in front of the blond, a few coffee stains already blooming on it. He had no idea that Roxas wanted to tell him that Axel finally finished his car, that he had wandered around town last night and wound up drinking in a bar where he met a girl he'd known six years ago and had a one night stand with looking to have a repeat and turned her down. There were gaps and holes in their relationship that neither of them commented on though they both knew the issue needed to be addressed.

"I'm sure Marly enjoyed it. Where's his next adventure?" Reno asked as he made more coffee and Roxas smiled.

"His next adventure will apparently take place in Traverse Town. He wants me to go see him since it's only two, three hours away," Roxas said, ignoring the inevitable conversation at the moment. Because Traverse Town meant Axel. And there was no way he could go there and not at the very least run into Axel.

"Want me to go with?" Reno asked and Roxas knew what he was really asking.

'Do you plan on meeting Axel?'

"No, Marluxia never really liked you," Roxas said, knowing what Reno would interrupt his response as.

'No and stay the bloody hell out of it.'

"I'm going to Wonderland with Rude, Elena and Tseng to keep an eye on Rufus' new deal with this singer…I think her name is Alice or something. Anyway, I'll be gone a couple days," Reno said, pouring himself a drink. "It works well."

"It does," Roxas said with a smile.

XxXxX

"He won't show."

Marluxia kicked Axel under the table.

"He will," Marluxia said, watching the crowd. "Not everyone believes the worst of everyone."

"Which is why you told him I was going to be here," Axel snapped, glaring.

"Oh hush yourself," Marluxia said as Roxas passed by the window. Axel's heart clenched at the sight, amazed at how similar Roxas was to the boy he'd waved goodbye to five years ago and yet…there was something different about Roxas. Something in the way he held himself, the look on his face...Axel couldn't quit pinpoint what it was, but he wasn't sure he liked it.

"Marluxia!" Roxas exclaimed, pausing when he saw Axel. And then his face broke into a wide grin. "Axel!"

"Hey how have you been?" Marluxia asked as Roxas took a seat beside his old best friend.

"I've been doing well. You missed Riku; he was here last week. He said Kairi was looking forward to the holidays," Roxas said. "Reno and I had dinner with him. He really likes his weekend photograph trips."

"How are things with Reno?" Marluxia asked, ignoring Axel. The redhead looked disinterested even to Roxas but he had had years to learn about Axel and the man sitting beside him was anything but.

"Well enough," Roxas said, forcing a smile. He didn't mention the actual problems. Like going to visit family and coming back on several occasions to hear Reno in the bedroom with someone else. Pretending he didn't know, that it wasn't important and that even if he had known, it wouldn't have bothered him. But deep down, it really, really did.

Because deep, deep down he knew Axel would never have had Elena in his bedroom when Roxas was away. And it killed him to know that.

"That's good to hear," Marluxia said.

XxXxX

Roxas opened the door to his and Reno's apartment with a sigh, knowing he was far later than he had intended on being. He had meant to leave early, he really had. But talking to the other two, seeing Axel again and talking to him about anything and everything (Reno was an unspoken boundary they both acknowledged)…it had been so long since he had been able to do that with anyone. It had been so strong, that desire to stay, that he had almost asked Axel if he could spend the night at his apartment. But Roxas knew that if he had done that he would have not been able to restrain himself. Because they would have been alone for the first time in years and he would be exactly where he was several years ago; lying beside a sleeping Axel and crying himself to sleep over a future they could not share because Axel could never care for him in the same way Roxas cared for him.

He opened the bedroom door dully, too tired to register the noise he was hearing until the door was fully open and he took in the sight before him.

Reno was so busy thrusting into Elena that he hadn't even heard Roxas come in. The blond decided then and there that he had had enough. He calmly picked up Reno's expensive cologne and threw it at the pair, watching with satisfaction as it sailed over their heads and shattered on the wall, drenching them with glass and cologne. Reno pulled out and turned around, paling when he saw his boyfriend standing in the doorway. Elena scampered to gather her clothes and left as soon as she was clothes, trying not to make eye contact with either of them.

"I'm packing," Roxas finally said, destroying the silence that had been pressing down on them. He went around the room, throwing his possessions into a duffle bag, well aware that all of it would fit since he had not accumulated anything new since he had left home that he hadn't gotten rid of something in exchange for.

"Roxas, don't go," Reno called as he exited, getting up to follow him. "It was a mistake, it won't happen again."

"No," Roxas said, turning to face his now ex-boyfriend. "No, you will. And you will keep doing because you never really wanted me. You wanted someone around constantly. Who put up with your cheating, who didn't care. But I won't put up with it anymore. I'm leaving Reno, I'm sorry. Goodbye."

Roxas left him there, wondering where he had gotten the strength to leave behind the safest, most stable thing in his life when he realized that Reno had never been that.

Axel had. Always had been, always would be.

XxXxX

At some point after Roxas had stormed out of the apartment he had shared with Reno for years that he had nowhere to really go. All his family was in Destiny Island and Sora and Kairi were busy celebrating the birth of the second child, a bouncing baby girl, they wouldn't need Roxas hanging about. His mother had been trying to avoid him for years, similar to his father and new wife's policy. Demyx was on tour with Zexion, Riku had gone back to Atlantica where he worked for a company that paid him to take photographs worldwide and Namine was still living in Land of the Dragons with her parents. Larxene was still on Destiny Island and Marluxia hadn't a place to call home in years … but he was where Axel was.

So the only logical conclusion to be reached was to go to Axel's.

"Roxas? It's five in the morning, are you ok?" Axel said as he opened his front door, looking confused at seeing Roxas standing there, drenched from the spring rain and carrying a duffle bag.

"I left Reno," he said simply. Axel opened the door wider to allow him and immediately disappeared, reappearing with a towel. He proceeded to dry Roxas' off, stripping the pale blond as he went. Roxas squirmed at the lack of consideration for his personal comfort but Axel ignored him and left him standing half naked in the living room, shivering. When the redhead returned the second time he had clothes and thrust them into Roxas' limp arms, pointing to the bedroom.

"Get dressed before you catch your death."

Roxas bolted into the bedroom, quickly yanking on the oversized garments. When he was done he poked his head out of the bedroom, wondering where Axel had gone. The redhead was standing where Roxas had left him, obviously tense.

"Axel?" He called, embarrassed at how his voice trembled. Axel twisted to look at him and Roxas wondered how much strain he was under; his face looked tight and he appeared to be restraining himself.

"Go to sleep Roxas, you look like you could use it," he said. Roxas ignored him and tiptoed across the floor, wrapping his arms around his best friend's waist from behind impulsively, breathing in the sent he'd been longing for, letting it cloud his mind.

"Thank you," he said softly, startled when Axel turned around in his grip. The redhead seemed to be searching his face desperately for something, face still tense. And then Axel did the rashest thing he had done since the last time he had seen Roxas.

He kissed him.

It was hard and sweet and everything Axel had known it would be, losing himself in the sensation. He groaned when Roxas responded, arms wrapping around his neck timidly, and pulled the blond in tighter.

"Stay with me tonight," Axel pleaded.

"I will," Roxas promised as they tumbled onto the couch, Axel cradling Roxas as close to himself as he could manage.

XxXxX

Roxas knew it was somehow Marluxia's fault, that he had somehow made him wake up with long, lanky arms holding his waist. He wanted to squirm out of Axel's grasp and yet he couldn't help but feel at home and so perfectly comfortable right there.

"Is it bad that I wanted to kiss you until you woke up?" A soft voice whispered to him, making his stomach drop.

"Yes," Roxas replied, glowering at the green eyes staring back at him. They flickered down to his lips and Roxas knew Axel's mind was probably going into overdrive, debating the pros and cons of leaning and stealing a kiss. Last night neither of them had thought, had weighed the repercussions of their words or their actions. Now however…now their minds were going into overdrive, wondering and longing and debating if they should wait any longer to be all the other had always wanted. Roxas found when he thought about it himself that he didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted this but he wasn't going to give in easily. "I can't believe you said that."

"I'm sick of lying to myself," Axel responded and decided to hell with it. He leaned in even closer and Roxas stiffened in his arms, frightened. "I've wanted to be with you for a very long time Roxas. I know that before wasn't right and now…there's nothing between us anymore."

'That doesn't make this any more believable or better you…you…'

Axel took his silence for what it was; acquiescence grudgingly given. He shivered as he moved and time swallowed the distance between them until he could taste Roxas' breath. With a sharp swallow he leaned forward and captured Roxas' willing mouth in a light kiss, trembling as he cupped the blond's cheek. Roxas' timid hands moved to hold him as well and for a few minutes, everything was right in the world.

'Matters of the heart are hard to ignore,' Axel thought, smiling as Roxas pulled him back in for another kiss. The blond shivered as Axel enveloped him, kissing him back. Axel let his lips briefly coast over the most precious face in the world to him, memorizing the feeling of Roxas' skin beneath them. He pulled away for a brief period of time, stroking Roxas' cheek as he studied the expression in those deep blue eyes he'd longed to drown himself in since they had met.

"Want me to make us breakfast?" Roxas asked curiously, as Axel moved down to his neck, laughing when the redhead hummed against his skin in acquiesce. "You're going to have to let me up then Axel," Roxas reminded him, laughing even harder when he received a horrified look. "Oh don't worry I won't go anywhere but the kitchen."

"But I'm warm," Axel whined, pouting until Roxas squirmed his way out from beneath him, slipping onto the floor. Axel continued to pout but moved his act to the kitchen with his audience, watching Roxas cook with interest. Finally curious took over his interest in pretending to be upset. "Where did you learn to cook?"

"Reno can't and I didn't want to eat nothing but take out so I learned a lot through trial and error. Olette helped a lot," Roxas admitted, recalling last night.

"Why did you come back to me Roxas?" Axel asked as Roxas started frying eggs.

"I got to thinking. Well, I haven't been happy with Reno in…I don't know if I was ever happy," Roxas said. "I…I always felt as though you'd never want me after I slept with him and since I was so far in already, why not just let myself keep drowning. And last night…after seeing you…I realized that you had always been there for me."

"I love you," Axel said quietly. "Always have and always will. I don't think there's a line you could cross that would keep me from you."

"I kept all of the letter you sent me," Roxas admitted blushing. "I read them all the time and I was always so anxious for the next. And when I found out Reno was cheating on me…they were the only comfort I had because I couldn't have you."

"You'll always have me," the pyromaniac said, and then Axel kissed him again, ignoring the frying eggs sizzling behind them, refusing to release the blond until he heard a sharp crack behind them. Roxas spun out of his grasp and started scraping the eggs off the pan, trying to toss them on plates as Axel returned to the table. They ate in silence and had finished up when there was a sharp knock at the door, causing Roxas to nearly drop his plate and Axel, who was already up, to jump and hit his head on the doorframe.

"I'll get it," Axel grumbled, rubbing his head. Roxas gathered their plates up as Axel went, nodding in understanding as he put them in the sink to start washing them. Axel decided to tell him that was unnecessary when he got back, opening the door with a "hello" that died on his lips when he saw who was on the other side.

"I'm looking for Roxas," Reno said, standing in scuffed clothes with bags under his eyes. Axel wondered if he'd actually slept or if he had started chasing Roxas the second the blond was gone.

"Why look here?" Axel asked, searching Reno's deadened face. There was something about Reno he had never liked or trusted but at the same time, when Roxas had been dating Riku, they had had something in common. Both had wanted Roxas, had wanted him to be their boyfriend, lover…Axel had been sure Reno wanted Roxas to be his whole world just as much as Axel had.

"Because he loves you," Reno spat out. "Because he'd come to you."

"Then why come back for him?" Axel asked, terrified. 'Don't leave me again Roxas.'

"You left him to me," Reno sneered. "You can't just come back into his life, expecting him to accept you back."

"You cheated on him," Axel snarled. "I may have left but that's because I thought he wanted you."

"I don't know why you two are arguing this when it's me your arguing over," Roxas said, stepping out of the kitchen; "I could easily tell you what's going to happen."

Reno and Axel both turned to look at him and Roxas swallowed, staring at the pair of redheads, one who had been the most important part of his life for years without knowing it and the other who had stemmed the flow of pain, had stopped it from drowning him.

"I'm not going back to you Reno. I've been putting up with your infidelity for years," Roxas said, shaking his head. "But I'm not staying here either."

"What?" Chorused Axel and Reno, turning to glare at each other but Roxas wasn't done.

"I love you Axel, I really do," he began. "But I've been relying on someone else for so long, I can't remember what it's like to rely on myself. And I don't think it's really fair of either of you two to assume you're better than the other because you both hurt me. I'm sorry if I gave you a different impression Axel but…"

"I understand," he softly answered, sitting on his couch as Roxas disappeared into the bathroom where Axel had thrown his clothes to dry. Reno stared after him, looking so lost Axel almost pitied him. Roxas came back dressed and toting his bag, looking between them as though he wasn't sure as to how to react.

"Thank you for letting me stay," Roxas said, kissing Axel on the check. "I'll be back someday."

"I know," Axel said, watching as Roxas left him once again, just as he had feared. Reno followed with a determined expression on his face but by the time he reached the bottom floor, Roxas was leaving in a taxi cab he had hailed down. Reno watched him go, deciding he should have known better than to think he could have held on to Roxas any longer than what he had.

XxXxX

Marluxia was more hesitant doing this than he was the first time he'd knocked on the owner of the house's first residency. He glanced over at the lilac bushes, a little surprised by them but pleased by the color; the yard was so lifeless. The white house looked like all the neighbors with its pretty, perfectly manicured field of emerald, freshly cut. Only one car, no basketball hoop or other signs of children but that wasn't too surprising. Children were not Vexen's forte.

"Hello-Marluxia?" Vexen said after opening the door. He stood staring at the pinkette, leaving Marluxia to panic, wondering if visiting his college fling-'My heart's going crazy just seeing him!'- was a good decision. And then Vexen pulled him into his arms and kissed him so passionately Marluxia wondered how he had mustered it up, trying halfheartedly to join in.

"I forgot you could be so enthusiastic," Marluxia said when Vexen had pulled away, wondering if he would ever get any quicker at catching his breath.

"I forgot you were so grating," retorted the blond. They both smiled. "Were you in town long enough to deem it safe to visit?"

"Maybe," Marluxia said.

"Then would you like to stay for dinner?" Vexen asked, grinding his teeth when his maid poked around the corner. She had always approved of Marluxia, the pinkette was happy to see her still in his employment.

"Would you like to stay forever?" She chirped and Vexen pushed her back behind the door, cheeks tinged slightly pinker than usual.

"Don't mind her, you know how Rikku is," Vexen said.

"But what if I did want to stay forever?" Marluxia asked quietly, making the professor pause in taking his bags.

"Then I would have you know that I'm rough," the blond said softly, pushing Marluxia up against the wall, so much like there first time.

"I give just as good as I get," replied the pinkette with a Cheshire Cat grin.

"Did the world get boring?" Vexen asked, wondering if it would regain its appeal and Marluxia would leave again in dire need to see what wonders it had gained his absence.

"No, more like I finished looking around and realized it would have been far more fun if I hadn't been alone," Marluxia said, unzipping his coat. "I got so lonely the first time I left. I'm sure you did too."

"I was lonely most of my life before I met you," retorted Vexen in his usual cynical matter. "It's just a matter of remembering how I used to live when life was like that; lonely."

"I wrote to you," Marluxia pointed out with a pout. He and Vexen had emailed and IMed frequently as well but both had liked the bi-monthly letters. They were more personal.

"I missed being able to touch you, hold you, kiss you…a letter is not you," Vexen complained, pulling Marluxia into another kiss. They might have continued on if Rikku had poked around the door once more, coughing slightly for attention.

"You two do realize you can have crazy, kinky sex all over the place once I finish cleaning, right?"

XxXxX

Reno groaned, staring down at the large pile of papers he still had to read and sign. Slumping onto his desk, he glanced at the picture still perched on his desk that he hadn't had the heart to take off. Roxas was playing with Elena's cat Mittens.

"It's your fault you know," someone said from behind him.

"Oh shut up, you went along with it," he grumbled, too tired and annoyed to concede to Elena's wisdom.

"It is," she said, sitting down at her desk next door. "You knew he still loved Axel and you gave him a reason to go back to the man."

"But he didn't stay," Reno whined. "Now I don't even know where he is."

"I think he actually made a good decision; when hasn't he been in a relationship since he was in high school? Not for a very long time," Elena said. "That and he's been considering this as an option for a long time. We talked about it once."

"Oh," Reno said, wondering when Elena or Roxas had had time. Or what Roxas had done about his jobs at the Usual Spot and Riku's old café.

"He also talked to me about you cheating on him; he knew for awhile," Elena said, stapling her stack of documents. That sadly enough didn't really surprise Reno; Roxas was too smart for his own damn good. "He just didn't care because you were the only stable thing he had because that was what he wanted; stability. His parents couldn't give it to him, Riku couldn't and neither could you. That leaves him with the most stable, safest thing he has ever known."

"Axel," Reno said softly. He picked up the picture, opened his bottom desk drawer and dropped it in. It would be years before he looked at it again. He turned to Elena. "Have you ever thought about us being in a committed relationship?"

She kissed him.

XxXxX

Roxas had been gone a year when Axel heard the knock on his door. He glared at it and its false hope, getting up to answer the bringer of false hope.

"Hello-" Axel's words died on his lips. Roxas had always had that effect on him.

"Will you still have me?" Asked Roxas, waiting as Axel had.

"Fool," Axel said, yanking Roxas into his arms and kissing him. "Now get in here so I can finally ravage you."

"Don't you mean ravish?" Roxas asked, smirking. Marluxia had been right; spending time back at Destiny Islands had been better for him.

"I can't do both," Axel asked, hoisting Roxas up so that the blond had to wrap his legs around Axel's waist or risk falling. Roxas glared, Axel grinned but both were thinking the same thing.

'Matters of heart are hard to ignore. You've left us now but we're not alone.'

My deepest most sincere apologies to everyone that this literally took a good chunk of a year to finish. I hope you like it Ruri-chan.

Have a fantabulous day all!