James was seventeen when he decided he could no longer afford to shag Sirius. He loved his best friend and the times they had together in an intimate way were some of the best of his life. But they were graduating in nine months and over the summer Lily had given him an ultimatum.

"Sirius or me James, I'm sorry but I just won't share you any longer." Her green eyes had sparkled with anger and humour. James gasped and tried to pretend like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Please don't insult me, I'm not stupid," Lily barked at him, "Everyone knows that you and Sirius have been fucking for the last three years, it's obvious in the way you touch and look at each other."

"I'm sorry…" James stuttered, "I should have told you… I should have ended it…it's just a silly little thing we use as release…and you…you and I…we…" He bumbled to a stop.

"Yes, yes we just started having sex this year. I'm truly sorry; Sirius already doesn't like me all that much but it's him or me."

And James had chosen her. The ache in his chest was intense, he felt like a Judas, a great betrayer. He tried to tell himself, Sirius must know that they couldn't have a future together. He'd told himself Sirius would be happy they were breaking things off, no more sneaking around and now Sirius could shag all the girls that drooled all over him.

He hadn't seen much of Sirius over the summer, they'd sent each other a few owls and he'd broken the news softly to his friend. For two weeks he'd heard nothing, and then a short note had come telling James that he understood and had expected it.

The boys had met up at the Leaky Cauldron with Peter and Remus and James had been shocked to find that Sirius seemed pretty normal, not sulking, and not sad. He didn't try to grope James under the table or kiss him in the dark corners of the pub's men's room.

It crushed James; he hadn't realized how much it would hurt to know their last moments of intimacy had been in the loo of the Express on the way home from school. Robes a mess, lips touching skin in hurried heated fashion.

When they we ready to leave James and his mates were all a bit drunk, Remus took Peter home because he couldn't apperate, leaving James in the cooling August night with Sirius. He turned to his friend and wrapped his arms around him. James kissed Sirius, tongue pushing into his mouth.

"Ah Padfoot, suck me off, please? I've missed your mouth on me, do it here, right now," but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

Sirius pushed James away, his eyes calm and unhurt, "No James, you made your choice and I'm okay with it, but no."

"How can you be so cold?" James asked, he pushed his best friend and glared, "I figured you'd be hurt, that you'd beg me to choose you instead, what's going on with you?"

Sirius ran a hand through his long dark hair and glared at the ponce standing in front of him.

"I am not pinning for you Prongs, we both knew this day was coming, I'm sorry you feel like I should…mourn…Let's just go on the way we were…before."

"You mean before you fucked me? Before I came in your mouth, before I held you while you slept?" James spat out.

"Yes, you're with Lily now and I… well I'm not." Sirius blushed and James had the feeling he was hiding something. Sirius leaned over and cupped his friend's cheek and then with a swish of his wand was gone.

Several days later, feeling like a total arse James decided to surprise Sirius at his home with beer and an apology. Sirius had been right to push him away. James loved Lily and the kind girl had taken care of his lust in ways Sirius never had.

James whistled as he mounted the steps to Sirius' flat, he had a key and figured, after he knocked and no one came to the door, he'd just let himself in. He opened the door, "Padfoot, it's Prongs! I'm sorry I was such a stupid prat! I've come begging for forgiveness with beer!"

Hearing nothing James walked through the living room and down the hallway; he came to Sirius' bedroom door and kicked it open. The sight there startled him so much he dropped the beer and the glass bottles broke all over the hard wood floor and his shoes.

On the bed spread eagle was Sirius, naked his cock glistening and hard. On either side was his brother Regulus and Regulus's girlfriend Hestia Jones, a Hufflepuff. They were two years younger than James and Sirius.

Hestia's small hand was wrapped around the base of Sirius' cock, pumping it as Sirius groaned, moaning around Regulus cock. The boy was holding his brother's head as he pushed himself deep down Sirius throat. They were all sweating and the smell of sex was strong in the room.

They froze when the bottle's broke. Sirius pulled away from his brother, "James? What the…"

James turned, dashing away tears that were burning his eyes. As he reached the front door a hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

His glasses slipped down his nose and Sirius pushed them back up like a thousand times before.

"James, please don't be upset." Sirius pleaded.

"This is why you weren't upset, this is why it took two weeks for you to respond, you were fucking your brother and his whore of a girlfriend!" James exclaimed.

"Hey! You do not talk about Hes that way," Sirius eyes flashed with his temper.

"Hes is it… well then I'll leave you and her and…him alone," James tried to turn around again but Sirius wouldn't let him." You promised you'd never be with Regulus again Sirius."

"You promised to never leave me," Sirius sighed, "look after I got your letter Reggie called said he'd been having issues with Hestia and sex and asked if I'd help out, I was horny and pissed at you so I said yes. After the first couple of times I realized I can have with Reggie and Hestia what I never could with you!"

"What? Incest and an underage virgin?" James asked.

"No, with Hestia everyone can know and with Regulus I can have a boy in my bed again. He was my first experience in guys and I've missed him." Sirius tried to explain.

"It's sick Padfoot, he's your flesh and blood it's just sick." James pushed Sirius away from him.

"It is sick, but you just need to turn the other cheek Prongs, you have to, this is what I need to deal with not being with you." Sirius let James go.

James nodded and opened the door, walking out he tried to believe it was wrong and sick, that his friend had crossed a line. But he knew that if this was how Sirius needed to let James go then he would have to be okay with it. James had made a choice and he couldn't be upset with however Sirius decided to deal with it.

He never mentioned to Sirius that it had turned him on and that when he fucked Lily that afternoon he saw Regulus with Sirius's mouth around him and wished they could trade places.